When We Feel Like We’re Standing Alone

Have you ever felt frustrated because you are gaining deeper insight into who God is & the depth of His love for us & the vastness of what He is capable of in helping us to live for Him… but no one else seems to care… even Christian friends & family?

Has it ever seemed like you are the only one who wants to learn more about Him & strive to live for Him, while fellow Christians in your circles just seem to be okay with what they already know & don’t really want any more?

Honesty moment here—I have.

But, I Do It, Too

Now, I am NOT saying that I always get it right or that I am always seeking God diligently or that I never struggle with self-centered thinking & rebellious thoughts toward God.

BUT, sometimes it can feel like others just turn their ears off when I want to share how wonderful God is & how much He is willing to HELP them live for Him.

I mean, wouldn’t people WANT to know how God can take some stress off their backs & help give them strength, wisdom, & peace?

But no, I get it… We, as human beings (me included, since I am indeed a human being), want to feel capable & self-assured. We can feel a little offended when someone implies that these are lies Satan satiates us with versus attainable realities that we blindly hope they are.

Having Control Makes Us Lose Control

Why do we do that? Why do we self-sabotage simply even by trying to self-protect or handle it on our own? Why do we cling to control as if we can possibly do a better job than our unconditionally loving & all-powerful Creator God?

As if having control would make our lives better on our limited understanding, knowledge, wisdom, capabilities, etc. etc. etc.?

When Sharing Hope Leads to Disappointment

I had such an instance happen today.

I excitedly shared with a friend some things God has been teaching me, encouraged to brighten her life with a bigger perspective of our great God, thinking I would surely be met with either a, “I know! Isn’t He so magnificent? Oh, I never get tired of remembering how capable & loving & patient & wonderful He is!” or, “Oh wow, God really IS so great & this just shows again how much He really DOES LOVE US!!”

But instead, I was met with almost a backlash of, “I think doing it my way is working okay enough.”

But… what?

Why do we do that to ourselves?

Why Do We Settle for Just “Okay”?

Why would we settle for our way… our “okay enough”… when GOD offers us significantly more at HIS expense, not even ours?

It’s like, “here, let Me give you strength so you’re not so tired, some wisdom so you’re not so stressed, & some love & peace mixed in there to let you know how much you mean to Me. And all you have to do is ask me for help.”

And our response is so often, “Um, I don’t want to ask for help because I am going to figure it out myself & if I just do more self-care then I won’t need the God-given strength & then maybe I will post a selfie & say, “felt cute, might delete later” to get the affirmation I need. So, I don’t need to ask for Your help. I’m fine, really.”

What?

Why?

I know I do it, too, so don’t think I am excluding myself on this. I am certainly NOT letting myself off the hook for this kind of thinking.

But, why???

In the Multitude of My Anxieties

After the very dumbfoundingly discouraging response from my friend, our conversation ended with an weird off-ness. I almost just plopped on the couch & cried from the confusion & sadness that overwhelmed me at their complete lack of interest in God’s help (& they’re a long-time Christian).

So, I remembered Psalm 94:19 “In the multitude of my anxieties, Your comforts delight my soul,” & so I stopped to pray something like this:

“God, why? Why would someone who knows You not even want to ask You for help like they don’t know they can trust You with more than just eternal salvation? Do they not even care? Do they not want to know You more or see You do more in their life than just meeting the status quo? Why don’t they care? Why do so many people seem to NOT CARE? Don’t they know how much You love them & HOW POWERFUL You are & all You can do for them to help them live for You like they always say they want? But then they refuse to even ASK You. WHY???”

God Is Still God

And God’s truthful reminders started coming across my heart, “Just breathe. I am not expecting you to be responsible for fixing everyone’s hearts. They are just human, like you. They make mistakes & get it wrong, just like you. But, I am God. I am not thwarted. I can work through even their disbelief. Remove the pressure that is building in your heart & take your burden for the world & put it on My shoulders. I will not hold you responsible for their bad choices. Just speak the Truth in Love & leave the rest to Me. I will take care of them. Just you be responsible for your choices & trusting Me every step. Leave the rest up to Me & just ask for My help & guidance to stay faithful to what I call you to & let Me handle the rest.”

Take Up HIS Yoke

And so, the beautiful Biblical reminders flooded my heart, from Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to Me, all you who are weary & burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you & learn from Me, for I am gentle & humble in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy & My burden is light.”

Taking His yoke is like a little flea sharing a yoke with a giant ox. How much contribution do you think the flea has to offer in that scenario? Not much, I’ll tell you that.

And that is a magnificent portrayal of a life lived in surrender to God.

We fight it so much, clinging to a sense of personal control, but what will really bless us is to give up that control for Him to carry the weight while we walk in His way by trusting Him with every step.

Pray With Me

So, if you’re like me, my friend I mentioned earlier, & every other human in existence & you struggle trying to maintain control over your life to try it your way, in your strength, & in your wisdom… pray with me.

Pray & ask God to help you see the MORE that He offers you.

Pray to have a humble & wakened heart, to know His deep, wide love for you & the vastness of His great power that He offers to help us if we but ask.

