Hold Up

I was reminded, upon completing last week’s post about “Falling in Love, Heartbreak, & Learning to Trust God’s Plan,” that I neglected to mention a special pivotal moment of discovering who God made me to be, despite who I thought I was already.

Shaping Our Identity

Growing up, we all sort of grow to believe who we think we are, based on what our parents or others say about us or based upon stereotypes that the world presents to us.

We form our idea of “self” based on so many different internal & external factors: our desires, our fears, our insecurities, our successes, our failures, our wants & the way others view us or talk about us (among many other things).

We also create habits of self-protection to either save face or prevent a future hurt.

Insecure & Unsatisfied

For me, I grew up severely insecure about my appearance—so much so that I would shower with a t-shirt on & was afraid to see my face in the mirror because I was too afraid to look at myself.

I saw myself as unlovable & disgusting.

But, in my late teens/early twenties, I was determined not to stay stuck in a place of self-loathing because, like so many of us, I just desperately wanted to feel like I was worthy to be loved by someone.

I Had a Plan… A Plan That Backfired

So, instead of praying about it, I created a self-protection technique to help me get attention (which I thought was basically proof that I could be wanted & therefore, loved.

Besides deciding to shower in a t-shirt & avoid mirrors, I also self-protected by deciding to dress in a way that drew attention to my “assets” by wearing low-cut shirts & short shorts.

I thought attention to my body was the same as attention to me. (I was wrong.)

And, to top it off, I grew accustomed to speaking in such a way that way that each sentence was dripping with innuendos & flirtatious banter.

I taught myself how to make anything into a dirty joke because it proved effective in getting that attention I craved.

When I admitted to being a virgin at the time, people actually laughed heartily because I was so convincing to the contrary. I was proud of that (but a little hurt).

Getting Attention… But Something Felt Off

Perfecting the role I had assumed, I made more friends & got loads more attention.

I thought it was great. I enjoyed the power trip & the confidence that came with it.

But something just felt off.

The attention I was getting made me feel objectified more than loved or cared for. It made me feel icky.

Maintaining the Façade

I felt like I had to maintain this persona in order to feel worth anyone’s time or attention, but sometimes I just didn’t feel like I was being authentic… Like I was keeping up an act in order to stay appealing.

I guess that’s why my heart cries out toward actors & singers & other celebrities. Maintaining an air of perfect “I get along with EVERYbody ALL the time,” is just hard & quite frankly unattainable.

Everyone deserves an opportunity to just wear a messy bun, sweatpants, talk about things that aren’t as “appealing” to others, & just be real. No one is perfect. No one.

But I tried to be. I got pretty good at reading people & would adjust my personality or talk to make myself more appealing. I wanted to be liked & loved.

But like I said, it wore on me. I felt tired of keeping up this image.

I wanted to just slice through the fake efforts, just be myself & have that be enough for someone.

Who Am I If Not This?

But the biggest problem was, I didn’t know who I actually was without this personality I had invented.

I didn’t know how many friends I would have left if I didn’t keep up this image… this act.

I didn’t want to risk losing everyone… my circle… my net… my support.

I didn’t want to be alone.

I didn’t want to be unwanted.

So, I kept it up & dug in deeper to this image of confidence I portrayed to the world.

Unwanted Wanting

Guy friends ended up taking more “liberties” with me than I felt comfortable, but I was too worried about seeming insecure, about breaking the mirage I tried so hard to maintain.

And by the time it broke my heart enough (& with the supportive help of a good friend coaching me through it (Thank You, JD!), when I finally started standing up for myself… they got aggressive about it.

I was sexually assaulted by several friends, several times.

I was starting to realize that I no longer wanted so much attention.

I started to hate my persona.

I started to hate who I had become. Who I thought I was.

I felt so afraid because I didn’t know if that really was me, & if it wasn’t, I didn’t know who I was. I was afraid to lose everyone.

Finally… I Prayed

I was afraid that if I let the façade slip… if I faced depression again… if I didn’t try hard to be so loyal & friendly & a great listener & flirtatious & on & on & on, then any guy I dated would just walk away.

But I couldn’t keep the mask on forever.

So, I started to finally pray.

“God, I don’t know who I am. I don’t feel like I have any value. I feel unlovable. I don’t feel like I am special or desirable. I am afraid of being alone & unloved. I am afraid of being so ugly & not feeling like I have anything else to make anyone think twice about me. I don’t know who I am outside of this. This feels like me. It comes so naturally to me… but something about it hurts… Like I have to ALWAYS be this way in order to keep anyone around. God, I feel like this is me, but I guess You made me, so I guess if anyone knows who I am meant to be, it’s You. Show me YOUR potential for me. Show me YOUR design. Show me who YOU created me to be. And help me to trust You if I lose everything in the process. Please help me!!”

It was a scary & difficult prayer to pray, but I prayed it so many times I lost count.

I Wanted God’s Way… I Didn’t Want to Feel Used & Fake Anymore

I was desperate to feel like there was more to me than this fake girl who always had to make everyone happy 100% of the time & drew in people who took advantage of me just to feel like I had some worth.

God had to know. And I needed to know.

I needed to find me… His way… His plan… His design.

And guess what, Beautiful, He began to show me.

God Makes All Things New

Slowly, gradually, the fake flirtatious persona began to fade away as opportunities for dirty jokes would come up & just seem to be unappealing… I would just feel disgusted, like, “No, I am worth more than that. I don’t have to make people think about sex in order to be valued.”

It was a hard road & I ended up stepping away from several friendship circles, but I suddenly didn’t care so much.

I felt confident & free. I felt like I was finally myself (& I was finally okay with that!)

Who Do You Let Define YOU?

You see, it’s easy to let the world define us.

It’s easy to let our past define us.

It’s easy to let our inner cut-downs define us.

But we need to learn to let GOD define us.

God created you, Beautiful… & He doesn’t make mistakes.

God MADE You

Maybe you don’t measure up to what your parents, siblings, family, friends, or to what the world thinks you should be: prettier, smarter, thinner, more fashionable, more fit, more creative, less creative, blonder, darker, lighter, taller, shorter, curlier hair, straighter hair, etc….

But GOD MADE YOU.

We try to fashion ourselves into the niche we feel we belong based on the facts we believe about ourselves or what we believe others want from us…

But GOD MADE YOU.

Lean into Him. Ask Him. Ask Him to show you His design for you.

And don’t be satisfied to stop praying until you see Him begin to shape you & change you from the inside out… an inner confidence based on His design & your worth based on His love & care for you.

GOD MADE YOU.

Take Your Presuppositions & Pray About Them

And I can tell you from personal experience, that if you take your presuppositions & assumptions about who you think you are or who you think you have to be or are supposed to be… & you take that to Him in prayer, to trade it for HIS DESIGN instead… You will NOT be disappointed.

In fact, you will finally feel like YOU.

Imagine that!

Trust Him always, Darling. He loves you infinitely & He doesn’t make mistakes, no matter what anyone says about you (or no matter what you say to yourself—stop that inner self-hate dialogue!)

