Redeeming the Narrative

Okay, let’s take a moment to kick Satan out of this conversation. He has too long written the narrative for mental illness & it is about time we take it back & place it under our loving ALMIGHTY God.

So, if you are no stranger to my blog, then you know by now that I talk about my battle with depression—a lot—how it has shaped me, how it torments me in some seasons of my life, & how God has used it in my life to make Himself & His love known to me.

But something I have not really addressed, at least not with much detail, is how to parse through a life with mental illness & come out with victory versus defeat. So, let’s redeem the narrative.

Victory In, After, & Through

Now, I am not talking only about victory after the fact… you know, the struggle & fight & maybe eventual crash that God uses to show Himself sovereign, in control at all times, faithful, full of grace & love, & His ever willingness to turn any bad in my life for His glory AND my good… But victory IN & THROUGH the struggle as well!

For me, this seems to be an occasion for a good eye roll. “In & through the struggle” means the struggle is still going on, so how can that mean any victory is happening at all???

But hang with me & let’s flesh this out so that if you struggle with a mental illness (or any illness, really) or whether you simply know someone with that struggle… then you know how to have wise discernment in it, you know how to pray through it, & you know you don’t HAVE to give in to it—you CAN have victory IN & THROUGH it!

Our Struggle or Sin Does Not Define Us

First of all, we need to recognize that one of the cunning tactics of the devil is that he loves to take our struggles with sin or our circumstances & wrap them into our identity.

Satan does this with homosexuality, for example, as we can clearly see in our culture today. God gave me the discernment to see there are no “homosexuals” only PEOPLE. Some people PRACTICE homosexuality & some don’t, but all are PEOPLE—an important distinction!

The same is becoming true with regard to mental illness. “I struggle with mental illness” is becoming an identifier for ourselves.

This isn’t necessarily sinful, but rather a way we learn how to relate to the world & accept our limitations, but Satan is not without his tricks & cunning manipulations.

When we begin to IDENTIFY as “one who struggles with ________________ mental illness,” we can fall into the trap of limiting ourselves along with the limitations that illness creates within us… & limiting God right along with it!

The Five Parts

So, today, I want to break apart this issue of depression (or mental illness) into the 5 separate parts involved in how we identify mental illness (cause, symptoms, consequences of symptoms, Satan’s exploitation of those, & our CHOICE in how we respond to it all) & help us understand mental illness with discernment so we do not have to feel controlled by it.

I want to break mental illness into five parts—I will be using depression as my example, since that is my personal struggle, but this can be applied to any limitation you face mentally or physically.

Parts 1-3 (Cause, Symptoms, & Consequences of Symptoms)

First, consider the actual, medical problem that exists, also known as the cause—for example, depression can mean that your body does not properly regulate how much serotonin or dopamine is released in your body.

So, secondly, because your body does not produce or regulate well its proper levels of these chemicals in your brain… the symptoms, or the second part of depression, are what results from this lowered or unregulated release of these chemicals in your brain. The symptoms may include sluggishness, feeling tired or checked out or numb to goings on around you. You can feel a lack of energy or excitement.

And now, the third part would be the consequences of the symptoms… maybe not being as engaging, cheerful or personable, tasks seeming more difficult to complete, you don’t feel happiness in accomplishing tasks, making simple tasks feel complicated, frustrating, &/or difficult. In short, life feels HARD even in situations where those things may typically seem simpler or easier for us or others.

Part 4-Satan’s Exploitations of Our Weak Spots

Here is where we typically go wrong in how we determine what IS depression or mental health: Satan’s exploiting those symptoms & consequences, using our limitations & insecurities.

These manipulating exploitations often feed off of insecurities or poor reactions from others & sound similar to: “you are no fun at social gatherings, so just stop going & just avoid people altogether-who cares about them anyway, you don’t need them.” Or “You annoy everyone with your symptoms, so they would be better off without you,” or “everything is hard all the time because you’re a failure of a human being, so just quit already.”

These are twistings of the truth & that is Satan’s specialty. He is cunning & has had a lot of practice. He knows where to hit us & how to kick us when we’re down. He is a liar. (John 8:43-44)

Part 5-The Choice

But that is where part #5 comes in: WE HAVE A CHOICE IN HOW WE RESPOND.