Because He DELIGHTS in us taking HIS yoke & us putting our burdens on Him & Him giving US rest, peace, wisdom, strength, hope, grace, mercy, joy, self-control, etc. etc. etc.

1 John 5:14-15, says, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”

So, ASK HIM.

He’s Got You, Babe

Let’s all work at being a little better at letting the God of the Universe be in charge, while we strive to trust Him with more & lean into Him more as we seek to live under His lead. He’s got you, babe.

Shine HOPE by refusing to do it yourself & asking for HIS HELP.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Onyx Necklace

Modern hammered brass necklace features 3 genuine onyx drops.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Post #100! Woohoo & Thank You!

First of all, I want to thank you for joining me on this journey that started as an idea, turned into a dream, & was nudged & helped along by God’s working things out—my Blog.

Today marks my 100^th post! I never thought I could EVER be consistent in something that didn’t have any real, solid deadline, a paycheck resting on it, or a boss checking in on me… But through MANY prayers for God’s help on the days I just wanted to forget it & do what I wanted, no matter how lazy on that day, & through your encouragement & support to keep going, GOD HAS SEEN ME THROUGH IT!

Praise God! I am amazed at how strongly He has been a part of every step as I turned it over to Him in times of my self-focused, lazy, “wanna quit” days. He is Good.

Only By & Through Him

This celebration of reaching blog post #100 is a GREAT Segway into our topic this week- “Why Pray When God Already Knows?” because it was only through leaning into God for help & motivation & wisdom that got me to this point where I can celebrate!

It is a celebration of His faithfulness & strength in the face of my own humanity.

Anyone Else?

I am by no means an expert on prayer. I oftentimes am HORRIBLE at even REMEMBERING to pray.

I seem to like to try & fail until I am ready to quit before I reach out to Him.

I seem to like to try my own wisdom before asking for His.

I seem to wait until I am overwhelmed & full of anxiety before I realize I can reach out to Him for help.

I also seem to think sometimes that because I am a Christian, it is the same as praying & I should just succeed because of that… before realizing He still asks me to ask Him when I need something (otherwise I am too tempted to credit my own “righteousness” or works as the reason He helped). Anyone else guilty of this??

I mean, there are countless Bible verses that discuss the urge/command/need for prayer & for ASKING God, versus just expecting Him to do it because we want it.

The How to & the When to Are Also Important, But a Subject for Another Day

HOW TO pray, in being humble & coming to God with the sense of “You are God & I am not, please help me,” could be a whole separate topic.

WHEN TO pray is also its own topic—beyond the simplified command of “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) to focus on what that could encompass of areas of our lives we tend to forget to pray most often.

but today’s focus is on the WHY.

Why Pray?

WHY pray? Why pray when God already knows what you’re thinking at every moment, even more clearly & distinctly than you can even perceive, with even all of the traumas & fears & insecurities that can influence exactly what you are thinking at every moment.

He knows your prayers before you even speak them, so why do it?

He Wants to Hear from YOU

First, I would like to share a simple illustration to help us get started with the first reason I want to highlight: He wants a strong RELATIONSHIP with us, which requires communication.

Imagine having a child where every day, before they come home from school, their teacher writes you to share every single thing the child did or faced or accomplished that day… but when your child gets home & you ask about their day, they share nothing. Was it enough to already know? Or would you long for your child to see how much you CARE about their day & to share it TOGETHER?

God may know it all, but He wants to hear it from YOU. He wants you to know HOW MUCH He cares about you. He wants to be a part of the little things. He wants to be a part of your life, supporting, encouraging, growing, strengthening, comforting, & helping you along the way.

Abba Father

One of the names given for God in the Bible is Father. And He is the BEST Father that WILL EVER exist. He loves you SOOOOOOO much & He wants to hear all about your day & be a part of every moment that matters to you (whether crushing or wonderful) & everything in between.

So, talk to Him! About everything. He is listening.

Stronger Than Superman, by FAR & He Wants to Help You in Life & to Live for Him

Other than wanting a relationship with us, He wants to help.

When we talk to Him & share our woes, we can ask Him for comfort & strength & wisdom.

When He asks something of us or tells us to do something for our good, He wants us to ask Him to help us do it, versus us relying on sheer willpower.

There are so many things that we miss out on regularly simply because we fail to even rely on Him & ask Him for it!

How Often Do We Miss Out on All He Offers Us in Life?

He offers peace, wisdom, guidance, strength, joy, hope, growth, resources, & power to accomplish what He asks of us—it seems almost stupid not to ask, but I can’t even count how many times I forget!

He goes before us & sees the entire timeline of humanity. He already knows what will happen, is not caught off guard, & already has a plan in place if we but ask Him.

So, (& I am also talking to myself here, too), remember to ask Him for all things & talk to Him about your life & your thoughts & concerns & doubts & worries & insecurities & fears & hopes & dreams & cares.

He is waiting to hear from you.

Shine HOPE by building your relationship with God our Father & by leaning into Him through prayer in your tasks, worries, etc. He is able & willing, so lean into Him in all things. (Even if things don’t work out the way you wish, trust Him to work His plan out in an even better way than you can dream up. He’s got it covered & wants to let you work alongside Him in His plan.)

