Always a Work-in-Progress

I am going to be a little vulnerable with you today in admitting something that I am embarrassed to admit.

In all my many years of trusting on Jesus to pay my debt before God… since I was 5… I have struggled with something that, for a long time, I didn’t even realize was anything to worry about at all.

But recently, as I read my Bible, God has been slowly revealing to me something that I feel a lot of people are actually missing: ministry isn’t ONLY supposed to be something pre-arranged or pre-planned.

What do I mean by that? I mean that ministry is meant to be an all day, every day type of thing. It is not just “I serve in children’s church on Sunday, every other month,” or, “I help with the ladies’ prison ministry once a week,” or, “I run my own website & a weekly blog.”

And while, yes, it does honor God for me to be doing those things… it shouldn’t be where my ministry stops.

AS You Go… Not Just on Sundays

When I read the Bible, I see a lot more examples of what the Bible says: “Go & make disciples…” verse (Matthew 28:19-20) that is really saying, “AS you go… make disciples.” It is not once a destination is reached, but an “on the way” type of command.

I see that sort of ministry demonstrated far more than any organized, pre-arranged type of ministry happening.

Yes, it is good to set regular times, carving out designated time to do ministry consistently throughout the week, but it ought not stop there.

Do I live like that? No, not really.

Look Up… & See PEOPLE

I was taught by life to keep my head down, mind my own business, go in/get out with errand-running, don’t talk to strangers, don’t bother other people, “stranger danger.” It is pretty engrained in me to not engage with strangers, in other words.

And, as one example, in looking at the “Good Samaritan” story, in Luke 10:25-37, it is so easy to be judgy toward those religious leaders who just snub a bloodied, beaten-up dude on the side of the road, dying from his injuries & them just self-righteously refusing to lift a finger to help….

But isn’t that me every single day?

There are broken people all around me. I don’t seek to help a single one.

What Would Jesus Do? What Should WE Do?

If I were to see that man, I would walk as FAR an arc around him as possible. Maybe he got beat up because HE was the perpetrator. Maybe he is dangerous. Maybe the guys who did it are still close by.

I don’t want to risk my life. My safety.

And being a WOMAN on top of all the potential dangers involved? Makes me even MORE vulnerable to attack.

Nuh-uh, no thanks, “I have to be smart about it” is what I tell myself.

“Don’t be stupid.” “God gave us common sense for a reason.” “Don’t put yourself in harms way, you have to protect yourself & stay SAFE…” is what I tell myself.

As if God doesn’t know how to care for me. As if I can’t trust His judgment if He nudges me toward someone in need. As if my safety is more important than someone else’s. As if I wouldn’t be crying & despairing for someone to help ME if that were me in that situation.

What Would You Have Done?

I watched a video the other day of a woman sharing her story. She was in major pageants & was leaving or arriving at some swanky event when she was approached by 5 armed men who tried to abduct her. I don’t remember how she got away, but when she did, she was sure she’d get shot in the back as she fled through BUSY WITH PEOPLE streets. Running up to cars, begging for help… they closed their windows & drove off. No one would dare help this crazed woman who was really running for her LIFE. Until one brave young lady, with a little one in the backseat, opened her door & said, “GET IN.”

Would I have been that brave? I don’t think I would. Especially if I hadn’t seen the abduction attempt & thought maybe she was on drugs or something.

I wouldn’t have helped her.

I would have protected myself first.

I wouldn’t have helped that beaten, bloodied, left-for-dead man, either.

I would have protected myself first.

Seek the Lost, Love the Broken… As Jesus Did for You

Even in less life-threatening examples, I assume the worst could be true, & I turn/look the other way.

And in completely HARMLESS situations, I don’t DARE bother someone but keep my head down & eyes on the task. Blurring everyone around me out of view/thought.

Shame. On. Me.

“They’re busy… they don’t want to be bothered.” “I don’t want to seem annoying.” “What if I sound like a crazy person?” “What if I make someone uncomfortable?” “What if they don’t want my help?”

But God KNOWS their heart, doesn’t He? He doesn’t need to guess.

So, why do I question Him then…?

Organic Ministry–Do You Put Ministry in a Box?

I want to LIVE ministry. I want to keep my eyes on the lookout for every opportunity.

I want my errands to be treated as opportunities. I want to pray for God to help me see people as PEOPLE vs just blurs in my peripheral.

I want to make eye contact smile at people as they pass by. I want people to know they are seen & not forgotten/alone. I want to live as a testimony even to strangers. I want to be kind when kindness is unexpected. I want to be willing to step in to help when I see a struggle. I want to be gentle & gracious when someone is frustrated & rushed. I want to be willing to say “hello.” I want to be willing to speak up when God prompts me to say more.

I want to learn to love more costly… sacrificially… not just when it seems easy or convenient to me.

God Gives Grace in Our Growing

But, I know… God gives me grace in my growing… God knows how imperfect I am… God doesn’t NEED me… God gives grace upon grace upon grace… God can grow me where I lack… I am never too little for Him, because He is great enough for the both of us… God can shape me… God never gives up on me…. God can where I CAN’T.

God knows I would be crushed utterly under the weight of all my imperfections, my faults & failures, my flesh & its forever-temptation to wander & seek SELF above all else.

THANK GOD for His long-suffering patience & grace & sovereignty in the face of ALL my LACK. PRAISE GOD!!!

A Prayer for Growing in Organic Ministry… An “Every Day, Everywhere” Type of Ministry

How grateful I am to Him that I can bring this to Him & say, “God, wow how much I lack. It’s like every day you reveal more & more how much I need You to prune my life & make me more like Jesus. How much I fall short! And yet, Your grace meets me right there. Thank You for NEVER giving up on me. Grow me in this. Teach me how to SEE people. Teach me to follow & trust Your nudges. Help me to put myself on a limb to rescue others. Help me to be bold with Your grace for others. Help me to love other people as You see & love them. Help me to count their salvation & life more valuable than my own life, even. Grow me to be & do ministry more like Jesus. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

What about You?

Do you struggle with this, too? Am I alone in this?

In what ways do you see yourself needing to grow in this area? Are you willing to take it to God & ask Him to grow & shape you to be equipped to do ministry more as an everyday, everywhere type of ministry? Are you courageous enough to ask Him? If not, start there & pray for the courage to ask Him for help.

Has God grown you some in this already? Teach me. Give me tips on where to start, on how to change my perspective & my habits. Teach me to love strangers like Jesus would.

And pray for me in this… & pray for you, too.

Shine HOPE by doing ministry wherever you are, not just on Sunday mornings, Wednesday nights, or some other church-orchestrated event. Make your life your ministry field.

“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)

***He is waiting for you… will you come?:***

***(Romans 3:23; Romans 5:8-10; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 10:9-10; John 14:6)***

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Love Candy Heart Pouch (Handcrafted in India)

Create dignified jobs for women in India that allow families to leave the slums when you buy this adorable Love Candy Heart Pouch! This adorable, beaded pouch is handcrafted by women earning a fair and dignified wage for her work in India. No detail is left out with this embroidered and hand beaded pouch that showcases the amazing craftsmanship of our Artisan Partners. Featuring “LOVE” spelled out in block letters, every purchase supports families in areas of extreme poverty in India. 

***SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

How Much Does God Actually Want to Interact with Our Lives?

Growing up, I really didn’t think of God much beyond the fact that Jesus had died for my sins so that I could go to heaven someday.

I knew I *ought* to read the Bible & pray, but not why. Just felt it was what a “good Christian person” does… not much beyond that.

I also understood that I was supposed to live in a way that pleased God, so… try to be a nice person, try not to break His laws/commandments, & make good choices that would make Him happy.

Then there’s tithe, to support my local church… go to church on Sundays… pray before a meal… serve somehow, some way… pray when I’m scared of the dark or of a nightmare (I used to have chronic nightmares).

Other than that… well, I didn’t really think God was much involved in my life. More like a distant overseer who would let me into heaven someday because of what Jesus did for me.

What Can Prayer Actually Do?

I also REALLY didn’t understand the purpose of prayer, or even the point of it sometimes (I mean, He already knows my thoughts anyway).

(***You can read 3 previous blog posts on the topic of prayer, here: “What Even Is Prayer?” “What Is Prayer & Why Does It Matter?” “‘Pray Continually’–What Does Prayer Actually Accomplish?” ***)

So, thinking about God as a part of my daily life just seemed sort of not really a thing.

But, the more I read the Bible, the more I pray, & the more years that pass as someone seeking to know Him more & more… the more I have realized just how personal & involved God wants to be in our lives… if we but let Him.

Think of the verses in the Bible about “pray without ceasing,” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) this isn’t some sort of “stay knelt at the edge of your bed with your hands clasped & your eyes closed… & never EVER leave there.” This is a “instead of just inner dialogue, recognize God hears every thought & turn those thoughts toward conversation with Him.”

Learn from Those in the Bible Who Turned to God in Prayer about EVERYTHING… Vs Those Who Didn’t… (Sometimes the Same Person Did Both)

My husband & I read a chapter of the Bible together every night before bed, followed by our thoughts on what we’d read & then we take turns praying over our next day & thanking Him… & we just finished 2 Chronicles.

