Fear Pendulum Recap

We talked about fear on here recently, with how it often incites a fight or flight response, & in the case of this recent pandemic, is usually expressed with either buying copious amounts of toilet paper or sharing specific memes that express a complete disregard &/or carelessness for anything virus-related. (See that post, here.)

We also talked about how neither of those options work.

Of those responses to fear, it either leaves us crippled & crushed under an unsurmountable mountain of anxiety or the other response leaves us being disrespectful to those in harm’s way.

But the third option is putting our full trust in God. Letting Him quiet our hearts, by leaning into Him… While also respecting the fear of others & seeking to protect them from potential harm by seeking our confidence in Him over ourselves & our “wisdom.”

Another Type of Fear-Reverence, Respect, & Awe

But there is another type of fear I want to talk about today: Fear of God.

Some of you, in going through this pandemic, have been faced with this fear a little more directly than you may have admitted to yourself in the past.

It is something we should all possess, but not necessarily in the way you might understand it.

Perfectly Just & Perfectly Merciful

You see, God is both our perfect, unprejudiced Judge & our merciful, loving Redeemer.

As the perfect Judge, He has to maintain His law.

His law says that the punishment of sin (or rejecting His way & rebelling against His way) is death. This death leads to eternal separation from His love & every good thing, leaving us with only pain unimaginable & unyielding.

But, He is also our perfect, merciful Redeemer.

In this, knowing we could never perfectly uphold His law without fault, God sent His very Son, Jesus Christ, to die on our behalf, taking our sentencing upon Himself & rising again, victorious over both sin AND death, that anyone who turns from their way to put their hope & trust in Jesus instead of themselves, will be met with REDEMPTION to an eternity with NO pain or hurt or tears or sorrow, but only joy & goodness & love.

But, Fear GOD

So, in the Bible, we are told roughly 500 times (according to a quick Google search) to “FEAR GOD.”

One being, in Matthew 10:28 “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul & body in hell.” (Also in Luke 12:4-7.)

This could also be stated as, “And do not fear [this pandemic, which kills] the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” (edit mine)

Now, this is not a fire & brimstone message, so don’t worry… stick with me for the Good News….

Fear, Reverence, Awe

So, keeping in mind that God is both our Perfect Judge & Perfectly Merciful, what exactly does it mean to “fear God’?

Think of it in the terms offered by the original Greek “phobeisthe”: to fear, to be alarmed by, to revere, or to be in awe of.

God loves you so infinitely & perfectly & unconditionally that NO MATTER your past or present, HE PAID IN FULL your debt to Him, through Jesus taking your sentence by dying for you if you but put your faith in HIM. That is LOVE.

BUT, He also deserves our undying respect & honor & reverence & awe as our Almighty God… Our KING… Our Creator.

A Joy Eternal

In this time of uncertainty, fear, inconvenience, discomfort, worry, sickness, & death, let us remember that while it is true that this pandemic is wreaking havoc, it cannot have our souls.

We can rest in God’s ALMIGHTYness. We can rest in knowing that He has a plan for GOOD to come from this. And for those who have said “YES” to Him in accepting His FREE GIFT of redemption, we can rest in knowing that whether we lose to this virus or not, our eternal home is one of no tears, no pain, no suffering, no hurts, & no sorrow.

There is hope.

HOPE

(Emphasis in all verses in this post are mine.)

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure….” (Hebrews 6:19)

“Guide me in Your truth & teach me, for You are God my Savior, & my hope is in You all day long.” (Psalm 25:5)

“… put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love & with Him is full redemption.” (Psalm 130:7)

Fearing the LORD Is:

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, & knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” (Proverbs 9:10)

“The fear of the Lord leads to life; then one rests content, untouched by trouble.” (Proverbs 19:23)

Sometimes, when God displays His great power, we are tempted to hide & run, knowing we are unworthy. But, when God displays His power, it is to remind us that He has everything covered. He is the GREAT I AM. He is Creator, KING of kings, Lord of lords, Almighty God!

