Anyone Else Need a Nap?

How are you doing today? Like, how are you really doing?

Honestly, I am tired. And not just an “I need more sleep” kind of tired, (although a nap does sound increasingly tempting as the day goes on)… just all around TIRED. I just don’t feel like I have much to offer anybody today.

My body feels worn down (admittedly becoming more & more common with each passing year, as I inch along through my 40s), my mind feels tired (just a lot going on), & I just feel a little beat up today, to be honest.

I’m not discouraged or disheartened, gratefully, but just feeling so incredibly worn out.

Watching Someone Else Hurting Is Hard

Part of it has been just the fact of watching my sweet kitty cat suffering these past couple days has been hard. If you have had a pet a while, you probably understand. They can’t tell you what’s wrong, but you see the desperate begging in their eyes for help & you feel helpless because you can’t exactly ASK them what is hurting them.

And I know some of you witness suffering & hurt from family members & friends & I can’t imagine how trying that is on the day-to-day, especially when it’s ongoing.

Last night, I came home to a puddle of blood on the floor after we had been seeing a few vomit spots throughout the house over the last 2 days (that’s probably where part of my tired is coming from in just constantly feeling like I am finding & then needing to clean up vomit around the house when I really hadn’t factored the time to do that into my schedule for the day).

It is hard to watch someone suffer. Especially when you can’t do anything to stop it. It takes a toll on you, doesn’t it?

(*He may be improving today, but it’s hard to tell at this point. I sought medical advice & was told to give it one more day because today he seemed to show slight improvement. Prayers appreciated for wisdom + his healing/comfort.*)

Even When I’m Tired

I don’t feel like I have much to give today, but I know that God is enough… even when I’m tired.

Lord, thank You for this reminder to seek You in all things, even things that seem small. To not rely on my own understanding. You know & You don’t ever have to guess. I need to be “praying without ceasing” & coming to You through every bit of life. I often mistake nudges from You as You trying to guilt me out of something I want, when You have no reason to do that. You know what is best & in Your goodness, You want to guide my every step if I but let You. Thank You for Your endless patience with me. Thank You for Your wisdom when we seek it. Thank You for being sovereign, even when I’m tired. Thank You for caring for us so well. Help me to better rely on & trust in You in all things big or small. Help my kitty get better & help me know how to help him. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Shine HOPE by trusting God in your weakness, on your off days, when you think you have it all together, & when you know you definitely don’t.

He is with you… even when you’re tired.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 6.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Ginkgo Earrings-Silver (INDIA)

When you shop the Ginkgo Earrings, you are creating safe jobs for women in areas of extreme poverty in India. These stunning, sculpted earrings are the perfect fair-trade fashion statement! Each silver-tone Ginkgo Earring features two connected ginkgo-shapes to create the beautiful dangle earring! These earrings are also available in a gold-tone finish.

***Purchase these beautifully handcrafted Ginkgo Earrings, using the “Shop Here” link below to empower women in India out of poverty!***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

The Times I Ask: “God, Where Are You?”

One of, if not THE hardest thing that causes me to wrestle with my faith is this: that sometimes God doesn’t take the pain away.

Whether it is the seasons of depression I struggle with or periods of maddening sleeplessness, or, like this past weekend, 4 hours of needing to actively fight against throwing up due to motion sickness on a flight–& not being able to get off the plane for some fresh air relief… when the pain keeps going, I begin to whimper… “God, where are You?”

It is most difficult for me to realize that sometimes God wants more for me than just the end of my suffering… He wants me to know Him as sufficient in all things… He wants opportunity to be glorified… He wants people to see that the peace He has to offer is not dependent on everything being comfortable & easy.

And that’s HARD.

It’s Always So Important to Look Back

I don’t know about you, but I do not like suffering one tiny eensy little bit. And when I am actively suffering, whether it’s emotional/hormonal imbalance or whether it’s physical… all I can think of is “MAKE. IT. STOP! PLEASE!”

But, looking back is the best reminder to keep on trusting God in the storms, because every single time, He has proven Himself faithful to me… that He had a plan all along… that He does not waste a single OUNCE of my suffering.

There are SO MANY examples of this that I have written about over these past almost 7 years. I couldn’t even name them all if I tried… there are just too many. God has always been faithful. God has always shown to have a plan. God has never once wasted an ounce of my suffering. No matter how hard it may seem, He proves faithful, sufficient, all-knowing, sovereign, gracious, kind, & wonderful every time.

Let’s Look Back Together

Depression for 2 years in high school, where I thought about suicide almost every day & cried alone in my closet more days than not? God showed that though He had stripped everything away that I counted on or trusted in or relied on for my identity or reputation… that even if I were to lose it all, if I had Him, I had ALL.

Not finding a job for MONTHS when I was desperate for money? God provided through odd jobs here & there every time before a bill was due, allowing me also to pay off all my debts to my parents as well, showing me HE WAS MY PROVIDER AS I trusted in HIM & HIS leading.

Sleeplessness for 2 months straight? God showed me He could BE my strength even when I had NONE, when I was willing to repent of my distrust & ask for His help. He WAS my strength in the hard!

Loneliness over a 6-year period, despite active efforts? God showed me that even though I handled that time progressively worse & completely failed Him & gave up on Him & resented Him… in all of that SIN & distrust & failure… He STILL worked through my life, showing me it’s not about ME being worthy, but about HIM being worthy.

I could go on forever about my undeserving & failure & falling short & distrusting Him & suffering… all with the same outcome: God showing Himself to have a plan, to never waste my struggle, & to be faithful through it all despite my unfaithful heart.

Yes. God can be trusted. Even when God doesn’t take the pain away.

God Didn’t Make Me All Better

On Sunday, I was sitting in my seat on the plane feeling so miserable. Motion sickness was tormenting me so much I couldn’t even reach for my bag to get meds without risk of vomit. I had to keep my head steady & concentrate actively on slow, steady breathing. Trying to catch the airflow from the vent to stay cooled. Trying to distract myself with randomness in my mind. PRAYING for relief & help. And staying very, very sick for the last FOUR HOURS of our flight.

Did I mention the PRAYING for relief & help? Well, I guess I never threw up, so that’s something… but the extreme constancy of discomfort didn’t ever let up. And there is no stopping a plane so I can pull over, get out on steady ground, & breathe fresh air until my tummy settles. Can’t exactly do that on an airplane….

And I PRAYED. Whimpered. Begged. Cried. I was so desperate to feel steady & have my tummy settle. But it didn’t… because sometimes God doesn’t take the pain away.

Rehearsing in My Mind What I KNOW to be TRUE… Even When It Doesn’t Exactly Feel Like IT

So, I have to look back… to remember His past faithfulness… to remember His always eventual displayed goodness when it wasn’t so readily visible in the struggle itself… to remember He will use this somehow, too.

God is good. Even when He doesn’t take the pain away. God is good.

He is faithful. He can BE your strength when YOU have NONE.

I think of the blind man… the people asking who sinned… his parents?… him?… And Jesus’ response? Neither (not that they were sin-free, but that their sin was not the cause), but that God could be glorified–so God’s power may be seen by the people. (John 9:2-3)

Because that man had a need, he was able to experience God’s provision, through Jesus. AND onlookers were able to witness the POWER of GOD, through JESUS.

If Ever Tempted to Doubt God’s Goodness…

And guess what? Our GREATEST need allows us to experience God’s provision, through Jesus, too.

We all fall short. We don’t have what it takes. We’ll never be enough, not REALLY. We’ll never measure up. We will always fail & fall short & get it wrong.

We can’t save ourselves. We can’t be sufficient. We can’t ever be good enough for God.

But… JESUS.

Can we just take a second to relish in that? To meditate on that TRUTH? We fail Him every single day in small ways & big ones, whether it’s distrusting Him in our struggles or anything else… we don’t deserve Him… BUT, He gave His Son to DIE for OUR debt ANYWAY.

I saw a quote yesterday that is so sweet & profound & it went something like, “He came to pay a debt He did not owe, because we owed a debt we could not pay.” Hallelujah, PRAISE GOD!

Sometimes God Doesn’t Take the Pain Away

God is sufficient in our NEED! God is GOOD! God is FAITHFUL!

