Not Everyone Feels Jolly & That Is Okay

As Christmas fast approaches, I am reminded of those who are dreading this time of year… Not because they hate Christmas, but because they hate doing Christmas without a person whom they have lost or because they have to do Christmas alone or away from family this year.

The holidays put so much pressure on us to be with family & loved ones… & when that cannot happen for one reason or another, it can be so painful to bear.

God sees you, too. Even in the heartache that seems too thick to swallow, He sees you.

Your Heartache Matters to God

I want to take this week to speak to those of you who are feeling that dense, hard-to-swallow pain this time of year, because I know that your heartache matters to God.

It’s important to point out that God does not expect us to never be sad or hurt. We don’t have to stuff down our pain & pretend it doesn’t exist. God doesn’t shame us in our heartbreak.

If anyone doubts this, they only have to read Ecclesiastes to see despair spilled over its pages.

Finding Hope in the Darkness

Life can be hard, there is no denying that.

But in finishing up the book of Ecclesiastes, in all of the author’s woes of despair & meaninglessness, he ends the book by prompting us to follow & obey God—the way of life that brings meaning to the hurt.

Life may not always be pretty or comfortable or easy or full of laughter, but we can be guaranteed that God is with us through it all. He is our enough in the midst of the heartache.

Cling. Cry Out. He Is Listening.

Cling to Him. Cry out to Him. Pour out your heart to His listening ears. God can handle your pain.

Ask for Him to be your comfort & strength & hope in the midst of your deep pain.

Because while we are not promised a life of comfort & ease, we are promised that He is enough to carry us through the fires & storms & aches of life.

Your source of hope in the midst of the tears will always be Him.

Let Him…

He cares for you. He sees you. He is able. He is enough.

Let Him fill where you feel void & empty.

Let His love be a balm on your weary heart.

Let His strength help you rise above the brambles.

Let His power carry your broken heart.

Let His comfort ease your burdens.

His Words, Not Mine

(Emphasis in the following verses is mine.)

“But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

“He heals the brokenhearted & binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

“He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:2)

“Come to Me, all who labor & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

“God is our refuge & strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13)

“Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3)

“Come to me, all who labor & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, & learn from Me, for I am gentle & lowly in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, & My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

“I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice & my pleas for mercy. Because He inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live.” (Psalm 116:1-2)

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin & death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh & for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:1-6)

Shine Hope by Leaning into Him

It doesn’t have to look pretty. You don’t have to get yourself together first. Come to Him in the mess. Pour out your sorrows to Him because He cares for you. He is listening & He sees you.

You are not alone, for He is with you always, even to the end of the age.

Come to Jesus & find Life, even in the midst of your great sorrows.

He sees you & He loves you more than words could ever express. <3

Merry Christmas.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Only What I Want to Hear

How often do we pray, only listening for the answer we want to hear?

I have found that sometimes in my prayers, I feel as if God is not hearing or answering me because it is not the way I want Him to answer me.

For example, when I was so lonely & I was struggling so much in Hokkaido, Japan, my prayers basically revolved around my idea of making the struggle end.

When my struggling did not end, a root of bitterness started taking root against God.

Not to Make Everything Easy, But to Be Enough in the Hard

But, God does not promise that we will never have struggles or hardships.

He DOES, however, promise to be our “ENOUGH” in the midst of those struggles & hardships.

For Our Good

On top of that, those struggles & hardships are actually meant for our good, believe it or not. Sort of like when Joseph went through all of his trials (& there was a lifetime of them!), his response to his cruel & jealous brothers was, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many peopleshould be kept alive, as they are today.”

God uses the HARD times in our life to bring about GOOD purposes.

Front Row Seats

For one, hardships strengthen us & teach us confident perseverance.

They also strengthen our faith, because when we are weakened & thus clinging to God more fiercely, we are given wonderful opportunities to see Him work wonders that we were not able to accomplish on our own. It puts Him on center stage & oftentimes gives us front row seats to watch Him work!

He doesn’t hurt you, but He uses the hurt caused by sin & a broken world (broken because of the sin), to strengthen you in so many ways!

Lean into Him

So, when I am faced with those hardships, instead of looking for my hope in the ABSENCE of those hardships & praying as such, I (we) SHOULD learn to pray for God’s help in the midst of those storms.

We can pray for His wisdom, strength, peace, hope, comfort, guidance, etc.!

*Plugging Ears*

BUT sometimes we don’t want to even hear the answer He gives, when we do choose to seek His wisdom & guidance, in which stems another stunt to answered prayers.

A Bible example of this sort of harmful mindset is found in Zechariah 7, where the people inquired of God, & when His response came, with:

“Administer true justice; show mercy & compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other….”

The people “… refused to pay attention; stubbornly they turned their backs & covered their ears. They made their hearts as hard as flint & would not listen to the law or to the words that the Lord Almighty had sent by His Spirit through the earlier prophets.”

In other words, they only wanted an answer if it made them look or feel good.

Looking Good & Feeling Good About Ourselves Versus Bringing God Glory

Before this situation took place, they were asking God if they should continue fasting at particular times as they had been told to do & as they had been doing for many years & God called them out on it, telling them they had turned those things into prideful acts, versus acts of humble surrender. They did it to look & feel good, not to honor God.

Are our prayers centered around making us look good &/or feel good about ourselves?

Or are they centered on laying down our way for His, through the strength & peace He provides? Are they centered on giving God center stage in our life?

What’s Our Focus?

We need to be mindful of how we pray.

Pray first to draw your strength, wisdom, guidance, peace, joy, hope, etc. from Him in times of struggle, & also for it to bring Him glory & draw you & others closer to Him in the process.

And also, pray willing to trustingly obey the answer He gives. Trust Him enough to know that He means it for your good & lean into Him through prayer & acting on His words to you.

You can even ask for His help in doing what you know He is calling you to do.

Trust & Obey

Whether it be bringing a meal to a family, supporting an orphan or widow, or doing anything out of your comfort zone, ask God for help as you obey.

Ask Him for courage. Ask Him for peace. Ask Him for strength. Ask Him for a willing heart. Ask Him to help you trust Him.

Because when we ask for His help, we should understand that if ANYONE knows the best way to handle a struggle or situation, it is Him… so trust Him enough to listen & follow through with HIS answer, over looking only for your way.

