A Jabbled Mind

I have a lot of stuff floating around my mind today. I have a big case of the, “I don’t wanna.”

Have you ever had days where you just can’t seem to sit down & concentrate on one thing? Because that’s totally me today.

Today has been a game of, “how long can I put off sitting down to write my blog, because I just can’t seem to sort out my thoughts & sit still for more than a few minutes at a time.”

But here I am, so that’s a start…?

Wanting to Blend In

Writing my blog these last two years has taken me on a crazy ride.

When I first started, I was afraid of not being a blend-in-able nobody.

I was basically afraid of facing the critical & harsh world of online/social media. I am most likely never going to be completely over this, I imagine, because one of my “love languages” is affirmation & while that means I flourish when others believe in me, negative responses make me want to quit.

I just pray about this & know that if/when it happens, I will just need to cling to God & step forward with His help, because this girl won’t make it far otherwise. (Good thing God is big enough for the both of us, huh?)

A Voice in the Wind

After praying over this anxiety & asking God to help me trust Him more than my fears, the blog began… & so did other, new worries.

Not too long after beginning my blog, Satan tried scaring me away from shining for Christ by making me feel like a voice in the wind.

I had such passion & excitement, mixed with diligent planning, praying, & preparations, to share my heart & point to Jesus’ hope in everything I talked about… but no one seemed to care one single bit.

It was pure crickets.

I felt alone. I felt my efforts were wasted. I felt my voice simply echoed over empty rooms.

He Is SO Worth It

But again, God is always ready to use faced trials in our obedience to follow His lead as an opportunity to teach & grow me & that, sister, is exactly what He did.

God showed me through that LONG time of silence a lesson about priorities.

Was my priority in being heard or in showing up in obedience to Jesus Christ whether I felt heard or not, shining a light of hope in Him no matter who noticed? Was my goal recognition or putting God’s glory first regardless?

Even If Just the Background Noise

It was through that wasteland of cricket responses that I learned that not everyone who notices will say so, but I should show up & point to Jesus Christ anyway.

It was through that wasteland that I learned that even if NO ONE was paying attention, silent or not, it was worth showing up for Jesus.

Even if to others I was just background noise that sang the praises of my Father God, I was willing to show up & keep being that background noise that always pointed to Him as my hope.

It wasn’t about me. It was about Him.

Growing Pains Lead to Growth

But, of course, the lessons didn’t stop there.

Next, after growing in understanding my need to turn to God in my fears & after licking my wounds of feeling invisible in my efforts & exchanging that perspective to just show up & point to Him anyway… Next came a new fear: Never feeling like I had anything important to say.

Satan keeps on coming & God keeps on using it to make my trust in God even stronger. Take that, Satan!

You can probably guess that God ALSO used this insecurity to grow me… He did. He’s always with me.

Not How Great I Am

It’s easy to look at my mistakes, my failures, my insecurities, my awkwardness (this one is a big one, y’all), my PAST, my lacking, my insufficiencies, my everything-that-is-less-than-perfect-about-me… & think to myself & to God, “God, are You kidding me? I canNOT do this! I mean, LOOK at me!? I am not worthy to be a voice for You. I am not good enough to stand up & shout Your glory. I will screw it up… completely. I am too imperfect for this. I can’t.”

But God’s voice comes as a gentle reminder over my heart, “I made you. I don’t make mistakes. You’re human & you’re limited, yes… But I am Almighty AND I love you beyond your comprehension. I will help you. I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to show up for Me & let Me work through it. Your flaws, My glory. Just show up. Lean into Me, let Me strengthen you, let Me lead, & just show up. The world needs more people willing to be a shining light of hope in the darkness of sin & despair. I am that hope. So, just show up & shine & let Me do the rest.”

Just SHOW UP

And so, I come each week, knowing some weeks I probably sound like a rambling baboon.

But I show up. Because He’s worth showing up for.

God’s Not Done with Me Yet…

And finally, there are days like today, that have been showing up more & more frequently & consistently lately—Not being able to sit still or concentrate & then procrastinating REAL hard as a result.

And, looking back at God’s track record above, through the struggles on my now 2-year journey with this blog (not to mention every other trial I have turned to Him with in my life), I am pretty confident that God has a plan in this struggle as well.

He’s Always with Me… & You

So, I turn to Him in it. I lay down my grief & whining & dragging of my feet. I open up honestly to Him about my cases of, “I don’t wannas.” And I ask for His help… for Him to speak to someone, anyone, even if just one person, through my chaotic mess of thoughts as I sit to write.