He deserves our respect & our trusting obedience. And while it is easy to self-protect, self-soothe, or self-solve, we CAN TRUST HIM with our burdens, fears, worries, etc.

Crave the Display of His Power, For in It Lies Our Confidence

I don’t know about you, but having that perspective makes me crave the display of God’s great power rather than avoiding or fearing it. It is a reminder that He is SO MUCH BIGGER than me!

And so, in this terrifying & uncertain time that we live in, look to Him. Fear HIM—revere Him, respect Him, honor Him, be in awe of Him… rather than cowering or running away from Him.

Exodus 20:18-21

Choosing a Response

Will you “remain at a distance” as the Israelites responded?

Or will you approach where God is & trust Him over all else?

Don’t run from His power, but crave it & submit trustingly to it.

God is still God. He is greater than this pandemic. His plan spans eternity. He loves us infinitely & unconditionally. He is Almighty God.

Even if it has to start with an uncertain whisper of the heart (where I began & where this man in the Bible began): “Immediately the father of the child cried out [to Jesus] & said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

Shine Hope. Fear God, not the virus.

How will you respond?

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Manilla Bay Earrings

Local capiz shell is dyed a light blue/green hue and hand cut into half moon shapes accented with silver toned metal.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives! 

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve

It’s interesting running a blog, you know. It’s like opening up my personal journal for all to judge or be encouraged or whatever they decide to do with it.

Sometimes it’s draining to wear my heart on my sleeve, but if I am completely honest with you, I find it to be a great honor to share with you.

I get asked by some women why I would want to share my struggles with others. They ask if it’s embarrassing.

I will say that I used to care a lot more about what others think of me & that while I do still struggle through the battle from time to time, I have actually grown more confident in sharing.

Every Mistake Displays His Grace

I think the biggest reason why it encourages me more than embarrasses me is the fact that while I do make mistakes & mess up & get it wrong, leading to blog posts about how God walked me through it… I have learned that each screw up on my part is an opportunity to share God’s patience, love, & grace.

Sure, I messed up in those situations. Sure, I like people to think I have it all together far more than I do sometimes.

But when it all boils down to it, I realize that my “shame” can either be left as my shame or it can turn into an opportunity to point others to our great, loving, forgiving, powerful, awesome God.

Not Immune to Mistakes

I used to try to save face a lot more often than I do now, but I am human, just like everyone else. I make mistakes just like everyone else. I act in my own self interest at times, just like everyone else. I give up. I quit too soon. I lose hope. I whine. I complain. I fail. I try my own way AGAIN & fail AGAIN. I am stubborn & lazy & can be prone to hard-heartedness.

I have to pray my way through a LOT because, if left up to me, I wouldn’t accomplish much at all of any real worth.

Quite Often I Can’t, But He Still CAN

But through my vast array of examples of my weaknesses, failures, insecurities, lack of faith, etc…. Each one is an opportunity to show you that while I quite often CAN’T… He CAN.

I am not the all-knowing, all-wise guru who is going to help positive-think your way into a better life.

I am a broken, stubborn, prone-to-fail HUMAN who strives to use my own weaknesses as a canvas of His grace painted across my life.

His CAN in light of my many CAN’Ts.

Can You Relate?

I don’t know if you can relate to any of this… or maybe you feel you have your life together far better than I do.

But whatever the case, don’t let Satan beat you into the ground for being what you are—human.

Instead, turn it around & say, “You’re right, Satan, I did fail. But God never does & that’s exactly why I need to remember that I need Him.”

And shine your light of HOPE in Christ by admitting your weaknesses & displaying His overpouring generous grace.

Always. 100%.

In light of our CAN’Ts, He CAN. Always. 100%.

So, I hope you find encouragement in the many failures & weaknesses & insecurities I am sure to face on this blog journey together with you.

