Ducking underneath the low hanging vines, she stepped through the dark woods. Her senses were alert, taking in the sounds around her. Above her, the deep green leaves rustled in the wind. Around her were the sounds of the forest, the bustling of the scurrying critters, aware & nervous of her presence.

And behind her, she heard a branch crunched underfoot.

It wouldn’t be long now before she was caught, but she was determined to venture further into the mysterious darkness surrounding her.

Sunlight snuck through between branches, dancing on the dark stumps, soft moss, & green grass of the forest floor around her. The darkness seemed to dodge each sunbeam, but the light persisted, shining brightly through the shadows.

Another branch crunched behind her.

She edged forward, taking in the smells of the woods. The fresh air was intoxicating as she breathed deeply, relishing in the fresh scent of nature.

She reached out her arms as she strolled, allowing her fingertips to brush gently against the leaves & floral plants along her self-made path.

She could feel the soft earth beneath the thin soles of her sandals.

Everything seemed right to her, & yet, something was not quite right.

Something was off about this place. As much as she tried to embrace this dark forest of a home, she felt that she never belonged here–that she was never meant to be here.

Something always lurked in the shadows.

She was getting closer now, she could feel it. The air seemed fresher & the beauty surrounding her seemed to grow richer the closer she came.

Very soon now, she would arrive at her determined destination. She would finally be free of the darkness that followed her every step.

Another crunch behind her.

“You can’t run forever,” a deep voice spoke up from the dark.

“I can’t stay here forever either,” she whispered in return, unsure of whether she was even heard.

Undeterred, she continued to step forward, bold in her determination to finally break into the light.

She had grown so accustomed to the dark woods. As foreboding & dim as it was, it was all she ever knew.

Every rock & stump & creek & shadow were all familiar to her. It was her home.

But she also knew that it was a lie. It was something she settled for, not wanting to risk believing the tales of the bright place beyond her dark home.

Why give up everything she has ever known for a tale of something that could be merely a myth? Because somehow this “myth” seemed to beckon to her, calling her by name, lovingly inviting her to see for herself.

She couldn’t see it, but she could feel it. It was more real than anything she had ever physically seen or felt in her dark woods.

But her doubts kept her back for so long, asking her why she would risk trusting in something that she could not see for herself?

Despite her trepidation, she had realized that her thirst for something more than this dark forest beckoned her beyond her ability to deter or ignore it.

She wanted to believe there was more. She wanted to believe that there was something greater than this darkness she had come to accept.

 “It’s not worth it. You won’t be free anymore. Come back with me.” The deep voice stirred up doubts in her heart. She hesitated, halted in the midst of the forest life around her.

“I can’t,” she determined. “I can’t be content to stay trapped here. Something is missing & I want to know what it is. I want more.”

“You will regret it. There are rules. Here, you are free. Come back with me….” As she glanced back, a hand reached from the shadows & eyes gleamed in the darkness.

Something menacing crept through the calm look in those gleaming eyes.

“I… I won’t. Those rules others spoke of… they seem to be right somehow. And I am not free here. It is darkness. It is suffocating. Something is missing. I must know what it is.” She stammered, but as she spoke, courage seemed to bubble up within her, emboldening her to keep forward.

“I have to know the truth,” she determined, turning away from the voice.

A mingling of fear mixed with her newfound courage. Those gleaming eyes she had once accepted now left her feeling unsettled. Something about them sent chills up her spine. She wanted to get away from them.

Stepping more quickly, she decided that nothing would hold her back anymore. She wanted to see the light shine freely. She wanted to feel safe & secure. She wanted freedom from the darkness that encapsulated her life.

She didn’t know if she was somehow too late. She didn’t know if she would be counted worthy to leave the darkness & enter into the light, but she had to at least try.

This place she had come to love & accept seemed but a shadow of what called to her heart. She had to know & see it for herself.

The calm, deep voice seemed to morph in the shadows, an underlying threat seeming to cut into the words, “Come back now. You won’t like it there. It’s better here. Don’t hope for more. What more could you want than doing whatever it is you wish? This is the place you need to be. Stay here!”

Chills danced nervously on her skin as she pushed forward. She no longer had the nerve to look behind her. The voice had always seemed to placate her into never seeking out something better. But now, it seemed to threaten her, demanding that she not break free.

