Are you someone like me who has inner dialogue with yourself all the time?
I mull over things. I stress trying to come up with answers. I worry, wondering how something could work out if I don’t come up with answers. I think over every angle & how I can fix something when nothing seems to be going right.
I rehash uncomfortable or hurtful conversations, trying to figure out where I went wrong or why the other person said what they said or how I could have handled it any better.
I get frustrated when inconvenienced or when I’m the victim of outright rude behavior & then I go through all of my could have, would have, should haves, knowing the moment has already passed. I get annoyed & inwardly fume at whatever they did that was hurtful to me.
I daydream. I create whole worlds in my head that I can escape to when I don’t have a good book on hand. It’s how I soothe when bored or restless.
I try to soothe myself or justify my reaction in my head or talk myself out of or through whatever I am feeling.
I sit in guilt when I mess up. I mull over it & stress about it & kick myself, beating myself up when I make a wrong choice with my attitude or behavior or reaction for the millionth time that day.
And in all of those things, I ought to be talking to God about it instead.
Turn My Thoughts to Prayers
That’s a hard thing for me to come to terms with. I mean, I know God is always listening—He always hears me—& I know we’re supposed to “pray without ceasing,” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)but I guess it just comes so naturally to just think it over in my head versus acknowledging His presence is with me in every situation.
It’s much easier to do all of the above & then talk to family or friends about it than to remember, “Oh yeah, God… You’re right there, aren’t You? You saw that. You heard that. You know how to & can help me… so let me bring it to You.”
But it’s more than that, isn’t it? Because somehow I want to feel capable or feel I ought to be able to figure it out as a grown up adult. I guess because turning to Him instead takes faith & it takes practice & surrender.It takes letting go of control & giving it to Him instead.
Have Faith in the GOD Who Loves You!
Going to God instead of handling it myself takes faith because I have to take a step back to recognize He is GOD—& I am not. He literally knows EVERYTHING. He SEES everything. He HEARS everything—even thoughts. He also has perfect wisdom & cares about me.
He cares about me. There’s another place of needed faith…. That He cares enough to step into my little (or big) issue & help me. That He is never too busy because He is infinite. That He can’t be diminished, no matter how great or little my need. That whatever seems “just the way it is” to me is never impossible to change for Him… & that whatever change He determines is needed… is for my actual good.
He can do anything without diminishing any of His power or God-ness AND He loves us more than we can comprehend. It should be easy to put faith in Him in everything. But it takes letting go & letting HIM.
Fail Forward, It Is Worth It!
And it doesn’t come naturally. It takes practice. I have to DETERMINE to turn to Him in my mind & heart to hand it over to Him for help. It takes practice.
“I’m sorry, Lord, I’m doing it again… having a conversation in my head & trying to figure things out when You’re right here willing & able to help. Please forgive me. Help give me direction, wisdom, & peace. Help me to better trust You & help me to come to You more immediately next time. Amen.”This is a prayer I have learned to start praying whenever I find myself self-dialogueing versus talking to Him about it in my heart, acknowledging that He is right there all the time.
I need to TRAIN my brain to acknowledge Him & turn to Him in ALL things.
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:6)
Surrender, Surrender, Surrender!
But, & this is probably the biggest hurdle of them all—it takes surrender to talk to Him instead of myself.I have to admit I need help. I have to give up control. I have to let go of the limitations that really are my comfort zones because they allow me to justify not moving forward when I don’t think moving forward feels possible or comfortable or fun in that area.
I have to give up being the main character in my story & admit I am a supporting character in HIS story… HIS-tory.
And not only that, but sometimes quite frankly I feel justified in how I want to think about a situation or circumstance.
Rude interaction? Rude response in my head.
Frustrated about life? I want to figure out how I want it fixed.
Am I willing to have faith? To let Him be GOD in my heart & thoughts?
Am I willing to practice turning my heart to Him in all things? Even when it doesn’t come naturally to me at all?
Am I willing to surrender my way or my feelings for His lead & His way?
That’s what prayer is really. That’s how we can pray without ceasing… because it’s a matter of turning to Him in every natural thought & asking Him to help you exchange it for something that better honors/pleases Him versus yourself.It’s a matter of SURRENDER.
Do You Talk to Yourself More Than to God?
So what is it like for you?Do you talk to yourself more than to God? Or does it come naturally to you to turn every thought to Him as if He is a friend always by your side, everywhere you go, who can read your every thought (because He is that Friend).
Or are you like me & you need to work on it quite a bit?Maybe put more faith in His ability & His care for you. Maybe it’s just a matter of needing to practice it because it doesn’t come naturally to you to acknowledge His ever-presence. Maybe it’s a matter of surrender, where you want a little of the control or feel the need to be in charge of how things turn out or how you think things OUGHT to turn out.
Or maybe, like me, it’s a little bit of all three of those.
Shine HOPE by turning your thoughts to Him in ALL circumstances, recognizing that He is ever-present with you everywhere you go & He cares for you, too—more than ANYONE ever could.He gave Jesus for you, so be careful ever doubting His deep care for you even for one single second. He LOVES you! Amen.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Raffia Earrings (India)
These stunning Raffia Earrings feature an oval blue glass bead and a circle of raffia fringe with an embroidered seed bead center, hanging from a hand-hammered brass stud. Make a fair-trade fashion statement with these beautiful earrings, handcrafted in a workshop in India committed to fighting child marriage and helping women become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans.
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
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Thank You, Lord, for never leaving me… for never giving up on me. Thank You for the family You gave me who took me to church & taught me about Your Son, Jesus. Thank You for the children’s Bible I was given that helped in my curiosity of learning about You & for helping me connect the dots that my bad attitude toward my parents or even my sister was counted as sin in Your eyes & helping me realize I needed saving even at such a young age.
Thank You for not giving up on me when I entered middle school & heard all about differing religious ideas… when I began to doubt You… when I wondered if maybe You weren’t real, I could be living MY way instead of worrying about Your law. Thank You for not just crushing me then in my stubborn self-will to live MY way over Your Good way.
Through My Depression…
Thank You for my spiral of depression for two years in early high school once my doubting & questions & desires to live my way began to numb & empty me of life… thank You for stripping so much from me: my reputation, my good academic standing, many of my friendships, much of my bond with my sisters, my confidence… thank You for the suffering I felt… the emptiness & despair… thank You that it showed me that NO MATTER what I tried to fill it with that wasn’t You just made it all the worse in the end… that I couldn’t fully rely on ANYTHING at ALL times… except for You. Thank You that You took away every crutch or stronghold I was counting on so I could see that YOU were the ONLY One Who could not & would not ever fail.
Thank You for squashing every doubt I had through that pain, showing me that if I had nothing, but I had You… I had EVERYTHING.
In My Growing… & in My Failing…
Thank You that You didn’t stop there. Thank You for continuing to weed things from my life & my behavior & my thought patterns, shaping me to better honor You. Thank You for the confidence You instilled in me through that, beginning to understand that it wasn’t about me being enough, but that You will always be my Enough. Thank You for Your gentle, wise, never-giving-up-on-me pruning.
In My Withouts…
Thank You for teaching me through singleness into my late twenties & then now childlessness that Your plan is always better than mine, no matter how much I think I want something. Thank You that Your timing is always perfect. Thank You that You love me enough to not settle for my less-than timeline &/or plan.
Thank You for the comfortable times of rest. Thank You for the difficult hard times that teach me that YOU can BE my rest. Thank You for when I have plenty, reminding me of Your provision. Thank You for times of little, reminding me that You are my provision.
Thank You for Your peace that when I ask for it fills me even as the world crashes around me. It’s indescribable & impossible peace—& yet, it is. Thank You that You are so much bigger & greater than I can even imagine.And that impossible is never impossible for You.
In My Questions… In My Lacking…
Thank You that You love me enough to let me doubt & wonder & question… that You don’t turn me away,but that as I seek Your wisdom to better trust & live by You, You are a patient & gentle Leader & Father to me. You don’t rush or hurry. You are kind even when I’m rude & impatient & complaining. You are too loving to let me have my way, even if it would be easier to just give in… You lovingly determine only what is best for me. Thank You.
Thank You that I can always come back to You… that even if I give into the blistering disease that is bitterness & stop praying because I am too hurt to have You not answer my way AGAIN—rather than trusting You IN the hard, always only complaining for the end of the hard—You always are quick to forgive, patient, kind, loving, long-suffering… Thank You that You = LOVE.
In All of Creation…
Thank You God, for it all. Thank You for life. Thank You for all of the beautiful & cuddly & awe-inspiring animals You have made in all the diversity of colors, shapes, sizes. Thank You for all the shades of green when passing a highway surrounded by trees & trees. Thank You for the dancing of the wind through the trees & the grass & even my hair. Thank You for all of the beautiful plants & flowers. Thank You for the cool of water & it’s ability to refresh or soothe. Thank You for the sounds of rushing or babbling water. Thank You for the smell of fresh, crisp air & the warmth of sunshine glow. Thank You for hills & valleys & mountains & oceans. Thank You for mountain trails & beach chill. Thank You for Your ever-new paintings in the skies.
Thank You for laughter & dancing & the ability to praise You for all that You are.
For Who You Are…
Thank You for Your kindness. Thank You for Your love & Your grace & mercy & for HOPE. Thank You that I can always count on You… always come to You… always talk to You. Thank You that You are faithful… even if I am not. Thank You that You are kind… even when I am rude. Thank You that You never give up on me. Thank You that You care so much for me even though I don’t deserve it. Thank You that when I fail, You forgive. Thank You that You are KING of ALL & yet have time for me. Thank You for Your vast POWER & authority in both heaven & on earth, but yet Your gentle disposition toward Your rebellious creation. Thank You for Your GRACE.
