This Is What I am NOT Talking About…

I know some of you are not going to get what I’ve been talking about lately, in this recent series, but I also know there are some of you out there, like me, who will relate really hard to this.

(Catch up by reading my recent posts on this topic: “How I Let My Light be Dimmed,” “When Life Hits Me Hard, I Just Want Heaven,” & “Fixing My Focus.”)

This topic is not meant to preach a “you only live once, do what you want, follow your heart, live your best life, live a main character sort of life” vibe. (When I hear those things, I always think of the meme that says, “When someone says to ‘follow your heart’: ‘Thanks, Satan!'” The Bible warns us quite thoroughly that “following your heart” is a terrible idea.) (Jeremiah 17:9; Proverbs 3:5)

This topic is not meant to preach at you to not care what anyone says & not care how your words or actions may affect someone else… to live a you-centered life.

This topic is also not meant to preach that you will never have areas of which you need to do some personal work, even when it feels uncomfortable to admit/accept.

Be Careful Not to Throw It ALL Out… But PRAY

But what this topic-train I have been riding lately IS meant to communicate is that I should not take AS Scripture the opinions people have on me that the Holy Spirit has not impressed upon my heart already &/or that the Bible doesn’t specifically mention, & I do mean to include those things which are implied, as in, if God tells us to love others, we probably shouldn’t SPIT on them, even though the Bible does not specifically say not to ever spit on anyone. Get me?

It is wise to mention here that if something they mention stirs some guilt or shame in my heart, it would be a good idea to be willing to submit it to God for review, by praying & asking God if this is Him nudging a warning of need for change in this area, or if it is self-inflicted grief… in case God IS convicting my heart to change in an area that is different from how I grew up/learned.

Because, despite pure or misguided intent, God could use their words to draw attention to an area you have been holding back from Him, so don’t beat yourself up over it & don’t automatically dismiss it, either. PRAY about it.

But Please Stop Beating Yourself into a Hole Whenever Someone Comes at You

I mentioned the need to pray versus beating myself up. THAT is where I have been failing. THAT is where the hurt, dimming of my light, overwhelming need-to-please was birthed.

I need to learn to better separate the two.

Ie. Someone points something out… even judgy toward me… sticking their nose up at me, but not really thinking they’re intending to (self-righteousness is a sneaky bugger)… & instead of bowing it to God for review & trusting Jesus has paid in full for it already (aka no need for shame), I beat myself up over it as one more failure… one more reason why I am not good enough… one more reason why I am failing at being a “good Christian.”

I grow in timidity & fear instead of humility & confidence.

(*Read about that harmonious meant-to-be balance, here: “Confidence & Humility–The God-Honoring Balance.”)

Honor Someone’s Conscience–The Holy Spirit Could be Asking of Them Differently Than You

If someone thinks clothing standards (such as length or to show or not to show the shoulders, etc.) should be different than how you learned growing up, or whether certain silly words still count as curse words or not, or really anything that is different than how you learned or grew up believing….

Well, that is totally fine if they feel convicted about that & so do it to honor God… that is exactly what they should be wearing or what they should be abiding by, if this be the case… but EVEN IF they ARE doing it to be on a whole other level of spiritual (hint: it doesn’t work that way), or as an excuse to turn their noses up at me… well, I do not need to take that personally. (I also don’t need to be trying to convince them to stop personally doing it, in case it is indeed something God has put on their heart for a matter of surrender to Him.)

I CAN pray for them, though, that if they ARE doing it out of some legalistic intent (aka trying to earn their right to Heaven through being a “good” person), that God help them be set free from those chains.

We can’t go around judging everyone else, guys, even if what they believe doesn’t align with how we’ve always done it. Whether they’re “overly sensitive” or don’t seem to care “enough” based on the rules you grew up believing.

If it’s not sin–it’s not our place to judge.

We’re All a Work in Progress

We are all on this same journey of being very imperfect people, loved by a very perfect (holy) God.

We are all (all who have submitted their lives to Christ, by repenting/turning away from their sin life & turning to trust in Jesus Christ to both pay for their sins & to trust Him as LORD of their lives)… we are all in the process of being sanctified (being made more & more like Jesus, through cooperation with God’s work in our lives).

It’s a process. It’s one we will not complete on this side of heaven.

And it is one where we are all at different places in different areas of our hearts/lives.

Some have “mastered” one area, while they are still flailing about in another.

Some seem so weak in some areas, but are so matured in others.

There are so many things we get wrong every single day, that if God were to open our eyes to them all at once & say, “CHANGE! NOW! OR ELSE!” we would probably all just want to kill ourselves or die because the weight would be too much to bear. It would literally be impossible.

