Digging Deeper

A few weeks ago, I talked about the topic “He Can Take Our Nothing & Make It a Masterpiece-His Gifting, Not Mine,” to show, for one, that when we put our faith in Jesus as Lord of our life & Redeemer for our wrongs, God in turn equips us to serve Him by giving us specific spiritual gifts.

Am I an expert on spiritual gifts? Haha, definitely not. Have I learned SOME things? Yes. So, hopefully the “some” I have learned is of help or encouragement to you.

(Again, these won’t apply to you if you have not already accepted to trust Jesus to cover your sins & redeem your life. See my “Hope Is Found” page to learn more.)

What Having a Spiritual Gift Does/Does NOT Mean

I would like to share some about my spiritual gift today, but I think it is important to address a few things with spiritual gifting before I share about my particular gifting:

1. We do not automatically become “good at” our gifting just because we are given that gifting.
2. God can still use our gifting, even when we’re “bad at it” just by our being responsive & obedient to His leading.
3. Having a gift does not guarantee that it will be used in submission to God’s will, versus our own.
4. We may not even recognize what our spiritual gifting is right away.
5. With my particular gift especially, it does NOT mean I know everything &/or that I can answer any & everything you ask. If God does not give me insight, I have as much to go on as you do in most cases.
6. And sometimes, you are too embarrassed to even TALK about your spiritual gift to others because some are so easily misunderstood and/or mocked.

“Mhm, Yeah, Sure”

When people hear about my spiritual gift, for example, people often tend to think one or more of a few different things, or all of them…

1. “Oh, she thinks she can tell us our future then? *scoff*”
2. “So, she is comparing herself to the great people in the Bible, like Paul? Who does she think she is? She can’t even come close! How arrogant & self-righteous….”
3. “*sarcasm* Oh, the wise ol Michelle who is trying to tell me that she is gifted by God to tell me what to do. Aka a real know-it-all.”

I am not saying people will actually SAY those things out loud, of course (although they sometimes do), but before I understood anything about my gifting, I definitely would have discreetly rolled my eyes & probably thought ALL of those things if someone had told me they had the gift I now know I was given.

Out With It, Then!

So, what is my gift then? (If you haven’t already guessed from the title.)

*Deep breath*

Prophecy. Yep, that’s right… prophecy….

Now go ahead & read back that 3-point list & tell me if any of those thoughts instantly rolled across your mind…. Trust me, they ran across mine.

There may be some of you who are thinking right now, “Well, I WAS getting encouragement from her posts before, but if she is going to claim herself as a “Prophet of God,” well, I’m done reading HER stuff! Good-BYE!!”

I get it. Trust me, I SOOO get it. I am quick to do the very same thing. How hypocritcal, I know. Because some people, if they DO actually have that gifting can easily place THEMSELVES on the pedestal, instead of using their gifting to point back to GOD ON HIS THRONE.

“I Didn’t Realize Michelle Was So Full of Herself…” But WAIT!

It sounds like I am making a pretty, shiny badge for myself, pinning it on my shirt, placing a tiara on the top of my head, & yelling, “Hey everyone! Listen to me! Don’t you know I’m a PROPHET of GOD!?”

But, I am not doing that. Instead, it is more like an under my breath, head tilted away slightly to muffle my voice, with a very tiny whisper, “yeah, so I kind of have the gift of prophesy. Please don’t think I’m crazy & please still be my friend.”

I accepted trust in Jesus at a very young age (5 years old) & was then given my gifting, so this has almost been a lifelong gifting in my life, but since people tend to roll their eyes at it & act like the gift of prophecy is a thing of the past, I was completely unaware most of my life that this was even a possible gift, let alone MY personal gift.

I didn’t even get a notion of the idea until around 2007, when I was about 24 years old! 19 years of wondering why I felt so different from everyone else around me & thinking it was something to hide & be embarrassed about… & a thing that made people frustrated with me, even as a child.

Getting Clarity

But, it’s not like what people think, for the most part.

I cannot predict the future on a whim & I am not as faithful & wise as Paul& so many others that have come before me & I will probably never even come close (although their gifting was from God, too, like all of ours, so technically that’s really up to God & not me, so saying I will never meet that level of “success?” is actually a hit at God & not me, but anyway….)

So, what does it mean to have the gift of Prophesy then?

Basically, “speaking forth truth.” Or, as the web dictionary put it, “a person regarded as an inspired teacher or proclaimer of the will of God.”

Again, I just want to reiterate that I MAKE MISTAKES & I am NOT infallible. If God does not reveal insight then my guess is as good as yours, unless I have been through it or had personal experience or whatnot, but otherwise, I am not all-knowing nor will EVER claim to be so.

Why Then, the Shame?

So, why does it make me feel so ashamed to claim this GOD-GIVEN gift of Prophesy?

I did not choose it. I did not EARN it. I am no more faithful than anyone else.

So, why ME?

And if I did not choose it or earn it or gain it for being more faithful than others… If it is therefore REALLY, SIMPLY a GIFT from GOD… then why am I so ashamed to speak of it?

Maybe partly because of how easily using my gift can rub people the wrong way when I just want to be liked AND use my gift.

And maybe also because people just don’t believe it’s a real gift in modern times or they misunderstand me. I have been told that claiming that gift sounds conceited or “full of myself.” I don’t always have time to or know how to help people understand before they have written me off as blasphemous or crazy or arrogant or deluded or all of the above.

God-Given, Even When…

The post I mentioned at the beginning of today’s post was written to show just how miserably UNDESERVING I am… How, even at my worst, God still works through the gifting HE gave me.

You see, I have the gifting, even when I…

… Choose to keep silent

… Get proud of it

… Feel ashamed of it

… Fail God miserably

… Am unfaithful to God

… Use it to be snooty or sinful (See examples of lesser known prophets who used their gifting for financial gain & for personal glory, versus giving GOD the credit & glory.)