And realize that just like you, I need Him, too. And He is always enough. Amen & Amen.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

After cleaning up the beaches of broken glass, the artisans now recreate the look & feel of sea glass by upcycling glass bottles from local hotels & restaurants that would otherwise be discarded, & tumble it with water & sand from the Red Sea until it is smooth & resembles the beautiful pieces found in nature. Sizes & colors may vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard & seen singing, laughing, & drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The King Who Deserves My All

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like, if I let Someone else have the reins.

If I stop tirelessly trying to have all control, & let Someone else rule my life.

I know that it’s foolish to believe I know better.

I know that it’s vanity to try to do better… Than the Sovereign One who reigns.

But still I find myself fighting to win out control & come out above even Him.

It’s silly really because I know He loves me so

And that His vast wisdom & power far surpasses my own…

He is limitless, infinite, & never lacking at all.

He is Creator, Redeemer, & Almighty God.

And who am I but a flea? A creation created by He.

And yet still, though my fight wages even today, knowing full well He deserves the throne…

He died for me. He loves me. And He patiently guides me when I offer my will to His way.

I don’t deserve the kind of love that my gracious Savior gives,

And yet He lavishes so, on my broken, weary, & rebellious soul…

Letting His love be the call that calls me to drop all control.

And fall safely & securely into the arms of my God. Resting in His full control.

I don’t obey because I have to, for He gives me the choice.

I don’t follow from guilt, for His grace set me free, through Christ’s willing payment on that wretched old tree.

I don’t bow because of force, for His gentle hand guides me.

He is patient & kind & loving & perfect.

He is gentle & strong & sovereign & wise.

He gives grace undeserving for His love covers all.

I walk humbly & slowly, & sometimes broken & stumbling…

To be wrapped in His warm loving arms.

For despite my wasteful life, He has arms open wide,

A banquet & celebration waiting for me,

If only I turn & come home.

To my all-powerful, loving, Savior who willingly died for me

And calls me to lay my crown at His feet

And let Him knowingly, wisely, & perfectly guide me

Into the potential woman He made me to be

He beckons for kindness, for love, & graciousness

For patience & self-control.

And above it all, a life bowed to Him,

The King Who deserves my all.

Coming Next Week

Check back on Monday morning EST for more regularly scheduled encouragement!

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Special Feature (every last Thursday of the month), in the form of this poem.

This poem came from my heart & encourages even me at the loving heart of our Lord God. I hope this poem encouraged you to fall into His arms & to begin or continue this wonderful journey of understanding more fully His deep love for you. It’s a beautiful adventure!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Artisans recreate the look and feel of sea glass by upcycling glass bottles from local hotels & restaurants that would otherwise be discarded, & tumble it with water & sand from the Red Sea until it is smooth & resembles the beautiful pieces found in nature. Sizes & colors may vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & seen drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. The glass is tumbled with water & sand from the Red Sea. Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely! 

This Month’s Special Feature Post

Once a month, on the last Thursday of each month, I will share with you my “Monthly Special Feature Post.” This month, I am sharing with you a short story that tells a tale of LOVE.

If you’re like me, you love a good love story. Well, this one has a twist. Read more to see what I mean….

************

A Love Story

She turned the heat up a smidge in her car as she glanced up at the building that would now be her place to visit every Sunday through Friday. Her job as the new church secretary started Monday, but since this was a church, she would now be attending their services, after saying goodbye to her beloved former church friends further South.

Her nerves were all scrunched up & racing everywhere at the same time as she looked back on the events that led her to this moment… this change.

It had been a crazy last eight years or so… with falling in love, to praying about marriage, to feeling that door slam in her face with unrest & fleeting peace about her desires to move forward with her relationship… to breaking his heart & crushing her own in the process.

Then, she had proceeded to breaking her friend’s heart, who had maybe fallen for her in the process of leaning on him too heavily for support through her own heartache.

It had all been a wreck, chaotic & painful. Even now, the memories felt somewhat sharp.