Just reading about all of the kings throughout Israel’s history during that time period, you see the good, the bad, & the UGLY (like burning your children alive to “appease” false “gods” UGH).

But what these chapters show over & over again is what God can do with a life willing to go to Him with every thought, every question, every struggle… willing to humble yourself before God with everything… & when they didn’t, like near the end of 2 Chronicles (2 Chronicles 35) (also, see David’s story), even when warned that it was God’s leading & to not try to stop it… instead of stopping to confirm with God, Josiah got himself killed. Every decision should go before the King of kings… not just doing what seems right to us.

The Patterns of the World?

Or how about the many repeated times where the phrase “& the people did what was right in their own eyes” shows up? (Judges 21:25) I always pictured it talking about orgies & other despicable things… but it quite literally is just what it says, they were “doing what was right in their own eyes.” That is seen as a bad thing, & goes along also with the phrase of the “vain patterns of their fathers,” doing what’s always been modeled to us versus checking it against what God says & how God leads.

“Don’t conform yourself to the patterns of this world, but BE transformed by the renewing of your mind….” (Romans 12:2)

We are not here on this earth to just live & then die. We were born, KNIT TOGETHER, (Psalm 139:13) our days numbered before even one began… to WORSHIP OUR KING. To live for the SPIRITUAL Kingdom of GOD. NOT this world!

How often do we live like that is actually true? How often do we just follow the patterns of the world we live in? The way we grew up?

How often do we stop & say to ourselves, “wait, everything else will just die with me when I go… ONLY living for God’s kingdom will last beyond my lifetime”? How often?

Who Do I Act Like I Am I REALLY Living For?

I grew up thinking to try to live a good life, “with a little dash of Jesus for good measure.” But who am I living for? Me? Or Him?

Even praying before meals had become a mindless ritual in many cases, while Jesus demonstrates it solely as a sign of humble respect, thanking God for His provisions, recognizing it as all from Him, before eating it. (Luke 22:19; John 6:11)

Do you know how much RICHER your life will become when it is fully, completely, & entirely submitted to THE eternal, all-powerful, all-wise, gracious, loving KING of kings? Because EVERYTHING you do will hold ETERNAL significance!

Don’t you want a life like that??? Don’t you CRAVE that???

What Would That Life Look Like?

A life where even menial, thankless, ever-needing-to-be-done tasks (like laundry, dishes, cleaning, bill-paying) become opportunities to thank God for all He has supplied, to honor Him by stewarding the resources well, to honor Him by working hard & allowing it to become a safe haven space for you & your family to come home to?

Work becomes a space where you can shine a light of hope to a world who does not know Hope, to pray for co-workers, to offer encouragement or grounding truth from God’s Word, to serve them, to find ways to make their EVERY day a little brighter & easier to show up for?

Where screw ups & failures & weaknesses never get wasted, because you pray & ask God to teach you to better trust & rely on Him through them & they become examples to the world of how great & gracious our God truly is. That He can do anything… He has no limitations.

Where peace enters your life when chaos still lingers because you have humbled yourself before Him to hold you through it. A peace not reliant upon peaceful circumstances returning.

Where bad attitudes, stress, & short tempers are met with a lowered head & a silent prayer of asking God for forgiveness & the grace to face that moment in a way that honors Him vs. just how it’s making you feel.

Parenting becomes discipleship. Marriage becomes a display of His grace. Friendships become fellowship. Church becomes humble worship… LIFE becomes humble worship.

Isn’t that what you want? Don’t you crave that?

How Much of Your Life Do You Let God Be a Part Of? … & How Much Do You Keep Back from Him?

Really think about it: How much of your life do you let God be a part of? … & how much do you keep back from Him?

Do you follow the patterns of people that live “with a dash of Jesus”? Or do you seek to let God help you forge a life fully surrendered to His Kingdom?

As I heard in a video recently, “Pretend that every time you walk into a room—God sent you there. How would that change how you act/live?”

We are here for a purpose: to worship & glorify God through all that we live, say, think, & do… are you living that way? Or are you just satisfied with your “dash” of Him?

Shine HOPE by letting God be your ALWAYS focus in your EVERY moment… not just the “dash of Jesus” ones.

“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)

***He is waiting for you… will you come?:***

***(Romans 3:23; Romans 5:8-10; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 10:9-10; John 14:6)***

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

January 2026 “Hope Mail” INDIA

FOR A LIMITED TIME – Only available during the month of January! Enjoy free shipping and 10% off your Hope Mail package when you subscribe every month!       

Your purchase of January Hope Mail provides one day of school for a girl in an area of extreme poverty.     

Featured in this month’s Hope Mail is the Love Letter Necklace. This adorable golden necklace features an envelope pendant and is creating dignified jobs for women in India. Each gold-tone envelope pendant looks like it’s sealed with a heart.

Every purchase of this month’s Hope Mail creates safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India where vulnerable women are often exploited by sweatshops and human traffickers.

***SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

Short Answer? No

How do you become someone who is ALL IN for God? Is it only certain people who are exceptionally passionate people? Extra spiritual somehow? The right personality for it?

How can you go from just your average person to someone with a ministry like Paul’s? Like authors/speakers/pastors you admire? Is that even possible?

Sometimes it seems tempting to “leave that up to the ones who are “called” to it… those who seem to know what they’re doing… who seem to be naturals at it.” The problem with that line of thinking is literally every example of flawed human beings we read about in the Bible (aka everyone)… that the wonder, power, greatness, wisdom, miracles, etc. did not come from them being great at all… but because they trusted God over themselves.

I’m Never Going to be Good Enough…

I grew up a Christian. But I wasn’t always as I am now: designing/running my own website & blog, leading Bible studies, prayer groups, Sunday school classes, accountability groups, etc. I never thought I was good enough for ANY of that… & I wasn’t… & I still am not.

When I was just 5 years old, God got my attention. The sermon the pastor had preached in church started illuminating, as if it just all started suddenly coming into clear focus. That the sin he preached about was about ME TOO. I lied to my parents, argued, disobeyed, was mean to my little sister… all those things were SIN. I WAS WHY JESUS HAD TO DIE. ME.

I realized that my sin angered God & separated me from Him & made me worthy of Hell. I realized Jesus loved ME enough to die for MY sins. That Jesus was the ONLY way, because I was not good enough.

My parents asked me questions & walked me through how I could lay down my life & trust in Jesus to save me from my sins, that His death & resurrection alone was sufficient.

God, in His infinite grace, through His love for us that compelled Him… saw fit to pay my debts.

I Thought God Was Pretty Hands Off in the Day-to-Day… That His Saving Me Applied Only After Death… I Was Wrong

But, although I knew eternal peace from that young age &, in hindsight saw His fingerprints all throughout my life… I didn’t know much beyond that. I had to LEARN it.

You see, I thought He gave us His Word (the Bible) as good pointers/wisdom & that was that… it was up to me to figure out the rest from there. I didn’t know how He could help illuminate His Word to me through the Holy Spirit, as He had when the pastor had preached about heaven & hell all those years ago. I thought it was up to me to figure it all out.

I also wrongly felt pressures to always be good enough to “deserve” Jesus. As if I felt I needed to add more onto it as my life went on, more clearly recognizing my unworthiness the older I got… & I wanted to balance the scales a bit so I could maybe feel worthy of Jesus saving me… constantly worried that if I didn’t do enough, maybe my salvation was fake because I knew I was so flawed.

I also wrongly believed that God didn’t have much to do with my day-to-day life, other than me trying to read the Bible & live in a way that honored Him. Like… that GOD was pretty much hands-off other than that.

Everything We Say or Do Will All Pass Away… Except for What We Do for HIS KINGDOM

I ALSO wrongly believed that life was just life. You follow the flow of society… go to school, graduate, go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, etc. & that life was just about trying to do your best to live for God by praying before meals, going to church, not cussing, & just trying to be a good person, etc. through all of it.

I didn’t really truly understand the purpose of prayer beyond thanking Him for things, asking for things, or whatever.

Maybe all this describes you right now. That you believe that’s that & there’s nothing more to it.

But can I challenge you to wonder if there could be more?

That the fruit of prayer can be so incredibly richer than you currently believe it to be?

Even in the Quiet, Unappreciated, Unnoticed Parts of Life… They Can be Used to Glorify & Worship God, Too

I am not talking about a “going viral” type of ministry. I am not talking about being an author or speaker recognized nationally. Or even being really popular.

Sometimes it’s in the quiet things & seems to go quite unnoticed (like my little blog—or even like parenting or tending to your home/family). Sometimes it’s so small, but yet so rich.

This is why I write this blog, or at least a huge part of it. I desperately want you to see that going more & more ALL IN for Him is not reserved for the super spiritual type people. It’s for the average, even less than average. I want you to experience the richness of a life full, brimming, & overflowing with purpose, a joy that goes beyond circumstances… a life mission that lives long after you. A life of bringing honor & glory & worship to the One True King of kings, Lord of Heaven & Earth, Savior of our souls.

