A Love Story

On this journey of pivotal moments in my life, where God helped me do a one hundred eighty degree turn around from my personal wisdom to trusting His, I cannot neglect talking about finding my husband God’s way.

I wrote about our love story in a two-part short story, so if you like reading love stories, check those out, by clicking each of the two links for A Love Story & A Love Story-Part 2.

Answered Prayers

But today, I want to talk to you about how God answered many prayers of mine along the path of meeting the man I now call my husband.

I am like many who will read this, I prayed for a good husband—someone who would love me forever & be loyal & be an understanding listener—but I just sort of expected to make my own decision, know immediately, fall in love, & get married.

But God doesn’t always work like that. Our understanding is limited, His is limitless. Sometimes (it should be always), we have to hold on in faith through the journey.

Scared of the Unknown

After falling in love out of high school, & then having to break his heart & my own to walk away, I was quite wary of the idea of believing in love again.

I didn’t want to let myself fall, only to have my heart or his broken.

I didn’t want to trust in a happily ever after that never came.

I didn’t want to trust in love, only to have that love walk out the door.

I didn’t want to wake up someday, only to be dreaming of some other man as the, “if only I had waited, & then I could have married this dream boat.”

I didn’t want a husband who had that happen to him.

I didn’t want depression or injury to push him into the arms of another woman.

Wrestling Insecurities

I also had my internal wheel of insecurities to wrestle with, still:

“I am too fat & ugly to maintain a loyal, loving man.”

“I talk too much & once a guy sees that, he will be looking for an out.”

“I struggle with depression at times, & that makes me less desirable.”

And the list went on.

In other words, I was scared to let myself love anyone. The cost seemed too high & the risk too great.

I Do… But I Don’t…

So, when I prayed, after losing my first love, my prayers were more like “Lord, I really want to fall in love & get married, but at the same time, I really, really don’t.”

So, I rested from dating, still praying for God’s wisdom & guidance (& healing of my broken heart).

I also read “When God Writes Your Love Story,” by Eric & Leslie Ludy, a book my Mom had gifted me as a teenager, at which I had rolled my eyes & shoved on a shelf, to be ignored every day since. But now, it seemed like a beacon of hope.

His Way Now

I no longer wanted relationships based on how much flirting I could do or how perfect I could make myself seem—a perfect listener, ALWAYS there for ANYTHING, always charming & flirtatious & trying eternally to be simply perfect in every way.

I was tired of the charade.

I was tired of heartbreak.

I was tired of all the fears.

I was ready to try GOD’S WAY because MY WAY was certainly NOT WORKING.

And so, I prayed, A LOT… & I read that book, inspired to try God’s way now.

Baby Steps… No Flirting (or Hinting) Allowed

The journey of trusting God instead of me, when it came to relationships, began to take a step in the right direction when I made a male friend at college, a couple years later.

You see, we started out as friends, but as it seems typical with friends of the opposite sex, one of us developed feelings for the other (hint, it was me).

But I wanted God’s way. I wanted to look back in marriage & KNOW that I didn’t manipulate the results & thus worry whether if I failed to keep up the charade, he would lose interest & leave me. I wanted God’s way instead.

So, I prayed instead of flirting.

Clinging to Prayer Versus Manipulation of Results

I stepped away from trying to impress a guy enough or be likeable or flirtatious enough to get noticed, & I started praying instead.

I asked God that if it was His will to be with this guy, that the guy would make the first move instead of me.

I didn’t flirt.

I didn’t hint at anything.

I didn’t talk about it in such a way that he might THINK I was interested, without actually SAYING I’m interested, so that he would be nudged to think it was possible if he would just get the guts to ask me already! (We girls NEVER do that, right? Cough cough.)

No, I kept it as friends & never assumed it would ever change & I never implied to him that I wanted anything different, EVER.

And when I wanted DESPERATELY to help things along, I cried out of frustration & just prayed, A LOT for the discipline to keep my big mouth SHUT.

And I prayed for God’s will over my own. (I also prayed to remember that God’s will was better than my own & to trust that when I wanted to cave & run into my friend’s arms for a Michelle Written Love Story!)

Nothing… & Still I Trusted in God Over Myself… For Once in Relationships

And guess what… the friend NEVER ONCE made a move… & I managed (through God’s power alone), to keep my big mouth shut.

And we stayed friends… & he since got married… & I adore his now wife.

I am SO GRATEFUL that we both clung to God instead of each other, because we can stay friends with no awkward past!

God ALWAYS knows best, even when we are absolutely convinced that we do!

But that also left me single.

Meeting an Encourager

So, I kept praying & I had the chance to meet with my Aunt, who had lost her love many years ago & who had run into the arms of Jesus as a result of her deep hurt.

She encouraged me so much, just seeing the peace & assurance that flowed through her words & her life. She had such inner strength, that you could tell flowed from her deep trust in God over herself or her circumstances.

She traveled the world, as a summer missionary to several locations, from which she would rotate each summer.

She inspired me. She showed me what I life of single-hood could offer—a life so in love & so in touch with God’s guidance, peace, strength, & wisdom that seemed to flow through every aspect of her personality & life & encouraged everyone around her.

A Holy Distraction

I decided then that a speaker I had heard at Liberty University was right, “Marriage is a holy distraction. Yes, it is a blessing ordained by God, but He also says that if we can manage it, a life devoted to God is so much more fulfilling. With a family, you are distracted often from deepening your own knowledge of & relationship with God because you are hopefully dedicated to encouraging those things in your family & expending your energy & focus on them instead of God quite frequently. Not bad, but still, “a holy distraction.””

I no longer rolled my eyes at or recoiled at the idea of singlehood.

I actually wanted it!

So, then came the next step in trusting God with relationships—giving up that idea of singleness… but that will have to wait for next week.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Change Earrings

Silver hammered hoops feature coral and turquoise-toned beads wrapped in a fun color-blocked pattern. Crafted in Pakistan.

Artisan Information:

In this area of Pakistan, women are often sold as bond slaves due to family debt. Education & work opportunities are limited for women in this country, as their lives are oppressed because of their gender. Through your purchase, these women are being freed from bondage. They can now make a self-reliant income, while also receiving reading & writing classes. You can bring hope to women in Pakistan!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Pakistan!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Song:

Oh, Lord You know that we feel pain

And Lord You know that our hearts break

But You are God & we lean into You

You’re our God & You will see us through….

It’s hard to see past our own pain

It’s hard to see that the sun’ll shine again

But Lord we know that You are King

And as we lean into You, You’ll see us through….

We don’t have to fear tomorrow

We don’t have to fear our own sorrows

Because as we grieve, Lord, You are King

And as we lean into You, You will see us through….

As we lean into You, You will see us through

So, we lean into You, Lord please see us through.

A Hope for Tomorrow

We had a family member pass away this last week. We are still learning a new normal, but we know that as we lean into God, He will give us strength, peace, comfort, & hope for a new tomorrow. That is our prayer & our assurance.

Losing someone we love is never easy, but God is faithful as we lean into Him as our HOPE.

A Tribute:

A warrior through her life

Loving everyone through her storms

Doing her best to stand strong….

Kicked down by sickness,

But she kicked right back

Determined to carry on….

Her heart shone through

To all whom she knew

A vision of patience & love….

An advocate for her family

Letting them know they are loved

Always wrapping their hearts in a hug….

Now our dearly departed

But never forgotten

Dancing & whole & free….

Never again a tear

Her pain washed away

Praising her Father in Heaven….

Imagining her face

When she is finally faced

With her loving Heavenly Father….

She can run, she can dance

She feels no sickness or pain

She is whole & wholly loved by God….

We will miss her for sure,

Every memory of ours

Laced with sorrow & joy….

Sorrow at missing her presence

But joy in knowing she is Whole & Free

Dancing in the presence of Jesus….

But hope we have in this

We will see her again

In the presence of our Lord….

Praising Him with our every breath

Thanking Him for His grace

As He makes us whole in Him….

Whole & Happy & Free is she

And we will see her once again

When we someday join her in Heaven….

What a happy reunion it will be

No more tears, just loving joy

As we all hug together in love….

Surrounded by love

Wrapped up in grace

Singing to our precious Lord….

For God’s grace is a gift

He makes us whole,

He makes us free….

