Crushed Confidence

Have you ever done your best to live for God & then just had your confidence crushed because someone doesn’t like you?

I like to be liked. Who doesn’t. But sometimes, that can become an idol in my life that I desire to put above God.

We have to be careful with this sort of crushed confidence because it can come from people we respect as well, people who mean well, & even our leaders or mentors.

It hurts when it happens. We feel misunderstood.

We Don’t Always Get It Right–Failing Forward

I, through many mistakes & failures, have been seeking to follow God most of my life (with definite detours where I thought I knew better—spoiler alert: I didn’t actually know better than God, ever).

This doesn’t mean I always get it right or that I am always good or focused at it.

BUT, it is something I have failed forward in seeking to let God change me from the inside out so I can better live for Him.

And still, this being a core desire of mine—to live for God—I have been met with others who seemed to just not like me (even Christians) or those who seemed unable to avoid pointing out the many ways I was lacking… the many ways I was human.

God Is Patient, God Is Kind–The Perfect Teacher

I have heard the phrase used, “Do not expect someone to grow overnight in an area that took you years to learn.”

The gist behind that phrase is that while all of us who have surrendered to Christ as their Savior for their wrongs, to make them right before God through Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf, WANT to live for Him, we are all learning different things at different times.

God is a patient Teacher. He guides us so gently. He is so wise & kind.

God knows EVERY area where we lack or have a hang up. He sees it all, even the inner battles against temptations to sin & rebel that we either successfully or unsuccessfully resist (success comes in leaning full weight into Him for help until the temptation stops).

And even though He knows all of this more specifically than even we ourselves, He is still patient & loving & gentle as He guides us & when we fail Him.

Graciously Patient & Praying Together for Each Other & Ourselves

But we are not always so patient, especially when it grates our nerves to see a specific lacking in someone else.

We can easily step into the role never intended for us to hold—being the other person’s judge & jury.

And while we are called to help bring attention to each other’s sin to pray over it & help them to weed it out & overcome it by seeking God’s help together… we are NOT called to be hurtful or mocking of them in their failings.

Is It a Sin or Non-Sin Issue We Are Pointing Out?

We are also not called to nitpick people in areas that are not sin-related. That is between them & God.

And even if you have a personal weakness or trouble in that area, it does not mean that they do. We need to trust non-sin issues to God & follow His guidance personally, without inflicting those personal boundaries on others.

We are not their Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit can handle Himself just fine.

Just Not Their Cup of Tea–And That’s Okay

But sometimes, we can follow God with the best intentions, doing our best to love others & confident in how He created us & living out what He has called us to, & we can STILL rub people the wrong way.

Sometimes it’s jealousy & sometimes it’s insecurity. Sometimes it’s sin. Sometimes you made a mistake (you are human, after all). Sometimes conviction is at work in their heart. Sometimes personalities clash.

We are still called to love them.

Comparison Can be the Thief of Joy… Differences Strengthen Us

When someone else is confident & receiving praise, while we are struggling in that area, it can make us feel inadequate or it can make us feel small.

We need to learn to admire someone’s strengths, while not holding the strengths against that person just because their strengths are our weaknesses.

In fact, it is FANTASTIC that we all hold different strengths because together we can lift each other up & we become even stronger together.

Seek to Live for Him… Not for Praise

I get easily hurt when someone doesn’t like me. I don’t always get to find out WHY they don’t like me either.

But God has taught me that it is okay if I am not “everyone’s cup of tea,” as the saying goes.

If I am not living a sinful/rebellious-to-God lifestyle & if I am seeking to LIVE for Him, but someone doesn’t like it… that is okay.

So Many Maybes & That’s Okay

Maybe they have a sin in that area that they are struggling with & are feeling convicted by you.

Maybe they have a blind spot in that area that is being brought to light & it makes them uncomfortable. (That has happened to me!)

Maybe your confidence makes their lack of it even more obvious to them.

Maybe they’re used to having the spotlight & feel threatened by your confidence.

Maybe they’re just having a bad day & it will pass.

Whatever the reason, if you are a human being, you are bound to meet someone who doesn’t find that you’re their “cup of tea” & that, my friend, is okay.