The gift is just… there… a part of me.

Does He multiply our efforts when we seek to be obedient & to submit to His leading in using our gifting to honor Him & bring Him glory? Most definitely.

Does He use that gifting in us DESPITE us? Most definitely.

A Heavy Burden to Bear, But Also A Magnificent Gift

And although I feel blessed to have insight on how to grow closer to God in submitting more of my trust to Him, my gifting is sometimes a VERY heavy burden to bear.

In fact, I used to pray to have it taken away because I much prefer to have everyone like me than for them to think me as a pretentious know-it-all who stirs conviction for change in their hearts when I speak. (*And I don’t always enjoy the constant convictions, either. Blissful ignorance, anyone?)

People like comfortable. I like comfortable.

The gift of prophesy is the OPPOSITE of comfortable… in fact, at its core the gift of prophesy is about stirring up DISCOMFORT in staying where we’re at spiritually in hopes of continuing to grow more in likeness to Christ & submission to the will of God & in following the leading/wisdom of the Holy Spirit.

That, my friend, is not usually comfortable.

No Blissful Ignorance for Me

Imagine seeing conviction in almost EVERYTHING your whole life.

When someone talks to you about something & you automatically see the will of God spill over your mind involuntarily, showing you the truth behind the words & sometimes you just want to say, “No. Nope. I’m not listening, gifting, I’m not listening to you! I want them to like me!”

My gifting prompted much of my desire for rebellion growing up & at the same time, kept me from indulging in it most always, leaving me wishing I could just be a “normal teenager & not feel so torn up all the time about every little decision & the intent behind it.”

A Boy-Crazy Daydreamer… But, NOPE

For example, in high school I wanted to date whoever, for as long as I want &  just soak up all the attention & relish in affection of boyfriends & the status of being someone’s “girlfriend”, rather than being a short 1-2 weeks in before the prophecy gift insight starts flooding over every bit of enjoyment I was getting from the relationship, allowing me to enjoy nothing, with, “You know you’re using him. You are enjoying the attention & you are in this not for the two of you but because you want to be loved. You are using him to feel valued. You need to be honest with yourself & with him. You need to learn to draw your value from your Creator, not this boy. You need to care more about him as a person than what you can get out from him. He matters to God. Don’t take this lightly. He is not an object to take advantage of just so you feel better about yourself.”

Uggghhh, NOT what a teenage daydreamer/boy crazy girl wants to hear!

Don’t get me wrong, it kept me out of a lot of regrets & hurts, but back then, I just wanted to enjoy what seemed so easy for everyone else to enjoy.

It Definitely Doesn’t Win Me Any Popularity Contests

Having my gift means I can’t live in blissful ignorance. I can’t just be comfortable. At times, I see what needs to change in everything all the time & it can be overwhelmingly tough to swallow sometimes, especially when I was just a child figuring out life. (But difficult does not mean it was bad or unappreciated because it definitely kept me from many regrets.)

People who know me either lean into it & hope to clear out the junk to grow closer to God or they tend to want to plug their ears & ask me to please stop talking.

And it hurts. I can’t deny that it hurts sometimes. Because I want to be liked & accepted by everyone & my gifting is not always received with open arms.

Sometimes I get verbally smacked in the face, even when I speak with gentleness & care for them, intending ONLY to help them see what is clogging their loving relationship to Christ… what is chaining them back from feeling free & loved in Him.

It rubs people the wrong way when you can (even gently) see through their excuses & past their blinders to what God wants them to see.

And I get it. I GET IT. I am the SAME way.

I Am Not Immune to the Allure of Excuses or the Temptation of Legalism (Buying God’s Affections with My Works)

Sometimes I just want to be blissfully ignorant & do whatever I want without thinking through every reason why it means I am being rebellious to God or how I am making excuses.

Having my gift doesn’t mean I am automatically faithful to listen to my own God-given insight.

I have to wrestle with the insight a lot & it sometimes takes me years of wrestling with it until I finally submit & reap the rewards of what God only meant for my good all along, but I was too stubborn to notice or care.

I used to really struggle with legalism because I thought my insight & burden meant I had to maintain perfection or that I was better than other Christians, thus “earning” my gift.

It doesn’t.

I am learning balance.

A Process of Growth, Led by God, If I Am Willing to Listen

But it’s a process. All of it is a process of learning… A process of letting the convictions come & leaning into God, versus plugging my ears & pulling away, & instead, saying, “Oh, God, I am not good at that one either! Please help me grow in that area in your timing & show me where I can reasonably start working on it soon. You are the author of my growth, so please help me trust You in the process versus putting all the burden on myself.”

He Wants to Help Us-For Real

Because really, the convictions are His way of saying, “Hey, you’re hurting because you’re clinging to something that can’t help you, expecting it to help you. Let go & let me help you for real.”

The convictions from God are meant for our GOOD, even though they can be SO uncomfortable to recognize & face.

My gift was given to me & others because people NEED to know what a relationship with Him is MEANT to be like. Where you feel safe & comforted & free & healed & loved so purely & so deeply & so undeservedly.

My gifting is meant to help people see what is coming between them & that sort of relationship with God… To help guide them to let go of what can’t help them for Who CAN help them. My gifting is meant to bring people to HIM as the true source of LIFE & LOVE & HOPE & GRACE.

Again… His Gifting, Not Mine

I don’t want to be silent about my gifting anymore. I don’t want to be ashamed of how God made me. Because He made me this way for a purpose… to help cut through the lies we so easily tell ourselves & to point people back to HIM.

God gave it to me. Not because I am better or more faithful than others (far from it), but because He CHOSE to be working through my life in that way to reach others with HOPE… TRUE, lasting HOPE in Him.

Please, Never… For His Glory, Not Mine

I never want to be one that gives the impression of, “Hear Me, Hear Me, all you puny peoples of the earth. I am a PROPHET & I deserve to be listened to & respected & heeded in all advice or insight I give you!”

