We all have been hurt at some point in our lives—I feel pretty confident in that claim—but have you ever recognized ways that those hurts effect your reactions to others?
Does your insecurity rear up? Do you feel immediately offended? Do you withdraw? Do you go on the offensive?
I think for me, it sometimes depends how my hormones/sleep is going, but I have felt & reacted in all of the above for sure.
My Way or God’s Will?
But the more time I spend getting to know God & His heart through His Word & spending time talking with Him, the Holy Spirit convicts my heart about those things… that those reactions don’t line up with how God instructs us to react… no matter how natural those responses may feel in the moment.
So, if they feel so natural yet don’t line up with God’s instructions… which is wrong–I ask that rhetorically of course, because anything that contradicts God’s Word is, by default, wrong.
And yet, it feels so “it’s just how it is” & “well, I can’t help it—that’s just my personality.”
Nope. Cop out alert right there. If a pattern in my heart contradicts God’s instruction, I should not so easily accept the contradiction… I should seek to correct it through prayer with God, time in His Word (the Bible), & counsel from mature believers in Jesus to help me get to the root of the disconnect & cooperate with the Holy Spirit in His weeding it OUT of my natural patterns.
A surrender to His will versus my wrong patterns. God’s will over my way.
Trading My Learned Path for His
I think a lot of my wrong reactions stem from my brokenness in this sin-torn world.
It’s easy to learn patterns that maybe help me protect myself, put up walls, save face, act like “who cares about you anyway?” But a more Jesus-like response would be staying soft, with tenderness, grace, kindness, & patient, longsuffering love toward one another come what may.
Strength coming from HIM & NOT my learned defense mechanisms.
I may be tempted to start up with, “But they…..!!!”
But then I remember: “But, He….”
Keeping My Mouth Shut Is Not the Same as Having a Right Reaction
It is quite true that God has worked a number on this area of my life already, in that I usually can at least keep my mouth shut, but He hears my thoughts & my real heart about things… & He cares about that, too.
So, how do I take my natural, gut reactions & turn them over to allow the Holy Spirit to produce in me His fruit? (Galatians 5:22-23)How do I learn to respond only in a way that honors, pleases, & gives God the glory?
Well, it goes back to my favorite little word—surrender.
It Takes Surrender
I have to be willing to yield my way that feels so right… for His help to do it His way.
To say, “God, ooooh how I hate the way they said that just now & boy do I want to be snarky right now….! But… please forgive me. Jesus died for that, too. Help me to have Your patient, GRACIOUS (by definition: undeserving) LOVE toward them. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7; 1 John 4:16; John 3:16-17)Help me to pray for them(Matthew 5:43-44) versus rehearsing their words or behavior all day. Help me entrust my hurt to You. Be my comfort & heal my heart & help me to forgive & let You handle it. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”
The Triggers Come in Many Forms
Sometimes it’s just an unexpected, raised eyebrow from someone (like: “really, Michelle? That was dumb.”). Sometimes it’s criticism when you expected praise. Sometimes it’s an unkind word that felt like a complete slap to your face. Sometimes it’s rudeness in exchange for your intended kindness. Sometimes it’s a careless response to a sensitive topic. Sometimes it’s a lack of understanding or a misunderstanding or a total unwillingness to even try to be understanding.
There are many triggers that can catch me off guard & cause my walls SPRING UP, where I feel attacked & on the defense & I’m insecure & hurt & I think, “how can they even THINK that way!”
But, I come back to that prayer of… surrender.
How Does God Respond to ME?
Oh, how many times have I offended God? How many times has He tried to communicate a truth to me & I did the opposite because His way didn’t make me feel good? How many times have I dared question the Almighty God who sent Jesus to die for my debt to Him?(Romans 5:8; John 3:16-17)
And yet, how does He respond to me?With tenderness. With grace. With patience. With love. With forgiveness. With hope.
Responding from a heart of brokenness versus God’s grace is the most natural thing I can do.But boy does it spit on all God offers me in exchange for all of my deep unworthiness.
Responding from a Heart of Brokenness Versus God’s Grace
Take some time to do a mental assessment next time you rear up in response to something, or want to hit back with your words, or think nasty thoughts toward someone else because of what they said or did or how they acted toward you.
Accept responsibility if your response may not exactly line up with God’s response to you & take a minute to confess that to God right away. Jesus paid for that stray thought or outburst of anger & hurt. Confess it to God & ask His forgiveness. He will forgive. (1 John 1:9)
And be willing to surrender that very real gut feeling to God’s gracious way instead.
Pray for God’s perspective to grow in your heart… a perspective of His grace… when all you may want to do is respond from your heart of brokenness.
Shine HOPE by letting God’s grace trump how you feel when you are wronged &/or hurt by someone else & by praying for them versus attacking, withdrawing, or slandering their name to others for validation. Shine HOPE, through Him & for Him.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Soleil Earrings (INDIA)
(Shown: Soleil Earrings, handcrafted in India. Every purchase of these beautiful earrings empowers women in India out of poverty!)
Make a fair-trade fashion statement with the Soleil Earrings! These gorgeous earrings feature a rectangle chalcedony stud with a hammered brass rectangle accent and colorful beaded fringe in shades of blue, gold, teal, and light pink. These unique artisanal earrings are handcrafted in a workshop in India that’s committed to fighting child marriage and helping women become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans.
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
If you know me, or have been following my blog any time over the last 5 years (how has it been 5 years?!), then you probably have gathered that I have big feelings. For good or for bad, whether people enjoy it or hate it… I have big feelings.
Sometimes I love it, because it infuses my good days with so much zest, but the bad days are rough because I feel things so deeply it seems to sometimes affect me in a physical way with overwhelm & zoning out & feeling crushed beneath the weight of them.
And of course then you add in the depression. Now, this isn’t wallowing in despair depression—feeling depressed is not the same as having depression… although, if I allow it to consume me, it can very well lead to feeling & BEING depressed. But, on its own, it’s just a general sense of feeling numb & checked out of life… like everything just feels like a meaningless blur. And when I say, “I just don’t care,” it’s not in an obstinate, rolling my eyes type of thing, but rather just literally not caring about much of anything because I just feel numb as if I am just existing through my day.
But whether it’s my depression symptoms dragging me down to the dust, like a ball & chain clasped to my ankles as I try to walk through mud & haze… or whether it’s an emotional high where I just want to live life with fullness & vibrancy feeling free from the haze… or whether some thing or another knocks me to the ground with unexpected hurt or overwhelm that halts me in my tracks… no matter what it is that my feelings are feeling… it should not affect my obedience to God.
Chasing Happy Highs
Not allowing feelings to affect my obedience to God is a hard one for me. Our bodies are meant to release “happy hormones” when we accomplish tasks… there is a natural reward system built into our brains… & when that malfunctions & life feels empty & numb & void of feeling… well, I want to zone out & avoid at all costs how trapped & stuck that makes me feel. I want to chase “happy highs” however possible—tv, food, games, shopping trip, etc.
And what I DON’T feel like doing is to buckle down & DO IT ANYWAY.
I heard a quote today from the pastor at church this morning from Augustine maybe? The quote went something like: “God made us for Himself & we will remain restless until we seek our rest in Him.” Something like that. And isn’t that so true?
I can chase “happy highs” all I want, but until I seek my rest in Him, I will always be restless. I NEED Him.
Obeying God Is for My Good
Part of resting in God is realizing that I NEED to obey HIM rather than my feelings, recognizing that obedience to God is for my own good because all of what God commands is for my good.
I mean, think about it… just even looking at the basic 10 Commandments given to Moses for the people, by God, you can see it. (Genesis 20:1-17) Don’t steal, don’t commit adultery, love your neighbor as yourself, etc. His commands are basically—treat each other WELL!(Luke 6:31; Matthew 7:12)God even goes so far as to say that all the commands can be summed up under “love God with your all & the second being like it to love your neighbor as yourself.”(Paraphrase) (Matthew 22:36-40)
We were made to love God. We are designed to worship, honor, & glorify Him… & to love others.
Of course, we can’t be SAVED from our SIN against God by obeying these very good God-given commands(they are given as law to reveal our need for Him) (Romans 3:20; Romans 7:7) … because we will never ever get it spot on 24/7–that’s why God sent Jesus to pay our debt so if we repent or turn from our sin, ask for forgiveness, & turn to God, through Jesus, as your hope… you are saved… through your faith in Him.(Romans 3:23-24; Romans 10:9-11)
BUT, those 10 commandments, although they can’t save our souls, are still commands worthy of obedience… as are all of God’s teaching in the Bible… because it honors Him & it’s for our good.
We NEED to Obey… We NEED His Truth & Way of Life because It’s What We Were MADE to NEED
Obedience to God, though, is not just avoiding doing the “thou shalt nots” of the Bible… it’s a living out a life of seeking to know & love Him more… bowing how I want to respond for what honors & glorifies HIM (through asking for His wisdom & help doing it)… a determining to represent Him well & intentionally in your interactions with others & in how you express love for others. Obedience, at its core, means a life lived for HIM, through Him.
God knows we need it. We NEED Him. We NEED prayer (a plugging into HIM & HIS resources)(Proverbs 3:5-6; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), We NEED to feed our souls on His Word (the Bible). God tells us to even CRAVE His Word as newborn babies crave milk & NEED it to survive. (1 Peter 2:2-3)
Obedience isn’t some super religious thing we do to prove how religious we are.