He may not always answer the way I want Him to, but He ALWAYS answers to my deeper need: learning to let Him be God over every ounce of my life & being... to see Him as truly sovereign AND sufficient.

Perfecting me. Growing my faith in Him as sufficient in all things. Pruning me…. Making me more like Jesus.

Where do you question Him?

Where do you need to repent of distrust?

What need do you need to allow Him to fulfill?

His Son on the Cross for Our Sin

If ever tempted to doubt God’s goodness, we need not look further than His Son on the cross for our sin.

God wants you to know His goodness. He wants you to be confident to rest in Him. He wants you to draw near. He wants to be your sufficiency for all your need. He wants you to know Him.

Shine HOPE by trusting God’s goodness, provision, sufficiency, plan, faithfulness, & love… even when sometimes God DOESN’T take the pain away.

THANK YOU for your patience in the delay of this post being published. That 4 hours of “motion sickness” on the plane ended up being some sort of stomach bug that stuck around 4 FORTY-EIGHT hours. In other words, it got so much worse & yesterday I was just so weak & nauseated that I didn’t do much more than stay in bed. I am feeling much improved today & God held me through the worst of it. Happy to see the sunshine at the end of that dark tunnel. Today is a new day.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 6.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Peace Bracelet (EAST ASIA)

Help women escape brothels in East Asia when you purchase the Peace Bracelet! This blue-toned phoenix stone and hematite beaded bracelet includes the word “PEACE” for a fun, fair-trade look! Easy to dress up or down for daily wear, the Peace Bracelet is the perfect bracelet to add to your bracelet stack.

***Purchase this beautifully handmade Peace Bracelet, using the “Shop Here” link below, to create jobs supporting sex-trafficking survivors in East Asia with safe housing, health care, trauma counseling, job skills training, and dignified income.***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

Even Your Greatest Views of God Still Results in Putting God in a Box

How often do you consider the reality of God’s sovereignty? The implications of it?

That there is absolutely nothing you can do to “mess up” God’s plan?

If I were to claim to have control over a situation, my supposed control would be completely reliant on things working exactly the way I assume them to, with nothing going awry.

For God, though, His control doesn’t at all depend on any outside factors. We could mess things up in incompetence, in ignorance, in rebellion, or any other way you can imagine messing up, & God would still have full, absolute control over the situation & will still have everything to work out exactly as He had planned. He is SO MUCH greater than we could even begin to comprehend.

We cannot thwart God, in our lacking or in our rebellion or in our failures. God’s plan absolutely cannot be thwarted.

Amazing, isn’t it? I think so.

Nothing Can Stop God’s Plans

This means that evil will not & CANNOT prevail. God cannot be thwarted.

This means your mistakes & flaws & inadequacies will not & CANNOT get in the way of God’s plan. God cannot be thwarted.

This means that your rejection of Him will not & cannot stop Him. God cannot be thwarted.

He. Will. Prevail. (Proverbs 16:9)

How comforting this truth is! How assuring! How wonderful!

“I’m Not Ready” or “They’re Not Ready”… But HE IS

I don’t have to live paralyzed when God calls me to something I feel ill-equipped for.

Do you think Moses seemed ready when God called him? He sure seemed to think God could call someone better. (Exodus 4:11-13)

Do you think David was the perfect representation of God to include in the Bible, knowing he committed adultery & murder? Surely God could have called someone better. (2 Samuel 11)

Do you think Gideon was the best person for God to call to action, with all of his trembling fear? God surely could have called someone better. (Judges 7:10-11)

Do we vet people for God, based on our perception of them? Or do we pray for God’s placement, despite more obvious picks? (1 Samuel 16:1-13)

God doesn’t call the ready, capable, strong, best choice.

He calls the willing… because He knows He already is all the rest they would need.

The Interview That Forever Reset My Perception of Qualifications

I will forever be impacted by my interview with the pastoral team of the church I used to work with back beginning Fall 2010. (Fun Fact: where I met my husband.)

Almost every question in my interview had absolutely nothing to do with administrative skills or secretarial experience, but rather questions about my faith, my testimony, & how I live for Jesus.

The explanation? Everything else can be learned, but what was most important to them was having someone with a heart for God’s glory, the gospel, & loving others. What a novel idea that seemed to me! How inspiring & humbling!

They cared more about God’s opinion/leading than their own evaluations/opinions of me.

His Sovereignty Is Sufficient in ALL THINGS

God calls the WILLING. And HE equips them.

This is how God can place someone who seems ill-equipped & unprepared to lead a Bible Study group.

This is how God can have someone who seems weak to lead others.

This is how God can take an emotional, “too-talkative”, insecure girl to write a blog she feels inadequate for & sustain her through it for over 6.5 years now!

David Saw Beyond What He Brought to the Table… He Saw GOD

Think of young David against Goliath. I think, if I had been a witness that day, & I had heard THAT agreement (1 fighter against 1 fighter to determine the fate of their entire people) & I saw puny DAVID heading out on the field as our chosen fighter, (not even big enough to fill out/wear armor or carry a sword for that matter!) that I would be like, “no, noooo, no, no, no, hold up… he’s kidding! We can find someone better! Give us a minute to talk about this! Time OUT!”

But David saw beyond himself. He saw what Sovereign GOD could do that which he could NOT on his own. (1Samuel 17)

I Didn’t Have a Clue… But I Didn’t Need To

I will tell you that in my now 6.5 years of writing this blog, I never thought I could do this. Ever.

I didn’t know how to design/create/launch a website.

I didn’t know how to be consistent on something I sometimes lose interest in.

I didn’t know how to show up for God when sometimes all I want to do is be selfish or lazy or my bad attitude wants to shove it all away.

I didn’t feel like a good enough writer with good enough content.

I didn’t feel up to the task.

But I was willing. And I would say now that God has used that willingness mightily.

Pray through Your Roadblocks & Limitations… & Trust God CAN Where You Can’t

I said, “God, really? Me? I don’t think so. Have You really thought this through? How would I even start? How would I even know how to do it? I don’t know where to even BEGIN with a project like that. If You want me to do this, I need you to be my supply in it, so please guide my steps & show me how to begin.”

As I prayed this, along with praying over every website-launching question or concern that ever came across my mind in what I would need to know in order to begin, I soon crossed paths with a course on how to do every one of the things I had specifically prayed about—in my budget, too! And I followed His lead & took it.

And then, I told God, “But I am inconsistent. I lose interest. I get bored. I have bad attitudes. How am I supposed to not quit at this, too? How am I supposed to be consistent & represent You when I am not always a good example?”

But again, God prompted my heart that it wasn’t about me “looking like a good Christian,” but about me showing up, even on bad attitude days, even on my worst days, & showing that even when I am weak, He is strong. Showing that HE is the GOOD One, not me. Him getting the glory–not me. Even when I don’t deserve it, He is faithful. Even when I fail, He will not. Even when I fall short, He is sufficient. Pointing to HIM in my lack.

That it’s not about me being perfect, but about showing Him to be perfect.

And guess what? I may not be the best choice. I may not be the best writer or the most faithful in my attitude response.

But God is Sovereign. I can’t mess up His plan. He will prevail despite me. I cannot thwart Him. His Word will not return void. Even if I get it ALL wrong.

God Multiplies What We Offer, Even If What We Have to Offer Seems Worthless

I can trust that He can take my meager offering & somehow multiply it far beyond what I feel I have to offer. He made the world “Ex Nihilo” (out of nothing), so even if your meager offer feels like nothing, God can still use it.

I just have to be willing to lay down my weaknesses, failures, sometimes unwillingness, pain, bad attitudes, or whatever else at His feet & say, “God, I know it’s not much, but it’s all I have to give to You today. Will You please use it for Your glory?”

Even if I look a fool. Even if I am looked down on. Even if I am judged. Even if I get an eye roll. Even if I am misunderstood. (And sometimes I have to remind myself of this, because the pull to be liked & accepted & believed in by others is SO strong at times for me.)

If my obvious lacking can bring Him glory, I offer it to be used by Him.

Because He is Sovereign, I can have full confidence in showing up with the very little I sometimes feel I have to give Him, knowing He is fully capable of multiplying much from my very little.

