Digging Deeper
A few weeks ago, I talked about the topic “He Can Take Our Nothing & Make It a Masterpiece-His Gifting, Not Mine,” to show, for one, that when we put our faith in Jesus as Lord of our life & Redeemer for our wrongs, God in turn equips us to serve Him by giving us specific spiritual gifts.
Am I an expert on spiritual gifts? Haha, definitely not. Have I learned SOME things? Yes. So, hopefully the “some” I have learned is of help or encouragement to you.
(Again, these won’t apply to you if you have not already accepted to trust Jesus to cover your sins & redeem your life. See my “Hope Is Found” page to learn more.)
What Having a Spiritual Gift Does/Does NOT Mean
I would like to share some about my spiritual gift today, but I think it is important to address a few things with spiritual gifting before I share about my particular gifting:
- We do not automatically become “good at” our gifting just because we are given that gifting.
- God can still use our gifting, even when we’re “bad at it” just by our being responsive & obedient to His leading.
- Having a gift does not guarantee that it will be used in submission to God’s will, versus our own.
- We may not even recognize what our spiritual gifting is right away.
- With my particular gift especially, it does NOT mean I know everything &/or that I can answer any & everything you ask. If God does not give me insight, I have as much to go on as you do in most cases.
- And sometimes, you are too embarrassed to even TALK about your spiritual gift to others because some are so easily misunderstood and/or mocked.
“Mhm, Yeah, Sure”
When people hear about my spiritual gift, for example, people often tend to think one or more of a few different things, or all of them…
- “Oh, she thinks she can tell us our future then? *scoff*”
- “So, she is comparing herself to the great people in the Bible, like Paul? Who does she think she is? She can’t even come close! How arrogant & self-righteous….”
- “*sarcasm* Oh, the wise ol Michelle who is trying to tell me that she is gifted by God to tell me what to do. Aka a real know-it-all.”
I am not saying people will actually SAY those things out loud, of course (although they sometimes do), but before I understood anything about my gifting, I definitely would have discreetly rolled my eyes & probably thought ALL of those things if someone had told me they had the gift I now know I was given.
Out With It, Then!
So, what is my gift then? (If you haven’t already guessed from the title.)
*Deep breath*
Prophecy. Yep, that’s right… prophecy….
Now go ahead & read back that 3-point list & tell me if any of those thoughts instantly rolled across your mind…. Trust me, they ran across mine.
There may be some of you who are thinking right now, “Well, I WAS getting encouragement from her posts before, but if she is going to claim herself as a “Prophet of God,” well, I’m done reading HER stuff! Good-BYE!!”
I get it. Trust me, I SOOO get it. I am quick to do the very same thing. How hypocritcal, I know. Because some people, if they DO actually have that gifting can easily place THEMSELVES on the pedestal, instead of using their gifting to point back to GOD ON HIS THRONE.
“I Didn’t Realize Michelle Was So Full of Herself…” But WAIT!
It sounds like I am making a pretty, shiny badge for myself, pinning it on my shirt, placing a tiara on the top of my head, & yelling, “Hey everyone! Listen to me! Don’t you know I’m a PROPHET of GOD!?”
But, I am not doing that. Instead, it is more like an under my breath, head tilted away slightly to muffle my voice, with a very tiny whisper, “yeah, so I kind of have the gift of prophesy. Please don’t think I’m crazy & please still be my friend.”
I accepted trust in Jesus at a very young age (5 years old) & was then given my gifting, so this has almost been a lifelong gifting in my life, but since people tend to roll their eyes at it & act like the gift of prophecy is a thing of the past, I was completely unaware most of my life that this was even a possible gift, let alone MY personal gift.
I didn’t even get a notion of the idea until around 2007, when I was about 24 years old! 19 years of wondering why I felt so different from everyone else around me & thinking it was something to hide & be embarrassed about… & a thing that made people frustrated with me, even as a child.
Getting Clarity
But, it’s not like what people think, for the most part.
I cannot predict the future on a whim & I am not as faithful & wise as Paul& so many others that have come before me & I will probably never even come close (although their gifting was from God, too, like all of ours, so technically that’s really up to God & not me, so saying I will never meet that level of “success?” is actually a hit at God & not me, but anyway….)
So, what does it mean to have the gift of Prophesy then?
Basically, “speaking forth truth.” Or, as the web dictionary put it, “a person regarded as an inspired teacher or proclaimer of the will of God.”