She broke into a run & then she stopped in her tracks when she saw it… Light breaking through the trees & a gentle looking man, made all of light, with arms outstretched & a wide, warm smile welcoming her approach.

All at once, something inside of her changed. She felt securely loved & cherished & protected & cared for & brave & strong & free & FORGIVEN.

Looking into His eyes broke chains that had been clinging to her-chains she had denied were even there. Fear & regret & shame seemed to melt into the ground beneath her with every step closer.

She no longer doubted.

The voice behind her sounded desperate now. “No! Stay here! It’s better here! You can do whatever you want! There are no rules! Don’t go there! I WANT CONTROL OF YOU!”

She broke into a sprint, straight toward this man she had never met & yet felt like someone she had known all her life.

He saw through her, every crack & every mistake. She could feel it. He KNEW her, even her worst!

And yet… warmth. Love… Grace.

As she reached Him, she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her dirtied cheeks, too overwhelmed by emotion to meet His eyes.

She was too unworthy. She wasn’t enough. She didn’t deserve this kindness.

And yet…

“My darling one, do not be afraid. You have been forgiven. My grace has covered you. You are free now.” His voice was sincere, gentle & kind. “Come to me, my daughter. I love you as you are. Welcome home.”

Her face tilted upwards, hesitant & humbled. Her eyes were red & & her cheeks tear-stained.

But something wonderful donned on her in that moment when her eyes met His.

She felt light. She felt… free.

She slowly, carefully rose to her feet, not taking her eyes from the gentle eyes that stared back.

Questions danced in her eyes, wondering if this could all be real… If she could really feel this secure & loved & forgiven & FREE… If she could really be accepted by Someone as kind & gracious & wonderful as He.

With knowing eyes, He nodded in affirmation, understanding her hesitation, & a genuine smile spread across His face, His arms still open wide.

“Welcome home, darling one,” He said as He spread His arms even wider, beckoning her into His welcoming embrace.

This time, she didn’t even pause before closing the distance into the best hug she had ever known… one that seemed to erase in an instant every heartache she had carried throughout her entire lifetime.

She was FINALLY home & she never wanted to go back to the darkness that was once her life.

*****************

After that day, she quickly realized that life still had its complications & she still made mistakes on a regular basis. But something was different now. It was as if she was being changed from the inside out. The more she got to know the Man who welcomed her into light, the more her heart seemed to grow in wisdom, strength, & peace.

She could feel His strength working through her. His courage replaced her fears when faced with difficult circumstances as she learned to trust Him through each storm.

She now could ask Him for wisdom in any situation, no longer relying on the limitations of her own understanding.

And she knew grace as a way of life. His grace seemed to flow through EVERYTHING.

She no longer lived each day trying to survive the dark world she once called home.

He lit her path. He guided her steps. He cared for her & loved her & cherished her soul.

His grace flowed through it all, allowing her freedom she had never known before.

And never came a day where she regretted leaving the darkness of the forest she had once called home because now she knew the stories were true.

The Bright Place was not actually a destination to arrive at, but a Someone to love her unconditionally… A Someone who gave of His own life to cover her wrongs… A Someone who conquered death & sits on the right hand of God’s throne. A Someone more wonderful & powerful & gracious than any she had ever known.

A Someone named Jesus.

And now, instead of living in the darkness… She lived in GRACE.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Holly Necklace

Co-Founder of Trades of Hope, Holly’s, passion is to empower women to be all God created them to be & to live out their potential. Whether she is visiting the brothels of Asia or in hometown USA, her desire is to see women live out their calling with pride & dignity. This piece is a reflection of the pride & skills a woman rescued from the brothels has when given the opportunity. A delicate piece, this golden/pink druzy necklace sparkles in the light.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

(*Also Pictured: Lagoon Studs, empowering women out of poverty in India!)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Sounds Good to Me…

We all like to think of ourselves as good people, don’t we?

Except for those low days that we may feel self-loathing, we generally feel like we are pretty good.

At least I do.

Maybe it’s because we help others who are hurting. Maybe we give money to people in need. Maybe we are generally pretty kind with others. Maybe we’re good at forgiving others. Maybe a million other things that are good things in & of themselves… But do they make US good?

