Why Is This So Hard for Me?

This one is a toughy, for sure. I would dare say it is tough even for ministry professions—Work first or God first?

Why is this so tough?

Because our roles & responsibilities demand our attention, whether or not we even believe in or acknowledge God.

Working Hard “for God” Is Not the Same As Putting God First

So, why should we & how can we possibly put God first then? And I am not talking about just praying at mealtime & making church attendance a priority… how do we place Him above everything else in our lives?

Even the retelling in the Bible about Mary & her sister Martha. Martha was working hard to be a good hostess to JESUS. How much more important of work could there be?

And yet, her sister, Mary, was praised for her decision to skip the work & rest at Jesus’ feet, absorbing His teaching & friendship.

The story of Mary & Martha is a prime example of why this is a difficult balance even for ministry workers. We can tend to try to “do all the things” “for God” while not actually making HIM come first in our lives.

Isn’t It Just “One More Thing” To Do?

But even for us “regular” people, how can we consider putting anything above work when work doesn’t ever stop?

Kids (& spouses/relationships) demand attention & care.

Work has deadlines & demands.

Bodies demand sustenance & hygiene.

Home requires chores & upkeep.

So, how can we possibly consider putting God before all of that? How can that even be an expectation? How are we expected to make time for anything else?

Short Answer? God.

Well, here’s the relief… God helps us.

Hear me out. When we put Him first, He helps us fit the other pieces together.

He sees every piece of our lives. He sees the things that need more time & those that need to be let go. He has the power to help run our lives more efficiently & peacefully than we could ever hope to imagine through our own efforts.

We tend to think, even subconsciously, “If I have tried everything under the sun & nothing has worked, there is certainly nothing GOD can do for me!” Wrong.

Consider this fact: God does not exhaust His resources… EVER.

He Is Infinite & Willing to Help

I heard it said, while I was attending Liberty University (my alma mater-woohoo!), that “no matter how or what words you use to describe God, you are ALWAYS putting Him in a box.”

He is INFINITE. God thinks & operates outside of our understanding & abilities. His ways are above our ways… His thoughts above our thoughts.

So, if we ask for His help, it doesn’t diminish Him at all when He helps us.

Why Wait Until It All Crashes Down?

So often we wait until our life is falling apart at the seams before we cry out to Him for help (see pretty much every story in the Bible & every story of my life!), but He wants His help to be a daily, continual blessing in our lives.

He wants that relationship with us. He wants to carry our burdens, to give us strength & wisdom & peace & power to live in a way that honors Him & I dare say, blesses us.

Not Easy, But Oh So Much Better!

This doesn’t mean that life will suddenly be easy & we will get everything we want… reality check, we live in a broken world & we don’t always know what is best for ourselves anyway. On this side of heaven, life will NEVER be perfect… but God can & WILL help as we seek to live for Him.

So, when we put anything else before Him, we are attempting to lift the car-strain of life while Someone stronger than Superman waits by to help if we but ask.

It’s embarrassing to admit how often I “look up at Him standing beside me” & shout, “No, I got this! I don’t need Your help yet… I just have to try it this way next time!” Sigh.

He Enjoys Helping Us

God first, ALWAYS. Not because we feel like God will condemn us & point fingers at & shame us if we don’t (He doesn’t do that)… but because we greatly handicap our life if we don’t.

It’s like insisting we drag our bodies through life when a wheelchair is right alongside us.

It’s like dying of thirst while someone beside us is constantly offering us a drink, or starving while they offer food.

It’s like working in our own strength while He offers us His. (Actually, that’s EXACTLY what we’re doing!)

“Darling One, Lean Into Me”

When God asks us to obey Him, He doesn’t say, “Go ahead & add it to the list, honey,” but rather, “Darling one, lean into me & I will give you the strength, ability, patience, & power to do all that I ask… & the wisdom & peace to know what to let go of.”

He is like having a Personal Assistant who also happens to be the Owner & Creator of the company. He not only made us & rules everything, but He also offers to walk alongside us & help us along the way.

Such a GRACIOUS & LOVING God!!!

Let God Be First Priority

So, if you are feeling exhausted & ready to just give up or to run away from it all, I urge you to stop where you are… close your eyes… breathe deeply in & out… & pray to ask God for His wisdom, His direction, His patience, His peace, His power, & His strength, to live according to His will & His way.

It is 100% ALWAYS the best option. ALWAYS. 100%. (Did I emphasize that enough? I know I will probably need this reminder AGAIN by the end of the day… Anyone else?)

He is able, Darling One & He is waiting with open arms to help ease the burden & set you on the right path that will not only lean into your purpose, but will also be for your good.

He knows you best. He knows what He’s doing. He knows everything.

Rest in that.

Let Him run your life His way, in His direction, with & through His power.

But How?

How do you put God first, then? Realistically? Daily? Moment-by moment?

A lot of it is PRAYER. Talking to God. Asking for His insight, wisdom, & help throughout each & every day.

A lot of it is TRUST. Taking the trust away from yourself & putting it with God. His way, His wisdom, His strength, His patience, His courage, His love, His understanding, His knowledge, His sovereignty.

Put God first by stepping aside & letting God work His will in your life, through His power.

Let go of the need for control & the hamster wheel of life & trust HIM to know what He’s doing with your life instead & do whatever it takes to let Him be the boss & to let Him call the shots for your life.

He’s worth it. Every time.

God First… Anything else… Second.

Shine Hope, Lovely… by leaning into Him, resting in Him, & letting Him lead your life for His purposes, in/through His strength.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST for some more encouragement from one imperfect gal to another & “Join My Tribe” (subscribe), so you never miss a thing!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Artisans recreate the look & feel of sea glass by upcycling glass bottles from local hotels & restaurants that would otherwise be discarded, & tumble it with water & sand from the Red Sea until it is smooth & resembles the beautiful pieces found in nature. Sizes & colors may vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & seen drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

(*Also pictured: Truth Earrings from the Philippines! & my kitty Cisco-not for sale, haha.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Still a Work in Progress

First, I want to make sure that I clarify something up front… I am NOT writing this because I have got this practice of graciousness down & nor am I confident in consistently getting it right in my attempts to be gracious.

I write to you today as a fellow struggler in this area of graciousness. I write this as someone who needs these reminders just as much as anyone else.

I write this because God makes a way, even when it feels IMPOSSIBLE in our own efforts.

Feeling the Sting

So, graciousness… I can guess, pretty confidently, that I am not the only one who struggles in this area, am I right?

Whether you have felt the sting in your own heart, wanting to prevent showing any sign of grace because of a hurt done to you, or whether you have made a mistake, (even a one time slip up), only to be met with the opposite of graciousness… It affects us all.

And it hurts. A LOT.

Loving Our Enemies (Or People Who Hurt Us) Isn’t Easy!

But God asks us to be gracious to people who have hurt us & even asks us to love & pray for our ENEMIES & to leave justice in God’s able hands.

But that is so hard to do, isn’t it?

Even though, as I pray over & think over this topic, I am reminded of what Jesus suffered through for our sakes (even for those who screamed for His death on the cross), I still found myself wanting justice & for wrongs being righted before I could submit to any form of graciousness.

Right in the Hurt

But God doesn’t want us to withhold grace until it feels deserved. (That sort of defeats the idea of it being considered grace, doesn’t it?)

He wants us to offer grace right in the midst of the hurt.

Because not only did He do the same for us… “For God demonstrates His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us…” (Romans 5:8) But God knows that He has the ability to fill the hole that the hurt left AND He has the ability to strengthen us to love as He loves, even when we don’t have it in ourselves to love that way. He IS SUFFICIENT. His GRACE is sufficient.

But How?!?

But how in the world do we love someone & extend grace to someone who clearly doesn’t deserve it?

Again, I might interject here that Christ knows a little something about that very thing…. But, it’s easy to think, “But… He’s God, so obviously He has more power to overcome that….” More on this in a minute.