And for His grace

We will eternally praise

His wonderful, precious name.

Let’s Pray Together

If you are facing loss & don’t know how to move forward, send me an email & I will be praying for your heart & hope.

Shine hope, Lovely, by leaning into God our Father.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain, this piece was named after one of our co-founders, Chelsie, because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

((*Also pictured: Iris Earrings, from Peru!*))

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Quick Thank You for Your Prayers

First of all, I want to thank you for your graciousness if you checked for my blog post last week & missed it. We had a sudden loss in our family & we are all still in an adjustment phase of life right now. I will share more when it is more appropriate, but please continue to pray for our family.

Pivot Moments

As you may know, I have been working through retelling major pivotal moments in my life where God shone through in the toughest of circumstances & different areas where He grew me beyond what I thought capable.

God is an awesome God. He is limitless & infinite & has unconditional love for us, demonstrated by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross to redeem us for our wrongs if we but ask.

This week, I am taking us a step back to share another amazing thing that came through the reading of “Authentic Beauty”, by Leslie Ludy.

Looking Back & Lessons Learned

I mentioned a couple weeks ago about the encouragement to destroy a stronghold that had been keeping me captive—keeping me from finding freedom & healing through the leaning into the strength, wisdom, & power of God.

I also mentioned the demonic attack that came after that decision & action, overshadowed completely by God making everything calm with a single thought. His power infinitely overpowers the worst Satan can try against us.

But this week, I wanted to share with you the spark that encouraged me into ministry.

He Makes Me Worthy

First, let me just say that I am no one extraordinary. I am not super disciplined. I am not the most eloquent speaker. I am not even sinless or temptation-free (no one is). I have made & continue to make my fair share of mistakes.

I am just a girl… A daughter of the King. Not because of anything I specifically deserve, but because of the redemption I have found in submitting to Christ.

I still have a naturally fleshly heart that wants to rebel & question & wander. I have to continually check myself & pray for God to rein me back in with His truth, love, & grace.

God created everyone with a God-designed purpose, but we often drown that out by listening to the world instead of leaning into Him.

Learning to Lean into God Above Myself

I am not good at leaning into Him. I am good at relying on myself & the wisdom I far too often rely on, based on human understanding versus the wisdom of our all-knowing, loving God.

I am to be taken with a grain of salt, checked against with Scripture Truth… a human with limitations, temptations, & continual failures.

But I am redeemed & I am learning (by leaning into God for help to do it) to trust God’s plan over mine… to let Him define me & not my own desires or understanding or scars… to let Him shape me into the woman He created me to be.

It was that spark of realization that began my journey of striving to a be a light for Christ in my life.

He Created You with Purpose, Too

And He can do the exact same for you. Because you are just as much created by Him with purpose as I am (flawed past, present, & future included).

He is just as capable of changing you from the inside out as He has & is doing with me.

God is the power behind the will & act of change (Hint: because of my strong will, I have to pray often for even the DESIRE to submit to this change & His purposes–& He is faithful to shape my heart. We don’t have to try to outwill ourselves without His help).

Lean into Him… Not me… Not yourself… Not others.

“Someone Else Can Do It”

I am not immune to the trends of culture. I long believed that it was always “the church’s” job to do the work within the church. But who is “the church”?

We are.

I always used to let everyone else do the ministry work, thinking that work was for pastors & “super spiritual” people. I was believing a lie born of the devil.

I was letting the devil convince me to sit on the sidelines, keep my mouth shut about the hope of Christ, treat church like a Christian country club, & let others do the heavy lifting.

I thought I wasn’t good enough to lead or to do much of anything.

But, God.

But God designed the church to work like a body, each serving a purpose to edify, lift up, encourage, & point others to the hope found only in Him.

Whether sharing the Gospel hope brought by Jesus Christ, cleaning up after others,  bringing meals to those suffering, helping with financial support, going out into the community to love & to serve, or leading a Bible Study… etc. etc. etc….

… Ministry isn’t just from a pulpit. It’s not a pastor only job. It’s a day by day living for Christ & being a light in the world for Christ. It’s leaning into Him & His Truth & being a living outpouring of that hope, truth, & love.

I Was Called… You Are Called

And when I finished reading that book, among a couple others I cannot recall, I realized that reality.

I, as an individual was… & YOU as an individual are… called to live for Christ… not to sit on the sidelines while the world despairs through their own human wisdom & understanding.

We’re in a war & we are too often letting the enemy dictate the rules of the battle instead of leaning into our Almighty God.

We need to join the church body, not just to do what is glamorous or fits what pleases us or makes us look good. We need to do what needs to be done.

I did not set out to run a blog, but followed the prompting of God’s leading to be a light in this world, but it started back then, with a spark to do more.

What is God calling you to? What is His design for you?

Take the time to pray it over & keep praying until it’s clear… & pray for the will to start praying, if that’s what it takes.

… & start by serving the church where you can.

Lean into God & let Him lead you. Shine HIS hope, through His power & wisdom.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side & off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Hold Up

I was reminded, upon completing last week’s post about “Falling in Love, Heartbreak, & Learning to Trust God’s Plan,” that I neglected to mention a special pivotal moment of discovering who God made me to be, despite who I thought I was already.

Shaping Our Identity

Growing up, we all sort of grow to believe who we think we are, based on what our parents or others say about us or based upon stereotypes that the world presents to us.

We form our idea of “self” based on so many different internal & external factors: our desires, our fears, our insecurities, our successes, our failures, our wants & the way others view us or talk about us (among many other things).

We also create habits of self-protection to either save face or prevent a future hurt.

Insecure & Unsatisfied

For me, I grew up severely insecure about my appearance—so much so that I would shower with a t-shirt on & was afraid to see my face in the mirror because I was too afraid to look at myself.

I saw myself as unlovable & disgusting.

But, in my late teens/early twenties, I was determined not to stay stuck in a place of self-loathing because, like so many of us, I just desperately wanted to feel like I was worthy to be loved by someone.

I Had a Plan… A Plan That Backfired

So, instead of praying about it, I created a self-protection technique to help me get attention (which I thought was basically proof that I could be wanted & therefore, loved.

Besides deciding to shower in a t-shirt & avoid mirrors, I also self-protected by deciding to dress in a way that drew attention to my “assets” by wearing low-cut shirts & short shorts.

I thought attention to my body was the same as attention to me. (I was wrong.)

And, to top it off, I grew accustomed to speaking in such a way that way that each sentence was dripping with innuendos & flirtatious banter.

I taught myself how to make anything into a dirty joke because it proved effective in getting that attention I craved.

When I admitted to being a virgin at the time, people actually laughed heartily because I was so convincing to the contrary. I was proud of that (but a little hurt).

Getting Attention… But Something Felt Off

Perfecting the role I had assumed, I made more friends & got loads more attention.

I thought it was great. I enjoyed the power trip & the confidence that came with it.

But something just felt off.

The attention I was getting made me feel objectified more than loved or cared for. It made me feel icky.

Maintaining the Façade

I felt like I had to maintain this persona in order to feel worth anyone’s time or attention, but sometimes I just didn’t feel like I was being authentic… Like I was keeping up an act in order to stay appealing.

I guess that’s why my heart cries out toward actors & singers & other celebrities. Maintaining an air of perfect “I get along with EVERYbody ALL the time,” is just hard & quite frankly unattainable.

Everyone deserves an opportunity to just wear a messy bun, sweatpants, talk about things that aren’t as “appealing” to others, & just be real. No one is perfect. No one.

But I tried to be. I got pretty good at reading people & would adjust my personality or talk to make myself more appealing. I wanted to be liked & loved.

But like I said, it wore on me. I felt tired of keeping up this image.

I wanted to just slice through the fake efforts, just be myself & have that be enough for someone.

Who Am I If Not This?

But the biggest problem was, I didn’t know who I actually was without this personality I had invented.

I didn’t know how many friends I would have left if I didn’t keep up this image… this act.

I didn’t want to risk losing everyone… my circle… my net… my support.

I didn’t want to be alone.

I didn’t want to be unwanted.

So, I kept it up & dug in deeper to this image of confidence I portrayed to the world.

