A Quick Glance Back

A couple weeks ago, I began discussing the topic of “Living Love”. The first topic I discussed was about living graciously, with intentional kindness. (Read that post, here.)

Last week, I introduced the topic of loving people, even when it’s hard. I honed in on five different reasons that make it hard for us to love others. Those five reasons include:

1. Loving Our Enemies
2. Loving People Who Are Difficult to Love
3. Loving People Different Than Us
4. Loving Through Trauma & Pain (today’s post)
5. Loving When We Don’t Feel Like It (also today’s post)

(To catch up, check out Part 1 + Introduction to this topic, here.)

Today, I would like to finish off the topic we started last week of living love, even when it’s hard, by talking about those last two areas of difficulty in loving others—Loving Through Trauma and Pain & Loving When We Don’t Feel Like It.

Sometimes We Don’t Get It, & That’s OK

To begin talking about loving others through trauma & pain, I need to address this very important point—sometimes we don’t get it, & that’s ok.

Have you ever had a friend or loved one pour their sorrows on you, only to leave you feeling completely helpless & uncomfortable—squirmy even—eager to change the subject?

I know it has happened to me, & I know I can’t be alone in this.

We are called, by God, to share each other’s burdens. We are called to lift one another up & encourage one another, pointing each other back to the hope & promises of God.

So, then why can it be so uncomfortable?

Partly because we are caught off guard, but I think partly because we feel a pressure & a guilt to make all their troubles go away. And if we don’t know how to do that, we freeze & are left feeling uncomfortable.

Another reason is maybe we are personally strained or stressed, & taking on the strain or stress of your friend seems too much to bare.

Bringing Back Perspective

But let me bring everything back into perspective…

We ARE weak. We ARE insufficient. We ARE incapable of juggling or solving it all…

BUT…

Guess who isn’t any of those things? GOD.

God is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise, & all-capable!

HE IS ENOUGH.

So, when you feel the weight of the world crushing you to the floor, in the midst of the struggle, stop trying to carry it yourself!

And when a friend comes to you with burdens, take them to Him—right then & there.

If they were desperate enough to wear their heart on their sleeve, pour their heart out to you, & risk rejection through vulnerability—then it is important enough to step aside or stop right where you are & respond with this:

“Hey, I am so sorry you are facing this right now. Can I give you a hug? Can we stop right now & pray together? I may not know how to help, but God is big enough & He can bring wisdom or healing or grace to this situation, so let’s go to Him right now & ask Him for it.”

You don’t need to know all the answers—because He does. You don’t need to know how to fix everything—but God gives peace & wisdom & strength to those who ask Him.

So, ask!

Loving Through Trauma & Pain

So, keeping that in mind, we come to the topic of loving others who are hurting immensely, maybe more than we have ever or will ever experience in our lifetime.

It can be easy to be intimidated by the great pain that others face, especially when we can’t understand their situation & we feel like fools with nothing useful to say… And that’s okay.

Like I mentioned above, we really can’t fully relate to or understand others, & we don’t have to. God can give us the words. God can give us the strength. God can give us the wisdom.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of sitting silently with your friend or being a listening ear. Sometimes you just hold their hand & sit by them. Sometimes you just PRAY.

But keep showing up (or sometimes giving them space), keep loving them, & keep praying!

It’s Hard to See Them Hurt

Whether the pain or trauma is a chronic illness, life-threatening health condition, depression, anxiety, or a traumatic life event (or other difficult situation), take the time to listen to your friend. Let them know that you are not going anywhere & that it’s ok to not be ok—that they don’t have to pretend with you.

Pray with them & love them as they are.

Society puts a lot of pressure on seeming happy & confident & self-reliant, so when we aren’t those things, we feel broken & in the way.

Let your friends know they don’t have to fake it because you love them even in the storms of life—even when their life’s a mess & even when they feel broken & scarred.

God is Able!

Let God fill in the gaps where you are inadequate. Let God direct your words & let God encourage your friend through your words & presence.

Let God use you to be a light to them in their dark moments.

Because whether we like to admit it or think about it, we all have dark moments arise in life. There is sin in this world & that sin results in a broken world. Pain is inevitable at times.

