Apprehensions, But God Is in Control

Well, this is it. In just 3 days, my husband & I will be flying to our new again home—Guam.

As you may remember, I wasn’t excited when I found out about this possibility a mere few months ago. I thought Guam was beautiful, of course, & I made some friends who invested in me as a friend… but life on Guam back in early 2010s was hard for me.

Maybe it was the fact that I was on the other side of the world from family & friends for the first time in my life.

Maybe it was figuring out being married & being a wife, learning to work together & communicate & work through tough things together for the first time.

Maybe it was my husband’s crazy work schedule that kept him away from home so incredibly often, leaving me alone on the other side of the globe (pre-smart phone & video calls, too, when all I had was a limited international calling plan).

Maybe it was feeling like an outsider—not hired staff, not local, not military… just fallen between the cracks in so many areas with a mostly absent husband.

Maybe it was a combination of all of that. Whatever it was—it was hard… & now I am moving back.

God Is Holding Me through It

I know circumstances are different now. I have been overseas for 10 years & am no longer a newbie at this. I have been married to Jamie for 10 years &, while still growing, as we always will as human beings, we are much more established in our relationship. His work schedule won’t be as crazy. Things have changed to better include outsiders like me. And… I own a smartphone now… with video calls.

But still, the trauma is there a bit & the apprehensions settle around this move.

Gratefully, God has–despite these apprehensions– helped me to have a better attitude with this move. He is giving me peace & helping me to just take one step at a time. He is helping me to trust Him & not worry, that even if it turns out just as bad (or worse), He has a plan & He can carry me through the potential storm.

I Don’t Play Baseball…

And here I am, just a few days away from leaving this country of Japan that has become our home these last 7 years & curveballs are swinging left & right & I feel emotionally & physically spent. I feel “out of batteries” as I like to say when I get to this point.

But I have more to do. Preparations have to be completed in just a couple more days before our flights. There is no time to quit or pause. It either gets done or left behind forever.

There are so many details that I couldn’t begin to share them all with you, as it would take hours to explain every facet of ever-needing-to-be-changed-or-adjusted details. It is seriously a whirlwind of information & details & needing to know more than the people who ought to know & inform me.

And I am out of batteries. I want to quit, if I am completely honest. I want to check out, curl up under the comforter–with it pulled over my head, cry until I get all the cries out & just sleep until it’s all over.

But I can’t. I have to be a grownup.

I Was Ready to Check Out

I didn’t want to write today. I wanted to toss it out with everything else I wanted to forget about to escape any & everything that could add to my pile, but God kept whispering over my heart ever so gently that even if I just share my prayer–my crying out to Him– that’s enough.

Because I am NOT enough.

But HE is.

I NEED Him

So, today, I leave you with my heart bare in prayer, laying down my weakness for His strength, my inability for His limitlessness, my burden for His care, & my dead batteries for His Almighty power:

“God. I am so tired. I am frustrated & a little angry. So much of this process has required us to know more than the ones we’re supposed to be able to call for help. How is that even possible? How are we supposed to plan & know if THEY don’t even know? I just can’t anymore. I am so tired & drained & I just don’t want to anymore. I can’t handle one more thing falling through or one more mistake due to misinformation or one more re-do because of that misunderstanding or one more authority unwilling &/or too uncaring to bother to help us when we NEED it. I can’t handle any more of it emotionally. I feel so drained. Please, God. You are the Author. You are Almighty. You can do anything. You KNOW everything. Please give me peace where peace seems impossible. Give me rest of heart. Renew my strength. Bolster my strength & resilience. Pave a way & fit the pieces together. Direct us to the ones who know & are willing & able to help us when we need it. Give us patience & a reminder to lean on You over quitting. Thank You for all You have already moved for us. Thank You for stepping in when all seemed lost along the way already. Thank You for being bigger than me, with more patience & wisdom & knowledge & power than me. Help me trust in that more. Be my strength. Get us to Guam. Please get our kitty to Guam safely, too, & watch over his nervous, scared little heart—comfort & calm him please Lord—I hate not being able to explain to him what is happening, so please care for him on our behalf. Help me to consider more Your plans for this move versus how it may or may not directly benefit me. Thank You for always being enough when I most definitely am not. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Shine HOPE by taking your human weaknesses & limitations to HIM.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Mosaic Clutch (Guatemala)

Made in Guatemala from upcycled traditional blouse fabric called Huipil, with each pattern symbolizing the village from which the woman came. (Colors & patterns vary widely.)

In Guatemala, women struggle through abuse & poverty. But these women are now becoming proud business owners! By utilizing their traditional skills, they are able to create beautiful products that reflect their culture. They can provide for their families at home rather than leaving home in search of work & can also send their children to school to pursue their dreams. This is because people like you purchase their work!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Guatemala!

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

I Live with Depression

If you have been following my journey for a little while now, you probably know that I struggle with depression.

Depression has been a regular companion of mine for the most of my life & ebbs & flows with the severity of its symptoms. Sometimes I just feel worn out & a little out of it, other times I have brain fog that makes me go numb & check out, while other times sink me into a dark hole so deep I fear I may never come back out again.

I always understood depression to be only the last one I mentioned above, but depression takes on different forms in different phases of life.

But one thing I have learned in this lifetime battle is that depression is the devil’s playground.

Sometimes I Feel Like a Broken Human

Depression makes me vulnerable. When at its worst, I feel I lack any value because of how checked out I feel in any given situation. I don’t feel I can be “on” for people—you know, humor people & smile at socially appropriate times & be engaging & fun. I just feel numb—so numb that I feel broken.

The regular me becomes trapped under layers of uncaring numbness from the lack of serotonin &/or dopamine. I am still me, just with a thick cloud of numbness engulfing my passions & ambitions.

Because of this, I feel helpless when it gets bad. I feel stuck & trapped & sometimes like I am drowning.

Misunderstood

And people typically don’t get it—understandably. And they want me to just turn “on” & stop acting that way… when I genuinely can’t.

I mean, I got pretty good at acting back in my first two years of high school, after receiving many “looks” & unwelcome responses… but deep down, I knew I was lying to everyone around me, drowning in it alone… misunderstood.

All of these outcomes of depression often make me vulnerable & insecure… misunderstood.

I want to be what people want from me. I want to be the ambitious, determined, friendly person buried in all the blah, but I just can’t… & again, it makes me feel broken, beyond repair… misunderstood.

Depression: The Devil’s Playground

And Satan knows & sees all that vulnerability & insecurity in my weakest phases of my depression.

He knows the lies to whisper to me late at night, reminding me of the weird looks or responses from friends & family who don’t understand why I have inexplicably changed… why I am not as engaging or friendly or “on.”

And because I am in a vulnerable state during my lows, it’s so easy to believe those lies & that shame… & withdraw, thinking their lives would be better & less of a burden without me in it… that’s why depression is oftentimes associated with suicide, because, if left unchecked, believing all of the torrent of lies satan pours on your head… it can feel completely helpless & hopeless of any relief.