Checking My Motivations in My Obedience to God—Time in His Word, the Bible
We read our Bibles, not because we feel like a “terrible Christian” if we don’t, guilted into keeping up with it & shame-building as we miss day after day throughout the year…. We read our Bibles because 1. It honors God to seek to know & love Him better/more, & 2. We are influenced & impacted by the world every moment of our life & we NEED to be INTENTIONAL in feeding our soul with TRUTH to ground us in this crazy world we live in.
God isn’t keeping track with hand on hip & a raised, judgy eyebrow, making note of: “still waiting to see if they prove their love for me ENOUGH.” Jesus paid for that missed day, week, year, or even lifetime—it’s in the past & if you have repented of it, God has forgiven it. God isn’t expecting a “read through the Bible in a year” OR ELSE: “BAM—Bad Christian alert!”
But God is honored every time we DO pick up our Bibles & commit to reading it, thinking on it, dwelling on it, & referring back to it when we face circumstances that come up in life, preparing ourselves with His Word that He made sure we would have access to because He made sure it was written all those many years ago.
Why Do I Pray?
We pray, not just before meals & before bed “because it’s what a good Christian person does.” We don’t do it to seem pious or religious. We do it because we NEED HIM EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY.
It’s not about repeating special words or making sure we say, “Father” enough times in our prayer. It’s not about praying “enough times” to get God to act. It’s not about getting God to give you everything you want your way as if He’s your personal enforcer while you sit in the seat of authority.
Prayer is about submission to an Almighty God Who is HOLY & deserving of all & holds ALL authority in heaven AND earth & yet keeps His throne-room door open at all times for all requests & pleas.
Prayer is about recognizing it’s all about Him, all FOR Him, all THROUGH Him. Prayer is about recognizing that God is GOD, & I am NOT.
Prayer is about plugging in to our Vine. (John 15:1-17)What can a branch bring forth without being connected to its life-giving Vine?What can we produce of worth without plugging into Him as our life-giving source? He is the source of our being. He is our nourishment. He is our peace. He is our enabling strength, even when we ourselves are depleted.
Prayer is about both recognizing & expressing our need, as well as turning to the One where our need may be met, even beyond what we imagine Him capable. (Ephesians 3:20-21; Luke 1:37)
To Feel Like a “Good Person” or to Honor, Please, & Glorify God?
And living for God isn’t about getting in “enough” service hours each week to prove how dedicated we are to serving God. It’s not about proving to or earning anything from God. It’s not about “being a good person.” (Romans 3:10-12; Ephesians 2:8-10)
Living in obedience to serve Him & love others, seeking to honor & please & glorify Him in every thought, reaction, & interaction is simply for that reason—to honor, please, & glorify HIM—because He is deserving of it. Not because I feel like it, & neither should I avoid it because I DON’T feel like it.
Feelings & Obedience Shouldn’t Affect Each Other
So, yes, sometimes my depression symptoms mean that I am zoned out, feel nothing, get no “happy hormone” reward for doing it… & yet I say a little prayer:“God, please forgive me for how badly I want to avoid this right now because I DO NOT FEEL LIKE IT…please forgive me & help me do it anyway, because I want to honor You & I know I need You whether or not I feel like it will help at all right now. Please forgive my attitude & help me to honor You anyway. In Jesus’ name, I pray—AMEN.” And then I open my Bible & my current study, turn to the right page, click on my pen & begin my study each morning… whether I FEEL like it or not.
Feelings & obedience shouldn’t affect each other. Bad feelings too bad? Good feelings too distracting? Numbness clouding over any desire to do anything? Do it anyway—with God’s help.
We’re Meant to Need & Ask for His Help to Obey
Through Andrew Murray’s book on Prayer, a compilation of his works, I learned that so many Christians burn out either by guilt-driven obedience or self-driven obedience… or they just give up because they feel they just can’t(both were me at different points in my life)—too busy, too distracted, too numb, too tired, too sick, etc.—but that so many of commands given in the Bible are either followed by or preceded by “by God, through God, by faith, or through faith.” In other words? We’re not meant to be ABLE to obey Him… ON OUR OWN WITHOUT HIS HELP. We are MEANT to need His help & to turn to Him for that help in our walk of obedience.
So, if you feel you can’t obey Him for WHATEVER reason, you’re in good company! Take that to God & be honest with Him & ask for His help: “God, please forgive me for my lack… help me know when to fit it in & help me to LISTEN when You give the nudge in that time… help me to focus… help me to concentrate… help my WANT.” RELY ON & COUNT ON His help.
And when emotions are running wild or feel non-existent… remember that feelings & obedience shouldn’t affect each other. God can help if you are willing to let Him. Let Him help.
Shine HOPE by determining to honor, please, & glorify God through obedience, whether you feel like it or not… by making sure to turn to Him diligently & consistently for His help.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Tranquility Ring Set (India)
(Shown: Tranquility Ring Set, handmade in India. Every purchase empowers women in India out of poverty.)
This set of 2 adjustable rings can be worn stacked together or separately! A silver-toned plated brass ring with a simple twist perfectly complements the gorgeous chalcedony ring. This small oval-shaped, faceted chalcedony stone is set in silver-toned plated brass featuring a design on the silver band.
***Every purchase empowers women to earn fair wages for their work and to end cycles of poverty for her family.***
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
I haven’t been feeling well, so this will probably be a short post this week, but I wanted to still get on here & hopefully pass on some encouragement to you.
Sometimes God gives you exactly what you ask of Him when you’re in need, to show you that He is able to provide your every need, but sometimes He doesn’t, because He wants you to recognize that He is your true & only need.
God’s Impossible Peace
Being sick recently has only been a reminder of living through both the super typhoon on Guam, as well as the 2 months of sleeplessness I endured months ago. In my crying out to Him for help—for the end of my struggling—He didn’t remove the struggle, which frustrated me for sure, but it taught me that when the suffering didn’t end, He was right there in the suffering to comfort me & give me strength.
It’s a strange thing to both recognize how miserable & weak you are & still feel a sense of okay-ness about it—like God’s got you even if things don’t get any easier.
I guess it all goes back to His impossible peace, (read about that, here: “How You Can Have Impossible Peace”) which He supplies when we learn to rest in Him. It’s “impossible peace” because it makes no sense & shouldn’t be able to exist in the midst of your current circumstances—& yet somehow, there it is to carry you through.
“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
Having “Even If” Type Faith
I will be the first to admit that I hate suffering. I want my comfort zone like my life depends on it… which is why I have gone through some pretty bad pits of spiralling despair—like in Hokkaido when I begged for an easier time & God did not supply that relief. I didn’t understand then that God wanted me to learn to find my hope in Him rather than in the end of my struggling.
Having an “Even If” type of faith is not easy (read more about what it means to have “even if” faith, here: “Even If…”), because sometimes it means accepting that the hard will just keep on coming… that you will continue to feel weak & incapable & at the end of yourself… but the truth is that we cannot control our circumstances, that hard will come whether we like it or not, & that God never promises easy… so you have a choice in that—to turn to our source of HOPE or turn away from Him & struggle without His comfort, love, strength, & care to see you through it with His peace.
A Quick Encouragement on Finding Hope When Suffering Doesn’t Seem to Stop
Even knowing all of this, I still struggle choosing Him. I want the hard to just stop & feel frustrated, hurt & sometimes even angry when He doesn’t make it so.
But every new hard is an opportunity for me to practice turning to Him instead, even if I don’t understand why He allows the suffering… so I can see that while I hate the suffering, He is always sufficient in it.
What will you choose next time?Or maybe you’re facing suffering right now?
Choosing to Turn to God When the Hard Doesn’t Stop
My sore throat has made it hard to swallow with the swelling & painful irritation… so sleep has eluded me for most of 2 nights now, plus continued pain & discomfort & trust me… I am so over it! I just want the constant pain, discomfort, & sleeplessness (& nighttime sobs) to end so I can feel like myself again—I’m even visiting family for the only time this year!
But I am going to make conscious effort to say, “God, I may hate feeling this way, but over the last 2 days, in my suffering, discomfort, inconvenient sickness, & pain… I have seen You show up & help me maintain an attitude that allowed me to still make happy memories with the family we are visiting rather than wallowing in despair from the constant pain. You have given me strength & have comforted me when I felt comfort was going to be absolutely impossible. You have given me peace when the pain annoyingly persisted. I would love for you to end this pain right now, & ask You now to that end—please take away my pain—but if not, help me to remember that You really are truly sufficient when the suffering continues on. Thank You for looking out for me, even when I am so tempted to write You off in my sometimes overwhelming frustration & temptation to turn away from You or demand my way. Please forgive me for my obstinate desire to depend on myself alone. Thank You for always being quick to be there for me & with me through the hardest times in life,even when my attitude sometimes proves less than deserving. You are faithful, even when I am not. You are a Good God. Thank You. Please continue to care for me & help me through this sickness & PLEASE heal me or point me to relief somehow. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.
Shine HOPE by determining to turn to God as your hope rather than solely seeking the end of your struggles & suffering as your source of hope.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
July 2023 Hope Mail (India)
(Shown: July 2023 Hope Mail—every purchase empowers women in India out of poverty!)
FOR A LIMITED TIME – Only available during the month of July!
Who do you know who would love a beautiful package filled with hope in their mailbox? This exclusive July Hope Mail package makes a great gift for any occasion! Why not treat yourself to a little inspiration? Enjoy free shipping on this July Hope Mail package that includes our Kalina Earrings from India, Orange Sun Kissed Lip Balm from India, and an encouraging sticker mailed in a stylish Fashion as a Force for Good Envelope.
Imagine the joy of opening this July Hope Mail package and discovering these eco-friendly fair-trade earrings! Artisans in India handcraft these vibrant, cheerful Kalina Earrings. Each statement earring features a gold-tone hammered triangle with a hand-beaded, color-block pattern in turquoise, bright coral, and yellow. Every pair of Kalina Earrings helps to end child marriage and keep families out of the slums of India!