So, trust God through the storms & keep on loving when it’s difficult.

Loving Others When You Don’t Feel Like It

There are two areas I want to touch on with this specific area. Sometimes we don’t feel like loving someone because of our own stress, strain, or pain, & sometimes it’s our own attitudes that keep us back from loving others the way we are called to love them.

Loving Through the Storms

Here’s a little mental picture of how life felt for me a couple times this past week….

Imagine trying to walk on stormy seas. The waves are crashing around you, loud & thunderous. The skies are dark & menacing, seeming to close in around you. The ocean water is seeming to grab at your heels, & you are so tired from the fight that you almost want to let it pull you under. Drowning seems imminent because you feel the fight being drained from your body.

But up ahead, you see the hand of Jesus, stretched out to meet you. You hear His tender voice saying, “I am here. I am with you. I am enough. I will keep you above the waves. Don’t focus on the threats surrounding you—only keep your eyes on me & you will be okay. Troubles will come in this world, but lo, take heart, for I have overcome the world.”

But it sucks.

The pain & strife & struggle & fight… they all suck… big time.

And sometimes you don’t want to fight. You forget that God is a prayer away & that He has strength for you if you but ask. But sometimes you just want the struggle taken away & it just isn’t.

But God is enough.

Don’t let insecurities, stress, struggles, fears, challenges, exhaustion, etc. keep your eyes off Jesus—because He is enough.

Let Him be your strength & keep honoring Him with your life, even when you feel you can’t. Because Satan will do all he can to stifle our opportunities to glorify God in this life, but GOD IS BIGGER.

So, keep your eyes on Him & keep shining His light through the storm.

Loving Through Anger & Strife

Sometimes our own pride gets damaged when someone says an unkind word or is short with us. The bad attitudes of others tend to rub off on us, don’t they?

And sometimes their bad attitude is directed toward us, & all of a sudden, we are left angry, hurt, & upset.

But other times, it’s simply a misunderstanding that can flip a happy situation into a confusing, upsetting spiral of emotions.

In those moments, we feel justified with our, “You apologize first!” mentality. But when both parties feel this way, things get stuck.

This is especially prone to happen when it’s with someone who is typically encouraging you toward Christ, because guess what? Satan hates it & wants to split up your friendship at all costs.

But, GOD IS BIGGER.

Keep those thoughts in mind next time, & love & trust God enough to ask Him to help you love past your hurt, misunderstandings, & anger.

He is big enough!

Ask that friend to pray out loud with you, even if you can’t look at each other while you do it.

You will be surprised of the healing, grace, reconciliation, & growth that God can bring through that painful situation when we entrust it to His wisdom & love.

A Call to Love

So, there you have it. Love when it’s hard. Pray when it’s hard to love. Let God fill in the gaps.

And when the storms of life rage on, keep your eyes pinned to Jesus & let Him guide you through the storm.

Because GOD. IS. ENOUGH.

Shine Hope… Live LOVE—even when it’s hard.

Coming Next Week

Next week, I have a special, unplanned treat for you. I want to talk about the secret to life. I want to share with you the not-so-secret key that fits all of life together.

… So, make sure to check in next week to see what’s in store!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Empress Necklace

Representing Women Artisans in India & Thailand!

This bib necklace is hand embroidered with an adjustable cotton cord.

Artisan Information:

Even though it is curable, patients with leprosy are often rejected by their families and villages. Due to the visible signs that label them as “lepers”, they usually end up as beggars on the street, often with their children at their sides. This group has changed this lonely lifestyle for these women. They have found a place of life, love, and dignity where they can take pride and gain confidence in their beautiful work.

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also Pictured: Stella Earrings from India & Royalty Wrap from Thailand.*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Sometimes It’s Hard

Last week’s blog was about Living Love Intentionally, but I felt I would be doing a disservice if I didn’t make sure to talk about living love, even when it’s hard.

Now, I don’t just mean with a spouse or romantic relationship… We are called to love EVERYONE, even people we don’t know well. (But this definitely can apply to romantic relationships in certain circumstances).