Unwanted Wanting

Guy friends ended up taking more “liberties” with me than I felt comfortable, but I was too worried about seeming insecure, about breaking the mirage I tried so hard to maintain.

And by the time it broke my heart enough (& with the supportive help of a good friend coaching me through it (Thank You, JD!), when I finally started standing up for myself… they got aggressive about it.

I was sexually assaulted by several friends, several times.

I was starting to realize that I no longer wanted so much attention.

I started to hate my persona.

I started to hate who I had become. Who I thought I was.

I felt so afraid because I didn’t know if that really was me, & if it wasn’t, I didn’t know who I was. I was afraid to lose everyone.

Finally… I Prayed

I was afraid that if I let the façade slip… if I faced depression again… if I didn’t try hard to be so loyal & friendly & a great listener & flirtatious & on & on & on, then any guy I dated would just walk away.

But I couldn’t keep the mask on forever.

So, I started to finally pray.

“God, I don’t know who I am. I don’t feel like I have any value. I feel unlovable. I don’t feel like I am special or desirable. I am afraid of being alone & unloved. I am afraid of being so ugly & not feeling like I have anything else to make anyone think twice about me. I don’t know who I am outside of this. This feels like me. It comes so naturally to me… but something about it hurts… Like I have to ALWAYS be this way in order to keep anyone around. God, I feel like this is me, but I guess You made me, so I guess if anyone knows who I am meant to be, it’s You. Show me YOUR potential for me. Show me YOUR design. Show me who YOU created me to be. And help me to trust You if I lose everything in the process. Please help me!!”

It was a scary & difficult prayer to pray, but I prayed it so many times I lost count.

I Wanted God’s Way… I Didn’t Want to Feel Used & Fake Anymore

I was desperate to feel like there was more to me than this fake girl who always had to make everyone happy 100% of the time & drew in people who took advantage of me just to feel like I had some worth.

God had to know. And I needed to know.

I needed to find me… His way… His plan… His design.

And guess what, Beautiful, He began to show me.

God Makes All Things New

Slowly, gradually, the fake flirtatious persona began to fade away as opportunities for dirty jokes would come up & just seem to be unappealing… I would just feel disgusted, like, “No, I am worth more than that. I don’t have to make people think about sex in order to be valued.”

It was a hard road & I ended up stepping away from several friendship circles, but I suddenly didn’t care so much.

I felt confident & free. I felt like I was finally myself (& I was finally okay with that!)

Who Do You Let Define YOU?

You see, it’s easy to let the world define us.

It’s easy to let our past define us.

It’s easy to let our inner cut-downs define us.

But we need to learn to let GOD define us.

God created you, Beautiful… & He doesn’t make mistakes.

God MADE You

Maybe you don’t measure up to what your parents, siblings, family, friends, or to what the world thinks you should be: prettier, smarter, thinner, more fashionable, more fit, more creative, less creative, blonder, darker, lighter, taller, shorter, curlier hair, straighter hair, etc….

But GOD MADE YOU.

We try to fashion ourselves into the niche we feel we belong based on the facts we believe about ourselves or what we believe others want from us…

But GOD MADE YOU.

Lean into Him. Ask Him. Ask Him to show you His design for you.

And don’t be satisfied to stop praying until you see Him begin to shape you & change you from the inside out… an inner confidence based on His design & your worth based on His love & care for you.

GOD MADE YOU.

Take Your Presuppositions & Pray About Them

And I can tell you from personal experience, that if you take your presuppositions & assumptions about who you think you are or who you think you have to be or are supposed to be… & you take that to Him in prayer, to trade it for HIS DESIGN instead… You will NOT be disappointed.

In fact, you will finally feel like YOU.

Imagine that!

Trust Him always, Darling. He loves you infinitely & He doesn’t make mistakes, no matter what anyone says about you (or no matter what you say to yourself—stop that inner self-hate dialogue!)

Trust Him. Always. Trust His DESIGN.

Shine Hope by being your beautiful, God-designed SELF!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain, this piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The Complexities of Wanting Love

“Love”, oh what a wonderful topic to think about….

Or maybe it just seems elusive to you, a wish you wish for, but you feel is an impossible reality.

Or maybe yet, you have been hurt by love & either fear it or just feel jaded by it.

Well, all of the above describe how I once felt about LOVE.

Cue the Meet Cute

And then, I met someone who helped me open my heart to all of the beauty & joy & adventure of love… & no, I’m not talking about my husband (I didn’t know him yet).

And no, I am also not talking about God.

I am talking about a guy I met soon after high school.

This is not a typical love story though, because while I felt I had met the boy of my dreams, we never had a happily ever after.

Afraid of Love

I grew up with an unhealthy fear of long-term relationships.

I assumed they all fail… that one side would inevitably lose interest or feel trapped in the relationship… that some fights or disagreements would end up being unsolvable… that rifts form & that lusting after others through porn, flirtation, or adultery would always happen eventually.

I assumed I was too difficult to be loved… not pretty enough…  too emotional… too much of a mess… too insecure… too much of a talker… too unlovable… & that eventually, any guy who married me would figure that all out & want out.

In other words, I assumed it was only a matter of time before my heart was crushed, if I gave my heart to love someone.

Because of this, I was afraid to love. I was afraid to get attached.

I prayed over relationships, wanting so badly for love to be a possible reality for me.

Oh, What a Feeling!

And then I met him… a guy who opened my heart.

I felt so in love. I cherished every long phone conversation & was elated at every chance to spend even a few moments with him.

I shared my heart, my deepest fears & hurts… & he did the same.

He was kind & caring & took care of me. He was a wonderful friend.

I wanted so badly to love him forever & to finally break free of the fear. I wanted to marry him.

I wanted to believe he could really love me forever.

And I am sure he would have.

I trusted him & cared for him more than I ever believed I could care about someone.

But I broke his heart.

I Thought I Knew

I was ready to go all in… to trust him with my heart & to start talking about marriage.

I was ready to follow him anywhere & leave my fears behind.

I was ready to beat the odds with the man I loved so much.

I wanted to marry him more than I had ever wanted anything.

But I broke his heart.

I kept praying about our relationship.

“God, please let me marry him! I love him so much! I trust him & care about him, even at his worst. He is so kind & so good to me. I can tell him anything & know that he cares for me. Please let me feel peace to push through the fear & marry him. I want to spend my life with him. He means so much to me. Please, please, please!”

But every time I sought God’s peace & blessing to spend my life with this wonderful friend, I felt a brick wall.

“Just Keep Praying,” I Thought… “Maybe God Will Change His Mind”

I couldn’t move past the feeling of unrest, an obvious, unsettled lack of peace in my heart.

So, I kept praying through the weeks & months we were together, unwilling to let go of the man I loved so much based on a current lack of peace.

I assumed the peace would come eventually, if I just held on & kept praying.

But it never came.

The dread started seeping in, as I realized that I didn’t feel God was ever going to be giving His blessing–His blessing, based on His omniscient, all-wise, over-all perspective.

But, God.…! Pleeeaase!

I hurt so many nights after a day well spend with the man I loved so much. I grieved the potential break up I felt God was edging me toward.

I felt as if God was gently trying to pry my fingers off of what I was clinging to so tightly… my desire to spend my life with the man I loved.

And I didn’t want to let Him.

I wanted to beg Him to change His mind.

I didn’t understand why God would let me love someone so much & not let me be with him. It felt so unfair.

No Matter the Reason, Yet I Will Trust Him

I knew this man didn’t trust in God, but I thought that could change as he got to know Him through our relationship.

I could feel my heart compromising my faith as I sought to be agreeable to the man I loved. But I thought I could overcome that.

But no matter God’s reasons, He was making it clear that my love & I were not the best match for each other, in some ways that I couldn’t even see myself.

And so, after many tears, much rebellious stalling (hoping to never have to leave him… hoping God would change His mind if I waited just a week longer), after seeing that God did not budge in allowing me peace to continue my relationship that I wanted so badly… I broke the heart of the man I loved.

Crushed… Shattered… Yet Not Hopeless

I knew he wouldn’t understand that I had gotten my answer from prayer, because he didn’t believe in God.

I didn’t want to explain why I had to do it, because I wanted him to trust God & not hate him.

And so, I let my love hate me instead.

And it crushed me… shattered me.