The obvious answer is to pray & ask God to calm your heart & soothe the wound the other person inflicted. And to ask Him to right your perspective to love them the way He loves them. And to ask for HIS POWER to help us in being gracious because it feels so impossible to do so in our own strength.

Righting Our Perspective of HIM

But here is the other thing to try.

Not only should we pray for God’s perspective on how to love that other person who is hurting us & to extend grace to them…

But we should ask God to right our perspective about HIM.

The Hurts, Well They HURT!

I was recently faced with a situation that made graciousness seem pretty impossible. I wanted to defend myself & I wanted to resolve the unsettled, unresolved conflict that the other person seemed intent on leaving unresolved, after hurting my heart significantly.

I wanted to avoid that person. I wanted to gossip (but didn’t). I wanted to hide & never try again, afraid of being met with such rejection again.

And that’s what God used to show me the piece of the puzzle that prevented me from extending grace to that person…

Who Do I Live to Please?

I realized that their words were hurting me so much because I was making that person’s opinion of me a god in my life, hinging my emotions, future actions, & view of myself all on their words & opinions.

I was taking God out of His place as my Lord, & placing up there the words of that other person.

As if, if they were not happy with me, then I was “obviously” a failure & should doubt every future action unless it was met with their nod of approval.

I was living to please them, instead of God, & when that didn’t work, everything seemed to fall apart from there.

You see, God did not create me to please everyone. To love them, yes, but not to fashion my life around their whims or opinions.

Jesus Fixed His Eyes on God & Remained Gracious to the End

And that is where I started to find the road back to peace & forgiveness & graciousness.

Although Jesus came to die for the sins of mankind, the people who once praised & followed Him were eventually the ones screaming, “Crucify Him!!”

Talk about OUCH.

But Jesus knew Who God was, & it was not that crowd.

He came to serve God & to live for God’s purposes.

So, when those people screamed to have Him killed, although it hurt His heart, He continued fixing His eyes on God’s will.

Praise Is Nice, As Long As We Don’t Hinge Our Worth Or Actions on It

The praise of others feels nice & reassuring, but when we compromise our efforts of living to please God in order to maintain that praise, we miss the mark & end up in a scramble to keep that praise coming in order to feel secure.

I will make mistakes, undoubtedly. (I am pretty sure it’s a daily occurrence for me!) But as long as I do my best, through reliance on help from God, I cannot let the opinions or words of others become a god in my life.

I need to brush it off & keep my eyes focused on Him.

People are allowed their opinions, but His is the ONLY one that matters. EVER.

And because of that truth, I can learn to be gracious, in making God’s favor my aim.

My Prayer:

Lord God,

It hurts. I hate when others think so low of me, even when I am doing my best. But that is all I can do—my best. Help me to keep my eyes on You & on pleasing You, versus pleasing the fickle hearts & limited understanding that all of us humans possess. Lord, if I focus on making everyone happy & pleased with me, I will be tossed to & fro every day, dizzy from disappointing this person or that. But, God, You have a plan for me. You know where You want me & why. Help me to stay fixed on You in the midst of the arrows that race past me, threatening to disable me & to drown out my light for You. You are KING over all the earth. Help me to make You King in my life & help me to live for You & to be gracious to others. Amen.

Leaning into God When It Hurts

And when we live like that, showing graciousness when it is undeserved, we undoubtedly will shine a light for Him, because human nature screams self-protection & defensiveness & bitterness & even revenge… But God has the strength & power to help us rise above it all, if only we will lean into Him instead of trying to fight our way through it on our own.

Pray for a perspective to love them like God loves them… & pray for a perspective to make God Lord of your life versus the opinions of other humans like you.

Shine Hope, Lovely.

Coming Next Week

Join me each Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, from imperfect me! See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Petal Necklace

This cubic zirconia floral pendant hangs from an antique golden chain & pairs perfectly with the Petal Stud Earrings.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

April Special Feature

For this month’s Special Feature post, (offered every last Thursday of the month), I would like to share an answer to a question & a poem for reflection. I hope they point you to Jesus Christ as the source of your hope & love & peace & joy & strength & grace, offered freely through faith in Him.

Only He can fully satisfy that longing in your soul that can’t seem to be quenched. Love you, Lovely!

He Really Is

Is God’s grace really enough?
One Word: Yes.

Your Great Love (How Greatly Jesus Loves Us)

It makes no sense…
Your great love for me.

How can it be…
That a sinner like me
Can be counted worthy
Of a love like Yours?

Not of my own merit
Not of my own goodness
Not of my own efforts
Nothing can earn Your love.

You offer it freely
No strings attached
You loved me before birth
And You will love me forevermore

You found me in the darkness,
Lost, scared, & alone,
But You cleared out the fog
And Your love lit up my life.

When all hope felt lost,
When I had all but given up,
You wrapped me in Your love
And Your love filled up my soul

Each day, a new chance,
Every prayer of faith…
Every breath of praise…
To know Your great love for me.

You saw my past
You knew my sin
And yet Your grace still saved me
Through Your endless love for me

Guilt & shame I deserved
Hell called me to death
But You paid my debt
And Your love, it reconciled

And that same love,
You offer freely to all
That same great love
That You show with Your grace

A prayer away…
You wait to wash our sin away
A simple prayer of faith in You
For infinite grace wrapped up in Your great love for us

Your love for us…
It makes no sense.
But Lord, how grateful I am
For Your great love.

I will sing it from the rooftops.
I will share it with all I know.
The great love You have for me,
You have for all the world around.

Big or small, short or tall,
Every color shade imaginable…
Wealthy or poor, rebellious or kind,
You love us all just the same.

*Grace is waiting for you
Will you accept it in faith?
Jesus is waiting with grace
To show you His great love for you, too!*

-Michelle Hyde

Coming Next Week

Join me on Monday morning EST for some regularly scheduled encouragement!

Love you!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Fearless Earrings

Our artisans in Nepal took brass & oxidized it to create this beautiful black hue, forming these gold and black statement earrings.

Artisan Information:

In many areas of Nepal, women are not considered equal to men & are vulnerable to sex trafficking. But the women making this product are earning an income & learning entrepreneurship, giving them confidence to break social norms! With every purchase, these women are provided with education, seminars on health, nutrition & also on women’s rights. Your purchase will create change for generations of women to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Nepal!

(*Also shown: Warrior Cuff, empowering women out of poverty in India!*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Something Missing

Have you ever felt like something is missing? Like you are scrambling through life, trying to be a good person, trying to please God with your life, but still feeling like you don’t even come close?

Especially for those of us who are Christians (those who have accepted the free gift of Jesus’ sacrificial grace), it can seem exhausting trying to keep up.

But what if that’s because we are missing something?

Is “Being Good” Good Enough?

Most of us want to believe that we’re good people, or at least that we try to be.

And for those of us who have accepted Christ’s gift of grace, having the understanding that we are free from the consequences of our guilt & shame, knowing that, after death, we will have the blessing of eternal love & joy to replace the eternal torment that we so deserve… we can sometimes think His help stops there.

When Jesus Left Earth, God Sent a “Comforter”

But God’s involvement in our lives is not just offered as a future hope from the debt we owe being covered by Christ’s sacrifice… It is offered right now, in daily life.

You see, despite this broken world preventing us from seeing the full vastness of God’s glory during life on this earth, God is with us.

If you remember, Jesus told us in John 14 that He was sending (& DID send!) a Comforter, the Holy Spirit.

So Much More Than Grace

God offers us Himself daily, through the workings of the Holy Spirit.

He offers comfort, strength, love, wisdom, guidance, & so much more.

As we seek to honor God with our lives, we will discover that we are frail & prone to temptation.

But God is infinitely strong, wise, powerful, gracious, loving & able.

The Daily Grind, With God’s Help, To Give Him Glory

As you reach each hurdle or obstacle in life, instead of agonizing over how to honor God or how to live for Him or how to be “good enough”, stop & ask for God’s help in doing those things. (*But, Hint: We will never be “good enough”, that’s why Jesus came to die in our place.)