Not a People Please, But a God Pleaser

You are not called or created to please every person on this planet & that is a very good thing because we are oftentimes polar opposites.

We are simply called to keep our eyes on Jesus.

Ask God who HE MADE YOU to be.

Ask God how HE WANTS you to live & follow the Bible’s Truth in trusting obedience, seeking Him for clarification.

Ask God when & to whom you should speak up in truth & love.

Ask God for the right words.

Ask God for courage & confidence, with an undercurrent of humility in understanding that your ability & wisdom is God-made.

Ask God to help your focus stay on pleasing Him with your life—not everyone else.

Talk to Him.

My Prayer in My Hurt

My prayer from last year during a struggle of feeling hurt by this:

“God, please help me. Lately I feel attacked from every angle & it’s distracting & maddening & it hurts. God, help center my mind on You & what You want me to see or do, not on everyone else’s differing opinions about who I should be or how I should act or what I should be doing. Only You. Clear the rest out so I can clearly see only You. Your will. Your patience. Your perspective. Your majesty. Your vastness. Your power. Your love. Your design. Your plan. Your will. Let the flaming arrow attacks swish right by me, while I keep walking Your will & way. Lift the burden of trying to be perfect in everyone’s eyes. Help me be gracious to others who are hard on me & express their will on me. Help me to love them in Your power. Help me to see & trust Your direction. Only You. Wash the rest away. Amen.”

Ask Him, Trust Him, Love Others, & Leave the Rest Up to Him

Live for Him & love others regardless of how they feel about you.

Graciousness is hard, especially when you don’t understand why others may not like you, but God loves you despite your flaws… so be willing to love others, too.

Shine Hope by keeping your eyes fixed on Him as your guide & as the One you live to please with your life.

Leave the rest up to Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain.

This piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

When We Feel Like We’re Standing Alone

Have you ever felt frustrated because you are gaining deeper insight into who God is & the depth of His love for us & the vastness of what He is capable of in helping us to live for Him… but no one else seems to care… even Christian friends & family?

Has it ever seemed like you are the only one who wants to learn more about Him & strive to live for Him, while fellow Christians in your circles just seem to be okay with what they already know & don’t really want any more?

Honesty moment here—I have.

But, I Do It, Too

Now, I am NOT saying that I always get it right or that I am always seeking God diligently or that I never struggle with self-centered thinking & rebellious thoughts toward God.

BUT, sometimes it can feel like others just turn their ears off when I want to share how wonderful God is & how much He is willing to HELP them live for Him.

I mean, wouldn’t people WANT to know how God can take some stress off their backs & help give them strength, wisdom, & peace?

But no, I get it… We, as human beings (me included, since I am indeed a human being), want to feel capable & self-assured. We can feel a little offended when someone implies that these are lies Satan satiates us with versus attainable realities that we blindly hope they are.

Having Control Makes Us Lose Control

Why do we do that? Why do we self-sabotage simply even by trying to self-protect or handle it on our own? Why do we cling to control as if we can possibly do a better job than our unconditionally loving & all-powerful Creator God?

As if having control would make our lives better on our limited understanding, knowledge, wisdom, capabilities, etc. etc. etc.?

When Sharing Hope Leads to Disappointment

I had such an instance happen today.

I excitedly shared with a friend some things God has been teaching me, encouraged to brighten her life with a bigger perspective of our great God, thinking I would surely be met with either a, “I know! Isn’t He so magnificent? Oh, I never get tired of remembering how capable & loving & patient & wonderful He is!” or, “Oh wow, God really IS so great & this just shows again how much He really DOES LOVE US!!”

But instead, I was met with almost a backlash of, “I think doing it my way is working okay enough.”

But… what?

Why do we do that to ourselves?

Why Do We Settle for Just “Okay”?

Why would we settle for our way… our “okay enough”… when GOD offers us significantly more at HIS expense, not even ours?

It’s like, “here, let Me give you strength so you’re not so tired, some wisdom so you’re not so stressed, & some love & peace mixed in there to let you know how much you mean to Me. And all you have to do is ask me for help.”