For Jesus… For Forgiveness… For Your Grace…
Thank You for Jesus. Thank You Jesus for being willing to condescend Yourself from Your throne in Heaven to become a man in flesh, with all of the same human struggles, but living a sinless life so that You could become our once-and-for-all spotless lamb sacrifice to God for our sins. Thank You that no matter WHAT wrong we’ve done, no matter how terrible & undeserving we know we are… that if we confess to You those things & turn from those things to life in You, asking Your forgiveness, that You FORGIVE.
Thank You for new life, for a fresh start, for Your patience & love & pursuit of us no matter how many times we may figuratively spit at Your face. You wait willingly & ever so patiently, not wanting ANY of us to go without Your grace, forgiveness, hope, life, & LOVE. THANK YOU.
Thank You that You don’t make us jump through hoops, “prove” it, do “enough” good, earn it, or anything else… we just have to recognize our need of You… confess our wrongs against You… ask Your forgiveness for those wrongs… & accept You as Savior for our sins against God. THANK YOU.
Thank You, LORD.
Thank You for sending us the Holy Spirit once we have turned our lives to Jesus. That we then ALWAYS have Him as our Guide, a Comforter, a giver of Wisdom, a Companion Who never leaves us nor forsakes us.
Thank You God for all of the things I take for granted every single day: kitty snuggles, hugs, a laugh, a yummy bite of food, the ability to heat or chill food, laundry capability, a dry home, a job, friends, a family who introduced me to You, a husband, Your sacrifice & the blessings You offer me every day. Your peace. Your love. Your never-giving-up-on-me grace. Thank YOU. Thank You. THANK YOU!
Praise be to God, the Maker of Heaven & Earth! AMEN!
Shine HOPE by determining to look for all the reasons you have to PRAISE God for everything big & small, in the good times & the bad.Because no matter what the circumstances or your feelings may be—He is worthy to be praised!Thank You, LORD!
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Lotus Coasters (India)
Create a beautiful tablescape with nature-inspired decor that empowers families in India out of poverty. This set of four eco-friendly Lotus Coasters are made from sustainable natural mango wood with carved whitewashed accents. Complete your summer look with our Lotus Trivet.
***Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India.***
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
It’s strange. Today is Day 13 since Super Typhoon Mawar hit us here on Guam.
Just the week before, my husband & I made a trip over to Tokyo, Japan for our 11th anniversary. Both of us had fallen in love with the city after many years of visits from our 7 years of living in Japan from 2015-2022.
Many of our anniversaries have been spent in Tokyo, mainly Tokyo Disneyland & Disney Sea. We have our favorite spots & a feeling of comfort having been there so many times. It’s probably not the type of trip a tourist would long for, as our favorite food places are burger spots & street taco-like food versus sushi & ramen… but we could get all that at home & always longed for a taste of home in America… so now they have become our spots.
And aside from me being sick with a cold for most of our trip, we made some special, happy memories.
While we were away there in Japan for the week, I heard a rumor of an upcoming typhoon… but that was nothing new for our island home on Guam… so we didn’t think much of it.
Buckling Down
Returning to Guam, the talk of this typhoon was spreading. Warnings were being issued. Urgent posts were being shared to stock up & bunker up to prepare.
We have been through quite a few typhoons & this was typical. So, we bought a few days’ worth of food, refilled our water jugs for drinking water, charged devices, & made sure we found our flashlights. All the typical preparations.
In bed the night before we were hit, I was drifting to sleep when I felt an urgency in my heart suddenly to fill our bathtub with water. I grumbled through my longing to just slip off to sleep, but when I prayed about it, the urgency pushed all the more, so I got up to fill it up, even though it hadn’t been used because of drain issues… so it wasn’t exactly perfectly clean, but I filled it. Then, I texted my husband who was in his office (because, again, I wanted to just crawl back in bed & sleep) to ask if we should fill the other & he seemed uninterested because every other typhoon never took our water supply.
So, I prayed for protection & peace & I went to sleep.
A Day Like Any Other…
The day of the typhoon felt like any other.I noticed though right after I woke up that our water was off already—maybe precautionary shut off by the water company? We didn’t know.
We knew we may lose power overnight after it all passed, so we lowered all the air conditioner temperatures to help us get through the power outage on remaining coolness.
But other than that, the day was just like any other day off. We watched tv, played video games, enjoyed the AC, heated up food, & just prepared for the loud wind storm to begin like every other typhoon we’d been through.
In the afternoon, it was raining a lot & pretty windy, but nothing scary. And then we lost power but had the daylight to watch the storm outside.
It Felt Like Any Other Typhoon We’ve Been Through… Until It Wasn’t…
Although we had been through many storms like this… this time we didn’t have typhoon shutters on this house. And knowing how any left out lawn furniture or bicycles or anything can be lifted up and tossed, I felt a certain tension wondering if something would break a window at any moment & let the storm inside(as did happen for many friends we know).
The winds started picking up to what we felt must be the worst of it… just like most typhoons how it gets really intense before it passes completely by us. Then we heard updates that the eye was supposed to pass between 6-8pm sometime, meaning “the worst was almost over.”
Except it wasn’t. It was just getting started. The screaming winds & crashing sounds outside & rain just kept on intensifying as the sun crept down & slowly left us in blackness.
I could hear things crashing into the side of our house but couldn’t see a thing inside or outside of our house. But nothing hit any of our windows.
The reports now were saying that the eye kept reforming, prolonging the end of it all.
It was starting to become clear that this was no “regular typhoon.” This was seriously dangerous. It was intense & chaotic & deafening & our back door was bowing from the wind, letting water gush from the sides & the top & through underneath… but in our laundry room, where we had a raised step to the rest of the house & a septic backup drain in the floor.
I Just Wanted It to Stop
I hid in the hallway with a crank fan, a flashlight, & my phone because it was the only place without a window. I just squeezed my eyes shut & kept praying for protection & peace over & over because it was all I could think about for hours.
My day of video games & tv shows & fun snacks had turned into a nightmare in a matter of hours.
Then the new reports came in that the intensity may not end until midnight to 6am the next morning depending on whether the eye keeps reforming.
And, by God’s Grace, We Slept
Through it all, my husband was diligent in mopping all water toward that drain, determined not to let the flooding overtake our home, but calm.
His calmness helped center me like an anchor, God’s peace beginning to help me see that I needed to just trust Him & SLEEP.
So, we let our cat follow us in our room (he is usually not allowed because of my mild allergies) & he didn’t even hesitate as he followed us in & jumped on our bed to settle next to my feet.
And all three of us slept… by God’s grace. We slept.
A Deep Sigh of Relief… of Hope…
And when I woke up the next morning, the winds were still there but noticeably quieter, the rain was still coming down, but more like a normal summer storm… & I could see hopeful rays of sunshine in the next room.
I sighed the deepest sigh of relief as I felt hope & gratefulness begin flood my heart.
My husband had fashioned a funnel with all of our cleaning towels & rags, but the water was still about an inch deep in our laundry room, so I got to work in using our squeegee to push the rest of the water down the drain… but not after checking our windows & seeing that not a single one even had a crack… with all the loud crashing into our house I had heard overnight, nothing hit a window enough to break it. Thank. You. GOD!
And I thought the traumatic experience was over & done.
The Morning Light Shines on the Devastation
Until Jamie & I walked down our street & saw the extent of the wreckage everywhere.
All the lush tropical plants that once painted the sides of the drive up to our house with beautiful, vibrant colors were stripped completely, leaving views of abandoned houses boarded up, rusted large appliances left in yards, etc. All the jungle beauty was gone… just GONE.
And then reports of friends began pouring in. Lost homes due to severe flooding, damaged cars, lost personal items left out, missing pets. The pain everyone was feeling was heavy.
I cried a lot that day just from the weightiness of it all. Seeing so much pain everywhere around me & feeling helpless to do anything about it. It was so hard.
The Sleepless Night after the Storm
But then, the next night came. The remnants of air conditioning coolness was long gone, cold water was running low, & power/running water was out still.
I fell asleep, but woke up in the middle of the night almost feeling like a panic attack was trying tirelessly to rip me apart from the inside.
I was hot, hadn’t showered in a couple days (the night before the storm), felt sticky from the thick, humid air (even with the windows open)… pitch black house with no light even from a digital clock on the oven—I just wanted to see some LIGHT. And no fan—I was so hot & gross & sticky feeling.
I couldn’t go back to sleep. I would lay and stare into the darkness… then just sob over nothing in particular…then beg God—BEG God—for Him to just TURN THE POWER ON.
I felt swallowed up by the darkness—like it was ever closing in on me. I felt harassed & tormented by the sticky humidity discomfort. I felt heavy from all the destruction outside & friends’ homes. I just wanted cold water, fresh air, LIGHT, power on… hope.
Day 3 Since the Storm Began
Jamie got up, said goodbyes, went to work & I spent the day trapped alone in our miserably uncomfortable home, rationing the food we hadn’t bought enough of (handfuls of granola for breakfast, applesauce with peanut butter, almonds, & snacks for lunch… & a main meal once a day of a can of soup or chili).
