The Diversity of Doubts

Doubts are a funny thing. They can permeate almost every aspect of our lives, whether we recognize them or not.

Sometimes they are so subtle that we don’t realize we have them, but they influence how we live our daily lives.

Sometimes they are so obtrusive that we can’t seem to see anything BUT those doubts, haunting us like a storm that follows our every move.

No matter what doubt it is, it is, I would argue, always rooted in a misunderstanding about who God is.

The Most Harmful Misunderstanding

If you think about it, so much of what we struggle with in our lives is centered around a misunderstanding about who God is, whether it be an anxiety or a trauma or anything in between.

Either we are not positive God can fix it (or at least not the way we would prefer it to be fixed) or we wonder if God cares enough to fix it even if we believe He CAN.

This misunderstanding can manifest on our auto-pilot life, doing the best we can the way we understand it should be (also see, “doing what is right in our own eyes.”) … or in us feeling paralyzed because we feel like what we want to believe about God may not be the way we always envisioned it to be.

Doubts in the Christian Life

So, today, I want to tackle a few specific doubts I had once I made the decision to trust God after my ocean of doubts-some of which I covered in Part 1.

A couple weeks ago started us off with “I’m Not Very Good at Reading the Bible,” so let’s go into a few more.

6. Doing What Seems Right in Our Own Eyes

The biggest one that is so easily missed, because of its subtlety, is “doing what is right in [our] own eyes.” (You can do a quick internet search to find some passages about this in the Bible.)

A lot of us are taught, even if just by example, the daily routines, habits, & flow of life as we see best. We don’t see it as doubting God, but we also don’t really stop to consider that He would have a different plan in mind than what we always grew up believing it should look like.

This is a doubt about God that can exist, in one form or another, throughout our entire lives, because it is so subtle that it doesn’t seem like a doubt in God at all, but just merely “the way life is.”

It Permeates So Many Areas of Life

I have talked about this topic many times throughout my blogging journey because I find it permeating my own ideals & habits all the time. I am not trying to do things “my way,” because to me it just feels it’s the only way I know.

We need to take a perspective shift with this one to realize that God’s plans are higher than our plans & extend through the span of eternity & not just the up-to-100+ years we are looking at.

The only way to accomplish a different mindset than “doing what is right in our own eyes,” since that is our automatic route, is to consider & turn to God in all things—spend time reading the Bible consistently, talk to Him regularly, & constantly ask God to show you where you might need to hand more over to Him or adjust for His plan versus your own.

Blessed Are the Meek!

It goes back to our Matthew 5 journey recently in meekness, taking our “strength” & “power” & offering our perceived control over to His perfect strength, wisdom, power, & plan.

Only in making those things of Bible reading, talking to God regularly, & turning more of your life over to Him a regular habit will we begin to see the areas where we are living according to what is “right in our own eyes” & begin to hand those over for God’s better way & better plan.

7. Is God a False-Hope?

The second Christian-life doubt I wrestled with for a long time was that Satan tried to lie & convince me that life was no better in trusting God over myself & that trusting God was a false-hope.

Let me reiterate that as a LIE from Satan & is not based in reality AT ALL.

You see, when I was relying on myself versus God, drowning in my doubts of God & trying to go it alone, I felt lost & alone & hopeless & scared—ALL THE TIME, with BRIEF pockets of relief.

BUT, when I finally turned those reins over to God, asking HIM to be in control, I felt steady & sure & stable, because I was trusting a sure thing, versus my flimsy self.

Hard Times Still Come, But It Is God Who Carries Us Through

Did hard times still come? Heck yes! And they still do! But now, even in my aching heart, even when things aren’t “magically fixed” like I wish them to be, I STILL HAVE a sure hope to count in, that God has a plan & WILL carry me through as I lean into Him.

What was once ALWAYS dark & scary & unsure, with brief moments of relief, became temporary pockets of dark, scary, unsure moments UNTIL I slump at His “feet” & ask Him to carry me through & be my strength in the hurts.

He is my hope, even when the world feels hopeless.

We will feel faithless at our worst, & Satan will try to riddle us with guilt & shame for it, but God is there to remind us that His faithfulness is not dependent on ours… & that all we need to do is cry out to Him & He will be there, ALWAYS, to carry us through our worst days.

8. Are We Supposed to Prove Our Faith by Living It Well on Our Own?

The last Christian Life doubt I want to talk about today ties in with the first one we covered earlier in this post, “doing what seems right in our own eyes.”

Not only in how we live should we be turning over the reins to God, like we talked about, but also in HOW WE SERVE GOD.

This means reading our Bible, talking to God about everything, & living for Him by serving & loving others.

But it also means trusting GOD to HELP us read our Bibles, talk to Him about everything, & live for Him in serving & loving others.

We don’t have to do those things in our own strength or willpower.

