When You Feel Unseen

Do you ever feel invisible? Like your hurts are just too much for others? Like you’re too much for others?

I definitely feel that way sometimes.

But, if I’m honest, I think everyone probably feels that way to some degree, whether they are able to acknowledge or articulate that or not. Some people clam up, avoid others when they’re struggling. Some cry a lot. Some seem clingy & needy. We all handle it a bit differently, but deep down, we understand our hard is a burden, which can make US feel like a burden.

Sometimes I Feel Like Others See Me as a Burden

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I have big emotions. It’s something that has been shamed quite a bit in my lifetime… something I often feel a lot of shame about, as a result.

I have seen the poorly concealed rolled eyes, the distancing from me, have heard the “so much drama” comments about me. It hurts, to be honest.

Nobody likes to feel shamed when they’re already feeling weak & vulnerable. They want to be embraced & loved just where they are, as they are… without having to mask or conceal the unsightly parts of their heart.

At least, that’s what I want.

Stay

And when I am facing a ton of hard emotions, the LAST thing I want is to feel as if everyone I love & trust seem to just begin to slowly pull away from me.

I want them to pull me in closer. Bear hug me. Tell me they still love me, even when I’m not at my best. Even when I feel I have so very little to offer them. That just me is enough.

It’s not something I really experience much. I more often than not feel invisible all of a sudden.

In My Poetry Journaling, I Can “Ugly Cry”

Besides crying alone & gripping the covers up to my chin to feel safe & secure… besides gripping (or chucking) my stress ball to help me squeeze out some of the tension I feel overwhelmed by… besides praying for help… I write about it. Little poems where I let out my darkest, ugliest swirling thoughts… where I allow them to be there & allow myself to be real about their existence, so I can call it out & pray about it as it really is… not just the prettied-up version God doesn’t need because He knows all anyway.

I write about longing for the perfection of heaven, the lack of tears, the lack of pain. I even sometimes write about wishing I could die so I wouldn’t have to ever feel any pain again. I write about longing to be in the arms of God, to feel safe & whole & wholly loved. I get real with God about where I’m at, letting myself trust that even if my reality scares people away or makes me seem like the family burden, I am never a burden to God.

God Wraps His Sufficient, Gracious, Merciful, Faithful, Long-Suffering Arms Around Me

He is big enough for me. He can handle it. He doesn’t need the cliff notes, He takes it all. I can full on ugly cry with Him. He can handle the ugly, the “drama”, the not-prettied-up version of me. He takes me as is. He loves me as is. He is sufficient for me as is.

I don’t have to mask for Him. I don’t have to plaster on a smile for Him. I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to pretend my faith is bigger than it is for Him. I don’t have to will-power my way through anything with Him. I don’t have to be okay all the time for Him. I don’t have to make myself seem worthy or appealing enough to want to spend time with me, to counter how much of a burden I feel I can be. I don’t have to try to advocate for why I’m worth keeping around. I can just BE with Him. Just me.

I can collapse in His figurative arms. Raw, hurting, & empty. I can come with nothing at all to offer Him. I can be frail & weak & ugly crying with snot all over my face. I can be as much of a burden as is humanly possible & be no burden at all to Him. I can handle everything terribly, fall apart, have no answers, get everything wrong… & yet He Is Sufficient. He is merciful. He is patient. He is faithful. He will NOT leave me nor can He love me any less. I can have nothing & He will still bring me His everything.

I love that so much.

Love Like Jesus… Even When It Is Really, REALLY Uncomfortable… Hug & PRAY with Them

Do I really, really wish more people loved others the way He loves us? To feel a tangible love & friendship where I don’t always feel like I have to convince them I’m not too much? Where I don’t feel I have to muster up cliff notes that won’t bore them or scare them or make them uncomfortable? A love that is present & warm & caring, even when it doesn’t benefit them? Of course I do. That’s why God calls us to love other people that way.

To comfort the faint-hearted, not to sing when others are broken & hurting, to mourn with those who mourn….

Not avoid. Not fix. Not quote platitudes. Just presence… just an attitude that says, “even when you’re not all together, I love you & I’m not going anywhere.”

Do You Ever Feel Invisible?

Can we be more of that to each other? Allow each other not to always have it together or have all the answers or always respond in the perfect way to all of life at all times? To have big emotions we don’t know what to do with? To be human…?

Not excusing sin, not supporting strongholds… but also learning compassion, recognizing weakness is human, bearing with one another in love, as God calls us to.

Can we take the time to SEE each other, really see them… even when they may be at their worst & have nothing to offer the friendship?

Can we love more like God loves us?

How Can You Love Others the Way You Wish to be Loved?

Do you ever feel invisible?

What would help you in it? How can you love someone else the way it would help you?

How can you be present… even when you may not get anything from it? Even if it feels burdensome to you. How can you love them anyway? As Christ loves us?

What helps me? When people still invite me, even when I’m low energy & not much of a contribution to conversation/fun. When people genuinely want to know how I am & pray WITH me through it. A long hug–you know, when it gets to that fine line between “I’ve got you, no matter what,” & borderline completely awkwardly long? Like that. When people remind me of truth, but also remind me that even in my weakness, God never gives up on me. When people are willing to be a sounding board… getting to talk about what makes my heart ache oftentimes takes the power away from whatever is plaguing me, so a listening ear does wonders.