Gas lines were 2+ hours, so we were trying to use our cars only for Jamie to go to work or for emergencies… but I was losing it. I felt so antsy & restless & endlessly uncomfortable… while also seeing my phone battery life slowly tick away… so I rebelled out of sanity-restoring necessity (mind the fact I had only gotten about 1.5 hours of sleep on top of everything else) & I sat in my car with the chair leaned back, AC blasting, & music playing… while charging my phone—the relief that was was incomparable!
What a reminder of everything I take for granted every single day that I should be praising God for every single day!
It’s Been 13 Days Since It Began
It’s been 13 days since the super typhoon began to hit us.
Our house still doesn’t have power, but God answered my prayer (begging) for rescue in an even better way. He provided a friend who got power & graciously & generously offered her guest room to us. He provided companionship & friendship through the grief, shock, & trauma I would have otherwise had to face alone while Jamie was away at work.
I get to see my cat, Cisco, every 2-3 days when I go to use that tub water to rag bath & bowl wash my hair. He’s doing fine & seems like nothing ever happened… purrs & playtime & temporary snuggles & extra treats.
Our house has full water as of yesterday (it’s been about 60% water pressure for about a week after we had to pay almost $300 post-typhoon for a plumber to fix a small broken pipe outside that was stealing all of the water pressure to inside our house). But what an encouragement that we’re now back to full water pressure!
Still no power for our house. 53.2% has been restored for residential power as of today.
I’m still using that filled bathtub to scoop out bowls of the water so I can wash off & wash my hair every few days (I don’t have the liberty to do my every other day hair wash making it now more like every 3-4 days because although we have water restored, there is a boil water notice because of the runoff from the storm flooding & the purification system still being down/can’t work effectively because of low water pressure island wide & low power). Thank You, God, for that bathtub of water!(1/3 of it remains.)
Healing Takes Time
While better days are becoming less of a rarity, trauma is funny in that it hits you in waves… remembering being huddled on the floor of a crowded hallway with piled boxes & being squished sitting on a small pillow hearing the world crash all around you while you sit in enveloping blackness… remembering the lush beauty outside just GONE… remembering rationing the food because you were no longer sure how long it would need to last… remembering my last sip of cool water before it was gone… remembering the smell of the garbage rotting from thrown out food… the bowl baths with not great water… the sticky hot overwhelming discomfort of the 24 hours+ that followed—desperate for even a drop of cool water on your tongue or a cool wet rag to pat on your neck, or just desperate to see that sun come up because the darkness was just so oppressively enveloping.
The crying, BEGGING God to just turn the power back on when we were still at our house. PLEASE!!!!
It still hits me sometimes. Sometimes something will randomly just trigger it & I feel like I get sucker punched in the gut & I just feel sobs begging to just threaten to swallow me up.
Sometimes the heaviness of it all just makes me want to crawl under the covers & run away from everything.
All the Time, God Is Good… God Is Good, All the Time
But through it all, God has been good to me.
He has held me while the world felt like it was crashing all around me.
He protected our shutterless house.
He confirmed IN OCTOBER a house purchase for us that just seemed like too much work, but we trusted His lead & went with it… & BACK THEN He knew it would be a home to protect us in a storm we didn’t even know was coming.
He lowered the CAT-5 typhoon of 180mph winds to a CAT-4 typhoon of 140mph winds just AS it hit Guam & as soon as it LEFT Guam it went back to a CAT-5.(Thank you ALL for praying for us! Got HEARD you!)
He didn’t give us power, but He sent me to a hospitable friend who did, who has fed us well, & has been a friend of comfort which has helped us all as we walk through the shock & the grief & the trauma. GOD KNEW I NEEDED THIS.
He urged me to fill the bathtub which in every other typhoon was NEVER needed & now I am able to bowl bath & keep a semblance of CLEAN.
He protected us & our home when so many people lost so much.
His Impossible Peace IN the Storms of Life–Even the Literal Ones
He gave me peace in moments when peace seemed like an impossibility.
He has been faithful to take my hand & walk me through moments where I just want to give up because it’s all too much & He has nudged me to just color & turn on worship music & just tune out the thoughts of it all that sometimes threaten to consume me… & to keep my heart set on Him… even if I feel sometimes that I have to FORCE myself to do so.
He has given me moments to laugh.
He has restored power to most of our friends & church family, relieving me from feeling heavy for their hurting.
He consistently has provided a trickle of water to my friend’s house so we could keep filling & pouring pots into our reserve for toilet-flushing.
God is so, so GOOD.
Living through a Super Typhoon
This is not what I would have chosen to go through & don’t ever wish to go through again, but living through a super typhoon has forced upon me the perspective of gratefulness for the small things in life I take for granted so easily.
Thank You, God. Thank You for everything I take for granted. Please forgive me for taking all of that so lightly, complaining about other things while neglecting to remember to still praise You for the rest. Thank You so much for protecting us & my friends & church family. Thank You for helping me even when I am not always handling the trauma well.You are such a gentle, patient, faithful Father. Thank You for providing us our home even when we doubted You. Thank You even that little Cisco cat is okay. Thank You for who You are. Thank You for everything. In Jesus’ holy, worthy name. AMEN.
Shine Hope by determining to praise God, even when it feels like your world is falling apart… God deserves it always & will carry you through the hardest of it all… And praising God will free your heart from letting despair spiral away your joy.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Indra Bracelet (India)
This stretch bracelet hand crafted out of dusty blue resin beads and gold-plated beads create a beautiful fair-trade piece to wear alone or stacked with other bracelets. Try stacking this one with the Alabaster Tassel Bracelet, to double the impact.
The Indra Bracelet is handcrafted in a workshop in India that’s committed to fighting child marriage and helping women overcome discrimination to become financially independent.
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
Growing up in middle class America, it’s hard for me to imagine a life any different than having reliable clean water, power, roof over my head, flushing toilets, soft carpets under my feet, warm air in winters & cool air in summers.
It’s easy to take all of those things for granted when you have always had them. You just assume that you always will have them. They become your comfort zone of security without even realizing it at times.
But then you lose air conditioning in your car in the middle of the hottest part of summer & you get a glimpse, just a glimpse, of what life is like for so many others on a day-to-day basis.
How spoiled I am that I don’t think it absolutely necessary to be praising God every moment for these things I so easily take for granted every day,for struggling to come up with something to be grateful for in the midst of the hardships of life–He has allowed me to have so much!
But What About That…?!
I think about the Israelites. They were SLAVES in Egypt & God came in & miraculously & awesomely displayed His glory, strength, & power (& LOVE) to rescue them out of that slavery that they cried out about so desperately for HOPE.
God came. He rescued them MIGHTILY (Exodus 6:6; book of Exodus). AND, He walked with them EVERY step, making His presence KNOWN to them very clearly & unmistakably with a pillar of fire by night & a pillar of cloud by day leading them all the way (Exodus 13:21-22). He supplied food every day. (Exodus 16) He gave them water, sometimes straight out of a rock miraculously if none was readily available where they were in the desert (Exodus 17:1-7; . He even made sure their shoes didn’t wear down & their clothes stayed intact through their seemingly endless trek through desert wilderness (Deuteronomy 29:5).
God PROVIDED.
And what did they do? They dreamed of a “better” life back in Egypt—as SLAVES.
In other words, they focused SO intently on what they DIDN’T have, that they could no longer even see, care about, or appreciate ALL they DID have.
Isn’t that me? God provides SO MUCH & all I can think of is… “but what about THAT?!” Shame on me. Shame on me. It’s so human of me, but it doesn’t make it right.
The Year of Many Withouts
This past year has been the year of many WITHOUTS.
When God asked us to uproot our lives to move back to Guam last summer, it was not an easy act of obedience for me.
Moving back to Guam meant leaving behind the best place/situation we had lived in since moving overseas. It meant being without the comfort of church family that felt truly like family, of the adventure of living in Japan (but with the comforts of an American base nearby), of healing from the hurts of my past 7 years of intense stress & isolation.
Easy pet flights no longer existed to Guam from Japan after covid. We were riding on a technicality, unsure until we arrived in Hawaii whether or not our cat’s transport would even truly be approved once we got there. We were on our way, everything riding on a CHANCE, without any assurances ahead of time to count on.
The Withouts Didn’t Stop
Then we got here & it was a seller’s market for a home & our budget couldn’t compete. We went about 3 months without a home of our own, living out of a suitcase.
Then we switched to a temporary living situation where it was covered in mold & had no hot water. So, we lived without clean air for almost 2 months & had to shower with cold water.
When we finally moved into our house, it was a flip undone, so we lived without internet for a while until the wiring was set up. We lived without an oven for about a month until we could switch the outlet. We lived without being able to wash our clothes at home for months until we could get an electrician to fix things for that to work, too. We lived without ready-to-live-in comfort & were met instead with project upon project.
And Then… A Super Typhoon Hits Us on Wednesday, May 24, 2023
And now, a typhoon has pretty much devastated our island. And we’ve been without power (A/C, lights, refrigerator, washing machine/dryer, oven, ability to charge anything, relief from heat, cool water to refresh, etc.) or running water (flushable toilets (without added water), showers, ability to wash anything, etc.) in our home. We’re without readily accessible gasoline (I waited in line for 2+ hours & now the lines are worse). We’re without a way to even leave the island. We’re without assurances of when life will resume any semblance of normalcy.
All of the lush, beautiful jungle plants are bare or stripped & tossed ways away.
They Had to Rely on God to Provide… And So Do We
And you know what? It is SO EASY to think like the Israelites.
They couldn’t go shop for what they needed because there was nowhere to go out in the wilderness. They had to rely on God to provide.
They couldn’t just go out for some food or water because they were out in the wilderness. They had to rely on God to provide.