When We Know We Should But Don’t Want to or Feel We Can’t… God Can Help

We can submit our lack of willingness, pride, bad attitude, stubbornness, laziness, boredom, distractions, busyness, ailments, & EVERYTHING ELSE that keeps us from submitting to a healthy growth toward God, TO God.

We can open up & be real with Him about it, even if it’s our own lack of desire to do it or bad attitude or pride—He ALREADY KNOWS. So, open up to Him about it, get real with Him, confess it to Him, & ASK FOR HIS HELP WITH IT.

Sometimes Faithfulness Is Trusting in & Asking for His Help… Even in the Misplaced Desires or Lack There Of

I cannot tell you how many times I have to ask for His help with all the reasons I mentioned above. ALL. OF. THEM. Regularly.

I may know it’s good for me… Consistency in the last few years may have been blessing my life beyond what I imagined it could, BUT I STILL STRUGGLE & have to ask for His help sometimes.

Especially with prayer lately. I can inner dialog all day long to work out a solution without once considering, “Oh yeah, God…. Um, can You help me?” It’s embarrassing, but true!

So, Please, Please, PLEASE stop trying to live for Him on your own willpower steam & start submitting all of your obstacles to HIM for help, even if those obstacles are YOU & your unwillingness or lack of desire to follow through with it.

Quick Recap of Covered Doubts

Let’s recap the doubts we have covered so far, in the past 3 posts about doubts:

1. Jesus is THE way & there is NO OTHER way… & that is a good thing because He is saying we can’t save ourselves, but He has saved US, if we just accept His gracious gift of forgiveness.
2. God IS real—we can see Him in the specific order AND vast variety of creation… & in how He interacts with us PERSONALLY the more we submit to know Him more.
3. You’re NEVER “unsavable” because again, it’s not based on what you can do, but on what Jesus has done FOR YOU.
4. We pray because He CAN hear us & we know He can hear us because He interacts with us on a personal level as we grow to know Him more & is big enough to answer our God-honoring desires & still work His plan.
5. Reading your Bible consistently IS nourishment to you, it will change how you see & trust God, AND it is possible by asking for God’s help with it.
6. Doing it HIS way is always best, & even in the small, subtle ways, we should be asking for God’s guidance & wisdom to guide our steps along the way.
7. Pain & struggle does not mean God is not our perfect anchor, nor does it mean we lack “enough” faith, but is a call to fall in His arms recognizing His power & strength in light of our weakness & frailty.
8. Abiding in God & living for God is not meant to be done by sheer willpower, but by asking for God’s help & wisdom & strength & a change in our hearts every step of the way. Not perfection, but growth.

Next week, I plan to talk about fears & pain & struggle in light of our doubts about God, so make sure to come back for that.

Shine HOPE by looking to Him in all things great & small.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. Flash-plated posts.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Fear Pendulum Recap

We talked about fear on here recently, with how it often incites a fight or flight response, & in the case of this recent pandemic, is usually expressed with either buying copious amounts of toilet paper or sharing specific memes that express a complete disregard &/or carelessness for anything virus-related. (See that post, here.)

We also talked about how neither of those options work.

Of those responses to fear, it either leaves us crippled & crushed under an unsurmountable mountain of anxiety or the other response leaves us being disrespectful to those in harm’s way.

But the third option is putting our full trust in God. Letting Him quiet our hearts, by leaning into Him… While also respecting the fear of others & seeking to protect them from potential harm by seeking our confidence in Him over ourselves & our “wisdom.”

Another Type of Fear-Reverence, Respect, & Awe

But there is another type of fear I want to talk about today: Fear of God.

Some of you, in going through this pandemic, have been faced with this fear a little more directly than you may have admitted to yourself in the past.

It is something we should all possess, but not necessarily in the way you might understand it.

Perfectly Just & Perfectly Merciful

You see, God is both our perfect, unprejudiced Judge & our merciful, loving Redeemer.

As the perfect Judge, He has to maintain His law.

His law says that the punishment of sin (or rejecting His way & rebelling against His way) is death. This death leads to eternal separation from His love & every good thing, leaving us with only pain unimaginable & unyielding.

But, He is also our perfect, merciful Redeemer.

In this, knowing we could never perfectly uphold His law without fault, God sent His very Son, Jesus Christ, to die on our behalf, taking our sentencing upon Himself & rising again, victorious over both sin AND death, that anyone who turns from their way to put their hope & trust in Jesus instead of themselves, will be met with REDEMPTION to an eternity with NO pain or hurt or tears or sorrow, but only joy & goodness & love.

But, Fear GOD

So, in the Bible, we are told roughly 500 times (according to a quick Google search) to “FEAR GOD.”

One being, in Matthew 10:28 “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul & body in hell.” (Also in Luke 12:4-7.)

This could also be stated as, “And do not fear [this pandemic, which kills] the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” (edit mine)

Now, this is not a fire & brimstone message, so don’t worry… stick with me for the Good News….