God’s Sovereignty–We Can’t Ruin Anything

As author Watchman Nee so eloquently puts it, in his book: “Sit, Walk, Stand,” in everything we do, we begin with God’s “done-ness.” He is seated on His throne, He is sufficient for the task. He brings everything needed to the table…. (You can find the link to this book in the books section of the recommendations tab on my website: “Recommended by Michelle.”)

… I just have to show up & be willing to be used by Him, the Sovereign GOD.

With God’s Sovereignty, we can’t ruin anything. He cannot & will not be thwarted. Take courage in that!

Shine HOPE by being willing to look a fool, to be that scrawny David getting mocked for how ill-equipped he appeared, ready to trust God to be Sovereign in whatever lies ahead… even if just through being WILLING.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 6.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Ebony Suede Clutch (INDIA)

Create fair-paying jobs for women in India to earn a dignified income with this on-trend suede clutch. Enjoy the functionality of this classic Ebony Suede Clutch, featuring antique gold accents, interior zipper pocket, and 18 card slots. This chic clutch has a toggle closure. 

***Purchase this handcrafted suede clutch using the “Shop Here” link below to empower women in India out of poverty!***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

God Is Greater Still

God is so patient with us, isn’t He? And so humble about it.

Of anyone, He alone has full right to be arrogant, & yet… His character can be defined by the purest humility.

How He (Jesus) willingly left the glories of Heaven to be born as a man, in all of our fleshly-ness, & be rejected by those He created… to be beaten & killed by them… to serve them. What a wonderful God we serve.

He loved me when I rejected Him. He died for me while I was still a sinner (Romans 5:8).

And yes, I get that He died many years before I was born, but the fact remains that He did it for me, it was finished & made available to me before I even accepted it.

His love came first.

His Love Secures

And He didn’t stay dead. He rose again, victorious over that sin of mine. He paid in FULL.

Because of that–all of my falling short… I can be assured is paid for already, too.

I miss the mark every day. I fall short every day. I am not unaware of my many shortcomings & even failures.

But He gave His life for that, so I could live in & claim freedom despite my sinful flesh ever-screaming for control in my life.

His love secures.

Keep My Focus

I can’t tell you how often I am tempted to live as pleasing to men (humanity)… to look better according to what they seem to believe I should be like… to fit the mold better.

I will say that even on my darkest days, where heaviness rests on me like a wet, weighted blanket… I can feel God holding my hand in it & through it. I can see He is at work, even though I can’t sometimes see the work. I can feel secure when my life doesn’t feel secure. I can feel grounded when the ground seems to crumble beneath me.

Because my hope is not secured to things going my way, to me feeling emotionally stable, to me feeling like my world is going right.

My hope is secured to the One Who loved me before I knew to love Him.

I Don’t Enjoy Pain, but I Can Rest in the One Who Holds Me through It

Do I selfishly long for the pain to stop on my hard days? Do I selfishly wish I never had to feel weak ever again? Oh, certainly YES!

But I am human. I can expect to feel weak... to come to the end of myself.

But His mercies are new every morning. He keeps showing up. His sufficiency remains when mine depletes.

I want so desperately to rely on my storehouse, my provision, what I can SEE. I want to feel in control.

My Daily Sufficiency–His Mercies Are New Every Morning

And sometimes I feel like the Israelites in the desert, craving to take in more than what God provides each day so I can rely on MYSELF.

But God wants me to see that I don’t need that flimsy hope… That it is just a mirage anyway. That I can’t (& don’t need to) depend on myself as my hope.

His daily bread supplies my need. His new-every-morning mercies supply my need.

I don’t need to feel strong, but to rely on HIS strength to supply my need.

I don’t need to feel liked or approved or seen, but to fix my focus on living to please & honor HIM.

His mercies are new every morning.

A Foggy Brain… But a Sufficient God

Last week, I talked about what I have learned working in prison ministry… how I am on the schedule now to teach this new segment on God’s JUSTICE. (Read that post: “Us vs. Them? What I’ve Learned in Prison Ministry.”)

Well, I have been practicing my lesson (& more importantly, PRAYING over it) since August, when I had the potential to begin teaching. And now it is NOVEMBER. (We have to remain flexible with prison ministry because sometimes they’re all-hands-on-deck & cannot accommodate us coming or weather prevents it, & so on.)

So, lots of months preparing for, praying over, & practicing one lesson… just in case… but when I went to finally teach it this past Thursday, my mind was foggy & tired after a very long & hectic day.

My Preparations Failed Me… But He Didn’t

Worried I couldn’t quite find my words like I had practiced so much already, I wondered how I was going to get through it successfully & was feeling disheartened that my much practice was seeming insufficient in my time of tired brain.

So, I prayed about it. I asked God to tell me what to do… how to get through it. And I also prayed: “God, if part of Your plan is to show me as fumbling & ill-prepared despite my MONTHS of preparation because You want to show Yourself somehow through my weakness… then so be it. Just let me be faithful to Your plan in this, even if it ends up making ME look bad. AMEN.”

I don’t know how it appeared to them, but to me, my brain fog seemed to get in the way. And that’s okay. God doesn’t need me to be perfect. He needs me to show up & do my best & let HIM take care of the rest.

Because really, it’s not about ME looking good—but about bringing HIM glory.

Let Him be Seen in Your Weakness

And sometimes, in our weakness, others can see—“oh, maybe her life isn’t all perfect & maybe she’s not doing this because she’s so great at it… maybe she chose to do this not for THOSE reasons but because this is really important to her to share about this God… this JESUS.”

I don’t know… I’m just speculating… but I know that even if I don’t come off as all that great… my job is not to come off as all that great anyway. My job is to show how great HE is… not me.

His love for them matters more than how good I look telling them about it.

I want to be willing to look a fool, to show Him as my supply, as my sufficiency, as my HOPE. To show it’s all Him.

Do You Know JESUS? Do You Promote Him or Yourself as Your Sufficiency with Your Actions?

Where in your life are you desperately feeling the need to LOOK LIKE you have it all together? To LOOK LIKE your life is swell at all times versus promoting God as your sufficiency in your lack? To rely on YOUR storehouse versus God’s provision?

And do you know Jesus? Because He is the key. God says, in the Bible, that Jesus is THE way, THE truth, & THE life… & that NO ONE comes to God except through HIM (John 14:6).

Are you praying & feeling unheard? Are you wanting peace that never comes? Are you wishing you felt hope secured but your life always feels unsteady? You need to know Jesus. He is the KEY.

He ALONE can make you right with God because He ALONE can pay your debt for your shortcomings before God. Do you know Jesus? Do you promote HIM as your hope?

Shine HOPE by being willing to look a fool for Him… by showing up & pointing to Him, even if you don’t feel you look your best… by letting His glory shine through the cracks of your imperfections… & by allowing Him to be your daily sufficiency in all things.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 6.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

White Doodle Ornament (NEPAL)

HOLIDAY EDITION – While supplies last–(also available in red & black doggos)! Create safe jobs with fair wages for the women in Nepal who handcraft the White Doodle Ornament through this dignified partnership. Adorn your Christmas tree with an adorable White Doodle Pup crafted using 100% wool and traditional wool crafting techniques that have been passed down for generations.

(***Purchase this cute handmade ornament, using the “Shop Here” link below & empower women in Nepal out of poverty!***) 

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

My Ways Are Not God’s Ways

I had a plan for my blog today. I have been writing & editing in my head a lot of today, preparing for the time when I would sit down & let the words flow as I typed them out for you. But then… I go to do it & nothing is coming out quite right. Everything is falling flat. It all feels forced, like it’s not what God has for me to say today & yet I am trying to make it happen anyway.

So, here I am… an hour later… starting over with no plan.

Well, God, what do You have for me to say today?

A Trigger I Didn’t See Coming

I have been attending the Monday evening ladies Bible Study at my church—which I need to leave for in a little over an hour as I sit with this almost blank page in front of me now & a blog post deadline in 3.5 hours.

The topic of this Bible Study has been “Emotions“—& to be honest, I have been tempted to just stop attending—not because I think I know everything on this topic & therefore don’t need help with this… quite the contrary—but because I have felt it sometimes over-simplifies the topic maybe in a way that triggers me, quite frankly.

Why does it trigger me, you might ask…. Because of the large amount of negative responses I have received in my lifetime dealing with my own personal big emotions. People have not always seemed to respond well to them, unless of course, the emotions felt “understandable.”