FAR FROM IT.

If God chooses to give me insight into something, I will do my best to honor Him with that insight in prayers that His wisdom sent to my heart/brain & printed on these pages can bring others closer to HIM, not me.

I will fail you. I will. I am human.

But God does not fail. EVER.

Lean into Potential Growth by Praying to Accept it, Versus Shoving It Away

If something I write offends you, please don’t get mad at me or write me off (I still want to be friends). And don’t for a second think I am judging you. (Just because I get the insight doesn’t mean I always am quick to obey its truth.) But PRAY & ask God how He can shape you in that area to honor Him & to know & love Him more through the journey, holding nothing back from Him, even if the realization hurts a little at first… the growth in Him is totally worth it, trust me.

We’re in this journey together, as fellow gift-bearers. I benefit from you honoring God with your gifting, & hopefully you will benefit from what God uses my gifting for in your life.

By Him. Through Him. FOR Him.

To point others back TO Him.

He Is What We ALL Need

He is what you need. He is what we ALL need. So, seek Him with all of your heart, mind, soul, & strength. He is worth it every time.

Shine Hope, Lovely, & start by praying over what your gift is & how He wants you to use it for His honor & glory, to draw others to the HOPE found only in Him. And if you don’t know His hope personally, ask Him for that first, above anything else. It will change your life forever. It will GIVE you life.

Shine HOPE.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Wisdom Necklace

Intricately handcrafted petals carved from ethically collected bone set in golden frames.

Artisan Information:

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Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Pivot Moments

These last couple weeks, I have begun taking you on a journey of major “Pivot” moments in my life.

In these moments of life change, God has shown Himself true & reliable & capable. He has been the love & grace & patience & power that has gotten me through & He is patiently guiding me to be the woman He made me to be.

Doubts to Darkness

This week, we are following through with the results of last week’s Pivot moment & the answers that finally squashed all of the doubts rattling my heart.

((To catch up from last week & read the story of my seemingly endless doubts, check out that post, here.))

So, after a year or two of doubting everything I once believed in about the simplicity of grace… depression hit me hard.

We’re about to dive headfirst into my darkest days, so hold on!

Shutting God Out & Choosing Me

You see, I had just spent about two years slowly training myself to shut out God’s voice of wisdom & warning from guiding me. I wanted to do it my way.

And now, I was in a raging, stormy sea without a life preserver, just struggling to survive on my own.

Depression became two long years of pain like I had never known before.

How It Began

I was a freshman, & then sophomore, in high school at this point, & my life was a mess of uncertainty & shame & fear & anger & hatred & loneliness & everything bad.

The cynical voice in my head had turned menacing & hurtful… telling me LIES that I believed, “Nobody likes you, you know. You’re not good enough for anybody. You’re an idiot. You’re fat & ugly. No one wants you. Their lives are harder because you’re alive. You complicate everything. Their lives are more peaceful & happier when you’re not here. Why are you here? No one wants you. You’re annoying. You’re too loud. You talk too much. Look at the mistakes you’ve made… you can’t undo them. You are a broken person who can’t be put together again. It would be better if you didn’t exist. You just make life harder for everyone. You would be doing everyone a service to not be here anymore. You can’t ever get anything right. Your family doesn’t want you. Your friends think you’re a joke. God doesn’t care about you either, if He even exists. You’re all alone. Why are you still here?”

Those lies were my every moment. I couldn’t shut them up or drown them out.

Trying to “Fake It Til I Make It”

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shut off those voices in my head telling me life would be better without me in it.

I got so tired of asking for advice from others… because it never helped.

I started plastering on a smile that never quite reached my eyes & pretending that I was fine & I could handle it.

But I couldn’t.

Fading Away in the Silence

I was chipping away… My resolve weakening every time I cried.

I would be sitting in class, listening to that endless reel of hateful dialogue in my head & my eyes would burn with hidden tears.

I would write my hurt & fears in journals, needing to tell SOMEONE, only to end up sobbing at the fact that that “someone” was paper because I didn’t feel like I had anyone who understood the hell inside my head.

Sometimes I thought about suicide.

No One Understood, Not Even Me

I would try to tell someone, only to be mocked or teased or brushed off.

I would plaster a smile on my face that never quite reached my eyes.

I felt numb & hated & unloved. I felt angry & hurt & alone. I felt LOST in my sea of doubts, unable to find steady ground to hold on to.

My Secret Tears

I would come home from school so many days, grab my kitty “Valentine”, & slowly, quietly close & lock my bedroom door trying not to draw attention to myself, duck into my closet, underneath my row of clothes hanging above me, close the closet doors to block out the sunlight (& the sound of my sobs), & then wail into a pillow I had brought in with me, hugging my cat tightly under the other arm.

I spent several days a week like this for two years & I don’t know if anyone ever even knew.

My Life Began to Fall Apart

I hated my life & everything in it because I felt so alone & so unloved & so worthless.

The menacing whisper never let up either. It followed me everywhere I went, never letting my heart rest.

I felt constantly beat up by a relentless wave of self-hatred.

My grades began plummeting. Relationships became strained.

I was losing faith in myself & others seemed to follow suit.

Pray, Girl, Pray! … But I Did!

At this point, you might be thinking, “Michelle! Your advice is always ‘pray first!’ so why didn’t you do that???”

I prayed so much it hurt.

I felt that God had abandoned me… that my choices to slowly, gradually do things my own way had offended Him beyond repair.

I was a Christian who “knew” better & yet had still turned her back on God.

Why would He want me? … If He even existed (I wasn’t sure of anything anymore).

But I kept praying.

Is He Listening? Does He Care?

I wondered how God could love me & let me suffer.

I wondered if He had just created us & left us down here to suffer while He laughed & pointed out our failures.

I wondered if He was even real.