They couldn’t protect themselves against the Egyptians who chased them down. They had to rely on God to provide.
They couldn’t rely on comforts because they had so few of them. They had to rely on God to provide.
And it’s uncomfortable. It’s hard. It’s NOT FUN.
But God does provide.
God Doesn’t Always Provide How We Want, But He Knows What We NEED–HIM
God does provide.
Maybe not with giving me the hot water I want… but in teaching me how to work around it or adjust to it. (I, who ONLY hot showered, grew to surprisingly appreciate cold showers through time that because of how refreshing it was—the initial cold jolt is uncomfortable, but then it just feels invigorating & rejuvenating.)
Maybe not in giving me a mold-free home… but in protecting me through it.
Maybe not in providing a ready-to-live-in home… but in teaching me to take stewardship of our home more to heart, seeing the sweat & tears we ourselves put into it over the years & looking back seeing all God helped us accomplish through it.
Maybe not in giving US power & running water, but in giving our friend power instead, using our lack to encourage us to go stay with her, so we could share & encourage each other through a very dark time when we would otherwise be going through the aftermath separately on our own.
God doesn’t always provide how I want Him to. And that’s a good thing.
Every decision He makes, in His all-seeing, all-knowing WISDOM is ALWAYS for our good AND His glory.
ALWAYS.
A False Security Versus Trusting God
I was blown away, after years of hearing sermons about the hardships the Israelites went through, how God led & protected, & all their endless grumbling & complaining… to learn of this little verse: “Yet the Lord says, “During the forty years that I led you through the wilderness, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet.”(Deuteronomy 29:5)
I mean, they never had to worry about how to provide their family with clothes or shoes or food or water because God just PROVIDED for them. But they still grumbled CONSTANTLY. They wanted to feel the “security” of being able to “provide for themselves” aka the ILLUSION that any of it is really from themselves in the first place.
When God allows things to be taken away… He also erases the illusion that ANY of it is of ourselves rather than it all really being from HIM.
When God allows things to be taken away… He also shows you He is MORE THAN SUFFICIENT even in your greatest WITHOUTS.
Trusting God Isn’t Easy, But It Is Always Worth It
It doesn’t mean it will be easy. It doesn’t mean it will be comfortable.
But it does mean He will provide if we trust Him to handle it rather than trying to take over or just plain give up without giving Him the chance.
It may not be in the hot water, but that you HAVE water.
It may not be in the power, but in the friendship connections going without encourages.
It may not be in things working out smoothly, but in seeing that God can make anything happen regardless.
It may not be in the material comforts, but that HE IS OUR COMFORT.
God Had a Plan in a Disaster We Didn’t Even See Coming
Going through this typhoon was hard.It was really, REALLY hard.
God protected us. He led us to this house & confirmed this house for us—despite our not understanding WHY—and because we were trusting HIM over ourselves on where to live… & He knew this typhoon was coming… how bad it would be… & that this house would stand.
God PROTECTED us because we trusted HIS lead in where to live, even when it made no sense to us.
How ungrateful & unwise I am to ever question our GREAT GOD.
Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow!
Thank You, God, for making a way for us to come to Guam WITH CISCO when there seemed to be no way. Thank You for just plowing us through when we couldn’t have any assurances. Thank You for knowing I needed to come back here, to see how you could grow something that hurt me to something that heals me… to let me see how nothing is beyond Your reach to grow & mature. Thank You for a second chance. Thank You that You know what You’re doing & You determine to do it for my good & for Your glory, even when I protest, doubt, & complain…because You love me enough to determine to keep moving me forward to the goodness I don’t see on the other side of it.Thank You that I can trust You even when I’m not sure I know how. Thank You that You always provide for my best, even when it doesn’t always look like it to me in the moment. Thank You for protecting us & our home & Cisco & our friends in this great storm that devastated so much here. Thank You that You heard our cries to You & lessened the winds from CAT-5 180mph to CAT-4 140mph winds just as it passed over Guam & then back to CAT-5 as it left. You PROTECTED us! Thank You! Thank You for reminding me, sometimes even against my will, to PRAISE You in all of this aftermath & the trauma. Sometimes I thought I would go literally crazy in the oppressive heat & I BEGGED for the power to come back on & You didn’t do it… but You brought us to a friend who could share not only in that, but in the reprieve of living through the trauma of uncertainties & destruction in the aftermath with a friend. Thank You that You are so greatly to be praised. Thank You for pushing me to praise You so my heart could let go & fall into Your arms of rest & comfort versus tension & panic. Thank You for reminding me that You got so mad at the Israelites all those years in the wilderness NOT because they kept struggling through all the hardships, but because they complained & grumbled RATHER THAN trusting they could come to You with their struggles & trust You to help them through it. Thank You for reminding me to turn my angst, worry, hurt, stress, etc. to prayer, crying out to You as my help IN IT. Not giving up or giving in to despair, but trusting You can be my supply despite the odds or likelihood because YOU ARE GOD. Thank You. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.
Shine Hope by determining to keep crying out to God in your need, even when no relief seems even possible… & by determining to PRAISE Him even when the world looks like it is falling apart all around you. PRAISE HIM.
God Is Deserving of My Trust!
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)
“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” (Psalm 20:7)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” (Psalm 46:1-3)
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)(“The grass is always greener on the side you’re watering.” -author unknown) There will always be good & there will always be hard… which will you let control your thoughts?
“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His loved endures forever.” (Psalm 118–all of it is so good!)
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
“Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, Who gave Himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to Whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” (Galatians 1:3-5)
Last Note on Trauma…
Living through one of Guam’s top 2 worst typhoons, despite our house surviving, really left me shell-shocked. If I am at my house & the sun is going down & I can’t find my phone, I actually feel real panic because it’s sometimes my only light source because my house has gone 6 days without power now & it’s also my only connection to family & friends when the world goes dark at night. When my battery gets low, I feel a strong need to search a power source soon. When it gets hot & humid, I get flashbacks to feeling trapped in our oven of a house with no relief because no cool water to drink or breeze or shower or anything. When my gas ticks lower, I remember that 2+ hour line & feel desperate to conserve or refill.
It is strange how much a natural disaster kicks in your fight or flight survival instincts even when things are getting safer again. It’s trauma. It logically doesn’t make any sense & yet it is.
Be patient & gracious & prayerful with people who have gone through a natural disaster. It’s no joke. Some moments I feel rays of hope shining in me & the next moment I am choking down a sob or fear just smacks me in the face because of a memory or a trigger from the actual storm or thinking about the devastating aftermath that hits me out of nowhere.
Even if they’re technically “okay” again, they may not be okay… & that is okay. Give them space to feel safe again & for the trauma to heal. Consider how economic crashes where food rations were very real then cause whole generations to be strict about not throwing out food EVER. It takes a toll on you going through something devastating like that & that’s just how it is sometimes.
Give space for healing & give grace—even if it doesn’t make any sense to you because you know they’re okay NOW—it may not make sense to them either & yet it is. Give grace & pray for healing.
It’s okay to not be okay. Cry out to God as your help & determine to praise Him no matter what.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Block Print Tote (India)
This artisanal Block Print Tote from India is a true work of art! Using a traditional Artisanal process where blocks are carved into intricate designs, they stamped the block with pigment before applying to the fabric like a stamp. This tote features a block-printed flower, a Chrysanthemum, and is oversized, making it perfect for trips to the grocery store or local markets.
***Every purchase helps a mom in India send her children to school.***
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
I don’t know about you, but when I have always read these verses, I would get a little quicker past a few verses like the ones I shared above.
I know I don’t measure up to that standard. I know I am nowhere NEAR being holy apart from the righteousness accounted to me through JESUS.
So, reading verses like that just seems like “lalala, I can’t HEAR you!”because the impossibility of it mixed with the directness of it made me uncomfortable.
That doesn’t mean I discount them or think they’re not entirely important–because God says it, but I never really considered the fact that IF GOD SAYS IT… it MUST be possible.
Nothing So Obviously Rebellious
But, if I am really, truly honest with myself, I can tell that there are certain sins that I’m okay with—& that’s not okay.
Now, I don’t mean that in the way of picking & choosing certain ones of the Ten Commandments given by God to Moses (Deuteronomy 5:1-21) & saying, “I think THIS ONE is okay… oh, & THIS ONE, too!” Nothing so obviously rebellious.
It’s more that if I consider the command to by HOLY & that WHATEVER I do, ALL should be for God’s glory… weeelllll…. I don’t always 100% live like that–& I should, because God says to.
I mean, most things, sure… I try to anyway… but how often do I stop comparing what I’m okay with… with what GOD says He’s okay with… versus with other people in my life?
Do I let HIM set the gauge on ALL things? Or my church? Or my parents? Or a Christian author? Or my peers?
Who determines for me what God is okay with in my life?
Do I Excuse Things That Promote Sin?
Here’s a BIG example for me that up until my self-imposed “rehab” from reliance on coping mechanisms versus trusting that God’s peace really can be sufficient & I don’t have to be trapped any longer by the “OR ELSE” that comes with maintaining my coping mechanisms for my depression… I can really be free from them & trust God in their place… but that is a rabbit hole from my point…
In my “rehab,” I have not allowed myself to watch any tv (read: binge watch, because once my symptoms hit, I have grown to have zero self-control anymore when it comes to tv-watching once I start as I try to drown out the symptoms). And in this giving up of television… amongst other things… I have found it has become much easier to live in a way that honors God—including & especially my thought life!