As per my last blog post: “Why Are Deep Emotions So Often Equated with “Being Emotional,” you can probably see it has stirred some frustrations in me. But it has also given me a newfound confidence I haven’t really known before—embracing my lifelong, “sometimes feels like a curse, but now realize the true bring-me-to-Jesus-reminder blessing it can be”—“emotional-ness.”

There Is a Difference

The book just honestly reminds me of some naivety I had after my time with deep depression for 2 years back in high school. Almost a high, if you will, of “this happened to me, but God taught me through it & now I’m all good as long as I can hold on to this thing I learned!” As if… fix it & you won’t have to feel hard feelings anymore–maybe that’s not what she intended… but you have to be careful of where the line is drawn between addressing the emotions themselves & the idea of allowing them to be used as an excuse for sin–because there is a difference. Emotions don’t equal sin.

Now, sometimes she does distinguish between emotions & the spirals that can potentially follow, but a lot of times it just seems to lump all together as just emotions seeming to almost be the enemy–which, they aren’t.

Hence last week’s topic.

I Want to Allow Myself Permission to be Emotional

You know, being emotional can actually be a really beautiful thing. Aside from it serving as a prodding reminder of my very real & constant need for something outside of myself–AKA Jesus, it also allows me to more fully engage with the world around me, to soak it up & to experience it more vividly.

But it can also be uncomfortable… & make other people feel uncomfortable. And because of this, I learned to hide my emotions… to pretend… to feel them when I am alone only… to never let people see me cry.

But now, I look at someone break down in tears & fall into the embrace of someone they love & trust, willing to be vulnerable & weak with someone whom they know cares for them & I just think—“I want to have the courage to believe someone would let me do that, without judgment & not have to feel it alone.”

Emotions Aren’t the Enemy–Our Wrong Responses Are

Emotions have long been made out to be the bad guy. I hear things like, “you are always so emotional…” “stop being so dramatic…” etc. But feeling deeply is not wrong–unless used as an excuse for wrong.

I get that some people may use strong emotions because they’re starving for attention & that’s the only way they know how to get it. I know that some people may decide it’s easier to trust Satan’s lies & move further away from God & deeper into a spiral. I know some people will lash out at others & blame “that time of the month” as an excuse. But emotions don’t MAKE you do those things… You have a choice in how you respond to your emotions–even though your right response may not guarantee said emotions away.

Sometimes I Feel When I Feel I Have No Real Reason to Feel

I’m asked why oh why do I feel so strongly about something that’s not even really that big of a deal… & sometimes… I feel deep heaviness on my heart with no recognizable reason to offer as good reason for it.

I have had times, even without the extra time-of-the-month hormones at work, where I feel deep heavy sadness almost… like a heavy weight on me… & I don’t even know WHY. Like, I can search my heart & thoughts & not come up with a single thing stressing me out or worrying me or hurting me & yet it hurts SO MUCH anyway. Makes zero sense to me. And yet… is.

And people want an answer. They want a justification. It makes it easier to understand… to maybe be able to help…. Maybe they’re wondering if I am just being dramatic “again”?

I don’t know.

But in those times, I can have sobs flowing out, with no cause I can see for the heaviness weighing on me, & I talk to God in it. I ask Him for help. I ask Him to help me keep trusting Him in it even it He chooses not to remove it. I remind myself that God never allows anything without a good reason—for my good & His glory. That I can trust Him even when the hurt doesn’t stop. I ask for His peace & comfort & to feel His presence in the heavy hurts. And He does answer in those ways.

I Can’t Always Pray the Pain Away

It’s hard because it takes continual surrender when it doesn’t ease up after prayer. I want more of a 1. feel pain (or just not even have 1.), 2. pray about it & remember Biblical Truth, 3. it eases up & I move on. Instead, when I am emotional, 3. doesn’t come. The pain stays. And I have to keep laying it down at His feet & keep drawing from His strength instead of the satisfaction of feeling my own return to me. That is HARD. That continual surrender versus removal of the pain is HARD.

Does He remain faithful to provide strength that isn’t my own? To give me impossible peace while the pain is still hurting me? To comfort me as it continues to weigh heavy on my heart? Yes, every single time–He is FAITHFUL to me–but I have to be willing to KEEP COMING TO HIM IN IT. And that is HARD.

The longing is to pray the pain away, when sometimes God wants us to trust Him to be sufficient while the pain remains.

The Key Is to KEEP Coming to Him

I don’t disagree with a lot that the aforementioned author of our study recommends, in needing to renew our minds with God’s Word—the Bible, with needing to retrain our focus by remembering we have a choice, with remembering to turn to God in our struggles, with knowing emotions don’t need to lead to spirals–in fact, I talk about some of that in a previous post: “Understanding Depression with Discernment.”

But we must be careful to distinguish between emotions themselves & the spirals &/or sin they can bring if we’re not careful.

“Be Angry & Do Not Sin”

It is very true that feeling big usually brings with it a weakness for succumbing to the easy-to-believe lies of Satan, telling us to doubt God & turn away from Him, telling us to dishonor God, disrespect Him, or disobey Him because of how we’re feeling… telling us to lash out at others in them.

The verse: “Be angry & do not sin,” (Ephesians 4:26) comes to mind because it’s this picture of feeling the way you feel, but not allowing it to stand as an excuse for hurting yourself, God, or others… aka SIN.

Sometimes God Allows the Pain to Remain So You & Others May See His Strength in Place of Your Own

I also think of Paul’s thorn in his side—that he prayed for God to remove & God responded with: “My grace is sufficient for you.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) God allowed the pain to remain. And Paul understood that in seasons of pain, they could also be opportunities to shine God’s strength when he felt he had little to none–in his weaknesses, infirmities, reproaches, needs, persecutions, & distresses.

I have felt that in so many of my dark seasons. As if God is allowing this heavy dark cloud to follow me everywhere I go & when I pray for it to leave, it’s almost as if God is very gently telling me, “no.”

I Know This & Yet…

And I have spiraled. I have doubted God loved me. I have tried to solve it my own way.

But I have also submitted to Him in it. I have learned from it. I have seen God use it to bring me closer to Him, to teach me something that I had long asked Him about, to demonstrate to others how to turn to them in their own weaknesses & pain.

I have trusted He had a plan even when I could not see it. I have trusted He loves me even when the pain will not leave. I have trusted that God would not waste the hurts He was letting me experience.

I have seen God WORK in them. And BE MY SUFFICIENCY.

He did not leave me. He did not forsake me. He is the Potter & I am but the clay.

We’re All Learning–God’s Not Finished with Me Yet

So, yes, this Bible study book we’re reading, in its sometimes naïve over-simplification of emotions as the culprit versus the poor responses to said emotions, has irked me to no end on some days as I work through it… but it has forced me to face up to all the negative reactions I have received over the years of my life… to embrace that I am not ashamed for being emotional & I no longer want to allow anyone convince me that I ought to be.

If God wants me to be poured out so that He may be magnified… to God be the glory. AMEN.

Shine HOPE by determining to KEEP turning to God in your hurts, refusing to allow them to be used as excuses for sin… & by giving intentional grace to those who feel things you don’t think are justifiable or things you don’t understand… letting God, in all things, be glorified.

God can handle those big emotions just fine, my dear, so keep turning to Him in them each & every time.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for SIX years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Champagne Vine Earrings (INDIA)

LIMITED EDITION – Available While Supplies Last! The Champagne Vine Earrings are crafted in a workshop committed to fighting child marriage and creating dignified jobs for women in India. These detailed, champagne colored fringe earrings are hand beaded and feature a delicate vine design beaded in black seed beads.  

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

I Don’t Need Fixing

Why is having strong emotions so often equated with being dramatic?

Being emotional is often seen as a bad thing that needs fixing. Being emotional is often seen as a result of lacking faith. Being emotional is often considered a weakness.

Coming from someone with lifelong deep emotions… what a sad & incomplete understanding of emotions.

Emotions Can Tempt Wrongs… But They Can Only Tempt

The Bible is written with such rich emotions, even by male authors, no less, so why has it so commonly been twisted into such a strong conviction by certain people that strong emotions are wrong & should be avoided or squashed?

