Playing Superhero

It’s easy for me to want to play superhero. I like feeling as if I have a pretty good handle on my life.

I like routine, with flexibility. The routine helps me feel grounded, but working in space for flexibility allows me to shift gears more easily, being able to tackle unknowns with a little less fluster & a little more calm.

I like control. When it all boils down, what I’m really saying is that I like control.

I am pretty sure I am not alone on this, either.

Balance Is Good, but Leave Room to Trust God FIRST

And for those who feel their schedule has NOT been ironed out yet, leaving them with a little more fluster & a little more flailing through each day… the reason we feel that way is lack of control. We want control. (Also, check out my “Managing Time, with God in Mind” post!)

It’s not that this is a bad thing to want. I am much more stable now that I have bowed my schedule woes to God & asked Him for an overhaul that allows more balance & peace in my schedule. I am much more productive that way.

But there’s a catch.

We cannot grow self-protective in our control over our schedule. We can’t RELY on our schedule & using that control as our source of confidence & peace. We can’t learn to rely on OURSELVES.

A Fresh Example Why Trusting Our Control Doesn’t Work As Well As It Seems

I have talked before about our journey of praying for a baby & how I handled it when God had not yet answered that prayer with a “yes.”

MEANWHILE, I was building a self-protection back-up plan in my heart of, “Well, if God DOESN’T give us a baby, here are all the reasons why that would probably be better ANYWAY.”

This is a natural thing for us to do because the unknown can sometimes be the scariest place to be. We want to think of how to fix the problem in a way that returns that control back to us.

BUT if we’re not careful, that new plan can REPLACE our trust in God, creating a NEW problem in & of itself.

For example, if I built up in my mind all of the ways that pregnancy & parenting would add stress, exhaustion, & hardship into my life, not to mention a more-strained bank account, how do you think I will likely react if God then were to answer us with the, “Yes, you will be parents!” answer we had been previously praying so hard for?

Trading Control for Surrender

My point is this, if our contentment/joy in our schedule, our plans, or our life is based on us having control, we will inevitably lose that façade of control & will be left vulnerable & hurting once again.

We need something MORE than our meager, unreliable means of control over our own lives to base our hope & security.

We NEED to trust GOD.

Surrendering Our Control for HIS Control

In my baby scenario, the healthiest way I could have managed that fear of His “NO” would be if I had turned to Him in the hurt & talked with Him through it, “God, I don’t understand Your “no” & it hurts! I want a baby & I don’t understand why Your plan would not include that for me. I have wanted this phase of life to become reality since I was a young girl, playing with my dolls, dreaming of someday being a Mommy to my own precious child. I want game nights & prayer times. I want to teach them about You. I want to love them SO MUCH. I don’t understand. It hurts. Please help me to trust Your plan in the midst of Your “no” right now. Help me to trust You more than I trust having a baby or not. You are the One who can offer me the most fulfillment, so please help me to see that & to grow in that understanding & love for You & trust in You. Amen.”

(To calm your possible aching hearts, I HAVE since turned my prayer time on this topic toward this direction & God HAS provided me with peace & assurance in Him, no matter the outcome. I can jump for joy with friends becoming new mamas & I can live my days in contentment & purpose, knowing God has my heart in His capable, loving hands, in His perfect & loving plan. Do I still have occasional days where my heart aches? Yes. But this is more the rarity than the norm. He has me & will continue to have me… & that’s a great & safe place for my heart to be, come what may. He’s got me.)

He Does a Much Better Job-It’s Worth It!

I like feeling capable just as much as the next girl. I like feeling in control & empowered.

But I am just a girl, knowing I have limitations & knowing my dear God who has none & who loves me infinitely more than I can express to you. (And He loves YOU just the same!)

While I crave control, I want to learn to ditch that addiction that I cling to so tightly. I want to learn to cling to Him.

Because all can change. All can fade away. I can lose it all.

But His hope remains.

His power remains.

His love remains.

His GRACE remains.

Control & Surrender-The Life-Changing Difference

I want to train my heart to pry away my white-knuckled fingers from controlling my life & circumstances & I want to ever-learn how to rest back into His capable arms, asking Him to lead my day, my steps, my words, my LIFE.