But I have to be on guard even more when the lows make their rounds back again, taking up the armor OF God (Ephesians 6), determining to grasp onto God’s Truth as my lifeline—because it is.

Cling to Truth

I have to remind myself of verses I have learned. I have to remember to pray instead of withdrawing & giving up. I have to be diligent in shutting out those little whispered lies of hurtful stabs to my heart.

Depression is the devil’s playground because he likes to kick when we’re down. He likes to exploit our weak spots & insecurities. He likes to lie & say people are better off without us burdening them with our brokenness.

BUT THEY ARE LIES.

And I have to determine to cling to Truth so I don’t get sucked into the vortex of shame, brokenness, & pain.

God As My Anchor

I have to determine to remind myself that IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY.

I have to find a friend who is a safe space who will remind me of that & pray with me through it & not demand I shape up or get out… to sit with me in the lows & not need me to be “on” for them to keep me around.

Right now, I am not drowning. I am not in the deep end.

But I feel it. I feel the claws of numbness reaching out to me.

I feel the uncaring, checked out feelings hovering over me.

And I am determining to not give in to become the devil’s playground… to instead stop, accept my weakness as human & cry out to the almighty God for His mighty hand to hold me & keep me going.

Victory In Jesus

Depression used to feel like a curse… like something I would not wish on my worst enemy. A deep void of nothingness & pain.

But I have grown to see it a little differently over the last few years, as I have learned how much of the pain is from giving in to believing satan’s lies versus the depression itself.

That depression makes me weak & vulnerable, yes.

But that the reality is: we are all weak & vulnerable… trying our best to be strong & capable—getting us into trouble. And depression reminds me of my humanity… that victory comes only in Jesus.

A Curse Turned Blessing

Depression reminds me of my very real human need for God.

Depression reminds me that I am not God… but that He IS.

Depression reminds me of my need to learn & to tuck His Truth inside my heart.

Depression reminds me that I am just human & that that is all I am really meant to be—human.

Depression reminds me of why I need Jesus. I am weak. I am flawed. But I am offered grace because of Him.

I Need Him… & Depression Reminds Me of That

He is God. I am not.

He can. I can’t.

I need Him. You need Him. We ALL NEED HIM.

And our reliance should be on HIS ability, not our own.

So, I don’t hate my depression anymore.

Do I enjoy being reminded of my human weakness? No, not really.

But do I enjoy being regularly reminded of my need for Him? Definitely yes.

It’s Okay to Need God’s Help… Because, in Reality? We ALL Do

If you struggle with depression—with lower-than-normal levels of serotonin &/or dopamine, know that it’s okay not to be okay… that it’s okay to be weak… that it’s okay to need God’s help.

Don’t allow satan to play with your vulnerabilities. Don’t let him lie to you & manipulate you.

Determine to cling to God for help, in prayer. Determine to cling to Truth & God’s armor, as laid out for us in Ephesians.

And don’t let your depression become a playground for the devil.

“God Is Our Refuge & Our Strength… Our Very Present Help in Time of Trouble” (Psalm 46)

If you don’t struggle with depression, don’t expect your friends to always be “on” for you. Let them know it’s okay to just BE sometimes… that you would rather have them with you like that rather than to keep your distance. Be their safe space. Pray WITH them, FOR them—when you are weak & vulnerable & feel broken, sometimes it feels like you’re drowning too much to pray—so pray WITH & FOR them.

You don’t have to know the answers & be what they need, because you know the One who does know the answers & Who IS what they need.

Shine HOPE by placing your cares on Him, for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Andean Drop Earrings & Andean Ring

Handcrafted by our newest Artisan partners in Peru, this 24k gold-plated, natural chrysocolla stone ring can be worn alone as a stunning statement piece or paired with our Andean Drop Earrings. Hammered metal & natural variations of swirling green chrysocolla add “Old World” charm to this ethically made ring. Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages in areas of extreme poverty in Peru.

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Parenting Is No Easy Task

Parenting is hard work. It comes with many blessings, for sure, but it cannot be denied that it takes intentional effort & investment into the lives of the littles in your care.

I may not seem qualified at all to talk about parenting, having no children of my own, but I do know that as a fellow human, even without the extra challenges of motherhood, life is hard sometimes & I need God’s help.

Even knowing I need His help, I so often struggle doing life on my own without seeking God’s help right away, & I often see mothers struggle the same way… getting exhausted & losing their cool, sinking in stress, not considering the role God must have in the parenting journey.

I don’t know about you, but it’s much easier for me to react to situations versus prayerfully respond, & I can guess with fair certainty that if I were a mother, that would not immediately change.

God Is with You… Be Still & Know That HE Is GOD

So, I am here to remind you that you don’t have to do it alone.

Even if you have a spouse who doesn’t help out or a father who is out of the picture… even if friends & family don’t come around you… you don’t have to do it alone.

Even on nights where tears of frustration &/or exhaustion are your only companion… you don’t have to do it alone.

Even when the nerves are shot & nothing seems to work & “it’s just the way it is” & it’s the last straw… you don’t have to do it alone….

There IS hope.

Our Struggle Does Not Define Us or Our Lives… God Is Able

Consider my depression. If I am not careful, it becomes my identity, much like mothers who assume the identity of a tired, frayed, can’t-handle-it mom. Our struggles can begin to cling on to our lives like a label of reality we can’t escape.

But God is GOD. He is ALMIGHTY. He is ALL-WISE, ALL-KNOWLEDGEABLE, & ALL-POWERFUL… AND, to top it all off, His actions, His very being is defined by His LOVE.

He can move in the impossible. He can work solutions that weren’t even considered. He can make things happen where there seems no hope &/or no solution.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be able to control every action or behavior. You don’t have to live feeling like a failure.

You have HIM.

Surrender Your Parenting to Him

Surrender ‘those’ days & ‘those’ nights to Him.

Surrender that stress to Him.

Surrender your anxiety & frustrations to Him.

Surrender the “it’s just the way it is” thoughts to Him.

Surrender your parenting to Him.

“HOW?!?” …You may ask….

Pray. Talk to Him about it. Lay it down at His feet, opening up your heart & admitting your struggle & need for Him. Admit to Him & to yourself that where you can’t, He can. Where you see no way, He makes a way.

Bow Your Needs to HIM As Your GOD

Ask Him continually & daily in prayers somewhat like this:

“God, I can’t do this. I feel like a terrible Mom right now. I can’t do anything right. I try to teach them & they don’t listen. Chores never end. I am tired & stressed & just feel like a failure! But You are GOD. I am not, but You ARE. Help me. Give me Your peace that goes beyond understanding. Teach me. Grow me. Help me to honor You in how I respond to this. Help me know HOW to respond to this & empower me to do it right! I react but I want to prayerfully respond in a way that honors You, trusting You to help me in it. Help me learn how to do that. Help me parent. Help me surrender my parenting to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

A Prayer for the Supermom, Too

Maybe you don’t feel stressed with your kids. Maybe you feel capable & strong & like you know what you’re doing. Let me give you another call—surrender that to Him, too.