Fear, Reverence, Awe

So, keeping in mind that God is both our Perfect Judge & Perfectly Merciful, what exactly does it mean to “fear God’?

Think of it in the terms offered by the original Greek “phobeisthe”: to fear, to be alarmed by, to revere, or to be in awe of.

God loves you so infinitely & perfectly & unconditionally that NO MATTER your past or present, HE PAID IN FULL your debt to Him, through Jesus taking your sentence by dying for you if you but put your faith in HIM. That is LOVE.

BUT, He also deserves our undying respect & honor & reverence & awe as our Almighty God… Our KING… Our Creator.

A Joy Eternal

In this time of uncertainty, fear, inconvenience, discomfort, worry, sickness, & death, let us remember that while it is true that this pandemic is wreaking havoc, it cannot have our souls.

We can rest in God’s ALMIGHTYness. We can rest in knowing that He has a plan for GOOD to come from this. And for those who have said “YES” to Him in accepting His FREE GIFT of redemption, we can rest in knowing that whether we lose to this virus or not, our eternal home is one of no tears, no pain, no suffering, no hurts, & no sorrow.

There is hope.

HOPE

(Emphasis in all verses in this post are mine.)

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure….” (Hebrews 6:19)

“Guide me in Your truth & teach me, for You are God my Savior, & my hope is in You all day long.” (Psalm 25:5)

“… put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love & with Him is full redemption.” (Psalm 130:7)

Fearing the LORD Is:

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, & knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” (Proverbs 9:10)

“The fear of the Lord leads to life; then one rests content, untouched by trouble.” (Proverbs 19:23)

Sometimes, when God displays His great power, we are tempted to hide & run, knowing we are unworthy. But, when God displays His power, it is to remind us that He has everything covered. He is the GREAT I AM. He is Creator, KING of kings, Lord of lords, Almighty God!

He deserves our respect & our trusting obedience. And while it is easy to self-protect, self-soothe, or self-solve, we CAN TRUST HIM with our burdens, fears, worries, etc.

Crave the Display of His Power, For in It Lies Our Confidence

I don’t know about you, but having that perspective makes me crave the display of God’s great power rather than avoiding or fearing it. It is a reminder that He is SO MUCH BIGGER than me!

And so, in this terrifying & uncertain time that we live in, look to Him. Fear HIM—revere Him, respect Him, honor Him, be in awe of Him… rather than cowering or running away from Him.

Exodus 20:18-21

Choosing a Response

Will you “remain at a distance” as the Israelites responded?

Or will you approach where God is & trust Him over all else?

Don’t run from His power, but crave it & submit trustingly to it.

God is still God. He is greater than this pandemic. His plan spans eternity. He loves us infinitely & unconditionally. He is Almighty God.

Even if it has to start with an uncertain whisper of the heart (where I began & where this man in the Bible began): “Immediately the father of the child cried out [to Jesus] & said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

Shine Hope. Fear God, not the virus.

How will you respond?

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Manilla Bay Earrings

Local capiz shell is dyed a light blue/green hue and hand cut into half moon shapes accented with silver toned metal.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives! 

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Not a New Question

This question of “where is God when I am suffering?” is not a new question.

In fact, it is asked by David in many of the Psalms as David is crying out, hurting, feeling alone & betrayed & attacked from everywhere all at once.

It is a human question, one that every person is tempted to feel at one point or another. (I can’t tell you HOW MANY TIMES I have cried this same question in my hurts.)

It’s a hard question to answer, I will tell you that. But one thing I am certain of, just like David always came back to this Truth, that when my help comes, it will be of the Lord.

He Never Leaves Us Nor Forsakes Us… Even When We Are Hurt

Does that mean He is ignoring us or forgetting us in the meantime? … Although it may feel like that sometimes, the answer is a strong “no”.

He will never forget or ignore us in our troubles. He loves you too darn much.

Our Blessings Can Also Come in the Form of Difficulties

Have you ever felt so caught up in life that when God jolts you out of your spiral, everything finally makes sense? God can use our difficulties to right our path.

A beautiful song that I like to think of when I consider this question of “WHERE ARE YOU, GOD!?” is “Blessings”, by Laura Story. (Go have a listen!)

Our blessings are not just in the absence of trouble, but in the peace, grace, comfort, strength, & power in the MIDST of that trouble.

And even more than that, as we lean into God through our struggles, God grows our character, faith, courage, peace, strength, & wisdom.

So Many Troubles. But, God.

Our troubles can come from many different places for many different reasons & His actions are always according to His perfect Wisdom in every situation (which we usually can’t see in the midst of our struggle).

He knows our needs. He knows our doubts. He knows our struggles & weaknesses & insecurities & fears & scars. And He knows what we need better than we know them ourselves.