Why? I think it’s because although I try not to watch “trashy” television, a lot of it still portrays sin & that sin influences me even in subtle ways I would have never owned up to or even recognized previously because I grew up watching tv & it’s always been considered completely, absolutely acceptable—as long as I am not indulging in “filth” that PROMOTES & openly DISPLAYS sin.
But unless my prayer life & Bible study time outweighs the time I spend influenced by tv, guess which one is most likely going to have the stronger, albeit subtler, influence over me?(Galatians 6:8)
How Do You Think It Makes God Feel?
If I am engaging in something where sin is taken lightly,(aka something that God hates & considers worthy of needing to send Jesus to DIE for us because otherwise the punishment is eternal wretched torment in HELL (Romans 6:23; Isaiah 53:5-6; John 3:16-17)… does it honor Him if I engage in enjoying it?
Imagine your friend confides in you that someone called her fat & laughed at her & it just caught her off guard & deeply cut her & hurt her & she confides in you saying how much it hurts her… then you sit down with her & choose to watch a show where one character or another makes fun of someone’s weight & a laugh track plays… how do you think your friend is going to feel about that being the butt of the joke?
How do you think God feels when He sees you watching or engaging in something that makes light of something He says hurts Him? Namely, SIN? Do you think that honors Him? Pleases Him? Or hurts His heart? How do you think it makes God feel?
If a particular sin is treated dismissively, like no big deal… or promoted or praised, when God says it is worthy of DEATH & eternal punishment in Hell… where Jesus had to DIE because of it… do you think it honors Him to engage in it or excuse it or watch it? Do you think it pleases Him?
How do you think it makes God feel?
Is This Legalism?
This is where my conviction creeps in, because I recognize how much of a surprising change it’s been in me just these last 2.5 ish months just from not watching tv… & now I am realizing that what I have justified–because it’s widely accepted… may not be what’s best for me because I can’t say with full confidence that it doesn’t hurt or dishonor or displease God.
“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify [build up].” (1 Corinthians 10:23, brackets added)
It’s not a matter of legalism. I can’t be saved by being “good” (Ephesians 2:8-9) & any amount of “good” in me is counted as dirty rags to God (Isaiah 64:6)… it’s ONLY by/through JESUS. Only.(John 14:6)
BUT, it IS a matter of whether I really care about giving God the GLORY in WHATEVER I do…. It IS a matter of whether I will CHOOSE to strive to honor & please God with every choice I make (aka striving to live HOLY & pleasing to GOD).
Where Do I Draw the Line?
What’s more important to me? Salvation with a side of living however I see fit as long as it’s not “TOO” offensive/dishonoring to God?
Where’s my line that I’m willing to draw there?
Where am I willing to hurt Him “just a little”?
Do I care about being HOLY? Or just “good enough”?
Do I justify things because I REALLY LIKE IT & IT’S “NOT THAT BAD”?
What are we okay with watching that makes light of any of that sin because our church always allowed those movies/shows because they weren’t openly engaging in it or promoting it… maybe so our parents were okay with it, our peers encourage it, the world accepts it…?
Have we bothered to ask God what HE is okay with in any of it?
I’m a Sinner… I’m Still Learning to Surrender More to Him for His Glory over My Entertainment
I am not saying all of this because I have it all figured out & always make the right decision or even always know what the right decision is.
I am not here to make the call on where that line ought to be for you.
God says to be 100% convinced in your OWN heart before God… (Romans 14:5) & that if we’re not, & we choose to do it anyway… to US (not necessarily to everyone) it IS sin. (Romans 14:23)
Are you 100% convinced in your heart before God?
The Sins We’re Okay With
The sins we’re okay with… would you say there’s anything you’re okay engaging in that downplays, glorifies, or makes light of anything God hates? Where is the line for you on what you’re okay disappointing, displeasing, or hurting God?
Is there ANY doubt that you’re burying in justifications even though you know very well or even just have the slight inkling idea that maybe God is NOT okay with it?
What sins are you okay with if “to YOU (because of doubt) they are sin”?
SHINE HOPE by being willing to lay down a prayer of surrender whenever God nudges your heart about something, saying, “God, LORD, if there is ANYTHING I do that dishonors or displeases you in the SLIGHTEST, help me to NOT be okay with it anymore. WEED IT OUT of my life! I want my life to strive for holiness AKA a life that seeks to honor & please You with everything I choose. In Jesus’ HOLY name, Amen.”
Amen.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
(Explorer Gift Set: India, Haiti, & Guatemala)
Looking for a thoughtful, unique gift? Send him an ethically made gift that makes the world a better place! This Explorer Gift Set empowers families out of poverty with the genuine leather Explorer Wallet from India, a hand-stitched card from Haiti, and packaged in a traditional fabric pouch handwoven in Guatemala. The Explorer Set is perfectly packaged to give to the influential man in your life for Father’s Day, Graduation gifts, or a spring birthday!
*****Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for families in areas of extreme poverty in India, Haiti, and Guatemala.*****
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
Are you influencing the world or is the world influencing you? This question was posed at church on Sunday & it really stuck with me.
We have so much potential to live out the grace of God to the world around us, do you realize that? Do I?
Oh, I know our neighbors & our co-workers & extended family seem “just fine,” but imagine having to carry the weight & burden & shame of your choices, second-guessing yourself maybe or trying to stuff those feelings deep down so you can carry on, always stretching toward an ever-fleeting peace or hope or happiness—because you don’t have any true, lasting, solid HOPE.
You have the potential, as an ambassador for God, dear Christians, to live as a physical representation of His grace & hope & peace in the world going on around you every day.Do you realize that?
It’s easy for me to want to answer that question with a quick, “duh, of course,” because it really IS my desire… but when I take a moment to honestly examine my thoughts, my attitude, my day-to-day choices, & my focus—oftentimes, it doesn’t really look like I do realize that after all.
Just Livin’ Life
I go about my life like most people. I get up, usually grumpy at my alarm clock, tired, & dragging my feet to the bathroom to start getting ready for my day.
Then, I say a quick “I love you” to my husband (& my cat) & head to work.
I do my job, barely looking up from my piles of papers to check, except to walk kids to their daily specials… then go to lunch… go home for a quick, often unappreciated kitty snuggle (deep down, I know he loves me… but his snuggle limit typically lasts about 4 minutes)… then get to my chores & “learning corner” of hobbies (ASL, Spanish, & piano).
Time to get dinner ready, greet my hubs, eat, hang out, then get ready for bed & TRY to sleep (I’m not always good at sleeping).
Just going about my day. All that routine… all that stuff to do… but I barely ever really stop to think, “am I representing the grace of Jesus to the people I pass at work? To people I see when I run my errands? To anyone really?”
I just seem to day-in & day-out DO what I need to DO that day & then start again the next day.
Without His CONSTANT Influence & Guidance…
Do you go with the flow, letting the world shape your mind, your attitude about stuff going on in the world, or even your routines/habits?Or do you intentionally seek to lay everything down every moment with a silent prayer of, “Lord, I know my gut response is _____, but what honors & pleases You in this? Help me do that. Give me wisdom & give me strength to do that. Nothing else. Help me live every moment for You & Your glory somehow. Show me how. AMEN.”
I think that’s why God instructs us in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to “pray without ceasing.” That’s that WHOLE verse right there. PRAY WITHOUT CEASING.
He knows full well how easy it is to just hop right into our routine without a second thought.
I need to remember to better learn this habit of “pray WITHOUT CEASING…”every thought, every routine, every habit, every task, every interaction, ALL OF IT bowed to Him… offered to Him as an opportunity to be an INTENTIONAL influence for HOPE in the world around me every day… every moment.
Just Don’t Let Them Get in the Way of GOD
Habits & routines aren’t bad. They help us function more effectively & efficiently… but the danger in them is that I can get so used to them & so comfortable in them that I barely ever look up… I barely ever consider, “what if God wants to change my route today? What if God wants me to interact with someone specific today for a loving word of Truth or a smile or an encouraging word… & it takes me off my scheduled/routined path?” What if?
Will I be willing to let God interrupt my routine/habits to better be an influence of grace to someone He puts in my path or will I be too sidetracked with my own routine?
Will I be willing to say, “God, interrupt my day if it’s Your desire. Show me PEOPLE & HEARTS in need of You today. Give me Your eyes. Give me Your wisdom. Give me Your LOVE for PEOPLE. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”
Are our tasks important? Sure. Are they AS important as God’s assignment for your any given day? NOPE, not even CLOSE.
God Knows… He KNOWS
Maybe it’s tempting to think: “But, I have RESPONSIBILITIES! GOD KNOWS THAT!”
Yes, He does know that. So, guess what… if He chooses to interrupt your plans, HE HAS A PLAN for THAT, too!
Oh, how easy it is for me to trust MY plan & my view of the day & what I think is just SO important.
Oh, how easy it is for me to look to OTHERS to tell me what is of utmost importance. A boss maybe? Should I listen to them? Of course? Should I let them trump God’s lead? NOPE, never. God has a plan for THAT, too.
Oh, how I tend put God’s lead LAST.
As if He doesn’t know it’s important.
As if He doesn’t know my responsibilities need doing.
As if He doesn’t know I have commitments to keep.
As if He doesn’t know.
Am I Willing to Trust Him Above MYSELF? Am I?
Am I willing to trust that He knows what’s needed… what’s expected of me? That He’ll cover that & lead me in the HOW?
Am I willing to think maybe, just maybe He knows better & more than ME?
Am I willing to LET HIM interrupt ME?
Am I willing to let Him use me to be an influence of His grace to the world around me?