And hopefully that’s you. Hopefully this encourages you to take every struggle, every trial, every “I don’t wanna” to HIM & ask for His help through every one of them.

I Pray for EASY

Do I often wish & ask God to make it easier, with less struggle & trial on this blog journey? YES.

But then I would be even more tempted to stop relying on Him & start relying more on myself.

Relying on myself NEVER ends well.

So, I will forever be grateful for the trials that remind me of my GREAT weakness & His GREAT willingness to help me every step of the way.

God Is Infinite… With Infinite Love for Us

Satan may have a slew of tactics to keep us silent, make us want to quit, & distract us away from shining for Jesus… BUT, God is INFINITELY bigger AND opens His doors wide for our EVERY petition & request.

• NO request is too small. He is infinite.
• NO request is too big. He is infinite.
• NO request is too hard. He is infinite.
• NO request is too inconvenient. He is infinite.
• NO request is too silly or “inconsequential”. He is infinite.

Ask Him… No Matter WHAT Your Struggle Is… Just ASK HIM

JUST ASK HIM. Be honest & raw & real about your heart & your screw ups & your “I don’t wannas” & go ahead & ASK HIM FOR HIS HELP.

Shine Hope by taking your messes to our infinite, almighty, loving God & by asking Him for His help through every single one.

He is infinite AND He loves you, Beautiful.

(Done writing with 3 hours left before my deadline… not including the need to do editing, graphics, & my Join My Tribe emails… Boy, I cannot WAIT until the time change hits again, because then it will give me an extra hour I can procrastinate each week, haha. (We don’t have daylight savings time in Japan.) But maybe I should pray through that, too.) 😉

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Radiant Necklace Set

On-trend set of 3 layered necklaces (only 1 shown) that can be worn together or separately, featuring a labradorite stone, hammered discs, and a blue topaz crystal drop.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. Every purchase provides women with income, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members. Many of these artisans have been exploited by sweatshops in the past but are now receiving fair wages as artisans in safe & caring fair-trade workshops.

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

How Low Can You Go?

Have you ever gone through something really rough? Like test-your-faith rough?

Have you ever faced a pain that made you want to doubt God’s goodness? Or whether He cared about you or even saw you?

Have you ever felt like your life was defined by the hours you spent crying each day? Like the dark clouds seemed to never relent? Like your dark days could never get darker but always did?

I have.

Pain Is Real & We All Face It

I have been through depression & times of constant, high anxiety. I have had my heart shattered into seemingly millions of pieces. I have fought against the trailing effects of trauma. I have feared a deteriorating marriage. I have felt unworthy of having children because I wasn’t given any. I have faced betrayal by close friends. I have lived through devastating deserts of loneliness where no one seemed to understand or know how to help.

I have cried out to God & felt unheard.

Hindsight Guilt

When I have emerged on the other side of those treacherously painful valleys by God’s hand, I have looked back with shame for doubting God’s power & goodness & love for me.

I remembered the nights of crying, “Where ARE YOU???!”

All my life, I self-condemned for those moments where my faith slipped, letting Satan torment me with how unfaithful I really am in trusting God… with thoughts of how “terrible a Christian” I am for ever having those thoughts & worries & pain barrage my thought life & prayers–as if feeling pain meant I didn’t have enough faith.

A New Perspective

But lately, God has been shining a light on a new perspective.

In reading through the Psalms with a study group, I noticed that a vast majority of the Psalms were just like my prayers during those terribly painful moments of my life.

I noticed, too, how that theme of lamentation even flows through several books in the Bible in times of distress.

And finally, I started to see how human it is to feel these emotions & hurts.

An Important Distinction- Complaint Vs. Lament

You see, there is a very important difference between complaining & lamenting.

Complaining seeks support, but spreads the dissention & worry & heaviness among others who cannot improve the situation. It also implies there is no hope.

Lamenting to God seeks His support, focusing through the storms of life on HIS ability to help.

Complaining focuses on the source of the problem, while lamenting to God focuses on the Source of the Solution TO the problem-GOD.

Our Impossible Is, to Him, Always Possible

When we cry out to Him, no matter how impossible it may seem that He might be able to fix it, we are exercising our “mustard seed faith…” (Matthew 17:20) that even if we doubt how God can or will help us, we know deep down that if anyone CAN help us, it WILL be Him.