What seems wise to us is often foolishness to God. It seems right in our own eyes, but we don’t see the whole picture. Only God does. So surrender that capableness to Him, too.

“God, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on this parenting thing, but I want You running the show. I want You guiding my words & my actions & the lessons I teach—not human wisdom… YOURS. Help humble me & allow me to listen for Your guidance over my own. Help me to slow down & bow to Your leading. Thank You for Your patience with me & that You always know best, even when I think I do. Thank You that I can always trust You. Help me trust in that better & to lead with You as my guide… not me. In Jesus’ name, I pray, AMEN.”

The Importance of Intentionally Surrendered Parenting

Some days will be hard. Some days it will feel easier to just not be intentional… to just take a break from trying. Some days you will feel like supermom.

But every day, you ought to surrender your parenting to Him.

Shine HOPE by determining to INVEST moment-by-moment into Your children, raising them up in the way they should go… BY & THROUGH prayer & a surrender to Him in it ALL.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Green Tea & Jasmine Soap Bar

Make every day a spa day for someone you love or make this month a little sweeter & treat yourself to the refreshing natural floral scent & cleansing benefits of our Green Tea & Jasmine Soap Bar from India. Made with essential oils of Green Tea & Jasmine blended with moisturizing natural coconut oil, olive oil, & shea butter, this luxurious soap will delight your senses!

In India, many women in traditional communities still struggle to overcome centuries of gender discrimination. Women are often discouraged from working outside the home. Women with disabilities are often further marginalized by society, making it even more difficult for them to find dignified work & making them even more vulnerable to exploitation by sweatshops. But through your purchase, these artisans are given opportunities to overcome these obstacles & succeed!

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

We’re All Broken in Our Own Way

For me, it’s always been easy to look at the highlight reel of other ladies’ lives on social media, especially those living to proclaim the grace of Jesus, & forget that they are broken humans just like me.

You may feel like ”broken” is a strong word, but their brokenness may be from wrong choices, rebellion from God, trauma of their past, etc., but every person has a form of brokenness… just like me.

Maybe you observe me & see my smiling face on my videos or my weekly blog posts, running for the last 4 years (how has it already been 4 years?!) & you mistakenly believe I am the something to strive for… as if I am the finished product & you’re the broken, work-in-progress.

But I assure you that it couldn’t be further from reality. We all have areas we’re stronger in than others & it’s easy to see those strong, already-grown-in-areas in others & forget that they also have weak areas, too.

God Helps Me in My Weaknesses & Human Brokenness

I may have stuck with this blog for 4 years, but not without a lot of procrastinating, kicking & screaming & then eventual submission to God’s help on my part.

And aside from my I’d-rather-just-skip-it-&-be-lazy tendencies, I have so many scars & hurt areas of my heart that God has had to lead me through.

Like we talked about last week, I had to be willing to submit those hurt areas to Him for help, but I wasn’t always willing.

The Pride of Refusing God’s Help

You would think if I was hurting, that I would quit my way for His, but oftentimes, I find comfort in my bitterness because it feels like it’s deserved. It is hard to trust my hurts to someone else, even if that someone else is God.

I want to feel angry when I’ve been hurt. I don’t want to let it go because it feels like I am letting the offender off the hook when I do.

Because of this stubborn pride, I created some of my own scars, just from refusing to be helped by God.

Some of My Many Scars Where God Helped Make Me Whole

I have been sexually assaulted by a friend whom I trusted.

I have struggled in the past with feelings that I was too fat & ugly to ever be loved.

When I was younger, I felt my identity was as “The Flirt” because I felt it was how I fit in… Trapped by a fear to never let my guard down to show the real me or risk losing my friend group.

I have gone through such loneliness that I refused to pray anymore because I was so bitter & angry that God didn’t make my discomfort go away, versus trusting Him to be my enough in it.

I have had to walk away from & break the heart of someone I loved because God clearly said NO, when I so desperately wanted Him to say yes, feeling the harsh sting of heartbreak.

I have felt lost & swimming through life, not knowing where I fit in or what my purpose was, not feeling clear direction in any certain way.

I have faced 2 years+ of depression in my past, where suicide thoughts were daily & I felt like my very existence was a burden on those I loved.

I have been betrayed by friends whom I trusted with my everything.

I could go on & on, but one very important fact must shine out to you from all of that—God has been faithful through every bit of it.

But, GOD IS FAITHFUL

I don’t have my life all together. I fail & choose wrongly way too often. I choose my “wisdom” over God’s more often than not. I am selfish & proud towards God, & have given Him far too many reasons to just quit on me & move on for good….

But God is faithful. He is patient & kind. He takes my brokenness & He makes me whole.

Every time I have faced any of those things, no matter how long it took me to come to Him—when I did, He was faithful & forgiving & all I needed through making me whole despite whatever it was.

I am where I am, running this blog & a social media community not because I am the prime example, but because despite my brokenness, He makes me whole.

He heals. He forgives. He restores. He gives purpose. He strengthens. He comforts.

He makes me whole.

God Makes Me Able

So, when you see some Christian woman leading a group to encourage women toward Jesus, even much more successfully than my humbly small little group, don’t look at her as the prime example either.

See her as a fellow human with broken parts made whole by the power & love & grace of Jesus, empowered & led by Him to serve Him as she does.

Every week, ashamedly, is a battle of the wills for me—Obey God or lay on the couch scrolling random videos on social media. Obey God or watch tv with snacks. Obey God or waste my time away doing literally anything else I can think of.

Do I submit typically? Yes. But not immediately, not without His help & sometimes not even willingly.

My Prayers Usually Sound Something Like:

“God, I’m sorry I don’t want to do this. I know it would maybe encourage others, if they even read it. I know maybe it points to you even though it feels no one cares. I know it’s important to be consistent & to keep showing up, to show that You are faithful, even when I fail. But I don’t wanna. I want to be lazy & selfish & have an easier time without work I don’t even get paid for. I don’t have a boss to answer to. I could just quit. I’m sorry for only wanting to think about myself & my ease. I’m sorry for such shallow motives. Please forgive me. Help me submit to You more readily. Help me do this. Help me to show up for You. HELP ME. I’m sorry I am so selfish. Please forgive me & please help me. My weakness for Your glory, always. In Jesus’ name, I pray: AMEN.”

Nothing Is Beyond His Reach

No matter how broken I have felt in my past, nothing has been beyond His reach… Nothing has been beyond His ability to heal & to turn to my good.

God is faithful. He loves you. He knows your broken parts & He can help make you whole.

Offer those broken parts of yours up to Him. Don’t shoulder them as ”just the way it is.”

Let Him take you broken parts & make you whole.

Don’t Hold God Back from Taking Your Broken Parts & Making You Whole

Do you feel trapped or controlled or limited by your broken parts?

Do you feel it’s “just the way it is”?

Do you look at others as “the finished product” versus a fellow work-in-progress?