There is so much life-changing beauty in learning & living the difference between control & surrender. One leaves us reliant on our own limitations & the other frees us to trust THE God who has none.

Because THAT, my friend, is where TRUE joy & contentment can flourish… & where we can finally learn what He meant when He said, “I have come that they may have LIFE, & have it more ABUNDANTLY.” (John 10:10)

Shine HOPE by letting Him have the reins of your life & by putting your full hope in Him, no matter what life may bring.

Trust Him FIRST, last, & everywhere in between. ALWAYS.

He’s GOT you, Girl.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Ramala Bracelet Set

(Only 1 of 2 Bracelets shown in photo.)

A set of 2, these bracelets are silver, adjustable, & 1 (shown) features real moonstone, with varying hues of lilac, blue, & purple.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The Diversity of Doubts

Doubts are a funny thing. They can permeate almost every aspect of our lives, whether we recognize them or not.

Sometimes they are so subtle that we don’t realize we have them, but they influence how we live our daily lives.

Sometimes they are so obtrusive that we can’t seem to see anything BUT those doubts, haunting us like a storm that follows our every move.

No matter what doubt it is, it is, I would argue, always rooted in a misunderstanding about who God is.

The Most Harmful Misunderstanding

If you think about it, so much of what we struggle with in our lives is centered around a misunderstanding about who God is, whether it be an anxiety or a trauma or anything in between.

Either we are not positive God can fix it (or at least not the way we would prefer it to be fixed) or we wonder if God cares enough to fix it even if we believe He CAN.

This misunderstanding can manifest on our auto-pilot life, doing the best we can the way we understand it should be (also see, “doing what is right in our own eyes.”) … or in us feeling paralyzed because we feel like what we want to believe about God may not be the way we always envisioned it to be.

Doubts in the Christian Life

So, today, I want to tackle a few specific doubts I had once I made the decision to trust God after my ocean of doubts-some of which I covered in Part 1.

A couple weeks ago started us off with “I’m Not Very Good at Reading the Bible,” so let’s go into a few more.

6. Doing What Seems Right in Our Own Eyes

The biggest one that is so easily missed, because of its subtlety, is “doing what is right in [our] own eyes.” (You can do a quick internet search to find some passages about this in the Bible.)

A lot of us are taught, even if just by example, the daily routines, habits, & flow of life as we see best. We don’t see it as doubting God, but we also don’t really stop to consider that He would have a different plan in mind than what we always grew up believing it should look like.

This is a doubt about God that can exist, in one form or another, throughout our entire lives, because it is so subtle that it doesn’t seem like a doubt in God at all, but just merely “the way life is.”

It Permeates So Many Areas of Life

I have talked about this topic many times throughout my blogging journey because I find it permeating my own ideals & habits all the time. I am not trying to do things “my way,” because to me it just feels it’s the only way I know.

We need to take a perspective shift with this one to realize that God’s plans are higher than our plans & extend through the span of eternity & not just the up-to-100+ years we are looking at.

The only way to accomplish a different mindset than “doing what is right in our own eyes,” since that is our automatic route, is to consider & turn to God in all things—spend time reading the Bible consistently, talk to Him regularly, & constantly ask God to show you where you might need to hand more over to Him or adjust for His plan versus your own.

Blessed Are the Meek!

It goes back to our Matthew 5 journey recently in meekness, taking our “strength” & “power” & offering our perceived control over to His perfect strength, wisdom, power, & plan.

Only in making those things of Bible reading, talking to God regularly, & turning more of your life over to Him a regular habit will we begin to see the areas where we are living according to what is “right in our own eyes” & begin to hand those over for God’s better way & better plan.

7. Is God a False-Hope?

The second Christian-life doubt I wrestled with for a long time was that Satan tried to lie & convince me that life was no better in trusting God over myself & that trusting God was a false-hope.

Let me reiterate that as a LIE from Satan & is not based in reality AT ALL.

You see, when I was relying on myself versus God, drowning in my doubts of God & trying to go it alone, I felt lost & alone & hopeless & scared—ALL THE TIME, with BRIEF pockets of relief.

BUT, when I finally turned those reins over to God, asking HIM to be in control, I felt steady & sure & stable, because I was trusting a sure thing, versus my flimsy self.