Am I willing to pray WITHOUT ceasing, bowing EVERY interaction & thought & activity & routine & habit & task to HIM for HIS will over MY plans?
Are You Influencing the World or Is the World Influencing You? ALL for God’s Glory
Are you influencing the world? Or is the world influencing YOU?
“So, whether you eat or drink, or what ever you do… do it ALL FOR the GLORY of GOD.” (1 Corinthians 10:31, emphasis added)
Shine HOPE. Be intentional. Be surrendered.Be willing to be interrupted. Be willing to let God take the lead of your every thought, task, or habit. Be willing to be an influence for HIS GRACE to the world around you everywhere you turn.
“God, I want to be this way for You! I really do! But I am so quick to my routines. Please teach me to pray WITHOUT ceasing, making my every passing thought a prayer to You to lead me, to interrupt me, to use me for Your grace & glory. Take me by the hand. Make this thinking my true over-arching-all habit. Use me to influence this lost world with Your Mountain-Moving GRACE. In Jesus’ all-powerful, unconditionally loving, gave-everything-for-us name, amen.”
AMEN.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Agate Key Bracelet (Dominican Republic)
The varying shades of genuine blue lace agate stone make every Agate Key Bracelet from the Dominican Republic entirely unique. Each stretch-to-fit bracelet features a gold-tone accent bead and a delicate gold key charm.
***Every purchase of this bracelet supports a safe house in the Dominican Republic that provides housing, education, legal services, and trauma counseling for survivors of human trafficking.***
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
I don’t want to write today. My hip is hurting & no matter which chair I try–nothing feels good sitting down.
I’m also feeling a complete mind blank. I keep trying to start typing & then my mind just goes NOPE.
Plus, the numbing & physical ANGST I am experiencing from not immediately just running to addictive coping mechanisms is a STRUGGLE. No one ever said re-routing to better help would be easy, but I know it will be 100% worth it to find my rest in Him versus a constant marathon of trying to outrun my depression symptoms for the rest of my life.
And every morning lately is a struggle. I think I’m just not sleeping soundly, or not getting enough sleep. And while I AM sleeping lately (thank You, God, for SLEEP!), I still feel like I wake up every morning groggy & squeezing my eyes shut in an “ALREADY?!” type of frustrated, defeated cry from my heart, wishing my alarm clock was lying & I still had a couple hours left to squeeze out more sleep.
The Good, the Bad, & the UGLY
And right now, lounging on the couch, trying very uncomfortably to type this way(cue aching wrists soon) because my hip hurts ANY way I sit down… well, I just want to sigh & say, “Well, I tried” & close my computer screen & be DONE.
Why write today?What’s the point?How can I encourage & build up anyone up with this kind of attitude? And pain? When I care more about quitting?
And I get it. You may be thinking, “off days happen, Michelle. Cut yourself some slack, we understand.” And if you thought that, I THANK you for having that kind of grace.
But God has made it clear when I started this blog journey that He desired for me to show up on the good AND off days.
Consistent But NOT Fake? How?
You know what one of my delay reasons was before I launched my website? I didn’t want to be fake. And if I wasn’t going to be fake, how could I be consistent? The two seemed to contradict each other.
It’s sort of like working in customer service when you do anything ministry related. You feel this PRESSURE to always be ON for everyone… & if not, to fake it… to plaster on a big smile & say, “everything is great!” even on days when you feel anything but.
Part of it is pride &/or fear: “they may question my faith if I don’t show up with a smile & a ready answer to okay away my struggle.”
Part of it is maybe pressure to represent God well: “I don’t want them to think God isn’t enough!”
Be ready with a smile. Always. No matter what. That’s the feeling sometimes.
Pastors & their wives no doubt often get this pressure more than most anyone else.Pray for them & be kind & supportive where you can! It can be lonely (I have many friends who are pastors/pastor’s wives).
As Always, Pray
So, if God impresses upon me to be consistent, but also be authentic… the two seemed to clash significantly. How can I do both well? Lord knows my attitude isn’t always great… that I have to surrender my mornings an embarrassing amount of times in order to even BEGIN to feel ready to honor Him versus begrudging my entire day simply for keeping me away from more sleep.
And so, I literally began asking Him that very question as He was leading my heart about this website launch over 5 years ago. “God, I get it… I feel like You want me to do this. But how? You know my awful attitude some days. My depression symptoms? My fleshly pull to do what I want more some days? How in the world can I do this blog, be consistent, AND not become this smiley, always “ON” fake? That alone would depress me, feeling like I have to be a fake to everyone in order to keep it up EACH week. But if I’m real, some days I just don’t care or don’t feel like it AT ALL. How do I have both??? No, I wouldn’t make it. I would have to quit because it would be too much pressure… no one can be “on” 24/7 & not begin to struggle internally A LOT. What do You want from me? How do I do it? Please show me.”
It’s Not About Me Anyway!
His answer quite frankly caught me off guard. That it’s not about me showing up & proving I have it all together because “Christians are a step above the rest” (we’re not… we’re just human like everyone else) “because we have Jesus” (as if that means we never make mistakes or choose wrongly… it doesn’t).
No.
That it’s about showing up, no matter what state my heart is in that day, even if I’m a wretched, self-absorbed, self-centered grump… or even if I’m a weak, vulnerable, “falling apart at the seams” blob… to point to HIM in it ALL as MY HOPE.
To echo: “I am NOT PERFECT, but HE IS!”
To echo: “I SIN, but HE DOES NOT!”
To echo: “I am HUMAN, but HE IS GOD!”
To echo: “I am WEAK, but HE IS STRONG!”
To echo: “I am NOT worthy of praise or attention or glory, but HE IS WORTHY!”
Basically… it’s not about me anyway!
He Compels Me… He Leads Me… & He Works through Me WHEN I am WILLING to Submit My Insufficiencies & Failures for His All-Sufficiency & GLORY!
And so, even on UGLY days, when I would really rather just quit… Or hide my weakling self… Or cover up my less-than-attractive qualities… I will shout them from the rooftops. I will be real about it. I will show up even on my worst days when all I honestly want to do is complain & quit… & I will forever point to HIM as my only HOPE… as YOUR only hope.
That I NEED Him… EVERY day!
Guys, I am not deserving of any praise from you. Do you know how often I want to choose ME?
But, GOD.
He compels me. He leads me. He is sufficient for me.
And He is for you, too.
Despite & through Your Faults… NEVER to Excuse Them
I’m not saying all of this to be like, “Be YOU,” as if to excuse your bad attitudes or mine… those need to be repented of, to ask forgiveness of God for them… surrendered to Him.
But that even in your not great moments when you make the WRONG choice… sometimes ON PURPOSE… that you take ownership of that mistake, repent of it, & don’t hide it as if that somehow makes God look “better.”
No, show the world. Show the world your very real NEED of Him… of His daily GRACE.
Show the world that you’re not strong, that you choose wrongly sometimes… but that His grace is there to greet you the MOMENT you come to Him in humble repentance.
Show the world that you are NOT enough… but that HE IS.
Be real. Be honest. Be a display that no matter how WRETCHED we are found to be in our sin… no matter how WEAK we are in our flesh… GOD IS STRONG… GOD IS GRACE… GOD IS LOVE!
Don’t wait until you’re perfect to serve Him & to seek His glory. Because you never will be. You’re not Jesus.
Shine for Him on the Ugly Days, Too
Shine for Him on the ugly days, too. Bow the imperfections & bad attitudes to Him & ask Him to help you see how YOU can give Him glory JUST WHERE YOU ARE.
Because, to be honest… the reason we exist… is to GIVE GOD GLORY.
So, do that. Right where you are…even when you’re FAR less than perfect… like me today.
Shine HOPE by letting Him have your ALL—Even the bad parts.And by using those bad parts as opportunities to shine God’s GRACE, POWER, & LOVE to a world that needs Him so desperately much!
Shine HOPE.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
“Walter” the Bunny (Vietnam)
LIMITED EDITION – while supplies last! Cuddly, soft, and lovable, Walter the Bunny is charming, mini, fair-trade fun with his handsome blue bowtie and carrot accessory. Each bunny comes with an adorable carrot that is not attached to the bunny making it perfect for creative play! Artisans in Vietnam hand crochet each bunny with soft cotton-blend yarn and neutral gray, black, and blue colors that make this stuffed animal the perfect gift for any occasion or decor. Each huggable bunny is hand stuffed by visually impaired women in areas of extreme poverty.
Have you met Walter’s best friend, Mabel the Bunny? They make quite the pair! Every purchase of Walter or Mabel the Bunny provides fair-trade jobs for local women and villagers who are overcoming disabilities, homelessness, and extreme poverty in Vietnam.
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
I take things personally too often. It’s one of my not great qualities. Honestly, that’s why I had to pray so much leading up to even taking the first steps with creating & publishing this website.
Even if it’s a simple misunderstanding with another person, I tend to take it as my character &/or integrity being questioned & it hurts my feelings.
I know people make mistakes.I know I make mistakes… but I still feel the sting when someone misunderstands me in some way.
But then, deep down, if I take time to surrender the hurt to God, God reminds me that my true wrestling match is not with the other person(Ephesians 6:12), but with Satan aiming to sow discord among us.
The Cunning Snake
You see, Satan is a cunning snake. He has had MANY years to learn how humans tick… to know how to create divisions, disagreements, & discord. He knows where to strike.