I Like to Think of Myself

I like to think about my good qualities, & ignore my bad qualities. Weaknesses are a different thing altogether—I can acknowledge those pretty easily—but “badness” or evil or sin? Nope… I like to justify those into oblivion.

Are you with me on that? Do you also try to excuse your own bad behavior? Bad thoughts? Bad past (or present)?

Sometimes we are too busy comparing the bad with the good, feeling the latter outweighs the former.

Sometimes we are too busy comparing our badness with someone else’s whose is “worse.”

Sometimes we are just plain ignorant.

Sometimes we are too busy justifying our own actions to see there actually was a better alternative.

We all have our own personal ways of covering up the less appealing sides of ourselves.

The Pressure to “Be Good”

We sometimes feel pressure from others who expect better or seem better than we are, & we fake a façade to fit in or be liked.

But count on this… that evil is there.

I grew up in a Christian home & was taught from a young age all of the right things to say & all the right things to do. I was pretty much taught how to ACT good. But on the inside, I was just like anyone else. Rotten.

Growing up, knowing I knew all of the “right” things to do & say, I began believing that I was a pretty good person, compared to the world, at least.

I grew accustomed to subconsciously conducting a goodness check on myself, realizing that I at least wasn’t doing “that.”

But all of that was a lie I used to make me feel good about myself… justified… deserving of the grace God had given me.

HA.

Anyone else fool yourselves into thinking such things?

We Can’t Earn It, Sista!

Like we could ever earn the grace of God?

God tells us in the Bible that there is none who is good, no not one—[including myself—Michelle Hyde].

He tells us that our righteousness is like dirty rags.

He tells us it is by Grace that we are saved, through faith, so that no one may boast.

You see, when we believe we are generally good people, we are lying to ourselves. Flat out lying.

The Missing Piece

We are also depriving ourselves when we tell ourselves these lies.

How are we depriving ourselves? Because we are placing the weight of our redemption on the measure of our own goodness—continually falling short, of course.

There is freedom in recognizing our evil condition. There is freedom in realizing our complete depravity.

There is freedom in recognizing our lack of goodness because instead of trying furiously to maintain the right to grace, we can fall on our face before God & fully accept His free gift, knowing His love is so great that even though we don’t even come close to deserving it—He still offers it to us, even knowing us better than we know ourselves.

A Rocky Road with Zero Marshmallows

I have mentioned before that God has been taking me down a path of learning, to learn to rely on Him more than I rely on myself.

It’s been hard. (Hard is a huge understatement, by the way—imagine instead, me crumpled on the floor in tears some days).

It’s been hard because He has been revealing my own depravity to me. And that’s never fun. He has slowly been revealing my inward, hidden & excused-away SIN.

It’s a comfort to us, to feel like we somehow deserve the grace God offers us & to feel like we can somewhat control each situation on our own, without His help or guidance… But when God takes that lie away, it’s not so fun–trust me.

He has let me wallow in it at times, merely to show me that it’s not my own goodness or strength or wisdom that gives me victory over it—it’s His alone.

On My Own is Not Where I Want to Be

If He left me to myself… I would be just as capable of doing the worst things as anyone else… Things that would ruin me.

I am naturally a sinful person. We all are.

I like to look out for myself first. I like to think I’m great. I like to hope everyone believes I am so, so good.

But the reality is? I am just as depraved as the “worst” of us. And I am just as undeserving as the “worst” of us.

We All Need It

God is revealing to me my inward struggle. He is letting me see the shameful temptations & the awful, selfish attitudes that live in me. He is letting me see the NEED I have for HIS GRACE.

The even more beautiful truth behind this self-revelation is how wrong it is for me to gauge how deserving certain people are of God’s grace compared to others.

I don’t do this consciously, mind you—I am not a heartless, uncaring person—but it’s a natural thing to see certain sins or wrongs & wonder if they could ever submit to the grace of God–or maybe they just deserve it less than others.

But God…

But God does the saving, not us (Thank God!!!), & His redemption & grace covers everything, without discrimination of our past (Again, THANK GOD!).

Take Saul, in the Bible, for instance. He murdered Christians. A LOT of Christians. He was infamous for it & just his name alone could scare people to the core.