Let God heal. Submit your weaknesses to Him & ask Him to work through them for His glory.

Ask God to help you trust Him more than “the way it is.”

Ask Him to help you see others through the lens of HIS glory through their human weaknesses versus their own supposed strength/glory.

And shine HOPE by trusting that God can take YOUR broken parts & make you WHOLE for HIS glory.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

Thank YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Zoya Earrings

Zoya means “shining, life” in Hindi. These stylishly stunning gold-toned earrings are handcrafted in India, featuring genuine freshwater pearls on a delicate linked-chain design. Every purchase provides fair-trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

I Always Wished for “Childlike Faith”

I have always hated how stubborn & prone to doubts I am naturally. I always wished I could have a childlike faith, but always questioned & always doubted.

I am not a “get it right on the first try” type of person.

And while this prideful attitude of questioning God at every turn has made my life so much more difficult than it needed to be, & while I fail so much & am hard on myself because I recognize how many times I just am not good enough….

I cannot share my vulnerabilities of failures, doubts, anxieties, insecurities, hesitation, & pride without also sharing just how much I have seen God grow me throughout the years.

It may take me longer than most people, but when I finally concede to letting God in & letting Him have His way in my life… I see Him do great things in me.

I’d Say I’m a Slow Learner

It took 2 years of depression, thinking about suicide frequently because of how tormenting my brain was to me, for me to realize that even if I felt I had lost everyone’s support &/or belief in me, had lost my reputation, failed at everything I tried, had no strength or energy or will to go on… even then, He was enough & filled where I felt it was impossible for me to be filled: The deep, dark hole in my life that felt more like a black hole sucking joy consistently out of me each day.

I fought Him & He never gave up on me, even after 2 years of trying my own way to “find happiness.” He knew that every time He tried to prove Himself to me, as I asked of Him, I dismissed it & credited something or someone else. No, He knew He had to slowly strip away every security blanket I had in order to show me that even with those things washed away, HE WAS ENOUGH–that THAT is what it would take to finally shut up the torment of my doubts in Him.

God worked a change in me despite my 2 years of resistance. He never gave up on me.

I Thought I Knew “Who I Was,” But I Was Wrong–But GOD KNEW

And then there was my identity fears that I was never enough, that “no one would be able to stand being married to me because I am too much baggage.” That I am “a burden.”

I didn’t go to God with those hurts & fears as my gut response. No, I dressed for attention & flirted my way into friendships, letting innuendos lead the way. And I got hurt–not entirely my fault, but also was not a complete innocent in the equation, either.

Until I finally cried out to God for help with my identity as “The Flirt,” recognizing finally that if He actually made me, then HE would KNOW who I am “supposed to be.” HE would know how to make me feel whole & content & confident being ME versus the superficial persona I had created for attention.

And again, God slowly, gently led me to no longer want to participate in the raunchy jokes for attention. It seemed fake & stupid. I wanted to be genuinely liked, rather than having people like the FAKE me. It was so scary at the thought of losing all of my friends, but slowly I wasn’t so concerned with that anymore if it meant freedom to just be me & have that be enough.

God worked a change in me through my willingness to let Him (vs. me or anyone else, for that matter) determine TRUTH. He never gave up on me.

God Never Gives Up on Me

It may take me longer than most people, with me fighting to try my own way, “I can do it! Let me try!” But God is patient & kind & ready when I am willing to cry out to Him finally as my help.

I may be a mess & I know sometimes I probably talk about it so much that you’re starting to roll your eyes & think to yourself, “we get it, Michelle, you’re a mess.”

But the story doesn’t end there. I may go from one mess to another, but I don’t stay there because God never gives up on me.

He Pursues My Heart

He pursues my heart, offers gentle convictions, beckons me to just stop trying myself & to just turn to Him finally instead, as my help & as my only true source of hope.

He grows me. He strengthens me. He reassures me. He reinforces the many reasons I have to trust Him with everything. He teaches & guides & leads me… when I finally let Him.

I am a mess at times. It’s true. I will probably keep the eye rolls coming on your end because my failures are mostly guaranteed not to end any time soon.

But don’t miss the vein of GRACE & growth from God that weaves through each & every season & story of my many failures.

He Won’t Ever Give Up on You, Either–That’s a Promise

God doesn’t give up on me… WON’T give up on me.

And He will never give up on you either.

Let Him change you from the inside out. Fail forward, with His grace & His help & His strength.

Let Him be your ENOUGH.

Shine HOPE by allowing yourself to admit failure, shortcomings, doubts, etc., & just cry out to Him… showing the world that no matter the mess you (or they) may be, GOD IS ENOUGH.

And God will NEVER give up on them, on you, or on me. THANK YOU, GOD!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Silver Medallion Necklace (India)

This textured silver-tone chain from India can be worn separately or layered with other necklaces from our One World Collection. The uniquely textured pendant adds the perfect artistic touch. Every purchase provides fair-trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

In India, poverty often leads to exploitation of vulnerable Artisans in sweatshops. Every purchase provides these Artisans with fair wages, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members.

Purchase this necklace & empower an Artisan in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Feeling Like a Grump

Have you ever had one of those days (or weeks) where you just feel cranky?

That’s me this week. I am more short-tempered & don’t feel like I have patience for “long-suffering patience” with others.

I feel teleported back to my teenage days where the popular saying was “talk to the hand.” I just don’t feel I have patience for anything or anyone.

How do I honor God in my interactions with others when I feel so grumpy & DONE?

How do I treat others kindly, serving one another in love? … When all I want to do is tune everyone out & hide under a blanket in bed?

I Want to Have a Temper Tantrum & Just Take a Nap

I guess I am not too much different than a little kid sometimes. Yeah, maybe I have grown in covering up my grumpiness most times & I can usually manage it more maturely, but sometimes I just really don’t want to bother.

Can you relate?

Whether it’s a series of unfortunate events, where stress is the culprit, throwing me off balance & building tension where there is otherwise ease… whether someone unexpectedly gets short with me… or whether it’s a lack of sleep or even PMS… some days just feel harder than others to get through with the sort of patient loving-kindness that God asks of me.

And being responsible in preparing healthier meals, doing my morning walks, spending time in prayer, doing a workout, or anything else even remotely beneficial to me feels like the absolute LAST thing I want to be doing when a bowl of ice cream & a tv screen seem so much more appealing.

I just want to take a nap.

Low Threshold for Annoyances &/or Inconveniences

Well, that’s been me these last several days. Of course, I have had some laughs & some good moments, but my threshold for things that aggravate or throw me off seems to be a lot lower lately & I don’t even know why—probably the inconsistent sleep I’ve gotten this week.

And yet, that doesn’t change the fact that I have to make a choice: Will I choose to honor God with this poor attitude, slumping into Him in defeat & asking for His help to do better when I don’t want to?

Or will I choose to say, “Forget it. I am going to eat bad as my high, avoid all responsibility, & not bother hiding my general annoyance with the world”?

What will I choose?