And our response is so often, “Um, I don’t want to ask for help because I am going to figure it out myself & if I just do more self-care then I won’t need the God-given strength & then maybe I will post a selfie & say, “felt cute, might delete later” to get the affirmation I need. So, I don’t need to ask for Your help. I’m fine, really.”

What?

Why?

I know I do it, too, so don’t think I am excluding myself on this. I am certainly NOT letting myself off the hook for this kind of thinking.

But, why???

In the Multitude of My Anxieties

After the very dumbfoundingly discouraging response from my friend, our conversation ended with an weird off-ness. I almost just plopped on the couch & cried from the confusion & sadness that overwhelmed me at their complete lack of interest in God’s help (& they’re a long-time Christian).

So, I remembered Psalm 94:19 “In the multitude of my anxieties, Your comforts delight my soul,” & so I stopped to pray something like this:

“God, why? Why would someone who knows You not even want to ask You for help like they don’t know they can trust You with more than just eternal salvation? Do they not even care? Do they not want to know You more or see You do more in their life than just meeting the status quo? Why don’t they care? Why do so many people seem to NOT CARE? Don’t they know how much You love them & HOW POWERFUL You are & all You can do for them to help them live for You like they always say they want? But then they refuse to even ASK You. WHY???”

God Is Still God

And God’s truthful reminders started coming across my heart, “Just breathe. I am not expecting you to be responsible for fixing everyone’s hearts. They are just human, like you. They make mistakes & get it wrong, just like you. But, I am God. I am not thwarted. I can work through even their disbelief. Remove the pressure that is building in your heart & take your burden for the world & put it on My shoulders. I will not hold you responsible for their bad choices. Just speak the Truth in Love & leave the rest to Me. I will take care of them. Just you be responsible for your choices & trusting Me every step. Leave the rest up to Me & just ask for My help & guidance to stay faithful to what I call you to & let Me handle the rest.”

Take Up HIS Yoke

And so, the beautiful Biblical reminders flooded my heart, from Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to Me, all you who are weary & burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you & learn from Me, for I am gentle & humble in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy & My burden is light.”

Taking His yoke is like a little flea sharing a yoke with a giant ox. How much contribution do you think the flea has to offer in that scenario? Not much, I’ll tell you that.

And that is a magnificent portrayal of a life lived in surrender to God.

We fight it so much, clinging to a sense of personal control, but what will really bless us is to give up that control for Him to carry the weight while we walk in His way by trusting Him with every step.

Pray With Me

So, if you’re like me, my friend I mentioned earlier, & every other human in existence & you struggle trying to maintain control over your life to try it your way, in your strength, & in your wisdom… pray with me.

Pray & ask God to help you see the MORE that He offers you.

Pray to have a humble & wakened heart, to know His deep, wide love for you & the vastness of His great power that He offers to help us if we but ask.

Because He DELIGHTS in us taking HIS yoke & us putting our burdens on Him & Him giving US rest, peace, wisdom, strength, hope, grace, mercy, joy, self-control, etc. etc. etc.

1 John 5:14-15, says, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”

So, ASK HIM.

He’s Got You, Babe

Let’s all work at being a little better at letting the God of the Universe be in charge, while we strive to trust Him with more & lean into Him more as we seek to live under His lead. He’s got you, babe.

Shine HOPE by refusing to do it yourself & asking for HIS HELP.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Onyx Necklace

Modern hammered brass necklace features 3 genuine onyx drops.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Being Gracious When They Ask

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to explain yourselves countless times & just got tired of doing so?

Now, I understand the value of being gracious to others, knowing that when they ask questions, it is not necessarily to mock or judge me, but rather because they lack understanding & want to better understand the situation. And, to better understand, they must ask someone who knows more than they do.

But Sometimes I Just Don’t Feel Up to It…

But, sometimes, as the explainer, I just don’t always feel up to the task.

Sometimes it’s hard to rehash something you’d rather forget was so different & in need of explaining.

Other times, you are struggling to make sense of it yourself.

