Getting It Mixed Up

This post is meant for Christians addressing sin in other Christians.

In our quest to honor God with our lives we can easily mix up 2 important things:  We either tend to take on God’s roles by trying to be His gatekeepers as His judges & rule-givers, OR, we just want to stay out of one another’s business completely.

Sometimes, we view “living for God” as us being responsible for determining who is “sincere enough” or “changed enough” to qualify as a true Christian.

Is that our job? Nope.

But we are also dropping the ball if we do nothing at all.

Finding the Balance

So where’s the balance? Short answer: Pray about it & ask for God’s guidance, wisdom, & discernment to help you make the right choices with the right words at the right time (or even to help you check your facts, in case you have misunderstood the situation–humility is KEY).

We are called to love one another & serve one another with humility & kindness, pointing others to hope in Christ Jesus alone.

But, as humanity tends to do, we like to let the pendulum swing from one direction to another—when one way isn’t working, we tend to do the exact opposite instead of realizing what we really need is a healthy balance of BOTH (just not to the extremes that we were using with just one or the other).

We Need to Speak Up… In LOVE

So, when we realize that we are not meant to be the gatekeepers or judges for God, it can be easy to do quite the opposite & just keep our mouths shut about God altogether & let others live however they want.

This is where I think the verse, “Speak the truth, in LOVE” calls us to do BOTH.

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” (Ephesians 4:14-15) (Emphasis mine)

Let Iron Sharpen Iron

It is for our benefit to let “iron sharpen iron” & we deny that benefit to those we love when we keep things to ourselves.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17) (Emphasis mine)

What to Avoid

We are NOT called to nag them & keep coming at them. Pray, speak to them in humility & love, step back & pray some more.

We are NOT called to shame or embarrass them. Come with humility, recognizing that you are just as prone to sin, with your own personal shortcomings. You are not any better than them, even if you don’t struggle in the same way that they do.

We are NOT called to talk about their sin to others, thus slandering them. While a sin problem is a real problem, it is NOT a justification for spreading their struggles with others. Talk to them & God & that’s IT. (*If you need help: Speak to someone known for discretion who can give you godly counsel, like a pastor or another ministry leader at your church.*)

We are NOT called to be their Holy Spirit to tell them how to change. You can share personal testimony of how God has helped you overcome, but ultimately, God is intimate & deals with us on a personal basis. (*Advise them to follow up your conversation with prayer, rather than trying to push that they change your way.)

Keep in Mind…

Keep in mind that being called out on our own mistakes, struggles, & sin can hurt. We feel raw & vulnerable. It’s embarrassing… & we can easily want to cover it for no one to see ever again…. Be patient, kind, gentle, understanding, & loving when confronting another Christian about their sin.

We are all in need of grace. None of us are any better than anybody else because we each have our own weaknesses. Talk to them with the same humility with which you would hope someone would come to you about your own struggles, mistakes, & sin.

Standing Up for Truth… In LOVE

We ARE called to pray first & then talk to them, but only if your heart is truly in the right place (not trying to one-up them or call them out as a power trip, but with humility & grace).

We ARE called to share the gospel, aka our need for a Savior because of our sin AND Jesus’ fulfillment of that need. Don’t be shy about sharing where our hope comes from.

We ARE called to be patient, kind, gentle, loving, understanding, & PRAYERFUL.

We’re All a Work in Progress

Have you ever met a “baby” Christian who still had some bad habits? Like maybe they still had some curse words in their vocabulary? That doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t saved—but may just be a sanctification issue, aka they’re a work in progress just like us.

But we ALSO shouldn’t approve of mistakes either, as if the action is totally fine. There’s a HUGE difference between excusing sin as okay & being gracious to the person through the process.

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” (Proverbs 27:6)

Don’t Get It Twisted!