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

(One of my personal FAVORITES!-MH)

This curved bar necklace features gold and rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain, this piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Almost the End to a New Beginning

Well, we are one “Pivot” moment away from finishing this series! That’s so hard to believe after these (including this one) 14 “Pivots” that we have walked through together.

A Different Sort of Autobiography

It has always been a dream of mine to write an “autobiography”, not of what amazing things I have accomplished or done, but what God has worked in my life that I never saw as possible from my human perspective.

Being given the opportunity to share all of these moments with you has been a pleasure, especially the reminders, even for myself, of all that God has done & is capable of doing in our lives as we lean into Him.

Maybe someday I will better edit all of these “Pivot” stories into that autobiography of sorts. I guess we will see where God leads!

Trouble in Paradise

But, for today, we are talking about a touchy (& freeing) topic.

It’s touchy because a lot of hurt often surrounds this topic, but it’s freeing knowing the right perspective of leaning into God above all else, whether things work out or not.

“Trouble in Paradise”, as I have titled it, is a story of God doing what I felt was the impossible… bridging the gap in marital (or relational) trouble.

In It Together

You see, after God had led every step of our dating relationship as we leaned into Him consistently for direction & answers (read more, here), we felt like our bond was unbreakable.

We were bound together by trust in Him & a friendship built on Him.

Nothing could shake us.

We had aired all of our “dirty laundry” by sharing our deepest shames & hurts & mistakes… but we were forgiven.

We had shared all of our quirks… but we were accepted.

We had faced hurt & struggle… but had prayed through it all… together.

After the “Happily Ever After”

But then we moved to Guam… 3 months after we were married.

And things weren’t as great anymore.

We started out strong, but between the stress of adjustment to life on the other side of the globe & Jamie working 12 hour shifts several days a week (& usually taking on extra shifts for co-workers), let’s just say that it began to take its toll on us.

I felt neglected. He felt over-worked & stretched thin.

I felt bored & restless. He felt exhausted & ready to crash.

I felt alone & in need of company. He felt over-stimulated & in need of alone time.

We felt placed on opposite ends of every spectrum, unable to bridge the divides that seemed to be getting wider every month.

Beginning to Feel the Strain… Pull Us Apart

Fights became easier. Disagreements & misunderstandings were more common. Emotions were high & needs were left unmet on both sides.

We were strained & frustrated & tired.

My needs became a burden on us both—not because he didn’t think they or I were important, but because after work, he had nothing left to give.

Personal Perceptions Are Often Deceptive

But I felt like he must think me & my needs unimportant because they were SO important to me & yet he still didn’t meet them.

And he felt like I was putting too much pressure on him because he was already exhausted from work every day.

We were disconnected & hurt.

We argued & fought & stormed off & shut doors more forcefully than necessary.

We hurt.

I found myself often crying alone, curled up on the floor of our bathroom, with the lights out.

What I Wanted

I had heard that marriage was hard, but I felt like I had lost my very best friend, just by getting married to him.

I wanted to leave him & go back to America & be with my family & friends.

I wanted the hurt to stop.

I was learning very clearly in that time the truth that our spouse is not meant to fulfill our needs.

Only God can do that.

It’s Not Like the Movies… But It’s So Much Better

But culture sings a different tune, one where our spouse, who probably wishes they actually could, can fulfill all of your dreams & make you the happiest person imaginable.

And we probably still want to do that, but realistically, we don’t have the power to do that.

We have our own fears, hurts, insecurities, weaknesses, trauma, shortcomings, failures, etc. & when you join two imperfect people, you’re obviously going to have an imperfect marriage.

So Much Freedom in Removing That Expectation!

And oh the burden we are freed from when we realize that being our spouse’s EVERYTHING is not our purpose or even in our ability.

And oh the freedom it GIVES our spouse to release them from that supposed expectation.

Then, How?

So how did we do it? How are we good friends & happily married after the battle wounds we received in that painful couple years?

Prayer.

That’s right… prayer.

But, I Didn’t Start There

But, like I said, I first resorted to balling up in figurative tears (Fun Fact: I can’t cry actual tears) & wanting to quit it all & run from the hurt.

I resorted to wanting to bail & start over at home with my family. I wanted to give up because I felt so unloved.

But Jamie still loved me terribly, & through the deep ache, I loved him just as much… so why weren’t we able to express that to each other?

My Ache Turned Into My Prayer

At the end of one of our arguments, I was laying in bed, with my back turned to Jamie… silently sobbing into the edge of my pillow, begging God for help & pouring out my heart to Him like I had done countless times before on the floor of our bathroom.

“God, why is this happening! Why do I feel like Jamie & I are so far apart?! How did we get here!? I miss him so much & I HATE that we’re always at odds with each other… but I feel like no matter what, we’re never on the same page… like he doesn’t ever care about me! I feel so alone & betrayed. I thought he loved me but he gets mad or frustrated when I even want to spend time with him & he just plays video games alone in his spare time, with his headphones on, like I am just a home accessory!! He used to make me feel like his whole world & now he barely even talks to me. I hate my life here. I hate what this job has taken from me… from us. I want him back but that seems impossible now. Too many things we can’t take back & too many misunderstandings & disagreements. I don’t even feel like I know him anymore… Like I have been tricked. Did he never really love me? How can he act so callously toward me? Help us. Show us the way back to each other. PLEASE. Help us. Help me. I don’t know how to get back to him anymore & I miss him so much. Please show me what to do.”