That’s the distinction.

When we complain, we spread & grow bitterness, not solving the problem nor seeking the One who can.

When we lament in prayers to Him, we are recognizing that whether or not we see a possible light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, that God is where our help will come from.

It Is Okay to be Human-That Is What You Are, After All

It is okay to fall apart. It is okay to feel the weight of your world crashing around you when something unimaginably hard crosses our path. We are only human & can only endure so much in our own strength.

It is okay to mourn. It is okay to struggle.

Where Does Your Hope Come From? My Hope Is in the Lord

But the key is where do you turn as your source of Hope & Help & Healing?

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God & not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed….” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)

It may seem to crush us under the weight of seeming impossibility, but God is a God of making the impossible possible.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

Cling to God in Distress & Tell Satan to Shut It

So, don’t let Satan riddle you with guilt & shame for feeling so beat up & crying out about it to God.

Instead, take your laments to God, pour out your honest heart (I promise He can handle your worst), & call out to Him in your distress, even if all you have to offer is your mustard seed-sized faith.

Not HOW MUCH Faith, But in WHOM You Have Faith

Remember, a mustard-seed-sized faith can move a mountain… In other words, it seems impossible, & you feel you have so little faith in it ever even BEING possible, but it’s the WHO you have faith in versus the HOW MUCH faith you have that makes the impossible POSSIBLE.

So, cry out to Him. Lay it all on Him, even when you feel you have nothing left to offer.

And if Satan tries to guilt you for feeling hopeless when you are crying out to God for hope, tell him to get out & leave you alone. Because God hears you. He doesn’t expect you to clean up the mess that you are first. He doesn’t expect you to understand all His ways. He just asks you to trust HIM in the mess.

Weakness Invites Us to See All God Can Do in Light of Our Inability

Looking back & reading through the Psalms, I am reminded that it is only human to feel overwhelmed by what we cannot control or ease, but that we are invited to come to God, pour it all out to Him, & seek His help.

God can do GREAT things with your very little.

Shine HOPE by trusting the WHO behind your faith, not the HOW MUCH faith.

He’s GOT you. He is able & He is willing.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Manilla Bay Earrings

Local capiz shell is dyed a light blue/green hue and hand cut into half moon shapes accented with silver toned metal.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Resisting the Urge to Avoid

Isn’t this a fun thing to consider (Note the sarcasm)? The idea of finding comfort in being uncomfortable?

I don’t know about you, but for me, I would rather AVOID being uncomfortable.

Whether it be a person who grates me or is constantly bringing up controversial topics, or even the thought of doing something uncomfortable that God has asked of me (like running a blog or loving my enemy, for example)… I would rather say, “No thanks!” & carry on without it. This concept of getting comfortable being uncomfortable may seem like the opposite of a good idea to you, too. Trust me, it’s not such a fun thing for me to consider either.

Growing in Complacency or TRUST?

I like comfort just as much as anyone else, if not more.

But one thing that running my blog has taught me is that I need to lean into my discomfort more than striving for more comfort.

One thing that comfort does for many of us is a growing complacency, built on trusting what we feel like doing or what we feel capable of doing, versus trusting an infinite God to help us overcome & do more than we already feel comfortable doing.

A Constant Need for Surrender is Not Comfortable, But It Is Filled with Many Blessings

This may or may not come as a surprise to you, but running my blog is not a comfort zone for me. I do not feel ready to go each week, jumping at the bit to write. It’s a constant surrender for me.

My desire for comfort coupled with my constant need to surrender that comfort to God in order to run this blog means that I have tried unsuccessfully to talk myself out of continuing my blog countless times.

Even today, I spent most of the day doing everything but work on this post for this week. It will be published in about 5 hours & I am just now starting it.

Why Keep Going if It Takes Continual Surrendered Discomfort?

So why do it? Why keep doing something that I don’t always feel comfortable/confident doing?

Because every time I pray about it, I feel God patiently & gently nudging me to be a light for Him, to point others to Him, & to surrender my unwillingness & ask for His help instead of avoiding it altogether.

And here comes the whole point of today’s post.

Sometimes God Asks Us Out of Our Comfort Zones to Teach Us That He Is Enough EVEN THERE

Sometimes God asks us to do things outside of our comfort zones (Moses is a great example of this because he kept saying, “But, I…”) & obey in faith. Faith in Whom? In HIM.