He always answers our calls for help in His perfect Wisdom. ALWAYS. 100%.

Oftentimes we are missing out simply by begging God for the end of the trouble instead of clinging to Him & asking for His strength, love, peace, wisdom, hope, etc. to help us THROUGH it!

No matter the source of our troubles, whether it be in trying to keep our fast-spinning world in control in our own strength & wisdom, whether it be the results of living in a broken, sinful world, or whether it be the result of our own sin… He is good. He loves you. He hears you. He is able to bring you victory. He forgives. HE is able to bring you victory (worth repeating, WITH emphasis)… Not you believing harder or proving it more or being better… But HIS love, HIS grace, HIS wisdom, HIS strength, & HIS Almighty POWER.

Oh Hello… A Wake Up Call

I know that sometimes I need troubles to remind me to stop looking to myself or others as my answer. I need to remember He is there. He hears me. He is able. I need HIM.

Our troubles can sometimes come from our own self-focused (doing-it-my-way) actions… a stress that rears its ugly head when we are trying to keep it all together, weighing us down… & God often allows friction in our lives to remind us that we are NOT in control of our own lives & that He is KING.

We are loved by the King & because of this, His desire is not for us to scramble through all of life always trying to maintain control when He already holds perfect control. He wants us to know we can rest in that & have perfect, unmovable peace.

We usually cannot understand that peace until we are faced with a situation beyond our control & we then turn to & lean into God as our help. When we turn to Him instead of ourselves, we are able to be profoundly introduced to or reminded of the fact that God has it completely under control (even when it seemed impossible to us).

He is waiting for us to fall into His arms so we can know the fullness of His power & sovereignty, & love for us through it all.

It’s a Broken World We Live In… A Temporary Home

Secondly, God doesn’t promise us a life of ease & comfort, (even though we really think we want that).

In fact, God knows we will face pain because that is the direct result of sin in the world. In other words, He tells us what not to do because He knows sovereignly that those things hurt us, whether we get that or not… but we live in a world of those wrong choices. We live in a world broken by sin….

As a result, life is just HARD sometimes. Unbearably so, even, sometimes. Another reminder that we need Jesus… & to look at this earth as our temporary home, longing for the day we enter into eternity with our Savior where there will be no more tears & only LOVE & PEACE & JOY.

We Have an Enemy… But, God.

On top of that, the Bible tells us that Satan spends his time prowling the earth, looking to whom he may kill & destroy. We have a spiritual enemy at odds against us, wanting to watch us crash & burn, or at least to convince us to doubt God & to turn from God’s hope & grace through Christ (resulting in US paying our own penalty to sin—DEATH aka HELL, instead of having Christ cover us with His payment on our behalf!).

Don’t let your doubts & bitterness become so poisonous that Satan convinces you that you’re better off on your own. You’re not.

Our Only Taste of Hell… or Heaven… Your Choice

A pastor once made it clearer this way, (paraphrasing here), “If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior to cover the payment of your sin, your time on earth will be the closest thing you experience to Hell because it is broken by sin. If you reject Jesus, earth will be the closest thing you experience to Heaven, because on earth, God still blesses the righteous & the unrighteous, but in Hell, you will be completely separated from God’s love & goodness.”

What a clear reminder!

And We Can’t Forget Our Own Sin/Fault

And still is the subject of our own sin… our own wrongs.

No one can claim a sinless life except Jesus Christ who paid our debt before God on the cross!

And we should ALWAYS remember that while we are breathing, there is ALWAYS an opportunity for grace, mercy, & HOPE… & VICTORY.

A wonderful quote I read recently said that because we ALL SIN, our DEFAULT destination is Hell… & that we ALL NEED a Savior who will pay our debt on our behalf aka JESUS.

Sin Has Consequences, Now & in Eternity… Trust in Jesus & Ask for Grace

I also heard the wonderful quote that “the question is not, “why would a Good God send anyone to Hell?” but rather, “why would anyone CHOOSE Hell over a Good God?” because God gave a way out for EVERY SINGLE PERSON, through Jesus, to ALL WHO CONFESS their sins & ACCEPT Christ.”

Sin has consequences, & all of them hurt us, others, AND God. But eternal consequences can be covered by Jesus & God forgives & gives mercy now when we turn to Him.

Hurts from our sin is inevitable (that’s why God commands us to avoid them!)

Turn to Him, Cry Out to Him, Ask for His Help THROUGH the Storm

So, if you are hurting right now, maybe even feeling like the world is crumbling around you, confess what you need to confess, ask for God’s forgiveness & mercy & grace. If you know you haven’t sinned, then consider that God is in the midst of the hurt with you & He will help you THROUGH it IF you ask Him for His help in it.

So, ASK HIM!

Don’t let Satan convince you that the way to solve your problems is to turn your back on the only One who has any chance to truly help you overcome, heal, & carry on in victory!