God’s Response… God’s Solution… Trust HIM

… “Ask him to pray with you.”

That was the simple thought the washed over my mind like a gentle breeze.

“Ask him to pray with you.”

But I didn’t want to.

Did Jamie even care? Did he even want us back? If he cared, he would have tried already. (So many insecurities rushed over my heart.)

“Ask Him to pray with you.”

FINE. But I don’t want to.

And When I Obeyed God’s Guiding, God Healed

“Jamie, we should pray.”

“Ok.”

And so he prayed a prayer that shocked & shook me & expressed all the love for me that I was afraid wasn’t there.

To paraphrase his prayer:

“God, I don’t know what to do. We can’t seem to get along. I love Michelle, but I am too tired. I am stretched thin at work & I just don’t have the energy to be what she needs me to be. It hurts that I don’t feel like I can help her & it’s frustrating. Help me know what to do. Please help her hurt. Amen.”

And then I prayed my hurt out loud, too.

And we both cried & we hugged each other & just clung on.

God Knew How

It ended up that we genuinely both wanted a solution but neither of us new how to make it happen, were doing the best we knew how, & had different expectations on what that should look like.

And when we started both turning to God, instead of ourselves or each other, as the solution, God started to shape us & guide us along a path to help us both care for each other.

We became more understanding of each other’s needs, while not trying to meet them in our own wisdom or understanding, but by God’s.

We began letting go of the expectations we had placed on the other person to meet our needs & started leaning into God instead.

And we began to heal.

Start Looking to God for the Answers

God was the glue that took our efforts & our understanding & all of our other limitations & acted as our bridge to cover the great divide for us.

We stopped looking inward to fulfill each other.

We stopped looking to each other to fulfill ourselves.

And we started looking to God, together.

He is our glue. He is our bridge. He is our wisdom & solution. He is our strength.

A Work in Progress, Led by Grace

Do we still have disagreements & misunderstandings & occasional bad attitudes that we really shouldn’t be taking out on each other but it’s far too easy to do? Yes.

But we know the way back now. PRAYER. Leaning into GOD.

And we’re learning to turn to God BEFORE it gets bad, knowing we will reach the end of our limitations far sooner.

We’re human & we mess up. We are learning, but we don’t always get it right.

But God is the solution to that, too… because He will never stop working on our hearts. He is always ready to give grace as we grow toward Him.

He is a Good, Good Father.

Shine Hope, by letting God be your glue… & your bridge… to healing.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side & off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

God Will Continue to Work

Well, we’re nearing the end of my pivotal moments series (for now). I know God will continue to shape me & continue to shake up my normal for His truth.

Trusting God AND Ourselves… Versus Just God

Today, we are following last week’s topic about trusting God through our struggles instead of coming up with our own solutions that, in turn, create new problems. (Like trusting in singleness & then panicking when God brings a relationship into your damaged heart life.)

It’s far too easy to try trusting God AND our own solution, versus JUST trusting GOD.

We tend to think the two are the same thing. Saying to ourselves & others, “I prayed (therefore, “trusting God”), but then I will do what I think will fix it versus waiting for His solution.”

So, it warrants a discussion about praying our way through fears, & trusting God, when we’re tempted to rely on our own strategy, “wisdom,” fears, etc.

(To read our Love Story, in short story form, check them out by clicking Part 1 & Part 2.)

But How?

But how does God answer our prayers? What does “trusting God only” even mean? How do we know what He wants when it’s different than what we want? How do you hear God’s answers? How do you even know His will if you can’t HEAR Him?

Those types of questions are so common & I have thought ALL of them. I still don’t have a comprehensive understanding of how God works & will probably always have something to learn when it comes to the answers to those questions.

But God oftentimes (pretty much exclusively) leads us with baby steps, versus dumping all of His infinite knowledge on us all at once.

Remember, He is an INFINITE God.

We, on the contrary, are FINITE.

But, baby steps.

So, when my now husband, Jamie, entered my life, I first panicked, then prayed.

Unbeknownst to Me

But unbeknownst to me, Jamie was already praying… & not about wanting a relationship with me.

He was ALSO praying to avoid another heartache.

But God kept nudging him… to me.

He kept avoiding… kept praying to stay single… but God would not let him ignore me.

It wasn’t a push to get married, just an undeniable push to befriend me.

This obviously clashed with my desire to avoid him at all costs, haha. Thanks, God.

And when I could no longer avoid him, upon him asking me on our first date, I finally had to stop running & start praying.

Praying My Desire Versus Praying to Trust God’s Plan

Now, let’s be clear that I HAD been praying the whole time… but not for God’s will, wisdom, & direction… but for me to stay single (what I thought I wanted aka what I thought would keep me safest from heartbreak).

And now, I had to make a clear decision & I had to ask God’s will & guidance & HELP. I had to be willing to trust God with both scenarios of relationship or singlehood, not just singlehood.