Shine HOPE by trusting God enough to listen & to follow His way, in your prayers.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Onyx Necklace

Modern hammered brass necklace features 3 genuine onyx drops.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write and grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children and send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty and create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

It’s so easy
To see this world
As dark & dreary…
A lost & broken world

So much hurt
and so much heartache
A mere shadow…
Of all that was meant to be

But there’s hope
In the darkness
When we cling
To the Light

Walking hand in hand (with Christ)
In peace & love
Trusting Him as God
And us as His beloved

He longs… for our hearts
He wants us to know His love
He longs to offer us
A life that was always meant for us

Not in getting our own way
But in yielding to His
Not in owning the whole world
But enjoying His creation

Because there’s hope
In the darkness
When we cling
To the Light

Hand in hand
As we let Him lead us
Bowing down our hearts
To His great, enduring love

There is freedom in surrender
Letting Him wash us clean
Restoring in forgiveness
To a Hope found just in Him

So, don’t spend your life wasted
Pushing back against His love
But surrender in safety
To His sorrow-quenching love

Because there’s hope
In the darkness
As we cling
To the Light

Hand in hand
We love & trust Him
Letting Him to be the King
Over our created life

So, obey in trust
And let Him lead
As His love washes
Over everything

And the mystery of surrender
Is that when we finally yield
We find that we find salvation
And that then we’re finally free

Because there’s hope
In the darkness
When we cling
To the Light

So, cling to the Light of Christ
Surrender it all to His love
And find your restoration
To peace & hope in Him for all eternity long.

Coming Next Week

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Special Feature post, featured every last Thursday of the month!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Worthy Necklace

Beautifully delicate in design, this rose gold plated chain displays a light pink rose quartz stone. Crafted in India.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, and receive education and healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Almost the End to a New Beginning

Well, we are one “Pivot” moment away from finishing this series! That’s so hard to believe after these (including this one) 14 “Pivots” that we have walked through together.

A Different Sort of Autobiography

It has always been a dream of mine to write an “autobiography”, not of what amazing things I have accomplished or done, but what God has worked in my life that I never saw as possible from my human perspective.

Being given the opportunity to share all of these moments with you has been a pleasure, especially the reminders, even for myself, of all that God has done & is capable of doing in our lives as we lean into Him.

Maybe someday I will better edit all of these “Pivot” stories into that autobiography of sorts. I guess we will see where God leads!

Trouble in Paradise

But, for today, we are talking about a touchy (& freeing) topic.

It’s touchy because a lot of hurt often surrounds this topic, but it’s freeing knowing the right perspective of leaning into God above all else, whether things work out or not.

“Trouble in Paradise”, as I have titled it, is a story of God doing what I felt was the impossible… bridging the gap in marital (or relational) trouble.

In It Together

You see, after God had led every step of our dating relationship as we leaned into Him consistently for direction & answers (read more, here), we felt like our bond was unbreakable.

We were bound together by trust in Him & a friendship built on Him.

Nothing could shake us.

We had aired all of our “dirty laundry” by sharing our deepest shames & hurts & mistakes… but we were forgiven.

We had shared all of our quirks… but we were accepted.

We had faced hurt & struggle… but had prayed through it all… together.

After the “Happily Ever After”

But then we moved to Guam… 3 months after we were married.

And things weren’t as great anymore.

We started out strong, but between the stress of adjustment to life on the other side of the globe & Jamie working 12 hour shifts several days a week (& usually taking on extra shifts for co-workers), let’s just say that it began to take its toll on us.

I felt neglected. He felt over-worked & stretched thin.

I felt bored & restless. He felt exhausted & ready to crash.

I felt alone & in need of company. He felt over-stimulated & in need of alone time.

We felt placed on opposite ends of every spectrum, unable to bridge the divides that seemed to be getting wider every month.

Beginning to Feel the Strain… Pull Us Apart

Fights became easier. Disagreements & misunderstandings were more common. Emotions were high & needs were left unmet on both sides.

We were strained & frustrated & tired.

My needs became a burden on us both—not because he didn’t think they or I were important, but because after work, he had nothing left to give.

Personal Perceptions Are Often Deceptive

But I felt like he must think me & my needs unimportant because they were SO important to me & yet he still didn’t meet them.

And he felt like I was putting too much pressure on him because he was already exhausted from work every day.

We were disconnected & hurt.

We argued & fought & stormed off & shut doors more forcefully than necessary.

We hurt.

I found myself often crying alone, curled up on the floor of our bathroom, with the lights out.

What I Wanted

I had heard that marriage was hard, but I felt like I had lost my very best friend, just by getting married to him.

I wanted to leave him & go back to America & be with my family & friends.

I wanted the hurt to stop.

I was learning very clearly in that time the truth that our spouse is not meant to fulfill our needs.

Only God can do that.

It’s Not Like the Movies… But It’s So Much Better

But culture sings a different tune, one where our spouse, who probably wishes they actually could, can fulfill all of your dreams & make you the happiest person imaginable.

And we probably still want to do that, but realistically, we don’t have the power to do that.

We have our own fears, hurts, insecurities, weaknesses, trauma, shortcomings, failures, etc. & when you join two imperfect people, you’re obviously going to have an imperfect marriage.

So Much Freedom in Removing That Expectation!

And oh the burden we are freed from when we realize that being our spouse’s EVERYTHING is not our purpose or even in our ability.

And oh the freedom it GIVES our spouse to release them from that supposed expectation.

Then, How?

So how did we do it? How are we good friends & happily married after the battle wounds we received in that painful couple years?

Prayer.

That’s right… prayer.

But, I Didn’t Start There

But, like I said, I first resorted to balling up in figurative tears (Fun Fact: I can’t cry actual tears) & wanting to quit it all & run from the hurt.

I resorted to wanting to bail & start over at home with my family. I wanted to give up because I felt so unloved.

But Jamie still loved me terribly, & through the deep ache, I loved him just as much… so why weren’t we able to express that to each other?

My Ache Turned Into My Prayer

At the end of one of our arguments, I was laying in bed, with my back turned to Jamie… silently sobbing into the edge of my pillow, begging God for help & pouring out my heart to Him like I had done countless times before on the floor of our bathroom.

“God, why is this happening! Why do I feel like Jamie & I are so far apart?! How did we get here!? I miss him so much & I HATE that we’re always at odds with each other… but I feel like no matter what, we’re never on the same page… like he doesn’t ever care about me! I feel so alone & betrayed. I thought he loved me but he gets mad or frustrated when I even want to spend time with him & he just plays video games alone in his spare time, with his headphones on, like I am just a home accessory!! He used to make me feel like his whole world & now he barely even talks to me. I hate my life here. I hate what this job has taken from me… from us. I want him back but that seems impossible now. Too many things we can’t take back & too many misunderstandings & disagreements. I don’t even feel like I know him anymore… Like I have been tricked. Did he never really love me? How can he act so callously toward me? Help us. Show us the way back to each other. PLEASE. Help us. Help me. I don’t know how to get back to him anymore & I miss him so much. Please show me what to do.”

God’s Response… God’s Solution… Trust HIM

… “Ask him to pray with you.”

That was the simple thought the washed over my mind like a gentle breeze.

“Ask him to pray with you.”

But I didn’t want to.

Did Jamie even care? Did he even want us back? If he cared, he would have tried already. (So many insecurities rushed over my heart.)

“Ask Him to pray with you.”

FINE. But I don’t want to.

And When I Obeyed God’s Guiding, God Healed

“Jamie, we should pray.”

“Ok.”

And so he prayed a prayer that shocked & shook me & expressed all the love for me that I was afraid wasn’t there.