But I kept praying because I knew that if He was real, He’d be my only hope.

I Prayed… & I Hurt

If He was real, the way He describes Himself throughout the Bible, then He alone was powerful enough to clear my doubts & prove Himself as the one true God.

If He was real, He had the power to fix everything.

And yet, I kept hurting.

I kept hurting worse, with every day, or so it seemed to my breaking heart.

I felt alone.

Rays of Hope Broke Through

And there would come times where I thought I saw Him through the dark clouds that overtook me.

A ray of sunshine (of hope) would break through my heart.

I would think, “Hey, that seems to be God helping me… right when I asked Him for help, _______________ happened! Maybe God DOES care about us… about me!!!”

But the Doubts Always Seemed to Win

But then, another wave of darkness… I would brush off that ray of hope like a glitch… or maybe I had just felt stronger that day & had just thought it was God or maybe it’s because someone helped me other than God… or basically maybe it was anything but God.

So, I would keep praying. But I would keep trying to find hope my own way.

And things like that ray of hope would keep happening when I chose to pray.

And still I found a way to credit something else as the source… Something other than God.

I kept praying.

The Lost Man At Sea

Have you ever heard the story/joke about the man drowning, begging God to save Him?

Well, first someone throws him a life preserver, but he says, “No thank you! I am waiting for God to save me!”

Then a boat comes along & offers to rescue him as he screams to God for help… “No thank you!” he responds, “I am waiting for God to save me!”

Then a rescue helicopter comes & offers him a ladder to climb out of the choppy seas. “No thank you! I am waiting for God to save me!”

Well, eventually the man exhausts himself from treading water & crying out to God & the waves overtake him & he drowns at sea.

When he gets to heaven, he says, “God, why didn’t you save me?? I kept crying out to You!! Didn’t You hear me?? Didn’t You care?!?”

God patiently, gently rests His hand on the man’s shoulder & responds, “My son, I did hear you. I did listen. I sent you a life preserver, a boat, & finally a helicopter… But you didn’t accept any of it.”

That’s Where I Was… That’s What I Did

That was me during depression. I cried out to God. He responded. I accredited it to someone or something else & kept crying out to God to save me.

I would fall back into the darkness only to go back to relying on myself.

I doubted God too much to stay holding on to Him as my source for help because I didn’t know He was the One helping.

Thoughts of Suicide Became Plans for Suicide… But Then, GOD

And eventually, after years of asking (begging, through bleary eyes) for God to answer & clear up my doubts & to give me a true sense of hope & peace & security… I began to give up hope completely.

My temptation for suicide became more than just considerations… it became something that felt like my only hope.

No one wanted me (according to the lies in my head) & I wasn’t good for anything other than being a burden to everyone around me (again, the lies were ruthless & relentless).

No matter what I had tried to be strong enough, to smile through it, to think more positively, to ignore it, to find my own “happy”, to fight back, to be good enough… nothing EVER worked long term. They all crumbled eventually & they left me with nothing left to fight with.

I was done.

One Night… I Gave Up

And one night, through my desperate sobs, bringing me to my knees in my bedroom… Eventually weighing me down so much that I lay flat, face burrowed in the carpet…

I gave up fighting.

I was ready to die.

I was ready for the pain to stop because I couldn’t carry it anymore.

I didn’t feel I had any choice. I felt it was the merciful choice for a family & for friendships where I only caused them more drama, more burden, more pain.

I was ready to stop fighting. I had nothing left in me to try or to give.

I was tired & angry & hurt & felt unloved & invisible & mocked & ugly & fat & worthless & stupid & never good enough & weak & a burden. And I was so, so, SO tired.

One Night… I Stopped Trying to be “Strong Enough”

And as I lay there, face planted into the carpet, arms limp at my sides… legs lifeless… heart bleeding. No strength left to cry. Just numb & empty.

With barely a whisper worth of strength & hope left.

I prayed.

“God, don’t You hear me? Don’t I matter at all to You? Do You even exist? Are You laughing at me? Why won’t You help me? Why did You even make someone as worthless as me? [Sobs] I can’t do it anymore. I can’t fight. I have nothing left. If You are real, You are my ONLY option now nothing else works. My parents think I am drugged out. My sisters can’t seem to stand me… Many of my friends laugh at me like I’m a joke… My teachers don’t even bother anymore… I have nothing left. No one left. I can’t do it anymore, God. I’m not strong enough. If You really are God, You are my only hope. You are all that’s left. Please. Show me You are real, that You are near me & that You care for me. And if You can’t do that, kill me because I give up trying to be strong enough. Be my everything or let me die.”

One Night… God Changed EVERYTHING

And as my prayer faded… it happened.

Every ounce of hatred, of pain, loneliness, fear, doubt, anger, sadness, despair, sorrow, & everything that had pressed me down & down until I couldn’t stand anymore… EVERYTHING vanished in a single instant.

I felt a full breath of hope fill my lungs.

I felt goosebumps dance across every inch of skin.

I felt hope & love & joy & peace flood me like a rushing surge of water, racing to fill every broken place within me.

I felt FREE….

A smile danced at the corner of my mouth, erasing the bitterness & hopelessness.

I sat up, stunned.

I felt as if strong, warm arms wrapped around my entire self, squeezing the loneliness & fear into a safe embrace full of love.

And every doubt was shot dead in that one moment.

God Had a Plan That I Didn’t See… He Always Has a Plan

God wasn’t letting me suffer for the fun of it…. No!

He KNEW that unless He peeled away everything else that I clung to as my source of hope, I would just keep clinging to everything else but Him… Everything but real hope.

He knew those things weren’t my answer & that the lies I believed kept me imprisoned into believing I was left to rely on unsustainable, unstable sources… like myself… ones that crumbled & faded & ebbed & flowed.

He wanted me to know solid, secure ground. He wanted me to know what true, eternal hope felt like, apart from anything temporal & fleeting that I tried to cling to.