I understand the value of patience & understanding, offering grace to those who may not know about my situation, but sometimes it’s hard to see past my own struggle.

Such is the case with my situation.

Sometimes I perk up at the opportunity to bless someone with a new & fresh perspective, & other times I just want to slowly, quietly back away & hope that they forgot I was even talking to them.

Our Planning Can Sometimes Make Us Expect Our Way Versus God’s Way

I think it is common to take for granted the “plan” for life that society has so ingrained in us. Grow up… Get married… Have babies… Become grandparents… etc.

Not to say there is anything wrong with that plan, except for the fact that we are determining what God’s plan should be for us & the fact that it seems to uproot us when we realize our plan might not actually be GOD’S plan for our lives.

I am currently thinking of the verses in James 4:13-15, “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such & such a city, spend a year there, buy & sell, & make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time & then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live & do this or that.”

It’s Not Wrong to Make Plans, But Bow Them to God’s Will

It’s not wrong to set goals & plans, but we need to be willing to trust that whatever God’s plan is, is much better than ours & I think a lot of life’s disappointments stem from coming up with a way of life that seems right to us, only to find out God has other plans for our life purpose.

BUT, that’s not to say His plan will be easy to accept or easier than our plan… just BETTER.

Here Stems My Struggle

BUT, the catch to that, is we will miss out on so much of the blessing God intends in His BETTER by focusing on how much it doesn’t match the plan we have meticulously mapped out for ourselves—which can lead to much bitterness (trust me, I know from experience. I’m not always good at relinquishing my ideals for His perfect will.)

I’m good at (bad at?) thinking I know better. *sigh* I am a work in progress.

It Gets Personal

My husband & I always assumed we would have kids one day. Sure, I was terrified at first, & then he was when he felt the fuller weight of responsibility, but eventually we turned those fears to God’s care & welcomed God to bring a child into our lives with ready anticipation & excitement… for the next 6.5 years now.

Even after both of us being checked by the doctors & being told we were both in prime baby-making condition… Still, no baby.

Even after we prayed for many years… Still, no baby.

(Let me clarify that babies still sort of terrify me & I am not one to coo & jump at the opportunity to hold a baby, (sorry, mamas!) but I want a larger family… memories of family game nights & cooking together & caring for them & guiding my children to be lights in the world for HOPE in Jesus.)

BUT, it seems to be this is not God’s will for us now, if ever... & that was a hard reality to swallow.

Reasoning the Pain Away, Versus Leaning into God for Comfort & Wisdom

As I had mentioned in a previous blog post (here), although it was easy to convince myself why it’s so hard to be a parent & that I am blessed to be able to travel more readily, I learned that it was my way of trusting my reasoning more than leaning in to trust God with it.

And when I strip those reasonings away, I am left with seeing other families make those memories that I don’t get to make & feeling the threat of tears burning in the corners of my eyes. Because trusting in my own reasoning doesn’t actually help me erase the emotions behind the longing.

And sometimes, yes, I get tired explaining the complexity of it all & I just don’t want to explain my heart & my thoughts & everything in between.

I am just human. I don’t have all the answers to the ‘why’s’.

I am also not 100% faithful in trusting God’s plan.

Sometimes I want my plan instead.

The Joy

But I know that joy comes only when I am willing to understand that God is all-knowing & I am not. He knows me far better than I do myself because He created me. He KNOWS me. Joy comes in knowing that He wants good for me, & not harm. Joy comes in trusting Him more than I do myself.

But it took me a long time to get to that place with this subject (& I still struggle sometimes).

My Dreams

I mentioned before that ever since I read Authentic Beauty, by Leslie Ludy, back in 2006 or so, that I dreamed of reaching out to women with HOPE–Middle School girls, High School girls, College ladies, Moms, & women in general. (I even dreamed of, but never saw possible, the idea of running my own website where women could seek hope without judgment—my how God has answered THAT!!)

Well, taking that fact of having a passion to encourage & lead women with hope as the prequal, now enter my bitterness that I harbored for many years over a lack of a baby.

How do those two things work together? The dream… & the bitterness of no children?