To paraphrase his prayer:

“God, I don’t know what to do. We can’t seem to get along. I love Michelle, but I am too tired. I am stretched thin at work & I just don’t have the energy to be what she needs me to be. It hurts that I don’t feel like I can help her & it’s frustrating. Help me know what to do. Please help her hurt. Amen.”

And then I prayed my hurt out loud, too.

And we both cried & we hugged each other & just clung on.

God Knew How

It ended up that we genuinely both wanted a solution but neither of us new how to make it happen, were doing the best we knew how, & had different expectations on what that should look like.

And when we started both turning to God, instead of ourselves or each other, as the solution, God started to shape us & guide us along a path to help us both care for each other.

We became more understanding of each other’s needs, while not trying to meet them in our own wisdom or understanding, but by God’s.

We began letting go of the expectations we had placed on the other person to meet our needs & started leaning into God instead.

And we began to heal.

Start Looking to God for the Answers

God was the glue that took our efforts & our understanding & all of our other limitations & acted as our bridge to cover the great divide for us.

We stopped looking inward to fulfill each other.

We stopped looking to each other to fulfill ourselves.

And we started looking to God, together.

He is our glue. He is our bridge. He is our wisdom & solution. He is our strength.

A Work in Progress, Led by Grace

Do we still have disagreements & misunderstandings & occasional bad attitudes that we really shouldn’t be taking out on each other but it’s far too easy to do? Yes.

But we know the way back now. PRAYER. Leaning into GOD.

And we’re learning to turn to God BEFORE it gets bad, knowing we will reach the end of our limitations far sooner.

We’re human & we mess up. We are learning, but we don’t always get it right.

But God is the solution to that, too… because He will never stop working on our hearts. He is always ready to give grace as we grow toward Him.

He is a Good, Good Father.

Shine Hope, by letting God be your glue… & your bridge… to healing.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side & off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Not Cut & Paste

Today’s topic (& pretty much every week’s topic) is not meant to show you a cut & paste way to handle a situation. It is meant to show you how God guides us if we are striving to honor Him above our own feelings, fears, or desires… if we are obeying His way over our own.

Going Back Home

Nine years ago, right after I had graduated from Liberty University (how has it already been NINE years?!), I went back to live with my parents in Northern Virginia.

My parents had just paid my way through Liberty, upon the agreement that I kept my grades up (I graduated top twenty percent of the School of Business!) &, what was later told to me, they would not be helping to pay for any wedding that could potentially happen (I didn’t know this then, as I had no relationship to consider at the time).

Debt

BUT, I still had loads of debt… to them.

How? Because my parents had HELPED me pay health insurance & car insurance for those three years, on the agreement that I would eventually reimburse them once I got a full-time job.

So, a couple hundred dollars a month, for three years, minus some I had managed to pay along the way, left me with a hefty sum of debt.

AND, to help me out, my parents were graciously allowing me to move back home after graduation, at age 26. (If you missed last week’s post, I waited to go back to college.)

My “Buffer” Account

I did have a savings account, that served as a (gradually depleting) buffer that allowed me to still fill up my gas tank & be available for lunches with friends (or as an emergency fund in case I had to have work on my car or other such unexpected expense).

Trying to Re-Write My Reputation

Whether intentionally or unintentionally, the pressure was laid on pretty thick, by my parents, to pay them back quickly by getting a full-time job.

I had been a difficult teenager, one who was always trying to get out of extra work, so I can understand their feelings of mistrust & urgency for me to prove myself responsible & willing to pay them back without endless delay.

But God had been working in me. I had been allowing God to grow me & weed out some of my bad habits & bad attitudes, & I had no desire to string my parents along.

I wanted to please them & make them proud.

I wanted to be a responsible adult & I was eager to start work & change the world (that’s how I felt, anyway).

But bad reputations have a nasty way of sticking around, even after God has changed your heart & attitude.

Can anyone relate?

A Changed Woman

Anyway, eager to prove myself a changed woman & a responsible adult, I looked for a job.

But I was looking for a career, not a dead-end job.

I was eager to work with an outreach program or youth ministry for a church. I was ready to change lives & impact people with the hope I was learning more about each year.

I definitely also looked for jobs I didn’t care about as much, though, because I was so eager to pave the path for a new reputation. I wanted to pay off my debt quickly & ease the minds of my parents, by removing the financial burden of my debt to them.

But God had other plans.

He wanted to show me more about trusting in Him, even when the pressure is thick.

A Word from God

In reading my Bible, I came across this nagging little truth (at least, it nagged at me because the conviction hit me hard. I was NOT ready to hear these words!):

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
    when it is in your power to act.
Do not say to your neighbor,
    “Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”—
    when you already have it with you.” (Proverbs 3:27-28)

You see, in keeping my little “buffer” savings account, while still owing a ton of money to my parents, God convicted my heart that I was essentially saying, “Come back tomorrow & I will give it to you”, when I already had it with me.

… AKA the exact thing God warns us NOT to do, in these verses.

A Chance to Obey

A choice had to be made in that moment.

Would I trust & obey God’s way of handling my situation? (AKA give my parents my savings account) … or was I going to hold on to fear & the comfort of being able to maintain the kind of life I was comfortable with, while waiting to repay them?

Too many times had I seen how things went way worse than I expected when doing them MY way, only to HAVE to try God’s way in the end & see it work out much better…

SO, I took out every penny of my savings account, (thus erasing any chance for impromptu dinners, lunches, coffee dates, movies, adventures with friends) & gave it directly to my parents, as a way to show them, THROUGH ACTION & not just words, that my dedication to repay them was sincere.

What Now?

And then, penniless, with just the full tank of gas that I had, I said “goodbye” to most of my social life.

(Adulthood was no longer seeming so appealing, haha.)

And… I prayed… A LOT.

I prayed for direction & peace & for my parents to see they could trust me… I prayed for a chance to move out & pay off debt & to GET A JOB.

I felt so untethered from the comforts I had always relied on & that led me to pray more than usual. I couldn’t just coast through this debt repayment anymore. I needed to make money to even just refill my gas tank next time!

So, I started (more) actively searching for a job… searching for ANY work to get me through to my next tank of gas (& those pesky bills) … babysitting, house-cleaning, mowing lawns, house-sitting, & whatever other oddball jobs I could manage to get.

Just Enough… Was Enough

Here is where I began to see that as I trust God (although, my human perspective still worried that I would miss bills & fail miserably) & lean fully into Him… He doesn’t leave us hanging.

While working my odd jobs, while also searching for a full-time job, I was earning just enough to scrape by.

I still gave ten percent of everything I earned as a tithe to God, through supporting my church.

Tithing When Barely Making It

Let me tell you, when you don’t even have money to ever go out to lunch with a friend because you are earning JUST enough to pay your current bills, fill up the gas tank, & pay the remainder to your parents for your debt, ten percent seems like SO MUCH MONEY!

But, again, I had seen how God has a purpose in every command He gives us & He promises to provide as we obey… SO, I trusted & obeyed, while giving ten percent of the precious little I had to the church.