Even in the mundane. Even in just surrendering your sour attitude on a hard morning. Even in remembering to pray when you feel weak or even when you feel strong, relying on Him over self. Even on caring for others in the quiet, unnoticed things. Living a life surrendered to His purposes & His Will & His provision & His Love. A life that puts Him first in EVERYTHING, praying for His help to do so at every turn, even & especially when you REALLY don’t FEEL like it.

He Can Use the Weakest of the Weak, if They Are But Willing to Surrender Their Meager Self to His Infinite Power & Purpose

I was no one special. I was just some girl growing up thinking it was all up to me to be a good person to please God “enough.” I didn’t know He would help me in doing that better if I but asked Him & relied upon His help.

I prayed only when I needed something, not when I truly believed nothing could change anyway. Now I see the evidence again & again in the Bible of WHY we OUGHT TO TURN TO HIM WHEN THERE IS NO HOPE… because God can do what I can’t. He can make happen what I can’t.

Not vain repetitions, as if He doesn’t already know… but repeatedly & consistently because you know He’s where your hope will be found & nowhere else.

Praying for HIS peace when peace is impossible.

Praying for HIS strength when you are absolutely depleted of it.

Praying for HIS wisdom when you’ve exhausted all options.

Praying for forgiveness when you have fallen short for the millionth time already, knowing His grace has no limits.

Praying for help to make the right choice, to have the right attitude… for even a desire to WANT to make the right choice or have the right attitude (that’s usually where I have to start anyway).

Does Your Personality Determine How “All In” You Can be with God?

You aren’t BORN WANTING to please God, but SELF.

Going ALL IN with God takes a surrendered heart, a surrendered will.

It takes a willingness over & over & over again, not giving up on what God can do with a willing heart, saying, “God, I am unworthy, make me more like Your Son… make me more like Jesus. Help me to honor You better, to love You better, to please You better in EVERY area of my life, big or small. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

I promise you, it is 100% worth it.

I am still a work-in-progress & forever will be. But I have a God Who is so far beyond my limitations. And in Him is where my trust is rooted... not myself.

…. Not myself….

What Are You Willing to Surrender? What Are You Willing to Trust God Can Change in You?

If you want an ALL IN faith, an ALL IN life (one that you can look back on while on your death bed & be proud of), you have to be repeatedly willing to lay yourself, your way, your will, your wisdom, your all… down at His feet as a sacrifice. For Him to redeem it into something more beautiful, more eternally significant. For His Kingdom.

It’s not an overnight thing. I spent YEARS in tumultuous doubts from the clashes of culture vs. God’s Word in my youth, years I never thought could ever end. He ended it by leading me through one of the darkest valleys I’ve ever known. But on the other side, I walked out in full assurance of Who my God is. That I never had to doubt ever again–& for that, I only WISH I could lead everyone I know to that same terrible valley I thought I could only hate & fear. Because it led to TRUE LIGHT of HOPE.

I have a long ways to go, but it’s a journey well worth the pursuit. Everything else is just filler before death… death that leads to me being forgotten completely within just a few generations.

But what I do for Jesus Christ will have eternal value. Shining a light of hope into this world, letting my broken pieces be where His light shines through… showing the world the way to HOPE.

Let Your Brokenness & Flaws Shine His Glory & Grace through the Cracks

My mistakes & my flaws & my failures are no longer mine to keep… they are the cracks & crevices that allow others to see what God can do with our brokenness & our flawed humanity. His redemption. His healing. His grace. His love. His HOPE.

So, the level of your being ALL IN with God, living as a true light for Him in all areas of your life, has very little to do with you or your personality… & it has ALL to do with your willingness to continue laying yourself down to His help & His will over your own.

So… SHINE for Him. Shine HOPE. But first, be willing to start with repeated-throughout-the-years moments of surrender that say, “God, I want to live ALL IN for You, but I have no idea where to begin… or if I have the personality for it… so change me, shape me into someone who lives to live a life that shines hope, found only in Your Son, Jesus Christ. In Jesus’ worthy, holy name, AMEN.”

~It is a journey well worth it.

***He is waiting for you… will you come?:***

***(Romans 3:23; Romans 5:8-10; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 10:9-10; John 14:6)***

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Moon Earrings (Handcrafted in INDIA)

Showcase detailed Artisanal craftmanship when you style these unique Moon Earrings! These gorgeous, beaded earrings are handcrafted in a workshop in India that’s committed to fighting child marriage and helping women become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans. Featuring white beads in a gold moon shape and finished with a freshwater pearl, the Moon Earrings are intricately crafted to create a subtle, beautiful iridescent design. Not only are the Moon Earrings stunning, but they also create necessary jobs for women in areas of extreme poverty in India. 

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

How Do You Know if You’re Living with Blinders On?

If you saw on my social media the sermon notes I took down this past Sunday, you will have a clue as to the direction of this week’s blog post: How hard it is to live in light of eternity, when our everyday activities are right in front of our face all the time.

I can’t say I am always too good at this. I tend to live life with blinders on… run the errands, do the chores, do my tasks at work, come home to relax, etc. before considering the fact that really, when it all boils down… none of it is anything that will affect eternity or have any significance or worth after I die.

So, how do I do things differently? How do I live with a mindset of what will last? What truly matters once I am gone? After my loved ones are gone? Once Jesus returns?

If It Were Up to Me…?

One question that keeps ringing in my ear is the one I wrote on those sermon notes… “If it were completely up to me, who would go to Hell because I felt too uncomfortable to tell them about Jesus?”

That’s rough, isn’t it?

It seems a little too uncomfortable even reading or asking that question.

But there is some truth to it. No, it’s not entirely up to us. God doesn’t need us. But God DOES use our willingness to live in obedience & surrender to Him. It can bless others, help their road be less damaging, be a demonstration of HOPE to a world in desperate need of it. PLUS, it brings honor & glory to God.

We can play a part. We can plant a seed. But we can’t bring anyone to Christ—that’s God’s job. He does the saving, not us.

Where Is Your Focus Pointed?

How do you start your day? Do you grumble at your alarm clock? At the lack of sleep you had last night? (Saying from experience here.) Do you grab your phone for some mindless scrolling? Or do you pay attention to the fact that God sees you, right there, in your groggy fogged state, in whatever attitude you have at that given moment—He sees you. Do you take a minute to say hi? To confess your grumpy attitude, if you have one, & ask for an adjustment in perspective? Do you ask Him to guide your day, grant you wisdom, help you to see opportunities, help you to live for Him that day?

What about getting ready in the morning? Is there worship music playing? Are you praising Him? Talking to Him? Are you reviewing Bible verses as you brush your teeth to help you stand firmly on truth? Spending time with your Bible & study notes?

Where are you setting your focus?

(*My website offers a free Bible Study Notes Guide printable resource if you need help getting started on this. You can find it in the “Abiding in Him” section of the Resources & Recommendations page on my website.)

Where Are You Pointing Your Family?

If you have a family to cook for, are you seeing it as an opportunity to serve them lovingly? To create an environment where they feel safe & loved? Or are you doing it out of felt obligation? Do you take opportunity to demonstrate & teach the importance of taking time to thank God for His provisions before you eat, as Jesus demonstrated? Or just rush through the meal?

In the chores & the errands, do you see it as a way to bless those who will benefit from it? To create a warm, safe, loving environment for everyone to come home to? Or just work to be done?

At work, do you serve as if serving God? Trying to do it willingly & cheerfully? To be a blessing to others? Or just to get a paycheck at the end of the day?

I heard a comedian that gave me such a wonderfully fresh perspective on this. He talked about how he came to work every night, to perform his comedy bit, working on new material & practicing & doing the shows, to GET PAID… but that God got his attention one day to view it not as what he can GET, but rather what he can GIVE. That some may be stressed from piles of assignments at work, feel underappreciated or unseen, struggling through loss, etc. & that he had the beautiful opportunity to GIVE them space to smile & laugh & feel LIGHT. What a beautiful perspective!!

How can we apply that to different areas of our lives? Where can we GIVE?

Living the Gospel Out Loud

When others talk about their stresses or hurts, do you take a minute right there & ask if you can pray with them right then & there? To come alongside them in it? Or just promise to pray a prayer for them that you’ll forget about later?

Do you ask God for opportunities to be a blessing to others who may be secretly hurting, who may have needs you’re able to meet?

Do you talk about Jesus? Do you ever bring Him up in conversation? Do other people know that you know Him & trust Him with your eternity?

When you hear the lies of culture, do you take a moment to point out what the Bible says to counter in it with Truth? To point to a steady, sure, reliable foundation….

Do you read your Bible so you can get to know the character of God, to recognize the voice of truth when God tries to lead you? Do you know your Good Shepherd’s voice? Do you know His Word, the Bible, well enough to know the Truth, to know His leading, to hear His voice? How is your discernment?

Do you talk to Him all throughout your day? … Recognizing that He hears your every thought & can help you through every step as you allow Him to take the lead?

Do You Pray Without Ceasing? Talk to Him throughout Your Every Day?

Do you seek His comfort & pray when you’re down or burdened or hurting?

Do you seek His wisdom & pray when you’re anxious, worried, or stressed?

Do you seek His strength & pray when you feel weak, incapable, or insecure?

Do you seek His help & pray when you feel ill-equipped, unsure, or out of your depth?

