It Has Been So Long…
Well, it’s been a week…. Boy, has it been a week….
If you’re new here, welcome… & for those of you who don’t know what’s going on, I’d like to give a little update glimpse into the Hyde life right now.
A week ago tomorrow, my hubby Jamie & I moved from Guam to Orlando, FL.
We moved to Guam way back in 2012, lived there 3 years, moved to Hokkaido, Japan for 3 years, Misawa, Japan for 4 years, then back on Guam for 4.5 ish years. It has been quite the international adventure…. In other words, we moved international 3 months after getting married & then, over the course of 14.5 years, we never came back stateside permanently… until last week.
It’s finally happened–we’re back.
They Don’t Make It Easy Coming Back after Being Gone So Long
I have shared a lot on this blog over the past 8 years of the adventures & challenges of living abroad as expats, but never did I think it would be so difficult finally coming back.
All processes expect you to have something or other already established upon arrival—whether military or moving from another state… maybe already owning a car or whatever the case. But we don’t fit any of the categories. We are starting basically fresh… & no one here seems to know what to do with that.
Panic has been rising in me subtly, but surely this past week with all of the unexpected obstacles we have faced trying to reintegrate living stateside.
Everything seems to hinge on one pivotal piece—finding a home to live in FIRST.
The Insufferable Dichotomy–Rush or Wait….
But… we’re really wanting a forever home, not a just good enough home. & we don’t want to have to move fully into a house temporarily only to have to do it all over again once we find a home—moving is HARD work already just doing it ONCE! (Of course, ultimately, it’s wherever God ends up giving us peace about, because otherwise we won’t feel comfortable moving forward with it regardless of preference.)
This sense of urgency & a ticking timeline contrasted with wanting to wait on the right fit for us is just rattling me little by little, I can feel it bubble up sometimes. The panic, the uncertainty… the not knowing.
God Knows & I Wish He’d Tell Me Already… Or Do I?
But I am reminded that God already knew all this. I sure don’t… but He does anyway.
He doesn’t always let me in on His plan—don’t you find that frustrating sometimes? Because I do.
I mean, if He could just give me a heads up, or a hint, then I would see it & feel satisfied, right?
Okay, so I would probably most likely try to step in & speed up the timeline a bit & “help” it along a little faster. (Think: Abraham & Sarah were promised a kid & a whole massive family line stemming from them, but it didn’t happen when they thought reasonable, so they just decided to have Abraham sleep with their servant to “help God’s plan along”—didn’t work out too well for them in that, did it?)
No, God doesn’t always tell me. I think because He knows that the point is not me seeing the path so I stop freaking out… but that I start seeing Him so I stop freaking out. Not the end of struggle, but rather the control He still has in the struggle.
God Spoke to Me a Little Bit at Church This Morning
… Funny how you go to church & the sermon seems to be about you. Has that happened to you before?
We decided to look up a recommended church in Orlando, & because we don’t know yet which end of Orlando we’ll end up, we watched online.
The pastor was talking at me (I mean, not literally… but it sure felt like it)… he EVEN mentioned “maybe you have recently moved from another town… another state? Maybe even from across the world?” Well, yes… ME.
The pastor then talked about the grief of leaving parts of your world behind—people, potential future there, things you know & are familiar with… change… going into the unknown…. Well, ALSO me.
God saw my heart. And God spoke through a man I have never met, the pastor, right to my heart. Isn’t God great like that? Thank You, GOD!
And I am reminded again that He sees me. He hasn’t lost track. He hasn’t stopped having a plan.
God Saw Them… & God Had Worked out a Plan They Could Not Yet See
The message in the sermon we listened to this morning talked about Ruth & Naomi, in Ruth, chapter 1. All that hardship in the famine, leaving a place where God was honored to a place where He was not, of loss… & more loss. And of returning home, not in joy, but in grief & pain & bitterness of heart.
But in all of that grief & pain & bitterness, God did not turn away from Naomi (or Ruth). He didn’t forsake her… & even in the very last sentence of that chapter full of so much pain… God whispers a foreshadowing of hope:
“at the beginning of barley harvest.” (Ruth 1:22b) The barley harvest that set the stage for God’s providence… the barley harvest where Ruth met Boaz….
God already had a plan to provide for them through Boaz, after losing their source of provision with the loss of their husbands.
God had already determined their source of redemption through a story of hope with Boaz… but also a story of redemption for us, too… in the genealogy of Jesus Christ… Jesus Who would pay for the sins of the world through His love, sacrifice, death, & resurrection. Jesus Who died for us, but rose from the dead victorious over death AND our sin!
And in that little line, “at the beginning of the barley harvest,” we see God’s plan was present all along, even when all they could see was their hurting & their returning home sad… & when they could not in the slightest see hope was indeed on the horizon.
“… At the Beginning of Barley Harvest”–God Saw the Plan They Didn’t See
The same is true with me. “… At the beginning of barley harvest”–God saw the plan they didn’t see… & He sees the one that I can’t see, too.
I cannot see it. I don’t see a possible way. I don’t know the future. It hurts & it’s hard. I’m honestly scared sometimes because I don’t see a way.
But God does, doesn’t He?
And I don’t see it right now, but somewhere in all this uncertainty & starting over & grief… God has a little, “& it was the beginning of the barley harvest,” for me in it, too. Praise GOD!
I need to walk with Him. I need to talk with Him. I need to be talking about Him. And I need to remember all He has ALREADY done for me.
I need to trust God as much in the famines of my life as I do in the feasts—because He is STILL the SAME God!
Pray for One Another… Trust God TOGETHER
Pray with us. For peace… For discernment & wisdom… To see His way forward… & for help trusting Him even when we don’t.
Because I don’t see a way… but He does, doesn’t He? And so… we pray.
What are you struggling to trust Him with right now?
Where do you feel hidden from Him?
Where do you not see a way, but you need to trust that He does?
Pray with us. Pray for us. And let me know how I can be praying for you, too.
He has a way where there seems to be no way… & so, I need to better trust Him with that fact.
Shine HOPE by trusting that God already sees the ending… He already sees: “at the beginning of barley harvest.”
“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)
***He is waiting for you… will you come?:***
***(Romans 3:23; Romans 5:8-10; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 10:9-10; John 14:6)***
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A Note from Michelle:
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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
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Your purchase of November Hope Mail provides one day of school for a girl in an area of extreme poverty.
Featured in this month’s Hope Mail is the Hand Embroidered Earrings. These detailed, hand embroidered earrings are handcrafted by women in a workshop committed to fighting child marriage and creating dignified jobs for women in India. Each gold-tone earring uses traditional embroidery techniques to add chain and hand beading details to show off our Artisan Partners craftsmanship.
Every purchase of this month’s Hope Mail creates safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India where vulnerable women are often exploited by sweatshops and human traffickers.
***SHOP my link Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!***
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Have a wonderful week striving to live for His glory in all that you do!