Add a touch of artisanal style to your skincare routine with the Sun Kissed Orange Lip Balm while creating fair jobs for women ending poverty cycles in India. Handmade from sustainably harvested beeswax with a sweet and fruity orange scent, this moisturizing lip balm helps naturally heal dry skin.
Inspire yourself or someone you love with this exclusive, vinyl, Trades of Hope Lotus Sticker with the encouraging message, “That dream was planted in your heart for a reason.”
***Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India where vulnerable women are often exploited by sweatshops and human traffickers.***
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
Are you someone like me who has inner dialogue with yourself all the time?
I mull over things. I stress trying to come up with answers. I worry, wondering how something could work out if I don’t come up with answers. I think over every angle & how I can fix something when nothing seems to be going right.
I rehash uncomfortable or hurtful conversations, trying to figure out where I went wrong or why the other person said what they said or how I could have handled it any better.
I get frustrated when inconvenienced or when I’m the victim of outright rude behavior & then I go through all of my could have, would have, should haves, knowing the moment has already passed. I get annoyed & inwardly fume at whatever they did that was hurtful to me.
I daydream. I create whole worlds in my head that I can escape to when I don’t have a good book on hand. It’s how I soothe when bored or restless.
I try to soothe myself or justify my reaction in my head or talk myself out of or through whatever I am feeling.
I sit in guilt when I mess up. I mull over it & stress about it & kick myself, beating myself up when I make a wrong choice with my attitude or behavior or reaction for the millionth time that day.
And in all of those things, I ought to be talking to God about it instead.
Turn My Thoughts to Prayers
That’s a hard thing for me to come to terms with. I mean, I know God is always listening—He always hears me—& I know we’re supposed to “pray without ceasing,” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)but I guess it just comes so naturally to just think it over in my head versus acknowledging His presence is with me in every situation.
It’s much easier to do all of the above & then talk to family or friends about it than to remember, “Oh yeah, God… You’re right there, aren’t You? You saw that. You heard that. You know how to & can help me… so let me bring it to You.”
But it’s more than that, isn’t it? Because somehow I want to feel capable or feel I ought to be able to figure it out as a grown up adult. I guess because turning to Him instead takes faith & it takes practice & surrender.It takes letting go of control & giving it to Him instead.
Have Faith in the GOD Who Loves You!
Going to God instead of handling it myself takes faith because I have to take a step back to recognize He is GOD—& I am not. He literally knows EVERYTHING. He SEES everything. He HEARS everything—even thoughts. He also has perfect wisdom & cares about me.
He cares about me. There’s another place of needed faith…. That He cares enough to step into my little (or big) issue & help me. That He is never too busy because He is infinite. That He can’t be diminished, no matter how great or little my need. That whatever seems “just the way it is” to me is never impossible to change for Him… & that whatever change He determines is needed… is for my actual good.
He can do anything without diminishing any of His power or God-ness AND He loves us more than we can comprehend. It should be easy to put faith in Him in everything. But it takes letting go & letting HIM.
Fail Forward, It Is Worth It!
And it doesn’t come naturally. It takes practice. I have to DETERMINE to turn to Him in my mind & heart to hand it over to Him for help. It takes practice.
“I’m sorry, Lord, I’m doing it again… having a conversation in my head & trying to figure things out when You’re right here willing & able to help. Please forgive me. Help give me direction, wisdom, & peace. Help me to better trust You & help me to come to You more immediately next time. Amen.”This is a prayer I have learned to start praying whenever I find myself self-dialogueing versus talking to Him about it in my heart, acknowledging that He is right there all the time.
I need to TRAIN my brain to acknowledge Him & turn to Him in ALL things.
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:6)
Surrender, Surrender, Surrender!
But, & this is probably the biggest hurdle of them all—it takes surrender to talk to Him instead of myself.I have to admit I need help. I have to give up control. I have to let go of the limitations that really are my comfort zones because they allow me to justify not moving forward when I don’t think moving forward feels possible or comfortable or fun in that area.
I have to give up being the main character in my story & admit I am a supporting character in HIS story… HIS-tory.
And not only that, but sometimes quite frankly I feel justified in how I want to think about a situation or circumstance.
Rude interaction? Rude response in my head.
Frustrated about life? I want to figure out how I want it fixed.
Am I willing to have faith? To let Him be GOD in my heart & thoughts?
Am I willing to practice turning my heart to Him in all things? Even when it doesn’t come naturally to me at all?
Am I willing to surrender my way or my feelings for His lead & His way?
That’s what prayer is really. That’s how we can pray without ceasing… because it’s a matter of turning to Him in every natural thought & asking Him to help you exchange it for something that better honors/pleases Him versus yourself.It’s a matter of SURRENDER.
Do You Talk to Yourself More Than to God?
So what is it like for you?Do you talk to yourself more than to God? Or does it come naturally to you to turn every thought to Him as if He is a friend always by your side, everywhere you go, who can read your every thought (because He is that Friend).
Or are you like me & you need to work on it quite a bit?Maybe put more faith in His ability & His care for you. Maybe it’s just a matter of needing to practice it because it doesn’t come naturally to you to acknowledge His ever-presence. Maybe it’s a matter of surrender, where you want a little of the control or feel the need to be in charge of how things turn out or how you think things OUGHT to turn out.
Or maybe, like me, it’s a little bit of all three of those.
Shine HOPE by turning your thoughts to Him in ALL circumstances, recognizing that He is ever-present with you everywhere you go & He cares for you, too—more than ANYONE ever could.He gave Jesus for you, so be careful ever doubting His deep care for you even for one single second. He LOVES you! Amen.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Raffia Earrings (India)
(Shown: Raffia Earrings, handcrafted in India. Every purchase of these earrings empowers women in India out of poverty!)
These stunning Raffia Earrings feature an oval blue glass bead and a circle of raffia fringe with an embroidered seed bead center, hanging from a hand-hammered brass stud. Make a fair-trade fashion statement with these beautiful earrings, handcrafted in a workshop in India committed to fighting child marriage and helping women become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans.
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
Thank You, Lord, for never leaving me… for never giving up on me. Thank You for the family You gave me who took me to church & taught me about Your Son, Jesus. Thank You for the children’s Bible I was given that helped in my curiosity of learning about You & for helping me connect the dots that my bad attitude toward my parents or even my sister was counted as sin in Your eyes & helping me realize I needed saving even at such a young age.
Thank You for not giving up on me when I entered middle school & heard all about differing religious ideas… when I began to doubt You… when I wondered if maybe You weren’t real, I could be living MY way instead of worrying about Your law. Thank You for not just crushing me then in my stubborn self-will to live MY way over Your Good way.
Through My Depression…
Thank You for my spiral of depression for two years in early high school once my doubting & questions & desires to live my way began to numb & empty me of life… thank You for stripping so much from me: my reputation, my good academic standing, many of my friendships, much of my bond with my sisters, my confidence… thank You for the suffering I felt… the emptiness & despair… thank You that it showed me that NO MATTER what I tried to fill it with that wasn’t You just made it all the worse in the end… that I couldn’t fully rely on ANYTHING at ALL times… except for You. Thank You that You took away every crutch or stronghold I was counting on so I could see that YOU were the ONLY One Who could not & would not ever fail.
Thank You for squashing every doubt I had through that pain, showing me that if I had nothing, but I had You… I had EVERYTHING.
In My Growing… & in My Failing…
Thank You that You didn’t stop there. Thank You for continuing to weed things from my life & my behavior & my thought patterns, shaping me to better honor You. Thank You for the confidence You instilled in me through that, beginning to understand that it wasn’t about me being enough, but that You will always be my Enough. Thank You for Your gentle, wise, never-giving-up-on-me pruning.
In My Withouts…
Thank You for teaching me through singleness into my late twenties & then now childlessness that Your plan is always better than mine, no matter how much I think I want something. Thank You that Your timing is always perfect. Thank You that You love me enough to not settle for my less-than timeline &/or plan.
Thank You for the comfortable times of rest. Thank You for the difficult hard times that teach me that YOU can BE my rest. Thank You for when I have plenty, reminding me of Your provision. Thank You for times of little, reminding me that You are my provision.
Thank You for Your peace that when I ask for it fills me even as the world crashes around me. It’s indescribable & impossible peace—& yet, it is. Thank You that You are so much bigger & greater than I can even imagine.And that impossible is never impossible for You.
In My Questions… In My Lacking…
Thank You that You love me enough to let me doubt & wonder & question… that You don’t turn me away,but that as I seek Your wisdom to better trust & live by You, You are a patient & gentle Leader & Father to me. You don’t rush or hurry. You are kind even when I’m rude & impatient & complaining. You are too loving to let me have my way, even if it would be easier to just give in… You lovingly determine only what is best for me. Thank You.
Thank You that I can always come back to You… that even if I give into the blistering disease that is bitterness & stop praying because I am too hurt to have You not answer my way AGAIN—rather than trusting You IN the hard, always only complaining for the end of the hard—You always are quick to forgive, patient, kind, loving, long-suffering… Thank You that You = LOVE.
In All of Creation…
Thank You God, for it all. Thank You for life. Thank You for all of the beautiful & cuddly & awe-inspiring animals You have made in all the diversity of colors, shapes, sizes. Thank You for all the shades of green when passing a highway surrounded by trees & trees. Thank You for the dancing of the wind through the trees & the grass & even my hair. Thank You for all of the beautiful plants & flowers. Thank You for the cool of water & it’s ability to refresh or soothe. Thank You for the sounds of rushing or babbling water. Thank You for the smell of fresh, crisp air & the warmth of sunshine glow. Thank You for hills & valleys & mountains & oceans. Thank You for mountain trails & beach chill. Thank You for Your ever-new paintings in the skies.
