Cancelled Plans

Today has been a weird day for me. I had planned to continue writing about doubts this week, but in light of my day, I wanted to hit pause & take a detour.

I was supposed to be heading to Tokyo this morning & enjoying a fun anniversary week at Disney. I was excited.

A couple days ago, I would have gotten a massage for a great price on base, gone for an anniversary pedicure, & received a fresh haircut to liven up my hair a bit.

I would have done my own nails Disney-style (probably Minnie Mouse) & packed my Hakuna Matata shirt & rose gold Minnie ears for our exciting trip.

I would have eaten Guzman y Gomez Mexican food for dinner (a big deal since Mexican food is very uncommonly found in Japan) & my husband & I would have enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere of Ikspiari (a Disney-owned mall near there).

I would probably be exhausted, but I would be happy, excited for the week ahead.

But the virus came & our flight got refunded & here we are at home.

Things I Know…

I know it is such a tiny thing to complain about in light of people getting sick & losing jobs & losing hard-earned businesses they worked hard to own.

I know I have so many blessings to appreciate in my life, like a husband who maybe isn’t perfect (but neither am I) but who loves me & who I can enjoy long walks, talks, & laughter with & I know that not everyone has that.

I know God is good & that He has a plan in all of this. I KNOW that. I know He is still at work & is using this upset in our lives to draw us into His loving arms & to let go of trying to hold the world together on our own.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

But, on top of my missed trip, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, as the saying goes.

It has been a series of unfortunate events/circumstances today. I won’t bore you or bog you down with the details, but they’re all minor inconveniences that have just added up to act as sand or salt in an already present wound.

Showing Up, But Never Perfect

Like I said, I attempted to start my post on Part 2 of Countering Doubts with Truth, but today, I just needed you to know that I don’t have it all together. I have hard days sometimes, too. I don’t always handle them with grace & patience, either.

I have grumpy days & days where my stubborn heart crosses its “arms” as if to say, “I don’t want to be cheered up. I just want to mope today.” Anyone relate?

In the Past… But Not Today, Satan

But I refuse to allow this to be a foothold for Satan to make me doubt God’s goodness & love.

In the past, I would have wondered if God even cares about my hurt feelings or my struggle. I would have wondered if He even cares about me, knowing it meant a lot to me.

I would have doubted that God COULD even help me.

I would have felt that I had experienced “too much” good & that God was evening the scales a bit. (He doesn’t do that.)

But not today.

God’s Blessings in the Good AND the Bad

We tend to give God credit for blessings when all in our life is going smoothly & well—in other words, when life is going OUR way. “God is so GOOD! AMEN! Hallelujah!”

But what about when it’s not? What then?

Where is He then?

He is in your cries. He is in your heartache with you.

God Loves Us & Cares for Us, Even THROUGH Our Heartaches

We’re not promised that life will always go OUR way.

We ARE promised a whole heck of a lot about how much God loves & cares for us, though.

If you don’t believe me, read the Bible.

If you still don’t believe me, ask God to show you Himself. He can & He will.

He Is Still Faithful

Today is not the easiest day for me. I’m not handling it well. I am insisting on a bad attitude when I know I could let Him help me right it.

But He is still faithful & still standing by, as it were, to offer me His mighty yet gentle hand.

Yes, I don’t get my way today, neither with my big anniversary plans, nor with the little annoyances that keep disrupting my day.

BUT, I can slump into Him & I can cry & He will hear me & love me through it.

He Will Love Me through It

In the hurt & disappointments & cancelled plans, He will show me I can trust Him & His big picture plan, even if I don’t understand why things feel so wrong & hard for me right now.

He won’t tell me to tough it up. He understands.

He will just let me lean on Him in all my weakness & pathetic stubbornness… & He will love me.

He Will Show Me

He will show me that life doesn’t have to go perfectly for me to be perfectly loved.

He will show me that life doesn’t have to go my way for it to work out best, because HE knows best.

He will show me that when I am weak, I am strong, because it is then that I stop clinging to myself for hope & start looking to Him for it.

Not my plans, but His.

Not my way, but His.

He loves me. He is mighty. He is gentle & kind.

He is faithful even when I am faithless.

He gently lifts my chin up to Him & whispers over me, “I know, “one I love”, I know. I see you. I am here. I am enough. Lean into me. I love you so much. Trust me & cling to me. I’ve got you.”

A Prayer of Thanks-In the Midst of the Gloom, God Still Blesses

Thank You, God, for not requiring me to be “with it” all the time. Thank You for loving me even in my less than pretty moments. Thank You for being faithful always & for Your all-wise, all-knowing, love-wrapped plan. Thank You that I can still trust You even when my plans fail. Thank You for all You do that I don’t give You credit for. Thank You for loving me when I have an ugly heart. You are steadfast & sure. You are reliable & kind & so powerful. And yet, you love me. Thank YOU. Help me in my gloomy days to always see the light of hope I have in You. This is my temporary home, a mere shadow of the glorious place where You are that I will one day see & call my forever home. Thank You for all You have done, are doing, & will do. You are God. You are eternal. You are LOVE. THANK YOU! Amen.