Do you seek His words & pray when you want to talk about Him or His Word to others, but you just don’t know how to say it?

He is always listening. He is always capable. He is always strong. He is all-wise, all-knowing, all-powerful.

ASK Him.

Living in Light of Eternity? Or Just Right Now?

Do you live your life in light of eternity? Or just right now?

How are you living?

Will it matter when you die?

Will it have affected the lives of those around you for eternity after they’re gone?

What changes will you make? Will you ask God where to start? Will you ask God to give you wisdom in the how & strength in the change? Will you have the courage to ask Him to help you live more in light of eternity vs. just right now?

How are you living?

Shine HOPE by living every day in light of eternity, realizing the difference between what will be here today & gone tomorrow, versus what will last long into forever after we’re dead & gone. What will you invest your life in? Will it matter? Shine as a beacon of hope in Jesus Christ, so that, if it were up to you, everyone who even passes by you will have every opportunity to know how they can spend their eternity in Heaven & never feel the painful pangs of Hell. Live like forever matters… because it does… it really, really does.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sealed with Love Ornament–NEPAL

HOLIDAY EDITION – While supplies last! Create safe jobs with fair wages for the women in Nepal who handcraft the adorable Sealed with Love Ornament through this dignified partnership. Your Christmas tree will be so charming with this festive mother and baby duo holding a present. Each ornament is crafted using 100% wool and traditional wool crafting techniques that have been passed down for generations. 

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

God Is Patient, God Is Kind…

God is so incredibly patient. Do you believe that? Have you seen that in your own life? Because I have.

Today, I am reminded of the Israelites in the wilderness. They are so easy to pick on until you realize how accurate a reflection of us they oftentimes are.

They complained A LOT.

They had spent SO LONG crying out to God for help. God heard their cries & led Moses to lead them to their rescue & escape from years of being the slave labor of the Pharoah. But nothing was ever good enough for them.

God Always Has a Plan…. When Chaos Seems to be Winning… God Is Working

It had started out as an offering from a king who respected Joseph (remember him?) (Genesis 47) but when that king died & it was now years & years later, the Israelites had multiplied so much that the new king in power was thinking to himself, “they could overtake us, so let’s just squash that right now & make them our slaves & oppress them… oh, & kill all their baby sons.” (Exodus 1)

But God had a plan.

So God led Moses (Exodus 3), did miracles (Exodus 7-11), wowed literally everyone, & after showing that He ALONE was God Almighty, He got His people FREE.

But then, it didn’t stop there. He made sure their clothes never wore out & their shoes stayed good (Deuteronomy 29:5) … And God led them with a pillar of cloud by day & of fire by night for light (Exodus 13:21). He parted the Red Sea (Exodus 14:21). He provided them with FOOD they didn’t have to farm or buy (Exodus 16). He had water gush from hit rocks to provide water where there was none (Exodus 17).

God HAD them. He cared for them & protected them & provided for them & FREED them... against ALL ODDS!

Instead of Complaining, Have You Tried Praying?

And yet it seems that every single chapter detailing this journey was met with a NEW COMPLAINT AGAINST GOD.

But you know what the absolute wildest part of it is? I am not entirely convinced that God would even withhold what they wanted if they had just believed in Him enough to ASK Him.

Grumbling at every turn. Lusting after the few comforts they had had before, in captivity. Lusting after the known & fearing the unknown. Lusting after comforts over FREEDOM.

It really just sounds DUMB.

Until I realize I do the same thing.

Forever a Work-in-Progress… & Thank God (really, THANK Him) That He NEVER Gives Up on Us

I try to self-solve & self-soothe my way through hard stuff. I avoid it even sometimes. I feel frustrated & overwhelmed & despairing.

And eventually, God gives me a gentle nudge reminder that “oh yeah… God.”

So dumb.

Now, please realize I have definitely grown a lot in the past years with this… but I definitely still have some growing left to do.

Our Complaining Shows We Really Don’t Trust Him

I also see a consistent thread that the reason God was so upset about the complaining was that it showed that the people didn’t believe in Him.

I mean, can you blame Him? I mean, leave out the fact that He literally made us AND the world we live in (without our help, at that… & out of nothing but His WORD) … leave that very important part of the equation out & JUST consider EVERYTHING He did supernaturally to make sure you were set free & were free indeed. Miraculous! Did they not remember?

Instead of complaining & grumbling, they could have taken a moment to consider ALL God had done for them ALREADY & gone TO HIM with their struggles!

Believe that if He did all that for you… He is worth believing & ASKING…. Not complaining.

How Much Do I Lose Out on Because I Don’t Believe He Can Do More Than I Can?

How much do I miss out on because I don’t bother to consider believing in Him over myself or my circumstances or my resources or my time or my hurts?

Lack satisfaction? Ask Him to teach you contentment.

Lack resources? Ask Him to provide.

Lack time for something? Ask Him for timing.

Lack courage or wisdom? Ask for it.

Lack energy? Ask Him for a way forward.

Don’t resort to trusting yourself, your circumstances, or your hurts to guide you.

Don’t resort to grumbling & complaining about your life.

ASK HIM. Turn to Him. Trust Him. Believe in Him.

God Is GOD & You Are NOT

He can do far more than you’re capable of doing. Do you trust that? … And ACT on it by turning to Him in everything?

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)

How do you know what to ask for, though? By reading your Bible & praying for wisdom on that very thing.

“Because You Can’t” Is Not a Valid Excuse… Because You Know God CAN

And I think that’s where some lose interest, because complaining feels like we’ve acknowledged that there is a problem that we can’t fix, so we’re free to avoid it & live how we see fit. As if we’re absolved from accountability because it’s “not our fault.”

But God can. We know God can. But we have to trust God can & ASK Him. And God isn’t at all fooled at the fact that our complaining just seems a more comfortable solution… a copout.

Asking seems like more work. Asking is admitting we can’t & need help. Asking is letting someone else be in charge. Asking brings accountability. Asking may require work on our part that we’re intimidated about.

Don’t Stay Stuck… PRAY to the God Who CAN

But don’t stay there. Don’t stay stuck. Trust God knows what He’s doing AND wants a life that is best for you, not just mediocre or “surviving.”

“The thief [Satan] does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

It doesn’t mean the hard will stop, but it does mean He’ll be your enough in the hard.

So ASK HIM.

Shine HOPE by daring to ask the God Who made you & gave His all for you… rather than just copping out with complaints that anger Him because they reveal a lack of trust.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Gingerbread Village Set (INDIA)

HOLIDAY EDITION – While supplies last! Shop to support families in areas of extreme poverty in India! Display the darling Gingerbread Village Set along with all your favorite holiday decor! This set of three unique, hand-painted mango wood houses will create a beautifully cozy feel when placed on your mantel or in a tablescape display. Each house is eco-friendly and made from fast-growing mango wood, a sustainable byproduct of India’s mango fruit industry. Each house features unique natural wood grains and hand-painted gorgeous designs.

***Purchase this beautifully unique & handcrafted set, using the “Shop Here” link below, to empower women in India out of poverty, by providing them with safe, reliable work environments!***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

At the Feet of Jesus

I used to think that being a good Christian was all about all I DID for God.

As if God needs my help….

The more & more times I read through the Bible, the more this perspective has shifted. Because, in all reality: God does not need me.

And in all the retelling stories of the Bible, this reality is echoed over & over & over again. God requested, God provided. People screwed it all up, God still worked through it. God protected. God won wars. God healed. God gave wisdom. God directed steps. God answered the peoples’ cries for help. God created. God IS.

God Is Entirely Sufficient

God is entirely sufficient. Just Him. He has no need that He could need anything from me. He has no lack that I could have opportunity to supply. He is the infinity to my limits. He is the sufficiency in my lack. He provides the air I breathe & crafted the lungs to breathe it.

What a freeing thing that is! He doesn’t need me!

That means there is no expected pressures placed on me except to obey Him!

Now wait! Obedience is expectation! … Well, sort of? Because guess Who knows everything to more than adequately craft the perfect plans for you? Guess Who has infinite wisdom to see what to do with all facets of every ripple effect throughout all time so He knows how to direct you? Guess Who has the power to make the world from nothing & can supply your every need? Guess Who offers Himself to us in everything He asks of us?

Stand Up by Laying Down

Yes, you see… if you want to stand for God… you have to lay yourself down.

Trade your weaknesses for His strength.

Trade your limitations for His infiniteness.

Trade your lack for His sufficiency.

Trade your fears for His power.

Trade your inability for His inability to fail.

Lay it all down!

It Takes Surrender… And That’s the Hardest Part of It

I get it, though. It takes surrender still… it really does. Surrender of your way, your expectations, your ideals, your comfort zones, your pride, your insecurities, your will… for His.

It takes laying down of how you want to live, to live how He designed your life to be.

It takes time spent with Him… Abiding in Him by getting to know His Word (the Bible) & talking with Him regularly (prayer).

Oh, What a Merciful God!

I don’t always get this right. If you’ve followed along my blog journey all these 7 years (how has it been 7 years?), then you’ve seen it in me. The seasons of hesitation, of selfishness, of struggle, of failure.