I know some of you aren’t going to like this next statement, but the popular t-shirt & home décor quote of: “I’m a Christian, but I cuss a little,” seems to be a spit in God’s face, because while everyone is still growing & being made more in the likeness of Jesus Christ (or should be aiming for that direction), we shouldn’t put our approval on that which hasn’t been cleaned up yet.

Embrace the person in their growth, but don’t embrace their mistakes along the way.

A better phrasing would be, “I’m a Christian who does cuss a little, but God is still working on me,” or something that shows grace in the progress, but also a desire FOR progress.

A Hard Balance That Requires MUCH Prayer

This is for sure a hard balance to walk in life.

We don’t want the Gospel taken lightly or misrepresented, but we also don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Because of that, Satan can tend to tempt us into choosing one OR the other of, “Well, I need to make sure they are actually saved & get it right, so let me try to control the situation,” OR, “It’s not my business & I don’t want to hurt feelings, so I’ll just stay out of it completely.”

Instead, it needs to be approached with humility, grace, & love toward the other person… & saturated with MUCH prayer for God’s help & direction.

Embrace the Sinner, Not the Sin

Embrace the sinner, not the sin. LOVE the sinner, not the sin.

My friend & I like to jokingly call ourselves trash. We don’t call each other that, but ourselves, as a recognition that WE ALL NEED JESUS.

None of us is without room to grow in living a life that honors God & gives Him glory. We are ALL in need of further sanctification (aka being cleaned from the inside out to be more like Jesus Christ).

Understanding this allows us to approach the sin of others with graciousness, humility, & patience, knowing we are literally no better than they in God’s eyes, nor are they any less than us in God’s eyes.

But Knowing This…

But knowing this also spurns us, out of love & understanding, to want better for them… to see where they are missing out on God’s healing, strength, power, freedom, care, & love, & to do everything we can, in love, to help break them out of those chains to realize the MORE they can have in giving that over to God Almighty!

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Luke 6:41-42) (Emphasis mine)

That set of verses is NOT saying “Don’t speak up, because you have your OWN issues to deal with & theirs is not your business,” But rather, “Realize you are not better than them. Come with humility & graciousness & love, admitting to your own flaws & shortcomings.”

Step off from your soap box & join everyone else in admitting to your own flaws & mistakes. We may be trash, but we are incredibly loved by our great God JUST AS WE ARE. Jesus died for our trash BEFORE we got cleaned up. HE cleans us up!

What a gracious God we love to serve.

Speak Truth, In Love

So, stop the pendulum swing somewhere in the middle. Embrace the person, but confront the sin issue. If you do one without the other, you are not truly loving that person.

Truth without love is harshness & can push others away from the very Truth they need.

Love without truth is not really love at all, but a LIE.

What Is Love?

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy & can fathom all mysteries & all knowledge, & if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor & give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:1-7) (Emphasis mine)

This Is Important

Tell the truth, in love, & then turn the rest over to God. You are called to speak it, but not to force it.

If you tell & they don’t listen, that’s on them.

If you don’t tell, then you join their blame.

“When I [God] say to a wicked person, ‘You will surely die,’ & you do not warn them or speak out to dissuade them from their evil ways in order to save their life, that wicked person will die for their sin, & I will hold you accountable for their blood. But if you do warn the wicked person & they do not turn from their wickedness or from their evil ways, they will die for their sin; but you will have saved yourself.” (Ezekial 3:18-19)

Embrace the Sinner… Confront the Sin, IN LOVE

Embrace the sinner, not their sin. They are loved by God endlessly, dearly, & without condition… their SIN is their tormentor, liar, captor, punisher, & hollow enemy….

Embracing their sin is no love at all, for it keeps them bound & suffering.

Embrace THE PERSON & fight off their chains with prayers for God’s words, wisdom, courage, strength, & timing… & with Loving Truth.

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

Shine HOPE by sharing TRUTH in LOVE.

Coming Next Week

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Stargazer Set

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Artisan Information:

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