Ask Him for peace, calm, comfort & wisdom when the kids are unruly (or when they’re driving you to hide in a closet & stuff chocolate in your face, as desperately exhausted tears roll down your cheeks–I get the feeling that every Mom faces these moments).

Ask for His wisdom & guidance before the tears even come.

Ask Him for strength, courage, & wisdom to do the right thing in a tough situation.

Ask for His peace & wisdom to guide your decisions when you’re in a tough spot & even before you’re in a tough spot.

Let God into the Conversation

That’s what “pray without ceasing” in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 is talking about… make God part of your inner conversation. Invite Him in.

Instead of mulling over, agonizing, fretting, plotting, brooding, moping, worrying, fearing, straining, guessing, or winging it… invite God in & ask what He would do instead.

God Is Our Victory, Not Us

He doesn’t expect us to be warriors for hope & truth in the darkness of this world without HIS comfort, courage, power, strength, & wisdom giving us the resources to make it happen.

I see you… maybe you’re like me & you drove yourself out of reading the Bible & praying & other things because it felt impossible.

But that’s because it is. For us. In our own strength.

But it’s not impossible for God. EVER.

Stop. And Pray.

So, before you throw in the towel, before you storm in to a situation or run away from it, before you rely on yourself to be the only way to make something happen… Stop & invite God in to the conversation.

Crawl, fall, or step into His loving & willing embrace & say something like this to Him:

“God, my [personality, upbringing, understanding, natural instinct, desires, fear, anger, hurt, etc.] is telling me to react like this, but God, You are greater than I. Your wisdom & knowledge & power & strength & courage & love & patience & graciousness are far more vast than my own. Help me to see it Your way. Help me to do it Your way. Help me to honor You. Give me what I need to walk this path the direction & way that gives You glory. You know what’s best for me AND for this situation more than I ever could, so help me to trust in You & rest in You. Guide me. Enable me to do Your will. HELP me to trust You & know You & love You more every day. Amen.”

There is no magic formula or magic set of words. He is waiting & willing to help you as you put your trust in Him.

Let God Do the Change in You As You Put More Trust in Him

Do you have doubts about Him? Ask Him for truth.

Do you have fears or shame that you hide away? Ask Him for His courage & grace.

Do you have worries & confusion that plague you? Ask Him for His wisdom.

Do you feel tired as a daughter, mother, employer, employee, wife, friend, etc.? Ask for His peace & guidance.

He is listening. He is waiting.

Crawl, fall, or step into His waiting embrace. Lean into Him. Trust Him.

And let Him in.

He is waiting for you, Lovely.

Coming Next Week

This week is our Special Feature post, every last Thursday of the month. So, stay tuned for something fun or different than our usual!

Make sure to join me next Monday morning EST, as I do my best to encourage you with the hope that only comes with trusting in Him to be your all, in this life & eternity to come.

Happy Easter (aka Resurrection Day)! He is risen! He is risen indeed!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side and off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Saying All the Right Things

Growing up in a Christian home, I learned early how to speak faith, but it wasn’t until much later that I realized I didn’t really live like I believed what I was saying.

Have you ever felt that way?

It’s easy to repeat back what has been poured into us, but it’s a little more challenging to stop & put into practice those truths that we take for granted knowing all our lives.

Head Knowledge Vs. Taking Action

I can know with a head knowledge, the things of the Bible, but until I start asking God how I can live like they are true, I will not really benefit from knowing the truths I know.

You see, God’s Word is not meant to be used for us to just sound righteous… It is meant to show us how to LIVE righteously.

And to be clear, we are not meant to just do all of the “right” things, but to trust God & His Word so much that we are willing to live a life obedient to His Word.

Not with Eyeservice

God mentions this sort of thing in the Bible where it says, “not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.”

God doesn’t ask us to just look like good people on the outside.

He also doesn’t ask us to try to be good on our own, but as an outpouring of His goodness in our lives. We have to be actively trusting Him for Him to teach us & guide us in righteousness.

Not Natural, But Possible!

This of course does not come naturally to us. From birth, we feel the need to look out for ourselves & have life revolve around our needs. We may even feel cheated if life does not go our way. And sometimes we even feel panicked when life is out of our perceived control (hint, it’s never really in our control!)

Surrendering to God’s way is definitely not the easy way, but it is the best way.

The Best Way

And I don’t say this as a, “look what a great Christian I am to say that we should obviously believe God’s way is the best!” I am not even saying that because I always trust in it immediately above my own will/way.

No, I am saying His way is the best way because it simply is, whether we believe it or not.

I may not always understand it or want to obey it, but God is God & I am not.

His ways are higher than mine.

He Sees It ALL

We see the world in such a limited view, but He sees the vastness of time from beginning to end, how every piece fits together.

He sees the consequences of every mistaken or selfish choice & the ripples it creates.

He KNOWS.

I may THINK I know, but He KNOWS.

And because He knows, He knows that His way is best, whether we see it or not.

I Surrender All… One Piece at a Time

And the more of our life that we choose to surrender to His way, the more we see the benefits of trusting His way above our own.

One benefit of being a Christian is the opportunity to know God & to believe what He says.

But as I said, this isn’t a natural or instantaneous result of knowing Christ.

It comes with practice.

Every piece of our life that we choose to lay before His feet, exchanging our way for His, our eyes are opened to the beauty of His truth.

Don’t Just Talk the Talk, Learn to Trust & Live It

You see, it’s easy to talk like we believe & rehash things we learn, but until we start laying down our hearts & lives to doing & living out the truth of God’s Word, we will never see the benefits that come from trusting Him.

He doesn’t just want robots who blindly do whatever He says because He is God.

He doesn’t want slaves living a life of misery & subjection to Him as a harsh ruler.

He doesn’t aim to guilt or shame us into serving Him.

Rather, He calls us to a life of trust & action through His love for us. His fervent, lavish, never-ending love for us.

To Know & Love God MORE

Beth Moore stated in her study, “Breaking Free,” that one of the most life-changing things she has ever prayed regularly was that God help her to know & love Him more.

This is my prayer for us today, that we ask Him to teach us how to know & love Him more.

He doesn’t just want you to submit your life to Him because He has that right as King over all, but because you trust His love for you. You can obey because you can trust that His love for you is pure & His ways are good.

God IS love. It is not stated just as WHAT God does, to love us, but as a definition of WHO He is. He IS love.

That is how we can willingly surrender our all to Him & His ways, because we can trust His deep love for us.

Let His Love Wash Over Everything Else

So, take a moment to pause right now. Close your eyes. Take several slow, deep breaths in & out. And ask Him to teach you how to know & love Him more. Ask Him to help you see & trust His lavish love for you.

The more you know God, the more you will see His love for you, which will make your love for Him grow. And the more your love for Him grows, the more you will want to know Him.

Ask Him

Ask Him to help you to trust Him & to therefore obey Him out of your love for Him, because He first loved you.

If you don’t know how to live out your faith or how to live the commands that God asks in His Word, start by asking God to help you know & love Him more, because the more you know Him, the more you will love Him, leading to a willingness to give your all to His love.

Let His love rule your hearts & minds as you learn to trust & obey His truth.

Shine Hope. Live for His love. PRAY.

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning EST for some more encouragement. Love you!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India & Haiti!

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. Flash-plated posts.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant & these women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education and healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also pictured: Jubilee Necklace & Jubilee Bracelet Set from Haiti!)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Easy Isn’t Always Best

We all appreciate a good laugh, but should those laughs be at the expense of the church?

I know that it is easy for us sometimes to see the way it *should* be, biblically, & take jabs at the obvious differences we see in many churches across America.

Satire is a striking way to contrast these differences that we recognize & since we cannot address every church who is a culprit of specific misrepresentations of Christ, it can be tempting to try a light-hearted approach to speak out, such as satire.

But is this the best approach?