Shine HOPE by taking your pain to the feet of Jesus. Confess &/or Ask for help from our Almighty GOD.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Bracelet (& Earrings)

Layered in natural labradorite stone, this timeless style will add elegance to any outfit.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Tried Already…

I don’t know about you, but this has been a common theme in my life. If I can’t figure out how to accomplish something, I just avoid it.

Whether it be organizing something that I don’t quite understand how or whether it be a life situation, if I know I should do it, but don’t know how… I feel like I just can’t.

Anyone Else?

One good example of this is reading my Bible consistently.

Do you feel like that comes easy for you? Or do you struggle beyond reading a few verses here & there (if any)?

If you know my testimony, found HERE, you know I accepted Jesus’ grace when I was a child… & YET, I could never seem to be consistent reading my Bible beyond a few weeks or so of motivation.

Soo Many Reasons (AKA Obstacles)

It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it just seemed either boring, unrelatable, or that the many of life’s obstacles seemed to keep me from getting into it long-term.

Once I realized how much I could really gain from reading the Bible: eternal perspective, God’s Truths, hope, relatable stories of others failing or seeing how God came through for them, “boring & unrelatable” were no longer my opinion of Bible reading, & YET, it still seemed almost impossible to be consistent.

“I Promise I Love God, But…”

I often felt like I had to make excuses for it or defend how I loved God because it made me feel like either a bad Christian or a failure of one. I had tried COUNTLESS times to get into it & would always seem to be overwhelmed by an onslaught of obstacles that always got in the way.

I sort of kept that detail (of not reading my Bible regularly) on the downlow so no one would think poorly of me or doubt my salvation &/or love of God.

It was embarrassing & riddled me with guilt.

But I just could NOT seem to keep up with it.

SO MANY Obstacles!

Whenever I made effort, the obstacles seemed to overcome me instantly.

Either I would get sick, have a headache, forget, get distracted, be exhausted, feel stubborn/rebellious, or just flat out not do it.

Trying to read my Bible daily seemed like trying to run up a snowy/slick hill. I might make it up a bit, but then I would slide all the way back to the beginning.

It made me stop trying after a while, thinking I am just not good at it.

MAJOR Perspective Shift in Knowing God Can Help

But then I read Andrew Murray’s collection of writings on Prayer.

One thing he thoroughly emphasized is how the current church culture is training people to be burnt out, exhausted, & full of shame at not feeling like a good enough Christian.

The ingredient he stressed is missing from our training is the key to everything we’re missing in this equation: God’s help.

The Lie: If Christian, We Should Just Be Able to Do It on Our Own

I feel like oftentimes, it is sort of an understood lie that if we are Christian, therefore having God’s power to help us, that means we should automatically succeed at everything we try. Therefore, it is often thought that if we are NOT succeeding, we must not be believing hard enough or are maybe not a good enough Christian.

WRONG.

The Truth: We Need to Draw from Him in Order to Succeed

The truth is that if we are Christian, we have been forgiven & are allowed ACCESS to God’s power, but we must go to Him & draw from Him to receive it! And I don’t mean, read your Bible enough & prove your sincerity & then you can have it… NO. I mean ASK HIM FOR HELP.

We are allowed to ASK GOD FOR HELP in obeying Him & honoring Him with our lives!!

In fact, not only are we ALLOWED to ask Him for help, we SHOULD be asking for His help.

He Is the VINE… We Are Just Branches

He. Is. Our. VINE.

We are mere branches & without drawing FROM HIM, we are just a dead stick on the ground.

So, ask Him.

Ask Him to help you have courage. Ask Him to give you wisdom. Ask Him for help in setting aside time for Him. Ask Him for focus. Ask Him for clarity. Ask Him for the willpower to do it!

Not As an Excuse to Not Act

And I don’t mean, “God, please help me with this & until I feel helped to my liking, I just won’t do it. I’ll go do what I would rather do right now until you do all the work for me.”

NO.

I mean, “God, I am [stubborn & hard-hearted, lazy, distracted, or tired], please give me [clarity, willpower, strength, courage, peace, etc.] to do this & knowing this honors You, I know You will help me & that in my own strength, I will fail a million times. So, I will stay here & keep asking & act on the knowledge & faith that You are capable of & will help me to obey & follow You. I need You AS I DO IT. Amen.”

Be willing to ACT on FAITH that HE is your solution… that if there is ANY way for you to be consistent & faithful, God can accomplish filling in where you lack.

Leaning in Where I Lack… (AKA Everything)

Doing this… leaning into Him when I want to quit or just don’t feel like it physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever… is the ONLY way I am able to be consistent in reading my Bible EVERY DAY for THREE YEARS now.

Taking This Truth to Other Excuses/”Failures”

And now, my challenge rests in improving personal time with Him, talking with Him, sharing my burdens with Him, asking for His help with trauma of my past & my hurts in the midst of emotions, telling Him everything I am so grateful to Him for, & coming to Him to intercede on behalf of others I care about.