Trust Him. Always. Trust His DESIGN.

Shine Hope by being your beautiful, God-designed SELF!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain, this piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The Complexities of Wanting Love

“Love”, oh what a wonderful topic to think about….

Or maybe it just seems elusive to you, a wish you wish for, but you feel is an impossible reality.

Or maybe yet, you have been hurt by love & either fear it or just feel jaded by it.

Well, all of the above describe how I once felt about LOVE.

Cue the Meet Cute

And then, I met someone who helped me open my heart to all of the beauty & joy & adventure of love… & no, I’m not talking about my husband (I didn’t know him yet).

And no, I am also not talking about God.

I am talking about a guy I met soon after high school.

This is not a typical love story though, because while I felt I had met the boy of my dreams, we never had a happily ever after.

Afraid of Love

I grew up with an unhealthy fear of long-term relationships.

I assumed they all fail… that one side would inevitably lose interest or feel trapped in the relationship… that some fights or disagreements would end up being unsolvable… that rifts form & that lusting after others through porn, flirtation, or adultery would always happen eventually.

I assumed I was too difficult to be loved… not pretty enough…  too emotional… too much of a mess… too insecure… too much of a talker… too unlovable… & that eventually, any guy who married me would figure that all out & want out.

In other words, I assumed it was only a matter of time before my heart was crushed, if I gave my heart to love someone.

Because of this, I was afraid to love. I was afraid to get attached.

I prayed over relationships, wanting so badly for love to be a possible reality for me.

Oh, What a Feeling!

And then I met him… a guy who opened my heart.

I felt so in love. I cherished every long phone conversation & was elated at every chance to spend even a few moments with him.

I shared my heart, my deepest fears & hurts… & he did the same.

He was kind & caring & took care of me. He was a wonderful friend.

I wanted so badly to love him forever & to finally break free of the fear. I wanted to marry him.

I wanted to believe he could really love me forever.

And I am sure he would have.

I trusted him & cared for him more than I ever believed I could care about someone.

But I broke his heart.

I Thought I Knew

I was ready to go all in… to trust him with my heart & to start talking about marriage.

I was ready to follow him anywhere & leave my fears behind.

I was ready to beat the odds with the man I loved so much.

I wanted to marry him more than I had ever wanted anything.

But I broke his heart.

I kept praying about our relationship.

“God, please let me marry him! I love him so much! I trust him & care about him, even at his worst. He is so kind & so good to me. I can tell him anything & know that he cares for me. Please let me feel peace to push through the fear & marry him. I want to spend my life with him. He means so much to me. Please, please, please!”

But every time I sought God’s peace & blessing to spend my life with this wonderful friend, I felt a brick wall.

“Just Keep Praying,” I Thought… “Maybe God Will Change His Mind”

I couldn’t move past the feeling of unrest, an obvious, unsettled lack of peace in my heart.

So, I kept praying through the weeks & months we were together, unwilling to let go of the man I loved so much based on a current lack of peace.

I assumed the peace would come eventually, if I just held on & kept praying.

But it never came.

The dread started seeping in, as I realized that I didn’t feel God was ever going to be giving His blessing–His blessing, based on His omniscient, all-wise, over-all perspective.

But, God.…! Pleeeaase!

I hurt so many nights after a day well spend with the man I loved so much. I grieved the potential break up I felt God was edging me toward.

I felt as if God was gently trying to pry my fingers off of what I was clinging to so tightly… my desire to spend my life with the man I loved.

And I didn’t want to let Him.

I wanted to beg Him to change His mind.

I didn’t understand why God would let me love someone so much & not let me be with him. It felt so unfair.

No Matter the Reason, Yet I Will Trust Him

I knew this man didn’t trust in God, but I thought that could change as he got to know Him through our relationship.

I could feel my heart compromising my faith as I sought to be agreeable to the man I loved. But I thought I could overcome that.

But no matter God’s reasons, He was making it clear that my love & I were not the best match for each other, in some ways that I couldn’t even see myself.

And so, after many tears, much rebellious stalling (hoping to never have to leave him… hoping God would change His mind if I waited just a week longer), after seeing that God did not budge in allowing me peace to continue my relationship that I wanted so badly… I broke the heart of the man I loved.

Crushed… Shattered… Yet Not Hopeless

I knew he wouldn’t understand that I had gotten my answer from prayer, because he didn’t believe in God.

I didn’t want to explain why I had to do it, because I wanted him to trust God & not hate him.

And so, I let my love hate me instead.

And it crushed me… shattered me.

Collateral Damage

To make matters worse, I also leaned into a great friend for support, only to end up crushing his heart as well, when my love returned & I left my friend behind, not knowing his care for me was more romantic than friendship.

And when my love had returned, I was sure this time God would say yes this time around. But He didn’t… & I had to crush his heart & mine a second time.

I lost two people I cared for SO MUCH within a short time.

Not only did I have to walk away from someone I cared so strongly for, but I let him believe I didn’t love him as much as I did, in order to protect his potential future trust in God, the only One who could ever love him the way that he really needed.

Crawling Out from the Wreckage… Finding Hope

This heartbreak haunted me for about 5 years. I would check his Facebook once or twice a year just to relieve myself that he was happy & healthy & loved. I would cry when a movie reminded me of him (like Becoming Jane or Fever Pitch). I would wish that someday, God would bring us back together again… until he married someone else.

I have prayed for him consistently since then, that he would feel loved & cared for… that God would reach his heart & give him a kind of freedom & joy & peace like he’s never known. That God would guide him as a husband & father…. That he would come to Jesus & find lasting, sure hope.

I know now the story God had planned for me was my wonderful husband, Jamie, who loves me in a way that grows me as a human being & encourages me to lean into God with each trial, hurt, or obstacle. I know that God knew what He was doing because my husband & are so complementary in how we support each other. I wouldn’t trade my husband for the world!

But I didn’t know then.

I just had to blindly trust that if God was not going to give me peace, He had a reason.

God Always Knows… God Always Has a Plan… And He Loves Us Unconditionally

I lost someone I loved & I grieved for several years as if he had died, but God had a different plan for our lives & I know now that God knew what He was doing all along.

God always knows.

I know our hearts can be convincing, but God sees our full past, present, & future, with every facet & nuance & hidden trauma. He knows our God-given gifting & the plans He has built into our lives & our purpose.

He always knows best.

My love was real, but God knew better than me.

And I am so glad that I trusted God above my love for the man I loved so much.

Thankful I Listened

I will never stop praying for that man because of how much he once meant to me, but I know 100% that God had a better plan for the both of us & I am so thankful that I listened to God’s nudging on my heart to let go & trust God instead of my heart.

Always trust God before emotions, desires, & dreams… He always knows best.

He knows YOU best & He knows what is best for YOU. Trust Him first, always.

Shine hope, by bowing your will to His way & trusting Him with every step, every desire, every hurt, & every love. God’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Holly Necklace

Co-Founder Holly’s passion is to empower women to be all God created them to be & to live out their potential. Whether in the brothels of Asia to hometown USA, her desire is to see women live out their calling with pride & dignity. This piece is a reflection of the pride & skills a woman rescued from the brothels has when given the opportunity. A delicate piece, this golden/pink druzy necklace sparkles in the light.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

If… Then…

I have heard it asked, more times than I can count, that “if God allows people to go to Hell, how can He be a good God?”