And I am not telling you that to brag or to seem super righteous, but because God really does keep His promises to take care of our needs as we live in obedience & trust to His Word (the Bible).

Nothing Was Working the Way I Hoped, And Yet…

Listen to this… this is where it really got cool ….

Every full-time job opportunity fell through.

Every full-time job that seemed like a good potential, I felt a heavy wall block me from accepting it, as if God was saying, “nuh-uh… NO.” Even when I prayed for days afterward, hoping I could feel peace that never came.

I felt SO MUCH pressure from my parents’ even mild frustration (I am a people pleaser at heart) & I wanted SO BADLY to prove I meant it when I told them I wanted to get a job & pay them back & honor them in that way.

But ALL I HAD were oddball jobs.

I know, I know… These all seem like the opposite of “cool”….

Every Bill Paid ON TIME!

But, GUESS WHAT.

Every time a bill was coming dangerously close to being past-due, I would receive an unexpected call from either a friend of the family, a co-worker of my mom, or a friend of a friend who would somehow think to call me, & they would offer me another oddball job for some amount of time with some amount of money that they would offer….

AND Every single time, it would get paid to me DIRECTLY before my bill was past-due & be MORE than my bill was worth… enough to fill up my next tank of gas & chip off another tiny chunk of my debt (& still tithe).

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

HE Doesn’t Have Our Limitations

Girl, I want you to see that we serve a BIG God.

He is not bound by the limitations that we are bound by.

If we walk in trusting obedience to Him, He ALWAYS follows through & takes care of us.

Am I saying, “don’t take the job”? NO.

Am I saying to do it exactly how I did? NO.

I AM saying that, again, as we walk in trusting obedience to God’s Word & God’s leading on our hearts, He WILL be faithful to take care of our needs.

It may not always be comfortable (in fact, oftentimes it’s UNCOMFORTABLE, because it goes against our own understanding) or look the way we think it should or like we want it to, but we will see in those moments, that despite all that, God really did know BEST.

Oh, And One More Thing… Or Maybe Two

So, I urge you. I beg you. I challenge you, even… to trust Him.

Because He always knows what He’s doing, even when we are clueless.

And do you want to know the real kicker that gets me every time with this story?

Guess what, with those oddball jobs, over ONE Summer, I paid off my debt IN FULL.

Did I get to go to King’s Dominion with friends? No.

Did I get to go out for impromptu coffee or lunch dates with friends? No.

Was it comfortable never knowing if I could pay my next bill? No.

But, to see God work in the ways that He did AND allow me to pay off ALL OF IT during those oddball jobs… was the best Summer EVER.

*** Oh, & by the way… AFTER I paid off my debt to my parents, I got a job working for a small church in Alexandria, Virginia… where I met my husband. ***

God Always Knows

God ALWAYS knows what He’s doing, even when we’re just taking one step at a time & trusting Him with every part that we don’t understand. He always knows.

Shine hope, by trusting God first, last, & always.

Trust & obey & let Him lead by leaning into Him.

He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain, this piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

*Also pictured: Northern Lights Studs, also from India!*

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Satan Is Limited… God is NOT

With a single thought, God made everything still.

I am about to share with you a story that I don’t often tell.

There is a danger in talking about the power of Satan, because it can scare people into believing he must be feared.

While it’s true that Satan is far more powerful than we are & has much more influence in this world than we like to give him credit for, he is not the Ultimate, All-Powerful, Sovereign, Supreme Ruler God.

Satan is limited.

And so are we.

But GOD is NOT.

The Happy Ending

I started this post with the spoiler alert ending to this story—“With a single thought, God made everything still,” as a reminder that no matter what you are about to read, God is SUPREME & if He says “Stop”, nothing (absolutely NOTHING) can overcome His will & power.

he Wasn’t Happy

Last week’s blog post, “Pivot, Pivot! #4-The Great Purge-Learning to Trust God in the Hurts,” set the stage for this week, where I shared my story about purging the thoughts & physical items that I clung to instead of God, blocking me from going “all in” with my trust in God over myself.

You can imagine that for one who wants to pick us off, manipulate us, throw accusations at us, & keep us as far away from God & truth & hope as possible, Satan was anything but pleased to see me make that sort of life statement of going “all in” for God.

Search Me, O God

I remember that during the event where I literally burned my CD collection which I had been clinging to white-knuckled instead of trusting God, I had written only a single phrase/verse in my journal during that time.

I was following along through the worksheet I mentioned last week, but as for my personal journal, only Psalm 139:23-24 made it onto the blank pages:

“Search me, O God, &know my heart: test me, & know my thoughts:

 And see if there be any wicked way in me, & lead me in the way everlasting.”

Weeding Out the Obstacles

You see, my heart cry was to no longer rely on myself &/or external things, but to give up my life to trust in the God eternal, the Redeemer of my life, Love everlasting.

The above two verses summed up how my heart was yearning. I wanted to weed out anything that was holding me back from total trust.

Wait…! What Was That…?

As a quick backstory, I had a history of paranoia.

I had chronic nightmares, was afraid of the dark as an adult, & was even afraid to pray out loud in case Satan could know my plans & then ruin them.

In other words, I was putting Satan higher than God in that I feared him more than I trusted God.

It was another roadblock I didn’t even know could change.

Trust God First

God knew that needed to learn to trust God more than I feared Satan. He knew He needed to squash Satan’s power of fear that he was holding over me, so that I could see God as the One True God.

But I didn’t know that was coming.

I wrote that verse in my journal & my eyes burned with tears of longing to give God my everything, no longer tossed to & fro by the troubles & lures of the world, but anchored in a sure foundation of hope.

Know That God Has the Final Word–Not Satan

And when I fell asleep that night, the scariest thing in the world happened to me.

And I am grateful for every second of it, because, “With a single thought, God made everything still.”

The point of sharing this upcoming story is to reveal to you that no matter how much more powerful Satan is than us, GOD IS INFINITELY MORE POWERFUL.

And before I began writing about this topic, I prayed how to share this story with you, not wanting to perpetuate that fear that once controlled me… & God whispered over my heart, “If you don’t want to scare them into submission to the Liar, start with the ending. Show the hope first.”

“With a single thought, God made everything still.”

The Fear Before the Victory

I was sleeping soundly, as far as I can remember, when I awoke with a start, to the darkness of night enveloping my room.

I tried to roll over, but all limbs seemed pinned in place.

That’s when I saw a hovering cloud of darkness by the side of my bed.

And I heard a voice in my head. A voice that was not my own.

“You think you can get away? Hahaha. I am in control now!”

Can’t Run Away, But God’s Got Me Still

I thought I must be imagining it, so I tried to turn away, to crawl under my covers… or bolt for the door, but again, my limbs were glued in place.

The cackle continued… Mocking, harsh, cruel.

I tried to scream, but I had lost my voice. Not a single noise could be forced out. Fear escalated.