It is completely human nature to seek comfort… even if your comfort is living as a thrill-seeker (just fyi–NOT my comfort zone, haha), but feeling discomfort being still & quiet.

We cling to where & what & with whom we feel most comfortable.

But God wants us to learn to cling to HIM.

And Yet We Still Fight It. Why?

*Sigh* I know this & yet I still fight it.

I KNOW He has infinite wisdom & can impart it to me to help guide me in decisions, etc.

I KNOW He has limitless resources & can fulfill a need if I but ask, when seeking to live for Him.

I KNOW He created me & all things & is limitless, infinite, Almighty God.

And yet, I still cling to everything else right in front of me for what makes me most comfortable.

Trusting God with the unknown is scary, but living in fear is no real way to live when God offers us His perfect love to cast out that paralyzing fear.

Embrace Your Weaknesses As Reminders to Turn to Him for Help

I am learning (to try) to embrace feeling uncomfortable. Instead of freezing up or avoiding it altogether, I am learning to just stop & ask God for help in accomplishing it.

Here is an example of how I cling to Him in my urge to avoid discomfort:

“God, I don’t feel like doing my blog today. I know I am being lazy & just trying to get out of doing work so I can relax & avoid anything uncomfortable, but I still feel like ditching it for tv binge watching instead. I know that You put this blog on my heart as a way to encourage others toward the hope that can only be found in You, but I want lazy! Please help me adjust my attitude because I can’t seem to do it. Please help give me words of encouragement to point to You. Please motivate & encourage me. Help me get over this hump. I know You are infinitely more powerful than me. I know Your wisdom has no end. So please help me. Help me to honor You through this & help me to trust You when it’s easier to quit. AMEN.

Reaching Our Limits Leads Us to Need & Rely on HIM

It’s okay to reach the end of yourself. Every human is limited. Every human struggles with clinging to comfort.

But God is bigger than us. He can help us with His strength as we lean into Him.

So, lean into Him.

Learn to be comfortable in the discomfort, knowing that it is simply a reminder that He is right there, willing & able to help you live for Him & to live in a way that honors Him & brings Him glory.

Because He is enough. Always. 100%.

And here I am finishing my post for this week. NOT because I am a super self-motivated, self-disciplined person, but because I took my lazy, ready-to-quit attitude to Him & asked for His help.

Shine Hope by not shying away from (AKA avoiding) discomfort, but by facing it in HIS strength, wisdom, & power through asking for HIS HELP.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Petal Necklace (& Petal Stud Earrings)

This cubic zirconia floral pendant hangs from an antique golden chain and pairs perfectly with the Petal Stud Earrings.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Quick Thank You for Your Prayers

First of all, I want to thank you for your graciousness if you checked for my blog post last week & missed it. We had a sudden loss in our family & we are all still in an adjustment phase of life right now. I will share more when it is more appropriate, but please continue to pray for our family.

Pivot Moments

As you may know, I have been working through retelling major pivotal moments in my life where God shone through in the toughest of circumstances & different areas where He grew me beyond what I thought capable.

God is an awesome God. He is limitless & infinite & has unconditional love for us, demonstrated by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross to redeem us for our wrongs if we but ask.

This week, I am taking us a step back to share another amazing thing that came through the reading of “Authentic Beauty”, by Leslie Ludy.

Looking Back & Lessons Learned

I mentioned a couple weeks ago about the encouragement to destroy a stronghold that had been keeping me captive—keeping me from finding freedom & healing through the leaning into the strength, wisdom, & power of God.

I also mentioned the demonic attack that came after that decision & action, overshadowed completely by God making everything calm with a single thought. His power infinitely overpowers the worst Satan can try against us.

But this week, I wanted to share with you the spark that encouraged me into ministry.

He Makes Me Worthy

First, let me just say that I am no one extraordinary. I am not super disciplined. I am not the most eloquent speaker. I am not even sinless or temptation-free (no one is). I have made & continue to make my fair share of mistakes.

I am just a girl… A daughter of the King. Not because of anything I specifically deserve, but because of the redemption I have found in submitting to Christ.

I still have a naturally fleshly heart that wants to rebel & question & wander. I have to continually check myself & pray for God to rein me back in with His truth, love, & grace.

God created everyone with a God-designed purpose, but we often drown that out by listening to the world instead of leaning into Him.