Thank You for laughter & dancing & the ability to praise You for all that You are.
For Who You Are…
Thank You for Your kindness. Thank You for Your love & Your grace & mercy & for HOPE. Thank You that I can always count on You… always come to You… always talk to You. Thank You that You are faithful… even if I am not. Thank You that You are kind… even when I am rude. Thank You that You never give up on me. Thank You that You care so much for me even though I don’t deserve it. Thank You that when I fail, You forgive. Thank You that You are KING of ALL & yet have time for me. Thank You for Your vast POWER & authority in both heaven & on earth, but yet Your gentle disposition toward Your rebellious creation. Thank You for Your GRACE.
For Jesus… For Forgiveness… For Your Grace…
Thank You for Jesus. Thank You Jesus for being willing to condescend Yourself from Your throne in Heaven to become a man in flesh, with all of the same human struggles, but living a sinless life so that You could become our once-and-for-all spotless lamb sacrifice to God for our sins. Thank You that no matter WHAT wrong we’ve done, no matter how terrible & undeserving we know we are… that if we confess to You those things & turn from those things to life in You, asking Your forgiveness, that You FORGIVE.
Thank You for new life, for a fresh start, for Your patience & love & pursuit of us no matter how many times we may figuratively spit at Your face. You wait willingly & ever so patiently, not wanting ANY of us to go without Your grace, forgiveness, hope, life, & LOVE. THANK YOU.
Thank You that You don’t make us jump through hoops, “prove” it, do “enough” good, earn it, or anything else… we just have to recognize our need of You… confess our wrongs against You… ask Your forgiveness for those wrongs… & accept You as Savior for our sins against God. THANK YOU.
Thank You, LORD.
Thank You for sending us the Holy Spirit once we have turned our lives to Jesus. That we then ALWAYS have Him as our Guide, a Comforter, a giver of Wisdom, a Companion Who never leaves us nor forsakes us.
Thank You God for all of the things I take for granted every single day: kitty snuggles, hugs, a laugh, a yummy bite of food, the ability to heat or chill food, laundry capability, a dry home, a job, friends, a family who introduced me to You, a husband, Your sacrifice & the blessings You offer me every day. Your peace. Your love. Your never-giving-up-on-me grace. Thank YOU. Thank You. THANK YOU!
Praise be to God, the Maker of Heaven & Earth! AMEN!
Shine HOPE by determining to look for all the reasons you have to PRAISE God for everything big & small, in the good times & the bad.Because no matter what the circumstances or your feelings may be—He is worthy to be praised!Thank You, LORD!
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Lotus Coasters (India)
(Shown: Lotus Coasters, handcrafted by women in India. Every purchase empowers women in India out of poverty.)
Create a beautiful tablescape with nature-inspired decor that empowers families in India out of poverty. This set of four eco-friendly Lotus Coasters are made from sustainable natural mango wood with carved whitewashed accents. Complete your summer look with our Lotus Trivet.
***Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India.***
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
It’s strange. Today is Day 13 since Super Typhoon Mawar hit us here on Guam.
Just the week before, my husband & I made a trip over to Tokyo, Japan for our 11th anniversary. Both of us had fallen in love with the city after many years of visits from our 7 years of living in Japan from 2015-2022.
Many of our anniversaries have been spent in Tokyo, mainly Tokyo Disneyland & Disney Sea. We have our favorite spots & a feeling of comfort having been there so many times. It’s probably not the type of trip a tourist would long for, as our favorite food places are burger spots & street taco-like food versus sushi & ramen… but we could get all that at home & always longed for a taste of home in America… so now they have become our spots.
And aside from me being sick with a cold for most of our trip, we made some special, happy memories.
While we were away there in Japan for the week, I heard a rumor of an upcoming typhoon… but that was nothing new for our island home on Guam… so we didn’t think much of it.
Buckling Down
Returning to Guam, the talk of this typhoon was spreading. Warnings were being issued. Urgent posts were being shared to stock up & bunker up to prepare.
We have been through quite a few typhoons & this was typical. So, we bought a few days’ worth of food, refilled our water jugs for drinking water, charged devices, & made sure we found our flashlights. All the typical preparations.
In bed the night before we were hit, I was drifting to sleep when I felt an urgency in my heart suddenly to fill our bathtub with water. I grumbled through my longing to just slip off to sleep, but when I prayed about it, the urgency pushed all the more, so I got up to fill it up, even though it hadn’t been used because of drain issues… so it wasn’t exactly perfectly clean, but I filled it. Then, I texted my husband who was in his office (because, again, I wanted to just crawl back in bed & sleep) to ask if we should fill the other & he seemed uninterested because every other typhoon never took our water supply.
So, I prayed for protection & peace & I went to sleep.
A Day Like Any Other…
The day of the typhoon felt like any other.I noticed though right after I woke up that our water was off already—maybe precautionary shut off by the water company? We didn’t know.
We knew we may lose power overnight after it all passed, so we lowered all the air conditioner temperatures to help us get through the power outage on remaining coolness.
But other than that, the day was just like any other day off. We watched tv, played video games, enjoyed the AC, heated up food, & just prepared for the loud wind storm to begin like every other typhoon we’d been through.
In the afternoon, it was raining a lot & pretty windy, but nothing scary. And then we lost power but had the daylight to watch the storm outside.
It Felt Like Any Other Typhoon We’ve Been Through… Until It Wasn’t…
Although we had been through many storms like this… this time we didn’t have typhoon shutters on this house. And knowing how any left out lawn furniture or bicycles or anything can be lifted up and tossed, I felt a certain tension wondering if something would break a window at any moment & let the storm inside(as did happen for many friends we know).
The winds started picking up to what we felt must be the worst of it… just like most typhoons how it gets really intense before it passes completely by us. Then we heard updates that the eye was supposed to pass between 6-8pm sometime, meaning “the worst was almost over.”
Except it wasn’t. It was just getting started. The screaming winds & crashing sounds outside & rain just kept on intensifying as the sun crept down & slowly left us in blackness.
I could hear things crashing into the side of our house but couldn’t see a thing inside or outside of our house. But nothing hit any of our windows.
The reports now were saying that the eye kept reforming, prolonging the end of it all.
It was starting to become clear that this was no “regular typhoon.” This was seriously dangerous. It was intense & chaotic & deafening & our back door was bowing from the wind, letting water gush from the sides & the top & through underneath… but in our laundry room, where we had a raised step to the rest of the house & a septic backup drain in the floor.
I Just Wanted It to Stop
I hid in the hallway with a crank fan, a flashlight, & my phone because it was the only place without a window. I just squeezed my eyes shut & kept praying for protection & peace over & over because it was all I could think about for hours.
My day of video games & tv shows & fun snacks had turned into a nightmare in a matter of hours.
Then the new reports came in that the intensity may not end until midnight to 6am the next morning depending on whether the eye keeps reforming.
And, by God’s Grace, We Slept
Through it all, my husband was diligent in mopping all water toward that drain, determined not to let the flooding overtake our home, but calm.
His calmness helped center me like an anchor, God’s peace beginning to help me see that I needed to just trust Him & SLEEP.
So, we let our cat follow us in our room (he is usually not allowed because of my mild allergies) & he didn’t even hesitate as he followed us in & jumped on our bed to settle next to my feet.
And all three of us slept… by God’s grace. We slept.
A Deep Sigh of Relief… of Hope…
And when I woke up the next morning, the winds were still there but noticeably quieter, the rain was still coming down, but more like a normal summer storm… & I could see hopeful rays of sunshine in the next room.
I sighed the deepest sigh of relief as I felt hope & gratefulness begin flood my heart.
My husband had fashioned a funnel with all of our cleaning towels & rags, but the water was still about an inch deep in our laundry room, so I got to work in using our squeegee to push the rest of the water down the drain… but not after checking our windows & seeing that not a single one even had a crack… with all the loud crashing into our house I had heard overnight, nothing hit a window enough to break it. Thank. You. GOD!
And I thought the traumatic experience was over & done.
The Morning Light Shines on the Devastation
Until Jamie & I walked down our street & saw the extent of the wreckage everywhere.
All the lush tropical plants that once painted the sides of the drive up to our house with beautiful, vibrant colors were stripped completely, leaving views of abandoned houses boarded up, rusted large appliances left in yards, etc. All the jungle beauty was gone… just GONE.
And then reports of friends began pouring in. Lost homes due to severe flooding, damaged cars, lost personal items left out, missing pets. The pain everyone was feeling was heavy.
I cried a lot that day just from the weightiness of it all. Seeing so much pain everywhere around me & feeling helpless to do anything about it. It was so hard.
The Sleepless Night after the Storm
But then, the next night came. The remnants of air conditioning coolness was long gone, cold water was running low, & power/running water was out still.
I fell asleep, but woke up in the middle of the night almost feeling like a panic attack was trying tirelessly to rip me apart from the inside.
I was hot, hadn’t showered in a couple days (the night before the storm), felt sticky from the thick, humid air (even with the windows open)… pitch black house with no light even from a digital clock on the oven—I just wanted to see some LIGHT. And no fan—I was so hot & gross & sticky feeling.
I couldn’t go back to sleep. I would lay and stare into the darkness… then just sob over nothing in particular…then beg God—BEG God—for Him to just TURN THE POWER ON.
I felt swallowed up by the darkness—like it was ever closing in on me. I felt harassed & tormented by the sticky humidity discomfort. I felt heavy from all the destruction outside & friends’ homes. I just wanted cold water, fresh air, LIGHT, power on… hope.