They also tend to follow that question with: “If God isn’t good, I don’t want to follow Him.”

The above declaration is also often preceded with God allowing the presence of evil in this world, so let’s address both concerns today.

Who Are We Compared to Him?

First of all, let’s get the “If God doesn’t [fill in the blank], then I don’t want to follow or believe in Him” claim out of the way.

If God IS real & He DID create the world & everything in it. If God DOES have complete control, power & dominion over it all… I would think our opinion of His deserving our respect should not matter so much. In fact, to risk being blunt, our opinion would be completely irrelevant.

He doesn’t have to get our stamp of approval for Him to be real & for His righteous punishment for the rebellion of sin to be real.

He Is “I Am”

And reality check, He IS real, He DID create the world & everything in it. And He DOES have complete control, power, & dominion over it all.

I feel that it’s important to start there because we are not dealing with a Someone whom we can shape to our liking or decide whether or not they are real or deserving… That’s not up for debate.

The consequences are real.

But so is His grace.

How Is God Good?

So, let’s get to the “God is Good” part, in light of sin & the consequences of that sin (Hell) as a reality we must accept.

So maybe you decide God could possibly be real. Maybe you feel that little tug on your heart, beckoning you to accept His grace & be welcomed into His haven of love & comfort & hope, even on earth.

But maybe you’re stuck on sin… & on Hell.

Maybe you question God’s goodness & therefore doubt whether you can put your faith & trust into Someone you feel afraid of or defensive of in light of what you believe about yourself or the world.

Completely understandable. I have BEEN there.

Even after I got saved, I grappled with this for a while.

It’s scary.

But…

Digging Deeper

God IS Good, & so let us dig a bit deeper than the surface.

Oftentimes, we hate this idea about God because we either see our own good intentions or the good intentions of others, when thinking about our sin.

Or maybe we feel haunted by a decision we made or something we did & now we feel trapped under the wrath of God, afraid to accept it as a reality rather than an imagined construct that we can just dismiss & figuratively run away from (or try to).

But God’s wrath is real.

BUT, His grace is just as real & it covers your worst when you bow it all to Him.

We Choose to Choose

You see, if you caught my blog post a couple weeks ago, “Garden of Eden: What Was So Wrong About Eating That Fruit?” then you know that we were never intended to be in this mess of a world & life in the first place.

God’s intent was for us to stroll with Him in the perfect Garden of Eden without fears or worry, pain or strife, living in a trusting relationship with our Father God in control of everything in this world that would otherwise cause us lasting &/or immense pain.

But Adam & Eve rebelled, wanting to make those calls for themselves, thus dooming us with that same knowledge of good & evil, brought on by eating that fruit.

And not only that, but we choose to eat of that fruit every day, don’t we?–in the way that we live, choosing to supersede God’s will & way so that we can do it our own way (& inevitably screw something or someone up).

We Have the Knowledge, But Not the Infinite Wisdom

You see, we have the knowledge of good & evil, yes, but we DON’T have the capacity to see every ripple effect of every choice. We DON’T have full wisdom to see all pieces in play past, present, & future. We DON’T always know all the details involved or the subconscious trauma that our decisions cause ourselves & others simply by essentially shoving God out of the way to run things ourselves.

Even as a Christian, I am guilty of living like this, despite my intent, every single day.

It’s too easy to go based on habit, cultural norm, how I was raised, my own perceptions, my self-protection mode, good intentions, pride, fear, insecurities, doubts, uncertainties, etc., before stopping to realize I have done it again—I have acted without stopping to ask God for guidance on how to do it best.

No One Good But God

You see, we mess up every day.

No one can call themselves Good. Even Jesus said, “there is no one good, no not one” (paraphrase Romans 3:10-12) & that our “righteousness is like dirty rags.” (Isaiah 64:6)

Only God is good because He is perfection. He is lacking nothing.

He doesn’t make mistakes. He doesn’t act out of fear or hate or pride.

He just IS. He is the great I AM.

All God Asks…

And all God asks of us is to trust Him to do the hard stuff, to protect us from the painful things, & to guide us in the way that will bring us & others the most joy, fulfillment, & peace.

But we still rebel.

God Also Made a Way Back for Us

And THEN, we have the audacity to shake our fists at God for sin on this earth… for not allowing entrance into heaven for those who do not accept His grace offered through Jesus Christ.

Because He offers that grace to EVERYONE, without exception.

God Makes All Things New

Paul murdered countless Christians, BUT when he surrendered his wrongs to God, God restored him & gave him a new purpose (his originally designed purpose) to encourage countless more to find hope in Christ.

David was called a man after God’s own heart when he repented of his own guilt & shame of sleeping with another man’s wife & then sending that man to the frontlines so that her pregnancy would not be found out. But God redeemed him & used his life for wonderful things, washing his slate clean.

You see, the people written about in the Bible aren’t even “good” people.

They are REDEEMED people. Redeemed through the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ, for even them.

And for you.

He Gives Hope Despite What We Really Deserve

THAT is why we can easily call God our GOOD God, because despite the fact that the perfect life of trust & peace & joy in Him, that He intended for us to have was spit upon by Adam & Even eating that fruit… And EVEN THOUGH we make that same decision daily by bypassing His help to do it our own way… & even though we have pasts that make us cringe in the sight of God’s righteous judgment upon our sin….

God… Offers… GRACE.

HE made the way. He paid the price. He invites us back to Himself. He bridged the gap. He beckons us home.

Run to Grace

He forgives. He guides. He loves. He protects. He listens. He gives Himself as a Comforter through the Holy Spirit. He gives HIS grace to all who seek it, through Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf.

Don’t live defending your wrongs, in the sight of God Almighty. Run to Him.

Don’t live running from His righteous judgement. Run TO Him.

Don’t be content avoiding God in fear. Run to Him.

He Gives Grace & His Grace Is FREE

He is beside you, waiting with open arms to welcome you home.

No questions asked… No lecture awaiting your return… No crossed arms or glaring gaze.

Just GRACE.

Celebratory dancing & singing, twirling around with joy, hands reached out to pull you into a loving, joyous embrace, an “I’m just so glad you’re HOME!” type GRACE.

Let Him…

Let Him love you.

Let Him shower you with His goodness.

Ask Him to show you, personally, His love & forgiveness & hope & GRACE.

It is so, SO worth it, my friend!

Always Learning, Always Growing

Even I have to constantly grow & learn new ways to submit my ways to Him, so that I can experience His presence & goodness more thoroughly in my life.

I will forever need to grow, but His grace is once & for all.

I am forgiven. I am set free. I can look forward to heaven with full assurance that the grace of God covers even me.

And it covers you as well.

Will you answer the call?

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST for more weekly encouragement!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

(*Also Pictured: Grace Earrings, made in the Philippines!*)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The King Who Deserves My All

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like, if I let Someone else have the reins.