My new challenge is trusting Him to help me pray more frequently, deeply, & meaningfully.

And the same rule applies. I need to trust God with help in it versus saying, “I’m just not very good at setting aside time for or focusing on prayer.”

I may not be good at it, but where I am limited, He is limitless.

Because He Can

It’s time we stop focusing on where we end & instead, start leaning into the One who has all we need to accomplish what He asks of us & all that honors Him & brings Him glory in this hurting world that needs Him so much.

He’s worth it!

Shine HOPE by asking for His help in how to do it, when to do it, & help in what you need in order to do it. He has all you need, Lovely!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile, reversible necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side & off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Trending: Exhaustion

I have seen a consistent theme in many Christian circles… Many people seem to think that the more they DO for God, the better a Christian or God-follower they are.

I am here to break that harmful thought pattern with a little truth we could all stand to benefit from (including me).

Being a “good” Christian is not about how many “godly” things you cross off of your list, it is about leaning into God with more & more of your life.

The Beauty of Letting God be GOD

In other words, being a “good” Christian is about trusting God to lead versus trying to cover all the bases, exhausting ourselves, & missing the mark completely.

We need to learn to understand the beauty of surrender… the beauty of letting God rule our minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, etc.

God has a beautiful & vast plan that is both all-encompassing & intimately personal to each individual.

He doesn’t need our help figuring out how to carry out His plans.

What God Needs

God needs us to be still & to wait on Him. He needs us to listen. He needs us to be willing to let Him lead. He needs us to trust Him enough to obey when He leads our hearts. He needs us to surrender our ideas to His will. He needs us to use our resources according to His nudging versus our earthly & thus greatly shortsighted understanding.

And sometimes, He needs us to LET GO of what He has NOT asked us to do in a season of life… but that we keep clinging to because to us it defines our level of commitment to God.

His Plans Are Not Our Plans

God is trying to show you YOUR individually created purpose & the joys of seeing all that He has set before you in His wonderful plan.

He wants us to join in HIS plan.

You see, being a “good” Christian is not about how much you accomplish for God, but in how much you trust Him & let Him lead your steps. It’s about making Him Lord over your life.

But… But…

I understand the temptation to want to prove our loyalty or love for Him.

I understand the pressure to prove to others that I am a “good enough” Christian or that I am doing “enough” for God.

I understand wanting to be Martha (Luke 10:38-42) aka a good hostess for my Lord.

But God wants more of our HEARTS.

Should we be willing to live out our faith, in action? Yes! But that should be done by leaning into God & letting Him determine & lead those actions, versus trying to do it all.

God Is Not Asking Us to “FIX” the World, But to Carry Out Our Given Purpose While in It

On this side of heaven, the world will never be perfect. God is not asking us to change that & He is not putting the pressure on our shoulders to make this world perfect.

What He is asking is for us to lean into Him & ask Him what His will for our day/life is.

Not to do it all, but to do what He has planned for YOU.

We have to be willing to trust Him to handle the rest.

We Want to be the Hero… But God Has Already Won the War

Are there gaps that you see & you want to fill it all in? Don’t jump to fill every void if you are already obeying God’s steps for you. Instead, ask for His wisdom & guidance & will & trust HIM to be the Hero.

Maybe He will help you restructure so that the need that is stressing you out is no longer needed in the same way.

Maybe God sends help from somewhere unexpected.

Maybe that thing is not actually needed at this time & maybe He is asking you to let it go & trust Him.

My point is this… God sees what we do not… & we should be trusting in Him & leaning into Him instead of trying to replace Him by doing it all for the God of the universe.

Saying “No” When It’s Hard

When I was out of high school, I faced my second battle with depression/anxiety. I was angry & sad a lot & didn’t know how to stop it. I had suicidal thoughts quite often.

So, I ended up seeing a therapist to help me understand the battle waging in my mind & she helped me see outside of my own loop of solutions that never worked but went like this:

Stressor -> Anger/sadness -> Suicidal thoughts -> Stuffing it -> Stressor -> Anger/sadness, etc. (It was a downward spiraling loop.)

She showed me a doorway I never knew was there before: to say “No” versus trying to be everyone’s everything.

My anxiety was brought on by my inability to say “no” or “not now” to others… I never wanted anyone to feel let down or alone–both wonderful things, but I needed to instill balance in my life.

The reality was that I COULD NOT be everyone’s everything… It simply was not possible.

Don’t Burn Out… Look to Him & Rest in His Plan/Purposes

The same is true with Christian living.

If we go about life trying to fill in every gap & perfect every imperfection that we see in this world, we will quickly become despairing & exhausted.

God doesn’t need us to fill His shoes. He needs us to obey where He calls us, specifically.