Imperfect, But Loved by God

Is the Church (in general) perfect? By all means, no. The Church is made up of flawed human beings. As we surrender certain areas of our lives for God to perfect & grow, God works in us, but we do not become perfect just because we have submitted ourselves to Him.

Will the Church ever be perfect? Only when we reach heaven.

Is it frustrating to have the imperfections of the Church on display for every passerby who may not know the difference of what should be, according to God’s Word, the Bible? YES!

But that does not necessarily mean we should turn to poking jabs at the church.

His Bride

Let’s look at it in this light… The Church (as a whole—aka all Christians) is considered the “Bride of Christ.”

On Earth, Christ’s Bride, the Church, is imperfect… but the blood of Christ has redeemed her & has made her whole & new. His blood covers her offenses. Christ died to redeem her life.

So how do you think it feels for Christ to see His bride mocked openly to the general public?

Easy But Not Necessarily Right

Yes, I know this may seem like I just don’t know how to take a joke, but even though I have had a laugh at some of the satirical sites’ posts, the laugh is followed quickly by a cringe of regret.

Sometimes it is easy to laugh at a situation, like when someone makes a big, obvious mistake, but that does not mean we necessarily should be laughing at it, for the sake of whose feelings it might hurt.

We Are His-Imperfections & All

We may not understand exactly what it means, but God describes Himself as the Godhead, three in one–God the Father, God the Son, & the Holy Spirit.

God loves His children. We, as Christians, are called God’s dear children. He sees our imperfections. He knows our weaknesses & mistakes. He feels the hurt of our rebellions. And yet, He still sent Christ to die for us.

Christ loves His Bride. We, as part of the Church, are called His bride. He also sees our imperfections. He knows our weaknesses & mistakes. He personally feels the hurt of our rebellions. And yet, He still willingly laid down His life to redeem us.

The Holy Spirit was sent to us after Christ rose from the dead & conquered both sin & death, to guide & comfort us. The Holy Spirit does not force perfection on us immediately. He does not demand the abolishment of every imperfection, weakness, mistake, & rebellion in exchange for the grace gifted by Christ. But, He still continues to gently, patiently guide & lovingly care for us along the way.

Edify & Lift Others Up Where Others Tear Down

You see, we as: children of God, the bride of Christ, & guided by the Holy Spirit, will never be perfect on this side of heaven, but God fiercely loves us & works in & through us with His grace, patience, & long-suffering ALL THE SAME.

God, three in one, IS love.

Instead of focusing on everything wrong in the Church, even if mocking how wrong it is, we should be looking to edify, teach, & lead in Truth & Love.

Instead of preaching to the world everything about the modern church which is incorrect, let us live a demonstration of what God says is correct.

Shine a Light – A Beacon of HOPE

Because, you see, aside from hurting God’s heart, the other danger in using the church as the focus of satirical jokes/mockery is the impact it can have on the Church’s testimony of Christ to this lost & bleeding world.

If the world sees us mocking ourselves, how can they be expected to take us seriously?

We may see the difference between should-be & “is”, but all they see are jokes about what is wrong with Church.

We may see the contrast between God’s definition of the Church & where many churches fall short, but the world only sees our wrongs, mistakes, & inconsistences.

How can we expect the world to trust our testimony, our witness of God’s Truth, Love, & life-changing Grace, if we ourselves mock the Church?

Be a Conduit for Change

But you’re right, we should take a stand. We should speak up. When we see errors in the church, we need to do our part to point the Church into God’s will & Truth.

So how do we do that, if not satire?

Here are some ideas that come to mind.

1. Pray & ask God for wisdom.

Sometimes we’re actually the one in the wrong, but pride has clouded our judgement. It’s important to stop & ask God for His clarification & wisdom before we act on what could be our mistake. A simple misunderstanding on our part can cause embarrassment if we don’t take it to God in prayer first!

Other times, we are correct in our assessment, but we can tend to jump into it with our own imperfect wisdom & ideas while neglecting to take a moment & ask God how to handle the situation in a way that best honors Him & will most effectively correct the situation.

We need to make sure we not only try to help solve the problem, but that we handle it in a gracious, loving way that edifies those involved while also giving honor & glory to God. (*This probably means avoiding blasting your frustrations on social media.)

2. Send an email to the church pastor with your concerns, or schedule a time to talk to him.

It’s always a good idea to go to your pastor one-on-one through email or by scheduling a meeting to discuss your concerns, rather than spreading dissension in the church with your frustrations.

It could turn out to be a misunderstanding, or it could provide opportunity for the pastor’s heart to be stirred to pray for change. Be respectful, but don’t be afraid of discussing your concerns in order to bring God further glory.

Sometimes, the pastor may have gotten caught up being passionate about something & maybe unintentionally misquoted Scripture.

Other times, he may not even be aware of the problem.

And it can even happen that with trying, with good intentions, to accomplish too much, the Church has simply gotten off track & needs a chance to refocus their efforts for the glory of God.

Always pray before meeting or before sending that email!

3. Don’t bash the Church passive-aggressively through social media, friends, or family.

Mistakes happen in the Church. Seeing your own imperfections coupled with God’s relentless love for you should stir in you a sense of graciousness to the mistakes of the Church.

Instead of complaining (which stirs more discontentment but doesn’t actually solve anything),  we should work toward being the solution we see is needed.

Show grace for mistakes & weaknesses.

If it is a serious deviation from Scripture, like the prosperity gospel, for example, we should seek Christian counsel from a mature believer, pray, & seek God’s Word on how we should proceed.

4. If you have received confirmation & peace from God, have followed His leading to help solve the issue, & spoken with the pastor, with no change in sight, maybe it’s time to move on & separate yourself.

This is not speaking to those of us who may get upset at everything we disagree with or don’t particularly like about a church, but to those who genuinely are seeking the Lord for His guidance, wisdom, & will to strive for God’s glory in that situation.

If a church is unwilling to make changes in order to stay in line with Scriptural guidelines, sometimes it is best to remove ourselves from that situation completely.

Satan often disguises himself as an angel of light–in other words, he makes it sound right, but it is so twisted with lies that it becomes a death trap to those who fall into his trap.

Some “churches” are following twisted truth in an effort to make Christianity more appealing to the masses.  While maybe intending to mean well, they are actually leading people away from God.

Know the Truth, Stand for the Truth

Always be diligent in prayer & reading God’s Word, the Bible, so you may have discernment on what is Truth versus what is a lie disguised as Truth. Stay away from “churches” that preach the latter.

If the church is willing to change & refocus to God’s glory, but is struggling, it is important to pray & seek God’s guidance about what part you can play in making that change happen, in order for the church to realign itself with the Truth of God’s Word & see that God gets the glory.

Vague-But Pointing Back to God As the Answer We Need

I am intentionally leaving out specifics because I cannot tell you the perfect go-to answer for every situation. I can only point you to the guidance of God’s Word combined with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

God’s guidance in every particular situation is the only way that is ever flawless in its approach, effective in its follow-through, & deserving of the glory.

So, pray & read His Word.

Don’t Settle

Don’t settle for complaints & passive-aggressive frustrations bubbling underneath or poured out online. Don’t rely on others to speak up. Be a member of the Body of Christ. Speak up & be a part of the change.

You are a member of Christ’s Bride, the Church. Find your part. Seek God’s face.

Let His Truth & Love guide your every decision & motive.

Be the change & Shine HOPE, Beautiful!

Coming Soon

Stay tuned for THIS Thursday morning EST! This week is our monthly Special Feature post (every last Thursday of the month). This is my chance to share something a little different than normal, so make sure you “Join My Tribe” so you don’t miss it!!

Next Monday morning, EST, the next blog post will be up, so make sure to check back then! I look forward to hopefully encouraging you & urging you further into God’s loving arms!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eternity Necklace

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!

Multiple mix metal chains are hugged by a metal curved tube to create this simple yet elegant piece with a lobster clasp closure.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & they grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Let’s Shine Some Light in the Dark

Hello there, Beautiful.