But always waiting there with open arms He remains. Steady. Sure. Gentle. Kind. Forgiving. FAITHFUL.

No guilt trips. No shaming. No scolding.

Patient, all-enduring LOVE. Mercy. Grace.

All It Takes Is a Willing, Surrendered Heart

I want to live more for Him & sometimes I think that means I need to do more. But really, it means I need to lay down more of myself. I need to lay down my efforts, recognize His deity, authority, & KINGship, & lay down all of me for all of Him.

It starts with a willingness. A saying: “God, I want this. I want to give more of myself & my life to You. I don’t know how that should look, but I want it. I don’t know how to fit it into my current lifestyle, but I want it. I don’t feel I would be good enough for You, but I want it. Show me how. Teach me surrender. Teach me to lay more of myself down at Your feet for Your will. Not spending this life on me, but on You, on eternity. Help me to live the life You designed for me. Not my routines, not my habits or cultural expectations. Show me how to live my life for You, by You, through You. All for your glory & not for mine. Trusting You are worth it. More than worth it. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Because I guarantee you… if you are willing to pray that way… God will show you. He will lead you. He will teach you. He will prove Himself worthy. More than worthy.

Shine HOPE, by Letting Him be GOD in Your Life

So, if you want to stand up for Jesus… start by laying down.

Shine HOPE by taking a stand for truth, proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ to a broken world who may pretend or strongly believe they don’t need Him, but who desperately do all the same. Be a LIGHT. Shine HOPE.

*A beautifully written book on this topic is one I rave about quite often: “Sit, Walk, Stand,” by Watchman Nee. Check out my list of recommended reading to find its link for more information.*

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

October 2025 Hope Mail (UGANDA + INDIA)

FOR A LIMITED TIME – Only available during the month of October! Enjoy free shipping and 10% off your Hope Mail package when you subscribe every month!       

*Your purchase of October Hope Mail provides one day of school for a girl in an area of extreme poverty.*

This exclusive October Hope Mail package makes a great gift for any occasion! The beautiful Nambi Light Bracelet is handmade by women in Uganda. Featuring handmade paper beads painted in cream, ethically sourced bone beads, and gold-tone accent beads.  Every October Hope Mail creates necessary jobs for women and mothers in areas of extreme poverty in Uganda!       

***Purchase this month’s Hope Mail, using the “Shop Here” link below, to create safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Uganda and India where vulnerable women are often exploited by sweatshops and human traffickers.***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

I’m Not Worthy… & I’m Not Just Saying That

This is a question that I wrestle with sometimes: “Why, of all people, do I write a blog?”

I wouldn’t think of myself as the best writer. I’m not especially self-motivated. I don’t feel I am a very faithful person when it comes to God. I fail God so much. I’m selfish & lazy. I feel tired a lot. I struggle with depression. Why me?

Some seasons seem to be the same topic on repeat. Some are bland, honestly. Not the most exciting. Sometimes I feel like a voice in the wind, like it’s so small an impact that it doesn’t really matter all that much. So, why me?

It Looks Like It’s All About Me… When It’s Not

And trust me, I struggle with my website name as well, being named after me, as if I am proclaiming to the world that I am the one to come to for all the answers, as if I am showcasing myself to the world as their source of hope. I’m not.

In fact, when I took the course that taught me how to design & create my own website, we were actually encouraged to name the site after ourselves because, we were told, people want to invest in people—not just ideas. It’s a way to make it personal, not just a generic concept or message.

But I honestly struggle with how others may perceive that choice to mean about how I view myself & my right to be doing this at all. As if, MICHELLE HYDE ONLINE is IT. I’m not worthy of that.

God Leads the Unexpected

But, all that to say, I don’t know why me. I don’t know why God put this on my heart in 2017. I don’t know why, when I prayed about it in all my concerns & apprehensions, He confirmed for me time & time again, guiding the whole process along the way, eventually drawing my attention to a course in my budget to teach me how, addressing every question I had been praying about for months.

And when I prayed about all of my many shortcomings—why I felt He was picking the wrong person—God kept washing this understanding over my heart over & over again: “It’s not about pointing the world to yourself as their hope… it’s about pointing them to Me as their hope. You don’t have to hold all the answers… but to point to Me as the One Who does. Not showing yourself to be strong… but pointing to Me as your strength.”

I don’t get it right all the time. I am okay admitting that. I feel like a bore sometimes, with nothing original or fresh to say. I feel like I sound like a fool sometimes even.

But I know where my hope comes from. I know where I can be sure my faith is proven true. I know how to have a steady foundation when the world falls out from under me. I know Who I can count on when I royally screw it all up.

Trying to be a Faithful Steward, Even in the “I Don’t Understands”

And I will continue to use this little, small, inconsequential, barely noticeable corner of the internet to keep shining for Jesus. He is the way. He is the truth. He is the life. No one comes to the Father [God] except through Him. No one. (John 14:6)

All Else but Jesus Will Fail You

You can try to search for hope in being a good person. It will fail you.

You can try to search for hope in love & feeling wanted/wantable. It will fail you.

You can try to search for hope in wealth or at least financial security. It will fail you.

You can try to search for hope in a bottle, in drugs, in sex. It will fail you.

You can try to search for hope through validation or success. It will fail you.

You can try to search for hope in getting married & having babies. It will fail you.

You can try to search for hope through a pursuit of happiness. It will fail you.

You can try to search for hope through your own adequacies & self-sufficiency. It will fail you.

I will fail you.

I’ve tried so much of the above through seasons of rebellion & doubt, when I have strayed & believed lies. It all fails.

But God Never Fails… Never… Not Once

But God never does. Like the returning prodigal son, practicing his apology on the way, only to see his father run to him with open arms, embracing him before he could utter a word. That’s how God has been to me. (Luke 15:20)

Like the lost sheep, He, like a Good Shepherd, keeps seeking me. He never gives up on me. (John 10:11; Matthew 18:12-14; Luke 19:10)

He is love. (1 John 4:8) He is kind & patient & long-suffering. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) He is gentle & faithful, even when I am not.

A prayer of thanksgiving that I pray every night is this: “Thank You, Lord, for never giving up on me.” It’s a big deal!

Why Do I, of All People, Write a Blog?

I’m not the best at this. I’m not the most profound or engaging, always with some fresh word to offer you & inspire you. I am not as faithful a steward with this website He has entrusted to me as I ought to be. I am just a little voice on the internet, shining my little light in the darkness, hoping someone will see it & find their way to hope.

^“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

“He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.” (John 3:17-21)

His way is the only way. No compromise. No deviation. HIS way. Because HE IS the way.

Shine for Christ… That’s Why I, of All People, Write a Blog

“Lord, I know You didn’t choose me because I’m the best at it or because I am especially deserving, but because I am willing to stand up & say that You are where my hope comes from. May others see that truth through my life, even in all my many weaknesses & failures & shortcomings, & come to find that their only true hope for HOPE… is YOU… ALONE. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Shine HOPE by being willing to be a voice in the darkness, even if you feel inadequate or ill-prepared. Trust the One Who MADE you to fill in all the gaps & determine to take a stand for truth that leads to ETERNAL HOPE in Jesus Christ!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Cherry Handbag Charm–INDIA

How adorable is this Cherry Handbag Charm?! Using red and green leather, women earn a dignified wage crafting this Cherry Handbag Charm. Add to any handbag to instantly change the look! The ethically made Cherry Handbag Charm is handcrafted with care in India.

***Every purchase, using the “Shop Here” link below, provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India! ***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

Which Soil Describes Your Heart?

Wayside, trampled, birds—distracted, devil takes it “lest they be saved.”

Rocks, withered, lacked moisture—received with joy, no root, in temptation, it’s gone.

Thorns, choked—cares, riches, pleasures push it out.

Good ground, sprang up, multiplied—keep it, bear fruit with patience.

Anyone Can Hear God’s Word & Not Let It Permeate

I know that Jesus’ parable (fictional story told to make a point more clear) of the sower of seeds & types of ground it lands on, in Luke 8:4-15, is often talked about with relation to those who don’t accept Jesus, but I think it can be applied to anyone.

If you think about it, the seeds are the Word of God (truth from the Bible), not directly the Gospel (the beyond belief amazingly good news—aka Jesus dying & rising again to pay for OUR sins before God).

So, if we look at this chapter of the Bible from the POV of a Christian, what can we learn from it? What can it teach us about how we take in God’s Word?

The 4 Types of Soil

There are 4 types of ground Jesus mentions in this story: wayside, rocky, thorny, & good.

But He doesn’t leave it there. He elaborates in an explanation to His disciples of the meaning behind the different types of soil in this parable.

Jesus wants us to see a word picture of the different ways we receive His truth when we hear or read His Word. He wants us to be aware, to take notice of it. Why? Because He wants us to pay attention. He knows His Word nourishes our souls more than what makes sense to us logically. We need it more than we know.

When Seeds End Up on the Wayside–Distracted/Half-Hearted, Doesn’t Sink In

The wayside He describes, where the seeds are trampled & birds come & gobble up the seed tossed there (or, where the Word of God is heard/read), is Satan coming & snatching that truth right out of your head so that it can do you no good.