If I stop tirelessly trying to have all control, & let Someone else rule my life.

I know that it’s foolish to believe I know better.

I know that it’s vanity to try to do better… Than the Sovereign One who reigns.

But still I find myself fighting to win out control & come out above even Him.

It’s silly really because I know He loves me so

And that His vast wisdom & power far surpasses my own…

He is limitless, infinite, & never lacking at all.

He is Creator, Redeemer, & Almighty God.

And who am I but a flea? A creation created by He.

And yet still, though my fight wages even today, knowing full well He deserves the throne…

He died for me. He loves me. And He patiently guides me when I offer my will to His way.

I don’t deserve the kind of love that my gracious Savior gives,

And yet He lavishes so, on my broken, weary, & rebellious soul…

Letting His love be the call that calls me to drop all control.

And fall safely & securely into the arms of my God. Resting in His full control.

I don’t obey because I have to, for He gives me the choice.

I don’t follow from guilt, for His grace set me free, through Christ’s willing payment on that wretched old tree.

I don’t bow because of force, for His gentle hand guides me.

He is patient & kind & loving & perfect.

He is gentle & strong & sovereign & wise.

He gives grace undeserving for His love covers all.

I walk humbly & slowly, & sometimes broken & stumbling…

To be wrapped in His warm loving arms.

For despite my wasteful life, He has arms open wide,

A banquet & celebration waiting for me,

If only I turn & come home.

To my all-powerful, loving, Savior who willingly died for me

And calls me to lay my crown at His feet

And let Him knowingly, wisely, & perfectly guide me

Into the potential woman He made me to be

He beckons for kindness, for love, & graciousness

For patience & self-control.

And above it all, a life bowed to Him,

The King Who deserves my all.

Coming Next Week

Check back on Monday morning EST for more regularly scheduled encouragement!

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Special Feature (every last Thursday of the month), in the form of this poem.

This poem came from my heart & encourages even me at the loving heart of our Lord God. I hope this poem encouraged you to fall into His arms & to begin or continue this wonderful journey of understanding more fully His deep love for you. It’s a beautiful adventure!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Artisans recreate the look and feel of sea glass by upcycling glass bottles from local hotels & restaurants that would otherwise be discarded, & tumble it with water & sand from the Red Sea until it is smooth & resembles the beautiful pieces found in nature. Sizes & colors may vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & seen drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. The glass is tumbled with water & sand from the Red Sea. Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely! 

Why Is This So Hard for Me?

This one is a toughy, for sure. I would dare say it is tough even for ministry professions—Work first or God first?

Why is this so tough?

Because our roles & responsibilities demand our attention, whether or not we even believe in or acknowledge God.

Working Hard “for God” Is Not the Same As Putting God First

So, why should we & how can we possibly put God first then? And I am not talking about just praying at mealtime & making church attendance a priority… how do we place Him above everything else in our lives?

Even the retelling in the Bible about Mary & her sister Martha. Martha was working hard to be a good hostess to JESUS. How much more important of work could there be?

And yet, her sister, Mary, was praised for her decision to skip the work & rest at Jesus’ feet, absorbing His teaching & friendship.

The story of Mary & Martha is a prime example of why this is a difficult balance even for ministry workers. We can tend to try to “do all the things” “for God” while not actually making HIM come first in our lives.

Isn’t It Just “One More Thing” To Do?

But even for us “regular” people, how can we consider putting anything above work when work doesn’t ever stop?

Kids (& spouses/relationships) demand attention & care.

Work has deadlines & demands.

Bodies demand sustenance & hygiene.

Home requires chores & upkeep.

So, how can we possibly consider putting God before all of that? How can that even be an expectation? How are we expected to make time for anything else?

Short Answer? God.

Well, here’s the relief… God helps us.

Hear me out. When we put Him first, He helps us fit the other pieces together.

He sees every piece of our lives. He sees the things that need more time & those that need to be let go. He has the power to help run our lives more efficiently & peacefully than we could ever hope to imagine through our own efforts.

We tend to think, even subconsciously, “If I have tried everything under the sun & nothing has worked, there is certainly nothing GOD can do for me!” Wrong.

Consider this fact: God does not exhaust His resources… EVER.

He Is Infinite & Willing to Help

I heard it said, while I was attending Liberty University (my alma mater-woohoo!), that “no matter how or what words you use to describe God, you are ALWAYS putting Him in a box.”

He is INFINITE. God thinks & operates outside of our understanding & abilities. His ways are above our ways… His thoughts above our thoughts.

So, if we ask for His help, it doesn’t diminish Him at all when He helps us.

Why Wait Until It All Crashes Down?

So often we wait until our life is falling apart at the seams before we cry out to Him for help (see pretty much every story in the Bible & every story of my life!), but He wants His help to be a daily, continual blessing in our lives.

He wants that relationship with us. He wants to carry our burdens, to give us strength & wisdom & peace & power to live in a way that honors Him & I dare say, blesses us.

Not Easy, But Oh So Much Better!

This doesn’t mean that life will suddenly be easy & we will get everything we want… reality check, we live in a broken world & we don’t always know what is best for ourselves anyway. On this side of heaven, life will NEVER be perfect… but God can & WILL help as we seek to live for Him.

So, when we put anything else before Him, we are attempting to lift the car-strain of life while Someone stronger than Superman waits by to help if we but ask.

It’s embarrassing to admit how often I “look up at Him standing beside me” & shout, “No, I got this! I don’t need Your help yet… I just have to try it this way next time!” Sigh.

He Enjoys Helping Us

God first, ALWAYS. Not because we feel like God will condemn us & point fingers at & shame us if we don’t (He doesn’t do that)… but because we greatly handicap our life if we don’t.

It’s like insisting we drag our bodies through life when a wheelchair is right alongside us.

It’s like dying of thirst while someone beside us is constantly offering us a drink, or starving while they offer food.

It’s like working in our own strength while He offers us His. (Actually, that’s EXACTLY what we’re doing!)

“Darling One, Lean Into Me”

When God asks us to obey Him, He doesn’t say, “Go ahead & add it to the list, honey,” but rather, “Darling one, lean into me & I will give you the strength, ability, patience, & power to do all that I ask… & the wisdom & peace to know what to let go of.”

He is like having a Personal Assistant who also happens to be the Owner & Creator of the company. He not only made us & rules everything, but He also offers to walk alongside us & help us along the way.

Such a GRACIOUS & LOVING God!!!

Let God Be First Priority

So, if you are feeling exhausted & ready to just give up or to run away from it all, I urge you to stop where you are… close your eyes… breathe deeply in & out… & pray to ask God for His wisdom, His direction, His patience, His peace, His power, & His strength, to live according to His will & His way.

It is 100% ALWAYS the best option. ALWAYS. 100%. (Did I emphasize that enough? I know I will probably need this reminder AGAIN by the end of the day… Anyone else?)

He is able, Darling One & He is waiting with open arms to help ease the burden & set you on the right path that will not only lean into your purpose, but will also be for your good.