Day 3 Since the Storm Began
Jamie got up, said goodbyes, went to work & I spent the day trapped alone in our miserably uncomfortable home, rationing the food we hadn’t bought enough of (handfuls of granola for breakfast, applesauce with peanut butter, almonds, & snacks for lunch… & a main meal once a day of a can of soup or chili).
Gas lines were 2+ hours, so we were trying to use our cars only for Jamie to go to work or for emergencies… but I was losing it. I felt so antsy & restless & endlessly uncomfortable… while also seeing my phone battery life slowly tick away… so I rebelled out of sanity-restoring necessity (mind the fact I had only gotten about 1.5 hours of sleep on top of everything else) & I sat in my car with the chair leaned back, AC blasting, & music playing… while charging my phone—the relief that was was incomparable!
What a reminder of everything I take for granted every single day that I should be praising God for every single day!
It’s Been 13 Days Since It Began
It’s been 13 days since the super typhoon began to hit us.
Our house still doesn’t have power, but God answered my prayer (begging) for rescue in an even better way. He provided a friend who got power & graciously & generously offered her guest room to us. He provided companionship & friendship through the grief, shock, & trauma I would have otherwise had to face alone while Jamie was away at work.
I get to see my cat, Cisco, every 2-3 days when I go to use that tub water to rag bath & bowl wash my hair. He’s doing fine & seems like nothing ever happened… purrs & playtime & temporary snuggles & extra treats.
Our house has full water as of yesterday (it’s been about 60% water pressure for about a week after we had to pay almost $300 post-typhoon for a plumber to fix a small broken pipe outside that was stealing all of the water pressure to inside our house). But what an encouragement that we’re now back to full water pressure!
Still no power for our house. 53.2% has been restored for residential power as of today.
I’m still using that filled bathtub to scoop out bowls of the water so I can wash off & wash my hair every few days (I don’t have the liberty to do my every other day hair wash making it now more like every 3-4 days because although we have water restored, there is a boil water notice because of the runoff from the storm flooding & the purification system still being down/can’t work effectively because of low water pressure island wide & low power). Thank You, God, for that bathtub of water!(1/3 of it remains.)
Healing Takes Time
While better days are becoming less of a rarity, trauma is funny in that it hits you in waves… remembering being huddled on the floor of a crowded hallway with piled boxes & being squished sitting on a small pillow hearing the world crash all around you while you sit in enveloping blackness… remembering the lush beauty outside just GONE… remembering rationing the food because you were no longer sure how long it would need to last… remembering my last sip of cool water before it was gone… remembering the smell of the garbage rotting from thrown out food… the bowl baths with not great water… the sticky hot overwhelming discomfort of the 24 hours+ that followed—desperate for even a drop of cool water on your tongue or a cool wet rag to pat on your neck, or just desperate to see that sun come up because the darkness was just so oppressively enveloping.
The crying, BEGGING God to just turn the power back on when we were still at our house. PLEASE!!!!
It still hits me sometimes. Sometimes something will randomly just trigger it & I feel like I get sucker punched in the gut & I just feel sobs begging to just threaten to swallow me up.
Sometimes the heaviness of it all just makes me want to crawl under the covers & run away from everything.
All the Time, God Is Good… God Is Good, All the Time
But through it all, God has been good to me.
He has held me while the world felt like it was crashing all around me.
He protected our shutterless house.
He confirmed IN OCTOBER a house purchase for us that just seemed like too much work, but we trusted His lead & went with it… & BACK THEN He knew it would be a home to protect us in a storm we didn’t even know was coming.
He lowered the CAT-5 typhoon of 180mph winds to a CAT-4 typhoon of 140mph winds just AS it hit Guam & as soon as it LEFT Guam it went back to a CAT-5.(Thank you ALL for praying for us! Got HEARD you!)
He didn’t give us power, but He sent me to a hospitable friend who did, who has fed us well, & has been a friend of comfort which has helped us all as we walk through the shock & the grief & the trauma. GOD KNEW I NEEDED THIS.
He urged me to fill the bathtub which in every other typhoon was NEVER needed & now I am able to bowl bath & keep a semblance of CLEAN.
He protected us & our home when so many people lost so much.
His Impossible Peace IN the Storms of Life–Even the Literal Ones
He gave me peace in moments when peace seemed like an impossibility.
He has been faithful to take my hand & walk me through moments where I just want to give up because it’s all too much & He has nudged me to just color & turn on worship music & just tune out the thoughts of it all that sometimes threaten to consume me… & to keep my heart set on Him… even if I feel sometimes that I have to FORCE myself to do so.
He has given me moments to laugh.
He has restored power to most of our friends & church family, relieving me from feeling heavy for their hurting.
He consistently has provided a trickle of water to my friend’s house so we could keep filling & pouring pots into our reserve for toilet-flushing.
God is so, so GOOD.
Living through a Super Typhoon
This is not what I would have chosen to go through & don’t ever wish to go through again, but living through a super typhoon has forced upon me the perspective of gratefulness for the small things in life I take for granted so easily.
Thank You, God. Thank You for everything I take for granted. Please forgive me for taking all of that so lightly, complaining about other things while neglecting to remember to still praise You for the rest. Thank You so much for protecting us & my friends & church family. Thank You for helping me even when I am not always handling the trauma well.You are such a gentle, patient, faithful Father. Thank You for providing us our home even when we doubted You. Thank You even that little Cisco cat is okay. Thank You for who You are. Thank You for everything. In Jesus’ holy, worthy name. AMEN.
Shine Hope by determining to praise God, even when it feels like your world is falling apart… God deserves it always & will carry you through the hardest of it all… And praising God will free your heart from letting despair spiral away your joy.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Indra Bracelet (India)
(Shown: Indra Bracelet, handcrafted in India. Every purchase of this bracelet empowers women in India out of poverty!)
This stretch bracelet hand crafted out of dusty blue resin beads and gold-plated beads create a beautiful fair-trade piece to wear alone or stacked with other bracelets. Try stacking this one with the Alabaster Tassel Bracelet, to double the impact.
The Indra Bracelet is handcrafted in a workshop in India that’s committed to fighting child marriage and helping women overcome discrimination to become financially independent.
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
Growing up in middle class America, it’s hard for me to imagine a life any different than having reliable clean water, power, roof over my head, flushing toilets, soft carpets under my feet, warm air in winters & cool air in summers.
It’s easy to take all of those things for granted when you have always had them. You just assume that you always will have them. They become your comfort zone of security without even realizing it at times.
But then you lose air conditioning in your car in the middle of the hottest part of summer & you get a glimpse, just a glimpse, of what life is like for so many others on a day-to-day basis.
How spoiled I am that I don’t think it absolutely necessary to be praising God every moment for these things I so easily take for granted every day,for struggling to come up with something to be grateful for in the midst of the hardships of life–He has allowed me to have so much!
But What About That…?!
I think about the Israelites. They were SLAVES in Egypt & God came in & miraculously & awesomely displayed His glory, strength, & power (& LOVE) to rescue them out of that slavery that they cried out about so desperately for HOPE.
God came. He rescued them MIGHTILY (Exodus 6:6; book of Exodus). AND, He walked with them EVERY step, making His presence KNOWN to them very clearly & unmistakably with a pillar of fire by night & a pillar of cloud by day leading them all the way (Exodus 13:21-22). He supplied food every day. (Exodus 16) He gave them water, sometimes straight out of a rock miraculously if none was readily available where they were in the desert (Exodus 17:1-7; . He even made sure their shoes didn’t wear down & their clothes stayed intact through their seemingly endless trek through desert wilderness (Deuteronomy 29:5).
God PROVIDED.
And what did they do? They dreamed of a “better” life back in Egypt—as SLAVES.
In other words, they focused SO intently on what they DIDN’T have, that they could no longer even see, care about, or appreciate ALL they DID have.
Isn’t that me? God provides SO MUCH & all I can think of is… “but what about THAT?!” Shame on me. Shame on me. It’s so human of me, but it doesn’t make it right.
The Year of Many Withouts
This past year has been the year of many WITHOUTS.
When God asked us to uproot our lives to move back to Guam last summer, it was not an easy act of obedience for me.
Moving back to Guam meant leaving behind the best place/situation we had lived in since moving overseas. It meant being without the comfort of church family that felt truly like family, of the adventure of living in Japan (but with the comforts of an American base nearby), of healing from the hurts of my past 7 years of intense stress & isolation.
Easy pet flights no longer existed to Guam from Japan after covid. We were riding on a technicality, unsure until we arrived in Hawaii whether or not our cat’s transport would even truly be approved once we got there. We were on our way, everything riding on a CHANCE, without any assurances ahead of time to count on.
The Withouts Didn’t Stop
Then we got here & it was a seller’s market for a home & our budget couldn’t compete. We went about 3 months without a home of our own, living out of a suitcase.
Then we switched to a temporary living situation where it was covered in mold & had no hot water. So, we lived without clean air for almost 2 months & had to shower with cold water.
When we finally moved into our house, it was a flip undone, so we lived without internet for a while until the wiring was set up. We lived without an oven for about a month until we could switch the outlet. We lived without being able to wash our clothes at home for months until we could get an electrician to fix things for that to work, too. We lived without ready-to-live-in comfort & were met instead with project upon project.