Now, to me, this sounds like reading the Bible half-heartedly… maybe because you feel you HAVE to…. Not necessarily because you WANT to. Maybe other things are on your mind, maybe you’re tired or distracted or just not into it that much. It kind of goes in one ear & out the other.

Why I Didn’t Read the Bible Regularly, Consistently

Well, this was a lot of my growing up. I assumed I just wasn’t any good at reading my Bible. I had tried SO MANY TIMES to be consistent, to “read the Bible in a year,” (funny how that’s not ever mentioned as a requirement in the Bible… aka, just start somewhere, just READ) etc. & always fell off to not reading anymore. Now, I went to church, Sunday school before church, attended Bible Studies, did devotionals, read edifying books… but as far as sitting down & just straight up reading through the Bible? Meh, didn’t feel I had the concentration for that.

I was wrong, of course. I had believed the Satan-fed lie that it was all up to me. That I had to “willpower my way through it, or else.” I thought that proved I believed God “enough” to please Him, if I could manage to force myself to do it.

And, as I said… I was wrong. So very completely wrong. No willpower needed, actually. None at all. NONE.

How God Helped Me Overcome My MANY Obstacles

All it took, my friend, was a willingness to LET GOD HELP ME DO IT. To say EVERY time, if needed, “God, why do I keep getting so distracted & off course? I am SO bad at this. Please forgive me. Will You help me stay on track right in this moment as I read? I trust that IF this pleases & honors You (which I know it does), THEN I can ALSO trust You to be MORE THAN sufficient in helping me accomplish it. So… please… help me. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!”

And then… immediately… I would just START reading, & trust that God would carry me through it in His power, not mine. (He DID. Every time. Even when it didn’t feel “easy.”)

Satan is crafty. He knows how to discourage you best. Headaches? You’ll get a lot of them. Distractions? You’ll get a lot of them. Hard time concentrating? It will forever be hard to concentrate.

Whatever gets you to put that Bible down… Satan knows. He will use it.

God is stronger.

When the Seeds End Up on the Rocks–And Temptations Come a Knockin’

The second type of soil is the rocky kind. This type, Jesus says, is like the Word of God that you receive & accept so willingly, with joy… but the second that temptation hits you, you immediately forget & toss out everything you deep down knew to be true when you heard it.

Listen, I am going to say this as gently as possible… because I am speaking to myself on this as well… author Jerry Bridges hit me over the head with this truth bomb, in his book “The Pursuit of Holiness” (go read this right now—SO GOOD): “There is no such thing as victory & defeat for a Christian in regards to sin, only obedience & disobedience, because once we trust on Jesus for our sin, God empowers the victory… if we’re willing to trust it & obey.” (paraphrased)

Jerry Bridges with Regard to Victory & Defeat VS Obedience & Disobedience

“Too often, we say we are defeated by this or that sin. No, we are not defeated. We are simply disobedient. It might be good if we stop using the terms victory and defeat to describe our progress in holiness. Rather, we should use the terms obedience and disobedience. When I say I am defeated by some sin, I am unconsciously slipping out from under my responsibility. I am saying something outside of me has defeated me. But when I say I am disobedient, that places the responsibility for my sin squarely on me. We may in fact be defeated, but the reason we are defeated is because we have chosen to disobey.

We need to brace ourselves up and to realize that we are responsible for thoughts, attitudes, and actions. We need to reckon on the fact that we died to sin’s reign, that it no longer has any dominion over us, that God has united us with the risen Christ in all His power and has given us the Holy Spirit to work in us. Only as we accept our responsibility and appropriate God’s provisions will we make any progress in our pursuit of holiness.” (Jerry Bridges, Pursuit of Holiness)

Do Not LET Sin Win–Surrender It to God for HELP

God GIVES US POWER TO OVERCOME! We HAVE to be WILLING to accept it, though. It takes surrender. It takes dying to self. It takes trusting God is God & knows what He is saying more so than the lies of your temptations.

But we have a choice. Once we have accepted the blood of Jesus to atone for our sin, we have a CHOICE. To sin or not to sin. It doesn’t rule us anymore.

But sometimes we let it, don’t we? Sometimes we feel out of control because we want to not stop it. We want to make excuses for it. To feel okay with it. That it isn’t really “that” bad.

But, when we do that… we are shriveling up the truth that gave life to us… that we knew in our heart was truth. Don’t allow your flesh to lie you out from under the blessings of TRUTH.

When the Seeds End Up in the Thorns/Snares–Don’t Let It Get Drowned Out

The third is the thorny ground. This ground hears God’s Word, but is so overcome by all things around that you don’t take it in.

Jesus mentions “cares, riches, pleasures.” This sounds to me like “responsibilities, routines, habits, pursuit of more, pursuit of above & beyond, pursuit of success, love of MORE, comforts, happiness, having what we’ve always wanted. Pursuit of SELF.”

I fall into all 3 of these aforementioned types of soil sometimes, or have at least in different times in my life. This one is no different. I forget sometimes that I can trust the Blessing-Giver more than I can the blessings He provides me.

I hold on to what makes me comfortable, feel secure, feel happy. I CLING.

And the truth gets choked out of me sometimes. I get numb to it. I lose sight of it. I lose sight of my trust in Him... of living for HIM more than I live for myself. I forget.

Assessing the Soil–Are You Taking in What You Read?

I’ve been distracted. I’ve wrestled with excuses. I’ve been fooled by temptations. I’ve chosen sin. I’ve trusted comforts more than the One Who supplied them to me.

But what can we do to change that for ourselves? What can we do to cultivate a type of soil that is described by Jesus as the “good” ground?

Having a noble & good heart, keeping that truth with patience, trusting God’s work & word & ways more than my own. Watching Him multiply His Word that I take into my heart, mind, & soul into a harvest of blessings both for myself & those around me… seeing the peace it provides, the joy, the security, the surety, the steadiness. Trusting God to be GOD. Letting God be God.

Where do you need to start? Which soil describes you most right now? What do you need to work on surrendering, apologizing, turning? Where do you need to ask for God’s help?

Shine HOPE by working to have a noble & good heart who trusts God through distractions, trusts God’s help (& TAKES it) through temptation lies, & trusts God is more sufficient & good than ANYTHING else you could be striving after—that He alone is where TRUE satisfaction, joy, & HOPE resides.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Cygnus Savings Set (EAST ASIA & INDIA)

This week only save when you purchase the Cygnus Savings Set!

Purchase this set to save on Artisan-made designs! The stunning Cygnus Mini Pouch has a detailed, hand embroidered white swan. Each Mini Pouch is handmade by women in India earning a dignified wage for their work. Also included in the Cygnus Savings Set is the Elva Rose Bracelet handcrafted by women escaping brothels in East Asia. The multicolored, jasper stone beaded bracelet includes square 18k gold-plated accent beads and one round gold bead for a gorgeous look!

***Purchase this set, using the “Shop Here” link below! Each design is created by women who are earning a dignified wage for their work, in an area of great need.***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

Depressed? Depression? What’s the Difference?

I see these two getting mixed up quite a lot, whether it’s in psychology circles or just discussions about it. Even in a recent Bible study book I was reading seemed to equate the two versus understanding their differences. I understand the intent, but it’s important to understand the distinction, so let’s get into it.

To start us off, I highly recommend you first read my previous post about “Understanding Depression with Discernment,” where I break this down in even more detail & offer some useful insight God has given me in my many years of struggling with depression while being a Christian & seeking God for wisdom & answers through those very difficult many years

The 5 Distinguishable Parts of Depression

The blog post I mentioned above helps distinguish between 5 parts of struggling with depression:

1. The Cause (chemical imbalance, etc.)
2. The Symptoms (numb, checked out, bleh, etc.)
3. The Consequences of Symptoms (easy jobs seem harder, you feel weaker/less capable, others may judge you, etc.)
4. How Satan Exploits Our Weakness (suicidal thoughts, questioning our value/worth, feeling beat down & worthless & a burden to family/friends)
5. Our Choice (Trust Satan’s VERY convincing LIES, or CLING TO TRUTH through prayer & God’s Word)

Read the post if you struggle–it was a life-changing & quite freeing realization for me. I hope it is the same for you.

One Doesn’t Automatically Include the Other

But, today, I want to hone in more on the huge difference between feeling DEPRESSED & having DEPRESSION.

The 2 don’t even have to coexist. You can possibly not have depression but be going through something REALLY hard that doesn’t let up & definitely feel very DEPRESSED. But you can also feel pretty okay & have DEPRESSION.

So, let’s talk about it. Because the more we talk about it, the more we can learn to remove the chains of “I have ______________, therefore, I AM _____________,” & learn some freedom through the clouds.

Depression

First, there’s depression. Having depression is something out of your control in some respects, although you CAN learn to help your brain out a bit. It’s not an attitude or bitterness or anything like that. There have been seasons where I felt I could not stop crying, but when I would try to seek out WHY, I found no logical reason. I was just SAD for no reason. It can be maddening. Like a weightiness pressing on me without a cause.

Now, I say that it’s out of your control “in some respects,” because there are things you can do to help your brain out.