I get that there is always the fear of cultivating emotion-led faith, where you serve God mainly because you feel a spiritual high, versus serving Him the same regardless of how you are feeling, but that doesn’t make feeling… bad.

I think maybe because emotions make us vulnerable & feeling vulnerable is not always too pleasant. And, more notably, that vulnerability can set us up for attack. We can be tempted to doubt God… we can be tempted to dwell on the cause of the emotions versus turning to God in them… we can be tempted to give into despair… we can be tempted to react in sin—lashing out or blaming God or avoiding obedience to God… or growing a bad attitude. They can TEMPT us to shut down & grow bitter, but only can they tempt.

How Worship-Evoking It Can Be to Feel So Weak

But it’s not wrong to feel. It’s not even wrong to feel deeply. It’s not wrong to allow yourself that deep vulnerability of weakness.

In fact, what a worship-evoking thing it has the great potential to be… what a spur to pray & seek the riches of God’s Word…. What a blessing it can be to feel that very real need so deeply to your core—a reminder that you require something more than yourself.

Setting a Good Example Doesn’t Mean Having It Together All the Time

I get it. We want to feel “on our feet.” We want to feel strong & capable. We want to “be a good example.” We want to appear okay. We don’t want to feel so needy (as needy as we truly are).

But, as I say often about planning community church events, a good testimony is not necessarily that you ensure nothing ever goes wrong, but rather your response if something does go wrong.

So, we quote Scripture at emotions (reminding yourself of Truth in big emotions is a healthy habit, but it does not guarantee emotions away). We stuff it. We hide it. We pretty it up. We pretend. Or maybe we have just gotten so good at not letting ourselves feel it at all.

So, we try to find ways to avoid feeling so deeply… avoid feeling so out of control… avoid feeling so vulnerable.

Sometimes the Pain Is Unnamed

But sometimes the weight I feel has no name. It’s not from overthinking or from anxiety or from anything at all in particular. Just weight. And you know what—it feels good to let myself cry. I feel relieved. It pushes me to pray & let God sit with me in it, to give me peace despite the struggle.

I have gone through such intense spiritual attacks in certain seasons of my life, that I wanted to die because it felt like someone had taken about 20 weighted blankets & dropped them over my soul, like I was suffocating, but yet I was very aware of God still being in full control, whether He chose to leave the weight there or remove it. Crying from the pain, while praising God that I knew He somehow had a plan in the pain. So, personally, I saw that my deep, painful emotions were not present with sin–but yet they remained.

Let’s Not Assume More Than the Text Is Saying

I think we can look at stories like when everyone was freaking out on the boat in the storm as Jesus sleeps, seeing Him awake & rebuke the wind & waves to stillness & then rebuking the men for their lack of faith & think—“this must mean I should never feel struggle because it means I am worthy of rebuking for my own lack of faith.” But their problem in that storm wasn’t emotion—it was fearing the storm/natural occurrence more than the God Who controls those. God wasn’t implying a blanket rebuke against strong emotions here. (Mark 4:35-41)

Aside from seeing such rich emotions present in Scripture (the Bible), I know, from personal experience, how deep, rich emotions can be present with a very obvious lack of sin—aka, no continued dwelling on it or overthinking in place of prayer, no wanting to distrust God…. Just… pain.

Job Felt Deep Pain after Experiencing Deep Loss

“Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. And he said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.” Job 1:20-22

That is not an expression of calm, lacking emotion. He tore his clothes it hurt so much. He felt the hurt & full weight of it, he felt strong emotions, but determined to praise God IN his hurt.

Is It Only Acceptable When We Can “Adequately” Justify It?

And I think people understand when it’s something that seems reasonable: lose a loved one—grief, someone gets attacked—hurt, seeing an orphan—pain. If it makes sense to people, it seems acceptable, but only if you can justify WHY you feel so strongly. Only then. And sometimes only for as long as someone may feel it is appropriate.

And like that day in my car with my rhetorical 20 weighted blankets, not understanding at all why I felt such pain in my spirit, but feeling it so strongly, crying in private because I knew I wouldn’t be able to understand it enough to “justify” it to someone else… I knew God was right there in it with me, holding me together despite how much it hurt. He had me even when the pain didn’t stop or let up. He saw me, He knew my pain, He didn’t need me to justify it to wrap me in His compassion & love. To hold me. To be my CAN when I just couldn’t.

Do We Vet Deep Emotions before We’re Willing to Show Compassion?

Why do we feel the need to believe a feeling is worth feeling in order to be in the storm with someone? To love them by their side through it?

Not just “giving them a verse to think on” because you feel they’re being dramatic or maybe overreacting… but holding them through it even when it doesn’t make any sense to you or doesn’t seem a “level of emotional” that is justifiable in that moment.

As if we have to vet it as worthy of not “just being dramatic,” in order for it deserve our care & compassion?

Is it because it’s inconvenient? Uncomfortable? We don’t know how to fix what we can’t define? It doesn’t wrap up as nicely as we would like?

Why don’t we try just loving anyway? Repenting even–of our felt need to approve compassion….

Weakness Isn’t a Bad Thing… It’s a Reality

Emotions are vulnerable. They can make us feel really weak. But maybe that weakness isn’t so bad after all.

And maybe some of us are just weaker than others (I certainly feel I am because I feel so much when others seem to think I shouldn’t need to)… who feel more deeply than you do, so that it may not make sense to you, but is what it is, regardless of whether it makes sense.

I used to feel like my strong emotions were a curse. I used to beg that curse away. But, as I got older & was praying through one season of deep emotional pain I couldn’t explain away… I asked God, “Why did You make me this way? Why do I have to have the curse? I just want it to stop. Please–why?!?” And I felt a soft answer over my heart in the form of dawning understanding that in all those years with seasons of such deep hurting, they have made me live with constant recognition of my very real need of Him… always drawing me back to seek Him… to rely on Him instead of myself… that those heavy emotions were not at all a curse, but a very rich, beautiful BLESSING.

How Do You Respond?

How you respond to deep emotions is what matters. Don’t let that weakness make you pull back from or deny God. Don’t let it tempt you to use it as an excuse to avoid doing right. Don’t let it have power of you, but trust God to be your enough IN it.

Let that weakness draw you into the arms of Jesus… to wake you up to the needs & hurts of those around you, to show compassion… to be a light that even in the darkness, God is the light & He can be your sufficiency even when you feel none of your own.

Let those tears fall. Release the tension. And let it spur you to worship the God Who is enough even when you are not.

The Problem Is Not Emotions… But in Not Dealing with Them in a Healthy, God-Honoring Way

We need to maybe stop demonizing heavy emotions & start embracing them in a HEALTHY, God-pleasing way!

So many years of demonizing strong emotions & the problems that come from them are usually because the solution taught has so often been—“stop being dramatic…” instead of “let them help you better recognize & understand your very real need for God, through Jesus… & use them to point others to His strength as your enough in your weakness. Use them to glorify God!”

Draw near to Him in them!

Fix your focus on Truth!

Cling to Him as your help & hope!

Use them to proclaim His glory! His strength in your weakness!

All glory be to God Almighty, God of Heaven & Earth! God Who made us to feel as a way to engage in the world around us. Praise God in the storm!

Teach Them Not–“Conceal, Don’t Feel”

If you have a child who has deep emotions, don’t teach them to fear, mask, cover up, or avoid them (even the boys because boys are allowed to feel!)… teach them to engage with those emotions in a healthy, God-honoring way, as a tool to help them remember their need of God (to pray & to seek Him) & as an opportunity to see & show how God can be our enough when we can’t be.

There are so many verses in the Bible that call us to compassion, to bearing with one another in love, to bearing each other’s burdens, to loving one another, to showing grace… let us keep THOSE verses in mind when someone is bearing a burden we can’t see &/or don’t understand.

Grace upon grace, emulating the love & care of Jesus Christ in how we treat one another in those deep emotions that may make little sense to us.

And in those deep emotions, may it be a living reminder of your very real need for more than yourself… drawing you into the ever-loving care of Jesus.

Shine HOPE by turning to God in your deep emotions… by not allowing them to control or tempt you… by being a light for God’s strength in your weakness… by showing compassion to others facing emotions we don’t understand… & by teaching the next generation how to feel deeply in a way that leads them back to HIM as their HOPE.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for SIX years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Tarra Lantern Set (INDIA)

Support families in areas of extreme poverty in India, empowering them to end poverty cycles for their families, send their kids to school, and earn fair wages for their work through your purchase of the Tarra Lanterns. Display this set of ethically made gold lanterns beautifully with their star cut outs! The lanterns are open at the top to easily add a candle, light, or any other decor.