Let’s take an opportunity to see things in new light. Let’s shine hope into a desperate situation. Let’s walk away from this with a new sense of hope for each new day, together.

Maybe…

If you are like me, maybe you feel a child-shaped hole in your heart.

Maybe you have spent countless hours with tears streaming your face, wondering why you can’t seem to have this child that your heart aches for so longingly.

Maybe you feel hurt by God, that maybe He is punishing you for your past or that maybe He just doesn’t trust you with a child.

Maybe you tell yourself you don’t need kids, just so that the bitter sadness doesn’t keep you from living each day. Maybe some days you realize this thing you tell yourself is a lie, & you cry.

Maybe you beg & plead & wonder if God can hear you.

Maybe you feel forgotten.

Maybe you feel as if your prayers go ignored or denied.

Maybe you wonder if God cares about this child-shaped hole in your heart.

Maybe.

If you are anything like me, a combination of all of those thoughts have drifted into or settled into your heart & mind.

This Doesn’t Feel Perfect

Maybe, like me, you have even felt guilt for being mad at God, for feeling like maybe He doesn’t care about your hurting heart. Maybe you feel guilt at your distrust in His plan.

You know He is perfect. You know His will is perfect. You know He is Good & He is Love.

And yet, this doesn’t feel perfect. This doesn’t feel good or loving at all.

And maybe that realization hurts your heart a little more than you’re willing to admit out loud.

Hope in the Darkness

But, Dear one, there is hope in the midst of this darkness. I promise you that.

I have been on a five-year journey of these emotions & thoughts plaguing the back of my mind. I have had five years of denial that my bitterness has grown in this hole in my heart, in place of trust in God’s perfect will, plan, Goodness, & love.

I don’t know if I am barren. I am told that everything looks good & we are cleared by the doctors for having a baby, & yet five years of attempts have left us childless.

I have had tests & ultrasounds & taken supplements to help… & yet nothing.

I have obsessed over temperature charting & ovulation testing… & yet nothing.

I have cried & begged God to answer my heart’s cry… & yet nothing.

For God’s Glory

I even wanted a child for the main purpose of raising them to be a light of God’s hope into this world… wanting to glorify God & train the child(ren) how to live a life that honors & glorifies Him so that hope will continue flowing into the next generation, long after I am gone… & yet nothing.

I have felt betrayed by a seeming lack of God’s love & favor. Watching my friends pop kids out continually while I am left… the barren woman.

I am able to push aside my hurt most often to celebrate the new lives being born into the homes of my family & friends, but the ache still lingers.

God Shines Light into the Darkness

But here is the hope, Beautiful one.

In reading through the current Bible study I am attending weekly (& working through the corresponding homework each day for the study), I came across something I had never seen before.

The study is Beth Moore’s “Breaking Free.”

The Dreams of Little Girls

In this particular study book, Beth Moore has a whole week dedicated to the dreams of little girls: to get married, be beautiful, have children (or, be fruitful), & to live happily ever after.

That pretty much nails it on the head for all of my girlhood dreams.

But here was her point… each of us have these childhood dreams that we long(ed) for, but that God can satisfy infinitely more than this world can.

Just a Shadow

It is a shadow of the deeper longing of our hearts. It is a hint of what God already promises us.

To get married–we want to feel loved & special & wanted… God fulfills this by loving & cherishing us more than we can ever comprehend. If you don’t believe me, He tells us it’s true & He will show you… Just have faith enough to ask Him to.

To feel beautiful—He thinks we are gorgeous because He created us! And when our time comes, as believers in Christ, to go to heaven, He sees us as His beautiful bride! (also satisfying our marriage desire).

To live happily ever after—(I am purposely skipping to have children (be fruitful) until the end)—but to live happily ever after points to the fact that this earthly existence is merely our temporary home. Sin has marred this world, but heaven will be amazing & beyond imagination! No tears! No sadness! Only joy & love & peace. A TRUE happily ever after!

To Have Children (Or, Be Fruitful)

And back to our childhood dream to have children (or, to be fruitful).

And this really struck me with God’s amazing provision & plan. It showed me His will & Goodness really is perfect. And His love is lacking NOTHING. Praise God!

In Beth’s section about dreaming to have children, Beth spoke to my soul by spending a majority of the lesson addressing barrenness.

There is Hope

Beth didn’t shy away from the hurt that comes with barrenness, but she did point to Scripture & the amazing reality that God has not forgotten us in our temporary (or permanent) inability to have children.

Beth started by having us read about Elizabeth. The Bible called Elizabeth a righteous woman, followed immediately with the fact that “& she was barren.” (Check it out in Luke 1:5-7.)

Then, Mrs. Moore paralleled the Old & New Testaments’ discussion on being fruitful. In the Old Testament, fruitfulness referred to making lots of babies, while in the New Testament, it often referred to being fruitful as spreading your faith in order to lead others to become new Christ-believers!

You see, while God mentions many times how children are a blessing from God & how they are gifts… & while God often talks about leading your children to follow & trust Him… He ALSO spends a significant time talking about sharing the hope of Christ!

Even More!

AND… in Isaiah 54 (you really should stop & go read that right this moment), God says that a barren woman is able to have more children than a married woman. WHAT?

You see, when those who are blessed with children are raising those children, life is a little crazy (in a good way, even if sometimes so difficult), & most of a mom’s time & energy is spent pouring into those little children to raise them to be Christ followers.

But those of us who have no children have a beautiful opportunity.

You see, we can have more “children” than a married woman because while they are raising theirs, we can pour into those women who in turn pour into their own children!

And we can pour into other barren women who in turn can pour into the lives of others!

How great of an opportunity we have to pour hope into all surrounding women & children!

Talk about fruitful!!!

God Forgives! God Never Forsakes Us! God is Good! God is LOVE!

You see, God forgave me for my past when I repented & turned to Him. He forgave me IN FULL. He is not punishing me!

God does not forsake us… He has not forgotten me!

God is GOOD. He knows my heart to raise a child to honor & glorify Him long after I am gone & He is giving me opportunity to do that in an even greater way!

God is LOVE. He knows my heart cry & my longing… & He is giving me a way!!

Lovely, consider these things with me. How wonderful & loving & Good our God is!

He Loves You

He loves you.

He loves YOU.

He. Loves. You.

HE LOVES YOU!!!

Let that sink in for a moment. Read those last few lines again.

Close your eyes with me for a moment. Take a deep breath in… & then out. And let that Truth sink into the crevices of your pained heart.

Let His love wash over you & pour into those deep crevices of pain.

Let His goodness & mercy shine into the dark corners of your heart.

He’s Got a Plan… And It’s a GOOD One!

TRUST God.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

We may not know His timing. We may not see the fruit. But we can trust that He has a good plan with a good outcome. We can trust His love & we can trust His grace & goodness.

For His Love Endures Forever. Amen.

In whatever place you find yourself right now, Lovely, shine Hope. Always shine hope.

Grace & peace be to you from Christ Jesus, our LORD.

Amen.

Coming Next Week

Two blog posts are coming next week!

Monday will be our next regularly scheduled post of encouragement for your week & Thursday will be our Special Feature for this month!

Make sure to check back with me & hopefully I can pour some encouragement into your beautiful self.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Avalon Earrings

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!

Made with brass & then silver-plated, these statement earrings are a nod to our Indian artisans’ culture.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Other accessories are from previous catalogs & are no longer available)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

(To read or re-read Part 1 of this story before continuing on, please check it out, here.)

…

She stared wide-eyed at her computer screen long after he signed off, her jaw dropped & her face flushed with shock.

What just happened…?

***********************

The next day was dawning & the remembrance of her looming plans rushed back into her mind as she groggily awoke from a restless night of sleep.

Maybe if she didn’t tell anyone about the date, she could just go out, come back afterwards, & then just move on with her life.