It’s okay to have weak days.

Cling to Him, slump into Him, cry out to Him. He is listening & He loves you dearly… ALWAYS.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Truth Earrings

These incredibly light earrings are made with genuine local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

How Low Can You Go?

Have you ever gone through something really rough? Like test-your-faith rough?

Have you ever faced a pain that made you want to doubt God’s goodness? Or whether He cared about you or even saw you?

Have you ever felt like your life was defined by the hours you spent crying each day? Like the dark clouds seemed to never relent? Like your dark days could never get darker but always did?

I have.

Pain Is Real & We All Face It

I have been through depression & times of constant, high anxiety. I have had my heart shattered into seemingly millions of pieces. I have fought against the trailing effects of trauma. I have feared a deteriorating marriage. I have felt unworthy of having children because I wasn’t given any. I have faced betrayal by close friends. I have lived through devastating deserts of loneliness where no one seemed to understand or know how to help.

I have cried out to God & felt unheard.

Hindsight Guilt

When I have emerged on the other side of those treacherously painful valleys by God’s hand, I have looked back with shame for doubting God’s power & goodness & love for me.

I remembered the nights of crying, “Where ARE YOU???!”

All my life, I self-condemned for those moments where my faith slipped, letting Satan torment me with how unfaithful I really am in trusting God… with thoughts of how “terrible a Christian” I am for ever having those thoughts & worries & pain barrage my thought life & prayers–as if feeling pain meant I didn’t have enough faith.

A New Perspective

But lately, God has been shining a light on a new perspective.

In reading through the Psalms with a study group, I noticed that a vast majority of the Psalms were just like my prayers during those terribly painful moments of my life.

I noticed, too, how that theme of lamentation even flows through several books in the Bible in times of distress.

And finally, I started to see how human it is to feel these emotions & hurts.

An Important Distinction- Complaint Vs. Lament

You see, there is a very important difference between complaining & lamenting.

Complaining seeks support, but spreads the dissention & worry & heaviness among others who cannot improve the situation. It also implies there is no hope.

Lamenting to God seeks His support, focusing through the storms of life on HIS ability to help.

Complaining focuses on the source of the problem, while lamenting to God focuses on the Source of the Solution TO the problem-GOD.

Our Impossible Is, to Him, Always Possible

When we cry out to Him, no matter how impossible it may seem that He might be able to fix it, we are exercising our “mustard seed faith…” (Matthew 17:20) that even if we doubt how God can or will help us, we know deep down that if anyone CAN help us, it WILL be Him.

That’s the distinction.

When we complain, we spread & grow bitterness, not solving the problem nor seeking the One who can.

When we lament in prayers to Him, we are recognizing that whether or not we see a possible light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, that God is where our help will come from.

It Is Okay to be Human-That Is What You Are, After All

It is okay to fall apart. It is okay to feel the weight of your world crashing around you when something unimaginably hard crosses our path. We are only human & can only endure so much in our own strength.

It is okay to mourn. It is okay to struggle.

Where Does Your Hope Come From? My Hope Is in the Lord

But the key is where do you turn as your source of Hope & Help & Healing?

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God & not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed….” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)

It may seem to crush us under the weight of seeming impossibility, but God is a God of making the impossible possible.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

Cling to God in Distress & Tell Satan to Shut It

So, don’t let Satan riddle you with guilt & shame for feeling so beat up & crying out about it to God.

Instead, take your laments to God, pour out your honest heart (I promise He can handle your worst), & call out to Him in your distress, even if all you have to offer is your mustard seed-sized faith.

Not HOW MUCH Faith, But in WHOM You Have Faith

Remember, a mustard-seed-sized faith can move a mountain… In other words, it seems impossible, & you feel you have so little faith in it ever even BEING possible, but it’s the WHO you have faith in versus the HOW MUCH faith you have that makes the impossible POSSIBLE.

So, cry out to Him. Lay it all on Him, even when you feel you have nothing left to offer.

And if Satan tries to guilt you for feeling hopeless when you are crying out to God for hope, tell him to get out & leave you alone. Because God hears you. He doesn’t expect you to clean up the mess that you are first. He doesn’t expect you to understand all His ways. He just asks you to trust HIM in the mess.

Weakness Invites Us to See All God Can Do in Light of Our Inability

Looking back & reading through the Psalms, I am reminded that it is only human to feel overwhelmed by what we cannot control or ease, but that we are invited to come to God, pour it all out to Him, & seek His help.

God can do GREAT things with your very little.

Shine HOPE by trusting the WHO behind your faith, not the HOW MUCH faith.