“I am in control now… I told you that already… Where is your God? He’s not here to save you. I have control over you & He can’t stop it. Where is He? Hahaha.”

Crying, Afraid… But Then, Mom

I was crying now, terrified out of my mind. I urged my body to break the hold with every ounce of will until one arm broke free & I just slammed it into the wall over & over again, my voice still missing.

“No one can help you. Not even God is coming. Can you hear Him? No. Can you see Him? No. That’s because He was never even here. He doesn’t actually care about you & I am in control now! Hahahaha.”

My Mom eventually came rushing in as I cried & panicked.

I found my voice & began to unintelligibly tell her everything all at once, panic consuming me.

Stop Giving Satan the Power

My Mom wisely told me to stop giving Satan the power, that God was bigger & I needed to remind him & myself of that!

She was on the edge of my bed & I think she prayed with me.

As I looked up at her, terror-stricken, I saw as if she had the face of a demon, glaringly mocking me with a sneer.

I screeched & couldn’t get myself to look her in the face anymore.

Mind Games of Terror

My cat came out from under the bed to find out what was going on & when he jumped on my bed, I snatched him up & clung to him.

The mocking laughter continued, an audible voice speaking directly into my head, as the dark cloud remained.

As I hugged my cat, crying loudly, I pinched my eyes closed & a vision of terror flashed in my mind, of my cat lunging at my throat with fangs bared.

I dropped my cat & cried louder, scared to look at anyone or anything, afraid it would be warped & twisted into something even more terrifying.

I felt like the demon was winning & I had no hope. I had prayed & begged & yet God hadn’t shown up & hadn’t yelled to silence the voice.

Read About God’s Power… Remind Your Heart Who Is Really in Control!

I was alone & starting to believe the voice I heard.

My Mom turned on the lights to my room, turned my stereo to Worship music & got my Bible.

Her idea was to go through the concordance in the back of the Bible, look up the word “power” & read EVERY verse listed to remind myself that GOD is in control, not this demon.

The voice kept jeering, “He can’t help you anymore. I have control over you now. You’re mine!!”

I picked up my Bible, willing to try anything to make the voice stop, & started at the first verse listed, making my way through each verse where it mentions the power of God.

I Thought It Was Over

The voice faded & the fear subsided.

My Mom eventually prayed with me once more, told me to keep reading, & left to return to bed.

My eyelids grew heavy & with the voice gone, I decided to brave turning off the music, turning off the light, & going back to sleep.

But as soon as I got back in bed, the voice returned… “You thought you could get rid of me that easily?! Hahahaha. I’m still here & there’s nothing you can do to get rid of me because God’s not coming to help you.”

I Must Trust in God’s Power More Than My Fear

I sprinted for the light, turned on the music to drown out the voice, & grabbed my Bible to pick up where I left off.

I felt God nudging my heart, “Lean into me. Learn about my power. Don’t trust the voice. Just keep reading & trust my power instead. I am with you. Keep reading to the last word.”

I still felt the evil near me, but I kept reading, keeping my eyes glued to learning more about God’s power, not wanting to be crushed by my fear.

And as I finished the last word of the last verse, it happened.

With A Single Thought…

With a single thought, God made everything still.

Everything.

It was mind-blowing how very suddenly the darkness vanished; the voice was erased, & the fear just evaporated all in the single instant that I finished reading.

God showed in a profoundly surprising way, that no matter how present Satan makes himself or how much he mocks or jeers or accuses… No matter how much power he may display over us… God has the final word.

A Single Thought of God’s Is Greater Than Satan’s Worst

God didn’t have to make a grand appearance to show His power.

God didn’t have to boom his voice over the demon’s to show His power.

God didn’t have to do anything “MORE THAN” the demon to prove Himself.

He proved Himself with a single thought. A THOUGHT of God’s was more powerful than the loudest, strongest action the demon could pull off.

A THOUGHT.

No Matter How Big Your Fear Is… God Is Bigger

I share this story with you, not to scare you into sleeping with the light on, but to demonstrate to you that NO MATTER HOW BIG YOUR FEAR IS… GOD IS BIGGER!

Just a single THOUGHT is bigger than the worst that Satan can do.

Does God let Satan bellow & threaten & cause harm? Yes. But all in a display to show us that if we trust in God Himself instead, Satan, with all his given power, is POWERLESS.

A New Day of Trusting God Above My Fears… Even in Sleep

After that day, nightmares changed for me. They, for the most part, vanished completely from my nights.

But when they did show up, they were different.

The monster or the killer or whoever would come at me… I would be screaming & running in fear… Only to have a realization that, no, I’m not doing this anymore… PIVOTING to face the threat, & yelling, “In the Name of JESUS CHRIST, LEAVE. ME. ALONE!”

And the monster would vanish & the dream would transform where any fragment of danger or fear would just vanish & laughter would replace it.

If We Let Him… If We Learn to Trust Him First

God has power over even our dreams, if we let Him.

God has power over the darkness, if we let Him.

God has POWER over our fear, IF WE LET HIM.

So, let Him.

Trust HIM.

He is God-Almighty, Creator of the Heavens & the Earth, Ruler of all, King of kings, Lord of lords, Beginning & the End, Infinite, Redeemer, He is Love. He is POWER.

Trust Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Iris Earrings

Iridescent pink crystal beads sway on these golden teardrop hoops.

Artisan Information:

In Peru, rural citizens have been affected by extreme poverty & guerrilla warfare. Women are affected the worst as their husbands generally leave them in search of work. Many are unable to get the basic needs of food, shelter, & clothing. But with every purchase of this product, women are finding hope & an income by hand making this beautiful product. Because of you, these family businesses are now empowering the next generation!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Peru!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Doubts, So Many Doubts

If you have read my testimony, you have seen that my life was once defined by insufferable doubts for most of my growing up years. (Read my testimony HERE.)

I hated the tossing & turning that the doubts invoked, but I didn’t know how to find the calm amidst my slew of unanswered questions.

Saved Young, But Then…

You see, I accepted Jesus as my Redeemer & Savior when I was very young, but then the doubts of the world threatened me at every turn, & they seemed to multiply with each passing year.

I didn’t know how to quiet the questions.

I wished for childlike faith, an innocence that could easily believe.

I wished that I could turn off the doubts & live in peaceful assurance.

I wished that I didn’t feel the need to know & that I could just move on with life.

But I couldn’t figure out how.

More Friends… More Doubts

With every new friend came new opinions about religions & “gods”. Every person seemed to have their own opinions about “truth”.

But if they were all true, then none of them were true.

How could one “god” be right to one person & another be right for another person? Wouldn’t that imply that both are imagined & made up by the believer or group of believers?

It didn’t make sense to me.

So who was right?

Every Answer Stirred More Questions

No matter how many questions I asked, with every answer or explanation I was given, I was met with the exact same personal conclusion, “but they’re human… & “to err is human.”

So, whose opinion could I really trust? Which one was true? Who determined which one was true? How could anyone ever really know?

