Always the Romantic

I enjoy watching quippy romantic comedies & classic animated princess movies. I was always a sucker for a good love story & I couldn’t wait to have one of my own. I was always a romantic with my rosy glasses & dreams of the married life… dreams of feeling loved & accepted by a guy who was head over heels in love with me.

But something I fear has happened in a culture saturated with this genre of movies—we almost subconsciously believe that the “happily ever after” implies that once you find your “prince charming” & once you work through your struggles or whatever the specific trial is in the storyline of your relationship, all’s good from here on out as you enjoy forever wedded bliss.

And then sitcoms go & show marriage to be a joke almost, like misery is just an expectation, divorce is inevitable, & there is absolutely no way to feel satisfied & happy in marriage. And a sex life? Ha. Forget it, right?

So there becomes this conflict between expecting that once you work through your differences, everything should go perfectly, & that when it inevitably doesn’t, well, “that’s just marriage for ya.”

We Are Complex People

I talked on social media yesterday about how complex we are as people & how it’s often that we like to label people, even subconsciously as: “a nice guy/girl,” “a rude person,” “an angry person,” “an annoying person,” etc. because it just helps us in quickly determining whether we like or dislike, trust or distrust someone… a way we protect ourselves instinctively.

But I go through seasons where you’d probably feel like warning others about me: “she complains ALL THE TIME,” “she gave into temptation & dishonored God,” “she seems to be struggling all the time, she’s a mess,” “she overshares,” “she’s awkward.”

I have seasons where I am moody & selfish & just want to take care of me first. I have seasons where I doubt God’s way & choose my own. I have seasons where I feel all hope is lost. I have seasons where I trust in the blessings given to me by God more than the God Who gave me those blessings. I have seasons where I am giving & kind. I have seasons where I am courageous & confident.

I can’t be summed up by a simplistic generalization.

Humans Choose Wrongly Sometimes

I don’t stop being a flawed human with a sinful human nature that wars with my spirit when I accept Jesus’ payment for my sins on the cross. I don’t become perfect.

I still have to choose to submit to the work & leading of the Holy Spirit in my life.

Just like Job, as he questioned God in his deep pain & tragedy.

Just like Jonah as he ran away from God’s directions.

Just like Abraham, as he listened to his wife’s terrible plan to “help” God fulfill His promise to them for a child.

Just like David as he didn’t avert his gaze but gave into sexual temptation & then followed it through by having the woman’s husband killed to cover it up.

I am still human. I am saved from my sin, guaranteed to go to heaven… but I still require His DAILY grace & to DAILY submit to HIS leading, wisdom, & strength in my own humanness.

Well, guys… the same is true in marriage.

You Married Another Human… Of Course There Will be Struggles

If you feel frustrated with your spouse, you are far from alone in that, because you, my dear… married another human being.

Just like me, when I can be a grump. I can be selfish & self-centered. I can be a complainer. I can be tempted to throw in the towel & just give up. I can cry & struggle a lot sometimes & seem like a huge burden. I can struggle with anger & resentment. I can choose to sin by denying God’s promised way out.

I am a lot. And so are we all at times, if we’re willing to be honest with ourselves.

That is why we can understand how it is such an extremely undeserved blessing of what Jesus did on that cross for us, right?

That is why marriage is so hard in some seasons. Especially when we fixate on what frustrates us rather than pray/extend grace. (Grace, by definition, is undeserved.)

The Necessity of Building a Marriage upon GRACE

Giving grace is absolutely a necessity in marriage. But giving grace is also one of the hardest things in the world to extend to another person sometimes. Jesus gave His life to give us grace.

Habits may annoy you. Seeming lackadaisical about something that means so incredibly much to you can frustrate the snot out of you. Grumpy moods or bad attitudes, especially when you have a headache or are having a bad day yourself can make you want to throw down.

We see the worst of each other. We see the weaknesses, the failures, the bad habits, the lazy days, the lack. We see their humanity better than anyone else. Friction is imminent.

That is why it is so vital that we take all of those things, whenever they may arise, & bow them to Jesus… asking God to give you the perspective & strength & peace to extend grace… to bring healing to your heart where sometimes it feels impossible… & by refusing to feed your desire to fuel the fire you feel is so rightfully needing to be fueled in that moment. GRACE.

You Don’t Struggle Alone–Looking to God in Your Marriage

Don’t let Satan trick you into believing your marriage is beyond saving because of these things… that the annoying habits are just “too much,” or that you can’t get past them… or that either divorce or unhappiness is inevitable in every marriage… that “it will be different” in a new marriage….

But also, don’t let Satan trick you into believing that marriage does not require much grace all along the way. Much prayer & submission to God to be the glue & the bridge when rifts threaten to pull you apart for good.

God CAN where you can’t. God CAN do the impossible. Dare to try Him on that. Dare to trust Him more than you trust yourself.

Shine HOPE by giving your spouse grace upon grace & by always remembering to turn to God as your daily hope, wisdom, & strength to hold your marriage together strong & to continue growing your marriage into a better physical representation of God’s great & undying love & grace for us, through Jesus Christ.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for SIX years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Noa Marquise Set (INDIA)

Bundle and Save – Available while supplies last! This beautiful necklace set includes the Noa Necklace and the Chery Marquise Necklace to create a stunning layered look. Each necklace is made by women earning a dignified income in India.

***Purchase the Noa Marquise Set to create safe jobs for women ending poverty cycles in India.***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!