Collateral Damage

To make matters worse, I also leaned into a great friend for support, only to end up crushing his heart as well, when my love returned & I left my friend behind, not knowing his care for me was more romantic than friendship.

And when my love had returned, I was sure this time God would say yes this time around. But He didn’t… & I had to crush his heart & mine a second time.

I lost two people I cared for SO MUCH within a short time.

Not only did I have to walk away from someone I cared so strongly for, but I let him believe I didn’t love him as much as I did, in order to protect his potential future trust in God, the only One who could ever love him the way that he really needed.

Crawling Out from the Wreckage… Finding Hope

This heartbreak haunted me for about 5 years. I would check his Facebook once or twice a year just to relieve myself that he was happy & healthy & loved. I would cry when a movie reminded me of him (like Becoming Jane or Fever Pitch). I would wish that someday, God would bring us back together again… until he married someone else.

I have prayed for him consistently since then, that he would feel loved & cared for… that God would reach his heart & give him a kind of freedom & joy & peace like he’s never known. That God would guide him as a husband & father…. That he would come to Jesus & find lasting, sure hope.

I know now the story God had planned for me was my wonderful husband, Jamie, who loves me in a way that grows me as a human being & encourages me to lean into God with each trial, hurt, or obstacle. I know that God knew what He was doing because my husband & are so complementary in how we support each other. I wouldn’t trade my husband for the world!

But I didn’t know then.

I just had to blindly trust that if God was not going to give me peace, He had a reason.

God Always Knows… God Always Has a Plan… And He Loves Us Unconditionally

I lost someone I loved & I grieved for several years as if he had died, but God had a different plan for our lives & I know now that God knew what He was doing all along.

God always knows.

I know our hearts can be convincing, but God sees our full past, present, & future, with every facet & nuance & hidden trauma. He knows our God-given gifting & the plans He has built into our lives & our purpose.

He always knows best.

My love was real, but God knew better than me.

And I am so glad that I trusted God above my love for the man I loved so much.

Thankful I Listened

I will never stop praying for that man because of how much he once meant to me, but I know 100% that God had a better plan for the both of us & I am so thankful that I listened to God’s nudging on my heart to let go & trust God instead of my heart.

Always trust God before emotions, desires, & dreams… He always knows best.

He knows YOU best & He knows what is best for YOU. Trust Him first, always.

Shine hope, by bowing your will to His way & trusting Him with every step, every desire, every hurt, & every love. God’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Holly Necklace

Co-Founder Holly’s passion is to empower women to be all God created them to be & to live out their potential. Whether in the brothels of Asia to hometown USA, her desire is to see women live out their calling with pride & dignity. This piece is a reflection of the pride & skills a woman rescued from the brothels has when given the opportunity. A delicate piece, this golden/pink druzy necklace sparkles in the light.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Pivot Moments

These last couple weeks, I have begun taking you on a journey of major “Pivot” moments in my life.

In these moments of life change, God has shown Himself true & reliable & capable. He has been the love & grace & patience & power that has gotten me through & He is patiently guiding me to be the woman He made me to be.

Doubts to Darkness

This week, we are following through with the results of last week’s Pivot moment & the answers that finally squashed all of the doubts rattling my heart.

((To catch up from last week & read the story of my seemingly endless doubts, check out that post, here.))

So, after a year or two of doubting everything I once believed in about the simplicity of grace… depression hit me hard.

We’re about to dive headfirst into my darkest days, so hold on!

Shutting God Out & Choosing Me

You see, I had just spent about two years slowly training myself to shut out God’s voice of wisdom & warning from guiding me. I wanted to do it my way.

And now, I was in a raging, stormy sea without a life preserver, just struggling to survive on my own.

Depression became two long years of pain like I had never known before.

How It Began

I was a freshman, & then sophomore, in high school at this point, & my life was a mess of uncertainty & shame & fear & anger & hatred & loneliness & everything bad.

The cynical voice in my head had turned menacing & hurtful… telling me LIES that I believed, “Nobody likes you, you know. You’re not good enough for anybody. You’re an idiot. You’re fat & ugly. No one wants you. Their lives are harder because you’re alive. You complicate everything. Their lives are more peaceful & happier when you’re not here. Why are you here? No one wants you. You’re annoying. You’re too loud. You talk too much. Look at the mistakes you’ve made… you can’t undo them. You are a broken person who can’t be put together again. It would be better if you didn’t exist. You just make life harder for everyone. You would be doing everyone a service to not be here anymore. You can’t ever get anything right. Your family doesn’t want you. Your friends think you’re a joke. God doesn’t care about you either, if He even exists. You’re all alone. Why are you still here?”

Those lies were my every moment. I couldn’t shut them up or drown them out.

Trying to “Fake It Til I Make It”

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shut off those voices in my head telling me life would be better without me in it.

I got so tired of asking for advice from others… because it never helped.

I started plastering on a smile that never quite reached my eyes & pretending that I was fine & I could handle it.

But I couldn’t.

Fading Away in the Silence

I was chipping away… My resolve weakening every time I cried.

I would be sitting in class, listening to that endless reel of hateful dialogue in my head & my eyes would burn with hidden tears.

I would write my hurt & fears in journals, needing to tell SOMEONE, only to end up sobbing at the fact that that “someone” was paper because I didn’t feel like I had anyone who understood the hell inside my head.

Sometimes I thought about suicide.

No One Understood, Not Even Me

I would try to tell someone, only to be mocked or teased or brushed off.

I would plaster a smile on my face that never quite reached my eyes.

I felt numb & hated & unloved. I felt angry & hurt & alone. I felt LOST in my sea of doubts, unable to find steady ground to hold on to.

My Secret Tears

I would come home from school so many days, grab my kitty “Valentine”, & slowly, quietly close & lock my bedroom door trying not to draw attention to myself, duck into my closet, underneath my row of clothes hanging above me, close the closet doors to block out the sunlight (& the sound of my sobs), & then wail into a pillow I had brought in with me, hugging my cat tightly under the other arm.

I spent several days a week like this for two years & I don’t know if anyone ever even knew.

My Life Began to Fall Apart

I hated my life & everything in it because I felt so alone & so unloved & so worthless.

The menacing whisper never let up either. It followed me everywhere I went, never letting my heart rest.

I felt constantly beat up by a relentless wave of self-hatred.

My grades began plummeting. Relationships became strained.

I was losing faith in myself & others seemed to follow suit.

Pray, Girl, Pray! … But I Did!

At this point, you might be thinking, “Michelle! Your advice is always ‘pray first!’ so why didn’t you do that???”

I prayed so much it hurt.

I felt that God had abandoned me… that my choices to slowly, gradually do things my own way had offended Him beyond repair.

I was a Christian who “knew” better & yet had still turned her back on God.

Why would He want me? … If He even existed (I wasn’t sure of anything anymore).

But I kept praying.

Is He Listening? Does He Care?

I wondered how God could love me & let me suffer.

I wondered if He had just created us & left us down here to suffer while He laughed & pointed out our failures.

I wondered if He was even real.

But I kept praying because I knew that if He was real, He’d be my only hope.

I Prayed… & I Hurt

If He was real, the way He describes Himself throughout the Bible, then He alone was powerful enough to clear my doubts & prove Himself as the one true God.

If He was real, He had the power to fix everything.

And yet, I kept hurting.

I kept hurting worse, with every day, or so it seemed to my breaking heart.

I felt alone.

Rays of Hope Broke Through

And there would come times where I thought I saw Him through the dark clouds that overtook me.

A ray of sunshine (of hope) would break through my heart.

I would think, “Hey, that seems to be God helping me… right when I asked Him for help, _______________ happened! Maybe God DOES care about us… about me!!!”

But the Doubts Always Seemed to Win

But then, another wave of darkness… I would brush off that ray of hope like a glitch… or maybe I had just felt stronger that day & had just thought it was God or maybe it’s because someone helped me other than God… or basically maybe it was anything but God.

So, I would keep praying. But I would keep trying to find hope my own way.

And things like that ray of hope would keep happening when I chose to pray.

And still I found a way to credit something else as the source… Something other than God.

I kept praying.

The Lost Man At Sea

Have you ever heard the story/joke about the man drowning, begging God to save Him?