We can either A.) believe Satan’s lies, cave under the weight, & just give up trying because everything just feels hard & quitting just feels like the easier &/or only option.

OR, B.) we can CHOOSE to DETERMINE to cling to God as our hope, our strength, & our comfort. This one takes a humbled, surrendered heart for God’s help to replace our desire for self-sufficiency.

My Cravings for Self-Sufficiency… But… God

I get it. I struggle EVERY time with this choice. I crave easy. I crave comfort. Easy & comfort are some of my main idols in life that I wrestle regularly. It seems SO MUCH EASIER to just be like, “screw it. It’s too hard. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t have it in me to always have it this hard ALL THE TIME!”

BUT… God.

I like to feel capable & in control. I like to feel like “I got this!” & move with confidence that I can handle anything life throws at me… that I can figure it out & work past it & do okay.

But depression reminds me that this isn’t real. I am NOT enough. I DON’T have enough strength. I WANT to quit. I WANT to be capable in & of MYSELF, but I’m NOT!

But… God.

I Am Not Meant to be Self-Sufficient

I’m not meant to be self-sufficient. I was made (& you were made) to have God be our sufficiency. WE WERE MADE TO NEED HIM.

And that’s hard for me, to be honest. It’s really hard.

I don’t like feeling weak. I don’t like SIMPLE tasks feeling SO DANG HARD. I don’t like struggling. I don’t like not being enough. I don’t like when things don’t wrap up all neatly with a nice pretty bow on top.

Depression brings me to the end of myself quite frequently & I quit… a lot.

But when I make a pattern of quitting, Satan knows his tricks well… they seem easier… they seem better… they may even seem like the only option left… but continuing to quit leads to darker & dimmer & a spiral of despair that leads to a darkness so thick you don’t even know how to get out anymore… & Satan knows it.

But… God.

With God, There Is ALWAYS Hope

God can get you out of that darkness you don’t know how to find your way out of… But He can help you well before that, too.

But it takes humility. I’m not going to lie to you… Humility & surrender is HARD, but not as hard as giving up will end up being.

I have to be willing to accept my weakness… my limitations… the HARD, take them to God, & say:

“God, please help me. Help me discern the lies of Satan so he can’t trick me anymore. Don’t let me follow him. Help me cling to You. Help me trust You to be my enough. Humble me to accept YOU as my strength when I have none. To trust You as sufficient in my struggle. To trust You as my comfort. Teach me HOW to do that. I don’t want to live according to Satan’s tricks anymore. I want to choose You—I want to choose LIFE. You are my LIFE. You breathe life into me, so please do that now. Bring joy where I only feel pain. Bring Your strength where I only feel weakness. Help me to praise You IN this. Don’t let me retract into loneliness. Help me give grace to my family & friends because I don’t understand why everything is so hard—it doesn’t make sense to me how it can be this hard—so how can I expect them to understand? Forgive me for my anger at them for not understanding. Forgive me for wanting my control back, for wanting to feel capable & self-sufficient. Help me slump into You. Help me grasp hold of Your hand. Help me trust You against every odd. You are enough for me. Help me to remember that You are enough for me. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!”

Understanding Depression with Discernment

Hard doesn’t have to equal bad… it’s just hard… & that’s okay, because HARD allows us a reminder that we are not enough & to look to Him who IS.

Hard allows us the miraculous insight into the grace & love & comfort & peace & strength & faithfulness & HOPE of God. WHAT AN UNCOMPARABLE GIFT!!!

And check this: Easy doesn’t always mean GOOD. And don’t let Satan convince you otherwise. God calls him the father of lies for a reason. (John 8:43-44)

Don’t define yourself or others by an illness, instead, consider the 5 parts so you know how to ask God for help & how to discern where Satan may be trying to exploit your symptoms & the consequences of those symptoms. God is greater still!

Shine HOPE by CLINGING to God & HIS Truth, HIS comfort, HIS strength, HIS peace, HIS faithfulness, HIS love, & HIS grace, even when you can’t seem to find any of that within yourself.

HE. IS. ENOUGH.

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