He knew that the ONLY way to show Himself as the One true source of Hope & Truth that would get my attention & STICK was to take everything else away where there was only Him left.

Truth Is Truth, & It SHALL Set You FREE!

I had asked, not for a temporary fix, but for TRUTH I could rest in & rely on & He did what He knew it would take to show me that it was found only in Him.

You see, if you are really seeking truth… not “truth” that you WANT to believe, but ACTUAL, REAL TRUTH… God is capable of knowing exactly how you will know 100% what that truth is. He can make it crystal clear (with no smudges of doubt!)

If you just want a “truth” that satiates you into living how you want, you will always be on the waves of the sea like I was… trying helplessly to cling to whatever you think might help, only to see it insufficient & far from lasting.

But if you want SURE faith that you can go ALL IN & not come out a fool.

If you want something you can securely build your life upon…

It’s in Him. It’s found ONLY Him.

So ask Him.

Not a SINGLE Regret… Only Praise! And Freedom!

If you think I regret for a SINGLE moment those several years of doubts & then depression & then eventual suicidal thoughts plaguing my life… you are DEAD WRONG.

I feel SO BLESSED & SO PRIVELEGED to KNOW 100% what I can count on.

Do I still make mistakes? Heck yes! Do I still have doubts pop up? Heck yes!

Is God patient to guide me & do I now finally have a source I can go to with FULL CONFIDENCE to answer those doubts with patience, love, grace, & TRUTH?

YES!!! A million times yes!

I Want You to Have Peace & Rest in REAL Truth… The Simple Grace Offered by Jesus

And I want that for you. It’s why I do this blog. It’s why I write when it’s not my strongest talent.

I want you to find that secure ground… That peace… That surety… That LOVE… & GRACE! I want you to know TRUTH!

 So come to Him with your doubts & don’t stop asking! He HEARS you!

Shine Hope, by trusting in the sure foundation of real, lasting, reliable TRUTH.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST to follow along with my journey of Pivot moments. I can’t wait to see you there!

And make sure to Subscribe (Join My Tribe), so you don’t miss it!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Quinn Necklace

This innovative statement piece is accented with white & silver beads & has a detachable bottom pendant (shown detached), creating two unique looks.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely! deused1 \lsd

The Raging Sea of Doubts about God Began

If you missed last week’s post, it was all about the first & greatest “Pivot” moment in my life, the day I met Jesus. (Check it out, here.)

It was simple & pure, trusting like a child (because I was a child).

But something big changed when I was first introduced to the Left Behind movie series, starring Kirk Cameron.

Doubts entered the picture.

… Fear that maybe I got it all wrong & that I was maybe actually going to Hell… going to be “left behind,” only to live in the shame that my faith was fake the whole time… or just not strong enough.

I wanted to know for sure.

Other “Options” Now in the Picture

But then, being now in public middle school, I was hearing all sorts of opinions on what others thought was truth, based on a plethora of other “religious choices” that other kids at my school were adamantly claiming as truth. (I love the word plethora, don’t you? Haha)

So, combine my fear that my faith might not be “real enough” with the fact that I now questioned if my religion was even real…. I was then tossed into a sea of raging doubts. A sea that seemed to go on without end.

I didn’t know which way was up or down or left or right anymore. What once seemed so simple & so pure was now tainted with doubts & full of fear.

And rebellion.

Part of Me Wanted It All to be Fake–So I Could Live MY Way

I can’t deny that nasty word from making its appearance in this whole scenario.

I knew, deep down, that something in me WANTED it to be fake. I wanted it to all be a sham so that I could do whatever I wanted like everyone else seemed so comfortable doing. I didn’t want consequences, just freedom, my way. I mostly just didn’t want to have to follow rules (mostly because I misunderstood the “rules” in the first place, thinking they were meant to suck fun out of my life versus the way to live the most fulfilling & satisfying life imaginable!)

But I couldn’t do that IF it might be real.

Because… consequences.

God Has a Reason

You see, I always thought of God as a sort of dictator & that Christianity was all about following His rules, or else.

Now, don’t hear me wrong, we DEFINITELY should live by His rules & His alone, not ours… But it’s for our good, not just “because He says so.”

The Doubts Led to Determination for TRUTH

So, here I was, afraid that my faith was not real enough, afraid that my religion might not even be real, & afraid that I would be trying to follow rules I didn’t want to follow just to appease some possibly made up God.

I had to know the truth. If everyone thought their “god” was real, which one was right? They couldn’t all be right because that made them all sound made up. So, which one was it?

Did I believe just because I grew up that way? Was I indoctrinated into Christianity because I was told to believe it? Was my salvation even real? Maybe I wasn’t good enough to prove my sincerity of faith…. Was God even real? What was real? What was truth? Can we even know?

Those were just the tip of the iceberg for me. I had questions that went on for days.

And with those questions came the tossing to & fro unrest that became my life.

Tossing To & Fro

Gone was my sure foundation, my steady ground built on faith in God.

My life was a mix of fear, anxiety, & rebellious hopes to have my way.

I will tell you that those were some of the worst times in my life, knowing that unrest & lack of peace… & the fear undercurrent that flowed through it all.

Puberty is hard enough without all of THAT going on inside my head!

But despite how many questions I asked, the answers were never enough.

The Cynical Questions

I felt a cynical whisper repeatedly, following every answer I received from others, saying, “But what do they know? What makes them the expert? All the other religions think they’re correct, too, so saying so doesn’t make it true. Humans make mistakes, so which one has it right? What if they’re all wrong? What if there is no God? No hope. No truth. No Heaven or Hell. No consequences?”

I never knew what to trust. I never knew WHO to trust.

Not that someone would knowingly LIE to me, but that maybe they were wrong.

I felt lost.