And so, because I could not trust every opinion I was given & because I didn’t know whose opinion I COULD trust, I was always brought back to square one, in my tangled mess of doubts.

Relatable?

At this point, you may be relating to me. Maybe you have wondered the same things.

Maybe you avoid asking those questions because you don’t know their answers.

Maybe you avoid acknowledging those questions exist because you’re afraid of what that means about whether your salvation is genuine (for those who have already accepted Christ).

Maybe you are intent on or content with believing your own opinions, whether they are true or not.

But, although I personally struggled through each of those “maybe” scenarios, I could not keep those questions from wanting to burst out of me.

Truth I Could Live For

I had to know the TRUTH.

Not what others WANT me to believe. Not just what others WANT to believe themselves. I wanted the TRUTH.

If God was real, I had to make a decision whether to reject or accept Him.

If He wasn’t real, I wanted to know so that I could live however I wanted, without unnecessary guilt of not following the 10 Commandments from the Bible.

But How Do You Really KNOW?

But, as I mentioned above, every answer I sought after left me right back where I started, because every answer I received stemmed from human understanding, human wisdom, &/or human knowledge.

And anything from us as humans is vulnerable to mistakes & misunderstandings & circulating misinformation.

I needed more.

Case for Christ

If you have ever watched Case for Christ, a movie that came out in 2017, it will greatly help you understand both my doubting & how I found my answer.

Case for Christ is a movie based on the true story of former atheist Lee Strobel. When his wife becomes a Christian, it sends his world in an upheaval & he embarks on a mission to use his research journalistic skills to disprove Christ.

I may not have done the extensive research that Lee Strobel did, , but my doubts weighed just as heavily, & like his experience, no proof seemed sufficient.

In the movie, there is a scene where he is pushing his wife to tell him why she would believe something he can’t prove (even though all of the professional sources he sought implied that all evidence pointed to a supreme being in existence).

Her answer was my answer & it can be paraphrased as something like this, “because He feels more real than anything I have felt in my life.”

Forever Searching… Or, Ask God for Truth

You see, I could search for proof my whole life, but it all comes down to this, will I let myself have faith?

Faith is not easy, but it doesn’t rest in having to know the answer to everything. It comes down to admitting we can’t & that God is more real than anything we can feel in this life.

If you struggle with this, take a moment to consider this: Are you willing to submit to the truth when you find it? Or are you avoiding truth, just looking for an excuse to live your way, just without consequences?

We can all admit that there are consequences to the choices we make. We live in a broken, fallen world, plagued by sin & self-led choices.

But God offers hope because He tells us the truth. It’s not up to us. It’s Him. So, submit your life to Him & let HIM show you the truth you seek.

“Lord, I Believe. Help My Unbelief!”

Be willing to pray the doubter’s prayer, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”

If you REALLY want the truth, ASK Him to show you. Stop letting your doubts torment you & finally find stability in the truth.

It can sound something like this:

“God, I am so exhausted from doubting everything about life! How can I know what is real? How do I base my life on what I don’t understand or don’t know is positively true? Help me to see the truth. If you are who You say You are, then You alone can shine straight through to the core of my doubting & shine a light of truth into it. Stabilize me & show me what to believe. I don’t want to base my life on a lie, but I don’t want to face the consequences of an ignored or avoided or misunderstood truth. So, please help me. Show me the way to truth. Lord, somehow I believe, but help my unbelief. AMEN.”

Keep Asking… He Hears You & He WILL Answer You If You Seek Earnestly

I prayed something similar for many years, not willing to give up & surrender to the great waves of doubt that tossed me to & fro in life. I wanted to feel grounded & secure. I wanted to build my life on truth, not opinion or fantasy.

Will you take that journey? Have you already come out the other side?

I no longer have those doubts, because He has cut through them to show me Himself. He knew exactly what I needed because He is GOD.

Keep seeking His face, for He knows just what you need. And once you find the truth in Him, you will see that He feels more real than anything real that you have ever felt tasted, seen, heard, or smelled…

& that’s how I know He is THE truth.

Shine Hope, Lovely… By seeking HIM.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning EST for more encouragement from one imperfect human to another.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Crystal Spring Earrings

Made from real silver and chalcedony stone, these drop earrings are so easy to throw on.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

(*Also Pictured: Sea Glass Necklace from Jordan!*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

What Does it Mean?

The Bible talks a lot about prayer, so what does prayer mean, why does it matter so much to God, & what does it actually accomplish?

I Thessalonians 5:17 is just two simple words, “Pray continually,” or, as other translations put it, “pray without ceasing,” but what does that actually mean? Are we supposed to pray through every waking moment? Pretty much.

Now wait, before you go thinking something along the lines of, “but what about when I am sleeping? Or doing something else? Or concentrating on something important? How am I supposed to be expected to never cease praying?

In All Things

Now here’s one thought—think about this for a moment. Do you usually have inner dialogue with yourself—Thinking, problem solving, creating, visualizing, dreaming, etc.?

Now imagine this, God sees all of what goes through your mind—at all times. He hears your thoughts constantly. He knows everything about you, even to a subconscious level!

So why not include Him in your thoughts, problem solving, creating, visualizing, dreaming, etc.?

Just Add God

AS thoughts role through your mind, talk to God instead of to yourself. He is a faithful friend & a kind Father, waiting to spend quality time with you.

AS you are thinking through a problem, ask Him to give you wisdom & insight, because He is infinitely wise.

AS you are creating, ask for His inspiration, because He is infinitely creative! Think of all the unique qualities in just the human population alone & the intricacies of the human body. Envision God’s masterpieces in nature like clouds, flowers, snow, mountains, animals, etc.! He is creative!

AS you are visualizing & dreaming, ask for God’s input & thank Him for allowing such beauty & vastness to be imagined in just our minds!

God is pretty amazing at being God. He is humble & kind & loving. He is faithful. He is infinitely wise & creative!

We’re just asked to invite Him into the conversation. Let Him lead you with His able hands &His  loving care for you.

Why Does God Care Whether We Pray?

So why does it matter so much to God that we pray? Doesn’t He already know everything we’re thinking without us telling Him?

Well, yes. But….

To help us grasp an aspect of why prayer matters to God, I once heard the illustration of a child & her mother.

Imagine with me that the child’s teacher calls home every day & tells the mother everything that happened to their child that day, in every detail they could recall… When the child returns home, the mother then inquires about her daughter’s day, only to be met with a hurried, short answer, eager to run off & play.

The mother already knew the answer to her own questions, but she longed to connect with her daughter. How do you think it felt to be snubbed by the child you adore so much? (Maybe some moms already know the feeling from experience!)

Because God Cares About You

You see, not only is it POSSIBLE to pray continually, taking all of our concerns & cares to God, & even though God already knows EVERYTHING before we even tell Him… God WANTS to hear from us. He WANTS connection & relationship with us. He LOVES you!

Maybe we are stressed, anxious, afraid, hurting, etc. God already knows.

But our Loving Father–God– gives rest, peace, strength, power, & protection to those who seek Him out.