And Then… A Super Typhoon Hits Us on Wednesday, May 24, 2023
And now, a typhoon has pretty much devastated our island. And we’ve been without power (A/C, lights, refrigerator, washing machine/dryer, oven, ability to charge anything, relief from heat, cool water to refresh, etc.) or running water (flushable toilets (without added water), showers, ability to wash anything, etc.) in our home. We’re without readily accessible gasoline (I waited in line for 2+ hours & now the lines are worse). We’re without a way to even leave the island. We’re without assurances of when life will resume any semblance of normalcy.
All of the lush, beautiful jungle plants are bare or stripped & tossed ways away.
They Had to Rely on God to Provide… And So Do We
And you know what? It is SO EASY to think like the Israelites.
They couldn’t go shop for what they needed because there was nowhere to go out in the wilderness. They had to rely on God to provide.
They couldn’t just go out for some food or water because they were out in the wilderness. They had to rely on God to provide.
They couldn’t protect themselves against the Egyptians who chased them down. They had to rely on God to provide.
They couldn’t rely on comforts because they had so few of them. They had to rely on God to provide.
And it’s uncomfortable. It’s hard. It’s NOT FUN.
But God does provide.
God Doesn’t Always Provide How We Want, But He Knows What We NEED–HIM
God does provide.
Maybe not with giving me the hot water I want… but in teaching me how to work around it or adjust to it. (I, who ONLY hot showered, grew to surprisingly appreciate cold showers through time that because of how refreshing it was—the initial cold jolt is uncomfortable, but then it just feels invigorating & rejuvenating.)
Maybe not in giving me a mold-free home… but in protecting me through it.
Maybe not in providing a ready-to-live-in home… but in teaching me to take stewardship of our home more to heart, seeing the sweat & tears we ourselves put into it over the years & looking back seeing all God helped us accomplish through it.
Maybe not in giving US power & running water, but in giving our friend power instead, using our lack to encourage us to go stay with her, so we could share & encourage each other through a very dark time when we would otherwise be going through the aftermath separately on our own.
God doesn’t always provide how I want Him to. And that’s a good thing.
Every decision He makes, in His all-seeing, all-knowing WISDOM is ALWAYS for our good AND His glory.
ALWAYS.
A False Security Versus Trusting God
I was blown away, after years of hearing sermons about the hardships the Israelites went through, how God led & protected, & all their endless grumbling & complaining… to learn of this little verse: “Yet the Lord says, “During the forty years that I led you through the wilderness, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet.”(Deuteronomy 29:5)
I mean, they never had to worry about how to provide their family with clothes or shoes or food or water because God just PROVIDED for them. But they still grumbled CONSTANTLY. They wanted to feel the “security” of being able to “provide for themselves” aka the ILLUSION that any of it is really from themselves in the first place.
When God allows things to be taken away… He also erases the illusion that ANY of it is of ourselves rather than it all really being from HIM.
When God allows things to be taken away… He also shows you He is MORE THAN SUFFICIENT even in your greatest WITHOUTS.
Trusting God Isn’t Easy, But It Is Always Worth It
It doesn’t mean it will be easy. It doesn’t mean it will be comfortable.
But it does mean He will provide if we trust Him to handle it rather than trying to take over or just plain give up without giving Him the chance.
It may not be in the hot water, but that you HAVE water.
It may not be in the power, but in the friendship connections going without encourages.
It may not be in things working out smoothly, but in seeing that God can make anything happen regardless.
It may not be in the material comforts, but that HE IS OUR COMFORT.
God Had a Plan in a Disaster We Didn’t Even See Coming
Going through this typhoon was hard.It was really, REALLY hard.
God protected us. He led us to this house & confirmed this house for us—despite our not understanding WHY—and because we were trusting HIM over ourselves on where to live… & He knew this typhoon was coming… how bad it would be… & that this house would stand.
God PROTECTED us because we trusted HIS lead in where to live, even when it made no sense to us.
How ungrateful & unwise I am to ever question our GREAT GOD.
Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow!
Thank You, God, for making a way for us to come to Guam WITH CISCO when there seemed to be no way. Thank You for just plowing us through when we couldn’t have any assurances. Thank You for knowing I needed to come back here, to see how you could grow something that hurt me to something that heals me… to let me see how nothing is beyond Your reach to grow & mature. Thank You for a second chance. Thank You that You know what You’re doing & You determine to do it for my good & for Your glory, even when I protest, doubt, & complain…because You love me enough to determine to keep moving me forward to the goodness I don’t see on the other side of it.Thank You that I can trust You even when I’m not sure I know how. Thank You that You always provide for my best, even when it doesn’t always look like it to me in the moment. Thank You for protecting us & our home & Cisco & our friends in this great storm that devastated so much here. Thank You that You heard our cries to You & lessened the winds from CAT-5 180mph to CAT-4 140mph winds just as it passed over Guam & then back to CAT-5 as it left. You PROTECTED us! Thank You! Thank You for reminding me, sometimes even against my will, to PRAISE You in all of this aftermath & the trauma. Sometimes I thought I would go literally crazy in the oppressive heat & I BEGGED for the power to come back on & You didn’t do it… but You brought us to a friend who could share not only in that, but in the reprieve of living through the trauma of uncertainties & destruction in the aftermath with a friend. Thank You that You are so greatly to be praised. Thank You for pushing me to praise You so my heart could let go & fall into Your arms of rest & comfort versus tension & panic. Thank You for reminding me that You got so mad at the Israelites all those years in the wilderness NOT because they kept struggling through all the hardships, but because they complained & grumbled RATHER THAN trusting they could come to You with their struggles & trust You to help them through it. Thank You for reminding me to turn my angst, worry, hurt, stress, etc. to prayer, crying out to You as my help IN IT. Not giving up or giving in to despair, but trusting You can be my supply despite the odds or likelihood because YOU ARE GOD. Thank You. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.
Shine Hope by determining to keep crying out to God in your need, even when no relief seems even possible… & by determining to PRAISE Him even when the world looks like it is falling apart all around you. PRAISE HIM.
God Is Deserving of My Trust!
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)
“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” (Psalm 20:7)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” (Psalm 46:1-3)
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)(“The grass is always greener on the side you’re watering.” -author unknown) There will always be good & there will always be hard… which will you let control your thoughts?
“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His loved endures forever.” (Psalm 118–all of it is so good!)
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
“Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, Who gave Himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to Whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” (Galatians 1:3-5)
Last Note on Trauma…
Living through one of Guam’s top 2 worst typhoons, despite our house surviving, really left me shell-shocked. If I am at my house & the sun is going down & I can’t find my phone, I actually feel real panic because it’s sometimes my only light source because my house has gone 6 days without power now & it’s also my only connection to family & friends when the world goes dark at night. When my battery gets low, I feel a strong need to search a power source soon. When it gets hot & humid, I get flashbacks to feeling trapped in our oven of a house with no relief because no cool water to drink or breeze or shower or anything. When my gas ticks lower, I remember that 2+ hour line & feel desperate to conserve or refill.
It is strange how much a natural disaster kicks in your fight or flight survival instincts even when things are getting safer again. It’s trauma. It logically doesn’t make any sense & yet it is.
Be patient & gracious & prayerful with people who have gone through a natural disaster. It’s no joke. Some moments I feel rays of hope shining in me & the next moment I am choking down a sob or fear just smacks me in the face because of a memory or a trigger from the actual storm or thinking about the devastating aftermath that hits me out of nowhere.
Even if they’re technically “okay” again, they may not be okay… & that is okay. Give them space to feel safe again & for the trauma to heal. Consider how economic crashes where food rations were very real then cause whole generations to be strict about not throwing out food EVER. It takes a toll on you going through something devastating like that & that’s just how it is sometimes.
Give space for healing & give grace—even if it doesn’t make any sense to you because you know they’re okay NOW—it may not make sense to them either & yet it is. Give grace & pray for healing.
It’s okay to not be okay. Cry out to God as your help & determine to praise Him no matter what.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Block Print Tote (India)
(Shown: Block Print Tote, handmade in India. Every purchase empowers women out of poverty in India!)
This artisanal Block Print Tote from India is a true work of art! Using a traditional Artisanal process where blocks are carved into intricate designs, they stamped the block with pigment before applying to the fabric like a stamp. This tote features a block-printed flower, a Chrysanthemum, and is oversized, making it perfect for trips to the grocery store or local markets.
***Every purchase helps a mom in India send her children to school.***
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
I don’t know about you, but when I have always read these verses, I would get a little quicker past a few verses like the ones I shared above.
I know I don’t measure up to that standard. I know I am nowhere NEAR being holy apart from the righteousness accounted to me through JESUS.
So, reading verses like that just seems like “lalala, I can’t HEAR you!”because the impossibility of it mixed with the directness of it made me uncomfortable.
That doesn’t mean I discount them or think they’re not entirely important–because God says it, but I never really considered the fact that IF GOD SAYS IT… it MUST be possible.
Nothing So Obviously Rebellious
But, if I am really, truly honest with myself, I can tell that there are certain sins that I’m okay with—& that’s not okay.
Now, I don’t mean that in the way of picking & choosing certain ones of the Ten Commandments given by God to Moses (Deuteronomy 5:1-21) & saying, “I think THIS ONE is okay… oh, & THIS ONE, too!” Nothing so obviously rebellious.
It’s more that if I consider the command to by HOLY & that WHATEVER I do, ALL should be for God’s glory… weeelllll…. I don’t always 100% live like that–& I should, because God says to.
I mean, most things, sure… I try to anyway… but how often do I stop comparing what I’m okay with… with what GOD says He’s okay with… versus with other people in my life?
Do I let HIM set the gauge on ALL things? Or my church? Or my parents? Or a Christian author? Or my peers?
Who determines for me what God is okay with in my life?
Do I Excuse Things That Promote Sin?