Learning to Lean into God Above Myself

I am not good at leaning into Him. I am good at relying on myself & the wisdom I far too often rely on, based on human understanding versus the wisdom of our all-knowing, loving God.

I am to be taken with a grain of salt, checked against with Scripture Truth… a human with limitations, temptations, & continual failures.

But I am redeemed & I am learning (by leaning into God for help to do it) to trust God’s plan over mine… to let Him define me & not my own desires or understanding or scars… to let Him shape me into the woman He created me to be.

It was that spark of realization that began my journey of striving to a be a light for Christ in my life.

He Created You with Purpose, Too

And He can do the exact same for you. Because you are just as much created by Him with purpose as I am (flawed past, present, & future included).

He is just as capable of changing you from the inside out as He has & is doing with me.

God is the power behind the will & act of change (Hint: because of my strong will, I have to pray often for even the DESIRE to submit to this change & His purposes–& He is faithful to shape my heart. We don’t have to try to outwill ourselves without His help).

Lean into Him… Not me… Not yourself… Not others.

“Someone Else Can Do It”

I am not immune to the trends of culture. I long believed that it was always “the church’s” job to do the work within the church. But who is “the church”?

We are.

I always used to let everyone else do the ministry work, thinking that work was for pastors & “super spiritual” people. I was believing a lie born of the devil.

I was letting the devil convince me to sit on the sidelines, keep my mouth shut about the hope of Christ, treat church like a Christian country club, & let others do the heavy lifting.

I thought I wasn’t good enough to lead or to do much of anything.

But, God.

But God designed the church to work like a body, each serving a purpose to edify, lift up, encourage, & point others to the hope found only in Him.

Whether sharing the Gospel hope brought by Jesus Christ, cleaning up after others,  bringing meals to those suffering, helping with financial support, going out into the community to love & to serve, or leading a Bible Study… etc. etc. etc….

… Ministry isn’t just from a pulpit. It’s not a pastor only job. It’s a day by day living for Christ & being a light in the world for Christ. It’s leaning into Him & His Truth & being a living outpouring of that hope, truth, & love.

I Was Called… You Are Called

And when I finished reading that book, among a couple others I cannot recall, I realized that reality.

I, as an individual was… & YOU as an individual are… called to live for Christ… not to sit on the sidelines while the world despairs through their own human wisdom & understanding.

We’re in a war & we are too often letting the enemy dictate the rules of the battle instead of leaning into our Almighty God.

We need to join the church body, not just to do what is glamorous or fits what pleases us or makes us look good. We need to do what needs to be done.

I did not set out to run a blog, but followed the prompting of God’s leading to be a light in this world, but it started back then, with a spark to do more.

What is God calling you to? What is His design for you?

Take the time to pray it over & keep praying until it’s clear… & pray for the will to start praying, if that’s what it takes.

… & start by serving the church where you can.

Lean into God & let Him lead you. Shine HIS hope, through His power & wisdom.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side & off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Sometimes…

Sometimes, life isn’t so pretty. Sometimes, insecurities win. Sometimes, we let our desire to be good outweigh the good that God is actually calling us to do.

Whatever distractions are holding you back personally, my biggest one is doubt.

I always doubt whether my actions are led by a desire to feel or seem good, or whether they are actually led by God’s will.

Am I living to glorify myself or to glorify God?

Am I living to please man or to please God?

Am I living by my wisdom or God’s?

It is so hard to navigate some of these feelings & sometimes it makes us want to just quit & hide away in comfort. (At least, that’s how it makes me feel).

And Today…

Today, I struggled yet again with these doubts.

I don’t know all the answers. I don’t know whether God will empower me to continue this blog or to shut it down to go wherever else He may be calling me, but until I figure that out, I will keep seeking God’s direction & I will keep seeking to honor Him.

Letting My Heart Show

The following prayer resulted from brain fog. Every week seems like a battle of the will to show up & write a blog & I am constantly doubting whether it is God’s will or whether I am just trying to feel like I am doing good. (Or whether Satan is just trying to keep me from shining any light of hope into this world).

Please pray this openly & ask God to show you His will for Your life. Don’t settle for hiding. Don’t settle for less. Don’t let excuses rule your day. God is bigger. God is able.

My Prayer

“Dear God,

I am not worthy to write this blog. Why did this come in my path? Are you asking me to do this, or is it my way to not feel like I am wasting my life? I say I want to serve You, but does my life really display that as reality? Or am I just wanting to feel good about myself?