I Don’t Always Make the Right Choice

Well, I will tell you this much… I certainly don’t always surrender my bad attitude to God’s help.

I too often choose the second option.

I self-shield, blocking out anything that bothers me or doesn’t add to my comfort.

I self-soothe, rehearsing the annoyances in my mind, justifying my bad behavior & sour attitude.

I self-solve, turning to other things for a temporary “high” to make me feel better in the moment—like television, video games, food, mindless video-watching online (one after the other after the other until I finally look up from my phone & realize 3 hours have gone by).

What I often fail to do is self-surrender.

I Ought to Pray

I often fail to take all of that ick, all of that grumpy, impatient tension & surrender it at God’s feet in prayer, saying something like:

“God, hi, it’s me. I feel so ick lately. Everyone & everything is annoying me. I feel tense & frustrated & annoyed & I just want it all to leave me alone. I just feel tired. I don’t want to be nice when I feel like this. I want to let everyone know to leave me alone, closing myself off. But I know Satan uses that want against me. He knows I struggle with depression & all he wants is to isolate me until I am sinking in muck I can’t seem to escape. It feels justified though. It feels safe. But I know it’s a lie. I also don’t want Your help. I want to just ooze comforts over all the tension & block it out & ignore & avoid it. I don’t want to face it. I don’t want to deal with it. I want a “high” to boost my spirits—maybe ice cream or fast food… or mindless tv staring. But I know that won’t fix anything. It will hover over me… it will begin to become the thing I have to actively stuff into the bottom of my heart until it numbs me. God help me. Help me honor You in this ick. Help me not compromise. Help me not to turn to other things as my help or try to “fix” it my way. Help me trust You with it. Help be my strength & peace. Help me cling to You as my help. Help me treat others with patience & kindness, not taking out my bad attitude on anyone I come across. Help me express Your love to others even when I feel unloving. Fill in where I lack. Forgive me. Be my help. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Some Days Are Just Plain Hard to Be a Nice Person… In My Own Strength

Some days are hard.

Some days I just feel like smacking everyone who even looks at me funny.

Some days I want to spend it hidden under a blanket in bed.

Some days I want to seek out that “high” that might make it feel all okay, at least for a little while.

Some days are just hard.

But God IS enough.

I Have to be WILLING to Accept God’s Help to Handle the Ick HIS Way

But frankly, I HAVE to be WILLING to ACCEPT His help, His way, His solution… & not just ASK for it!

Trust me, some days I just want to pray & have Him just fix it… in fact, most days that’s what I want to happen.

But sometimes, God wants to show me that He can be my peace & strength EVEN WHEN those storms still threaten to wreck me.

Just One of Those Days

So, when it’s just one of those days–cling to Him.

Determine to go to Him AND ONLY HIM as your help.

Let Him help you versus clinging to the, “but I don’t feel like it.”

Surrender to His help. LET Him help you.

He won’t force you, but He will certainly help you… if you are willing to ask for & accept it.

Shine HOPE—even on the dark days—by determining to LET HIM BE your HOPE, strength & peace… & to love others through you… even when you don’t feel like it.

Amen & amen.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Ellora Necklace (1 of 2 Shown–Hand-Crafted in India)

This set of two adjustable gold-toned necklaces can be worn separately or together. Mixing classic styles together by layering a freshwater pearl & a golden coin pendant (not shown) make these delicate necklaces on-trend.

In India, poverty often leads to exploitation of vulnerable women in sweatshops. Every purchase provides these Artisans with fair wages, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members.

Purchase this necklace & empower an Artisan in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

I’m Not the Person for the Job

Lately, I have been doing a lot more reflection on the fact of my undeserving to represent God to you.

I am just an average person. You may look at me in awe, wondering how I can display the discipline & ambition to start & run a website, with a social media community to boot, but I am just an average person.

I get complimented regularly for these accomplishments, for which I am so grateful because the encouragement is often just the motivation I need that day, but you need to know the truth about me.

My go-to is not to edify, build up, or encourage. My default ambition is not to reach out & inspire & pray for.

Quite the contrary.

I Choose Me So Often, It’s Embarrassing

When I am given the choice, my ambition only serves ME. I look out for ME, MY comfort, & MY selfish heart.

I would rather stay in pajamas on the couch, all day, with the worst-for-me, delicious snacks, watching tv & playing video games.

I would rather not go out of my comfort zone… like at all.

I would rather eat out for most every meal & avoid any & all responsibilities.

I would rather forget the needs of every other person & only serve myself.

Like I said, I am not special… I am just an average person… maybe worse than.

Sincere, But So Weak to My Selfishness for Comforts

But at the same time, I am not insincere in my efforts of these pursuits to encourage & edify you as you seek to know & love God more. It’s important to me & of great value in my heart.

But it for sure takes surrender some days. And then some of those days, it takes REAL BIG surrender… “kicking & screaming temper tantrum because “I DON’T WANNA!” surrender.

My selfishness will rear up, my greed to waste my time away at my own choosing. I don’t like being uncomfortable or stretching myself or being vulnerable or reaching out to others who haven’t asked for it. I like staying safe in the known, versus risking the unknown.

God Pursues My Heart & Beckons Me to Take His Hand in Surrender

But deep down, there’s a gentle whisper behind the waves of my tantrum… “Michelle, you know this is your sin talking, trying to take over your life to live just for you. But what kind of life would that be, Michelle? Empty. Meaningless. Purposeless. You know that’s not truly what you want. You need to surrender these strong feelings of temptation & fear to Me. You need to trust Me to help you overcome them. Let Me help you. Don’t waste away your life with selfish ambition. Submit to Me & find life.”

It’s not exact words. It’s not a voice that I hear. But it’s like this feeling, like truth whispering behind the storm… beckoning me to trust God to help me through the temptation to quit everything & live selfishly, aimlessly, fruitlessly for myself.

To trust God instead.

I Wanted So Badly to Just Believe & Obey… But That Was Not My Story

I am no model Christian.

A majority of my growing up years, I was plagued, no… TORMENTED… by doubts that raged & threatened & harassed me every single day… me wanting so badly to find that I could toss it all out upon finding out it’s all a hoax so I could just live my way, live like everyone else I envied.

I hated that I needed evidence for EVERYTHING.

I hated that I couldn’t just have “childlike faith.”

I hated that I couldn’t just accept it like everyone else at church seemed to so easily be able to do.

But when God finally answered me once & for all, slicing through every doubt to prove Himself worthy of my surrender, worthy of my awe & respect, worthy of my unquestioned obedience, through His beautiful plan… I still find ways to shut Him out.

I Trust the Blessings from God Sometimes More Than I Trust God

I get comfortable with the blessings He gives me, then I begin to covet the comfort those blessings supply… worship & idolize that comfort… pulling away & hardening myself against God to cling to that comfort.

And yet God loves me. He is patient & kind. He doesn’t keep a list of my wrongs. He is quick to forgive. He is gracious & long-suffering. (1 John 4:8; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

And no matter how many times He proves Himself in my life, I still hold back… my default is still so often to choose ME.