He knows you best. He knows what He’s doing. He knows everything.

Rest in that.

Let Him run your life His way, in His direction, with & through His power.

But How?

How do you put God first, then? Realistically? Daily? Moment-by moment?

A lot of it is PRAYER. Talking to God. Asking for His insight, wisdom, & help throughout each & every day.

A lot of it is TRUST. Taking the trust away from yourself & putting it with God. His way, His wisdom, His strength, His patience, His courage, His love, His understanding, His knowledge, His sovereignty.

Put God first by stepping aside & letting God work His will in your life, through His power.

Let go of the need for control & the hamster wheel of life & trust HIM to know what He’s doing with your life instead & do whatever it takes to let Him be the boss & to let Him call the shots for your life.

He’s worth it. Every time.

God First… Anything else… Second.

Shine Hope, Lovely… by leaning into Him, resting in Him, & letting Him lead your life for His purposes, in/through His strength.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST for some more encouragement from one imperfect gal to another & “Join My Tribe” (subscribe), so you never miss a thing!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Artisans recreate the look & feel of sea glass by upcycling glass bottles from local hotels & restaurants that would otherwise be discarded, & tumble it with water & sand from the Red Sea until it is smooth & resembles the beautiful pieces found in nature. Sizes & colors may vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & seen drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

(*Also pictured: Truth Earrings from the Philippines! & my kitty Cisco-not for sale, haha.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Still a Work in Progress

First, I want to make sure that I clarify something up front… I am NOT writing this because I have got this practice of graciousness down & nor am I confident in consistently getting it right in my attempts to be gracious.

I write to you today as a fellow struggler in this area of graciousness. I write this as someone who needs these reminders just as much as anyone else.

I write this because God makes a way, even when it feels IMPOSSIBLE in our own efforts.

Feeling the Sting

So, graciousness… I can guess, pretty confidently, that I am not the only one who struggles in this area, am I right?

Whether you have felt the sting in your own heart, wanting to prevent showing any sign of grace because of a hurt done to you, or whether you have made a mistake, (even a one time slip up), only to be met with the opposite of graciousness… It affects us all.

And it hurts. A LOT.

Loving Our Enemies (Or People Who Hurt Us) Isn’t Easy!

But God asks us to be gracious to people who have hurt us & even asks us to love & pray for our ENEMIES & to leave justice in God’s able hands.

But that is so hard to do, isn’t it?

Even though, as I pray over & think over this topic, I am reminded of what Jesus suffered through for our sakes (even for those who screamed for His death on the cross), I still found myself wanting justice & for wrongs being righted before I could submit to any form of graciousness.

Right in the Hurt

But God doesn’t want us to withhold grace until it feels deserved. (That sort of defeats the idea of it being considered grace, doesn’t it?)

He wants us to offer grace right in the midst of the hurt.

Because not only did He do the same for us… “For God demonstrates His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us…” (Romans 5:8) But God knows that He has the ability to fill the hole that the hurt left AND He has the ability to strengthen us to love as He loves, even when we don’t have it in ourselves to love that way. He IS SUFFICIENT. His GRACE is sufficient.

But How?!?

But how in the world do we love someone & extend grace to someone who clearly doesn’t deserve it?

Again, I might interject here that Christ knows a little something about that very thing…. But, it’s easy to think, “But… He’s God, so obviously He has more power to overcome that….” More on this in a minute.

The obvious answer is to pray & ask God to calm your heart & soothe the wound the other person inflicted. And to ask Him to right your perspective to love them the way He loves them. And to ask for HIS POWER to help us in being gracious because it feels so impossible to do so in our own strength.

Righting Our Perspective of HIM

But here is the other thing to try.

Not only should we pray for God’s perspective on how to love that other person who is hurting us & to extend grace to them…

But we should ask God to right our perspective about HIM.

The Hurts, Well They HURT!

I was recently faced with a situation that made graciousness seem pretty impossible. I wanted to defend myself & I wanted to resolve the unsettled, unresolved conflict that the other person seemed intent on leaving unresolved, after hurting my heart significantly.

I wanted to avoid that person. I wanted to gossip (but didn’t). I wanted to hide & never try again, afraid of being met with such rejection again.

And that’s what God used to show me the piece of the puzzle that prevented me from extending grace to that person…

Who Do I Live to Please?

I realized that their words were hurting me so much because I was making that person’s opinion of me a god in my life, hinging my emotions, future actions, & view of myself all on their words & opinions.

I was taking God out of His place as my Lord, & placing up there the words of that other person.

As if, if they were not happy with me, then I was “obviously” a failure & should doubt every future action unless it was met with their nod of approval.

I was living to please them, instead of God, & when that didn’t work, everything seemed to fall apart from there.

You see, God did not create me to please everyone. To love them, yes, but not to fashion my life around their whims or opinions.

Jesus Fixed His Eyes on God & Remained Gracious to the End

And that is where I started to find the road back to peace & forgiveness & graciousness.

Although Jesus came to die for the sins of mankind, the people who once praised & followed Him were eventually the ones screaming, “Crucify Him!!”

Talk about OUCH.

But Jesus knew Who God was, & it was not that crowd.

He came to serve God & to live for God’s purposes.

So, when those people screamed to have Him killed, although it hurt His heart, He continued fixing His eyes on God’s will.

Praise Is Nice, As Long As We Don’t Hinge Our Worth Or Actions on It

The praise of others feels nice & reassuring, but when we compromise our efforts of living to please God in order to maintain that praise, we miss the mark & end up in a scramble to keep that praise coming in order to feel secure.

I will make mistakes, undoubtedly. (I am pretty sure it’s a daily occurrence for me!) But as long as I do my best, through reliance on help from God, I cannot let the opinions or words of others become a god in my life.

I need to brush it off & keep my eyes focused on Him.

People are allowed their opinions, but His is the ONLY one that matters. EVER.

And because of that truth, I can learn to be gracious, in making God’s favor my aim.

My Prayer:

Lord God,

It hurts. I hate when others think so low of me, even when I am doing my best. But that is all I can do—my best. Help me to keep my eyes on You & on pleasing You, versus pleasing the fickle hearts & limited understanding that all of us humans possess. Lord, if I focus on making everyone happy & pleased with me, I will be tossed to & fro every day, dizzy from disappointing this person or that. But, God, You have a plan for me. You know where You want me & why. Help me to stay fixed on You in the midst of the arrows that race past me, threatening to disable me & to drown out my light for You. You are KING over all the earth. Help me to make You King in my life & help me to live for You & to be gracious to others. Amen.

Leaning into God When It Hurts

And when we live like that, showing graciousness when it is undeserved, we undoubtedly will shine a light for Him, because human nature screams self-protection & defensiveness & bitterness & even revenge… But God has the strength & power to help us rise above it all, if only we will lean into Him instead of trying to fight our way through it on our own.

Pray for a perspective to love them like God loves them… & pray for a perspective to make God Lord of your life versus the opinions of other humans like you.

Shine Hope, Lovely.