Loving someone even when it’s hard can have several meanings:

1. Loving an enemy
2. Loving a person whose personality or character is hard to love
3. Loving someone different from us, whom we don’t understand
4. Loving someone through a life or death situation
5. Loving when you really don’t feel like it (arguments, anger, hurt, etc.)

Now, I am not a licensed psychologist, so I don’t have all of the techniques down, but I do know that this is an area of great importance to God.

He loves us ALL, even when we are (or, rather, feel that we are) unlovable.

And because of that, we should all strive to love all people, whether we want to or not, because Christ first loved us (including them) & died for the sins (wrongs) of all of us (including them).

So, let’s talk about that for a bit & hopefully we can all encourage each other to trust this area to God more & to grow better at it as we go.

Loving an Enemy—God’s Perspective

First of all, loving our enemies seems like the absolute hardest thing to do, but God expressly tells us to do so, so it must be possible & it must be important to Him.

We are all enemies of God, on our own. We are born selfish & self-focused. We want what WE want & we want it NOW.

God is so patient in loving us through our stubborn pride, even when we figuratively spit in His face & turn our backs on His Truth, Promises, Grace, & LOVE.

There is no extent to His patience & willingness to extend grace to us. He is like a loving Father, waiting with open arms to welcome us home.

He also sent Christ to die a cruel death to pay our debt & offers freely a debt-free gift of His grace, if only we are humble enough to accept it. No strings attached. No conditions based on how wrong our actions or attitudes of the past were or what nasty secrets hide in our closet of shame. (Read my Redemption Story, here.)

He paid it all & forgives freely.

He loves the “unlovable.” He loves those “too far gone.” He loves EVERYONE.

And we are called to love them, too. Even when they are an enemy.

Loving an Enemy—in Practice

So how do we do this? How do we love someone who might be cruel, heartless, reckless, etc.?

How do we love the unlovable?

Through PRAYER, first of all! It is by no means natural for us to love someone we naturally want to hate.

Not natural at all!

But because God tells us to do so, it is definitely possible—just not by our own efforts!

So, if someone has hurt you, turn to God as your strength.

Lay your burdens & pain & anger & fear at His feet & trust that HE IS BIGGER than any evil you face.

Pray for that person.

Pray that God soften their heart & wake them up to repentance.

Pray that God give you strength & peace in the midst of the turmoil.

Pray that God show you how to be a light in that person’s life.

Pray that God teach you to be gracious.

And sometimes, if needed for personal safety, pray at a distance.

But PRAY.

God Can Do All Things

Do you know of Paul, in the Bible?

Well, Saul became Paul.

Saul murdered Christians as his mission in life, but God stopped him dead in his tracks, woke him up to the Truth & the MAJESTY of God’s POWER.

And Saul surrendered his life & became one of the biggest influencers for HOPE & LOVE & GRACE, of all time!

God can do anything. So, love that person by learning to be gracious (knowing you were once an enemy to God, but that He also offers you endless forgiveness & grace) & never stop praying for that enemy!

Loving the Difficult

Sometimes loving someone is difficult simply because the person you are called to love is difficult. Maybe they are a loud mouth. Maybe they gloat about doing wrong. Maybe they are crude or rude. Maybe they talk about others behind their backs.

Whatever the reason, maybe that person just straight up rubs you the wrong way.

I definitely understand that!

But also, maybe their personality just simply clashes with yours. Maybe they intimidate you. Maybe they just irk you.

Guess what, Lovely… We are called to love them, too.

Cue the loud, long *SIGH*.

I get it, it’s tough loving someone that gets on your last nerve.

But, reality check, God loves them, & so should we.

As always, start by praying. Pray for your attitude, because sometimes it’s simply your impression of them & we need to take personal responsibility as well & take the time to get to know that person past our perception of them.

Pray for that person. Pray that God show you ways to bridge the gaps & to help you better understand & love them the way God calls you to.

And be kind. Always be kind. And pray.

Loving Differences

Whoo, this is a big one, too, isn’t it?

We all like to believe that we don’t hold any prejudices, but let’s face it, Lovelies… that’s a lie that we all tell ourselves because the word “prejudice” sounds so awful.

And it is awful!

Prejudice comes in many forms, aside from the obvious hot topic of race, & it usually stems from simply not understanding where that other person is coming from & why they are the way they are.