God Called & God Provides… When I Am Willing to Surrender My Will/Fear for His Help

I don’t deserve this role. I don’t deserve to come & encourage you. I don’t deserve this.

But He called me anyway. And He provides & walks with me through it.

And when the storm of angry, selfish rebellion threatens to dismantle the whole thing, I have learned that when I allow that quiet whisper to bring me to my knees in surrender to God’s help, He never withholds it from me.

Surrender, It Truly Is

And surrender it truly is. Surrender in a war between what is right & good against my own personal selfishness & fear & limitations.

God loves me too much to let me have my way. He knows the dark path that leads me to. He knows that quitting triggers patterns of self-indulgence, isolation, & eventually depression.

He KNOWS.

I know. And I still fight Him.

I am not worthy.

If I didn’t surrender to let God help me, I would choose me a shameful amount of the time.

I am not the better Christian, the shining example. I am a sinner saved by grace, still a work in progress, learning more & more my need for daily surrender.

A Prayer of Surrender

And oftentimes, my prayers sound something like this:

“I hear You, God. I hear that whisper, that gentle whisper, a breeze across my heart of the truth. But I feel desperate to forget anyone & everything that doesn’t serve me right now in this moment. I want more snacks. I want soda, not water. I want to eat out. I want to stay in pajamas & binge tv versus my blog or encouraging a friend or anything else truly worthy of my time & efforts. I want to completely avoid any & all responsibility. I don’t want to care about anything but me…. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I want so badly to reject You again & live for me, even if it destroys me. I’m sorry I want that. Please forgive me. Don’t let go of me. Hold on when I don’t feel I can… when I don’t feel I want to. Be my strength. Help me see You do this for my good. I know it & You know it, but help me choose Your will for my good over this temporary instant gratification that we both know will lead me down a dark path I don’t want to go down. Help me choose to trust You. I want to! Please help me let go & take Your path. Walk with me. Show me the way. Be my strength. Thank You for never, ever giving up on me. You are so wonderful. Your grace is beyond my deserving. Thank You. In Jesus’ powerful, wonderful name… AMEN.”

What About You?

So, if this isn’t you, you’ve got more potential than me. Don’t waste it. Let God use your willingness to trust & follow His lead.

But if you are like me, there IS hope. God can take you each step. God won’t give up on you. His loving, faithful, forgiving, grace-filled pursuit of us is relentless & life-giving.

I am just an average person loved & helped by an Almighty God.

Shine HOPE by letting Almighty God use your life for good, even if you’re just an average person like me.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out the newly added Journal Printables & updated Resources & Recommendations page!***)

This blog/website has been running for over THREE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Ellora Necklace Set

This set of two adjustable gold-toned necklaces can be worn separately or together. Mixing classic styles together by layering freshwater pearl & a golden coin pendant make these delicate necklaces on-trend.

In India, poverty often leads to exploitation of vulnerable women in sweatshops. Every purchase provides these Artisans with fair wages, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members.

Purchase this necklace & empower an Artisan in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Truth Over Culture

We need to step out & be a little counter-culture here today. We need to recognize that just because something is permeating culture–no matter how “church-y” it may sound–it doesn’t make it true.

Have you ever heard someone quote the saying, “God would never ask you to do something unless He knew you could do it” or maybe “God asked you to do it because He knew you could do it”?

While well-meaning, these statements couldn’t be further from the truth. Let’s talk about it.

“My Grace Is Sufficient”

Even in dealing with a thorn in one’s side that you can’t seem to get rid of, as in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9, God asks us to do & face things all the time that we cannot possibly do… without Him.

And even things we THINK we can do just fine, are usually not done to their potential because we’re trying to do it withOUT Him… in our OWN strength or our OWN wisdom.

He wants us to recognize His help in our lives. He wants us to see our real need of Him.

And when we face seemingly impossible things, we are often forced to reckon with the fact that we CAN’T… & we’re given a beautiful opportunity to see His CAN.

When we stop relying on ourselves & our abilities, we see how much greater He is than us… How infinitely capable, even of the “impossible.”

God Knows That HE Is Able

The God-asked-you-to-do-it-because-He-knew-you-were-able lie is so prevalent on social media, seeing it on cute graphics shared even by Christian sources & can sometimes be heard in churches because it SOUNDS so true, but the important distinction to be made here is this:

God asked you to do it because He knew HE was able, NOT because you are.

We need to stop basing our lives on what we are capable of & begin framing everything around that of which HE is capable.

When I Face a Dead-End in His Lead… He Has a Plan

For example, I had no experience designing a website before this blog came to be, but I felt God’s nudge in this direction, & so I prayed & asked Him to provide the guidance & help I would need to follow His lead. And soon after, I came across an ad for training for just such a thing & in a budget with which I was comfortable!

God knew I couldn’t—I had no experience, no know-how, no means of carrying out His plan… But because I knew He had asked it of me, I knew also that He had a plan in place to make it happen.

Avoiding God’s Lead Because I Am Not Able

Another example… I have been avoiding helping with childcare at our church. First, it was because the monthly disappointment of no pregnancy, after months of working with a doctor toward that goal, was still fresh in my heart & working with others’ children felt like fresh jabs at still-healing wounds… but then it just got easy to avoid the uncomfortable… it became my cop-out.

I no longer felt the fresh sting of the childless hurt, but had grown so comfortable NOT having the task of childcare in my life… it almost became a “well, if I can’t have children, at least I don’t have to face any challenges of raising, teaching, or disciplining them (or changing diapers).”

Not having children became my excuse to not try intimidating-to-me tasks involving children.

Trusting God in My “But I’m Not Good At That….”

Mamas may not get this, but for me, I haven’t had to change a diaper in over 25 years maybe & have never had children of my own, so the idea of doing it for someone else’s kids just feels cringy & uncomfortable for me. I feel awkward. I feel out of place. I feel like passing the child onto the parent & saying, “it’s your kid, you do it.”

And when discipline becomes an issue, going from silly playtime to actually having to be the responsible-for-a-child adult, well, I freeze in very uncomfortable anxiety in my lack of experience with them.

But God has been nudging my heart, revealing this refusal-to-serve to me… showing me that I am hiding behind an excuse that no longer bothers me just to avoid doing something that is uncomfortable & awkward for me.

And He is asking me to trust Him in the gaps where I lack… To step out in faith that if He has asked it of me, He will also help me along the way as I ask for it.

Stop Avoiding the Hard… Stop Plowing through the Hard

I know maybe those may sound like silly, inconsequential examples in regards to your own life, but have you ever stopped to consider whether there is any area where you are digging in your heals because you think, “if I don’t feel capable of this, it must not be from God,” or maybe trying to plow through all of the discomfort, exhausting & straining yourself because you think, “God asked me to do it because He knows I am able”?

Let those thoughts go.

He DOES Ask Us to Do Things We CanNOT Do, Because He Knows HE Can

He does ask us to do things we feel are impossible for us.