I don’t think I can do this blog. I don’t want to do this blog. I don’t feel like I have anything worthy to say that could do any real good in anyone’s life.

Is this Your way of telling me to quit the blog or is Satan trying to dim Your light in my life? It is easy for me to believe the latter because this seems like something that would honor You, but at the same time, I have so distanced myself from You over my years of bitterness that I don’t know if I can always accurately discern Your voice anymore.

I wonder sometimes if I should give up working with Trades of Hope, too, because I have failed so miserably in representing them & in supporting my team. I wonder sometimes if I should quit my Facebook page community because I am so scattered & not always professional & others seem to not even be interested in it. I want to quit this blog because I wonder what good I could realistically do for You.

I feel like a failure at everything I try to do for You. Does this mean You don’t want me doing it? Or are You trying to teach me to rely on You instead of myself?

Show me what You want from me. Make Your voice clear amidst the insecurities & fears & facing the unknown. Show me what YOU want from me.

I know that oftentimes, we like to jump to do good & claim that it’s Your will when You might have a completely different plan for us that we’re avoiding because we think we have already figured things out for You.

I don’t want that. I want YOUR will. I want to shine YOUR light. Not mine.

I feel so conflicted that I just want to slam my laptop shut & never try blogging again.

I want to quit Trades of Hope & blogging & doing LIVE videos & all of it.

I don’t want to feel this conflict anymore. It was easier when I did nothing.

I want to sit on the couch & try to tune out the hurts in the world. I want to stay in pjs & watch tv & try not to care. I want so badly to be comfortable!

But then it isn’t any easier when I do nothing because I feel the pain of seeing a hurting world pass me by & then knowing I am doing nothing to make it any better.

I am a mess. I don’t deserve to be used by You. I don’t deserve for anyone to listen to me.

I have scars & a past & insecurities & weaknesses & areas of intense pride & I struggle being gracious to the flaws of others & I constantly choose comfort over You or the people of this world that You love so much who are hurting so much.

I don’t deserve to be a part of anything You are doing in this world.

I just want to be used by You & I don’t know how.

I don’t know how, God. Please show me Your will.

I don’t want to just do things that make me feel good about myself. I want to do Your will. I want to follow Your call. I want to join in where You are already working.

Not my will, but Yours be done.

Whether I quit this blog or whether You ask me to continue writing & continue allowing myself to be vulnerable for all the world to judge. Shine through it. Even if you ask me to do something harder than this. Your will. Not mine.

I am tired of making excuses & hiding from what I don’t yet know or understand.

Be the Light & shine a path for me.

Use me how You will, God. Make me Your vessel. Shine through my brokenness. Make me Your ambassador.

Show me Your will.

I am tired of trying to force goodness. I am tired of fighting against my excuses. I am tired of trying to be strong on my own. I am tired of being dragged down by the idol of Comfort. I am tired of living for me. I am tired of fighting You.

True strength & power & wisdom & peace & GOODNESS comes from You ALONE. Help me to stop trying to create it on my own, in my own strength. Help me to submit & to draw near to You.

Whatever is holding me back from Your will, remove it. Wherever I am hiding away, expose it with Your Truth. Wash me. Cleanse me. Renew my heart & mind & draw me back to Yourself.

I want to know You. I want to serve You out of LOVE & devotion. I want others to know Your love through how I live & how I love others. I want to be self-disciplined & productive in Your kingdom. I want to serve others by expressing Your love for them. I want a real faith defined by real action. I want to know & love You more.

Don’t give up on me.

In Jesus’ Powerful Name,

Amen.”

The Truth

The Truth? I don’t have it all together. Satan tries to discourage me. But when that happens, I have a choice. I can either choose to give up & stay where I’m at… forever… OR, I can take those fears, those doubts, those insecurities, & everything else that tries to hold me back to GOD. Because that’s when the real change can happen. That’s where the power is. Don’t give up… Give it to God.

Shine Hope, Lovelies. And don’t you ever give up.

Coming Up

This Thursday is time for our Special Feature blog post for this month! Check back Thursday morning for Part 2 of “A Love Story”! To catch up with Part 1 before Thursday, read it here.

Also, as always, check back next Monday morning for more encouragement.

I am praying that this reaches the women it was meant for. God sees you, Lovely.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Warrior Cuff

Empowering Women in India Out of Poverty!

This brass gold, hammered, stacked cuff opens in the back.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Empire Earrings, made by artisans in India.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!