It’s something I always try to keep in mind & repeatedly try to remind others when meeting with young ladies for discipleship/accountability. Because if you have a relationship with someone that honors & glorifies God, encouraging & edifying one other toward the gospel & good works… you can be SURE that Satan will be QUICK to do WHATEVER he can to break that up… ASAP.
So, if you feel a pull from insecurity, shame, annoyance, frustration, or anything not PEACE-laden pulling you away from someone, you can be sure Satan is doing what he can to keep you both from glorifying God together…. Another reason why he attacks marriages & ministries so often!
And yet, even knowing this… I still fall for it sometimes.
Disagreements, Grumpies, & Hurt Feelings
It can start as small as a disagreement about something, seeing something differently than someone else… or maybe a misunderstanding… & if left unchecked, begins to erode away the potentially God-honoring, blessed connectionyou may have with someome, until you feel so stiff, tense, &/or insecure around them that you maybe start making new routes in your life to avoid interacting with them.
Sometimes it’s a grumpy mood, “that time of the month,” waking up “on the wrong side of the bed,” or just a good ol’ tough day… & it gets misinterpreted or maybe taken out on someone else… or the grump on your face gets seen as an afront against someone else & now you’re in a feud with someone you didn’t even realize you had offended.
Or maybe you DO realize because your day was SO bad & your mood was left unchecked for TOO long & the cramps are UGH & you just let a curt word come out of your mouth when responding (or rather, REACTING) to someone else. Oops.
It doesn’t take much. Satan is QUICK to jump in there with leading conclusions & jabbing at your insecurities & stabbing at your vulnerabilities until now you’re fuming & “well, I didn’t realize they were SUCH A JERK! Forget them!”
Yeah, it happens.
Be Aware So You Can Pray
But, we need to be aware of this because we need to know to pray about this.
We need to know the signs, the dangers, the manipulations that Satan uses on our weak spots, emotions, & insecurities.
And we need to know to PRAY.
Satan wants grudges,God wants grace.
Satan wants rifts, God wants restoration.
Satan wants division, God wants unity & peace.
Learn to take your gut reaction to God… to forgive you for your gut reaction if it does not honor or would not please Him… for help laying the offense at His feet… & for wisdom on a path toward restoration, through grace, for reconciled unity & peace with that person.
A Prayer of Surrender in the Hurt of the Moment
“God, OOOHH that was not cool! I feel so frustrated & tense & I just want to REACT! But… God help me, please help me. Help me to take a deep breath. Help me place this on Your strong shoulders.Help me let go. Maybe they’re having a bad day. Maybe they’re just grumpy & I’m making more of it. Maybe they really are MAD at me. I don’t know & it shouldn’t matter! Help me lay that on You.Give me Your peace.Don’t let me fall prey to Satan’s twisting, manipulative divisiveness. Help me give it to YOU. Help me to LOVE even when I don’t feel loved back. Help me to SERVE those who seem to dislike me, knowing they don’t have to even like me for me to do the right thing. Help me to honor YOU with how I respond. HELP me do that. My gut response is pettiness, anger, frustration, avoidance… but You command GRACE as You have given me such grace. Grace, by definition, is undeserved—so even if they meant to be mean to me, help me to have the surrender-to-YOU attitude to let You handle it & to help me give grace. Help me love like You love, not reviling or threatening in return (1 Peter 2:21-24). But, love. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”
Don’t Let Satan Sow Discord Among You
Maybe they really are just having a bad day & it really has NOTHING to do with you.
Maybe they MEANT IT & wanted to hurt you.
Regardless… LOVE.
Regardless… GRACE.
Regardless… Honor God with your RESPONSE(even if you have to bite your lip HARD, take a DEEP breath, & PRAY for help desperately).
If you have a prayer partner, an accountability partner, are in discipleship with someone… EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN & PRAY AGAINST IT & for discernment to see it!
It Hurts, I Know…
You don’t have to be respected to be respectful.
You don’t have to be liked to love.
You don’t have to be admired to do what’s right.
You don’t have to be well-treated to be kind.
Despite their choice… YOU have a choice.
Honor God. Lean on God. Let God help you.
To God be the Glory Forever and Ever!
Don’t let Satan sow discord among you, because Lord knows HE WILL TRY.
Shine HOPE by praying for the discernment to recognize Satan’s crafty schemes & the submissive heart to come to God for help with a response that honors Him versus letting Satan control the narrative through your natural human response.
Choose to honor God ALWAYS, even when it doesn’t feel so great in that exact moment.
God will bless you for your obedience.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Silver Remi Necklace (India)
This classic silver-tone beaded necklace from India is an everyday wardrobe essential. Wear it alone or layer it with other necklaces! Customize your length with the adjustable extension chain on the back featuring an easy-clasp closure.
***Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages in areas of extreme poverty where vulnerable women are often exploited by sweatshops.***
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
I have talked a few times about this topic of praise, here & there… but today, I just wanted to sit in it for a moment. I want a chance to really let it sink in & settle in our hearts… mine included.
I’m a complainer… a whiner. When things get hard, I look for a way out. It is not natural for me to “be still & know that He is God,” as the verse so rightly encourages & guides. (Psalm 46:10)
Even if I push through & try not to let it change how I interact with others, it’s easy for me to see an existing problem that will not go away, & just want to throw my head back in frustration & yell, “GO AWAY ALREADY!”
I get overwhelmed & unsettled & I don’t like it.
And sometimes, when I feel frustrated & overwhelmed & I cry out to God for help, the response comes like a gentle breeze over my heart, “Praise Me.”
And When Hurts Are Heavy…
Sometimes it’s something that hurt me deeply, either a traumatic circumstance or betrayal of someone close to me, & I just feel despair begin to settle on me like a heavy, cumbersome blanket, pushing me down under its weight.
Crawling in bed, pulling the comforter up to my chin, curling up on my side, just wanting to shut out the whole world.
And sometimes, in these burdensome moments when the hurt closes in around me & I can only manage choking out a silent sob,I stop to pray to God for rescue & refuge, & the response comes like a gentle breeze over my heart, “Praise Me.”
And When God Leads Me Where I Do Not Want to Go…
Or when God asks something of me that I DO NOT WANT…like when He first revealed His guiding us back to Guam.
I felt stubborn & angry & hurt & afraid. It became a wrestling match between me & God. I knew He would win (that He SHOULD win), that He is never wrong, that He always had a plan… but I didn’t want it. I was afraid.
And His reminder, that felt so annoying to my defiant heart, was the response that came like a gentle breeze over my heart, “Praise Me.”
And When Depression Symptoms Threaten to Envelop Me…
My depression symptoms, too. Oh, how they can beat me up sometimes.
It’s true that I’m in a weird transition of recognizing how I have made my coping mechanisms my idols, turning to them IN PLACE OF God’s peace… so I am cutting myself off of them, my idols, forcing myself to try trusting ONLY in God with NO substitutes… & you may think, “if you need them, you need them, Michelle. If they help, use them,” but it’s beyond that. I have become DEPENDENT on them, ADDICTED to them, & once I indulge, the consuming weight shifts from the symptoms to an inability to pull away from the coping mechanisms.
And some days, I feel strong & able, seeing God guide me in His PEACE… a freedom.
But other days, I just want it to be easy & I just want to run away to what feels easy, to what I know… to STUFF every hint of the angst it brings. And I feel overcome & afraid of losing to the symptoms.
And even still, when I run instead to my prayer journal to hash out my angst in desperate prayers of repentance & admission to God of my fear(aka my lack of trust in Him), asking for His help, the response comes like a gentle breeze over my heart, “Praise Me.”
He Is Worthy. He Is Sufficient. He Cares for Me.
Praise Him. Give Him thanks. Worship Him… the echoed reminders to my heart in times of trouble.
Sometimes it feels insensitive. Would you feel that way? Like God is just dismissing your hurt, fear, angst, etc.? But at the heart of it, if you take prayerful time to look deeper, you begin to see the wisdom behind this gentle nudge to Praise Him in ALL circumstances.
In some seasons, life can seem overwhelmingly painful. Like you are being dragged down to the ground & you can’t ever get up again. Sometimes it’s scary & uncertain & everything just seems to be exploding all around you in chaos & pain & you may really feel that if you fall, you may never be able to get back up again.
But Praise Him.
Why? Because it takes our eyes off the mess & redirects them to HIM.
Cultivating a Heart of Praise-A Vital Necessity in Life
Cultivating a heart of praise is a VITAL necessity in life–to bow our hurting, heavy hearts under His strong, mighty, capable hand.
Saying, “God, this is HARD, but You, You’re Enough! You are mighty. You are strong. You are ABLE! I can rely on You. I can trust You. You have a plan & You can carry me through any valley or ANY storm! You are worthy to be praised, come what may, no matter what! You are sufficient as my refuge & my strength in ANY time of trouble. You are GOD!”
God isn’t being insensitive when He nudges your heart to praise Him when it’s hard… it’s His reminder to you to take a moment to put your hope NOT in how YOU can handle the given situation or circumstance, but in HIM.
Let Your Heart Choose to Praise Him in ALL Circumstances
“God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling. Selah” (Psalm 46:1-3)
“IN the multitude of my anxieties, Your comforts delight my soul.” (Psalm 94:19; emphasis added)
“My grace is sufficient, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
“Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
God hasn’t abandoned me in those HARD moments, He is beckoning me to lay that HARD at His feet for help & to lift Him up in my heart so I may remember WHO He is… WHO loves me… & WHO is able!
He doesn’t promise life will never be hard. We live in a sin-torn, broken world, in NEED OF JESUS… but He does promise to be with us in it & through it… & to be our sufficiency.(Read about why we need JESUS, here: “The Gospel Changes Everything” & “Why the Gospel Is Such a Big Deal.”)