Again, I just want to reiterate that I MAKE MISTAKES & I am NOT infallible. If God does not reveal insight then my guess is as good as yours, unless I have been through it or had personal experience or whatnot, but otherwise, I am not all-knowing nor will EVER claim to be so.
Why Then, the Shame?
So, why does it make me feel so ashamed to claim this GOD-GIVEN gift of Prophesy?
I did not choose it. I did not EARN it. I am no more faithful than anyone else.
So, why ME?
And if I did not choose it or earn it or gain it for being more faithful than others… If it is therefore REALLY, SIMPLY a GIFT from GOD… then why am I so ashamed to speak of it?
Maybe partly because of how easily using my gift can rub people the wrong way when I just want to be liked AND use my gift.
And maybe also because people just don’t believe it’s a real gift in modern times or they misunderstand me. I have been told that claiming that gift sounds conceited or “full of myself.” I don’t always have time to or know how to help people understand before they have written me off as blasphemous or crazy or arrogant or deluded or all of the above.
God-Given, Even When…
The post I mentioned at the beginning of today’s post was written to show just how miserably UNDESERVING I am… How, even at my worst, God still works through the gifting HE gave me.
You see, I have the gifting, even when I…
… Choose to keep silent
… Get proud of it
… Feel ashamed of it
… Fail God miserably
… Am unfaithful to God
… Use it to be snooty or sinful (See examples of lesser known prophets who used their gifting for financial gain & for personal glory, versus giving GOD the credit & glory.)
The gift is just… there… a part of me.
Does He multiply our efforts when we seek to be obedient & to submit to His leading in using our gifting to honor Him & bring Him glory? Most definitely.
Does He use that gifting in us DESPITE us? Most definitely.
A Heavy Burden to Bear, But Also A Magnificent Gift
And although I feel blessed to have insight on how to grow closer to God in submitting more of my trust to Him, my gifting is sometimes a VERY heavy burden to bear.
In fact, I used to pray to have it taken away because I much prefer to have everyone like me than for them to think me as a pretentious know-it-all who stirs conviction for change in their hearts when I speak. (*And I don’t always enjoy the constant convictions, either. Blissful ignorance, anyone?)
People like comfortable. I like comfortable.
The gift of prophesy is the OPPOSITE of comfortable… in fact, at its core the gift of prophesy is about stirring up DISCOMFORT in staying where we’re at spiritually in hopes of continuing to grow more in likeness to Christ & submission to the will of God & in following the leading/wisdom of the Holy Spirit.
That, my friend, is not usually comfortable.
No Blissful Ignorance for Me
Imagine seeing conviction in almost EVERYTHING your whole life.
When someone talks to you about something & you automatically see the will of God spill over your mind involuntarily, showing you the truth behind the words & sometimes you just want to say, “No. Nope. I’m not listening, gifting, I’m not listening to you! I want them to like me!”
My gifting prompted much of my desire for rebellion growing up & at the same time, kept me from indulging in it most always, leaving me wishing I could just be a “normal teenager & not feel so torn up all the time about every little decision & the intent behind it.”
A Boy-Crazy Daydreamer… But, NOPE
For example, in high school I wanted to date whoever, for as long as I want & just soak up all the attention & relish in affection of boyfriends & the status of being someone’s “girlfriend”, rather than being a short 1-2 weeks in before the prophecy gift insight starts flooding over every bit of enjoyment I was getting from the relationship, allowing me to enjoy nothing, with, “You know you’re using him. You are enjoying the attention & you are in this not for the two of you but because you want to be loved. You are using him to feel valued. You need to be honest with yourself & with him. You need to learn to draw your value from your Creator, not this boy. You need to care more about him as a person than what you can get out from him. He matters to God. Don’t take this lightly. He is not an object to take advantage of just so you feel better about yourself.”
Uggghhh, NOT what a teenage daydreamer/boy crazy girl wants to hear!
Don’t get me wrong, it kept me out of a lot of regrets & hurts, but back then, I just wanted to enjoy what seemed so easy for everyone else to enjoy.
It Definitely Doesn’t Win Me Any Popularity Contests
Having my gift means I can’t live in blissful ignorance. I can’t just be comfortable. At times, I see what needs to change in everything all the time & it can be overwhelmingly tough to swallow sometimes, especially when I was just a child figuring out life. (But difficult does not mean it was bad or unappreciated because it definitely kept me from many regrets.)
People who know me either lean into it & hope to clear out the junk to grow closer to God or they tend to want to plug their ears & ask me to please stop talking.
And it hurts. I can’t deny that it hurts sometimes. Because I want to be liked & accepted by everyone & my gifting is not always received with open arms.