Well, first someone throws him a life preserver, but he says, “No thank you! I am waiting for God to save me!”

Then a boat comes along & offers to rescue him as he screams to God for help… “No thank you!” he responds, “I am waiting for God to save me!”

Then a rescue helicopter comes & offers him a ladder to climb out of the choppy seas. “No thank you! I am waiting for God to save me!”

Well, eventually the man exhausts himself from treading water & crying out to God & the waves overtake him & he drowns at sea.

When he gets to heaven, he says, “God, why didn’t you save me?? I kept crying out to You!! Didn’t You hear me?? Didn’t You care?!?”

God patiently, gently rests His hand on the man’s shoulder & responds, “My son, I did hear you. I did listen. I sent you a life preserver, a boat, & finally a helicopter… But you didn’t accept any of it.”

That’s Where I Was… That’s What I Did

That was me during depression. I cried out to God. He responded. I accredited it to someone or something else & kept crying out to God to save me.

I would fall back into the darkness only to go back to relying on myself.

I doubted God too much to stay holding on to Him as my source for help because I didn’t know He was the One helping.

Thoughts of Suicide Became Plans for Suicide… But Then, GOD

And eventually, after years of asking (begging, through bleary eyes) for God to answer & clear up my doubts & to give me a true sense of hope & peace & security… I began to give up hope completely.

My temptation for suicide became more than just considerations… it became something that felt like my only hope.

No one wanted me (according to the lies in my head) & I wasn’t good for anything other than being a burden to everyone around me (again, the lies were ruthless & relentless).

No matter what I had tried to be strong enough, to smile through it, to think more positively, to ignore it, to find my own “happy”, to fight back, to be good enough… nothing EVER worked long term. They all crumbled eventually & they left me with nothing left to fight with.

I was done.

One Night… I Gave Up

And one night, through my desperate sobs, bringing me to my knees in my bedroom… Eventually weighing me down so much that I lay flat, face burrowed in the carpet…

I gave up fighting.

I was ready to die.

I was ready for the pain to stop because I couldn’t carry it anymore.

I didn’t feel I had any choice. I felt it was the merciful choice for a family & for friendships where I only caused them more drama, more burden, more pain.

I was ready to stop fighting. I had nothing left in me to try or to give.

I was tired & angry & hurt & felt unloved & invisible & mocked & ugly & fat & worthless & stupid & never good enough & weak & a burden. And I was so, so, SO tired.

One Night… I Stopped Trying to be “Strong Enough”

And as I lay there, face planted into the carpet, arms limp at my sides… legs lifeless… heart bleeding. No strength left to cry. Just numb & empty.

With barely a whisper worth of strength & hope left.

I prayed.

“God, don’t You hear me? Don’t I matter at all to You? Do You even exist? Are You laughing at me? Why won’t You help me? Why did You even make someone as worthless as me? [Sobs] I can’t do it anymore. I can’t fight. I have nothing left. If You are real, You are my ONLY option now nothing else works. My parents think I am drugged out. My sisters can’t seem to stand me… Many of my friends laugh at me like I’m a joke… My teachers don’t even bother anymore… I have nothing left. No one left. I can’t do it anymore, God. I’m not strong enough. If You really are God, You are my only hope. You are all that’s left. Please. Show me You are real, that You are near me & that You care for me. And if You can’t do that, kill me because I give up trying to be strong enough. Be my everything or let me die.”

One Night… God Changed EVERYTHING

And as my prayer faded… it happened.

Every ounce of hatred, of pain, loneliness, fear, doubt, anger, sadness, despair, sorrow, & everything that had pressed me down & down until I couldn’t stand anymore… EVERYTHING vanished in a single instant.

I felt a full breath of hope fill my lungs.

I felt goosebumps dance across every inch of skin.

I felt hope & love & joy & peace flood me like a rushing surge of water, racing to fill every broken place within me.

I felt FREE….

A smile danced at the corner of my mouth, erasing the bitterness & hopelessness.

I sat up, stunned.

I felt as if strong, warm arms wrapped around my entire self, squeezing the loneliness & fear into a safe embrace full of love.

And every doubt was shot dead in that one moment.

God Had a Plan That I Didn’t See… He Always Has a Plan

God wasn’t letting me suffer for the fun of it…. No!

He KNEW that unless He peeled away everything else that I clung to as my source of hope, I would just keep clinging to everything else but Him… Everything but real hope.

He knew those things weren’t my answer & that the lies I believed kept me imprisoned into believing I was left to rely on unsustainable, unstable sources… like myself… ones that crumbled & faded & ebbed & flowed.

He wanted me to know solid, secure ground. He wanted me to know what true, eternal hope felt like, apart from anything temporal & fleeting that I tried to cling to.

He knew that the ONLY way to show Himself as the One true source of Hope & Truth that would get my attention & STICK was to take everything else away where there was only Him left.

Truth Is Truth, & It SHALL Set You FREE!

I had asked, not for a temporary fix, but for TRUTH I could rest in & rely on & He did what He knew it would take to show me that it was found only in Him.

You see, if you are really seeking truth… not “truth” that you WANT to believe, but ACTUAL, REAL TRUTH… God is capable of knowing exactly how you will know 100% what that truth is. He can make it crystal clear (with no smudges of doubt!)

If you just want a “truth” that satiates you into living how you want, you will always be on the waves of the sea like I was… trying helplessly to cling to whatever you think might help, only to see it insufficient & far from lasting.

But if you want SURE faith that you can go ALL IN & not come out a fool.

If you want something you can securely build your life upon…

It’s in Him. It’s found ONLY Him.

So ask Him.

Not a SINGLE Regret… Only Praise! And Freedom!

If you think I regret for a SINGLE moment those several years of doubts & then depression & then eventual suicidal thoughts plaguing my life… you are DEAD WRONG.

I feel SO BLESSED & SO PRIVELEGED to KNOW 100% what I can count on.

Do I still make mistakes? Heck yes! Do I still have doubts pop up? Heck yes!

Is God patient to guide me & do I now finally have a source I can go to with FULL CONFIDENCE to answer those doubts with patience, love, grace, & TRUTH?

YES!!! A million times yes!

I Want You to Have Peace & Rest in REAL Truth… The Simple Grace Offered by Jesus

And I want that for you. It’s why I do this blog. It’s why I write when it’s not my strongest talent.

I want you to find that secure ground… That peace… That surety… That LOVE… & GRACE! I want you to know TRUTH!

 So come to Him with your doubts & don’t stop asking! He HEARS you!

Shine Hope, by trusting in the sure foundation of real, lasting, reliable TRUTH.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST to follow along with my journey of Pivot moments. I can’t wait to see you there!

And make sure to Subscribe (Join My Tribe), so you don’t miss it!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Quinn Necklace

This innovative statement piece is accented with white & silver beads & has a detachable bottom pendant (shown detached), creating two unique looks.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely! deused1 \lsd

Pivotal, Life-Changing Moments

Everybody has those moments… You know, the ones that seem to happen unexpectedly, when something about you or your life changes drastically, changing you forever in the process.

They seem to take your life, yell, “Pivot!!” (as only Ross from the show Friends can), & then make it change course from there on out.

I have had maybe ten or so of these life-changing moments that seem like they happened only yesterday because their memories are so vivid.

The First Pivot

So, let’s start with the simplest & earliest one of mine & take a journey through these pivotal moments in my life… a sort of autobiography if you will, except, instead of highlighting my life, we are showing a highlight reel of God’s work in my life.

The first one was the day that I met Jesus.

My Childhood At Church

I was fortunate to grow up in a Christian home. I knew it was important to pray & read my Bible & learn about God. I grew up going to Sunday School before the service & memorizing Bible verses in exchange for pieces of chocolate.

I wasn’t sure what it all meant or the difference between telling stories & which of the stories were actually true retellings in Scripture, because it just seemed like story-time to me at that young age… but something about it just felt right.

The Doubts Came Later…

As a child, I had a pure, simplistic faith in God. I didn’t have doubts to question it, I just accepted it as is, & knew deep-down that something about it just felt true.

Now, as I would grow older, the doubts would arise, seemingly unshakable, causing me to question everything I once believed with ease, unwilling to believe something merely because I was taught to believe it.