Honoring God means stewarding well His blessings & gifts, including our bodies.

How Can We Help Our Brains?

We need to make sure to nourish & fuel it. You wouldn’t put syrup in your car’s gas tank & expect it to run well much longer & our bodies are much like that, but much more forgiving (at least temporarily). Make sure you are checking the nutritious value of your food intake, so your brain has the nourishment it needs to function well.

Drink plenty of water to help flush your body of toxins & keep yourself hydrated.

Make sure you’re getting regular/sound sleep.

Moving your body, even on several walks a week help keep everything in your body running more smoothly.

In some cases, even with stewarding your body well, your brain chemistry is just still out of whack, & so medication may be recommended in some cases. But make sure to try to give your body what it needs before supplementing with meds. All meds have side effects, but treating your body the way it longs to be treated only has good outcomes. Try that first.

THE Ultimate Depression Tip

But, aside from doing your part to keep your body functioning well, helping it out by treating it right, when those symptoms hit, there is an ultimate necessity that will be a make or break for you: PRAYER.

Now, if you rolled your eyes just now… I get it. REALLY get it. But that is because it is so easy to misunderstand prayer. It’s not about special words that do you any good… it’s about considering the WHO you’re talking to that makes a difference. HE can do what you just cannot.

Quick Detour: How Pain CAN Actually HELP Us

I think it’s too easy to skip this part, to think you just need to patch it, fix it, get the uncomfortable OUT. But you know what, in all my years of struggling with this & asking God WHY… “WHY are you letting me suffer?????” His answer both humbled & encouraged me more than I could have ever expected:

It was something like this realization: “You look around & you can see people, even Christians, basically ignoring Me in their day-to-day. They maybe pray before a meal, go to church, some just the “bare minimum.” They don’t think they need Me. But not you… you have never had the “luxury” of believing you could do this life on your own. You have been in a perpetual state of NEED most of your life. And because of it, you have seen Me come through for you & be faithful to you & do for you what others can’t see because they trust themselves over Me. Your faith has grown because you have needed Me so consistently & I have been your enough through every bit of it.”

The need, the lacking, the discomfort, the vulnerability… it is all HARD. But don’t try to run away from hard. Don’t just pop a pill & move on. Use it as your very ever-present reminder of your very real need of HIM as your EVERYTHING & not just when you think you need something.

No Fanfare, But All Power

So, back to the ultimate recommendation: PRAY. Turn to Him. Ask Him to help you where you can’t help yourself. To BE your strength to face your day.

I wake up numb some days. Like everything is through a hazy gray, black & white. Tired. Out of it. Don’t care. Just bleh.

Natural me? Can I fake a cough, put pjs back on, curl under the covers, & skip life today please? (I don’t EVER do this, but the temptation is VERY strong some days, let me tell you.)

But I have learned, that although saying some words to God in my head can sometimes feel like the equivalent of a child thinking they can fly to the moon using a cardboard box because they REALLY want it… basically unrealistic & not enough… it IS enough… because God doesn’t have to SHOW UP with fanfare & blaring trumpets & bright light & filling your room with robes, etc., with sparkling flow coming from His hands as He forms whatever it is you need in that moment or HEAL you in every way possible right there… to show His power to you. No.

His power is quiet. Unassuming. No fanfare whatsoever.

And yet… it works.

I pray. He hears. He helps.

He Helps

My wasted, worthless days, where I am just running at 0% wondering how I am going to even manage to go to work that day, let alone all the chores & responsibilities I have waiting. He helps. He supplies. Every single time.

I pray & I ask God to help be my supply. I ask Him to be my strength when I feel I have none. I ask for encouragement & wisdom, peace & strength. I ask for my next step. I ask for HELP. And He supplies.

Do I do this every day? No. Honestly, some days I give up & get tired of needing to ask for help. I want to be selfish & not need it. I want to be self-sufficient & I get tired of constant NEED. I’m sorry to God for that. For wanting to be my own God. He is SO patient & gentle & faithful with me & I truly don’t deserve it.

The Important Distinction Between Feeling Depressed & Having Depression

Now for the feeling depressed part. It’s actually not synonymous with having depression. You can actually have depression & not spiral into feeling depressed, although you are definitely a lot more susceptible & vulnerable to it…. (*Go back up & read that original recommended post at the start if you want a little more FREEdom on this.)

But, as I admitted, I struggle wanting to surrender my weakness every day. I get worn. I get selfish. I want to be okay without help. I want to not feel so weak anymore.

And yes, deep down, if I am willing to admit how selfish that sounds & then submit that to God for a change of attitude, I can see every time that the weakness is worth seeing how capable God is.

Satan Likes to Beat Us While We’re Down

But there is always that war with the flesh. Always needing to make it die to self, to submit. And that is hard every day. It’s not easy to surrender. And sometimes I have to ask God to even help me to WANT change of attitude. If you know, you know.

Feeling depressed is of the enemy. Satan wants us to give up. He wants us to believe his lies. He wants us to sink into despair. He wants us to demand to be able to count on ourselves vs constantly needing God. He wants us doubting God. Satan wants us in chains, bondage, fear, anxiety, pain, hatred, bitterness. That’s where he wants us.

And when you have depression… it’s true… you’re weaker to it. It feels so easy to believe it. You’re vulnerable, needy even. Others oftentimes don’t get it. Eye rolls are caught in the corner of your eye. Compassion is often lacking. You get misunderstood. You feel like a burden.

Depressed Without Depression

It’s not always bitterness, bad attitude, etc. Sometimes life is just HARD.

Even if you don’t have depression, sometimes life hits you SO HARD out of nowhere. Happy, fun, laughter memories & then BAM sideswiped & your loved one is gone. Or infidelity, cancer, loss of a child, infertility, betrayal, abuse… life on this earth is very very hard sometimes, isn’t it? Sin wreaks havoc wherever it goes.

And it’s hard. So hard. So hard not to just feel the pain wash over you & knock you off your feet, swirling & tossing & trying to come up for air, choking on the hurt in your heart like a lump in your throat.

Sometimes it is sin. Your own sin? Guilt, shame, getting yourself in a mess. Sometimes it’s sin in the form of unresolved bitterness, refusal to forgive, refusal of God’s help, refusal to trust God’s plan or promises.

You don’t have to have depression to be depressed. Life is hard sometimes.

But… God.

God IS ALWAYS Enough

That power I mentioned? The no-fanfare power? The one that seems like “how could it ever?” & yet, does? It’s still there in that, too. God meets us where we are. He doesn’t ask us to pretty up pain before we come to Him IN it.

He can handle it. He can take it.

Sometimes, I have hard days. My depression gets the better of me. I’m not suicidal, but often have days where I find myself asking God if I could have a heart attack maybe so I could just go to heaven so I don’t ever have to feel hurt again. I know that makes some of you uncomfortable to read, but it’s the truth. And the worst part is, I know I have nothing in my life to warrant that. Nothing worthy of wanting to leave for heaven so badly some days. And yet.

God As My Comfort

I sometimes, in the hard, picture God, as best I can from a human mind never having seen Him in all of His splendor & majesty, & I picture Him as a huge giant of a man who fills a room, big & mighty. And I crawl up into the crook of his elbow & nestle in, knowing He has me & won’t ever let me go.

Knowing He’s faithful & kind, gentle & loving. He won’t ever let me go.

And then I thought, but there will be such great demand for this from everyone if this were as He is. But then it dawned on me… God is so infinite in nature, that He could be that for me AND for everyone else INDIVIDUALLY because of how infinite & vast He is.

What We NEED to Remember When We ARE DEPRESSED

In all the hard of life, I think it’s so, SO important to remember what God instructs us in Philippians 4:8 Think on those things. Be INTENTIONAL in it. Life will always have HARD, but it will also always have GOOD, because God is GOOD.

Remember to PRAISE Him… to WORSHIP… to THANK Him. Don’t quote verses about it… DO IT. You will be surprised how often it lifts your soul from the miry muck to peace in remembering an awe for all God is & has done for you. REMEMBER.

Put on the armor OF GOD every day. (Ephesians 6:10-18) Remember the impossible peace He can offer IN the storm. Remember if you trust on Jesus to cover your sins against God by His dying on the cross & rising again… you are SAVED from your sin & NOTHING can take that from you. Remember FAITH… not in the superficial ideal of hope, but faith in what GOD can do where you can’t. Remember God’s Word as TRUTH no matter what you see or feel. Remember to make God-honoring choices, even & especially when you don’t FEEL like it. Remember to PRAY.

(*Read about the armor OF God in more detail on a previous post of mine: “What Good Is the Armor of God? (Part 1/2” & “What Good Is the Armor of God? (Part 2/2)”)

If you can’t fight anymore, I get you. In your heart, when you have no strength to pray, close your eyes & picture crawling up into the nook of His arms, letting Him hold you in perfect peace despite the world. Let Him be for you what you can’t for yourself.

It is okay to not be okay. But don’t let the enemy win… let God.

Shine HOPE by calling out to God & trusting He hears you. He sees you. He loves you.