***Purchase this unique handcrafted set, using the “Shop Here” link below to empower these artisan women in India out of poverty!***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

Let’s Take a Deeper Look

I see a lot of misplaced blame happening & I am sure it’s nothing new, but I want to take some time to highlight some of these areas so that we can better assess whether there is something we need to do about it….

A lot of things in life are not bad in & of themselves, but often get a bad rap because they commonly are associated with low self-control (ie. social media) or even just something that makes other people uncomfortable (ie. strong emotions).

Social Media Isn’t the Problem

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard speakers & leaders pretty much bash social media as almost associating the use of it with sinful behavior.

But, for things like this, we need to take a step back & look at things more closely.

Like so many things easy to blame, it isn’t the thing itself that is the problem, but the misuse of it, or taking it out of a healthy context. Just like food–we cannot blame food for our lack of self-control, just like we can’t blame social media for our lack of control with it.

My former pastor was one of those who used to really nail in that he felt social media was borderline sinful & should be avoided–a waste of time at the very least, but then he read a book recommended by a friend & when done, he confessed to me that his whole view had been altered & that he was positive that if Paul were alive today, he would be an avid social media user, because it is a way to go TO the lost, when they may not ever come to you.

Using Social Media for Good

Living in Japan for 7 years, 3 of it really being isolated from most all the world because of language barriers, God used that hardship to prompt the launch of this website & blog, because He showed me very clearly that not everyone in this world has access to fellowship & community with other Christian women. I really wanted to provide that safe space, accessible from any part of the world.

I aim to use my corner of social media to be a light in the darkness, pointing ever to the hope we have available because of Jesus Christ.

Social media, therefore, is not the problem. It is when it is taken out of a healthy, God-honoring context… when it is misused & used as an excuse for sin.

Social media has the power to be a light in very dark places, in the privacy of homes, where people don’t have the courage to admit their need, but have it nonetheless—to point them to the only solid place of HOPE—to point them to Jesus.

Social media has the power to encourage & build up those who feel they have no support system near them & no one to come alongside them in places of isolation or hurt, to point them to Jesus in every season of life, no matter where they may live.

Let Me Say This Again–Feeling Strong Emotions Is NOT Sinful

This next area often demonized that is very personal for me—emotions. Oh boy have I heard it all with this one… & it often ain’t pretty.

I so often hear people making it seem like having deep emotions is a bad thing, bordering on sinful, as if it signifies a lack of faith or trust in God. (Maybe they haven’t read some of the deeply emotion-rich books of the Bible—like Psalms?)

Feeling deeply does not mean you don’t trust God enough. Let me say that again—feeling deeply does NOT mean you don’t trust God enough.

In fact, aside from the deep emotions expressed in the Bible, growing up with deep emotions gives me a certain personal perspective on this topic.

Growing Up, It Felt Like a Curse… Now, I See It for What It Really, Truly Is… A BLESSING from God That Ever Draws Me Nearer to HIM

Did you know that I grew up crying out to God about my big emotions? Asking Him why He made me so weak & frail? So sensitive? So annoying with my big feels that seem to make some of the people around me subtly & slowly back away or even openly push me away?

And do you know what He ended up answering me with? A realization that because of those very big feels that I forever felt were my curse… in a world often lulled into complacency & a false sense of self-sufficiency… I was never given that “luxury.” I was always very aware of my very real need for Him. & so, throughout my life, I was constantly & consistently shoved back to understanding my need to seek after Him as my only real & true hope–what a GIFT!

Emotions, therefore, are not the problem. It is when they are taken out of a healthy, God-honoring context… when they are misused & used as an excuse for sin.

Emotions have the power to bring down walls, to send us into the arms of Jesus. Emotions have the power to show us our always very real need of Jesus–what a beautiful GIFT!

Showing Compassion

I talked about this last (?) week, in “Happy Plastic People–The Pressures to Seem Perfect,” where maybe influenced by a social media rich culture, we have been fooled into thinking that a good Christian is someone who portrays themselves as always having their life together–but that is not what is represented in Scripture at all–the Bible is full of weak people, used by an ALL-POWERFUL GOD.

We don’t stop being weak! We don’t stop being human! We don’t stop needing Him at all times! Do we live our best to please & honor Him in all we do, though, YES. But we are not strong. We need Him–& that is okay.

In fact, in the many biblical references to God as our Father, I always thought of it as a grown daughter coming to her dad for help with her car or for advice, but wow was I wrong… & prideful, obviously… because the truer comparison is a helpless baby or toddler who THINKS SHE CAN, but really depends on Him for EVERYTHING.

My big emotions that oftentimes make so many people so noticeably uncomfortable are the very things that regularly remind me to rely on HIM & not myself.

Can Satan kick me when I am down & make me spiral through believing his very convincing lies when I am in deep times of struggle? Yes. But are the emotions, aka FEELING, the problem? No. Just because it makes people uncomfortable, doesn’t make it sinful.

(Check out my previous blog post–“Understanding Depression with Discernment,” to read how I learned, through MUCH prayer & MUCH personal experience with strong emotions, to pierce through to the TRUTH behind the emotions. This realization changed my life–for real!)

Always Look to the ROOT–The Epidemic of Misplaced Blame

Let’s be careful not to blame the wrong thing when we assess situations. Be mindful of not spreading “the epidemic of misplaced blame.” Whether it be social media, big emotions that make us uncomfortable, or anything else, really.

Oftentimes, it’s not “the thing” that is the true problem, but the misuse/abuse of it, taking it out of a healthy context, or using it as an excuse for sin that is the real problem.

Where have you maybe been guilty of misplacing blame where you just need healthier boundaries… or a lesson in compassion?

Shine HOPE by using any weakness as a reminder of your very real need of HIM, letting it prompt you to surrender more of yourself to His powerful help, living with compassion versus living as a judge… & by using the resources at your disposal for His glory.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for SIX years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nepali Nativity Set (NEPAL)

This adorable nativity set is handcrafted using traditional felt-crafting techniques that have been passed down for generations. Each Nepali Nativity Set includes three figurines, Mary holding baby Jesus, Joseph, and a little lamb.

***Purchase this adorable nativity set using the “Shop Here” link below & help to provide a woman in an area of extreme poverty with a safe job and fair wage.***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

Personal Boundaries Are Good… But…

I have talked recently how there was a time in my life where I moved to a new place & everyone seemed to be singing to the same tune & I felt out of place, like I didn’t belong & didn’t fit in because I “didn’t know the words.”

It was a Christian culture cultivated to help set boundaries for the staff, in order to represent Jesus well—in other words, the intentions were in the right place, I believe, but because I didn’t grow up under these same boundaries & rules, I automatically felt noticeably different from everyone… like I didn’t fit.

On top of that, I did, unfortunately, meet some judgement from a select few who had taken those boundaries to another level—almost as if it defined them personally as being a good Christian because they grew up within these boundaries—it sort of became an unrecognized, subtle self-righteousness where it was sometimes a little too easy to look down on someone’s standing with God if they didn’t follow these same boundaries.

And because they were fellow Christians & I trusted THEIR faith to be sincere, I began to question my OWN faith & whether it was sincere “enough” to make me a “good Christian.”

Happy Plastic People–The Pressures to Seem Perfect

Have you ever been a part of a church & you felt like you just could not measure up because everyone was always happy, always perfect? … While you felt like the hot mess express? That’s been me.

I don’t know why we feel so much pressure to show up with everything already figured out, as if we have it together all the time if we want to be considered a “good” Christian, as if you didn’t just yell at your kids in the car on the way to church. (I don’t have kids, but I can definitely relate to the general idea.)

And the unspoken expectation for leadership to always appear perfect? What an unfair, impossible standard. I have always been friends with many in leadership, from working as a Sunday School teacher or Bible study leader alongside my former youth pastor, to being the church secretary & spending most days learning from & chatting with our pastor, to being close friends with a pastor & his wife in Japan. And let me tell you–they are no closer to perfection than any of us. They are human, too.

