Grief Is Hard…
Today has been a rough day, if I’m completely honest. Our kitty cat of almost 13 years, Cisco, passed away April 30, on a Thursday morning.
That Thursday held a lot of tears & grief. Friday was hard, too, because I work with kids & they who often lack tact were constantly asking about him… (way too much for a mere 24 hours after losing him). I also tried cleaning up his stuff & had to stop because by the first room done, I felt like I had just erased him from that space entirely. Too soon.
By Saturday, I recognized my fear of praying for help through the grief. I was afraid of just picking myself up, brushing myself off, & moving on as if he no longer mattered, as if forgetting he ever existed & moving on without him. But I expressed that to God. God helped me find a balance between reminiscing versus crumbling whenever I missed him. Honoring his long-lasting presence in our home… while letting it bring a smile versus hurt & heaviness.
It Comes in Waves
But a couple times since then, something has really triggered a memory of him & I just lose it.
Today, it was me facing the stress of an upcoming thing for which I would usually just scoop him up & keep him near me as motivation, & just it really hitting me that I will be facing it without him this time. I really didn’t want to.
The hardness of the realization just really hurt hard today. He has been so woven into our schedule & home that it just doesn’t feel normal with him no longer apart of any of it.
I just want him back.
So Busy… Getting Overwhelmed by It All
And I don’t feel great. The stress has been real… more things to do than I have time for… external pressures coming in strong. Feeling overwhelmed, too much to do… too little time… no kitty snuggles to bolster me through it.
The emptiness in that reality hurts me.
Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes it hurts really, really bad. And yes, maybe you don’t get the pain of losing a pet, getting to know their personalities & them wanting to be in your presence at all times, living as your furry unconditionally-loving shadow, sleeping alongside you whenever they can, all that… but I am sure you can, in some form, relate to the pain grief brings.
Are You Willing to Worship God Because Things Are Going Well… Or Because He Is Worthy?
And here is the question: “Are you willing to worship God when things are going well? Or because He is worthy?”
On a Sunday morning, on a good day, it is easy to sing along with the praise team. On an especially great day, worship just seems to flow effortlessly from our heart, lifting up to Him….
But what about on the hard days? What about when your heart is crumbling, defeat overwhelms you… you feel hurts hurdling at you from every side.
Do you praise Him then? Or do you struggle to understand how you could possibly praise Him?
Do you praise Him every day, even on the mundane days? Even when you’re not at church? Every day because He is worthy of your praise?
Or only when it flows easily? Only when things are going well & you feel like you’re on the mountaintop rather than the dark valleys?
Praising Him IN the Storm
I am reminded of God’s response when crying out to Him after being attacked by an animal back in early 2022, I believe it was.
I am reminded of God’s repeated response when I kept asking him for courage in facing the super typhoon that “brushed by” Guam & seemed to never leave… leaving destruction & discomfort & the unknown in its wake.
The same response He gives me every time I feel like I am drowning in life & I cry out to Him for help.
“Worship Me.” “Praise Me.”
God is still on the throne. God is still in control. God will not waste a single tear. God is enough even when we are nothing & have nothing. God is worthy to be praised even when we feel like we have nothing left & like the world is falling apart around us… no matter the cause of it.
God is in control. God is worthy to be praised.
Where Is Your Heart on This Topic? Do You Need to “Pray & Repent & Be Humbled in [Your] Worship…” of Him?
I have mentioned this before & this will likely not be the last time I mention this, but I remember hearing an interview with a worship pastor at a church, who was asked, “Is it hard to lead praise & worship on your hard days, when you’re struggling with having a right attitude?” His response was something to the tune of:
“No, those are actually my favorite days to lead… because I am forced to recognize how unworthy I am to sing His praises, how unworthy I am to worship our great King… how much I need His help every single day… how undeserving I really am to be in His presence. I pray & repent & am the most humbled in my worship on those days.”
What an encouragement. What a realness, as we all struggle with right attitudes some days. What a conviction.
Humble Your Heart before Him, Even on Your Terrible Days… & Lift Your Voice in Praise to Our God Who Is Worthy… Regardless of Any Circumstance in Which You May Find Yourself
Do you need to adjust your mindset about worship? Do you need to learn the habit of moving it even outside the walls of your church building, into your every day?
Do you need to repent? Do you need to be reminded of His great worthiness, despite your circumstances?
Are you willing to worship God because things are going well… or because He Is worthy?
“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)
***He is waiting for you… will you come?:***
***(Romans 3:23; Romans 5:8-10; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 10:9-10; John 14:6)***
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Marina Bloom Earrings, Handcrafted in India!
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