My Prayer

But then God whispered on my heart, “Do you remember what you have been praying these last few years?”

I did. It went something like, “God, help me to trust Your plan & not just the fears or perceptions I see in front of me. Help me to see that if I marry, you are wanting me to marry a man that will grow into the man I need, versus someone perfectly fit right now. Help me to see Your will above my own. Help me to not judge someone based on their NOW, versus Your potential within them. If I marry, Lord, help it be someone who is willing to let me down in order to follow YOUR LEAD. Because You know far better what’s best for me than I do. And, Lord, because I will no longer flirt or “help things along”, I will go on at least ONE date with a man willing to ask me out when I have shown zero interest… knowing how much courage that takes. Amen.”

Well, now a guy was asking me out & I had to put my faith to the test.

I had prayed those things more than I could count. And now was my opportunity to trust God’s answer & His willingness to lead me every step.

And He did.

(But I still freaked out & panicked & wanted to bail along the way, because fear is quite a motivator.)

Ask Anyway…

But for those of you who have those questions of how God could even help… & so avoid asking God for help in those moments, wondering what God could possibly do that you haven’t already tried yourself (sounds arrogant & completely ridiculous just writing it, doesn’t it?… but isn’t that what we sort of feel, if we’re completely honest with ourselves?)… I want to share my journey & what God did for me in the midst of my questions.

My pastor friend told me many times while dating my now husband, “God is not a God of confusion. If you want answers & you seek Him for those answers, He WILL answer you… you just need to wait on God’s timing for those answers & trust that HE is capable.”

Waiting on God for Every Step, Like a Daughter Dancing on Her Father’s Feet

And so, despite my inner rebel telling me to flee the scene & not risk another heartbreak, I kept praying & I took those baby steps, waiting on God’s timing & God’s answers instead of trusting my own fear & worry.

Here are some ways I prayed & ways that God answered me along the way:

(HINT: God is an infinite God. What He guides me through is not a cut & paste testimony, but rather an EXAMPLE of how personal God is with us, when we let Him. Don’t rely on how God led ME in lieu of letting Him lead YOU. What worked for me may not work for you. You have to take steps of trusting Him with your own situation. He will guide you!)

1. Praying Before We Even Met

As I mentioned before, it’s important to be praying beforehand so you are prepared to follow & listen to God when you DO meet. Pray for discernment, peace, wisdom, trust to follow God whether in singleness or marriage… & anything else that comes to mind or worries you.

But, if you’re already in a relationship, it’s never too late to start.

2. Pray, Willing to Give It Up If It’s Not God’s Guiding

Along the way, I prayed for God to guide me… for Him to kick me out of the dating relationship, with completely clear certainty, if it wasn’t His best for us. (I was sort of hoping He would kick me out of it so the risk of heartbreak would evaporate with it.)

I prayed not to cling, not to romanticize, not to make anything more than it was. I prayed for God’s perspective to overshadow my own. I prayed to be willing to allow His will to trump mine.

3. Praying for Perspective When You Meet

I knew I was a daydreamer, wrapped up in every new possibility….

And I felt God nudging my heart in a very specific way during the beginning of my time with Jamie, “Michelle, you fall head over heels immediately when a guy holds your hand & holds you in long, comforting hugs… & if you really want to stay objective to knowing My will, you know you need to avoid physical affection because that’s a personal weakness & trigger for you.”

And so, I set strict physical contact boundaries for our dating relationship. No hugs, no kisses, no holding hands, no arms around the shoulder… & no sex. And I stuck to it.

I wanted to know Jamie for who he was, not for how he made me feel. Feelings change. I wanted more than temporary, unreliable feelings.

4. Praying Over Character/Personality & Whether It Was a Good Match with How God Designed Me

Clashes happen a lot in marriage, even when you’re “a good fit for each other.”

God had shown me different character traits that were important to me along the way, such as being willing to displease me in order to obey God… Or someone who was a kind & gentle listener, seeking to understand & discuss, versus brush off… Someone who, even with flaws & weaknesses, sought to know & love God more… not to just be a “good enough person.”

I prayed often over very specific things, asking God to show me if Jamie at least had that potential &/or willingness to grow… WITHOUT me prompting it… (& that is an important distinction)! If he knew I felt I needed certain traits & he liked me, don’t you think he would do his best to be that for me? But no, I wanted to hear it from God, not Jamie… so I never once hinted at my hopes.

My prayers were silent, between me & God only.

And every prayer resulted in Jamie telling me something like this the next day or so, “I don’t know why, because this seems really random to talk about, but I feel like telling you this story about one time when [enter a story about said character trait that I had recently prayed about here] happened.”

Blew my mind every time, but God was constantly finding ways to reaffirm His guidance in our relationship, because I was diligently seeking His will first.

5. I Set Boundaries of Potential Relationship Timing & PRAYED

After pouring out my heart to Jamie, after our very first date, expressing all of my fears & concerns, I asked him to wait THREE months before even considering asking to make it an official relationship. Friends only–no relationship talk, no romance, nothing. Just friends–for three MONTHS.

And I prayed & asked God for His wisdom & guidance & timing & I didn’t even dare try to “help it along” … I just waited on God.