He doesn’t ask us to do things just because He “knows we’re capable.”

He asks us because He knows NOTHING is impossible for HIM.

He asks us because He knows that HE is capable—even when we ourselves are lacking.

The God-Asked-You-to-Do-It-Because-He-Knew-You-Were-Able Lie

So, take a moment & ask God to show you where you may be sticking your palm to His face unknowingly because you feel incapable. And ask Him for help in trusting that HE is enough for any path down which He may lead.

Shine HOPE by doing as He leads, trusting that HE is ALWAYS able, EVEN when you’re NOT.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out the newly updated Resources & Recommendations page!***)

This blog/website has been running for over THREE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Silver Medallion Necklace

This textured silver-tone chain from India can be worn separately or layered with other necklaces from our One World Collection. The uniquely textured pendant adds the perfect artistic touch. Three length options allow you to choose your comfort & style.

Every purchase provides fair-trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Inaction Is Just As Much a Sin As Wrong Action

The Bible mentions 2 separate categories of sin in the Bible: 1. Grieving the Spirit (doing what we should not do) (Ephesians 4:30) & Quenching the Spirit (not doing what we should do) (1 Thessalonians 5:19).

For me, I find myself mainly focusing on what NOT to do & tend to “justify away” my inaction in various ways.

I often, (arrogantly, I might add), try to logic my way around what God directs me to do via His Holy Spirit. In other words, I feel His nudge on my heart & think my way out of doing it versus just trusting God knows what He’s doing better than I do–that is me quenching the Spirit.

When We Say “No” to God

Do you feel God nudging you to serve somewhere in church or your neighborhood, but the idea intimidates you & so you avoid it?

Do you feel God wants you to befriend someone, but you feel uncertain of how they might respond & your insecurity keeps you at a distance?

Do you feel God nudging you to share your testimony, but you’re afraid of judgement?

I could go on & on with examples similar to these that have halted me in my tracks, where I didn’t do what God asked of me because of fear, timidity, anxiety, insecurity, feeling insufficient, etc.

These, as I understand it, are exampled of me quenching the Spirit of God, as mentioned in 1 Thessalonians 5:19—“Do not quench the Spirit.”

Wrapped in Excuses

There is a similar, yet different command in the Bible, found in Ephesians 4:30, commanding us against GRIEVING the Spirit. This command is something I find myself talking about more often, because it is the command to AVOID doing what God says to AVOID doing, plain & simple (yet, often not simple to accomplish).

But QUENCHING the Spirit is much more subtle. Sometimes God’s leadings are not expressly mentioned in the Bible, but rather are nudges from the Holy Spirit. And usually, it can completely go against logic or human wisdom, making it easier to find loopholes & avoid altogether, wrapped up in words like: insecurity, anxiety, feeling unsure of what to do or say, recognizing a personal weakness we feel prevents our ability to do it, etc.

But our weaknesses can never thwart God’s plan (Ephesians 3:20-21). He enables us where we lack (1 Corinthians 12:9-10).

The Holy Spirit Has Been Sent As Our Help

God promised to send us the Holy Spirit (John 14:15-17), upon Jesus’ resurrection from the cross & into Heaven on His throne. The Holy Spirit convicts us to avoid doing those things God tells us not to do.

But the Holy Spirit also leads. He directs & guides us, especially as we pray for God’s wisdom & direction in a specific area–It’s just not always so easy to follow His lead–especially when His lead doesn’t seem to make sense to us.

God’s Nudges

Since I had been a Christian since I was 5, I have had the Holy Spirit’s presence in my life from a very young age, although I didn’t always recognize His nudges as from Him until my discernment & understanding grew as I grew closer to God.

Because of the Holy Spirit’s presence in my life, I would feel nudges to or away from things sometimes, creating an opportunity for me to choose my way or His way.

I Didn’t Listen

When I fell in love in my early twenties, the Holy Spirit gave me such a nudge after I prayed about the future of the relationship.

I was so sure I would marry that guy because of how much I cared for Him, but God kept nudging me to obey His lead & walk away–that God had a different path for me & him.

Well, I chose not to. I kept fighting it. I was sure maybe those nudges just meant “not right now,” so I kept holding on. I dragged this guy I cared about through the mud in the process because I refused to trust God’s lead.

That was me quenching the Spirit.

God Knows What He’s Doing Better Than We Do

I had asked for God’s guidance & when His answer didn’t match the one I desired, I ignored Him & pushed through, hurting myself & the person I so cared about along the way.

That guy was not a part of God’s future for me, & I was not a part of his. But I didn’t want to listen & we both paid the price for my stubborn refusal to follow God’s will.

I shared my story once before about my “first love”–read about it , here.

My Temper Tantrum

Another example came more recently. My husband asked if I wanted to eat out at a favorite restaurant—I am a SUCKER for eating out & immediately & excitedly agreed.

But, the back story to this is how I had recently discovered my addiction to eating out that God had been convicting me of in a new awareness of my problem.

I immediately felt God’s nudge on my heart to choose eating healthy leftovers at home versus going out.

Rearing up, I felt defensive & angry: “Great. Now You have brought this to my attention & does that mean I can NEVER have fun ever again by eating out?! I want to go out after a long day & enjoy a night out with my husband. Is that so bad?! Why are you guilting me & keeping me from having any fun!? Is this what I have to look forward to from now on?!” –I know… real mature temper tantrum, huh?

Humility Check–God Is Always Looking Out for Our Best

So, I stuffed His nudge deep down & determined it was no big deal & that this was “just this once more,” as I got dressed & ready to go out.

But something happened. For some odd reason-that was never explained-whether from a neighbor’s bbq or who knows… I smelled smoke.

And as soon as the smell hit my nose, I got a flash in my head (like seeing my life flash before my eyes) of my house on fire, with my kitty trapped inside… & my heart dropped.

I got it. I instantly understood the message… & I instantly saw how arrogant & untrusting I had been.

I had been fussing, whining, complaining, accusing God of trying to take all my fun away, but in that split second, I was humbled by the Truth: God NEVER tells me (or you) something that is not EXPRESSLY for my GOOD. EVER.

God Looks Out for Us

And while I complain about God’s so-called strict, fun-zapping, dictator-like control, God reminded me in that moment of His LOVE. He wasn’t trying to ruin my life by asking me to stay home… He was trying to lovingly protect me from myself & my addiction.

After remorseful, embarrassed, humbled tears, I shook my head & whispered in my heart, “God, I am SO sorry. I was so unkind & unfair to You. You know everything & I don’t. You know exactly what I need & I don’t (even though I often feel strongly that I do). Please forgive me for my arrogance. Forgive me for not trusting Your Goodness & Your love for me. Please, show me… was this scenario designed to teach me a lesson? Or do you really ask me to stay home tonight? I’ll do whatever You ask now. Thank You for guiding me even when I am rude to You. Thank You for Your persistent, faithful goodness. Thank You. AMEN.”

What Does It Mean to “Quench the Spirit”? Is It Sin?