PRAISE HIM! Not just for the promise of eternity with Him, but now, in the hurting.
He is worthy.
Lean into Him. Put your weight on Him. Lift Him up in your heart.
PRAISE HIM for He is worthy to be praised!
Shine HOPE by DETERMINING to PRAISE Him in ALL circumstances… & so also find the hope you’re so desperately needing in your darkest moments–in HIM.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Citrus Wood Body Butter (USA)
Every purchase of this Citrus Wood Body Butter empowers women survivors of human trafficking, addiction, and abuse in Nashville, U.S.A.
This Citrus Wood Body Butter is designed to glide on for a refreshingly airy application to provide less bulk and more hydration. Enjoy the refreshing cedar and citrus scent this blend provides.
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
It seems there is no rest for me lately with lessons learned… hard lessons.
First was trusting God with moving where I didn’t want to go, leaving a place I wanted to stay,needing to wrestle with the anger, hurt, & fear to trust & learn to desire God’s will & plan over my own…then the chaotic move that had Satan seemingly throwing obstacles at our every turn,needing to run blind & just trust that God would clear a way where there seemed no way…then all the stuff with the house& needing to rest that in His hands… to 2 months ish of consistent sleeplessness,where I learned He is sufficient & faithful & can be my strength even when I have none & that He would thus also provide the strength I needed if I gave up sleep on purpose to honor Him with a regular morning quiet time…it’s been a trying year for sure.
God Proves Himself… I Doubt Him in a New Way… My Weak Faith
And now, this. Ugh. I feel like the Israelites going through the wilderness… hardship at every turn, yet God always provides & leads & proves Himself mighty, strong, worthy, & more than sufficient—He provided their food, water, made sure their clothing never wore out & their feet never swelled on their long journey (Deuteronomy 8:4; Psalm 78:20-25). That’s pretty crazy! PLUS, the grand rescue from Egyptian enslavement! And yet… they continuously grumbled against God versus remembering to GO TO GOD.
That’s me. Grumbling. Always grumbling…. The, “not agains” are too many to count.
You would think I would sit back & say, “After all that? Nah, I have nothing to worry about. God will take care of it somehow like He always does… I just need to turn to Him as my help & sufficiency!” But, no… I grumble with each new struggle.
Idols Aren’t Always So Obvious
I have been working through a daily devotional on food freedom, learning to turn to God versus anything else we may turn to… including food.
Well, for me, it’s mainly the eating out. “I’m bored… let’s eat out.” “I had a bad day… let’s eat out.” “I feel angsty & numb & want to feel SOMETHING… let’s eat out.”
Sensing a pattern with me here? An idol maybe? Yep.
It’s not just the eating out temptation as my go-to fix-all… it’s the tv binging some days, & the video scrolling for hours on my phone, or the gaming that starts as an hour & ends with the sun setting. These things have become almost synonymous with NECESSITY versus an option.
My Coping Mechanisms have become my idols–what I turn to instead of God as my help.
I’ve Come a Long Way, But There’s Still More Growing to Do…
You see, as you probably or may know, in my struggle with depression(not depressive thoughts, but the chemical imbalance in my brain that sometimes coats me in oppressive brain fog, numbing over, losing any care for anything because I just feel so full of NUMB in my brain that it’s sometimes physically tiring to try to get myself to care about something),I have come so far from where I once was.
And I thought I was doing pretty well.
I have learned that there’s a distinction between 1. the cause(chemical imbalance), 2. symptoms(brain fog, lack of motivation, tired, checked out), 3. consequences(feeling like every easy thing is way harder than it should be & noticing others’ responses to it), 4. Satan exploiting all of the above: “you’re a waste of space, you annoy everyone, you’re a burden, etc.” & 5. MY CHOICE in how to respond to all of the above: Trust God despite it staying hard, determining to set my focus on Him no matter how hard it may get… or spiral because Satan sounds so convincing.(Read more about these 5 distinctions in a previous blog post: “Understanding Depression with Discernment.”)
But I still have a long way to go… obviously.
What Exactly am I Afraid Of?
But, back to the devotional I mentioned earlier. She made a point about FEAR being a major motivator for overeating or eating poorly.
Her point was about feeling unworthy compared with others or something like that, but God has already worked me through the difference between my worth/value/beauty being completely separate from my HEALTH & caring for the one body God has made for & given to me. (Read more about that journey in a previous post: “Your Weight Does Not Determine Your Worth.”)
BUT… the fear thing stood out to me. I didn’t know why because that seemed a drastic thing to claim when I don’t consciously feel afraid of anything specific… especially not my worth being in question because of poor health.
So, I asked God to help me understand that. And as I continued the devotional, it all came to clarity… she asked me, as the reader, to list things that make me feel tense or afraid & as a counter to each, to list THE PEACE OF GOD as greater than anything I could fear.
And my response? My depression symptoms. The angst. The bored restlessness that seems surprisingly consuming at times. The empty numbness that sometimes envelops my brain. The screaming in my head to satiate, to run to comfort, to feel SOMETHING other than that. To hide. To run. To AVOID it.
Hiding My Fears Behind Coping Mechanisms
I thought my coping mechanisms were smart.I thought I was protecting myself. But in that great, strong security fence I had been building around myself, I realized it had inadvertently become my own prison… one of my own making… a sense of “go to those coping mechanisms, OR ELSE.”
I realized I had been hiding my fears behind coping mechanisms all along. That without them, I felt vulnerable… overwhelmed… treading water… my face tingling with anxiety… a weight on my shoulders & around my ankles that threaten to slowly drag me down to despair.
I thought I was doing so well, but I had placed my hope in “happy highs” that can never actually solve the problem or give me any real victory or hope….
The days I lose. The ambition that drowns in my avoidance of feeling all of the above. The empty hours. The wasted fulfillment. The perpetuating emptiness of time passed that can’t be regained. The looming threat.
Facing the Truth… That I Need Someone Greater Than My Coping Mechanisms
So, last night was rough. I was forced to face the truth… that my solution had imprisoned me.
I realized I didn’t know how to go to God in this. I didn’t know how to do anything but run, hide, & stuff. I didn’t know how to face it & overcome it. My coping mechanisms weren’t fixing the problem… they were helping me pretend I was AVOIDING it.
I realized that I didn’t actually trust God’s peace to be enough for me in this particular circumstance.My desperate rush to cover, hide, stuff, run, & avoid proved that.
And I’m afraid. I’m afraid of not running… of standing facing it… of being overcome by it if I don’t run. I’m afraid of losing to it.
I’m afraid God won’t be enough for me in it.
After ALL He has brought me through & ALL His faithfulness He has DEMONSTRATED to me… & I am here doubting… just like the Israelites.
It Took Me 3 Days…
Our sermon at church this week was “How to Lose Your Spiritual Way in 40 Days,” based on the Israelites going quickly from “whatever God says, we will do!!!” faith (Exodus 24:3; Exodus 24:18)immediately to drunken orgies & worshipping a golden calf because Moses went on the mountain & didn’t come back right away (Exodus 32). After ALL God had JUST brought them through miraculously & more than sufficiently (Exodus 15)! WHAT?!?!?
And here I am. Doubting God, too. After ALL He has brought me through even just this past year.
A Prayer of Surrender to Trust God… Even in This
“God, please forgive me. My coping mechanisms have clearly become a stronghold in me. I hold onto them. Satan uses them to convince me I need them more than I need You… or instead of You… that they will serve me better. And I have unknowingly bought into it hook, line, & sinker. Please forgive me! It just feels too much. I hate falling prey to my symptoms… of feeling vulnerable to them… of facing them versus running.I’m too scared. I can’t do it. Help me. Please forgive me. Help my unbelief. You are enough. You are ALWAYS enough. And You’re always faithful… & gentle… & kind… & You gave everything for me, through Jesus, when I didn’t & don’t deserve it. How can I doubt Your sufficiency & willingness here? You’ve proven Yourself. You are worthy of praise, God! Help me set down these chains. Take down my security fence. Become my refuge… my fortitude. Help me to rest in You as sufficient & nothing else. NOTHING ELSE. Help me re-write fulfilling coping mechanisms, with You at its center, clinging to You as my Hope, Guide, Counselor, Faithful Friend, Strength, & Sufficiency! You ARE Enough. I believe, Lord, Help my unbelief. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”
Is there anything you’re running to instead of to God? What is your personal stronghold that you feel you NEED in place of God’s peace?Where do you feel God’s peace won’t be sufficient for you?
Shine HOPE by going to Him in ALL things. ALL THINGS. His peace… GOD’s peace… is sufficient!
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)
This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world!Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Mabel & Walter the Bunnies (Vietnam)
LIMITED EDITION – while supplies last! Cuddly, soft, and lovable, Mabel the Bunny is adorable, mini, fair-trade fun with her cute pink flower and carrot accessory. Each bunny comes with an adorable carrot that is not attached to the bunny making it perfect for creative play! Artisans in Vietnam hand crochet each bunny with soft cotton-blend yarn and neutral cream, black, and pink colors that make this stuffed animal the perfect gift for any occasion or decor. Each huggable bunny is hand stuffed by visually impaired women in areas of extreme poverty.
Have you met Mabel’s best friend, Walter the Bunny? They make quite the pair!
***Every purchase of Walter or Mabel the Bunny provides fair-trade jobs for local women and villagers who are overcoming disabilities, homelessness, and extreme poverty in Vietnam.***
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!