Coupling with my desire to be with a man willing to disappoint me in order to obey God’s leading, I asked God to have Jamie go against my three-month request in order to ONLY trust God, even at the risk of scaring me away for good. I asked for God to push Jamie to ask me before the end of three WEEKS’ time.

And I didn’t ONCE even HINT that I was praying that as a confirmation from God. Not once.

And guess what… On December 31^st, mere hours before the three week time frame was over, Jamie spoke up… “Michelle, I have been praying like you asked me to, for God’s will & timing versus my feelings & I got my answer a couple days ago, but have continued praying & continued waiting because you told me not to even bring it up until three months, but I can’t shake the feeling that I am supposed to tell you now. I have been battling it all day & praying it away because I am terrified of scaring you away, but I feel like God wants me to say it now, so I need to say it now. I feel like God wants me to ask you out today. Will you agree to an official relationship? Will you be my girlfriend?”

If you are imagining a cartoon where the person’s jaw literally hits the floor, you are imagining pretty closely to how I felt in that exact moment.

I prayed. I waited. God answered.

God Is Infinite… God Is Infinitely Creative… God ANSWERS

As I said before, God is infinite & infinitely creative. The way He works through my life is not the same as how He will choose to move, through prayer, in your own life.

This story is meant to prompt you to PRAY… to seek God alone… To trust that HE knows what He’s doing & He CAN & WILL guide you & give you wisdom as you seek Him.

Trust Him, always… It’s ALWAYS worth it.

And when you don’t feel like you even know how to begin trusting Him… Start there… Ask Him to help you know how to trust Him. He will, my friend. He will.

Shine HOPE, by praying through the fears & unknowns (which are often the same thing).

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Brave Necklace

With hand-rolled cereal box beads, Haitian clay beads, and paired with suede tan cording, this staple necklace is perfect for any wardrobe.

Artisan Information:

Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of these orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths, but by parents who gave them up simply because they could not afford to feed them. No mother should have to give up her child. Through your purchase, you provide parents with a sustainable income, so they can keep their children! Be a part of families stepping into bright futures together!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Haiti!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

We Have a Love/Hate Relationship

So, if you follow me on Social Media, you will know that blogging & I have a love/hate relationship.

I love the results of growth, encouraging others toward hope, & giving God the glory.

I also love getting to share my heart & talk about what I am passionate about in hopes that it sparks hope, encouragement, & inspiration in the hearts of my readers.

BUT, the logistics of editing is… well… not my best friend. I tend to drag my feet for hours after I write out my post, not wanting to do the tedious part of actually making it look good & ready to post.

My Growth = Your Reward

So, I thought I would share some tips that I have learned along the way, in hopes that it will be a source of information, encouragement, & inspiration for you.

Even if you don’t plan to blog, some of the lessons I have learned can be applied to other areas of life, so don’t run away quite yet!

Let’s get the party started!

Tip 1: Pray through the Details

Just as in life, when blogging, it’s important to pray through the details.

Yes, it’s easy to say, ‘I will just pray in general over the blog (or life) in hopes that it turns out okay’… but it’s important to pray specifics.

“Lord, help my blog (life) to glorify you today. Help give me the words You want me to say so that it points people back to You, not me.”

“Lord, help give me the topic you want me to share or talk about… help me to feel peace when editing & please help clear my mind so I can do this post justice with the edits… help me to be gracious with myself over my mistakes… help me to be encouraging to others as I write today….”

Be specific! God is listening & waiting to offer help throughout your day & life. It is crazy how many VERBS in the Bible are proceeded by “God…”

We give ourselves & others so much credit (& pressure!) because the physical actions & audible words are what we see & hear… but God is the One doing the hard lifting!

A blog post I shared a couple months ago talks about this–“Unless the Lord Builds It, I Labor in Vain”. (Check it out, here!) It’s based on the short 5-verse chapter of Psalm 127, talking about God’s role in our efforts. Remember that perspective when you start to look outward or inward for your source! Look up & pray!

Tip 2: Keep It Simple

(*Extra Tip: You can pray & ask God to help you find more ways that you are overcomplicating if you find something becoming a strain! He can give you wisdom on ways to simplify that I haven’t even discovered yet!)

A. Need a selfie for a teaser post for your upcoming LIVE video, but you struggle to have your life together early enough to be dressed & ready to go in time to post it? (This might be a personal example, haha.) Then use a selfie you took earlier in the week & then just recreate that look when it’s time to film later on! Bam! Easy button pushed!

B. Struggle finding the right lighting for photos or videos? Order a clip-on Selfie Light that clips onto your cell phone. Bam! Instant good lighting, no matter the weather or lightbulb outage situation! (Who else puts off changing light bulbs until several are out to save time? I might do this… Haha.)

C. Struggle making graphics? Download Canva or similar FREE programs & use presets… then, just modify! Choose a couple fonts & a few colors that complement each other well & just switch them around & add a new photo for a fresh look each time. Easy peasy!

Tip 3: Brand Yourself

Back when I first started learning how to set up a website, I did a whole post on the importance & benefit of branding yourself, (even if you don’t own a business or blog!). (If you want to go more in-depth into branding, check that post out, here.)