So what does it mean to “quench the Spirit”? Is it sin? It means not trusting God’s leading & trusting our own logic or wisdom above His. And yes, it is a sin.

It may be scary. It may seem, in the moment, to be restrictive. It may make you feel insecure or insufficient for the task. But whatever God asks of you… DO IT. Do it & trust that HE can fill where you lack.

Hard doesn’t equal bad. Hard means we get to step back & watch Him work.

Trust God’s lead & follow it.

Trust Him to Help You Grow in This Area As You PRAY

And if you struggle here, as I so obviously do… PRAY about it. Ask God to help you see WHEN you’re doing it & to remind you to SEEK HIM for HELP when you would rather avoid.

Determine to obey anyway. Determine to trust His help. And do it.

I often don’t trust God’s plan & His lead, & as a result, my path is much more painful than God ever intended it to be… & yet still, every day in small ways, I ignore His little prompts as I run on autopilot through my routine. This should not be.

Ask God to wake you up. Ask Him to show you how to know it’s Him, to recognize His still, soft voice on your heart. Ask Him to help you relinquish what you THINK you know, for what He DOES know.

Shine hope—don’t quench the Spirit.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out the newly updated Resources & Recommendations page!***)

This blog/website has been running for over THREE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Long Chain Necklace (Silver-toned) (India)

Love long chain necklaces? This is the necklace for you! This silver-tone link-chain design is handcrafted in India & is totally on-trend! Wear alone, double up, or layer together with other chain necklaces from our One World Collection, like our Long Chain Necklace – Gold.

Every purchase provides fair trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

In India, poverty often leads to exploitation of vulnerable Artisans in sweatshops. Every purchase provides these Artisans with fair wages, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members.

Purchase this necklace & empower an Artisan in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

It’s Not Always Best to “Go with the Flow”

I have found that this topic is not a popular one. I can almost see hair bristling when I talk about it. And that reaction has been my own as well.

Who doesn’t like to feel they have some manner of control in their life?

I’ve talked about this topic before, in “The Tale of Two Cakes,” (that post being from the perspective of how we decide to encourage others–toward self or God), but it’s a concern I see slowly seeping into mainstream Western Christianity, so I feel compelled to revisit this topic, in hopes that you & I both take it to heart.

We need to discuss the very important distinction between self-empowerment & self-surrender.

I Want to Feel in Control of Things

There are so many areas of life, where I mess up regularly, that stem from this innate need I feel to have some control over my own life.

This need manifests itself in many ways, from eating out to soothe anxiety, to questioning God’s direction in my life by testing out my way 700 times first.

I want a say. I want to try. I want to do it myself. (I sort of sound like the typical toddler, don’t I?) But if you evaluated your own life, could you detect this same inner voice? Maybe sugar-coated & justified, but with the same telltale undertones ringing true of your personal need for control?

It’s Even Being Taught by Well-Meaning Christian Leadership

Sadly, this message of SELF-empowerment is spreading like wildfire in many Christian circles—even Christian conferences & sermons.

How can WE get OUR life back on track? How can WE get the most out of OUR life? How can WE feel good?

But the joy (& peace) is not in having more or accomplishing more, but in surrendering more. It’s not in having more control, but by giving Him more control.

The more that we look up & say, “God, I am sorry for clinging to or coveting such-&-such. Help me know how to find that joy in YOU,” the more we actually find what we’re looking for.

I feel saddened by Christian mantras that echo self-empowerment sentiments of “YOU’ve got this!” “YOU’re ENOUGH!” “YOU can handle it!”

Because, the truth is, you don’t, you’re not, & you can’t.

You Were Designed to NEED HIM

You’re not meant to be self-capable, self-sufficient, or self-empowered.

You were designed to NEED HIM.

And until we figure that out & live like that is true, because it is, then we will always feel like we, compared to everyone else around us, just can’t seem to get a handle on things.

You don’t need to believe that you’ve got this. You need to recognize that HE DOES.

You don’t need to be told you’re enough. You need to realize that HE IS.

You don’t need to think that you can handle it. You need to see that HE CAN.

We need to learn how to surrender more. To take our “I can’ts” to His throne & say, “God, be my enough. Supply my needs. Direct me. Guide me. Show me how to obey You & to honor You & to please You with my everything. Make me decrease so You may increase.” (John 3:30-36)

This life is not about a rat race of trying to feel capable & strong & get the most out of it. It’s about learning more & more that His plans are higher & better than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9) & that He can enable us in our MANY weaknesses every step along the way.

By Him. For Him. Through Him. (Romans 11:36)

What Do You Cling to for Control That You Need to Entrust to Him?

I am convicted of how little I am willing to give up control in my own life… I love feeling self-capable & self-empowered more than most anything.

I give, but only from excess or leftovers: time, resources, money.

I help, but only if/when it’s convenient/comfortable.

I edify intentionally & am friendly, but only if I feel it will be received well.

I support others, but only if there’s little cost to me & I can “protect my mental health” (aka feel no stress from it).

I sacrifice, but only if I can see the reward.

I obey, but often only if I can see the benefit of it up front.

This should not be! I NEED to SURRENDER MORE to Him. I need to trust His work & His Truth & His sufficiency more than my own!

I am not enough. I am weak to temptations. I am selfish. I am prideful. I am prone to wander. I am prone to choose ME. I am disobedient in my inaction & sometimes in my actions. I am too me-focused in life–MY comfort, ME well-being, MY desires, MY needs, MY wants, MY plans, MY control.

God Says…. We Ought to Trust HIS Way

God says when someone demands your tunic, give them also your cloak. (Luke 6:27-36)

God says when someone demands you go a mile, go with them two.

God says that Whatever we do to the least of these, we do also to Him. And whatever we don’t do, we also don’t do to Him. (Matthew 25:31-46)

God says to test Him with our giving sacrificially, that all things come from Him & we can trust Him to provide as we provide for others. (Malachi 3:10)

God says that in all our ways we ought to acknowledge Him (not OUR wants/needs/perception/logic) & He will make our paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-7)

God says that in our weaknesses, that is when His power is made known to us & we realize it really is enough for us. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Self-Surrender.

Self-Empowerment or Self-Surrender?

The more you give for Him, the more you seem to gain. It’s never not worth it.

Shine HOPE—Instead of seeking to feel more capable, strong, & worthy… seek HIM.

Self-Empowerment or Self-Surrender—which will you choose?

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out the newly updated Resources & Recommendations page!***)

This blog/website has been running for over THREE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Long Chain Necklace (Golden) (India)

Love long chain necklaces? This is the necklace for you! This gold-tone link-chain design is handcrafted in India & is totally on-trend! Wear alone, double up, or layer together with other chain necklaces from our One World Collection, like our Long Chain Necklace – Silver. (Shown with the Darling Charms Set.)

Every purchase provides fair trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India. In India, poverty often leads to exploitation of vulnerable Artisans in sweatshops. Every purchase provides these Artisans with fair wages, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members.

Purchase this necklace & empower an Artisan in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!