He will never force unwanted attention on us, but He will willingly pour it out to those who seek Him.

He wants to comfort you. He wants to figuratively hold you safe in His fortress of protection against the pain in this world. He wants to lift us up to soar like an eagle above the fray. He wants to give us rest.

All He asks is for us to come to Him & talk to Him & ask for His help, guidance, direction, wisdom, strength, hope, peace, love, joy, etc.

What’s the Big Deal?

But what does prayer even accomplish?

First of all, one of the biggest things I have noticed is that the more I pray, the more I feel His presence & peace in my life.

When we don’t pray, God is still working, but we are so distracted scrambling through each moment, too absorbed in our day-to-day chaos to even notice His presence sometimes.

Sometimes, we feel so caught up in our world that we feel like He has vanished & left us to our scramble of chaos.

But when we pray over specific things throughout the day that cause us worry or strain or even a cry for comfort, we are allowing God to show off His love for us.

Instead of His actions being vague, unnoticed background noise to our chaos, they become the foreground in a beautiful display of love & affection for us.

He Longs to Pour Love on Us Continually

It’s sort of like someone following you around trying to give you flowers & chocolates & hugs of comfort & kind words of affection… but we are juggling so much that we keep saying, “yeah yeah, not now,” without noticing their kind gestures for even a moment.

Allow God to permeate your day. Allow time to stop & receive His kind gestures of love & affection. Allow His infinite wisdom to guide & direct you through the crazy. Allow His strength to give you peace in the struggle.

He is constantly trying to show you Himself, so take time to pray through it all & allow Him room to show off His love for you. Allow Him to show you all that He is capable of in the midst of your life.

Prayer lets us see Him work. Prayer gives credit where credit is due–to God–& shines a light of “obviousness” to His workings day-to-day.

Let God Lead, Let God Shine

Allow your burdens to fall at His feet, letting Him be shown off to everyone around you, through your life. Let Him do the leading.

Maybe you have been like me & you have prayed constantly about something for which your heart ached & desired (my recent personal examples are asking to be comfortable & less lonely overseas & also for a child these past 5.5 years).

Maybe you have prayed so many times with no answer that you even feel bitter about praying even once more about it. (Definitely been there!)

Maybe you feel forgotten & hurt by God for allowing a painful situation to happen to you. (Definitely been there, too!)

But listen to me, Beautiful. God cares about you still. He CARES about you more than you can even wrap your head around. And He definitely hasn’t forgotten you & He is definitely NOT mocking you.

God hears you.

God Doesn’t Promise Easy

But listen to this as well, God tells us something that is vital to understand while living on this Earth…

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Notice the phrase, “in this world you WILL have trouble.” (Emphasis added.) God never promises this life will be easy. In fact, He tells us just the opposite.

In this world, there is sin. We are born as sinners. Sin exists & sin hurts.

We are not immune from feeling the affects of sin.

But, God

But God also has another important thing to say in that verse—“But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

You see, He will not promise that you will never face pain or struggle, but He does promise countless times, in the Bible, that He will comfort & strengthen us as we trust in Him… as we PRAY & ask Him to guide us & comfort us along the way.

Learn & Grow & Pray with Effectiveness!

We won’t always get our way, & sometimes that is simply because we aren’t asking the right question.

That is why, along with prayer, we should be learning who God is & what He promises us.

Because God KEEPS His promises 100% of the time & we can pray them with full trust that He will answer us as He promises!

In My Unanswered Prayers, God Worked WONDERS!

In my unanswered prayer for comfort overseas, God taught me that although I am weak & prone to bitterness/wandering from Him, His grace sustains me & His grace covers all of my failings!

In my unanswered prayer to have children these past almost 6 years, God has shown me that I can be fruitful for the next generation by pouring hope into other women who will in turn pass that hope onto all of THEIR children! God KNOWS my heart!!

When I thought He was ignoring me or leaving my prayers unanswered, He was still working. He was waiting for me to trust Him, lay my desires at His throne, & request of Him that His opinion & His guidance take authority over my own earthly wisdom.

He Offers Us So Much More Than We Ask!

He offers us joy in suffering, comfort in trials, strength in weakness & so much more.

So, as we learn more about who His is & what He promises us, through reading & studying His Word to us—the Bible, we can reach out & take claim of those!

We will learn how to pray more effectively the more we know Him & His promises.

Not Today, Satan!

Don’t let Satan trick you into believing that prayer is only before meals, quick & distracted by the lure of warm food. Don’t let him trick you into thinking prayer is only this formal ritual that must be performed or spoken a certain way.

God is with us always. He hears our thoughts. He knows you. So just TALK to Him!

Even in your thoughts, learn to have a conversation with Him throughout your day, letting Him in on your activities & ideas, asking for His direction & wisdom.

And if you struggle or feel resistance, don’t you dare let the devil make you think it ends there—prayer honors God, so claim that Truth & ask God to grow you in prayer! And keep asking!

The more you pray & ask God to help you learn to pray, the more God fans that flame & grows that seed of your desire to know Him.

What Can Prayer Do?

Prayer just means talking to God—out loud or in your thoughts.

Prayer matters because it’s how we see God work & it grows our relationship with Him because He cares so much for us.

Prayer accomplishes SO much because it transfers our worries & cares & struggles & insecurities & weakness to His infinite Love, Wisdom, Strength, Power, & ENOUGHness.

He fills us. He fulfills us. He guides & directs us. He comforts us. He protects us. He listens to us. He LOVES us!

So, talk to Him, Beautiful!

Start the conversation & SHINE HOPE!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning at 6am EST for more encouragement!

Also, next week will feature this month’s Special Feature post, shared every last Thursday of the month. This is my chance to share with you something a little different than the usual, so you can see a different side of me. Sometimes I share short stories, sometimes poetry, other times I will share about life in Japan, etc., so make sure to check it out!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Empowering Women in Jordan & India Out of Poverty!

This necklace features a silver-plated chain with a sea glass charm. *Sizes & colors of glass vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. These men balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles.

Because of their cleanup efforts of the beaches at the Red Sea, these women now upcycle glass from local restaurants. The glass is then tumbled with water & sand from the Red Sea.

Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The Long-Gone Yesterdays

I must confess that this is a recent area of struggle for me.

But it didn’t use to be that way. I used to long to share every thought with God & to receive His peace & wisdom & strength in each given moment.

It was empowering to know that where I was weak, He was infinitely strong, & I could count on Him… Always.

But here I am, thirsting from six years of dryness in my life, having unlearned the precious practice of regular prayer.

What Once Was

I must tell you, after having experienced a life lived with prayer, this new normal seems like a constant battle, a constant striving, & a constant desperation to fill the emptiness that God’s peace once filled thoroughly.

How do you unlearn that wonderful habit of praying regularly & therefore regularly benefiting from God’s many blessings in our lives, you might wonder? Blessings like joy in trials, trust & faith when the world doesn’t make sense, strength when mine lacks, peace when the storms rage, etc. etc. etc.?