To cut it short for this post, since I went in depth on the post mentioned above, branding oneself is not just for social media influencers & entrepreneurs. Absolutely EVERYONE can benefit from it!

How? Because the foundation of branding yourself is knowing what you stand for & presenting it in a way that others can relate to & understand you.

Who doesn’t want that?

Choosing colors & fonts that represent your personality well… Choosing how you want to be presented to others & learning how to communicate that is valuable!

Tip 4: Be Consistent

People want to know they can count on you!

This doesn’t mean you can’t allow yourself a sick day, mistake, or a chance to back off when life throws you a curveball—I didn’t do any LIVE videos when I went back to Virginia to visit family, although I did maintain my blog deadlines that I set for myself.

It’s okay to take breaks & to ask for graciousness to be extended to you, but consistency in most of life is key.

If you can’t follow through on a commitment, give people a head’s up as soon as possible.

Some people may ignore you (even unintentionally) at first, but if you present yourself as a consistent presence, it starts to get noticed more frequently & is taken more seriously. Give yourself grace. Give yourself time. Just keep showing up! You never know who is listening & benefiting from your efforts, even when they keep quiet about it.

Positive feedback & accolades feel great, but shouldn’t be depended on to keep going. Pray for perspective & the will to keep pushing forward to do what God has called you to, even when compliments are nonexistent.

Even if you don’t see results, God has a plan.

Tip 5: Be Kind to Others… & Yourself

It’s easy to be passionate, but don’t let your passion keep you from compassion.

When sharing your story, keep in mind that unless God Himself spoke it, it is your perspective. God sees the whole picture; we just see what we have personally learned or experienced.

Also, we have all had personal experiences that are quite different from others around us, so realize that others are looking at your story through the lens of their past.

Learn to be gracious in your own mistakes & the mistakes of others. No one is perfect & we’re not meant to be… & that’s okay!

Learn to lean into God through your weaknesses, instead of beating yourself up. Ask Him to strengthen you in those areas & to help bring growth.

And when we’re tempted to share the weaknesses or mistakes of others, give grace & stop & pray. Ask God to help you have a right perspective & to be gracious, even if we don’t feel like it. We can’t unsay something hurtful, & the ripple effect will most likely spread beyond our ability to repair. So always pray & ask God for help you through times of difficulty with others!

Tip 6: Be Authentic. Be YOU.

Aside from reminding you to pray that 1-God gets the glory & 2-that He guide you along the process… this is my #1 tip!

It’s easy to push the narrative you think people will want to hear from you or to post or share stuff you think people will like, but don’t lose yourself along the way.

God made you specifically you for a reason-silly quirks & all. Don’t try to be someone else FOR someone else.

Ask God to show you who He created you to be & ask His help to stay true to His design & plan for your life. His opinion is the one that matters most, because He knows where you were meant to fit & who you were meant to influence.

In trying to reach everyone, we lose most everyone because no one is quite sure who we actually are & we don’t seem to know either. This goes back to branding yourself & knowing who YOU is.

So, don’t worry about trying to impress people. Just share your story & ask God to help give you the words & ask Him to help you give Him the glory—That’s what truly counts!

The Quick Recap

I hope that even if you don’t blog, or if you are considering blogging, these tips are a big help to you! We all have a learning curve when trying something new, so it’s always great when we can pick up tips that we don’t have to struggle through learning ourselves, am I right?

As a recap: Pray through the details, Keep it simple, Brand yourself, Be consistent, Be kind to others & yourself, & Be authentic, be YOU!

I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week lovely, & always aim to shine HOPE, through leaning into God for wisdom, courage, peace, perspective, & strength! He’s got you!

Coming Next Week

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Special Feature post, shared every last Thursday of the month!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more regularly scheduled encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Grace Earrings

These earrings feature gold plated metal around local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security,& unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchases, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs! This allows these women to realize their potential and pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Closing a Chapter

Well, this week closes out this series on intentionality with regards to growing your relationship with God & to finish it up, let’s talk about being intentional with how we love others.

The Bible mentions the need to love others again & again, which shows me how important this topic is to God. That is why I want to make sure we take some time to cover this in a little more detail.

Why?

People are all around us. Every person has a different story, full of their own personal life experiences, hurts, struggles, insecurities, & God-given gifts—some of which they may never share with you, even if you’re close to them.

Every person is also equally loved by God & equally offered His gift of redemption. Read my story of redemption & learn how to find your own, here.

Last week’s post (Read it, here), talked about Purposeful Fellowship, & the importance of being purposeful with how we spend time with & love our friends.

But this week, let’s go a little broader.

When We Feel Limited

As mentioned above, people matter to God & people are everywhere around us & people have secret hurts/insecurities/struggles that they may never share with anyone other than their closest friends.

Because of this, we need to make it a priority to spread love with whomever we come in contact.