She had already decided that she wasn’t going to do anything differently with this boy. She was going to be herself & nothing more. If she didn’t find him funny, she would not giggle politely to humor him. If he says anything she didn’t agree with, she would let him know flat out. No pretending. No faking. If he didn’t like her as is, then he could move on all the sooner & so could she.

The impending doom… er, date… was coming up & she was spending her day trying to put it from her mind. She was well aware of the fact that she hadn’t given him her phone number & that if he got lost & wanted to call for better directions, oh well.

She also knew how mean that sounded. It’s not that she wanted to be mean to this guy… she just really didn’t want to end up crushing his heart like she seemed to already have been so good at doing with other guys. She wanted to spare herself the drama & the pain that seemed to inevitably accompany her dating efforts.

Better to end it now, rather than draw it out, establish feelings, & then rip out both of their hearts. It was actually the merciful thing, although seemingly harsh in the moment.

As the day went on, she eventually started preparing for her date. She wanted to dress confidently, to hopefully feel the confidence she aimed to project. Her nerves seemed to be bouncing off every wall she passed throughout the day & although her face showed calm composure, she couldn’t deny the rate at which her heart was beating. First dates are awkward & she was not looking forward to this one.

Although, in the back of her mind, she had to admit a flicker of excitement & even the truth of feeling flattered.

***********************

The evening arrived in a blur of a day. Her mom had insisted upon meeting him (completely breaking the code of not meeting the parents until you were getting serious in your relationship). At least this could only act as an extra deterrent, so she should have been more willing to oblige, but embarrassment won that round instead.

Heading out the door, as he opened the passenger door for her, she stepped into the car & a magical thing happened—ease & calm swept over her heart as she slid into the seat. She felt somehow like she had been in this seat a million times before & it somehow felt natural to be sitting in it right then.

The movie was pleasant & dinner was delicious, but conversation was exceptionally surprising. They laughed (genuinely), talked about life (no fluff, just real, honest talk), & they felt like long-lost friends reunited. It was surprising & yet, familiar.

As the evening concluded, they said their goodbyes & picked up their conversation through messages online later that night.

That’s when the problem occurred.

As they chatted, he shared with her how he had been feeling God leading him to this point & nudging him to ask her out. He had resisted, recovering from his own painful romantic memories, but had felt God saying, “will you do this in My timing, or yours?” And that’s when he gave in & went for it by asking her out.

Needless to say, telling a skittish, commitment-phobe girl that “God was telling you to push forward with dating her because God wanted you to pursue her” was basically like telling her to RUN! Not the smartest move on his part, probably.

And so, in response to his bold proclamation, she went on auto-pilot & proceeded to dump her entire relationship history on him as a defense mechanism. She shared everything. Ev-er-y-thing.

While spilling her every heartache onto the unsuspecting victim of her outburst, she cried & wanted to scream at him. She was so freaked out about potentially hurting him or getting herself heartbroken yet again. She was mad at him for being so bold when she had barely agreed to this one date. She was mad that she was finally satisfied with singleness, had learned to avoid flirtations & relying on men for affirmation & now this! She was mad that he had ruined their awesome night of relaxed jollity with bold statements of pursuing her romantically.

And so, she dumped all of her heartache on his shoulders.

He didn’t run. He didn’t defend himself. He just listened patiently, feeling the hurt in her words.

Once the panic & outpouring of her past heartache began to subside, in one final effort to protect the both of them from experiencing similar fates, she asked him to make a vow to her.

The vow was this, “Do not ask me out or talk about a relationship with me for three months. Three months. Pray. Just pray. Ask God to help you get over your twitterpated feelings so that you can see God’s will above your own will. And I will pray that God help me see past my fears to understand His will. Three months & no sooner. Just pray about it.”

He agreed & they said their goodbyes for the evening.

After they signed off their message chat, she cried. She felt ashamed for dumping her past on this unsuspecting guy. She felt ashamed for not trusting God when faced with something that scared her. She felt scared for the potential damage she could cause him. She wanted to run away.

And as she cried, she prayed something quite differently than what she had just said to that young man who had stirred all of these emotions & all of this fear. She asked God to make His will clear to her above all else. She no longer wanted to date for “fun” or “attention” or “fulfillment”. She only wanted to be with someone if the relationship honored God & if it was His best for her. She wanted to rest in the security of Christ’s embrace versus relying on the embrace of a man to fulfill her.

She wanted God’s will.

And so, she prayed this, “God, I don’t know what to do. I am so scared. I can’t go through this again! I can’t risk hurting myself or hurting someone else like that again. I just can’t! You have taught me to rely on You alone for comfort & strength & love & fulfillment… I don’t know how to fit a man into that. Help me! I will refuse to have a man replace Your place in my heart, so show me Your will. If this is Your plan for my path, please make it so clear to both he & I that we are left with no doubts. Be the ruler of this relationship. If this is Your will, give him so much confidence of Your will to pursue me that he is willing to risk losing me in order to follow Your will. Give him the confidence to ask me out before January 1, three WEEKS from now. If he is willing to break his promise to me & risk losing me, all for the sake of obeying You, I will know that You have sent him to me & I will say yes. Your will be done. Amen.”

And then she slept.

***********************

In the days that followed, he kept his promise to her. He didn’t once mention the idea of a future romantic relationship. He was simply acting as her friend. They shared prayers together. They shared testimony of God working in their individual lives. They grew in their relationship with God more than with each other. There was no pressure to be good enough or to show off or to impress each other toward a relationship. It was easy & relaxed & a friendship built on the understanding that neither of us belonged to each other, but rather to Christ. There was laughter & fun & there were happy memories made as they chatted online almost every day.

She kept praying for peace in her heart & to know God’s will. She prayed several times about specific characteristics that she knew without uncertainty that God had shown her she needed in a husband.  Every time she prayed specifically about a characteristic or potential in this man, without fail, this guy randomly, out of the blue & with zero prompting from her, would tell a story about himself that displayed that exact characteristic, sometimes almost verbatim to her prayers. She was always left in wonder & awe to see God answer her questions & concerns so clearly. She could see His fingerprints in their budding friendship.

Along with their many online chats & visits at church functions, the two of them went out together on two more outings that held no romantic nuances. Just friends spending time together.

The third time they hung out in person (other than seeing each other at church events), their time for the day was coming to a close. It was December 31 and no mention of relationships had taken place since their first date. He had held true to his promise.

She shifted in her seat, secretly remembering her prayers about something happening before January 1 if it were God’s will. She began wondering if this meant that God would show her in a different way & that maybe the timing just wasn’t right yet… or if this would mean that His answer was a firm, “no”. She started praying silently, asking God for wisdom on which of these two scenarios were His answer.

Sitting in the car, parked in front of the house, she moved to begin saying her “goodbye until next time” when he, who had been sitting silently next to her for several minutes now, finally spoke up.

“Wait. I feel like I really need to tell you something. I have kept my promise. I have been praying about God’s will to overshadow my own & I haven’t mentioned relationships since that night that we last spoke about it. But three days ago, I feel like I got my answer. I have been praying since then for God to solidify His answer in my heart & to show me when I should tell you, since you made me promise to wait three months… Well, as we were about to say goodbye, I just got this overwhelming feeling that the answer was right now. I know it’s breaking the promise, but I can’t deny that push. I feel like I am supposed to tell you right now that I think God wants me to pursue a romantic relationship with you.”

…

…

…

Panic. Pure panic. Shock. Wonderment. Awe. Panic. Head spinning. Replaying words in her head. Processing the information as the car grew hot & the air grew thick & the car grew significantly smaller with every breath. Heavy breathing, trying not to pass out. Wondering at how God works in her life when she asks Him to & how faithful & amazing He is.

“Michelle…?” he asked her tentatively, fear starting to well inside him as well.

“Oh my gosh. I just… Oh my gosh… What? Did you just ask me out? Oh my gosh… It hasn’t been three months… How did you know…? Oh my gosh… I didn’t tell anyone… Oh my gosh… What just happened…?”

He sat staring at her, probably preparing himself for her to exit his car & never look back.