Deciding My OWN Path

Because I searched for close to two years without feeling satisfied that I could accept anything as pure truth versus opinions, I did the only thing I knew to do at that point, I started deciding for myself what I wanted to believe.

Of course, I wouldn’t do anything that seemed blatantly wrong or something I was warned against as a kid, JUST IN CASE there were consequences.

But instead of living to make some potentially made up God happy, I started living to make ME happy.

That’s when my sea of doubts began to take a sinister turn for the worst.

Lying to Myself

The guilt that I shoved down… The shame that I justified & placated… The excuses I made to keep living for myself….

It was a game of trying to stay above consequences while still getting whatever I wanted out of life.

This pivot of doubts was a painful, complicated one. It wasn’t as simple & pure as my first pivot. It felt like always flailing to keep my head above water.

Truth or Bust

I was no longer satisfied complacently wearing my badge of Christianity, going to church & praying before mealtimes… I wanted truth.

I wanted to know for sure whether or not what I believed was true or whether it was a myth developed long before I was born.

And I knew, that if anyone could answer these questions for me, it was God Himself.

The cynical voice was right, humans DID make mistakes, made even more evident by the endless slew of “religions” to choose from, because not all religions could be right (as some conflicted with others), so that meant some of them were wrong, if not all of them.

Not only that, but the Bible claimed that it’s God was the ONE TRUE God, Creator of Heaven & Earth, Lord over ALL. So, if that were true, there goes the rest of the “gods” out there.

Being the ONE TRUE God was a bold claim & a claim I wasn’t sure I could put my undivided faith toward. But either way, I wanted to know the truth for myself.

Maybe I Can Just Ignore It…

Oh, I TRIED to just smile & shoo away (more like shove away) all of my doubts, attending church & keeping my nagging doubts to myself (too ashamed to admit I questioned it all, afraid of upsetting God or my family or anyone really!) but those doubts were significantly stronger & more persistent than I was.

No longer could I stay content trusting in others’ opinions of truth. I was beginning a journey to find ACTUAL truth that I could rest in & hope in… a hope that wouldn’t fall out from under me.

Asking God, But Then Looking Elsewhere

I knew that God was the only One who could really prove Himself true, because if He were as He said He was, in the Bible, He could do ANYTHING.

But, like many people do, I didn’t stop at that… Oh, no, no. I had a backup plan that included me taking action to find that truth my own way….

… By relying on myself to find what made me happy, versus leaning into God for lasting joy.

Instead of leaning into God, I leaned mostly into myself & whatever I felt was true for me which, by definition, meant I was no different than anyone else I dismissed.

Questions Answered by God, Who Knows All & Knows Your Heart & Knows Just How to Reach to the Core of Your Doubts–If You Let Him

That led me down a much worse path—depression. Or, as I am calling it in this series, “Pivot #3”, coming next week.

The point I want to make with this week’s post is this:

We all have questions, because we will never fully understand God or His design for this world or for our lives… but don’t run AWAY from God with those questions.

Take your questions to Him. He can handle it. He has patience like you wouldn’t believe & wisdom that transcends time & human limitations.

God Is the Backup Plan to the Original Plan–He Is Where Truth Awaits

My life provides you with an example of what NOT to do.

Don’t take your questions, ask God for help in answering them, & THEN ALSO try to find happiness your own way. It doesn’t end up well. You can convince yourself you’re fine all you want, but something in your spirit screams that there’s meant to be more than just surviving. Listen to that. It’s right.

God wants you to come home to Him, to rest in Him, to feel SURE… He wants you to feel secure & at peace with the foundation of steady, reliable truth. He wants you to know His love & grace & to feel those flowing through every situation in life.

Trust Him with your questions. He CAN & WILL answer them.

Answers Came in the Darkness

Next week, you will see how He answered my questions countless times, but I dismissed them countless more, until He got my attention in a way that I can never dismiss again.

He knew (knows) ME & how to get through to ME in a way that is intimately designed to make it clear in a way I need it to be.

He can do the same for you—If you are truly seeking truth & not just a way to placate your desire for a consequence-free lifestyle of rebellion to everything God stands for He will reveal truth.

Seek Him—He can handle it.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning, EST, for Pivot #3, the story of my dark journey through depression, & the truth that broke through the raging sea.

Make sure to Join My Tribe (Subscribe), so you don’t miss it!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Worthy Necklace

Beautifully delicate in design, this rose gold plated chain displays a light pink rose quartz stone. Crafted in India.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

(Also pictured: Steadfast Cuff, made in India!)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Why Is This So Hard for Me?

This one is a toughy, for sure. I would dare say it is tough even for ministry professions—Work first or God first?

Why is this so tough?

Because our roles & responsibilities demand our attention, whether or not we even believe in or acknowledge God.

Working Hard “for God” Is Not the Same As Putting God First

So, why should we & how can we possibly put God first then? And I am not talking about just praying at mealtime & making church attendance a priority… how do we place Him above everything else in our lives?

Even the retelling in the Bible about Mary & her sister Martha. Martha was working hard to be a good hostess to JESUS. How much more important of work could there be?

And yet, her sister, Mary, was praised for her decision to skip the work & rest at Jesus’ feet, absorbing His teaching & friendship.

The story of Mary & Martha is a prime example of why this is a difficult balance even for ministry workers. We can tend to try to “do all the things” “for God” while not actually making HIM come first in our lives.

Isn’t It Just “One More Thing” To Do?

But even for us “regular” people, how can we consider putting anything above work when work doesn’t ever stop?

Kids (& spouses/relationships) demand attention & care.

Work has deadlines & demands.

Bodies demand sustenance & hygiene.

Home requires chores & upkeep.

So, how can we possibly consider putting God before all of that? How can that even be an expectation? How are we expected to make time for anything else?

Short Answer? God.

Well, here’s the relief… God helps us.

Hear me out. When we put Him first, He helps us fit the other pieces together.

