We All Have Trauma of Sorts… But We Also Have a Choice…
We cannot always control our circumstances… but we can always control our response.
All of us have trauma of some sort, whether it was unkind words that stuck, or bullying, or a tough childhood, or loss, or betrayal or injury or witnessing something awful. So many other things as well.
And we may downplay it, as if it isn’t actually trauma because we think it may not be as bad or as extreme as someone else’s trauma, but if it has had a negative impact on how you view yourself, others, life, or God… it’s trauma.
It’s important, I think, to dig up that trauma & face it/deal with it. Not to rehash it or grow in bitterness, but to avoid stuffing it or avoiding it when what we ought to be doing is turning it over to God by praying through it & finding healing in it… moving forward in freedom versus hiding from it in fear.
We have no control over our past, but we do have full control on how we respond to it.
Talk about TRAUMA
Other than Jesus, Joseph is my favorite example of this attitude of choosing to respond rightly even in the midst of just absolutely terrible circumstances.
(***You can read this gut-wrenching story laced with grace & honor & a trust in God that rose above every harsh circumstance, in its entirety, in Genesis 37-50. Easily one of my favorite stories told about in the Bible.***)
Most adored by his father (don’t show favoritism parents, just don’t do it), hated by his brothers because of it, Joseph was thrown into a deep pit to be left trapped to die by his brothers who resented him.
His eldest brother thought to just scare him, leave him in the pit (allegedly to die) so he could secretly free him later… but when big brother left the scene, the rest of the brothers decided they would make more profit from their hatred by SELLING their own brother, Joseph, into slavery.
Hated, thrown in a pit, his life threatened… to being sold as a slave by his very own flesh & blood.
That’s brutal.
He Couldn’t Control His Circumstances… But He Still Chose to Respond Rightly
But, did Joseph lash out & blame a poor response on all of that trauma he had most definitely just experienced?
The Bible doesn’t say. What it does say is that he did his very best at being a slave, serving his master honorably. So much so that his owner took notice that God was literally blessing & flourishing everything Joseph was put in charge of doing or managing.
Then, that same master who praised him & gave him power over ALL of the workings of his household had a wife who got mad that Joseph refused her advances in order to show respect & honor to his master, her husband. So, he got imprisoned because the angry, rejected, & likely embarrassed wife accused him wrongly of attempting indecency with her.
Joseph Kept His Eyes above the Storm… He Trusted GOD
But, did Joseph lash out & blame all of that trauma for it?
Again, the Bible doesn’t say. But it does say that he did his very best at being a prisoner, & that much like his recent master, the prison guard witnessed the very same thing about God obviously blessing everything he set his hand to & therefore put him in charge of the other prisoners. Like, what?
Not exactly how I would initially respond, that’s for sure. I would be demanding my rights!
Joseph understood–He couldn’t always control his circumstances… but he could for sure always control his response.
And let’s not neglect to mention that he felt so sure in his right responses because of one very important thing… he trusted that God had a plan & that God was in control in all of it somehow–even through all of that horrible trauma he had experienced.
Trauma Hurts… But it Doesn’t Define Us… & It Doesn’t Need to Control Us… & We Still Have a Choice in How We Respond to It…
I can’t say my sisters have ever hated me, but they for sure have never plotted to push me into a pit & leave me for dead (not to my knowledge anyway), nor have they ever sold me into slavery.
I’ve for sure been falsely accused & misunderstood & been lied about many times in my 41 years, with some just not feeling concerned with clearing the air, seeking reconciliation, or hearing my side of the story… content to dislike me for whatever they believe to be true about me–that kind of thing hurts, doesn’t it? But I’ve never been to prison for it like Joseph.
I have had plenty of very unkind things said to or about me that still ring in my head from time to time. I have been bullied, mocked, betrayed, & ostracized.
I have lived in an area of Japan where English wasn’t spoken much aka so much isolation, been through a pandemic of even more prolonged isolation, & have survived a once-in-20ish-years super typhoon of mass destruction. I have witnessed a whole lot of very real pain of people I care a whole lot about.
The Hurts Are Real… But So Is My God
I have wrestled through seasons of deep depression throughout my life, where suicidal thoughts were near daily & have gone through intense seasons of loneliness when I was in a place where I couldn’t seem to make any connections despite my efforts… where isolation was a very real reality for me.
It may not be the type of trauma that everyone can relate to or understand. It may not be as severe as a cancer diagnosis or losing a loved one… but trauma it is all the same.
And I couldn’t choose whether any of it happened to me.
But I can choose how I respond to it.
I can trust (& now see) that God always sees the future & has a plan & WILL always use every traumatic experience BOTH for my good & for His glory. Always. Every single time He has done so.
God Never Wastes Our Traumatic Experiences
Whether it is to strengthen my character or teach me compassion or give me personal perspective over the struggles of others so that I know how to better relate & be with them in it/through it. Whether it’s to see Him come through for me over & over & over again so that my trust in Him would solidify… so that it could anchor my soul… so that I could know rest in Him is possible despite the circumstances.
To see that the impossibilities He promises, through Him, are actually possible.
We need to take every opportunity to look for how we can trust God above all of our circumstances, honoring Him over self in all of our circumstances, knowing He has a plan & has it all figured out & knowing we just have to be good stewards of what we’ve got right now—through the good, the bad, & even the horrible.
Because God never wastes our traumatic experiences.
Think Like Joseph…
Even if a family member threatens your life.
Even if you were to get sold into slavery by your own family.
Even if you work hard & do your very best, only to have people accuse you of doing something you would never dream of doing… not leaving any room for reconciliation or hearing your side of the story.
Even if you are thrown into prison for a crime you never committed.
Even if you are hated & scorned, spit on & beaten, wrongly accused & everyone wants you dead. (Isaiah 53)
Even if you came to give your life for theirs but all they do is scream for your death. (1 Peter 2:24) (Luke 23:20-25)
Even if no one understands you.
Even if you feel alone in this life.
Even if the hard doesn’t ever seem to stop.
We just can’t blame our trauma.
We have to choose to respond in a way that gives God honor anyway, trusting that God has a plan every step of this very hard way. Trusting He will provide a way through it all with His help, every step.
Where Have You Allowed Your Trauma to Call the Shots in Your Own Life?
Where’s the stronghold in your own life?
What are you allowing to run the narrative?
What are you using as an excuse for inaction, for a bad attitude, for doubting God, for simmering in bitterness, for closing yourself off from others…? What excuse are you using?
Do you need to pray & ask God to help you better honor Him despite your poor circumstances?
Do you need to pray & ask God to help you trust that He will always have a plan & that He will always use every awful circumstance both for your good & for His glory?
Shine HOPE by recognizing why we can’t blame trauma… by choosing to give God glory & honor anyway, despite it… by choosing to trust that God is ultimately in control no matter how bad the current circumstances may be… by choosing to trust that God has a plan that you may not see, a plan that is 100% always both for your good & for His glory.
AMEN & AMEN.
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Daisy Gift Set (INDIA)
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