Seeing his worry, she realized that she hadn’t told him why she was freaking out. She began to tell him her prayers & the change she had made to want him to risk losing her to follow God first. She told him what happened.

Realization dawned on his face, relief & joy replaced his worry. Now he was sitting in his seat, letting the truth of God’s amazing work sink in.

The two of them sat quietly, amazed. Who knew that God would show up so clearly when they asked for His guidance? Who knew how much God cared about their budding relationship? Their eyes had been opened & now they could see more of the Truth… God really cared about them. He cared about guiding them when they ask Him to… He cared for their hearts.

God cared so much more than they had known before that night, & now they could sit & smile & realize just how big & how great & how loving God really was.

He was worth following. He was worth trusting.

He is worth our everything.

***********************

To be Continued…

Part 2 Thoughts

If you hadn’t guessed already from having “her” name revealed as “Michelle”, this is a true story based on my personal love story with my now husband.

I share this story every chance I get because I want girls & women to understand how very much God cares about our hearts & how much He is willing to interact with & guide us along on the journey.

So often, we try to “help Him along” by flirting & trying to be such good girlfriends, putting all of the relationship pressure on our own shoulders, but God is willing to lift that from us & replace it with the peace of knowing that He will be enough to fill our hearts & if we are to marry, He will guide us every step of the way if we allow Him to.

So trust Him, Lovely. If you are seeking love, seek it in God’s loving arms. Not sure how that works or how that could possibly satisfy you more than a man, ask God to show you. He won’t disappoint.

Don’t trust your deceitful heart. Trust God’s steadfast love, wisdom, care, & guidance.

He really is enough & He is waiting to show you how much He really does love you, with or without a man in your life.

Coming Up

The love story doesn’t end there… Check back for next month’s Special Feature blog post (every last Thursday of the month) for “A Love Story-Part 3″!

Also, check back every Monday morning for my latest blog post, encouraging women to shine hope into this dark world by laying out my weaknesses & allowing God’s glory to shine through them. See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Avalon Earrings

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India & Thailand!

Made with brass & then silver-plated, these statement earrings are a nod to our Indian artisans’ culture.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, and receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Pearls of Hope Bracelet from Thailand.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Sometimes…

Sometimes, life isn’t so pretty. Sometimes, insecurities win. Sometimes, we let our desire to be good outweigh the good that God is actually calling us to do.

Whatever distractions are holding you back personally, my biggest one is doubt.

I always doubt whether my actions are led by a desire to feel or seem good, or whether they are actually led by God’s will.

Am I living to glorify myself or to glorify God?

Am I living to please man or to please God?

Am I living by my wisdom or God’s?

It is so hard to navigate some of these feelings & sometimes it makes us want to just quit & hide away in comfort. (At least, that’s how it makes me feel).

And Today…

Today, I struggled yet again with these doubts.

I don’t know all the answers. I don’t know whether God will empower me to continue this blog or to shut it down to go wherever else He may be calling me, but until I figure that out, I will keep seeking God’s direction & I will keep seeking to honor Him.

Letting My Heart Show

The following prayer resulted from brain fog. Every week seems like a battle of the will to show up & write a blog & I am constantly doubting whether it is God’s will or whether I am just trying to feel like I am doing good. (Or whether Satan is just trying to keep me from shining any light of hope into this world).

Please pray this openly & ask God to show you His will for Your life. Don’t settle for hiding. Don’t settle for less. Don’t let excuses rule your day. God is bigger. God is able.

My Prayer

“Dear God,

I am not worthy to write this blog. Why did this come in my path? Are you asking me to do this, or is it my way to not feel like I am wasting my life? I say I want to serve You, but does my life really display that as reality? Or am I just wanting to feel good about myself?

I don’t think I can do this blog. I don’t want to do this blog. I don’t feel like I have anything worthy to say that could do any real good in anyone’s life.

Is this Your way of telling me to quit the blog or is Satan trying to dim Your light in my life? It is easy for me to believe the latter because this seems like something that would honor You, but at the same time, I have so distanced myself from You over my years of bitterness that I don’t know if I can always accurately discern Your voice anymore.

I wonder sometimes if I should give up working with Trades of Hope, too, because I have failed so miserably in representing them & in supporting my team. I wonder sometimes if I should quit my Facebook page community because I am so scattered & not always professional & others seem to not even be interested in it. I want to quit this blog because I wonder what good I could realistically do for You.

I feel like a failure at everything I try to do for You. Does this mean You don’t want me doing it? Or are You trying to teach me to rely on You instead of myself?

Show me what You want from me. Make Your voice clear amidst the insecurities & fears & facing the unknown. Show me what YOU want from me.

I know that oftentimes, we like to jump to do good & claim that it’s Your will when You might have a completely different plan for us that we’re avoiding because we think we have already figured things out for You.

I don’t want that. I want YOUR will. I want to shine YOUR light. Not mine.

I feel so conflicted that I just want to slam my laptop shut & never try blogging again.

I want to quit Trades of Hope & blogging & doing LIVE videos & all of it.

I don’t want to feel this conflict anymore. It was easier when I did nothing.

I want to sit on the couch & try to tune out the hurts in the world. I want to stay in pjs & watch tv & try not to care. I want so badly to be comfortable!

But then it isn’t any easier when I do nothing because I feel the pain of seeing a hurting world pass me by & then knowing I am doing nothing to make it any better.

I am a mess. I don’t deserve to be used by You. I don’t deserve for anyone to listen to me.

I have scars & a past & insecurities & weaknesses & areas of intense pride & I struggle being gracious to the flaws of others & I constantly choose comfort over You or the people of this world that You love so much who are hurting so much.

I don’t deserve to be a part of anything You are doing in this world.

I just want to be used by You & I don’t know how.

I don’t know how, God. Please show me Your will.

I don’t want to just do things that make me feel good about myself. I want to do Your will. I want to follow Your call. I want to join in where You are already working.

Not my will, but Yours be done.

Whether I quit this blog or whether You ask me to continue writing & continue allowing myself to be vulnerable for all the world to judge. Shine through it. Even if you ask me to do something harder than this. Your will. Not mine.

I am tired of making excuses & hiding from what I don’t yet know or understand.

Be the Light & shine a path for me.

Use me how You will, God. Make me Your vessel. Shine through my brokenness. Make me Your ambassador.

Show me Your will.

I am tired of trying to force goodness. I am tired of fighting against my excuses. I am tired of trying to be strong on my own. I am tired of being dragged down by the idol of Comfort. I am tired of living for me. I am tired of fighting You.

True strength & power & wisdom & peace & GOODNESS comes from You ALONE. Help me to stop trying to create it on my own, in my own strength. Help me to submit & to draw near to You.

Whatever is holding me back from Your will, remove it. Wherever I am hiding away, expose it with Your Truth. Wash me. Cleanse me. Renew my heart & mind & draw me back to Yourself.

I want to know You. I want to serve You out of LOVE & devotion. I want others to know Your love through how I live & how I love others. I want to be self-disciplined & productive in Your kingdom. I want to serve others by expressing Your love for them. I want a real faith defined by real action. I want to know & love You more.

Don’t give up on me.

In Jesus’ Powerful Name,

Amen.”

The Truth

The Truth? I don’t have it all together. Satan tries to discourage me. But when that happens, I have a choice. I can either choose to give up & stay where I’m at… forever… OR, I can take those fears, those doubts, those insecurities, & everything else that tries to hold me back to GOD. Because that’s when the real change can happen. That’s where the power is. Don’t give up… Give it to God.

Shine Hope, Lovelies. And don’t you ever give up.

Coming Up

This Thursday is time for our Special Feature blog post for this month! Check back Thursday morning for Part 2 of “A Love Story”! To catch up with Part 1 before Thursday, read it here.

Also, as always, check back next Monday morning for more encouragement.

I am praying that this reaches the women it was meant for. God sees you, Lovely.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Warrior Cuff

Empowering Women in India Out of Poverty!