But she had worked to move on. She had read “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric & Leslie Ludy. She had been inspired, through that book, to not try to fashion a love story & to not tirelessly strive to hopefully be enough to lead a relationship to success in her own wisdom or efforts.

She had had the opportunity to be stuck in traffic for several hours with an aunt she had barely known, but who left a lasting impression of hope & wisdom & adventure that comes with trusting your singleness & your everything to God alone & letting Him fill you with the love your heart ached so badly for previously.

And even amongst her long talk with her aunt, she had held rewarding jobs, gone to & graduated from her dream college. She had trusted God through a relationship she hoped for, instead of leading it with flirtation, allowing God to take the lead, & therefore being rewarded with a friendship she could still claim today, after realizing it wasn’t God’s will for them.

These last eight years had grown her so much. She had a new perspective now. She no longer pined after the fantasy of living in a romance movie. She no longer clung to that idea as her only hope to feel worth & affection & love that she longed for so badly.

She felt more confident & secure than ever, even if she never married at all. And at a few years away from thirty, this was huge. She finally felt free to live her life for God & not rely on or strive after the love of a man ever again.

Sitting in her car, looking up at the building, she smiled & sighed a contented sigh… not one that she just happened to be feeling this morning, but a new peace that had been washed over her for several years, through the growth in her relationship of knowing God more & more… Of knowing that He really was enough to fill her heart & give her peaceful contentment in singleness. It was a gift that she treasured almost every single day.

She knew that God was the only one who saw her future. He was the only One who knew what pain or trials she would face & He was the only One who knew the right person with whom to ride it all out, even if that was just being her & God. God would take care of her. God was the only One who saw her future & He was the only One who knew what she needed for her future. He had this taken care of completely.

God knew her better than she knew herself. She could trust God, even in being “alone.”

So here she sat, glancing back up at this modest church building in Northern Virginia, on a crisp October Sunday morning—her new church & her new job. She didn’t know what the future held for her here, or what lessons she would learn, but she knew God did, & that was enough for her.

As she stepped out of her car, with purse & Bible in hand, she smiled.

Her new adventure awaits beyond those old wooden doors.

************

The church service was encouraging. The final song of the morning left her uplifted & hopeful of her time to come in this new place.

She had glanced around & noticed that the church was mainly comprised of white & gray-headed, friendly faces, as well as her longtime friend & his wife (also a longtime friend), who had recommended this job to her.

An announcement had been made about her joining the church staff & the church, in general, & friendly faces began to swarm around her with warm welcomes, hugs, & handshakes.

Then a young man.

He said something along the lines of, “We’re so happy to have you. Welcome to our church!” There was no hint of flirtation in his smile, just a genuine kindness, but her guard immediately shot up. She recognized quickly that he seemed to be the only other single young adult in the church & she did NOT want to become THAT girl to him—the only option for a date.

She plastered on a smile to cover her instant panic mode as she shifted nervously to shake his outstretched hand.

Being completely uninterested in starting any romantic relationships & not wanting to ever accidentally lead someone to believe otherwise (because she could not stand the idea of breaking someone’s heart again–or feeling that heartache herself, again), she felt it best to avoid him at all costs from here on out.

It was just safer that way.

************

After working at the church for several weeks, she left the auditorium laughing at whatever funny thing someone had just said, after church had just let out. She had a couple hours to kill before a special staff meeting began, so she decided to go plunker down in her cozy office chair to play Mahjong until then.

Striding confidently into the front office, toward her desk, she stopped abruptly upon realizing that the young man who had been so kind to her on her first Sunday was sitting in one of the chairs in her office (or really, the front office, near the parking lot).

He looked up at her & smiled politely.

A mental run-through of her options whooshed through her mind at lightning speed, Oh crap! Okay, he’s seen me, but maybe I can play it off & make an excuse for somewhere else I have to be… But crap, I can’t think of anywhere else I have to be & I just jolted to a stop in front of him, so it will be too obvious! I have to play this cool & just stride to my desk with a minimal polite nod & say a quick “hello” so I don’t give a bad impression, since I am staff here. I can do this, just go & nod & sit & look busy. Okay, go.