Here’s a BIG example for me that up until my self-imposed “rehab” from reliance on coping mechanisms versus trusting that God’s peace really can be sufficient & I don’t have to be trapped any longer by the “OR ELSE” that comes with maintaining my coping mechanisms for my depression… I can really be free from them & trust God in their place… but that is a rabbit hole from my point…
In my “rehab,” I have not allowed myself to watch any tv (read: binge watch, because once my symptoms hit, I have grown to have zero self-control anymore when it comes to tv-watching once I start as I try to drown out the symptoms). And in this giving up of television… amongst other things… I have found it has become much easier to live in a way that honors God—including & especially my thought life!
Why? I think it’s because although I try not to watch “trashy” television, a lot of it still portrays sin & that sin influences me even in subtle ways I would have never owned up to or even recognized previously because I grew up watching tv & it’s always been considered completely, absolutely acceptable—as long as I am not indulging in “filth” that PROMOTES & openly DISPLAYS sin.
But unless my prayer life & Bible study time outweighs the time I spend influenced by tv, guess which one is most likely going to have the stronger, albeit subtler, influence over me?(Galatians 6:8)
How Do You Think It Makes God Feel?
If I am engaging in something where sin is taken lightly,(aka something that God hates & considers worthy of needing to send Jesus to DIE for us because otherwise the punishment is eternal wretched torment in HELL (Romans 6:23; Isaiah 53:5-6; John 3:16-17)… does it honor Him if I engage in enjoying it?
Imagine your friend confides in you that someone called her fat & laughed at her & it just caught her off guard & deeply cut her & hurt her & she confides in you saying how much it hurts her… then you sit down with her & choose to watch a show where one character or another makes fun of someone’s weight & a laugh track plays… how do you think your friend is going to feel about that being the butt of the joke?
How do you think God feels when He sees you watching or engaging in something that makes light of something He says hurts Him? Namely, SIN? Do you think that honors Him? Pleases Him? Or hurts His heart? How do you think it makes God feel?
If a particular sin is treated dismissively, like no big deal… or promoted or praised, when God says it is worthy of DEATH & eternal punishment in Hell… where Jesus had to DIE because of it… do you think it honors Him to engage in it or excuse it or watch it? Do you think it pleases Him?
How do you think it makes God feel?
Is This Legalism?
This is where my conviction creeps in, because I recognize how much of a surprising change it’s been in me just these last 2.5 ish months just from not watching tv… & now I am realizing that what I have justified–because it’s widely accepted… may not be what’s best for me because I can’t say with full confidence that it doesn’t hurt or dishonor or displease God.
“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify [build up].” (1 Corinthians 10:23, brackets added)
It’s not a matter of legalism. I can’t be saved by being “good” (Ephesians 2:8-9) & any amount of “good” in me is counted as dirty rags to God (Isaiah 64:6)… it’s ONLY by/through JESUS. Only.(John 14:6)
BUT, it IS a matter of whether I really care about giving God the GLORY in WHATEVER I do…. It IS a matter of whether I will CHOOSE to strive to honor & please God with every choice I make (aka striving to live HOLY & pleasing to GOD).
Where Do I Draw the Line?
What’s more important to me? Salvation with a side of living however I see fit as long as it’s not “TOO” offensive/dishonoring to God?
Where’s my line that I’m willing to draw there?
Where am I willing to hurt Him “just a little”?
Do I care about being HOLY? Or just “good enough”?
Do I justify things because I REALLY LIKE IT & IT’S “NOT THAT BAD”?
What are we okay with watching that makes light of any of that sin because our church always allowed those movies/shows because they weren’t openly engaging in it or promoting it… maybe so our parents were okay with it, our peers encourage it, the world accepts it…?
Have we bothered to ask God what HE is okay with in any of it?
I’m a Sinner… I’m Still Learning to Surrender More to Him for His Glory over My Entertainment
I am not saying all of this because I have it all figured out & always make the right decision or even always know what the right decision is.
I am not here to make the call on where that line ought to be for you.
God says to be 100% convinced in your OWN heart before God… (Romans 14:5) & that if we’re not, & we choose to do it anyway… to US (not necessarily to everyone) it IS sin. (Romans 14:23)
Are you 100% convinced in your heart before God?
The Sins We’re Okay With
The sins we’re okay with… would you say there’s anything you’re okay engaging in that downplays, glorifies, or makes light of anything God hates? Where is the line for you on what you’re okay disappointing, displeasing, or hurting God?
Is there ANY doubt that you’re burying in justifications even though you know very well or even just have the slight inkling idea that maybe God is NOT okay with it?
What sins are you okay with if “to YOU (because of doubt) they are sin”?
SHINE HOPE by being willing to lay down a prayer of surrender whenever God nudges your heart about something, saying, “God, LORD, if there is ANYTHING I do that dishonors or displeases you in the SLIGHTEST, help me to NOT be okay with it anymore. WEED IT OUT of my life! I want my life to strive for holiness AKA a life that seeks to honor & please You with everything I choose. In Jesus’ HOLY name, Amen.”
Amen.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
(Explorer Gift Set: India, Haiti, & Guatemala)
(Shown: Explorer Gift Set, handcrafted in India, Haiti, & Guatemala. Every purchase empowers women in these areas out of poverty!)
Looking for a thoughtful, unique gift? Send him an ethically made gift that makes the world a better place! This Explorer Gift Set empowers families out of poverty with the genuine leather Explorer Wallet from India, a hand-stitched card from Haiti, and packaged in a traditional fabric pouch handwoven in Guatemala. The Explorer Set is perfectly packaged to give to the influential man in your life for Father’s Day, Graduation gifts, or a spring birthday!
*****Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for families in areas of extreme poverty in India, Haiti, and Guatemala.*****
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
Are you influencing the world or is the world influencing you? This question was posed at church on Sunday & it really stuck with me.
We have so much potential to live out the grace of God to the world around us, do you realize that? Do I?
Oh, I know our neighbors & our co-workers & extended family seem “just fine,” but imagine having to carry the weight & burden & shame of your choices, second-guessing yourself maybe or trying to stuff those feelings deep down so you can carry on, always stretching toward an ever-fleeting peace or hope or happiness—because you don’t have any true, lasting, solid HOPE.
You have the potential, as an ambassador for God, dear Christians, to live as a physical representation of His grace & hope & peace in the world going on around you every day.Do you realize that?
It’s easy for me to want to answer that question with a quick, “duh, of course,” because it really IS my desire… but when I take a moment to honestly examine my thoughts, my attitude, my day-to-day choices, & my focus—oftentimes, it doesn’t really look like I do realize that after all.
Just Livin’ Life
I go about my life like most people. I get up, usually grumpy at my alarm clock, tired, & dragging my feet to the bathroom to start getting ready for my day.
Then, I say a quick “I love you” to my husband (& my cat) & head to work.
I do my job, barely looking up from my piles of papers to check, except to walk kids to their daily specials… then go to lunch… go home for a quick, often unappreciated kitty snuggle (deep down, I know he loves me… but his snuggle limit typically lasts about 4 minutes)… then get to my chores & “learning corner” of hobbies (ASL, Spanish, & piano).
Time to get dinner ready, greet my hubs, eat, hang out, then get ready for bed & TRY to sleep (I’m not always good at sleeping).
Just going about my day. All that routine… all that stuff to do… but I barely ever really stop to think, “am I representing the grace of Jesus to the people I pass at work? To people I see when I run my errands? To anyone really?”
I just seem to day-in & day-out DO what I need to DO that day & then start again the next day.
Without His CONSTANT Influence & Guidance…
Do you go with the flow, letting the world shape your mind, your attitude about stuff going on in the world, or even your routines/habits?Or do you intentionally seek to lay everything down every moment with a silent prayer of, “Lord, I know my gut response is _____, but what honors & pleases You in this? Help me do that. Give me wisdom & give me strength to do that. Nothing else. Help me live every moment for You & Your glory somehow. Show me how. AMEN.”
I think that’s why God instructs us in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to “pray without ceasing.” That’s that WHOLE verse right there. PRAY WITHOUT CEASING.
He knows full well how easy it is to just hop right into our routine without a second thought.
I need to remember to better learn this habit of “pray WITHOUT CEASING…”every thought, every routine, every habit, every task, every interaction, ALL OF IT bowed to Him… offered to Him as an opportunity to be an INTENTIONAL influence for HOPE in the world around me every day… every moment.
Just Don’t Let Them Get in the Way of GOD
Habits & routines aren’t bad. They help us function more effectively & efficiently… but the danger in them is that I can get so used to them & so comfortable in them that I barely ever look up… I barely ever consider, “what if God wants to change my route today? What if God wants me to interact with someone specific today for a loving word of Truth or a smile or an encouraging word… & it takes me off my scheduled/routined path?” What if?
Will I be willing to let God interrupt my routine/habits to better be an influence of grace to someone He puts in my path or will I be too sidetracked with my own routine?
Will I be willing to say, “God, interrupt my day if it’s Your desire. Show me PEOPLE & HEARTS in need of You today. Give me Your eyes. Give me Your wisdom. Give me Your LOVE for PEOPLE. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”
Are our tasks important? Sure. Are they AS important as God’s assignment for your any given day? NOPE, not even CLOSE.
God Knows… He KNOWS
Maybe it’s tempting to think: “But, I have RESPONSIBILITIES! GOD KNOWS THAT!”
Yes, He does know that. So, guess what… if He chooses to interrupt your plans, HE HAS A PLAN for THAT, too!
Oh, how easy it is for me to trust MY plan & my view of the day & what I think is just SO important.
Oh, how easy it is for me to look to OTHERS to tell me what is of utmost importance. A boss maybe? Should I listen to them? Of course? Should I let them trump God’s lead? NOPE, never. God has a plan for THAT, too.