He’s GOT you. He is able & He is willing.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Manilla Bay Earrings

Local capiz shell is dyed a light blue/green hue and hand cut into half moon shapes accented with silver toned metal.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Blinders

We often go through life never questioning what we see & do every day, not even aware that there could be any other way… because it’s simply what we’ve always “known” to be true….

But God tells us NOT to trust what we see, but instead to trust HIM & His Truth (the Bible)—& that’s what my recent pivotal moments series was all about—seeing that God knows more than I do, corresponding with major perspective shifts of trusting His way over my own.

“Blessed Are the Poor in Spirit”

For example, the Bible says, in Matthew 5 “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” NOT “blessed are those who beat up on themselves inwardly, are shy, self-deprecating….” But rather, “Blessed are those who recognize their own depravity, that there is absolutely NOTHING they can do to earn their own redemption, but that Jesus Christ Himself paid their debt FOR them (IN FULL) & now all they have to do is lean into HIM for hope, versus STRAINING & FAKING to try to be good enough on their own, ever failing at those efforts, because Christ already paid IN FULL!”

It seems impossible to feel blessed in recognizing our own depravity & owning up to it… but in it comes so much richness of freedom when we replace our tireless efforts with God’s heroic rescue & love for our souls, giving healing, peace, strength, renewal, a fresh start, & eternal redemption in exchange for us placing our hope in Him.

I’ve Got This!

My whole life, I wanted (& still often want) to feel capable & assured in & of myself. I mean, who doesn’t?

It feels safe & comfortable & “reliable” to feel like our security, peace, & hope can be produced by us, rather than taking the risk of relying on others for it.

We always hear slogans centered on the idea that we can make our dream a reality, that it’s up to us…. That we are “good enough”.

But somehow, those ideas, reassuringly soothing as they may sound on the surface, always seem to fall short when brought into reality.

Why? Because we all know, deep down, that we will fail even ourselves.

We know we are NOT enough.

And there is freedom & blessedness in coming to that realization… when we also realize that God IS enough FOR us.

God As Our Hope

We don’t have to produce our own hope. God is our hope, through Christ.

We have all been let down. We have all experienced the mistakes & failures of others (as well as the let downs of our own failures & mistakes).

A lot of trauma can come from someone else’s “good intentions” when those good intentions went wrong because they were based on human understanding/logic versus yielding in submission to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, through prayer.

It’s just life. It’s just us doing the best we know.

But blessedness comes in knowing that God is in control, not us & not anyone else… & even more so in recognizing that we cannot save ourselves, but He can.

Not a Jab at You, But a RELIEF

Submitting to that Truth brings such relief. It takes the pressure off of our own shoulders to always be enough for ourselves & for everyone else (including God), & allows us the breathing space to accept that we were never meant to be enough… that God is already enough FOR US & that’s the very reason that the hope found in Jesus is so liberating!

Keep Reminding Yourself

Take a deep breath, Lovely, & let it out slowly.

Do it again. Take a deep breath… & let it out slowly.

Close your eyes & tell yourself, “I don’t have to be “enough” because God is enough FOR ME. He paid my debt to set me free. He offers HIS comfort, HIS strength, HIS power, HIS wisdom, HIS guidance, HIS HOPE. I don’t have to be enough. He is enough already & always will be.”

Release yourself from the lies we grew up believing & trust God as your path to hope, through Christ’s sacrifice for you.

Magnify the Magnificent with Your Life

Should we strive to live in a way that magnifies His name & demonstrates His love for this hurting world? Yes. Does it secure our salvation or earn us God’s love? No. We already have that if we have put our trust in Jesus.

So, find blessedness in your depravity today & every day.

You’re Right… I’m Not Enough… But God Is, & That’s Why I Need Him

And when Satan tries to tell you, “Give up! You’re never good enough! You always fail everybody! You are not enough!”

Well then, sister, you stand up tall, square your shoulders & you remind him & yourself, by saying, “You’re right. I am not enough. I am frail & I mess up often, but you know what… I was never meant to be enough. That is why I need Jesus’ sacrifice, God’s grace, & the help of the Holy Spirit. He is enough FOR ME. So, you’re right, Satan, I am not enough… but that’s okay because Jesus is!”

I heard that scenario on the radio one day as someone retold this realization & turning point in their life from letting Satan beat him up in his failures to claiming Jesus’ victory & it always stuck with me.

“You’re right, Satan. I’m not enough. But Jesus is, & that is the exact reason why I need Him.”

And He is enough for you, too.

Accept Your Depravity… Knowing Your Hope Is in Jesus

So, cling to Him. Accept your depravity. Don’t beat yourself up because you were never meant to be enough.

And, above all, trust in the enoughness of God Almighty, Jesus our Redeemer, & the wisdom, comfort, strength, & guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Learn to rely on yourself less & on Him more & more every day.

Because that, Lovely, is where you find your blessedness.

Shine Hope In Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain, this piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!