He sees every piece of our lives. He sees the things that need more time & those that need to be let go. He has the power to help run our lives more efficiently & peacefully than we could ever hope to imagine through our own efforts.

We tend to think, even subconsciously, “If I have tried everything under the sun & nothing has worked, there is certainly nothing GOD can do for me!” Wrong.

Consider this fact: God does not exhaust His resources… EVER.

He Is Infinite & Willing to Help

I heard it said, while I was attending Liberty University (my alma mater-woohoo!), that “no matter how or what words you use to describe God, you are ALWAYS putting Him in a box.”

He is INFINITE. God thinks & operates outside of our understanding & abilities. His ways are above our ways… His thoughts above our thoughts.

So, if we ask for His help, it doesn’t diminish Him at all when He helps us.

Why Wait Until It All Crashes Down?

So often we wait until our life is falling apart at the seams before we cry out to Him for help (see pretty much every story in the Bible & every story of my life!), but He wants His help to be a daily, continual blessing in our lives.

He wants that relationship with us. He wants to carry our burdens, to give us strength & wisdom & peace & power to live in a way that honors Him & I dare say, blesses us.

Not Easy, But Oh So Much Better!

This doesn’t mean that life will suddenly be easy & we will get everything we want… reality check, we live in a broken world & we don’t always know what is best for ourselves anyway. On this side of heaven, life will NEVER be perfect… but God can & WILL help as we seek to live for Him.

So, when we put anything else before Him, we are attempting to lift the car-strain of life while Someone stronger than Superman waits by to help if we but ask.

It’s embarrassing to admit how often I “look up at Him standing beside me” & shout, “No, I got this! I don’t need Your help yet… I just have to try it this way next time!” Sigh.

He Enjoys Helping Us

God first, ALWAYS. Not because we feel like God will condemn us & point fingers at & shame us if we don’t (He doesn’t do that)… but because we greatly handicap our life if we don’t.

It’s like insisting we drag our bodies through life when a wheelchair is right alongside us.

It’s like dying of thirst while someone beside us is constantly offering us a drink, or starving while they offer food.

It’s like working in our own strength while He offers us His. (Actually, that’s EXACTLY what we’re doing!)

“Darling One, Lean Into Me”

When God asks us to obey Him, He doesn’t say, “Go ahead & add it to the list, honey,” but rather, “Darling one, lean into me & I will give you the strength, ability, patience, & power to do all that I ask… & the wisdom & peace to know what to let go of.”

He is like having a Personal Assistant who also happens to be the Owner & Creator of the company. He not only made us & rules everything, but He also offers to walk alongside us & help us along the way.

Such a GRACIOUS & LOVING God!!!

Let God Be First Priority

So, if you are feeling exhausted & ready to just give up or to run away from it all, I urge you to stop where you are… close your eyes… breathe deeply in & out… & pray to ask God for His wisdom, His direction, His patience, His peace, His power, & His strength, to live according to His will & His way.

It is 100% ALWAYS the best option. ALWAYS. 100%. (Did I emphasize that enough? I know I will probably need this reminder AGAIN by the end of the day… Anyone else?)

He is able, Darling One & He is waiting with open arms to help ease the burden & set you on the right path that will not only lean into your purpose, but will also be for your good.

He knows you best. He knows what He’s doing. He knows everything.

Rest in that.

Let Him run your life His way, in His direction, with & through His power.

But How?

How do you put God first, then? Realistically? Daily? Moment-by moment?

A lot of it is PRAYER. Talking to God. Asking for His insight, wisdom, & help throughout each & every day.

A lot of it is TRUST. Taking the trust away from yourself & putting it with God. His way, His wisdom, His strength, His patience, His courage, His love, His understanding, His knowledge, His sovereignty.

Put God first by stepping aside & letting God work His will in your life, through His power.

Let go of the need for control & the hamster wheel of life & trust HIM to know what He’s doing with your life instead & do whatever it takes to let Him be the boss & to let Him call the shots for your life.

He’s worth it. Every time.

God First… Anything else… Second.

Shine Hope, Lovely… by leaning into Him, resting in Him, & letting Him lead your life for His purposes, in/through His strength.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST for some more encouragement from one imperfect gal to another & “Join My Tribe” (subscribe), so you never miss a thing!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Artisans recreate the look & feel of sea glass by upcycling glass bottles from local hotels & restaurants that would otherwise be discarded, & tumble it with water & sand from the Red Sea until it is smooth & resembles the beautiful pieces found in nature. Sizes & colors may vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & seen drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

(*Also pictured: Truth Earrings from the Philippines! & my kitty Cisco-not for sale, haha.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

April Special Feature

For this month’s Special Feature post, (offered every last Thursday of the month), I would like to share an answer to a question & a poem for reflection. I hope they point you to Jesus Christ as the source of your hope & love & peace & joy & strength & grace, offered freely through faith in Him.

Only He can fully satisfy that longing in your soul that can’t seem to be quenched. Love you, Lovely!

He Really Is

Is God’s grace really enough?
One Word: Yes.

Your Great Love (How Greatly Jesus Loves Us)

It makes no sense…
Your great love for me.

How can it be…
That a sinner like me
Can be counted worthy
Of a love like Yours?

Not of my own merit
Not of my own goodness
Not of my own efforts
Nothing can earn Your love.

You offer it freely
No strings attached
You loved me before birth
And You will love me forevermore

You found me in the darkness,
Lost, scared, & alone,
But You cleared out the fog
And Your love lit up my life.

When all hope felt lost,
When I had all but given up,
You wrapped me in Your love
And Your love filled up my soul

Each day, a new chance,
Every prayer of faith…
Every breath of praise…
To know Your great love for me.