So, she did just that.

And he smiled back, quickly informing her that his ride was coming soon because he had carpooled to church this morning & then following with the fact that his ride had just gone to run a quick errand & would be returning soon to pick him up.

Hopefully very soon.

She smiled politely & said something lame, like, “Oh neat,” while shifting nervously in her chair, trying to look calm & really, really busy.

He didn’t take the hint, as he asked how she was doing & whether she was enjoying her new position here & whether she felt she was adjusting well.

She answered politely, but only enough to seem super busy while still remaining professional & just polite enough as she felt it necessary.

He then scooted his chair up to her desk so that they wouldn’t have to talk across the room.

Great. Just great.

She panicked a little now, nonchalantly pivoting her screen so he wouldn’t discover that her very important work was actually an unimportant game of Mahjong.

He asked about her life & what had brought her here, but only in a friendly, non-pushy or weird way. He talked about how he had just graduated from college as well & how he was back in town now, attending his parents’ church (his pending ride home) until he found somewhere with more young adults. He also told her that he felt a little alone in the church, friendship-wise, because there were so few his age (other than the married couple mentioned earlier). He had been praying about finding a new church, but felt God nudging him to stay, so he was giving it until December to decide (it was now late November).

She smiled politely, secretly wishing someone would come & break up their conversation. She really, really didn’t want him getting warmed up to her & thinking that she could be his new best friend & then potentially end up breaking his heart as well. She would NOT do that again. Her heart couldn’t handle it.

Despite her wall of determination, he said something randomly that made a burst of laughter erupt from her mouth & she struggled against the tears of laughing too hard.

Before she knew what was happening, the next ten minutes were spent suggesting to one another & then searching for funny videos on YouTube, watching them, & then erupting in laughter all over again.

Okay, he was nice, but she did not want to be friends with him. That always led to heartbreak, because her friendliness always got misinterpreted as romantic interest & confusion of feelings… & heartache almost always followed.

She needed an out for this conversation. Soon.

Her wish was granted as a car pulled into the lot. His parents. Finally.

He thanked her for the laughs, gathered his stuff, & headed out the door.

She had to admit, begrudgingly, that jollity still hung in the air a little as he left.

************

That night, as she lay sprawled across her still-made bed, browsing Facebook on her laptop, she noticed a little white notification bubble on Facebook.

It was a friend request…

From him….

… Oh no….

************

That accepted friend request (because really, how could she be supportive staff & be so heartless as to say ‘no’ to being a friend to someone who just recently expressed their need for more friendships?), but that accepted friend request inevitably led to daily chats about life & regular laughter.

His chats with her were becoming something that she would smile about when going about her day.

She purposely avoided any conversation that could be misinterpreted as flirting & even made comments to make her thoughts known about her disinterest, but it felt good to have a new friend, after recently moving back to Northern Virginia.

She was careful to indicate her intentions of avoiding any & all relationships, but in a non-assuming way (just to be sure). She wanted to be sure that he knew this was “Friend Zone City.” Only.

But the talks became regular & expected. And she couldn’t deny that she was glad for it.

… Until one momentous, heart-stopping moment.

As she logged on Facebook that night, a message indication bubble was waiting for her.

She clicked on it & regretted it the instant her eyes finished skimming the message.

He had asked her to dinner for the next evening. She panicked.

Crap! Crap crap crap crap CRAP!!!! What was happening?!? Hadn’t she been clear enough? Why was this happening to her?!? She had been careful, she had been SO, SOOO careful! She had even been close to being unnecessarily blunt about it!! Yes, they had shared prayers & laughter, but why?!?! Why was this happening?!?

After panic ebbed a tad, she started frantically praying about it, her eyes growing red & puffy with fear & panic & dread.

