Let’s Shine Some Light in the Dark
Hello there, Beautiful.
Let’s take an opportunity to see things in new light. Let’s shine hope into a desperate situation. Let’s walk away from this with a new sense of hope for each new day, together.
Maybe…
If you are like me, maybe you feel a child-shaped hole in your heart.
Maybe you have spent countless hours with tears streaming your face, wondering why you can’t seem to have this child that your heart aches for so longingly.
Maybe you feel hurt by God, that maybe He is punishing you for your past or that maybe He just doesn’t trust you with a child.
Maybe you tell yourself you don’t need kids, just so that the bitter sadness doesn’t keep you from living each day. Maybe some days you realize this thing you tell yourself is a lie, & you cry.
Maybe you beg & plead & wonder if God can hear you.
Maybe you feel forgotten.
Maybe you feel as if your prayers go ignored or denied.
Maybe you wonder if God cares about this child-shaped hole in your heart.
Maybe.
If you are anything like me, a combination of all of those thoughts have drifted into or settled into your heart & mind.
This Doesn’t Feel Perfect
Maybe, like me, you have even felt guilt for being mad at God, for feeling like maybe He doesn’t care about your hurting heart. Maybe you feel guilt at your distrust in His plan.
You know He is perfect. You know His will is perfect. You know He is Good & He is Love.
And yet, this doesn’t feel perfect. This doesn’t feel good or loving at all.
And maybe that realization hurts your heart a little more than you’re willing to admit out loud.
Hope in the Darkness
But, Dear one, there is hope in the midst of this darkness. I promise you that.
I have been on a five-year journey of these emotions & thoughts plaguing the back of my mind. I have had five years of denial that my bitterness has grown in this hole in my heart, in place of trust in God’s perfect will, plan, Goodness, & love.
I don’t know if I am barren. I am told that everything looks good & we are cleared by the doctors for having a baby, & yet five years of attempts have left us childless.
I have had tests & ultrasounds & taken supplements to help… & yet nothing.
I have obsessed over temperature charting & ovulation testing… & yet nothing.
I have cried & begged God to answer my heart’s cry… & yet nothing.
For God’s Glory
I even wanted a child for the main purpose of raising them to be a light of God’s hope into this world… wanting to glorify God & train the child(ren) how to live a life that honors & glorifies Him so that hope will continue flowing into the next generation, long after I am gone… & yet nothing.
I have felt betrayed by a seeming lack of God’s love & favor. Watching my friends pop kids out continually while I am left… the barren woman.
I am able to push aside my hurt most often to celebrate the new lives being born into the homes of my family & friends, but the ache still lingers.
God Shines Light into the Darkness
But here is the hope, Beautiful one.
In reading through the current Bible study I am attending weekly (& working through the corresponding homework each day for the study), I came across something I had never seen before.
The study is Beth Moore’s “Breaking Free.”
The Dreams of Little Girls
In this particular study book, Beth Moore has a whole week dedicated to the dreams of little girls: to get married, be beautiful, have children (or, be fruitful), & to live happily ever after.
That pretty much nails it on the head for all of my girlhood dreams.
But here was her point… each of us have these childhood dreams that we long(ed) for, but that God can satisfy infinitely more than this world can.
Just a Shadow
It is a shadow of the deeper longing of our hearts. It is a hint of what God already promises us.
To get married–we want to feel loved & special & wanted… God fulfills this by loving & cherishing us more than we can ever comprehend. If you don’t believe me, He tells us it’s true & He will show you… Just have faith enough to ask Him to.
To feel beautiful—He thinks we are gorgeous because He created us! And when our time comes, as believers in Christ, to go to heaven, He sees us as His beautiful bride! (also satisfying our marriage desire).
To live happily ever after—(I am purposely skipping to have children (be fruitful) until the end)—but to live happily ever after points to the fact that this earthly existence is merely our temporary home. Sin has marred this world, but heaven will be amazing & beyond imagination! No tears! No sadness! Only joy & love & peace. A TRUE happily ever after!
To Have Children (Or, Be Fruitful)
And back to our childhood dream to have children (or, to be fruitful).
And this really struck me with God’s amazing provision & plan. It showed me His will & Goodness really is perfect. And His love is lacking NOTHING. Praise God!
In Beth’s section about dreaming to have children, Beth spoke to my soul by spending a majority of the lesson addressing barrenness.
There is Hope
Beth didn’t shy away from the hurt that comes with barrenness, but she did point to Scripture & the amazing reality that God has not forgotten us in our temporary (or permanent) inability to have children.
Beth started by having us read about Elizabeth. The Bible called Elizabeth a righteous woman, followed immediately with the fact that “& she was barren.” (Check it out in Luke 1:5-7.)
Then, Mrs. Moore paralleled the Old & New Testaments’ discussion on being fruitful. In the Old Testament, fruitfulness referred to making lots of babies, while in the New Testament, it often referred to being fruitful as spreading your faith in order to lead others to become new Christ-believers!
You see, while God mentions many times how children are a blessing from God & how they are gifts… & while God often talks about leading your children to follow & trust Him… He ALSO spends a significant time talking about sharing the hope of Christ!
Even More!
AND… in Isaiah 54 (you really should stop & go read that right this moment), God says that a barren woman is able to have more children than a married woman. WHAT?
You see, when those who are blessed with children are raising those children, life is a little crazy (in a good way, even if sometimes so difficult), & most of a mom’s time & energy is spent pouring into those little children to raise them to be Christ followers.
But those of us who have no children have a beautiful opportunity.
You see, we can have more “children” than a married woman because while they are raising theirs, we can pour into those women who in turn pour into their own children!
And we can pour into other barren women who in turn can pour into the lives of others!
How great of an opportunity we have to pour hope into all surrounding women & children!
Talk about fruitful!!!
God Forgives! God Never Forsakes Us! God is Good! God is LOVE!
You see, God forgave me for my past when I repented & turned to Him. He forgave me IN FULL. He is not punishing me!
God does not forsake us… He has not forgotten me!
God is GOOD. He knows my heart to raise a child to honor & glorify Him long after I am gone & He is giving me opportunity to do that in an even greater way!
God is LOVE. He knows my heart cry & my longing… & He is giving me a way!!
Lovely, consider these things with me. How wonderful & loving & Good our God is!
He Loves You
He loves you.
He loves YOU.
He. Loves. You.
HE LOVES YOU!!!
Let that sink in for a moment. Read those last few lines again.
Close your eyes with me for a moment. Take a deep breath in… & then out. And let that Truth sink into the crevices of your pained heart.
Let His love wash over you & pour into those deep crevices of pain.
Let His goodness & mercy shine into the dark corners of your heart.
He’s Got a Plan… And It’s a GOOD One!
TRUST God.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
We may not know His timing. We may not see the fruit. But we can trust that He has a good plan with a good outcome. We can trust His love & we can trust His grace & goodness.
For His Love Endures Forever. Amen.
In whatever place you find yourself right now, Lovely, shine Hope. Always shine hope.
Grace & peace be to you from Christ Jesus, our LORD.
Amen.
Coming Next Week
Two blog posts are coming next week!
Monday will be our next regularly scheduled post of encouragement for your week & Thursday will be our Special Feature for this month!
Make sure to check back with me & hopefully I can pour some encouragement into your beautiful self.
A Note from Michelle:
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Weekly Special Spotlight:
Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Avalon Earrings
Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!
Made with brass & then silver-plated, these statement earrings are a nod to our Indian artisans’ culture.
Artisan Information:
The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!
Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!
(*Other accessories are from previous catalogs & are no longer available)
Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