You saw my past
You knew my sin
And yet Your grace still saved me
Through Your endless love for me

Guilt & shame I deserved
Hell called me to death
But You paid my debt
And Your love, it reconciled

And that same love,
You offer freely to all
That same great love
That You show with Your grace

A prayer away…
You wait to wash our sin away
A simple prayer of faith in You
For infinite grace wrapped up in Your great love for us

Your love for us…
It makes no sense.
But Lord, how grateful I am
For Your great love.

I will sing it from the rooftops.
I will share it with all I know.
The great love You have for me,
You have for all the world around.

Big or small, short or tall,
Every color shade imaginable…
Wealthy or poor, rebellious or kind,
You love us all just the same.

*Grace is waiting for you
Will you accept it in faith?
Jesus is waiting with grace
To show you His great love for you, too!*

-Michelle Hyde

Coming Next Week

Join me on Monday morning EST for some regularly scheduled encouragement!

Love you!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Fearless Earrings

Our artisans in Nepal took brass & oxidized it to create this beautiful black hue, forming these gold and black statement earrings.

Artisan Information:

In many areas of Nepal, women are not considered equal to men & are vulnerable to sex trafficking. But the women making this product are earning an income & learning entrepreneurship, giving them confidence to break social norms! With every purchase, these women are provided with education, seminars on health, nutrition & also on women’s rights. Your purchase will create change for generations of women to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Nepal!

(*Also shown: Warrior Cuff, empowering women out of poverty in India!*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Something Missing

Have you ever felt like something is missing? Like you are scrambling through life, trying to be a good person, trying to please God with your life, but still feeling like you don’t even come close?

Especially for those of us who are Christians (those who have accepted the free gift of Jesus’ sacrificial grace), it can seem exhausting trying to keep up.

But what if that’s because we are missing something?

Is “Being Good” Good Enough?

Most of us want to believe that we’re good people, or at least that we try to be.

And for those of us who have accepted Christ’s gift of grace, having the understanding that we are free from the consequences of our guilt & shame, knowing that, after death, we will have the blessing of eternal love & joy to replace the eternal torment that we so deserve… we can sometimes think His help stops there.

When Jesus Left Earth, God Sent a “Comforter”

But God’s involvement in our lives is not just offered as a future hope from the debt we owe being covered by Christ’s sacrifice… It is offered right now, in daily life.

You see, despite this broken world preventing us from seeing the full vastness of God’s glory during life on this earth, God is with us.

If you remember, Jesus told us in John 14 that He was sending (& DID send!) a Comforter, the Holy Spirit.

So Much More Than Grace

God offers us Himself daily, through the workings of the Holy Spirit.

He offers comfort, strength, love, wisdom, guidance, & so much more.

As we seek to honor God with our lives, we will discover that we are frail & prone to temptation.

But God is infinitely strong, wise, powerful, gracious, loving & able.

The Daily Grind, With God’s Help, To Give Him Glory

As you reach each hurdle or obstacle in life, instead of agonizing over how to honor God or how to live for Him or how to be “good enough”, stop & ask for God’s help in doing those things. (*But, Hint: We will never be “good enough”, that’s why Jesus came to die in our place.)

Ask Him for peace, calm, comfort & wisdom when the kids are unruly (or when they’re driving you to hide in a closet & stuff chocolate in your face, as desperately exhausted tears roll down your cheeks–I get the feeling that every Mom faces these moments).

Ask for His wisdom & guidance before the tears even come.

Ask Him for strength, courage, & wisdom to do the right thing in a tough situation.

Ask for His peace & wisdom to guide your decisions when you’re in a tough spot & even before you’re in a tough spot.

Let God into the Conversation

That’s what “pray without ceasing” in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 is talking about… make God part of your inner conversation. Invite Him in.

Instead of mulling over, agonizing, fretting, plotting, brooding, moping, worrying, fearing, straining, guessing, or winging it… invite God in & ask what He would do instead.

God Is Our Victory, Not Us

He doesn’t expect us to be warriors for hope & truth in the darkness of this world without HIS comfort, courage, power, strength, & wisdom giving us the resources to make it happen.

I see you… maybe you’re like me & you drove yourself out of reading the Bible & praying & other things because it felt impossible.

But that’s because it is. For us. In our own strength.

But it’s not impossible for God. EVER.

Stop. And Pray.

So, before you throw in the towel, before you storm in to a situation or run away from it, before you rely on yourself to be the only way to make something happen… Stop & invite God in to the conversation.

Crawl, fall, or step into His loving & willing embrace & say something like this to Him:

“God, my [personality, upbringing, understanding, natural instinct, desires, fear, anger, hurt, etc.] is telling me to react like this, but God, You are greater than I. Your wisdom & knowledge & power & strength & courage & love & patience & graciousness are far more vast than my own. Help me to see it Your way. Help me to do it Your way. Help me to honor You. Give me what I need to walk this path the direction & way that gives You glory. You know what’s best for me AND for this situation more than I ever could, so help me to trust in You & rest in You. Guide me. Enable me to do Your will. HELP me to trust You & know You & love You more every day. Amen.”

There is no magic formula or magic set of words. He is waiting & willing to help you as you put your trust in Him.

Let God Do the Change in You As You Put More Trust in Him

Do you have doubts about Him? Ask Him for truth.

Do you have fears or shame that you hide away? Ask Him for His courage & grace.

Do you have worries & confusion that plague you? Ask Him for His wisdom.

Do you feel tired as a daughter, mother, employer, employee, wife, friend, etc.? Ask for His peace & guidance.

He is listening. He is waiting.

Crawl, fall, or step into His waiting embrace. Lean into Him. Trust Him.

And let Him in.

He is waiting for you, Lovely.

Coming Next Week

This week is our Special Feature post, every last Thursday of the month. So, stay tuned for something fun or different than our usual!

Make sure to join me next Monday morning EST, as I do my best to encourage you with the hope that only comes with trusting in Him to be your all, in this life & eternity to come.

Happy Easter (aka Resurrection Day)! He is risen! He is risen indeed!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side and off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!