Differences are scary sometimes, because we don’t understand them.

It can also take form when recognizing different upbringings, different personality types, different social statuses, different amounts of wealth, new money vs old money, culture differences, language barriers, large age gaps, etc. etc. etc.
It’s easy to feel different from other people—because we are all different people!

But God warns us against favoring one person over another, mainly because He sees past all of that to the souls of all His creation–& He loves us all just as much as the other.

It is reasonably tough to love someone different from us, mostly because it’s hard for us to understand what we don’t understand.

So, start by getting to know that person better—their culture, their upbringing, their roles in life, etc.

Learn to look through God’s eyes, to see them as souls. To see them as a person just like you, even though they’re different.

Living in Japan—Perspective

One thing I have learned from living in Japan for several years, (Read more about that on my “About Me” page), is that we are all essentially the same.

We ALL have hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, aspirations, a need to be loved & accepted, & most of all, a need for HOPE & GRACE.

Most of the Japanese may not speak my language. Their fashion may be somewhat different from mine. They may have a different lifestyle, history & cultural upbringing…. But they are all created by & loved by God, just like me.

So, strive to look past the differences & LOVE those who are different from you, as if they were just like you, but different. 😉

… to be continued.

Shine Hope, Lovely!

Coming Next Week

I wish I had time to continue on in this post for this topic of “Living Love-Even When It’s Hard,” but there’s just too much to say about this topic to condense it down any further, so make sure to check back next week, as we finish this topic & discuss “Loving through Other’s Pains” & “Loving through Personal Hurt.”

It’s going to be good—See you next week!!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Joy Ring

Supporting Women in Nepal with my Joy Ring!

This adjustable ring is made of intertwining silver and brass metal alloy and a white powder stone.

Artisan Information:

In many areas of Nepal, women are not considered equal to men and are vulnerable to sex trafficking. But the women making this product are earning an income and learning entrepreneurship, giving them confidence to break social norms! With every purchase, these women are provided with education, seminars on health, nutrition and also on women’s rights. Your purchase will create change for generations of women to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Nepal

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Closing a Chapter

Well, this week closes out this series on intentionality with regards to growing your relationship with God & to finish it up, let’s talk about being intentional with how we love others.

The Bible mentions the need to love others again & again, which shows me how important this topic is to God. That is why I want to make sure we take some time to cover this in a little more detail.

Why?

People are all around us. Every person has a different story, full of their own personal life experiences, hurts, struggles, insecurities, & God-given gifts—some of which they may never share with you, even if you’re close to them.

Every person is also equally loved by God & equally offered His gift of redemption. Read my story of redemption & learn how to find your own, here.

Last week’s post (Read it, here), talked about Purposeful Fellowship, & the importance of being purposeful with how we spend time with & love our friends.

But this week, let’s go a little broader.

When We Feel Limited

As mentioned above, people matter to God & people are everywhere around us & people have secret hurts/insecurities/struggles that they may never share with anyone other than their closest friends.

Because of this, we need to make it a priority to spread love with whomever we come in contact.

It may seem a little out of our comfort zone to purposefully love others who don’t expressly make mention of their needs or ask directly for help, but here are some quick ways to begin training yourself to live love intentionally each day:

1. Pray about it—God knows your insecurities or hesitations in this area & He has unique ways to specifically help you to grow in this area, but it takes practice learning to set aside our apprehensions & get in the habit of asking Him for help versus avoiding the discomfort altogether. So, when you feel that hesitation, stop & ask Him for courage, opportunity, & inspiration on how to live love.
2. Take the “Love on Purpose Challenge”—Every day, choose one friend (or acquaintance) whom you possess their phone number, email, or other means of reaching them, & send them a quick message asking how they are & whether you can be praying for them in any specific way (& then pray for them!) We live in such a digital age, & it can be easy to feel invisible in the mass of social media buzz, so take time to single someone out & show them that you see them & love them.
3. SMILE!—Show your beautiful smile to the world! You never know when a quick moment of eye contact coupled with a polite smile can mean the world to someone who feels overwhelmed or alone in the world. So, smile away!
4. Love in the Little Things—Courtesy can go a long way in expressing care for another person’s well-being. Take the time to hold the door open just a little longer & smile as you pass it on. Rush to help someone pick up something dropped. Offer to get someone at your table a refill when you get up to get your own. Be courteous & be kind. It goes a long way to make this world a kinder place to live in!
5. Be the Welcome Party—If you have a new co-worker, a new neighbor, or see someone new at church, take time to go over & introduce yourself with a few quick questions to show attentiveness. Maybe even invite them to meet for lunch or invite them to an outing. It’s hard being new, so remember that as you show care & love to them. Try some of these questions:

• Are you new to the area? Where did you travel from?
• What brought you to the area?
• What hobbies or activities do you typically enjoy with your free time?
• Would you like to get coffee or join in for lunch afterwards? (Only with females—otherwise you might give the wrong impression of flirtation.)

There are so many ways that we can intentionally share love around us. Sometimes it can be hard to notice those ways when we are consumed by our own stressors & routine, but it is always worth it to spread some more hope & love out there to make the world a more pleasant place to live.

A Personal Story

I remember being in middle/high school & feeling so alone, especially during my freshman & sophomore years, as I was struggling with crippling depression.

No one knew.

Even my family was clueless. They knew something was wrong, but usually assumed it to be teenage rebellion, attitude, & hormones.

But for me, I was fighting each day to convince myself to hold onto life one more day. I was being suffocated & strangled by the torturously cruel thoughts (lies) that haunted & attacked me daily. It was like fighting for my life every day, & that got to be too difficult to even try. Read more about my struggle with depression & my road to hope, here.

You see, the world around me kept moving forward, but I felt like the kink in the wheel that was holding everyone back from being happy.

I felt like “the problem” because I couldn’t “fix myself.”

But no one knew that I was battling for my life every day, because I would smile on the outside & cry when alone in the dark.

It is Okay to Not Be Okay

It’s important to actively seek to love people around us because no one’s life is perfect, & others have lives that are far from perfect—suicidal thoughts, family abuse, etc.

And maybe that’s you. Maybe you’re the one fighting to survive each day.

Darling, you are beautiful & worth it.

And let me tell you something… IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY.

Don’t pressure yourself to fit the mold if you are struggling with a mental illness like depression, anxiety, etc.

Seek help through counseling & find friends who will love you AS IS & who will just will pray with you, without expecting you to “snap out of it.”

You are worth it.

God knows your struggle & He will NEVER waste your pain. So, give it to Him & ask for His consoling love & hope.

Make an Impact

But if that is not your situation, remember that others DO struggle secretly, even if in a much less severe & debilitating way. Everyone has times where stress overwhelms us or chaos rules the day. And everyone is worth a world of love because God loves them that much, too.

Be kind.

On purpose.

Love intentionally.

It’s a Pretty Big Deal

Pray about it. Pray when faced with an opportunity to love. Smile at others. Be courteous. And take time to show love in the little (or BIG) things.

We are called to walk in love as Christ also has loved us & given Himself for us.

That’s a big deal.

So, if it intimidates you or doesn’t come naturally to you, then pray about it & do it anyway. It will come easier to you the more you put it in practice, until you don’t even have to think about it anymore.

So just start somewhere & love intentionally.

Shine HOPE.

Coming Next Week

Now that I have spent a few weeks talking about the importance of intentionality in our walk with Christ, tune in next week as I introduce our next area of intentionality. 🙂

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Pearls of Hope Bracelet

Representing & Empowering Women in Thailand, India, & Guatemala!!

This multi-threaded bracelet is accented with freshwater pearls.

Artisan Information:

In remote areas of Thailand, we focus on restoring the strength of women in their country as artists. Your purchase empowers a diverse people, from the Karen Hill tribe, the Thai people, and the Hmong women. In this area, jobs are limited. Many women have to move to the city to find work and have to leave their children. Your purchase will help mothers stay in their hometown and earn an income, allowing them to take care of their children and watch them grow up!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Thailand!

(*Also pictured: Beloved Necklace (with artisan fingerprint) & Stardust Studs*)

(**Matching Pearls of Hope Necklace, also available.**)

(***The Love Bowl, featured in this post’s featured image, is also available & supports women in India!***)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!!