Oh, how I tend put God’s lead LAST.
As if He doesn’t know it’s important.
As if He doesn’t know my responsibilities need doing.
As if He doesn’t know I have commitments to keep.
As if He doesn’t know.
Am I Willing to Trust Him Above MYSELF? Am I?
Am I willing to trust that He knows what’s needed… what’s expected of me? That He’ll cover that & lead me in the HOW?
Am I willing to think maybe, just maybe He knows better & more than ME?
Am I willing to LET HIM interrupt ME?
Am I willing to let Him use me to be an influence of His grace to the world around me?
Am I willing to pray WITHOUT ceasing, bowing EVERY interaction & thought & activity & routine & habit & task to HIM for HIS will over MY plans?
Are You Influencing the World or Is the World Influencing You? ALL for God’s Glory
Are you influencing the world? Or is the world influencing YOU?
“So, whether you eat or drink, or what ever you do… do it ALL FOR the GLORY of GOD.” (1 Corinthians 10:31, emphasis added)
Shine HOPE. Be intentional. Be surrendered.Be willing to be interrupted. Be willing to let God take the lead of your every thought, task, or habit. Be willing to be an influence for HIS GRACE to the world around you everywhere you turn.
“God, I want to be this way for You! I really do! But I am so quick to my routines. Please teach me to pray WITHOUT ceasing, making my every passing thought a prayer to You to lead me, to interrupt me, to use me for Your grace & glory. Take me by the hand. Make this thinking my true over-arching-all habit. Use me to influence this lost world with Your Mountain-Moving GRACE. In Jesus’ all-powerful, unconditionally loving, gave-everything-for-us name, amen.”
AMEN.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Agate Key Bracelet (Dominican Republic)
(Shown: Agate Key Bracelet, hand-crafted in the Dominican Republic. Every purchase empowers women in the DR out of poverty!)
The varying shades of genuine blue lace agate stone make every Agate Key Bracelet from the Dominican Republic entirely unique. Each stretch-to-fit bracelet features a gold-tone accent bead and a delicate gold key charm.
***Every purchase of this bracelet supports a safe house in the Dominican Republic that provides housing, education, legal services, and trauma counseling for survivors of human trafficking.***
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
I don’t want to write today. My hip is hurting & no matter which chair I try–nothing feels good sitting down.
I’m also feeling a complete mind blank. I keep trying to start typing & then my mind just goes NOPE.
Plus, the numbing & physical ANGST I am experiencing from not immediately just running to addictive coping mechanisms is a STRUGGLE. No one ever said re-routing to better help would be easy, but I know it will be 100% worth it to find my rest in Him versus a constant marathon of trying to outrun my depression symptoms for the rest of my life.
And every morning lately is a struggle. I think I’m just not sleeping soundly, or not getting enough sleep. And while I AM sleeping lately (thank You, God, for SLEEP!), I still feel like I wake up every morning groggy & squeezing my eyes shut in an “ALREADY?!” type of frustrated, defeated cry from my heart, wishing my alarm clock was lying & I still had a couple hours left to squeeze out more sleep.
The Good, the Bad, & the UGLY
And right now, lounging on the couch, trying very uncomfortably to type this way(cue aching wrists soon) because my hip hurts ANY way I sit down… well, I just want to sigh & say, “Well, I tried” & close my computer screen & be DONE.
Why write today?What’s the point?How can I encourage & build up anyone up with this kind of attitude? And pain? When I care more about quitting?
And I get it. You may be thinking, “off days happen, Michelle. Cut yourself some slack, we understand.” And if you thought that, I THANK you for having that kind of grace.
But God has made it clear when I started this blog journey that He desired for me to show up on the good AND off days.
Consistent But NOT Fake? How?
You know what one of my delay reasons was before I launched my website? I didn’t want to be fake. And if I wasn’t going to be fake, how could I be consistent? The two seemed to contradict each other.
It’s sort of like working in customer service when you do anything ministry related. You feel this PRESSURE to always be ON for everyone… & if not, to fake it… to plaster on a big smile & say, “everything is great!” even on days when you feel anything but.
Part of it is pride &/or fear: “they may question my faith if I don’t show up with a smile & a ready answer to okay away my struggle.”
Part of it is maybe pressure to represent God well: “I don’t want them to think God isn’t enough!”
Be ready with a smile. Always. No matter what. That’s the feeling sometimes.
Pastors & their wives no doubt often get this pressure more than most anyone else.Pray for them & be kind & supportive where you can! It can be lonely (I have many friends who are pastors/pastor’s wives).
As Always, Pray
So, if God impresses upon me to be consistent, but also be authentic… the two seemed to clash significantly. How can I do both well? Lord knows my attitude isn’t always great… that I have to surrender my mornings an embarrassing amount of times in order to even BEGIN to feel ready to honor Him versus begrudging my entire day simply for keeping me away from more sleep.
And so, I literally began asking Him that very question as He was leading my heart about this website launch over 5 years ago. “God, I get it… I feel like You want me to do this. But how? You know my awful attitude some days. My depression symptoms? My fleshly pull to do what I want more some days? How in the world can I do this blog, be consistent, AND not become this smiley, always “ON” fake? That alone would depress me, feeling like I have to be a fake to everyone in order to keep it up EACH week. But if I’m real, some days I just don’t care or don’t feel like it AT ALL. How do I have both??? No, I wouldn’t make it. I would have to quit because it would be too much pressure… no one can be “on” 24/7 & not begin to struggle internally A LOT. What do You want from me? How do I do it? Please show me.”
It’s Not About Me Anyway!
His answer quite frankly caught me off guard. That it’s not about me showing up & proving I have it all together because “Christians are a step above the rest” (we’re not… we’re just human like everyone else) “because we have Jesus” (as if that means we never make mistakes or choose wrongly… it doesn’t).
No.
That it’s about showing up, no matter what state my heart is in that day, even if I’m a wretched, self-absorbed, self-centered grump… or even if I’m a weak, vulnerable, “falling apart at the seams” blob… to point to HIM in it ALL as MY HOPE.
To echo: “I am NOT PERFECT, but HE IS!”
To echo: “I SIN, but HE DOES NOT!”
To echo: “I am HUMAN, but HE IS GOD!”
To echo: “I am WEAK, but HE IS STRONG!”
To echo: “I am NOT worthy of praise or attention or glory, but HE IS WORTHY!”
Basically… it’s not about me anyway!
He Compels Me… He Leads Me… & He Works through Me WHEN I am WILLING to Submit My Insufficiencies & Failures for His All-Sufficiency & GLORY!
And so, even on UGLY days, when I would really rather just quit… Or hide my weakling self… Or cover up my less-than-attractive qualities… I will shout them from the rooftops. I will be real about it. I will show up even on my worst days when all I honestly want to do is complain & quit… & I will forever point to HIM as my only HOPE… as YOUR only hope.
That I NEED Him… EVERY day!
Guys, I am not deserving of any praise from you. Do you know how often I want to choose ME?
But, GOD.
He compels me. He leads me. He is sufficient for me.
And He is for you, too.
Despite & through Your Faults… NEVER to Excuse Them
I’m not saying all of this to be like, “Be YOU,” as if to excuse your bad attitudes or mine… those need to be repented of, to ask forgiveness of God for them… surrendered to Him.
But that even in your not great moments when you make the WRONG choice… sometimes ON PURPOSE… that you take ownership of that mistake, repent of it, & don’t hide it as if that somehow makes God look “better.”
No, show the world. Show the world your very real NEED of Him… of His daily GRACE.
Show the world that you’re not strong, that you choose wrongly sometimes… but that His grace is there to greet you the MOMENT you come to Him in humble repentance.
Show the world that you are NOT enough… but that HE IS.
Be real. Be honest. Be a display that no matter how WRETCHED we are found to be in our sin… no matter how WEAK we are in our flesh… GOD IS STRONG… GOD IS GRACE… GOD IS LOVE!
Don’t wait until you’re perfect to serve Him & to seek His glory. Because you never will be. You’re not Jesus.
Shine for Him on the Ugly Days, Too
Shine for Him on the ugly days, too. Bow the imperfections & bad attitudes to Him & ask Him to help you see how YOU can give Him glory JUST WHERE YOU ARE.
Because, to be honest… the reason we exist… is to GIVE GOD GLORY.
So, do that. Right where you are…even when you’re FAR less than perfect… like me today.
Shine HOPE by letting Him have your ALL—Even the bad parts.And by using those bad parts as opportunities to shine God’s GRACE, POWER, & LOVE to a world that needs Him so desperately much!
Shine HOPE.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
“Walter” the Bunny (Vietnam)
(Shown: Walter the Bunny, hand-crocheted by women in Vietnam. Every purchase empowers women in Vietnam out of poverty! Also, see his “best friend” Mabel!)
LIMITED EDITION – while supplies last! Cuddly, soft, and lovable, Walter the Bunny is charming, mini, fair-trade fun with his handsome blue bowtie and carrot accessory. Each bunny comes with an adorable carrot that is not attached to the bunny making it perfect for creative play! Artisans in Vietnam hand crochet each bunny with soft cotton-blend yarn and neutral gray, black, and blue colors that make this stuffed animal the perfect gift for any occasion or decor. Each huggable bunny is hand stuffed by visually impaired women in areas of extreme poverty.
Have you met Walter’s best friend, Mabel the Bunny? They make quite the pair! Every purchase of Walter or Mabel the Bunny provides fair-trade jobs for local women and villagers who are overcoming disabilities, homelessness, and extreme poverty in Vietnam.
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