Coming Next Week

Join me each Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, from imperfect me! See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Petal Necklace

This cubic zirconia floral pendant hangs from an antique golden chain & pairs perfectly with the Petal Stud Earrings.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

April Special Feature

For this month’s Special Feature post, (offered every last Thursday of the month), I would like to share an answer to a question & a poem for reflection. I hope they point you to Jesus Christ as the source of your hope & love & peace & joy & strength & grace, offered freely through faith in Him.

Only He can fully satisfy that longing in your soul that can’t seem to be quenched. Love you, Lovely!

He Really Is

Is God’s grace really enough?
One Word: Yes.

Your Great Love (How Greatly Jesus Loves Us)

It makes no sense…
Your great love for me.

How can it be…
That a sinner like me
Can be counted worthy
Of a love like Yours?

Not of my own merit
Not of my own goodness
Not of my own efforts
Nothing can earn Your love.

You offer it freely
No strings attached
You loved me before birth
And You will love me forevermore

You found me in the darkness,
Lost, scared, & alone,
But You cleared out the fog
And Your love lit up my life.

When all hope felt lost,
When I had all but given up,
You wrapped me in Your love
And Your love filled up my soul

Each day, a new chance,
Every prayer of faith…
Every breath of praise…
To know Your great love for me.

You saw my past
You knew my sin
And yet Your grace still saved me
Through Your endless love for me

Guilt & shame I deserved
Hell called me to death
But You paid my debt
And Your love, it reconciled

And that same love,
You offer freely to all
That same great love
That You show with Your grace

A prayer away…
You wait to wash our sin away
A simple prayer of faith in You
For infinite grace wrapped up in Your great love for us

Your love for us…
It makes no sense.
But Lord, how grateful I am
For Your great love.

I will sing it from the rooftops.
I will share it with all I know.
The great love You have for me,
You have for all the world around.

Big or small, short or tall,
Every color shade imaginable…
Wealthy or poor, rebellious or kind,
You love us all just the same.

*Grace is waiting for you
Will you accept it in faith?
Jesus is waiting with grace
To show you His great love for you, too!*

-Michelle Hyde

Coming Next Week

Join me on Monday morning EST for some regularly scheduled encouragement!

Love you!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Fearless Earrings

Our artisans in Nepal took brass & oxidized it to create this beautiful black hue, forming these gold and black statement earrings.

Artisan Information:

In many areas of Nepal, women are not considered equal to men & are vulnerable to sex trafficking. But the women making this product are earning an income & learning entrepreneurship, giving them confidence to break social norms! With every purchase, these women are provided with education, seminars on health, nutrition & also on women’s rights. Your purchase will create change for generations of women to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Nepal!

(*Also shown: Warrior Cuff, empowering women out of poverty in India!*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The Basics

A few weeks ago, we talked about prayer & what it actually accomplishes. (Check it out here.) But today, I wanted to take it a step further to talk about one of the greatest prayers you can pray.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with prayer, prayer is simply talking to God.

There is no magic formula to pray. God hears you when you talk with Him, whether out loud or in your heart.

To start praying, simply share your heart with God. As you learn more about His promises in the Bible, you can learn to pray more effectively, because you will learn His heart & what He has promised us.

Sometimes, we just need to be reminded that, “Oh yeah, God’s Word says He will __________________.” And we can pray & ask God to fulfill that promise in that moment, putting our focus more on the power of God & His promises than of the situation we are currently facing.

Digging Deeper

Maybe one week I will go into some of the promises of God that we can claim in prayer, but for today, I wanted to focus on one specific prayer that can change your entire life (without exaggeration!)

That prayer is to ask God to teach you to know & love God more.

You see, everything stems out of our love for God.

God spends many chapters in the Bible telling us that love is the key. Loving Him with all of our heart & mind & soul & strength… And loving others as ourselves… are the two greatest commandments, according to God.

Everything else that He asks of us will flow from obeying those two greatest commands to love Him first & to love others.

Looking Around Versus Bowing Down & Looking Up

Too often, our focus is distracted by the battle we are facing. And while it is a wonderful & worthy habit to pray for victory in those daily battles, we need to learn the even greater habit of resting in the power of God moment by moment.

You see, we can expend much energy fighting our daily battles, whether it be lack of sleep, temptations, grumpy kids, hurting marriage, tough job, etc.

And we need to be giving those trials up to God, trusting in His power, grace, & peace to sustain us in the trenches of life.

But, sometimes, we need to stop, close our eyes, & rest in WHO GOD IS.

Our mind can get so overwhelmed by the pressures of the world that we sometimes forget to look up, so to speak.

Lean Into Who God Is

He is Almighty God. He is Everlasting Father. He is Prince of Peace. He is Lord of lords, King of kings. He is the First & the Last. He is Creator. He is our Savior & Redeemer. He is our Intercessor. He is GOD.

Lean into that. Lean into HIM.

While our battles exist & while praying through them is always necessary for true victory, do not neglect the moments of just kneeling at His feet(figuratively) & just bowing your heart before the Almighty God, letting HIM be GOD in your heart, mind, soul, & strength.

The More You Know…

Learn to love Him with everything you have & are.

Pray over this fervently, passionately, diligently, continually!

As you begin to know Him more, through reading & studying His Word, the Bible… & as you learn to discern His Word through a growing relationship with Him, through prayer, your love for Him will blossom.

It is inevitable.

The Greatest Love Story

The Bible is a Love Story written to us. A story of our failures, weaknesses, insecurities, fears, mistakes… And of His undying, passionate, fierce love for us no matter the circumstances, no matter our supposed worth, no matter our failures. No matter what.

He LOVES you.

Always.

Forever.

No. Matter. What.

And as His Word tells us, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

Not after we clean up our act. Not after we prove our worthiness. Notafter we pay Him back for every wrong we’ve done.

While we were still sinners….

It Was a Once & For All Kind of Deal

He died FOR us. For OUR payment. For OUR debt. HE died. FOR us.

You see, the more you study God’s Word, the more you begin see His love poured over the pages of history.

And the more you see His love, the more you tend to fall in love with Him right back.

And the more you fall in love with Him & His love for you, the more you want to know Him.

And the more you learn to know & love God, the more His love flows out of your heart & into the lives of others.

You see, I am not perfect & will never ever be (before heaven), but I am redeemed. My debt is paid for IN FULL.

I repented. I admitted God was right & I was wrong. I asked for forgiveness.

And He forgave without a moment’s hesitation.

And if you haven’t had that moment before God, He is waiting with open arms to do the same for you, Darling One.

Not Mine, But His Goodness in Me

Any good you see in me is not me, it’s Him. He trades my inadequacies for His power & love & grace.

As I learn to pour more of myself into Him, resting in His love & power & truth & grace, He takes my pride, insecurities, selfishness, & every other ugly part & He renews me for His glory.

The more I let go of, in the areas of my weaknesses, fears, & pride, the more He strengthens, renews, & redeems those areas of my life for His glory & for the good of myself & others around me.

Pray… And Don’t Stop Praying

So, pray.

Ask God to help you to know & love Him more. And don’t stop praying it. Don’t give up on that prayer & goal, because out of that flows the fountain of LIFE.