But God spoke to Saul, humbled him, & changed the course of history through his life. God gave him a new name—Paul–& Paul became one of the absolute most influential ambassadors of hope to the world.

God Does the Changing in Us

God changes people.

Let me say that again, in case you missed it… GOD. CHANGES. PEOPLE.

Not us. Not our goodness. Not our efforts. GOD’s. HIM, ONLY.

All we are asked to do is to take our sorry state of depravity, bow before His HOLY throne, & pour it all out at His feet.

We don’t have to become perfect first. We don’t have to prove our goodness or worth. We don’t have to offer sacrifices & earn our way into grace….

He Sees Us… All of Us… And He Loves Us

He looks at us. He sees our depravity. He sees the helpless attempts to hide our sin. He has compassion on us. He reaches out His hand & draws us to Himself. He changes us. He saves us. Him.

You see, He created us. He gave us free will to choose Him or reject Him. He never wanted to force us against our will to love or obey Him—that wouldn’t be love. But He knew before He created us, that this would create opportunity for sin—a rejecting of His ways for ours. He knew the hurt this would cause. He knew that we wouldn’t be able to fully ever wash ourselves from that sin & depravity to enter again into His HOLY presence. He knew all of that before He created us.

He knew that we would need a Savior. He knew He would have to send His Son, Jesus, to cover what we could not, in order to pull us back into His HOLY presence.

And guess what? He still created us. He watched us fall. He watched us try & fail at redeeming ourselves. And He sent Jesus to save all who would come asking.

We are lost without Him… Every single one of us.

God is Enough

We have shame.

We have guilt.

We have stains we cannot wash away.

We have hurts.

We have scars.

We have a “ME” we hide away.

But God is enough.

God is enough.

God is ENOUGH to wash it all away.

So, come to Him.

Lay it all before Him.

And let HIM be the Goodness & Redemption that your hungry heart craves.

Lay It All Down

We may be REALLY good at hiding our sin & our depravity—even to ourselves.

But God sees it. He sees it all.

And still He holds out His hand to us, an open invitation for Grace & Redemption. To become His beloved children. To be freed from the chains of our sin & shame. To live in His LOVE.

So, Lovely, take a moment to consider your own depravity.

You don’t have to cover it or hide it, because God already sees it & loves you anyway.

Just come to Him with it all.

Say something like, “God, I can’t. I just can’t. I try so hard to convince myself & others that I am so good, but we both know it’s a lie. I am so selfish, so proud, so undeserving. Please forgive me for my wrong attitudes, my wrong thoughts, my wrong choices, & the wrongs I have done to others whom you also love. Please forgive me. Change me. Help me become the woman you created me to be. Help me see the me You intended me to be. Wash me clean. Change me. Shape me. Forgive me. Be my Lord, my Savior, my Father, my HOLY GOD. Amen!”

That’s all we have to do to receive God’s grace. Lay it all before Him & allow Him to work in & change you into His beautiful vision of you. The old you washed away. The new you just beginning.

God Doesn’t Discriminate

God doesn’t discriminate based on “severity of sin” but rather loves us all indiscriminately.

So, come to Him, depravity & all, & let Him be the change you seek.

Let Him have the GLORY, forever & ever, AMEN.

Shine His Light of HOPE to the world, Lovely—SHINE HOPE.

Coming Next Week

To be honest with you… I don’t know.

I had a plan, but God seems to be washing that away, whether to show me that I need to lean on Him, or whether He has a different plan than I do, I don’t know. But I had nothing to say today, other than a prayer that God would use me as a vessel of hope somehow in the blankness of my mind today, & this is what came of it.

Stay tuned & pray for me. Pray that I don’t hide away from the hard lessons I need to learn. Pray that I don’t put on a façade of perfection, but rather bare my soul & weaknesses to the world, so that others may see His HOPE & not me.

Love you, Lovely!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Willow Necklace

Wear this hand-rolled clay and paper bead piece as a double strand necklace or detach one strand for a matching bracelet. Accented with micro paper beads.

Artisan Information:

Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of these orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths, but by parents who had to give them up simply because they could not afford to feed them. No mother should have to give up her child. Through your purchase, you provide parents with a sustainable income, so they can keep their children with them! Be a part of families stepping into bright futures together!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Haiti!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!