How does one experience all of those magnificent things through prayer & then simply walk away from it?

I’ll tell you how it happened for me.

The Root of My Downfall

Disappointment.

That’s right. All of those blessings I once relished & I tossed them all aside because God didn’t answer my prayers the way I thought He would (or rather, should, in my opinion).

After having gone through my wilderness of lacking friendships, lacking spiritual support, lacking comfort… I gave up asking, instead of changing my prayers & trusting anyway.

Be Open, Be Honest–It’s Worth It!

You see, we should definitely feel free & open to share every concern, every need, & every desire with God, because He wants us to have that open relationship with Him… But if we really want to be at peace & realize God’s power in our lives, we also have to be willing to pray for something a little more… for God’s will to be done & for us to trust Him in that will.

Do you remember that little nugget from the “Lord’s Prayer”? “Your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven”? (Matthew 6:10)

You see, God wants to interact with us in our lives & He wants to shower good things on us, like I mentioned earlier, but those things do not always come when we get our way, & God knows this.

His Ways Are Higher

Isaiah 55:8-9 says,

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

And it is so, so right!

We may think we know what we’re asking, but we have to keep in mind that God sees the big picture. He knows how all of the pieces fit together.

Connecting That to Prayer

So, when we are communicating with Him & we express our desires or longings, we need to learn to rest in that Truth—that God knows what He’s doing better than we do.

And when disappointments come, we need to come back to that fact all over again & pray that God help us rest in His plan above even our own.

But, I Didn’t

And that’s exactly what I had not been doing.

And now I am scrambling to get through each day & feeling like I am treading water some days, just trying to keep my head above water… because I got out of the habit of resting in Him when all seems lost… & even before it even gets to that point.

The JOYS I Once Experienced

Let me lay out for you a picture of what my relationship with God USED to look like, to contrast it with the scrambling I have been describing as my current prayer life.

Imagine a best friend whom you can tell anything. They always listen, even if it’s rambling. They are always patient & kind & gentle. When you mess up, they are quick to forgive. When they help you through a lesson you’ve been needing to learn, they are always so gentle & patient with you through it, never rushing your progress, but simultaneously never giving up on you (no matter how many times you miss the mark). You always feel safe & loved & wanted. He lifts the burdens of your past guilt or shame from your shoulders & gives you a lasting sense of freedom. When you feel stuck or troubled, He always has the right wisdom for just that moment. He is always there, always loving, & always strong, even when you are not.

That’s a tiny glimpse as to what a life of prayer offers you.

Seems pretty crazy that I gave that up, doesn’t it? Stupid, really.

When We Justify Our Mistakes

I guess I justified each time I refused to pray about something  because I didn’t think God would give me what I wanted, & He didn’t. And He knew better, like always. But I didn’t.

I got bitter that I felt lonely. I got bitter that I still didn’t have a baby. I got bitter that I couldn’t get a job for so long. I got bitter that Jamie worked so much. I got bitter that my efforts to encourage others seemed unwanted. I got bitter that I didn’t have “my way”.

I gave up on SO MUCH just because I was disappointed & selfish in my prayers.

And because I didn’t trust Him enough to just talk to Him about it & let Him work it out.

Lessons Sometimes Take a While to Learn

And you would think that I would have learned my lesson by this point in my life. I have had many times of disappointment that I trusted to God, & I found so much joy & peace & strength as a result!

In the past, when I had something crash & burn or I felt a prayer go unanswered, I would ask Him to guide my heart & thoughts to trust Him through it. I would let my requests be made known to Him, through prayer, but then I would leave the rest up to Him & ask for His peace to fill me as He did the leading.

But I gave that up.

God Keeps Forgiving

Sometimes I ask myself how I could be that dense. How could I KNOW the benefits of trusting it all to God, no matter what, & then just throw it all away because I didn’t get my way?

But then I remember this, I am still so full of pride & selfishness that I too often excuse away. And I am weak. I am human, & I have limitations. And yes, I could have (& should have!) trusted God anyway, but sometimes I am reminded through my failures just how amazing He is.

Have you heard the phrase, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”?

It’s a valuable reminder for us when we go through this time of failure.

Getting Too Comfortable

I grew too comfortable in drawing my hope from Him, that I started believing that it was by my merit that He answered the ways He did, versus His simple goodness & grace in my life.

I don’t DESERVE any of His goodness or faithfulness, but He chooses to give it every single day… if only I am willing to accept it instead of throwing it aside because it doesn’t look like what I specifically asked Him for.

But the amazing thing about God is that He IS faithful. And He is forgiving & patient & ENOUGH.

Prodigal Daughter & the Welcoming Father

I am the prodigal daughter in this scenario. I asked for what I didn’t deserve in the first place, squandered my life to try to get my way, & am now dejected, lost, & alone, realizing that my way hasn’t brought me the joy I thought it would.

And as I turn back, broken & scarred… ashamed of my behavior & the mistreatment of God’s faithfulness & mercies… ready to learn all over again what I left behind….

There God is, not a scornful look on His face. Not crossed arms. Not judgment & lectures waiting to be dumped on me upon my return.

NO.

There He is. An understanding, gentle smile on His face. Arms wide open. Ready to love me & forgive me & work toward rebuilding our relationship.

Because that’s who He is.

He is a good, GOOD Father.

Lay It All Before Him… Come Back to Him

I don’t deserve any of it. Sobs rock me even as I write this, just being reminded of what I tossed aside so childishly, only to return to His welcoming grace & love, which He so undeservedly offers me.

Prayer doesn’t have to be formal & unrealistic.

God knows you better than you know yourself.

He can handle your disappointments, your anger & frustrations, your desires & mistakes.

Share those with Him.

Ask For It

Ask for His wisdom. Ask for His strength to cover you. Ask for Him to be your source of peace. Ask Him to cover your insecurities & inadequacies with His power. Ask Him to forgive your worst sins (He WILL forgive them all). Ask Him to guide your each step. Ask Him to renew your heart & mind, & to give you a fresh start. Ask Him to show you who HE created you to be, & to wash away anything about you that is more of a result of your mistakes & the lies of this world & to replace all of that with His wisdom & grace.

He is enough, Lovely. Every single time. He. Is. ENOUGH.

And prayer is a beautiful gift & privilege.

So be willing to come before Him & talk to Him like a best friend, like a loving Father, & as the King above all things in Heaven & on Earth.

He is waiting with open arms. He is waiting for you.

Amen!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday for my newest weekly blog post!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Unity Necklace

Empowering women out of poverty in Haiti & India!

Upcycled beads made from glass and clay from Haiti’s mountains hang on a silver plated chain.

Artisan Information:

Haiti had this century’s worst natural disaster and is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of the orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths or natural disasters, but by parents who had to give them up simply because they could not feed them. The group we work with is an “un-orphanage” and is helping with the orphan crisis by providing parents with sustainable business through creating beautiful products like this necklace.

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Haiti!

(*Also pictured: Western Stud Trio (silver pair), empowering women in India!)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!