Let His love pour over you. Immerse yourself in His Word sent down to us (the Bible). And talk to Him—pray.

Don’t be content trying to serve God simply out of duty. And don’t avoid serving God because it just feels like duty.

Don’t exhaust yourself trying to be perfect for God on your own & in your own strength.

Pray & ask God to show you how to know & love Him more with each passing day.

Let Him In

Because as He shapes your heart, in love & truth, your life will begin to be an overflow from a heart focused on the grace & love & peace & power of God.

Let Him in. Let Him permeate your life in Love. Let your mind be renewed by His Truth.

And let His grace rule in your hearts & minds as you learn to live for His Kingdom & for the redemption of the world.

Live to love Him. Live to know Him.

And Shine HOPE, Lovely.

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning EST for our next dose of encouragement.

Feel free to send me a message if something has spoken to your heart in a special way! I love hearing from you!!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you!<3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Artisans recreate the look & feel of sea glass by upcycling glass bottles from local hotels & restaurants that would otherwise be discarded, & they then tumble that glass with water & sand from the Red Sea until it is smooth. Sizes & colors may vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Jordan!

(*Also pictured: Truth Earrings from the Philippines!)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Saying All the Right Things

Growing up in a Christian home, I learned early how to speak faith, but it wasn’t until much later that I realized I didn’t really live like I believed what I was saying.

Have you ever felt that way?

It’s easy to repeat back what has been poured into us, but it’s a little more challenging to stop & put into practice those truths that we take for granted knowing all our lives.

Head Knowledge Vs. Taking Action

I can know with a head knowledge, the things of the Bible, but until I start asking God how I can live like they are true, I will not really benefit from knowing the truths I know.

You see, God’s Word is not meant to be used for us to just sound righteous… It is meant to show us how to LIVE righteously.

And to be clear, we are not meant to just do all of the “right” things, but to trust God & His Word so much that we are willing to live a life obedient to His Word.

Not with Eyeservice

God mentions this sort of thing in the Bible where it says, “not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.”

God doesn’t ask us to just look like good people on the outside.

He also doesn’t ask us to try to be good on our own, but as an outpouring of His goodness in our lives. We have to be actively trusting Him for Him to teach us & guide us in righteousness.

Not Natural, But Possible!

This of course does not come naturally to us. From birth, we feel the need to look out for ourselves & have life revolve around our needs. We may even feel cheated if life does not go our way. And sometimes we even feel panicked when life is out of our perceived control (hint, it’s never really in our control!)

Surrendering to God’s way is definitely not the easy way, but it is the best way.

The Best Way

And I don’t say this as a, “look what a great Christian I am to say that we should obviously believe God’s way is the best!” I am not even saying that because I always trust in it immediately above my own will/way.

No, I am saying His way is the best way because it simply is, whether we believe it or not.

I may not always understand it or want to obey it, but God is God & I am not.

His ways are higher than mine.

He Sees It ALL

We see the world in such a limited view, but He sees the vastness of time from beginning to end, how every piece fits together.

He sees the consequences of every mistaken or selfish choice & the ripples it creates.

He KNOWS.

I may THINK I know, but He KNOWS.

And because He knows, He knows that His way is best, whether we see it or not.

I Surrender All… One Piece at a Time

And the more of our life that we choose to surrender to His way, the more we see the benefits of trusting His way above our own.

One benefit of being a Christian is the opportunity to know God & to believe what He says.

But as I said, this isn’t a natural or instantaneous result of knowing Christ.

It comes with practice.

Every piece of our life that we choose to lay before His feet, exchanging our way for His, our eyes are opened to the beauty of His truth.

Don’t Just Talk the Talk, Learn to Trust & Live It

You see, it’s easy to talk like we believe & rehash things we learn, but until we start laying down our hearts & lives to doing & living out the truth of God’s Word, we will never see the benefits that come from trusting Him.

He doesn’t just want robots who blindly do whatever He says because He is God.

He doesn’t want slaves living a life of misery & subjection to Him as a harsh ruler.

He doesn’t aim to guilt or shame us into serving Him.

Rather, He calls us to a life of trust & action through His love for us. His fervent, lavish, never-ending love for us.

To Know & Love God MORE

Beth Moore stated in her study, “Breaking Free,” that one of the most life-changing things she has ever prayed regularly was that God help her to know & love Him more.

This is my prayer for us today, that we ask Him to teach us how to know & love Him more.

He doesn’t just want you to submit your life to Him because He has that right as King over all, but because you trust His love for you. You can obey because you can trust that His love for you is pure & His ways are good.

God IS love. It is not stated just as WHAT God does, to love us, but as a definition of WHO He is. He IS love.

That is how we can willingly surrender our all to Him & His ways, because we can trust His deep love for us.

Let His Love Wash Over Everything Else

So, take a moment to pause right now. Close your eyes. Take several slow, deep breaths in & out. And ask Him to teach you how to know & love Him more. Ask Him to help you see & trust His lavish love for you.

The more you know God, the more you will see His love for you, which will make your love for Him grow. And the more your love for Him grows, the more you will want to know Him.

Ask Him

Ask Him to help you to trust Him & to therefore obey Him out of your love for Him, because He first loved you.

If you don’t know how to live out your faith or how to live the commands that God asks in His Word, start by asking God to help you know & love Him more, because the more you know Him, the more you will love Him, leading to a willingness to give your all to His love.

Let His love rule your hearts & minds as you learn to trust & obey His truth.

Shine Hope. Live for His love. PRAY.

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning EST for some more encouragement. Love you!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India & Haiti!

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. Flash-plated posts.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant & these women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education and healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also pictured: Jubilee Necklace & Jubilee Bracelet Set from Haiti!)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Easy Isn’t Always Best

We all appreciate a good laugh, but should those laughs be at the expense of the church?

I know that it is easy for us sometimes to see the way it *should* be, biblically, & take jabs at the obvious differences we see in many churches across America.

Satire is a striking way to contrast these differences that we recognize & since we cannot address every church who is a culprit of specific misrepresentations of Christ, it can be tempting to try a light-hearted approach to speak out, such as satire.

But is this the best approach?

Imperfect, But Loved by God

Is the Church (in general) perfect? By all means, no. The Church is made up of flawed human beings. As we surrender certain areas of our lives for God to perfect & grow, God works in us, but we do not become perfect just because we have submitted ourselves to Him.

Will the Church ever be perfect? Only when we reach heaven.

Is it frustrating to have the imperfections of the Church on display for every passerby who may not know the difference of what should be, according to God’s Word, the Bible? YES!

But that does not necessarily mean we should turn to poking jabs at the church.

His Bride

Let’s look at it in this light… The Church (as a whole—aka all Christians) is considered the “Bride of Christ.”

On Earth, Christ’s Bride, the Church, is imperfect… but the blood of Christ has redeemed her & has made her whole & new. His blood covers her offenses. Christ died to redeem her life.

So how do you think it feels for Christ to see His bride mocked openly to the general public?