It may seem a little out of our comfort zone to purposefully love others who don’t expressly make mention of their needs or ask directly for help, but here are some quick ways to begin training yourself to live love intentionally each day:

1. Pray about it—God knows your insecurities or hesitations in this area & He has unique ways to specifically help you to grow in this area, but it takes practice learning to set aside our apprehensions & get in the habit of asking Him for help versus avoiding the discomfort altogether. So, when you feel that hesitation, stop & ask Him for courage, opportunity, & inspiration on how to live love.
2. Take the “Love on Purpose Challenge”—Every day, choose one friend (or acquaintance) whom you possess their phone number, email, or other means of reaching them, & send them a quick message asking how they are & whether you can be praying for them in any specific way (& then pray for them!) We live in such a digital age, & it can be easy to feel invisible in the mass of social media buzz, so take time to single someone out & show them that you see them & love them.
3. SMILE!—Show your beautiful smile to the world! You never know when a quick moment of eye contact coupled with a polite smile can mean the world to someone who feels overwhelmed or alone in the world. So, smile away!
4. Love in the Little Things—Courtesy can go a long way in expressing care for another person’s well-being. Take the time to hold the door open just a little longer & smile as you pass it on. Rush to help someone pick up something dropped. Offer to get someone at your table a refill when you get up to get your own. Be courteous & be kind. It goes a long way to make this world a kinder place to live in!
5. Be the Welcome Party—If you have a new co-worker, a new neighbor, or see someone new at church, take time to go over & introduce yourself with a few quick questions to show attentiveness. Maybe even invite them to meet for lunch or invite them to an outing. It’s hard being new, so remember that as you show care & love to them. Try some of these questions:

• Are you new to the area? Where did you travel from?
• What brought you to the area?
• What hobbies or activities do you typically enjoy with your free time?
• Would you like to get coffee or join in for lunch afterwards? (Only with females—otherwise you might give the wrong impression of flirtation.)

There are so many ways that we can intentionally share love around us. Sometimes it can be hard to notice those ways when we are consumed by our own stressors & routine, but it is always worth it to spread some more hope & love out there to make the world a more pleasant place to live.

A Personal Story

I remember being in middle/high school & feeling so alone, especially during my freshman & sophomore years, as I was struggling with crippling depression.

No one knew.

Even my family was clueless. They knew something was wrong, but usually assumed it to be teenage rebellion, attitude, & hormones.

But for me, I was fighting each day to convince myself to hold onto life one more day. I was being suffocated & strangled by the torturously cruel thoughts (lies) that haunted & attacked me daily. It was like fighting for my life every day, & that got to be too difficult to even try. Read more about my struggle with depression & my road to hope, here.

You see, the world around me kept moving forward, but I felt like the kink in the wheel that was holding everyone back from being happy.

I felt like “the problem” because I couldn’t “fix myself.”

But no one knew that I was battling for my life every day, because I would smile on the outside & cry when alone in the dark.

It is Okay to Not Be Okay

It’s important to actively seek to love people around us because no one’s life is perfect, & others have lives that are far from perfect—suicidal thoughts, family abuse, etc.

And maybe that’s you. Maybe you’re the one fighting to survive each day.

Darling, you are beautiful & worth it.

And let me tell you something… IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY.

Don’t pressure yourself to fit the mold if you are struggling with a mental illness like depression, anxiety, etc.

Seek help through counseling & find friends who will love you AS IS & who will just will pray with you, without expecting you to “snap out of it.”

You are worth it.

God knows your struggle & He will NEVER waste your pain. So, give it to Him & ask for His consoling love & hope.

Make an Impact

But if that is not your situation, remember that others DO struggle secretly, even if in a much less severe & debilitating way. Everyone has times where stress overwhelms us or chaos rules the day. And everyone is worth a world of love because God loves them that much, too.

Be kind.

On purpose.

Love intentionally.

It’s a Pretty Big Deal

Pray about it. Pray when faced with an opportunity to love. Smile at others. Be courteous. And take time to show love in the little (or BIG) things.

We are called to walk in love as Christ also has loved us & given Himself for us.

That’s a big deal.

So, if it intimidates you or doesn’t come naturally to you, then pray about it & do it anyway. It will come easier to you the more you put it in practice, until you don’t even have to think about it anymore.

So just start somewhere & love intentionally.

Shine HOPE.

Coming Next Week

Now that I have spent a few weeks talking about the importance of intentionality in our walk with Christ, tune in next week as I introduce our next area of intentionality. 🙂

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Pearls of Hope Bracelet

Representing & Empowering Women in Thailand, India, & Guatemala!!

This multi-threaded bracelet is accented with freshwater pearls.

Artisan Information:

In remote areas of Thailand, we focus on restoring the strength of women in their country as artists. Your purchase empowers a diverse people, from the Karen Hill tribe, the Thai people, and the Hmong women. In this area, jobs are limited. Many women have to move to the city to find work and have to leave their children. Your purchase will help mothers stay in their hometown and earn an income, allowing them to take care of their children and watch them grow up!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Thailand!

(*Also pictured: Beloved Necklace (with artisan fingerprint) & Stardust Studs*)

(**Matching Pearls of Hope Necklace, also available.**)

(***The Love Bowl, featured in this post’s featured image, is also available & supports women in India!***)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!!

A Quick Reflection

It has been so neat seeing God grow even me as I begin this blogging journey.

I began this journey expecting to inspire & encourage others, but as is true in most cases, the more I apply myself to pray over & encourage others in these areas, the more I inevitably grow & learn along the way.