But, spoil alert, those doubts that seemed to haunt my every step, unwilling to waver or vanish, were demolished once and for all & my relationship with the grace of Jesus became personal & unshakable… but that’s a Pivot moment for another blog post.

Childlike Faith

As a child, though, my faith was sure. It was pure & trusting. Something in me just connected with it & accepted it without hesitation.

Like a child reaching up & taking the hand of an adult, I trusted that God was real.

I didn’t understand all the ins & outs. I didn’t know much about God. But something in me FELT Him there with me, holding my hand through life… & that was enough for me then.

The Simple, Life-Changing Gospel of God’s Grace

I still remember that day like it was yesterday (except I was much shorter & cuter back then), when I went & asked my parents how I could “ask Jesus into my heart”—the terminology that was used with us as kids.

In essence, all it meant was accepting that God was in charge & I was not… That me choosing to do things my way instead of His was wrong, foolish, & sinful… That I could never bridge the gap between my imperfections & sin to His perfection & grace because I was soiled by sin… But that Jesus came to pay my debt on the cross… That He overcame death & sin by rising from the grave… & that my trust in His salvation for me could cleanse me in the presence of God Almighty.

Accepting the gift of Jesus’ sacrifice on my behalf made me right with God. Not my works, but His.

My Understanding as a Child

And as a little child, around five or six, maybe, that made sense to me.

I knew I had acted selfishly sometimes by wanting toys for myself. I knew I talked back to my parents sometimes. I knew that I had messed up & that I didn’t deserve God.

But I also knew that Jesus had changed that for me… & I wanted to lean into that hope.

The Big Moment… The Pivot

And one night, on the couch in our living room of the house I grew up in… that prayer, led by my Mom, of asking forgiveness for my wrongs & helping me to follow Jesus instead of my way… & to trust Jesus’ gift of grace… is how I became a Christian.

It’s really as simple as that.

It’s not anything we can earn or purchase. It’s literally a free gift to anyone who can accept their need of it. It’s not fancy, specific scripts or recitations.

It’s just a simple, honest prayer, asking for God’s grace to cover your sins & trusting Him over yourself.

God’s Work in Me

No fireworks shot off… there was no fanfare… but it was Pivotal like nothing else.

God’s grace, through Jesus, is not something we have to “clean up for” first. It’s not something we have to prove we deserve. It’s not ever something we have to or can be “good enough” for.

It is simply an invitation to take us as we are, shameful history & all, & to change us from the inside out AS we lean into God for His work in us, AFTER we accept our need for His grace to save us.

His work, not ours.

Anything I do from here on is simply my way of expressing my gratitude & TRUST in the ways of the One Who saved me!

That’s the simplicity of the Gospel.

Forever Changed… In a Moment & Continually

The day that I accepted Jesus as Lord of my life, I was forever changed.

It happens all at once & over time.

I am immediately changed because Jesus’ sacrifice saves me once & for all from the threat of my deserved punishment of eternity in Hell.

And I am changed over time as I learn to bow my human nature to His will. He grows me, He shapes me. He takes the broken parts & makes them beautiful. He takes my temptations & teaches me to lean into Him for strength. He takes my weaknesses & uses them to show Himself capable. He takes my broken heart, mends it, heals it, & He pours His love into the empty crevices of my soul.

The Greatest Adventure Imaginable

He is my everything.

Am I perfect? Heck NO!

But I am now relying on the perfect God in my imperfections.

It’s the grandest adventure I ever imagined.

Learning to Know & Love God More

I once, in my early teen years, through the doubt storm, thought that God was all about rules & dictatorship… But as I grow, I see God as the most patient, loving Father & Friend who walks alongside me, strengthens me, guides me, & grows me into the woman He created me to be.

He heals my heart breaks.

He guides me through the storms of life.

He gives me sure foundation & peace when life flips upside down.

He bolsters me with His strength when mine fails.

He gives me wisdom when I feel lost.

He loves me when I feel unlovable.

He never forsakes me.

He always is quick to forgive me, patient through all of my failures.

He is grace & love & freedom & joy & strength & HOPE.

My Inadequacy Is Eclipsed by His Grace

And all the while, I am reminded how much my actions & inactions prove how much I do not deserve His grace, & yet that is the whole definition of grace, wrapped up in the idea that it is completely undeserved.

I am humbled constantly.

I feel foolish & stupid more often than I would like to admit as I try to live out this life on my own, fail miserably, only to be met with His patient smile, outstretched arms, & His wisdom & strength to get it right the next go around.

Not Perfect, But Trusting in the One Who Is

Christianity doesn’t make me perfect… It makes me redeemed in the sight of the One Who IS perfect.

And so begins my journey of big “Pivot!” type moments.

It all started with a simple trust, a simple faith in the grace of God.

It all started with the simple prayer of a child with childlike faith.

And that is where our journey begins.

Reflection… And an Invitation

Have you taken His outstretched hand yourself or are you holding out?

If Satan has tricked you into a pool of endless doubts & shame & rebellious resistance, but maybe you feel that soft, gentle whisper on your soul to come home, then start by asking God to clear your heart & mind to see Him for Who He really is, & not what the world has painted Him to be.

Ask Him to clear out your doubts & to reveal only the Truth.

Ask Him to guide you home so that your adventure can begin, too.

God is asking you to “Pivot!!” but in a much sweeter way & for a much grander purpose & with much more potential than you could ever imagine.

Will you listen?

I did, & it was the best decision I ever made, that led to the best adventure imaginable… as I live, grow, fail, & see Him along the way, loving me & growing me all along the way.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST for my next big Pivot moment.

God works in our lives in countless little & big moments, but I am especially excited to share the highlight reel of God’s work throughout my life, because every great change has been a result of His guiding me to grow. Grow with me!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side and off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

(*Also Pictured: Northern Lights Studs, made in India!)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Ducking underneath the low hanging vines, she stepped through the dark woods. Her senses were alert, taking in the sounds around her. Above her, the deep green leaves rustled in the wind. Around her were the sounds of the forest, the bustling of the scurrying critters, aware & nervous of her presence.

And behind her, she heard a branch crunched underfoot.

It wouldn’t be long now before she was caught, but she was determined to venture further into the mysterious darkness surrounding her.

Sunlight snuck through between branches, dancing on the dark stumps, soft moss, & green grass of the forest floor around her. The darkness seemed to dodge each sunbeam, but the light persisted, shining brightly through the shadows.

Another branch crunched behind her.

She edged forward, taking in the smells of the woods. The fresh air was intoxicating as she breathed deeply, relishing in the fresh scent of nature.

She reached out her arms as she strolled, allowing her fingertips to brush gently against the leaves & floral plants along her self-made path.

She could feel the soft earth beneath the thin soles of her sandals.

Everything seemed right to her, & yet, something was not quite right.

Something was off about this place. As much as she tried to embrace this dark forest of a home, she felt that she never belonged here–that she was never meant to be here.

Something always lurked in the shadows.

She was getting closer now, she could feel it. The air seemed fresher & the beauty surrounding her seemed to grow richer the closer she came.

Very soon now, she would arrive at her determined destination. She would finally be free of the darkness that followed her every step.

Another crunch behind her.

“You can’t run forever,” a deep voice spoke up from the dark.

“I can’t stay here forever either,” she whispered in return, unsure of whether she was even heard.

Undeterred, she continued to step forward, bold in her determination to finally break into the light.

She had grown so accustomed to the dark woods. As foreboding & dim as it was, it was all she ever knew.

Every rock & stump & creek & shadow were all familiar to her. It was her home.

But she also knew that it was a lie. It was something she settled for, not wanting to risk believing the tales of the bright place beyond her dark home.

Why give up everything she has ever known for a tale of something that could be merely a myth? Because somehow this “myth” seemed to beckon to her, calling her by name, lovingly inviting her to see for herself.

She couldn’t see it, but she could feel it. It was more real than anything she had ever physically seen or felt in her dark woods.

But her doubts kept her back for so long, asking her why she would risk trusting in something that she could not see for herself?

Despite her trepidation, she had realized that her thirst for something more than this dark forest beckoned her beyond her ability to deter or ignore it.

She wanted to believe there was more. She wanted to believe that there was something greater than this darkness she had come to accept.