And we won’t know what that moment-by-moment, daily calling is unless we are leaning into Him for direction, wisdom, strength, & guidance.

Maybe, Just Maybe, He Knows “Just a Little Bit” More

Maybe He sees a side door or new direction/way that you have been ignoring or unknowingly bypassing.

Maybe He sees a person willing to step up that you have overlooked.

Maybe He knows a little (a WHOLE LOT) more than we do.

Maybe we should let Him be God & surrender our hearts & lives to serve His will, plan, & design in just the ways He personally calls us to… & leave the rest to Him.

Abiding more is all about leaning into Him more… direction, wisdom, guidance, strength, power, a way where there is no way, love, patience, joy, kindness, compassion, hope, grace, mercy, & everything else we need.

Pray, & ask Him to show you what that should look like in your own life.

A Prayer to Let Go… And to Act Where He Leads

“Lord, I feel like I am trying to do it all. I want to please You, but I understand that You don’t need me to do it all in order for You to accomplish Your will & way. Help me to let You have the control instead of trying to maintain it myself. You are not dependent on me for everything that You desire for this world. Help me to let go of control & offer it to Your able hands instead. Teach me to trust You to be GOD. Help me to see where you want me to give up certain things that You are not asking of me & help me see the areas You are asking me to fill. If there is a job or action that you want to restructure or omit for now, please make it clear to me & teach me to walk in You, letting You lead my every step, including how I serve You, whom I reach out to, how I spend my resources, etc. You are God. Teach me to trust You with more & more of my life every day because of Your great love for me, Your great love for this world, & Your infinite wisdom & power. Thank You for all that You are. I love You. Amen.”

Letting Him be God Over It ALL

Becoming a full-time Christian happens by learning the beautifully freeing art of letting Him be God of every area of your life… NOT by trying to do it all.

He can handle it, trust me.

Shine Hope by bowing your will to His way, & leaning into Him through every step of the way.

Coming Next Week

Join me this Thursday morning for our December Special Feature post & then also every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Holly Necklace

Holly is one of the founders of Trades of Hope & her passion is to empower women to be all God created them to be & to live out their potential. Whether she is visiting the women living in the brothels of Asia or in hometown USA, her desire is to see women live out their calling with pride & dignity. This piece is a reflection of the pride & skills a woman rescued from the brothels has when given the opportunity.

A delicate piece, this golden/pink druzy necklace with a golden chain sparkles in the light.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Just Start

Have you ever felt like you just HAD to start something, but you felt completely inadequate for it?

Or maybe you literally had to start something (ie. Parenting), but you felt completely inadequate & unprepared for it?

Well, that’s me with this blog.

Stepping Out of Comfort Zones

I had this spark inside of me that said I NEEDED to do this blog.

I saw the darkness of this world & I understood that the world needs significantly more hope & light in it, & then I realized that I had to do whatever it took to make that happen, even if in some small way.

Not because I am a good person. Not because I am so wise & capable, but rather because I am not–& because I realize that I am not.

I need encouragement just like the next person. I fail. I fall short. I feel weak & insignificant. I am not enough.

But the world needs hope.

They NEED it.

Hope is Like Oxygen-It Gives Life

And to keep its source quiet & to cover up the light that shines in my own heart felt impossible. People need hope like air to breathe. They may not realize it, but everyone needs it.

Because we have limitations & weaknesses, we all come to the end of ourselves at times. But we try to pick ourselves back up. We try to be stronger. And sometimes, we give up.

We need HOPE.

Like oxygen.

You can “hold your breath” for a little while, but it will catch up to you… that need for hope.

Realizing My Need for God

God has shown me the end of myself, frequently, in these last many months.

He has shown me how self-concerned I am & how determined I am to rely on myself versus turning to Him as my wisdom, strength, & direction (*& HOPE).

When I have crashed & burned, I have wanted to quit, throw in the towel, & just never try again. I have felt battered & bruised & flat out DONE. I have been selfish.

Have you ever felt this way?

God Knows I Need It

But here’s the kicker….

God knew I needed to get knocked down these seemingly infinite times.

Because you know what is happening?

I am realizing the hidden sin I harbor in my heart. I have noticed my blatant disregard for listening to or obeying God when I am not comfortable & happy.

I have noticed how selfish & proud I am with my life & my happiness.

I have noticed how HUMAN I really am, just like everyone else, & it is so, so humbling.

“Neither”

Another thing that struck me out of nowhere was a little verse that I was reminded of at church, in Joshua 5…. Let me tell you the story.

Picture this… There is a man afraid of an oncoming enemy, set on destroying them all. The angel “commander of the Lord’s army” comes to him & this man’s question to the angel is this, “Are you on our side or theirs?” The angel’s response? “Neither.”

Wow. Ouch.

What a slap in the face.

That reality hit me hard.

All for God’s Glory? Or Ours?