Spiritual Fruitfulness

Last year, a Bible Study group I attended worked through a Beth Moore study called Breaking Free. One of the chapters was on “being fruitful.”

You can probably feel me tensing up then, after reading that day’s topic.

But to my surprise, it was not a chapter on the joys of motherhood & why every woman should want to have children because they are blessings from God.

This chapter was on spiritual fruitfulness & talked about the importance of replicating the hope & joy we have in Jesus around the world & to those around us.

God Fitting the Pieces Together Perfectly

Wow. Was that a humility check for me, because Beth Moore mentioned the little verse in Isaiah 54:1 that I had passed by so easily many times before, “Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord.”

And the same lines are repeated in Galatians 4:27.

With all of the many verses about the joys of parenthood & that children are God’s blessings to us, He does not neglect the longing, sad hearts of those like me, who can’t seem to have children.

He makes a point to tell us to “burst into song” & to “shout for joy” & to show us that He has not forgotten nor forsaken us in His “No.”

Mothers Pour Mostly into THEIR Children, But Barren Women Can Pour into the Lives of MANY MORE

Beth Moore’s point, in that chapter, was that women who are mothers have the responsibility to pour into their children, care for them, discipline them, & guide them in how to seek & follow after Jesus Christ.

But, women who are barren (or, childless, in my case), have the opportunity to “be fruitful in their faith” on a MUCH larger scale by either pouring into the lives of all children they are blessed to interact with, or by pouring into mothers so that those mothers are encouraged & edified to then pour into THEIR children.

Always Look to God’s Plan & Ask Him for It!

You see, when I keep my eyes on GOD’S PLAN over my own, I am opened up to see the bigger picture. I am opened up to the FACT that God has not forgotten me & that He has a greater plan for me than I have for myself. I am opened up to release my bitterness & embrace JOY.

Is it possible that He will still choose to give me children in some way? Yes.

Do I still look at the back of board game boxes & feel a tinge of sadness at the smiling faces of that laughing family depicted there? Yes.

But does God comfort & strengthen & re-focus me as I lean into Him in it? Most definitely YES.

God Knows You & God Knows Best… Always

But, in the meantime (& if that time never comes), I should strive to see God’s whole picture… That yes, I may never be blessed with children of my own, but I can use that childless time to pour into the hearts of other women so that they, in turn, can pour into the lives of their children.

God has not deprived me of my dream to be fruitful. He has opened the door for me to see my dream realized on a larger scale.

Taking me from 2006 in wanting to be an intentional light in the world & to pour into the lives of other females, to now, in learning of that unique opportunity I have been given in not being blessed with children of my own.

Taking me from my 2006 dream of running a website, where ladies could come & seek answers about hope in Christ anonymously & without judgment of peers or parents, to running my own website & blog & Facebook community, starting in 2018. Wow!

Show Grace… Even to Yourself…

I feel blessed. I feel sad sometimes. And it’s okay to have both. God is capable of filling in my gaps.

Show grace to others who may not understand your situation. Take time to educate them so they may be more sensitive to others who do not share their circumstances.

Show grace to others who DON’T WANT (or feel too exhausted or overwhelmed) to share their own situation which is different than yours. Sometimes it’s hard to explain & other times it is just plain hard. Give grace.

And show grace to yourself. You’re not meant to understand it all, but God does, so lean into Him. And when you’re just too tired to explain yourself for the hundredth time, don’t take it out on the hundredth person to ask. Take a deep breath & be polite & patient & be praying… either say, “can we talk about this another time?” or “I understand that you want to understand this, but I am not up to explaining it right now, please excuse me.” Or, ask God for the patience & calm to sit down with them & talk them through it & answer their questions.

God’s got you, so let Him shine hope through you. He never fails. Lean into Him & above all, trust Him more than you do yourself. It’s worth it one hundred percent of the time, always.

Coming Next Week

*Check back THIS Thursday for October’s SPECIAL FEATURE post!*

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Turning Leaf Set

This silver finish hammered metal necklace with matching earrings was inspired by the beautiful shapes of leaves (& look like dragonfly wings). *Matching Earrings not pictured, but included in set.*

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!