 “It’s not worth it. You won’t be free anymore. Come back with me.” The deep voice stirred up doubts in her heart. She hesitated, halted in the midst of the forest life around her.

“I can’t,” she determined. “I can’t be content to stay trapped here. Something is missing & I want to know what it is. I want more.”

“You will regret it. There are rules. Here, you are free. Come back with me….” As she glanced back, a hand reached from the shadows & eyes gleamed in the darkness.

Something menacing crept through the calm look in those gleaming eyes.

“I… I won’t. Those rules others spoke of… they seem to be right somehow. And I am not free here. It is darkness. It is suffocating. Something is missing. I must know what it is.” She stammered, but as she spoke, courage seemed to bubble up within her, emboldening her to keep forward.

“I have to know the truth,” she determined, turning away from the voice.

A mingling of fear mixed with her newfound courage. Those gleaming eyes she had once accepted now left her feeling unsettled. Something about them sent chills up her spine. She wanted to get away from them.

Stepping more quickly, she decided that nothing would hold her back anymore. She wanted to see the light shine freely. She wanted to feel safe & secure. She wanted freedom from the darkness that encapsulated her life.

She didn’t know if she was somehow too late. She didn’t know if she would be counted worthy to leave the darkness & enter into the light, but she had to at least try.

This place she had come to love & accept seemed but a shadow of what called to her heart. She had to know & see it for herself.

The calm, deep voice seemed to morph in the shadows, an underlying threat seeming to cut into the words, “Come back now. You won’t like it there. It’s better here. Don’t hope for more. What more could you want than doing whatever it is you wish? This is the place you need to be. Stay here!”

Chills danced nervously on her skin as she pushed forward. She no longer had the nerve to look behind her. The voice had always seemed to placate her into never seeking out something better. But now, it seemed to threaten her, demanding that she not break free.

She broke into a run & then she stopped in her tracks when she saw it… Light breaking through the trees & a gentle looking man, made all of light, with arms outstretched & a wide, warm smile welcoming her approach.

All at once, something inside of her changed. She felt securely loved & cherished & protected & cared for & brave & strong & free & FORGIVEN.

Looking into His eyes broke chains that had been clinging to her-chains she had denied were even there. Fear & regret & shame seemed to melt into the ground beneath her with every step closer.

She no longer doubted.

The voice behind her sounded desperate now. “No! Stay here! It’s better here! You can do whatever you want! There are no rules! Don’t go there! I WANT CONTROL OF YOU!”

She broke into a sprint, straight toward this man she had never met & yet felt like someone she had known all her life.

He saw through her, every crack & every mistake. She could feel it. He KNEW her, even her worst!

And yet… warmth. Love… Grace.

As she reached Him, she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her dirtied cheeks, too overwhelmed by emotion to meet His eyes.

She was too unworthy. She wasn’t enough. She didn’t deserve this kindness.

And yet…

“My darling one, do not be afraid. You have been forgiven. My grace has covered you. You are free now.” His voice was sincere, gentle & kind. “Come to me, my daughter. I love you as you are. Welcome home.”

Her face tilted upwards, hesitant & humbled. Her eyes were red & & her cheeks tear-stained.

But something wonderful donned on her in that moment when her eyes met His.

She felt light. She felt… free.

She slowly, carefully rose to her feet, not taking her eyes from the gentle eyes that stared back.

Questions danced in her eyes, wondering if this could all be real… If she could really feel this secure & loved & forgiven & FREE… If she could really be accepted by Someone as kind & gracious & wonderful as He.

With knowing eyes, He nodded in affirmation, understanding her hesitation, & a genuine smile spread across His face, His arms still open wide.

“Welcome home, darling one,” He said as He spread His arms even wider, beckoning her into His welcoming embrace.

This time, she didn’t even pause before closing the distance into the best hug she had ever known… one that seemed to erase in an instant every heartache she had carried throughout her entire lifetime.

She was FINALLY home & she never wanted to go back to the darkness that was once her life.

*****************

After that day, she quickly realized that life still had its complications & she still made mistakes on a regular basis. But something was different now. It was as if she was being changed from the inside out. The more she got to know the Man who welcomed her into light, the more her heart seemed to grow in wisdom, strength, & peace.

She could feel His strength working through her. His courage replaced her fears when faced with difficult circumstances as she learned to trust Him through each storm.

She now could ask Him for wisdom in any situation, no longer relying on the limitations of her own understanding.

And she knew grace as a way of life. His grace seemed to flow through EVERYTHING.

She no longer lived each day trying to survive the dark world she once called home.

He lit her path. He guided her steps. He cared for her & loved her & cherished her soul.

His grace flowed through it all, allowing her freedom she had never known before.

And never came a day where she regretted leaving the darkness of the forest she had once called home because now she knew the stories were true.

The Bright Place was not actually a destination to arrive at, but a Someone to love her unconditionally… A Someone who gave of His own life to cover her wrongs… A Someone who conquered death & sits on the right hand of God’s throne. A Someone more wonderful & powerful & gracious than any she had ever known.

A Someone named Jesus.

And now, instead of living in the darkness… She lived in GRACE.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Holly Necklace

Co-Founder of Trades of Hope, Holly’s, passion is to empower women to be all God created them to be & to live out their potential. Whether she is visiting the brothels of Asia or in hometown USA, her desire is to see women live out their calling with pride & dignity. This piece is a reflection of the pride & skills a woman rescued from the brothels has when given the opportunity. A delicate piece, this golden/pink druzy necklace sparkles in the light.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

(*Also Pictured: Lagoon Studs, empowering women out of poverty in India!)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

It’s My Way or The Highway

It’s easy to go through life on our own terms.

We naturally go through life the best way we know how. We live according to what seems right to us.

We understand we aren’t perfect, but we do our best.

Sometimes we beat ourselves up when we don’t get it right… Sometimes we blame others… & still other times, we blame circumstances.

But we inevitably determine to get back up & try again in the way that seems best to us.

Suck It Up, Buttercup… Or Not

Life is hard. No one can go through life without struggle, without mistakes, without regrets.

Although we can brush it all off with a, “I have no regrets, only lessons learned!”… Deep down, we know things could have gone better, but they didn’t.

Have you ever felt trapped by wrong choices? Like they define you in some way now?

Have you ever bolstered yourself to be strong & bold in light of your mistakes, eager &/or desperate not to show weakness or vulnerability, while silently feeling the pain underneath the façade?

Do you ever get tired of trying to have it all together?

I do.

Survival of the Fittest

I don’t know where we ever got the idea that we have to have it all together. Maybe it’s instinctual not to show weakness or vulnerability. Maybe it’s stubborn pride, not wanting to admit defeat.

Whatever it is, it’s hard.

God is slowly teaching me how often I do what seems right in my own eyes, versus humbly bowing my actions, decisions, & feelings under His able care.

He’s Right There All Along

You see, we often wait until we’re falling apart to cry out to God for help, when He has been right alongside us the whole time.

We don’t have to have it all together. We don’t have to have all the answers or always get it right.

We are limited in our understanding, wisdom, strength… But He is not.

Doing What Is Right in Our Own Eyes

In studying through Psalm 107 recently, with a Bible Study called Steadfast Love, by Lauren Chandler, I was reminded over & over through that particular chapter how those people started out doing what was right in their own eyes way before they started openly rebelling.

Coincidence? I think not.

Why? Because when we go through life on auto-pilot, just doing what we think is best, we will inevitably not get it all right because we cannot ever see every facet of every particular circumstance.

We Want Him to Make OUR Plan Work

And the more times we mess up, the more difficult our lives get… & the more difficult our lives get, the more we wonder why God isn’t fixing it & wondering where He is in all of it….

And the more we doubt God, the more we feel slighted by God… & the more we feel slighted or neglected by God, the more we tend to rebel against God.

… Even though He was right there all along, offering His help along the way….

Instead of asking God to help us follow HIS WAY, we often only ask for Him to make OUR way work.

Learning to Trust Our Savior

But when we flip the script to NOT do what is right in our own eyes, but instead ask for Him to guide us in HIS way of doing things, we get to see HIM work miracles. We get to see His hand guiding & shaping & upholding & strengthening us along every step of the way.