How often do we sincerely, honestly, without ulterior motives, request for us to honor GOD’s will & to glorify GOD in every situation?

How often do we pray, not for our own comfort & happiness, but for the freedom & redemption of others & for God to receive the glory in every situation, even if it means a lack of comfort for ourselves?

How often do we lay our desires & dreams & aspirations & desperation at God’s feet, lay all of it out as a request to God, & finish with, “but let Thy will be done”?

For me, lately? Not often, I admit.

It’s Hard to See Past What We Want

With my years of living in mostly solitude, with loneliness an ever-nagging cut in my heart, I prayed for friends & comfort & happiness.

With the hardships of living in a foreign atmosphere, I prayed for comfort & escape from the stressors.

With wanting to be a size two, so that I don’t receive constant perceived & actual criticisms & judgments from others, I have prayed that God make me skinny & pretty (Versus healthy & a good steward of the body God has given me).

With ever-unanswered prayers for children, I got hurt by God’s apparent “no” & prayed for it to happen anyway, through tears of frustration.

With the struggles of insecurity & inadequacy & fears, I have prayed that God would give me peace to just quit reaching out–so I could just be comfortable.

I am the poster child for praying my will above anything else & getting hurt when the answer is “no.”

Changing Perspective

And then that verse….

How often have I cried basically the same cry of frustration & desperation? “Whose side are You on!?!”

But. God.

I should, instead, be praying to learn how to live for GOD’S SIDE.

I Am the Clay

You see, we often overlook one very important thing when we pray…. God is SOVEREIGN.

He is GOD. He is the King of kings, Lord of lords, Creator of the universe, Redeemer of sin debts, Father, Lover of our souls, GOD OF ALL.

He doesn’t answer to us.

He chooses to bless us & help us & love us with blessings. He promises to be our strength & to give us peace & to renew our hearts & minds with a clean slate. He gives us SO MUCH.

But HE. IS. STILL. GOD.

Letting Him Rule Our Hearts

It’s hard to live in disappointment when you measure all prayers against that very important fact.

God is GOD & we are not.

How silly it is for me to tell God “how it should be” when He sees all & knows all & sees how it all fits together from the beginning of time to the end.

He knows much better than we do of what we need & what we think we need, but which will actually harm us in the end.

He is Worth It All

He is worth trusting.

He is worth laying all of our cries of desperation & longing at His capable & loving & all-knowing “feet”.

He is so so so so so so so worth it.

To Sum It All Up

So, here’s my encouragement for you today….

Do you have hidden (or obvious) sins in your life that you excuse away? Do you have dreams that are more important to you than anything? Do you have hurts that ache you to the core & make you want to stay in bed forever? Do you feel weak & incapable? Do you have longings that cut you deeply, even understandable ones?

Then lay them at HIS feet.

Do you trust Him enough to be Lord of your life? Do you trust Him enough to follow Him, hand in hand, through the storms of life? Do you trust Him when the answer is “no”?

Talk to God About It

Say, “God, I want this [or, I want this to end], but I know You are God & I am not. Help me to trust Your will & plan, & help me to trust Your goodness. You know my longing & hurt, but you are Sovereign. Teach me to trust You through this. Keep my eyes on You through the storm. Help me to trust Your way above my own. You have a plan. Reveal to me Your love & goodness despite Your response. To YOU be the glory, forever & ever. Amen.”

That is my prayer lately. As God has been revealing my depravity & the weaknesses that I too often ignore or excuse away, I have been learning to realize that this life isn’t about me… It’s about God. Loving & serving Him with my life to bless the lives around me & shine hope into their lives, is what it’s all about.

To God be the Glory

He is Sovereign. He knows best. May I learn to trust that to the very core of everything I ever believe or desire or hurt over. May I trust my Loving Father, the God of the universe. May He receive all the glory from my efforts.

Amen.

Shine hope, lovelies… But you don’t have to do it alone. God can fill in the gaps. Just trust Him with those gaps & do that thing.

Coming Next Week

Check back next Monday morning for my next post! I am praying for you. I may not know who you are, but I know God has a plan for your life & it is my goal to encourage you, so I am praying for you.

See you next week, Lovely!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Unity Necklace

Empowering Women Artisans in Haiti!

Upcycled beads made from glass and clay from Haiti’s mountains hang on a silver plated chain.

Artisan Information:

Haiti had this century’s worst natural disaster and is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of the orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths or natural disasters, but by parents who gave them up simply because they could not feed them. The group we work with is an “un-orphanage” and is helping with the orphan crisis by providing parents with sustainable business through creating products.

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Haiti!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!!

Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

A Quick Reflection

It has been so neat seeing God grow even me as I begin this blogging journey.

I began this journey expecting to inspire & encourage others, but as is true in most cases, the more I apply myself to pray over & encourage others in these areas, the more I inevitably grow & learn along the way.