Cancelled Plans

Today has been a weird day for me. I had planned to continue writing about doubts this week, but in light of my day, I wanted to hit pause & take a detour.

I was supposed to be heading to Tokyo this morning & enjoying a fun anniversary week at Disney. I was excited.

A couple days ago, I would have gotten a massage for a great price on base, gone for an anniversary pedicure, & received a fresh haircut to liven up my hair a bit.

I would have done my own nails Disney-style (probably Minnie Mouse) & packed my Hakuna Matata shirt & rose gold Minnie ears for our exciting trip.

I would have eaten Guzman y Gomez Mexican food for dinner (a big deal since Mexican food is very uncommonly found in Japan) & my husband & I would have enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere of Ikspiari (a Disney-owned mall near there).

I would probably be exhausted, but I would be happy, excited for the week ahead.

But the virus came & our flight got refunded & here we are at home.

Things I Know…

I know it is such a tiny thing to complain about in light of people getting sick & losing jobs & losing hard-earned businesses they worked hard to own.

I know I have so many blessings to appreciate in my life, like a husband who maybe isn’t perfect (but neither am I) but who loves me & who I can enjoy long walks, talks, & laughter with & I know that not everyone has that.

I know God is good & that He has a plan in all of this. I KNOW that. I know He is still at work & is using this upset in our lives to draw us into His loving arms & to let go of trying to hold the world together on our own.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

But, on top of my missed trip, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, as the saying goes.

It has been a series of unfortunate events/circumstances today. I won’t bore you or bog you down with the details, but they’re all minor inconveniences that have just added up to act as sand or salt in an already present wound.

Showing Up, But Never Perfect

Like I said, I attempted to start my post on Part 2 of Countering Doubts with Truth, but today, I just needed you to know that I don’t have it all together. I have hard days sometimes, too. I don’t always handle them with grace & patience, either.

I have grumpy days & days where my stubborn heart crosses its “arms” as if to say, “I don’t want to be cheered up. I just want to mope today.” Anyone relate?

In the Past… But Not Today, Satan

But I refuse to allow this to be a foothold for Satan to make me doubt God’s goodness & love.

In the past, I would have wondered if God even cares about my hurt feelings or my struggle. I would have wondered if He even cares about me, knowing it meant a lot to me.

I would have doubted that God COULD even help me.

I would have felt that I had experienced “too much” good & that God was evening the scales a bit. (He doesn’t do that.)

But not today.

God’s Blessings in the Good AND the Bad

We tend to give God credit for blessings when all in our life is going smoothly & well—in other words, when life is going OUR way. “God is so GOOD! AMEN! Hallelujah!”

But what about when it’s not? What then?

Where is He then?

He is in your cries. He is in your heartache with you.

God Loves Us & Cares for Us, Even THROUGH Our Heartaches

We’re not promised that life will always go OUR way.

We ARE promised a whole heck of a lot about how much God loves & cares for us, though.

If you don’t believe me, read the Bible.

If you still don’t believe me, ask God to show you Himself. He can & He will.

He Is Still Faithful

Today is not the easiest day for me. I’m not handling it well. I am insisting on a bad attitude when I know I could let Him help me right it.

But He is still faithful & still standing by, as it were, to offer me His mighty yet gentle hand.

Yes, I don’t get my way today, neither with my big anniversary plans, nor with the little annoyances that keep disrupting my day.

BUT, I can slump into Him & I can cry & He will hear me & love me through it.

He Will Love Me through It

In the hurt & disappointments & cancelled plans, He will show me I can trust Him & His big picture plan, even if I don’t understand why things feel so wrong & hard for me right now.

He won’t tell me to tough it up. He understands.

He will just let me lean on Him in all my weakness & pathetic stubbornness… & He will love me.

He Will Show Me

He will show me that life doesn’t have to go perfectly for me to be perfectly loved.

He will show me that life doesn’t have to go my way for it to work out best, because HE knows best.

He will show me that when I am weak, I am strong, because it is then that I stop clinging to myself for hope & start looking to Him for it.

Not my plans, but His.

Not my way, but His.

He loves me. He is mighty. He is gentle & kind.

He is faithful even when I am faithless.

He gently lifts my chin up to Him & whispers over me, “I know, “one I love”, I know. I see you. I am here. I am enough. Lean into me. I love you so much. Trust me & cling to me. I’ve got you.”

A Prayer of Thanks-In the Midst of the Gloom, God Still Blesses

Thank You, God, for not requiring me to be “with it” all the time. Thank You for loving me even in my less than pretty moments. Thank You for being faithful always & for Your all-wise, all-knowing, love-wrapped plan. Thank You that I can still trust You even when my plans fail. Thank You for all You do that I don’t give You credit for. Thank You for loving me when I have an ugly heart. You are steadfast & sure. You are reliable & kind & so powerful. And yet, you love me. Thank YOU. Help me in my gloomy days to always see the light of hope I have in You. This is my temporary home, a mere shadow of the glorious place where You are that I will one day see & call my forever home. Thank You for all You have done, are doing, & will do. You are God. You are eternal. You are LOVE. THANK YOU! Amen.

It’s okay to have weak days.

Cling to Him, slump into Him, cry out to Him. He is listening & He loves you dearly… ALWAYS.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

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If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

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