God Is Much Gentler with Us Than We Are with Each Other

God knows literally everything about us. Have you ever really stopped to think about the implications of that? He knows EVERYTHING.

But He, knowing EVERYTHING we could be working on… is gentle… is kind & patient… knows that Jesus already paid for it all. God is much gentler with us than we often are with each other.

That doesn’t mean I get a free pass to live however I want. But that DOES mean I don’t have to pretend God demands it all done, all at once, immediately. It means I don’t have to live in a constant state of beating myself up for all the ways I don’t measure up.

We’re harder on ourselves than He is. We’re harder on each other than He is.

That should not be.

Direct Sin Is Different!

Sure, if someone is directly sinning, God says we save a person by pulling him back from it. YES. (James 5:19-20)

And the speck versus log passage everyone seems to use as a “DON’T JUDGE ANYONE” verse, actually says, “UNTIL you have taken the log out of your own eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5)

We ought to encourage & urge one another toward holiness, YES. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

But pointing fingers at everything all the time is not accomplishing that, sister. It’s just not.

Don’t try to be the Holy Spirit to people on all the small stuff.

Let Him be HIM to them.

God Cares about Them, So PRAY for Them

If it really worries you THAT much, well, pray for your own heart, whether you have had some self-righteousness sort of sneak in there… that God help reveal it to you & humble you.

And pray for THEM, too. Pray that if you ARE right for feeling those things about whatever it is with them… that God reveal it to them.

Because guess what, God cares more about that person than He does about how long their shorts are. There, I said it.

Everything Is Permissible… But Not Everything Is Beneficial…

And there is so much more that we judge & are judged for, isn’t there? Stuff the Bible doesn’t say is a direct sin problem… more of a: “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial,” type thing, maybe? (1 Corinthians 10:23-33)

And maybe God has revealed to you that something is not beneficial to you & you have chosen to give it up. YAY! GREAT choice! But that doesn’t mean to now go on a crusade making sure everyone else around you also chooses that give it up.

How many permissible-but-not-beneficial things are we making into non-permissible things because it’s the way we grew up… things we have become self-righteous about unintentionally?

That is what I am talking about.

But also, don’t flaunt something you feel peace about around someone who struggles with it. Because, if it is something God has asked of them, you may tempt them to disobey God on that issue. Be careful. (1 Corinthians 10:23-33)

God Looks at the Heart… Man Looks at Outward Appearances (1 Samual 16:7)

God does not condemn dancing. He warns against tempting others or being sensual. (Ephesians 4:19)

God does not condemn shorts. He warns to be modest. (1 Timothy 2:9)

God does not condemn being artistic. HE is very creative & artistic. (Psalm 146:6)

God does not condemn worship music because it isn’t a hymn. He warns about doing things for appearance versus surrender. (Matthew 23:28)

Be careful setting up parameters that are not outlined by God Himself (in the Bible) & asking others to abide by them in order to “be pleasing to God.” Be careful speaking FOR God to others.

Be Careful Speaking as Biblical Standard What God Himself Has Not Spoken as Biblical Standard

Sometimes traditions are good. They set us up as reminders of all the goodness of God & His wonderful work & blessings. They help us commit to Him our all versus parts of us.

But, if we begin to worship our traditions, they can become empty & not what they were intended for, actually beginning to cause damage. Be careful. They can become divisive & condemning.

“It’s wrong because our church doesn’t do that,” is not the same as, “God says not to do that.” Be careful that you do not speak FOR God to others. Be careful you don’t place chains on someone He Himself didn’t command.

Fixing My Focus

As I mentioned last week in, “Fixing My Focus,” I want to take all of those chains off that I have allowed others to put on me over the years. That’s what this whole series has been about.

I want to honor & please God. I want to worship Him with all of me.

Lately, though, I have become drowned in everyone’s judgments & opinions that I allow to weigh down on me far too much.

I don’t want to live like that anymore. It’s stifling. It’s fearful timidity. It’s a fear to ever try because, “what if I don’t do it right?”

It’s not what God intended.

The Urgent Need to Stop Judging Others… Not What You Think…

Love others. (John 13:34) Exhort them to do good works. (Hebrews 10:24) Encourage them to submit & surrender more & more of themselves & their lives to live to honor & please God with all of them.

But please… stop judging.

Shine HOPE by praying for the people in your life you feel concerned for, by addressing direct SIN or sinful ATTITUDES you plainly see, by not being the Holy Spirit for anyone in your life—He is GOD ALMIGHTY… & Jesus paid for it already anyway, so you worry about you & go to God with it, making sure YOUR heart is right before God in your advice to & attitude toward others. And stop beating yourself up for what Jesus already paid for. Fail forward.

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