***Read these other past posts about Depression: “Depression & Me”; “Depression: the Devil’s Playground”; “The Sin Problem That Lurks in Depression & Struggles”; “Pivot, Pivot! #3-The Dungeon of Depression-The Journey of Truth”; “Sometimes God Doesn’t Take the Pain Away.” ***

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 6.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Awakening Necklace (INDIA)

Create safe jobs for women in India when you shop the Awakening Necklace. The intricate design of this necklace makes it uniquely customizable, featuring its twisted burgundy and gold cord with a gold-tone pendant charm and adjustable golden bead for easy wearing. This necklace is easy to pull over your head and adjust to your perfect length.

***Every purchase, using the “Shop Here” link below, creates safe jobs with fair wages in areas of extreme poverty in India.***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

God Can Heal What Can’t Be Healed

Okay, this one’s personal. This one isn’t a very popular topic to be openly discussed, but again, if the church isn’t talking about it, then all we can hear is the world’s opinion, & seeing how God says that our hearts are “desperately wicked” & “deceitful above all things,” well, we probably shouldn’t be turning to the world around us for truth on this subject. (Jeremiah 17:9)

When I was [single digit] years old, I was flipping through our 8-channel tv (yes, I am that old), & I saw a woman with no clothes on a man with no clothes. Showed too much (not like porn, but definitely much too much for a chance sighting through simple channel flipping by a child.)

That singular moment bore itself into my brain a proclivity toward lust. Fantasizing. (With the amount of raunchy &/or suggestive ads that come up when playing a kid game app on my phone, I worry about these next generations & the addictions that will stem from it, completely unbeknownst to their parents.)

I Felt the Need to be “Wantable”

Couple that with the fact that I felt like the fattest, most unappealing girl in any given friend circle, leading to me using flirting & innuendos to gain affection & admiration from my peers at school.

Desperate, hormone-charged, insecure, ill-judgment-ridden me thought I had to be what guys wanted in order to be wantable or likeable. And I wanted to be wantable & likeable.

I didn’t always make the best decisions. But boy did I have loopholes “figured out” in my mind to “justify” them, because the big offender was sex of any kind & well, I was “just using words.”

[God wasn’t fooled.]

A Friend Hurt Me

And eventually, I faced sexual assault. I wasn’t raped, but I was touched inappropriately without consent repeatedly & on multiple occasions, & some by close male friends. I had made them believe that’s the type of girl I was—not that that gives them any right remotely, but I did make them think I was okay with it. I very much was not, but was too afraid to seem “prude” or like I was making too big a deal of “nothing“ to speak up.

It made me feel cheap, used, disposable. It made me feel I had no worth or value, just seen as an object for desire… to be used… & not much more. It left me feeling an ick no length of shower could wash away.

We’re Often Treated As Disposable… Not Treasured

This is no new thing for many, MANY females. (I once had a guy ask to touch me somewhere inappropriate within MINUTES of being introduced to me by a friend, “because he liked them.” (ew) And that was one of MANY countless harassing/uncomfortable situations I have experienced, even by strangers, throughout my lifetime.

Tv shows, music, movies, all have examples of women depicted as sexual objects, comments from men/boys in them being centered on how hot they are or whether they would want them based on how hot they are, or the opposite, how much they would be grossed out if she didn’t “look hot.”

Women are used to being portrayed as the busty eye candy ogled & talked to/about suggestively throughout a movie, music video, show, etc., not holding much additional value to the plot.

Sexual Assault/Harassment Causes Heart Scars That God Can Heal

Assault is common. More common than you think. Some is just minimalized as “just joking around,” but it’s not funny. In my travels abroad, even, I have witnessed grown men ogling nude magazines shamelessly in the middle of a convenience store aisle, & even countrywide laws where no phones are able to have a feature where you can turn off the sound for taking a picture so as to prevent men taking pictures up skirts on the train. It’s nothing new—there are forms of the exploitation of women all over the world.

Even in dating, the pressure to have sex is almost unquestioned these days by youth, as if it’s just EXPECTED. As if our dating value is dependent on offering our BODIES once again!

No wonder there is so much damage in this area! No wonder there is distrust, closed off-ness, lack of vulnerability, distance, turning to erotica, fantasizing, or even porn. Women are widely taught that men are not safe spaces when it comes to sexuality.

We Bring the Damage Done with Us

Then, we get married. And all that baggage gets dumped on our husband. And he doesn’t get why he has to pay the price for what he didn’t do to you.

But he does. The fear gut reaction doesn’t just go away because you’re married now.

The ick of giving in to being ogled or heckled or touched or talked about inappropriately because you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it or cause a scene… it sticks with you.

Because I was assaulted by someone I cared a lot about, multiple times before my other friend coached me & pushed me to have the courage to stop it… I was subconsciously terrified of someone desiring me, because last time it had happened, it made someone who I cared about choose getting what he wanted from me above caring for my wellbeing... choose hurting me over protecting me–because of his desire for me.

And it wasn’t fair to my husband. He never hurt me.

When You Have Trouble Believing God Knows What He’s Talking About–Sexual Vulnerability/Intimacy After Hurt

But you read how God talks about marriage & sexual intimacy & the safety & security there… the freedom to love your spouse wholly & freely & to be loved back just the same way… & it just seems like a joke, a pipe dream… an impossibility… a nice thought… a non-reality. But God DESIGNED sex. And He set rules for it to protect it–if we but trust Him.

So, after all of those distorted views on sexual intimacy through fantasizing, that only became worse after I was assaulted because then I was in control & no one else… plus being degraded by strangers & friends alike throughout my lifetime… plus seeing how pretty much all media portrayed desire/worth/value through how hot you were (aka your value equaling mainly sex appeal)….

Well, how am I supposed to believe God knows what He’s talking about? That HIS design WORKS?

Sin Robs Freedom & Joys

The fear of being vulnerable was so intense the first 5 or so years of marriage. It was so hard to switch from protect-myself mode to intimacy with another person. I still struggle on occasion.

I so often relied on fantasies vs my husband because it felt safer than being vulnerable. I used to go into fight or flight in intimate situations & eventually learned to excuse myself to the restroom so I could reset, pray, & re-coach my brain by telling it this was different… this wasn’t THAT.

How was I supposed to trust HIS design, when literally everything in my world SCREAMED the opposite?

You see sitcoms where the running joke is implied that after marriage, sex just doesn’t happen anymore. And I think part of that is a whole lot of what I’ve been talking about. Plus, the fact that for women, it’s usually us feeling SAFE & CARED FOR & absolutely CHERISHED that gets us in the mood really, & when life is crazy & busy & distractions are ABOUNDING, it’s really hard for a woman to settle into that head space & trust in being vulnerable.

Though It Seems Easier to Trust Our Own Solutions… Trust Instead That God Can Heal What’s Broken & Renew That Sense of Safe Space to be Vulnerable Again

It just seems easier to rely on steamy novels for some women, fantasizing, or even porn (let’s stop pretending men are the only ones who struggle with THAT temptation). Even if it’s “just” steamy novels, don’t pretend that’s any better either (as someone once wisely put it to me—those novels being made available to us means someone had to write it—so reading it encourages those people to keep fantasizing up sexual stories).

But all that just leaves us with is further disconnect. A lack of intimate connection to our spouse. Distance. Lack of enjoying each other together. Lack of freedom in your expression of love for each other.

That’s how fantasizing hurts. It encourages solo vs shared. It encourages selfish control vs shared vulnerability. It encourages isolation vs intimacy.

And it’s something I still have to wrestle. Ever since that one little scene my innocent single-digit me saw when flipping channels, fantasizing has been my companion. I was in control. I was safe… or so I thought. And now it’s addiction that I have to battle from time to time. And I lose sometimes… or rather, I choose to dishonor God because my lust shoves Him aside selfishly & foolishly.

God Designed Sexual Intimacy… So Let Him Set the Boundaries… & Trust Him to Renew What Is Broken or Hurt

But I have seen God help shift the narrative. I have seen Him working. I have seen changes. I am learning to say, “God, I don’t think I can go without this, but I have to believe Your plan & design is better than mine, even as false as that may seem to me at any given moment. I have to trust that You can where I can’t. That You can change me. That You can help me rebuild. That You can help me have the free trust in my own marriage despite all of the poison I have encountered throughout my own lifetime, whether through media, strangers, friends, or through myself & my wrong, sinful choices. Please help me to believe that You know what You’re talking about & that Your design is best AND possible, even in the reality I’m in… even after all the years of mistakes I have made in contributing to my damaged view of possibility. Help me continue to change for Your way over mine, choosing to trust You more than my own desires for safety my way. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Shine HOPE by choosing to trust God & do it His way, even when you have trouble believing it can ever be possible. Where you can’t. He CAN. God is in the business of making all things new—even you, even in this.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 6.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Ginkgo Leaf Earrings–Golden (INDIA)

When you shop the Ginkgo Earrings (also available in silver-tone), you are creating safe jobs for women in areas of extreme poverty in India. These stunning, sculpted earrings are the perfect fair-trade fashion statement! Each gold-tone Ginkgo Earring features two connected ginkgo-shapes to create this beautiful dangle earring!

***Shop these beautifully handcrafted earrings from India, using the “Shop Here” link below, to empower women in India out of poverty!***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!