This brass gold, hammered, stacked cuff opens in the back.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Empire Earrings, made by artisans in India.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

The Long-Gone Yesterdays

I must confess that this is a recent area of struggle for me.

But it didn’t use to be that way. I used to long to share every thought with God & to receive His peace & wisdom & strength in each given moment.

It was empowering to know that where I was weak, He was infinitely strong, & I could count on Him… Always.

But here I am, thirsting from six years of dryness in my life, having unlearned the precious practice of regular prayer.

What Once Was

I must tell you, after having experienced a life lived with prayer, this new normal seems like a constant battle, a constant striving, & a constant desperation to fill the emptiness that God’s peace once filled thoroughly.

How do you unlearn that wonderful habit of praying regularly & therefore regularly benefiting from God’s many blessings in our lives, you might wonder? Blessings like joy in trials, trust & faith when the world doesn’t make sense, strength when mine lacks, peace when the storms rage, etc. etc. etc.?

How does one experience all of those magnificent things through prayer & then simply walk away from it?

I’ll tell you how it happened for me.

The Root of My Downfall

Disappointment.

That’s right. All of those blessings I once relished & I tossed them all aside because God didn’t answer my prayers the way I thought He would (or rather, should, in my opinion).

After having gone through my wilderness of lacking friendships, lacking spiritual support, lacking comfort… I gave up asking, instead of changing my prayers & trusting anyway.

Be Open, Be Honest–It’s Worth It!

You see, we should definitely feel free & open to share every concern, every need, & every desire with God, because He wants us to have that open relationship with Him… But if we really want to be at peace & realize God’s power in our lives, we also have to be willing to pray for something a little more… for God’s will to be done & for us to trust Him in that will.

Do you remember that little nugget from the “Lord’s Prayer”? “Your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven”? (Matthew 6:10)

You see, God wants to interact with us in our lives & He wants to shower good things on us, like I mentioned earlier, but those things do not always come when we get our way, & God knows this.

His Ways Are Higher

Isaiah 55:8-9 says,

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

And it is so, so right!

We may think we know what we’re asking, but we have to keep in mind that God sees the big picture. He knows how all of the pieces fit together.

Connecting That to Prayer

So, when we are communicating with Him & we express our desires or longings, we need to learn to rest in that Truth—that God knows what He’s doing better than we do.

And when disappointments come, we need to come back to that fact all over again & pray that God help us rest in His plan above even our own.

But, I Didn’t

And that’s exactly what I had not been doing.

And now I am scrambling to get through each day & feeling like I am treading water some days, just trying to keep my head above water… because I got out of the habit of resting in Him when all seems lost… & even before it even gets to that point.

The JOYS I Once Experienced

Let me lay out for you a picture of what my relationship with God USED to look like, to contrast it with the scrambling I have been describing as my current prayer life.

Imagine a best friend whom you can tell anything. They always listen, even if it’s rambling. They are always patient & kind & gentle. When you mess up, they are quick to forgive. When they help you through a lesson you’ve been needing to learn, they are always so gentle & patient with you through it, never rushing your progress, but simultaneously never giving up on you (no matter how many times you miss the mark). You always feel safe & loved & wanted. He lifts the burdens of your past guilt or shame from your shoulders & gives you a lasting sense of freedom. When you feel stuck or troubled, He always has the right wisdom for just that moment. He is always there, always loving, & always strong, even when you are not.

That’s a tiny glimpse as to what a life of prayer offers you.

Seems pretty crazy that I gave that up, doesn’t it? Stupid, really.

When We Justify Our Mistakes

I guess I justified each time I refused to pray about something  because I didn’t think God would give me what I wanted, & He didn’t. And He knew better, like always. But I didn’t.

I got bitter that I felt lonely. I got bitter that I still didn’t have a baby. I got bitter that I couldn’t get a job for so long. I got bitter that Jamie worked so much. I got bitter that my efforts to encourage others seemed unwanted. I got bitter that I didn’t have “my way”.

I gave up on SO MUCH just because I was disappointed & selfish in my prayers.

And because I didn’t trust Him enough to just talk to Him about it & let Him work it out.

Lessons Sometimes Take a While to Learn

And you would think that I would have learned my lesson by this point in my life. I have had many times of disappointment that I trusted to God, & I found so much joy & peace & strength as a result!

In the past, when I had something crash & burn or I felt a prayer go unanswered, I would ask Him to guide my heart & thoughts to trust Him through it. I would let my requests be made known to Him, through prayer, but then I would leave the rest up to Him & ask for His peace to fill me as He did the leading.

But I gave that up.

God Keeps Forgiving

Sometimes I ask myself how I could be that dense. How could I KNOW the benefits of trusting it all to God, no matter what, & then just throw it all away because I didn’t get my way?

But then I remember this, I am still so full of pride & selfishness that I too often excuse away. And I am weak. I am human, & I have limitations. And yes, I could have (& should have!) trusted God anyway, but sometimes I am reminded through my failures just how amazing He is.

Have you heard the phrase, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”?

It’s a valuable reminder for us when we go through this time of failure.

Getting Too Comfortable

I grew too comfortable in drawing my hope from Him, that I started believing that it was by my merit that He answered the ways He did, versus His simple goodness & grace in my life.

I don’t DESERVE any of His goodness or faithfulness, but He chooses to give it every single day… if only I am willing to accept it instead of throwing it aside because it doesn’t look like what I specifically asked Him for.

But the amazing thing about God is that He IS faithful. And He is forgiving & patient & ENOUGH.

Prodigal Daughter & the Welcoming Father

I am the prodigal daughter in this scenario. I asked for what I didn’t deserve in the first place, squandered my life to try to get my way, & am now dejected, lost, & alone, realizing that my way hasn’t brought me the joy I thought it would.

And as I turn back, broken & scarred… ashamed of my behavior & the mistreatment of God’s faithfulness & mercies… ready to learn all over again what I left behind….

There God is, not a scornful look on His face. Not crossed arms. Not judgment & lectures waiting to be dumped on me upon my return.

NO.

There He is. An understanding, gentle smile on His face. Arms wide open. Ready to love me & forgive me & work toward rebuilding our relationship.

Because that’s who He is.

He is a good, GOOD Father.

Lay It All Before Him… Come Back to Him

I don’t deserve any of it. Sobs rock me even as I write this, just being reminded of what I tossed aside so childishly, only to return to His welcoming grace & love, which He so undeservedly offers me.

Prayer doesn’t have to be formal & unrealistic.

God knows you better than you know yourself.

He can handle your disappointments, your anger & frustrations, your desires & mistakes.

Share those with Him.

Ask For It

Ask for His wisdom. Ask for His strength to cover you. Ask for Him to be your source of peace. Ask Him to cover your insecurities & inadequacies with His power. Ask Him to forgive your worst sins (He WILL forgive them all). Ask Him to guide your each step. Ask Him to renew your heart & mind, & to give you a fresh start. Ask Him to show you who HE created you to be, & to wash away anything about you that is more of a result of your mistakes & the lies of this world & to replace all of that with His wisdom & grace.

He is enough, Lovely. Every single time. He. Is. ENOUGH.

And prayer is a beautiful gift & privilege.

So be willing to come before Him & talk to Him like a best friend, like a loving Father, & as the King above all things in Heaven & on Earth.

He is waiting with open arms. He is waiting for you.

Amen!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday for my newest weekly blog post!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Unity Necklace

Empowering women out of poverty in Haiti & India!

Upcycled beads made from glass and clay from Haiti’s mountains hang on a silver plated chain.

Artisan Information:

Haiti had this century’s worst natural disaster and is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of the orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths or natural disasters, but by parents who had to give them up simply because they could not feed them. The group we work with is an “un-orphanage” and is helping with the orphan crisis by providing parents with sustainable business through creating beautiful products like this necklace.

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Haiti!

(*Also pictured: Western Stud Trio (silver pair), empowering women in India!)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!