Hard Times Still Come, But It Is God Who Carries Us Through

Did hard times still come? Heck yes! And they still do! But now, even in my aching heart, even when things aren’t “magically fixed” like I wish them to be, I STILL HAVE a sure hope to count in, that God has a plan & WILL carry me through as I lean into Him.

What was once ALWAYS dark & scary & unsure, with brief moments of relief, became temporary pockets of dark, scary, unsure moments UNTIL I slump at His “feet” & ask Him to carry me through & be my strength in the hurts.

He is my hope, even when the world feels hopeless.

We will feel faithless at our worst, & Satan will try to riddle us with guilt & shame for it, but God is there to remind us that His faithfulness is not dependent on ours… & that all we need to do is cry out to Him & He will be there, ALWAYS, to carry us through our worst days.

8. Are We Supposed to Prove Our Faith by Living It Well on Our Own?

The last Christian Life doubt I want to talk about today ties in with the first one we covered earlier in this post, “doing what seems right in our own eyes.”

Not only in how we live should we be turning over the reins to God, like we talked about, but also in HOW WE SERVE GOD.

This means reading our Bible, talking to God about everything, & living for Him by serving & loving others.

But it also means trusting GOD to HELP us read our Bibles, talk to Him about everything, & live for Him in serving & loving others.

We don’t have to do those things in our own strength or willpower.

When We Know We Should But Don’t Want to or Feel We Can’t… God Can Help

We can submit our lack of willingness, pride, bad attitude, stubbornness, laziness, boredom, distractions, busyness, ailments, & EVERYTHING ELSE that keeps us from submitting to a healthy growth toward God, TO God.

We can open up & be real with Him about it, even if it’s our own lack of desire to do it or bad attitude or pride—He ALREADY KNOWS. So, open up to Him about it, get real with Him, confess it to Him, & ASK FOR HIS HELP WITH IT.

Sometimes Faithfulness Is Trusting in & Asking for His Help… Even in the Misplaced Desires or Lack There Of

I cannot tell you how many times I have to ask for His help with all the reasons I mentioned above. ALL. OF. THEM. Regularly.

I may know it’s good for me… Consistency in the last few years may have been blessing my life beyond what I imagined it could, BUT I STILL STRUGGLE & have to ask for His help sometimes.

Especially with prayer lately. I can inner dialog all day long to work out a solution without once considering, “Oh yeah, God…. Um, can You help me?” It’s embarrassing, but true!

So, Please, Please, PLEASE stop trying to live for Him on your own willpower steam & start submitting all of your obstacles to HIM for help, even if those obstacles are YOU & your unwillingness or lack of desire to follow through with it.

Quick Recap of Covered Doubts

Let’s recap the doubts we have covered so far, in the past 3 posts about doubts:

1. Jesus is THE way & there is NO OTHER way… & that is a good thing because He is saying we can’t save ourselves, but He has saved US, if we just accept His gracious gift of forgiveness.
2. God IS real—we can see Him in the specific order AND vast variety of creation… & in how He interacts with us PERSONALLY the more we submit to know Him more.
3. You’re NEVER “unsavable” because again, it’s not based on what you can do, but on what Jesus has done FOR YOU.
4. We pray because He CAN hear us & we know He can hear us because He interacts with us on a personal level as we grow to know Him more & is big enough to answer our God-honoring desires & still work His plan.
5. Reading your Bible consistently IS nourishment to you, it will change how you see & trust God, AND it is possible by asking for God’s help with it.
6. Doing it HIS way is always best, & even in the small, subtle ways, we should be asking for God’s guidance & wisdom to guide our steps along the way.
7. Pain & struggle does not mean God is not our perfect anchor, nor does it mean we lack “enough” faith, but is a call to fall in His arms recognizing His power & strength in light of our weakness & frailty.
8. Abiding in God & living for God is not meant to be done by sheer willpower, but by asking for God’s help & wisdom & strength & a change in our hearts every step of the way. Not perfection, but growth.

Next week, I plan to talk about fears & pain & struggle in light of our doubts about God, so make sure to come back for that.

Shine HOPE by looking to Him in all things great & small.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. Flash-plated posts.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!