Sometimes I get verbally smacked in the face, even when I speak with gentleness & care for them, intending ONLY to help them see what is clogging their loving relationship to Christ… what is chaining them back from feeling free & loved in Him.
It rubs people the wrong way when you can (even gently) see through their excuses & past their blinders to what God wants them to see.
And I get it. I GET IT. I am the SAME way.
I Am Not Immune to the Allure of Excuses or the Temptation of Legalism (Buying God’s Affections with My Works)
Sometimes I just want to be blissfully ignorant & do whatever I want without thinking through every reason why it means I am being rebellious to God or how I am making excuses.
Having my gift doesn’t mean I am automatically faithful to listen to my own God-given insight.
I have to wrestle with the insight a lot & it sometimes takes me years of wrestling with it until I finally submit & reap the rewards of what God only meant for my good all along, but I was too stubborn to notice or care.
I used to really struggle with legalism because I thought my insight & burden meant I had to maintain perfection or that I was better than other Christians, thus “earning” my gift.
It doesn’t.
I am learning balance.
A Process of Growth, Led by God, If I Am Willing to Listen
But it’s a process. All of it is a process of learning… A process of letting the convictions come & leaning into God, versus plugging my ears & pulling away, & instead, saying, “Oh, God, I am not good at that one either! Please help me grow in that area in your timing & show me where I can reasonably start working on it soon. You are the author of my growth, so please help me trust You in the process versus putting all the burden on myself.”
He Wants to Help Us-For Real
Because really, the convictions are His way of saying, “Hey, you’re hurting because you’re clinging to something that can’t help you, expecting it to help you. Let go & let me help you for real.”
The convictions from God are meant for our GOOD, even though they can be SO uncomfortable to recognize & face.
My gift was given to me & others because people NEED to know what a relationship with Him is MEANT to be like. Where you feel safe & comforted & free & healed & loved so purely & so deeply & so undeservedly.
My gifting is meant to help people see what is coming between them & that sort of relationship with God… To help guide them to let go of what can’t help them for Who CAN help them. My gifting is meant to bring people to HIM as the true source of LIFE & LOVE & HOPE & GRACE.
Again… His Gifting, Not Mine
I don’t want to be silent about my gifting anymore. I don’t want to be ashamed of how God made me. Because He made me this way for a purpose… to help cut through the lies we so easily tell ourselves & to point people back to HIM.
God gave it to me. Not because I am better or more faithful than others (far from it), but because He CHOSE to be working through my life in that way to reach others with HOPE… TRUE, lasting HOPE in Him.
Please, Never… For His Glory, Not Mine
I never want to be one that gives the impression of, “Hear Me, Hear Me, all you puny peoples of the earth. I am a PROPHET & I deserve to be listened to & respected & heeded in all advice or insight I give you!”
FAR FROM IT.
If God chooses to give me insight into something, I will do my best to honor Him with that insight in prayers that His wisdom sent to my heart/brain & printed on these pages can bring others closer to HIM, not me.
I will fail you. I will. I am human.
But God does not fail. EVER.
Lean into Potential Growth by Praying to Accept it, Versus Shoving It Away
If something I write offends you, please don’t get mad at me or write me off (I still want to be friends). And don’t for a second think I am judging you. (Just because I get the insight doesn’t mean I always am quick to obey its truth.) But PRAY & ask God how He can shape you in that area to honor Him & to know & love Him more through the journey, holding nothing back from Him, even if the realization hurts a little at first… the growth in Him is totally worth it, trust me.
We’re in this journey together, as fellow gift-bearers. I benefit from you honoring God with your gifting, & hopefully you will benefit from what God uses my gifting for in your life.
By Him. Through Him. FOR Him.
To point others back TO Him.
He Is What We ALL Need
He is what you need. He is what we ALL need. So, seek Him with all of your heart, mind, soul, & strength. He is worth it every time.
Shine Hope, Lovely, & start by praying over what your gift is & how He wants you to use it for His honor & glory, to draw others to the HOPE found only in Him. And if you don’t know His hope personally, ask Him for that first, above anything else. It will change your life forever. It will GIVE you life.
Shine HOPE.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!
A Note from Michelle:
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Weekly Special Spotlight:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Wisdom Necklace
Intricately handcrafted petals carved from ethically collected bone set in golden frames.
Artisan Information:
In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. But with every purchase, women are receiving an income, access to healthcare, adult literacy programs, & self-help groups! Not only does this change their lives, but they are also pouring back into their communities & helping others! You have the opportunity to empower thousands of women in India!
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