Why is there so much pressure to seem perfect? To be happy plastic people?

Do You Too Feel Ashamed of Your Struggles Sometimes?

I have actually felt ASHAMED of weakness before. As if my struggle made me less of a Christian. As if I needed to hide it & cover it up so that no one would find out.

I don’t want my faith questioned.

But then, I have been reading the Bible every day for years now & I notice a pattern—the rough parts, the bad decisions, the moments of faith lacking… they aren’t sugarcoated in the Bible at all. They’re told, & used, to point people to where our TRUE strength, wisdom, confidence, grace, & HOPE come from—GOD, through Jesus Christ!

Their weaknesses exposed, their doubts are talked about, their mistakes are displayed, their decisions to trust themselves in place of God are discussed in detail… dumpster fire aftermath included.

Even the Ones We Put on Pedestals

Even the big heroes of the faith who are used as examples for us to follow made huge mistakes…sometimes knowingly—even them!

David, a man after God’s own heart—lusted, acted on it, & had her husband killed to cover it up, then DID NOT repent right away until confronted about it much later.

Jonah straight up RAN, even though it says he KNEW the people would turn from their wickedness back to God if he obeyed.

Abraham slept with his wife’s servant, at her suggestion… & caused understandable conflict with his wife & the servant… all because he doubted God’s promises.

Paul was given a huge second chance redemption story & then absolutely refused to give JohnMark a second chance, even though suggested by the same man (Barnabas) who had stood up for HIM when everyone was too afraid of his past.

And then, don’t even get me started on the Israelites, God’s chosen people. Sheesh, talk about setting a bad example.

The Bible, through God’s inspiration, does not share about a bunch of strong, perfect people, but of weak, imperfect people used by a grace-giving, all-powerful, loving GOD.

Living with Grace

How easily I can discount someone for being unfaithful to God, as if that hasn’t described me many a time in different seasons of my own life!

How easy it can be to sugarcoat our own shortcomings, instead of using these weaknesses as a stage for God’s grace & glory to be for us what we fail to be ourselves.

When the Bible talks about being “above reproach,” I do not think it is saying to pretend we never mess up, sugarcoat or mask when we do, pretending it never happened.

I think it means to do your best in every circumstance to live well-pleasing to God, but when you DO INEVITABLY mess it up… use it to point others to our hope in JESUS, not us.

NOT—“pretend to be perfect” to set a “good example.” People don’t need to see that you never struggle… they need to see that when you DO struggle, you know where to turn–to GOD, through Jesus.

Always Let Your Life Point to HIM

Think about it–Does your life demonstrate your own strength? Or His?

YES, do your best on all accounts to live in a way that honors God, pleases Him, & gives Him all the glory He deserves. YES.

But don’t hide your broken parts. Use them to let His goodness, His glory, & His grace shine through all the cracks of your life.

The Bible, inspired by God, doesn’t pretend… mask… sugarcoat… so neither should we.

No more happy plastic people. Give yourself (& others) permission to be a work in progress.

My Weaknesses for HIS Glory

Real, raw, forgiven by the grace of GOD, through Jesus Christ, our LORD!

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Shine HOPE by allowing yourself permission to not pretend, & to use your failings, your weaknesses, your insecurities, & your mistakes as platforms to demonstrate God’s unfailing wisdom, power, grace, love, & HOPE through JESUS.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for SIX years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

September 2024 Hope Mail (KENYA & INDIA)

Enjoy free shipping on your September Hope Mail package that includes our Ava Earrings handmade in Kenya, Spice Cake Lip Balm from India, and our celebratory Birthday Cake Sticker!

***Purchase this set, using the “Shop Here” link below to empower women in Kenya & India out of poverty!***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

I Am Not Going to Pretty Up the Truth

Now, this week’s topic may be off-putting to some of you. Part of it may even scare some of you, but I have never been one to try to pretty up something ugly for the sake of more “likes”… & today is no exception.

I have not had suicidal thoughts (for many years now, at least), but I have been thinking a lot about death. Maybe you remember my blog post “When Life Hits Hard, I Just Want Heaven.” That is in the same vein of where I am going with this today.

You see, I have come to a point where, without overanalyzing or freaking out first or anything… my first, initial gut reaction to certain hard situations has been: “I wish I could die. I am too weak for this world. I just want to die & go to heaven, so I don’t ever have to hurt again.”

It scares me sometimes when this is the first, gut reaction to something hard, & yet, there it is. I must point out that it usually only lasts a few moments & is gone & that while it can happen several times in a day to maybe once every other day, it is not continual. (I am not feeling that way right now, for example–nor has it happened yet today.) It also goes completely against my reasoning that it’s “not really even that bad.”

Have you ever felt that way? That the hurts of life just feel unbearable in some moments?

Sometimes Life Is Hard

Now, when I take the time to dissect this impulsive, immediate response, I can see that this is most likely the result of years & years of little hurts that were never dealt with–that became a part of my personal identity… but none of that backstory explanation comes up when that little thought pops up in my head at this point—just: “I wish I could just be dead already.”

If you’re anything like my husband, this sounds beyond too morbid a conversation, & I get that. I’m sorry.

But I know I am not the only one out there that has this feeling on occasion & maybe yours has already shifted to suicidal thoughts or planning. I sometimes honestly can understand why. When that thought assaults me, all I can think sometimes is: “I can see why someone would commit suicide. If I left this unchecked or had many times been assaulted by this thought in one day, I can see why someone would want to end it.” That’s what Satan wants us to hear.

Life is hard sometimes.

Sometimes the Little Things Can Hurt a Whole Lot

And it doesn’t always have to be that someone died or you’ve been assaulted… or experienced abuse.

Sometimes even the small stuff can seem overwhelming if it piles on enough.

I think the little things can be so rough because it can seem like, logically, they should really be no big deal & because you’re not dumb or clueless, you CAN recognize that quite clearly while still feeling as if your heart is being torn to shreds. This just makes you feel even weaker, like you can’t even handle the SMALL hurts. Like, wow… pathetic. That’s how I feel sometimes about it anyways.

It doesn’t help when people don’t get it because it clearly does not make sense, even to you, or when they fail to show any compassion. But you feel like you HAVE to be able to explain it or people just think you’re dramatic & out for attention or just straight up pathetic & annoying… the icing on the already awful cake. Like, it somehow seems easy &/or manageable to everyone else, but you can’t seem to handle it.

Because of these reasons & more, small things can hit pretty hard sometimes.

“How It All Began…”

I have been talking a lot about the past 12 years & how my insecurities followed me into marriage. Then, I lost my budding career & all I had was me feeling like a terrible housewife PLUS my pre-existing insecurities because I just had no clue where to start to improve. I felt like a failure all around. And then my husband was working overtime so much I barely saw him & then his capacity for my struggles was low, so I felt like I had to stuff it & hide it & pretend so that I wouldn’t add fuel to the “me being his wife as a huge mistake” idea.

“My struggles are my own. Keep it to myself. No one wants to hear them. I am a burden. I am a disappointment. I am too much.” -the script that ran through my brain.

“How It Continued…”

Then, I had all of these opinions from a large group of people singing the same tune suggesting the fact that I didn’t even fit in as a Christian. I felt like “I was never quite good enough. Never quite measured up. I was alone. I had nobody who believed in me–as if my faith was always in question because I didn’t do things the same way they did them.”

I began to question everything about myself as a “not good enough” Christian who never seemed to get it quite right.

“How It All Blew up in My Face…”

Then, recently, I had an unprecedented misunderstanding upon misunderstanding upon misunderstanding that never was allowed space for reconciliation or clarification. It seemed to become who I was viewed to be, as if I was now the “What now?” girl. “Like I am the problem. Like I am a headache. Like people just want me to keep it to myself & shut up already.” I know they may not think that (even to themselves), but that’s how it began to feel—like every time I spoke up, the subconscious reaction to me was: “What now?”

Well, when patterns emerge, it’s easy to think, “well, I was once capable & praised & acknowledged & appreciated before… but something about ME has changed apparently, because I can’t seem to please ANYONE doing the same thing as before. Was the previous a lie? Am I really this awful & annoying? Can I really not seem to ever get anything right anymore?”

Like: “I must be the problem.”