She decided on a solution….

She would pretend like she hadn’t read the message until Friday was already over & then she could brush it off as an “Oh, oops!” & smile & everything would be okay.

That would avoid hurting him & she could move on & hope he got the picture.

So that was the plan.

WAS the plan.

But as she was browsing Facebook, distracted & laughing at something else she had just read, another message bubble popped up.

She absentmindedly clicked on it, still chuckling.

It was him, asking a question about something or other. She answered without stopping to think about it, still caught up in the hilarity of the thing that had just brought her laughs.

Then it happened. He wrote her again…

“Oh great! You ARE online. I thought you weren’t because of the other message being unanswered. Did you get it?”

Her face flushed. The room suddenly got ten times smaller. Frustration at herself welled up inside her & threatened to overflow into an onslaught of verbally assaulting herself with accusations about having ONE job to keep herself clear of facing this exact situation, & then proceeded to HORRIBLY failing at that ONE job.

Great. Just great.

As she tried to play it off & play it cool, he wouldn’t let it go. He asked her again, right there.

“So, I had asked about dinner. Do you want to go with me to dinner tomorrow night?”

He was relentless!

Panic took over as she threw an adult temper tantrum in her room. Crying & begging God to remove this situation from her, not wanting to get in this kind of mess again. She laid there in defeat, agonizing over what to do next, to keep from hurting him… to keep from going down this road again.

This was exactly why she DIDN’T want guy friends. She did not want to break someone’s heart AGAIN.

She couldn’t handle it.

She considered quitting her job & going anywhere else.

She knew that wasn’t mature or the right answer. She kept praying.

God reminded her then of two things she had been learning & praying about over the last several years.

One, only God knew what she really needed. He saw past the surface. He saw past the present. He knew the potential that He created in each person. He saw her needs better than she knew them herself. She couldn’t judge accurately… only God could….

And two, she had promised God that because she had given up flirting or dating or anything that would lead a guy to her by her own efforts… she had also promised God that if someone had the guts to ask her out despite all of those things, she would trust that as a sign & agree to a single date with them.

And so here she was, at the brink of potentially doing the one thing she hated doing the most & had sworn that she would never risk doing again–potentially breaking a great guy’s heart by letting him feel something for her (or getting her own heart broken again, in the process).

She hoped, by one last hope, that she could deter him & that he would spare her of the fear of hurting him, so she made one last attempt at steering him away…

“So, who else is coming tomorrow?”

“Oh, just the two of us.”

Crap.

“Well, okay…. Um, I don’t have a lot of money right now, so maybe if we did something cheap….”

“Oh, well I am paying for us, so don’t worry about that.”

Double crap!

“Well, um, my planner is in the car, so I can check if I am free when I go out to get it in the morning… Hopefully I don’t forget, but I’ll try to remember.”

“That’s okay. I’ll pick you up at 7pm tomorrow.”

… … … …

“Um…. What? But I didn’t….”

“Alright, I have to head to bed. See you tomorrow night!”

And he’s gone…. And so was her chance to get out of this.

… What in the world just happened? How did that…? Why did he…? But she didn’t even….
What just happened?

She stared wide-eyed at her computer screen long after he signed off, her jaw dropped & her face flushed with shock.

What just happened…?

************

… To be continued.

Coming Next Week

***Check back on next month’s Special Feature Post (the last Thursday of each month) for Part 2 of “A Love Story.” I hope you have enjoyed it so far & I look forward to revealing the rest soon!***

Monday, I will continue with my regular posts of encouragement to you, so I will see you then!

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Special Feature Post!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Empowering women out of poverty in India & the Jordan!

Artisans recreate the look & feel of sea glass by upcycling glass bottles from local hotels & restaurants that would otherwise be discarded, & tumble it with water & sand from the Red Sea, until it is smooth & resembles the beautiful pieces found in on seashores. Sizes & colors may vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. Your purchase empowers them with confidence & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!