Easy But Not Necessarily Right

Yes, I know this may seem like I just don’t know how to take a joke, but even though I have had a laugh at some of the satirical sites’ posts, the laugh is followed quickly by a cringe of regret.

Sometimes it is easy to laugh at a situation, like when someone makes a big, obvious mistake, but that does not mean we necessarily should be laughing at it, for the sake of whose feelings it might hurt.

We Are His-Imperfections & All

We may not understand exactly what it means, but God describes Himself as the Godhead, three in one–God the Father, God the Son, & the Holy Spirit.

God loves His children. We, as Christians, are called God’s dear children. He sees our imperfections. He knows our weaknesses & mistakes. He feels the hurt of our rebellions. And yet, He still sent Christ to die for us.

Christ loves His Bride. We, as part of the Church, are called His bride. He also sees our imperfections. He knows our weaknesses & mistakes. He personally feels the hurt of our rebellions. And yet, He still willingly laid down His life to redeem us.

The Holy Spirit was sent to us after Christ rose from the dead & conquered both sin & death, to guide & comfort us. The Holy Spirit does not force perfection on us immediately. He does not demand the abolishment of every imperfection, weakness, mistake, & rebellion in exchange for the grace gifted by Christ. But, He still continues to gently, patiently guide & lovingly care for us along the way.

Edify & Lift Others Up Where Others Tear Down

You see, we as: children of God, the bride of Christ, & guided by the Holy Spirit, will never be perfect on this side of heaven, but God fiercely loves us & works in & through us with His grace, patience, & long-suffering ALL THE SAME.

God, three in one, IS love.

Instead of focusing on everything wrong in the Church, even if mocking how wrong it is, we should be looking to edify, teach, & lead in Truth & Love.

Instead of preaching to the world everything about the modern church which is incorrect, let us live a demonstration of what God says is correct.

Shine a Light – A Beacon of HOPE

Because, you see, aside from hurting God’s heart, the other danger in using the church as the focus of satirical jokes/mockery is the impact it can have on the Church’s testimony of Christ to this lost & bleeding world.

If the world sees us mocking ourselves, how can they be expected to take us seriously?

We may see the difference between should-be & “is”, but all they see are jokes about what is wrong with Church.

We may see the contrast between God’s definition of the Church & where many churches fall short, but the world only sees our wrongs, mistakes, & inconsistences.

How can we expect the world to trust our testimony, our witness of God’s Truth, Love, & life-changing Grace, if we ourselves mock the Church?

Be a Conduit for Change

But you’re right, we should take a stand. We should speak up. When we see errors in the church, we need to do our part to point the Church into God’s will & Truth.

So how do we do that, if not satire?

Here are some ideas that come to mind.

1. Pray & ask God for wisdom.

Sometimes we’re actually the one in the wrong, but pride has clouded our judgement. It’s important to stop & ask God for His clarification & wisdom before we act on what could be our mistake. A simple misunderstanding on our part can cause embarrassment if we don’t take it to God in prayer first!

Other times, we are correct in our assessment, but we can tend to jump into it with our own imperfect wisdom & ideas while neglecting to take a moment & ask God how to handle the situation in a way that best honors Him & will most effectively correct the situation.

We need to make sure we not only try to help solve the problem, but that we handle it in a gracious, loving way that edifies those involved while also giving honor & glory to God. (*This probably means avoiding blasting your frustrations on social media.)

2. Send an email to the church pastor with your concerns, or schedule a time to talk to him.

It’s always a good idea to go to your pastor one-on-one through email or by scheduling a meeting to discuss your concerns, rather than spreading dissension in the church with your frustrations.

It could turn out to be a misunderstanding, or it could provide opportunity for the pastor’s heart to be stirred to pray for change. Be respectful, but don’t be afraid of discussing your concerns in order to bring God further glory.

Sometimes, the pastor may have gotten caught up being passionate about something & maybe unintentionally misquoted Scripture.

Other times, he may not even be aware of the problem.

And it can even happen that with trying, with good intentions, to accomplish too much, the Church has simply gotten off track & needs a chance to refocus their efforts for the glory of God.

Always pray before meeting or before sending that email!

3. Don’t bash the Church passive-aggressively through social media, friends, or family.

Mistakes happen in the Church. Seeing your own imperfections coupled with God’s relentless love for you should stir in you a sense of graciousness to the mistakes of the Church.

Instead of complaining (which stirs more discontentment but doesn’t actually solve anything),  we should work toward being the solution we see is needed.

Show grace for mistakes & weaknesses.

If it is a serious deviation from Scripture, like the prosperity gospel, for example, we should seek Christian counsel from a mature believer, pray, & seek God’s Word on how we should proceed.

4. If you have received confirmation & peace from God, have followed His leading to help solve the issue, & spoken with the pastor, with no change in sight, maybe it’s time to move on & separate yourself.

This is not speaking to those of us who may get upset at everything we disagree with or don’t particularly like about a church, but to those who genuinely are seeking the Lord for His guidance, wisdom, & will to strive for God’s glory in that situation.

If a church is unwilling to make changes in order to stay in line with Scriptural guidelines, sometimes it is best to remove ourselves from that situation completely.

Satan often disguises himself as an angel of light–in other words, he makes it sound right, but it is so twisted with lies that it becomes a death trap to those who fall into his trap.

Some “churches” are following twisted truth in an effort to make Christianity more appealing to the masses.  While maybe intending to mean well, they are actually leading people away from God.

Know the Truth, Stand for the Truth

Always be diligent in prayer & reading God’s Word, the Bible, so you may have discernment on what is Truth versus what is a lie disguised as Truth. Stay away from “churches” that preach the latter.

If the church is willing to change & refocus to God’s glory, but is struggling, it is important to pray & seek God’s guidance about what part you can play in making that change happen, in order for the church to realign itself with the Truth of God’s Word & see that God gets the glory.

Vague-But Pointing Back to God As the Answer We Need

I am intentionally leaving out specifics because I cannot tell you the perfect go-to answer for every situation. I can only point you to the guidance of God’s Word combined with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

God’s guidance in every particular situation is the only way that is ever flawless in its approach, effective in its follow-through, & deserving of the glory.

So, pray & read His Word.

Don’t Settle

Don’t settle for complaints & passive-aggressive frustrations bubbling underneath or poured out online. Don’t rely on others to speak up. Be a member of the Body of Christ. Speak up & be a part of the change.

You are a member of Christ’s Bride, the Church. Find your part. Seek God’s face.

Let His Truth & Love guide your every decision & motive.

Be the change & Shine HOPE, Beautiful!

Coming Soon

Stay tuned for THIS Thursday morning EST! This week is our monthly Special Feature post (every last Thursday of the month). This is my chance to share something a little different than normal, so make sure you “Join My Tribe” so you don’t miss it!!

Next Monday morning, EST, the next blog post will be up, so make sure to check back then! I look forward to hopefully encouraging you & urging you further into God’s loving arms!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eternity Necklace

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!

Multiple mix metal chains are hugged by a metal curved tube to create this simple yet elegant piece with a lobster clasp closure.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & they grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!