Everything piled on from the previous until I felt like I never seemed to be quite what people wanted me to be… like I was never quite enough for them… for anyone… like I was TOO MUCH to handle.

But Let’s Take a Closer Look

Now, if I take a closer look at those situations:

1. The marriage scenario was just my insecurities. Hardly anyone just starts out knowing exactly how to keep house & all that comes with that. It takes learning & growing. It takes grace.
2. The judging my faith based on following different manmade rules is just a difference in upbringing & views. It doesn’t mean I am not a “real” Christian because I listen to non-hymn worship music or wear shorts. It’s just a difference in opinion. Everyone is different. We’re all accountable to the same God & making sure we’re right with Him versus acting in rebellion is what matters–He is a faithful & wise Guide.
3. The misunderstandings are just that—misunderstandings. Does it hurt not to be sought to be understood? Sure. Does it define who I am based on their opinion of me? No, it doesn’t. I am still the same me, even if someone doesn’t see it or want to see it.

What am I Supposed to Do?

I am responsible to just try my best, one step at a time.

1. Where I see personal weaknesses as a wife, I will pray about it & let God grow & guide me to improve. Giving grace.
2. Where I see weaknesses or convictions in how my faith is lived out, I will pray about it & let God grow & guide me to improve. Giving grace.
3. Where others misunderstand me & refuse to change their view, I am just responsible to still be kind, to pray for them, & to still be a help to them, not holding their possible opinion of me against them. Giving grace.

Jesus Is Enough… When Sometimes I Think about Dying

And when that little thought washes in over me: “I wish I was just dead already. I am too weak to handle this hurt. I just want to be done with it & go to heaven already so I don’t have to feel this ever again,” I need to remember not to let any of that wash out what I know to be true:

I AM weak. I DON’T have it all together. I DON’T do everything perfectly. I DO make mistakes. I STILL have TONS more growing to do. I WILL be misunderstood sometimes.

But NONE of that changes the fact that JESUS covers ALL of it. GOD is strong when I am not. GOD has it all together. GOD is perfection & can help me every step of the way. GOD grows & shapes me as I surrender more of myself to Him for pruning. GOD knows ME & gave His Son, JESUS to die on my behalf so that I can be His daughter—a daughter of the true & holy & perfect KING.

No matter what anyone may think of me—the TRUTH remains–I am HIS.

Let yourself be imperfect. Give grace. Trust in Jesus to wash out the lies you let slip in & assault you. Believe in Truth. And SHINE HOPE.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for SIX years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Silver Bow Necklace (INDIA)

The Silver Bow Necklace creates safe jobs for women ending poverty cycles in India and creating the opportunity for them to earn a dignified income. This elegant necklace features a dainty silver bow on a simple chain. The Silver Bow Necklace is perfect for daily wear or paired with other ethical styles for a layered look.

***Purchase this necklace using the Shop Here” link below to help empower women in India out of poverty!!***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Help Financially Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

True Humility Breeds Confidence

I have talked about this before on my blog, but, considering last week’s topic of “How I Let My Light be Dimmed,” I thought it was appropriate to talk about it again because it seems to be something that is quite often confused.

Confidence is NOT the opposite of humility. In fact, true humility will breed confidence.

Pride is the opposite of humility. Timidity is the opposite of confidence. But humility & confidence, in their truest sense, will always exist harmoniously.

Why is that? Because true humility recognizes that we deserve nothing, that anything good in us is of Jesus Christ–not us, & that our true strength & worth come from Him alone.

And when you recognize that very true fact, it breeds true confidence, because true confidence is knowing that because all of that is true, even if you feel completely unfit & incapable, you know that He can do all things, so anything HE calls you to, HE will get you through. (God didn’t tell Moses to brush up on His turning water to blood skills… He told Him to be His mouthpiece & to let HIM do the miracle.) (Exodus 4:21)

I Don’t Handle Stressors Well

I became timid, more & more timid, over the last 10 years. And, as I mentioned, timidity is not the opposite of pride, but of confidence. Timidity says my faith in what God is capable of has waned. And that’s not a good thing.

No wonder I am so whiny all the time. No wonder I feel like I have to “self-medicate” my way through stress by turning to anything that makes me feel a sense of comfort, like binging tv, games, etc.

No wonder I often feel so beat up by life.

Honestly, I have been struggling. It’s come in waves… Guam last time… Hokkaido… healing beginning in Misawa… then a very rough year all around last year. Life has beat me up quite a few times over these past 10+ years.

Life Beat Me Up, So I Chose ME–Wrong Move

I have become terrible at dealing with stress. I feel like a weak, broken version of myself sometimes & it just feels upsetting. Tack on there my bad back & waves of really low energy days sometimes… & I just so often feel like a victim rather than a VICTOR in CHRIST.

I cry a lot more than usual. I feel despair & to be gruesomely honest, some hard days I just dream of having a heart attack so my weak self doesn’t have to feel so weak anymore & I can just enjoy heaven already. I feel too weak for this world sometimes. Too frail.

But doesn’t that really speak to the fact that my humility isn’t quite where it ought to be? My confidence is so frail because my humility is not right. I am thinking I need to fix it, but can’t… versus trusting His provision, care, & strength to be sufficient, even in the even if.

Because, if I better recognized where my true strength comes from, I wouldn’t be so sniveling & ready to die. I would be confident because I would know my strength is not determined by my strength, but by HIS.

Of Course I Need Him

It is true. Some circumstances, I have prayed & had the wisdom to see my need to call out to Him & He has helped me & I have sought to share testimony of that publicly whenever possible so that He may receive the glory & so that others may be reminded of their mutual need of Him.

It has not all been woe-is-me awful… but the general sense of me is almost this beating up of myself over & over again for always needing help-–as if reality for all of humanity is not all about needing His help every moment of every day, always.

When Life Hits Me Hard, I Just Want Heaven

Now, before you go worrying about me, I am not thinking about dying every day, all day. But when hard, stressful, or hurtful things slap me out of nowhere, through my secret, hidden tears, all I can think about is, “God, can I please just have a heart attack, die, & go to Heaven to be with You? I don’t want to feel this broken anymore.”

I’m not suicidal. But sometimes I really want to die. So morbid, I know… but it’s the truth. Not all the time, but when life hits me hard, I just want Heaven. That’s “my truth.” (If you were hoping to read my blog this week for a quick pick-me-up, well, I’m really sorry.)

My Prayer

“God, forgive me. My pride really has snuck up on me slowly & taken way too much from me. I actually have had the audacity of believing that because I don’t measure up… because people have been really critical of me… because others made me question whether or not to worship You because I became too afraid of ‘what if I’m doing it wrong’… because life was really hard & didn’t stop being hard… because others were unkind & hurtful to me… because life hit me hard with a brutally hard move & a super typhoon… that because of all that, I really thought I needed to take the reins of my life back, that maybe I wasn’t the “enough” I was supposed to be.…

… It wasn’t a conscious decision… it wasn’t a choice I mulled over & decided on… but I made the choice all the same…. I chose to trust me. What I could see, the hurt I felt, the confusion I felt, the hopelessness I felt. I chose to trust me.…

… Please forgive me, LORD. Please help grow my confidence through humility. Help me to rest in You so much that I have the confidence to face ANYTHING, knowing YOU are the reason for that confidence—not me. In Jesus’ worthy name, AMEN.”

Bye-Bye Humility Leads to Bye-Bye Confidence

Well, there it is. Now I know why I have felt so weak & fragile & broken so often lately.

Because I am… & because I have been trusting in what I thought I should be able to handle… trusting in me instead of Him.

Bye-bye humility leads to bye-bye confidence.

“Lord, I need You, oh, I need You… every hour I need You. You’re my One defense, my Righteousness… Oh LORD, how I need You.” (“Lord, I Need You” song by Matt Maher)

Shine HOPE, by breeding TRUE confidence in your life… confidence bred from a humility in recognizing that anything good or strong in you is from HIM, & because that is so, you can do & get through ANYTHING a VICTOR rather than a victim.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for over 5.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Desert Sage Studs (INDIA)

LIMITED EDITION – While Supplies Last! These dainty Desert Sage Studs from India feature a topaz circle set in a silver setting. Perfect for everyday wear, the adorable studs create lasting change for families in India. Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty where vulnerable women are often exploited by sweatshops.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!