And as we live, drawing constantly from His wisdom, His way, His strength, His power, His love… we see things fit into place much more nicely & we grow in trust when things don’t go well because of the sin of others around us. We get to rest in His ability to uphold & strengthen us with His peace.

And we’re much less likely to rebel when we are receiving His life flowing through our lives. The Vine to His branches.

We’re Meant to Live by His Design

You see, we’re not meant to live life in a way that seems right to us… We’re meant to ask our Designer, Creator God what HIS design for our lives is meant to be & to do our best to lean into Him as He guides the way on the greatest adventure of our lives.

We weren’t meant to just be born, survive, & then die.

We were meant for a purpose… to change lives… to love others intentionally… to shine hope into the darkness… to be an impactful force for good… to serve the Most High God, Creator of heaven & earth & Lover of our souls.

Baby Steps… Pray & Ask

If you are like me & you struggle to release the tight grip of the reins of your life, struggling to trust that God can do a better job with your life than you can… start by being honest with God in that fear.

Put a toe into the water. Ask God to help give you the courage to dive in. Ask Him to help you trust Him with the little things. Ask Him to help you have the wisdom & humility to seek His way above your own. Ask Him to have His potential of your life fleshed out through seeking Him. Ask Him to help you to know & love Him more EACH DAY. Ask Him to help you TRUST HIM.

I will tell you with all honesty that those prayers have been the most influential, life-changing, purpose-enlightening, peace-churning questions I have ever asked in my entire life.

He’s Got This… & You

He knows what He’s doing. He’s walking alongside you, waiting for you to plug into Him as the vine, so His life & wisdom & peace & love & grace & strength can flow through you & produce fruit that also nourishes those around you.

Will you connect to the Vine?

He is waiting to nourish you. He loves you too much to let you be content with an empty, tiresom façade.

He loves you.

Shine Hope, by plugging into Him as your source of hope!

Coming Soon

Check back on Thursday for our monthly Special Feature post, shared every last Thursday of the month! Will it be a poem? A short story? Tales of our adventures overseas? Come back Thursday to check!

Also, join me every Monday morning for your next post of encouragement as we learn together how to give our all to our God who gives His all for us.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Truth Earrings

These incredibly light earrings are made with genuine local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

(*Also Pictured: Sea Glass Necklace made in Jordan!*)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Are They Laughing At Me?

Who else here struggles with social anxiety, even occasionally? (*Raises hand!)

I saw a meme recently that had showed an inner self dialogue between a young woman & her anxiety. It went something like…

*Walks into a crowded room… Notices some ladies laughing*

Anxiety: They’re laughing at you.

Me: But I don’t even know them…!

Anxiety: But they’re laughing at you.

Me: … They’re laughing at me….

It’s funny because it’s true. (And maybe it happens way more often than we’d like to admit?)

The Cruel Tricks of Anxiety

Anxiety can play some mean tricks on us sometimes & us women seem to be plagued by it often.

We oftentimes struggle comparing our lives to others. For example, my husband says he doesn’t especially like social media because it can be so harmful only seeing the good moment snapshots of someone else’s life, without seeing the whole picture.

They Have It Together… Or Maybe Not

If you’re anything like me, it is so easy to look at someone’s snapshot of a win for them & think they have it all together, making it glaringly obvious how much I do not have it all together.

Maybe you read my blog or watch my videos either regularly or occasionally & think to yourself, “Wow, this chick has it all together with her faith & her life & her marriage.”

I will be the first to laugh at that & tell you, “I most certainly DO NOT have it all together!”

The Endless List of Ways I Do NOT Have My Life Together

Jamie & I still have misunderstanding & get annoyed with each other on occasion.

I make mistakes constantly, most of which end up being the inspiration for blog posts, because I first royally screwed things up BEFORE turning to God to ask for wisdom & His power to fix it.

I tend to act first & pray second, often resulting in big messes, tears, & lessons learned. I am so glad God is a God of GRACE & seemingly endless PATIENCE, aren’t you!?

Divisive Lies Abound

But going back to our topic, there are so many divisive lies that we believe about ourselves & others, which end up keeping us apart, versus being unified in encouraging & uplifting one another.

Sometimes, we can become embarrassed in a specific situation & then we tend to avoid eye contact with the people involved, considering all of the things they must think about you now, after the fact.

Other times, we don’t even have to be involved in an embarrassing moment to have our insecurities take the mental reins & make us feel less than worthy to associate with certain women.

And still, other times, we are completely misreading, misinterpreting, & misperceiving reality completely, making us draw conclusions about the other person or our view of how the other person must see us.

Inner Thoughts of Anxiety

“They must think I am an IDIOT after that! Oh goodness, I can’t look them in the face anymore!”

“Wow, I just showed them my true colors & now they must think I am lame compared to how cool they always seem to be!”

“I just completely lost it just then, they must think I am either a weakling or just plain crazy!”

“All the other wives (or moms) seem to be so good at ___________________ & I am just not. They probably think I am a terrible wife (or mom).”

“They looked at me funny. I don’t think they like me. They’re so much more confident than me.”

Satan Knows Where to Hit Us

You see, our minds can play some pretty nasty tricks. And Satan knows exactly where our weak spots are & likes to exploit them whenever possible.

But God is bigger. God is stronger. God is more powerful, more wise, more loving.

So much of the reason we are not more unified as Christian women, is because we are letting these embarrassments, insecurities, & misperceptions be our road map in our interactions with other women.

Dispelling the Lies, Praying, & Clinging to Truth

We no doubt miss out on some wonderful encouragement & opportunities to encourage others because of this truth & it would benefit us all to stop & pray in those moments where divisive lies threaten to keep us apart.

“God, do they think I’m an idiot? Or am I just being insecure? Help me to rise above my insecurity & embarrassment so I can be an encourager to them. Don’t let me jump to conclusions. Even if she does think that, help me to still be a good friend to her. Amen.”

“God, help me to remember that no one is perfect. I am not expected to be perfect. I am just human. And even though they seem to have it all together, help me to see them as a human who needs encouragement just as much as I do. Help me to overcome my own insecurities of my own imperfections, & help me to see her as a human in need of support, just like me. Amen.”

“God, I made a mistake. Please forgive me & help me to make it right. Please help them to be gracious to me & help me to be humble. I know that we all make mistakes, but help me to rectify this for Your glory instead of avoiding it to save face. Help bring unity here. Amen.”

“God, my weaknesses & faults seem SO OBVIOUS when I see other women do those things so well. Help me to be able to love them in THEIR strengths, while appreciating the strengths You have given me. They are not perfect either, so help me to be able to help where they need it & please keep my pride at bay so I can serve them when they need the help & help me to grow in areas where I am weak or failing. Amen.”

“God, I know that we all have insecurities of certain things, so help me not let my anxiety rule my thoughts. Help me to overcome my fears & help me to be bold in loving & encouraging others. Amen.”

Keep Your Eyes on Jesus & Draw Your Truth & Encouragement from Him

You see, perspective changes things.

We can either avoid, hide, & push others away, or we can take those insecurities to our able & POWERFUL God Who is willing & waiting to help us.

Learn to change the inner dialogue from fear to trust… avoidance to prayer.

We have all learned coping mechanisms to help us protect ourselves from hurt & oftentimes, we miss out on WONDERFUL friendships because we let our self-protection get in the way of restoration & healing. So… PRAY!

We All Have Our Strengths… We All Have Our Weaknesses…

When you worry about whether or not someone dislikes you or is too cool to want to be friends, remember that we all have our strengths, but we also all have our weaknesses… & that oftentimes, our ideas of other people’s dislike of us is a misperception built on our own insecurities.

Let prayer rule the day & kick that social anxiety OUT.

Let God Give VICTORY

Don’t let Satan’s lies keep you isolated. Let GOD trump those lies with His truth, grace, love, power, & wisdom. He’s got enough to share.

Love you!! And if we met in person, even if I have resting snooty face… it’s probably me just being insecure & thinking inwardly about my own faults, not yours!

We’re all a work in progress! Hug it out, pray it over, & encourage one another in love!

Shine Hope by praying out the insecurities & praying for the boldness to LIVE LOVE.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning EST for more encouragement!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eternity Necklace

Multiple mix metal chains are hugged by a metal curved tube to create this simple yet elegant piece with a lobster clasp closure.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write and grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to help end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!