Shine HOPE by seeking to really see people in their hurting & let them feel seen. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Love the way you would love to be loved, even when you don’t really understand their hurt…. You don’t have to understand why they’re hurting so much in order to love them so much. Remember that. God doesn’t ask us to justify why we’re hurting, He just comforts & offers His sufficient, faithful love… let’s do that.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Scarlet Cluster Studs (INDIA)

Artisans in India are earning a fair and dignified wage as they handcraft these elegant and festive Scarlet Cluster Studs. Each gold-framed earring features a cluster of four scarlet-colored gems in a gold-tone setting, creating a beautiful fair-trade fashion statement. Every pair of Scarlet Cluster Studs create necessary jobs to end poverty cycles and keep families out of the slums of India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

God Is Patient, God Is Kind…

God is so incredibly patient. Do you believe that? Have you seen that in your own life? Because I have.

Today, I am reminded of the Israelites in the wilderness. They are so easy to pick on until you realize how accurate a reflection of us they oftentimes are.

They complained A LOT.

They had spent SO LONG crying out to God for help. God heard their cries & led Moses to lead them to their rescue & escape from years of being the slave labor of the Pharoah. But nothing was ever good enough for them.

God Always Has a Plan…. When Chaos Seems to be Winning… God Is Working

It had started out as an offering from a king who respected Joseph (remember him?) (Genesis 47) but when that king died & it was now years & years later, the Israelites had multiplied so much that the new king in power was thinking to himself, “they could overtake us, so let’s just squash that right now & make them our slaves & oppress them… oh, & kill all their baby sons.” (Exodus 1)

But God had a plan.

So God led Moses (Exodus 3), did miracles (Exodus 7-11), wowed literally everyone, & after showing that He ALONE was God Almighty, He got His people FREE.

But then, it didn’t stop there. He made sure their clothes never wore out & their shoes stayed good (Deuteronomy 29:5) … And God led them with a pillar of cloud by day & of fire by night for light (Exodus 13:21). He parted the Red Sea (Exodus 14:21). He provided them with FOOD they didn’t have to farm or buy (Exodus 16). He had water gush from hit rocks to provide water where there was none (Exodus 17).

God HAD them. He cared for them & protected them & provided for them & FREED them... against ALL ODDS!

Instead of Complaining, Have You Tried Praying?

And yet it seems that every single chapter detailing this journey was met with a NEW COMPLAINT AGAINST GOD.

But you know what the absolute wildest part of it is? I am not entirely convinced that God would even withhold what they wanted if they had just believed in Him enough to ASK Him.

Grumbling at every turn. Lusting after the few comforts they had had before, in captivity. Lusting after the known & fearing the unknown. Lusting after comforts over FREEDOM.

It really just sounds DUMB.

Until I realize I do the same thing.

Forever a Work-in-Progress… & Thank God (really, THANK Him) That He NEVER Gives Up on Us

I try to self-solve & self-soothe my way through hard stuff. I avoid it even sometimes. I feel frustrated & overwhelmed & despairing.

And eventually, God gives me a gentle nudge reminder that “oh yeah… God.”

So dumb.

Now, please realize I have definitely grown a lot in the past years with this… but I definitely still have some growing left to do.

Our Complaining Shows We Really Don’t Trust Him

I also see a consistent thread that the reason God was so upset about the complaining was that it showed that the people didn’t believe in Him.

I mean, can you blame Him? I mean, leave out the fact that He literally made us AND the world we live in (without our help, at that… & out of nothing but His WORD) … leave that very important part of the equation out & JUST consider EVERYTHING He did supernaturally to make sure you were set free & were free indeed. Miraculous! Did they not remember?

Instead of complaining & grumbling, they could have taken a moment to consider ALL God had done for them ALREADY & gone TO HIM with their struggles!

Believe that if He did all that for you… He is worth believing & ASKING…. Not complaining.

How Much Do I Lose Out on Because I Don’t Believe He Can Do More Than I Can?

How much do I miss out on because I don’t bother to consider believing in Him over myself or my circumstances or my resources or my time or my hurts?

Lack satisfaction? Ask Him to teach you contentment.

Lack resources? Ask Him to provide.

Lack time for something? Ask Him for timing.

Lack courage or wisdom? Ask for it.

Lack energy? Ask Him for a way forward.

Don’t resort to trusting yourself, your circumstances, or your hurts to guide you.

Don’t resort to grumbling & complaining about your life.

ASK HIM. Turn to Him. Trust Him. Believe in Him.

God Is GOD & You Are NOT

He can do far more than you’re capable of doing. Do you trust that? … And ACT on it by turning to Him in everything?

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)

How do you know what to ask for, though? By reading your Bible & praying for wisdom on that very thing.

“Because You Can’t” Is Not a Valid Excuse… Because You Know God CAN

And I think that’s where some lose interest, because complaining feels like we’ve acknowledged that there is a problem that we can’t fix, so we’re free to avoid it & live how we see fit. As if we’re absolved from accountability because it’s “not our fault.”

But God can. We know God can. But we have to trust God can & ASK Him. And God isn’t at all fooled at the fact that our complaining just seems a more comfortable solution… a copout.

Asking seems like more work. Asking is admitting we can’t & need help. Asking is letting someone else be in charge. Asking brings accountability. Asking may require work on our part that we’re intimidated about.

Don’t Stay Stuck… PRAY to the God Who CAN

But don’t stay there. Don’t stay stuck. Trust God knows what He’s doing AND wants a life that is best for you, not just mediocre or “surviving.”

“The thief [Satan] does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

It doesn’t mean the hard will stop, but it does mean He’ll be your enough in the hard.

So ASK HIM.

Shine HOPE by daring to ask the God Who made you & gave His all for you… rather than just copping out with complaints that anger Him because they reveal a lack of trust.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Gingerbread Village Set (INDIA)

HOLIDAY EDITION – While supplies last! Shop to support families in areas of extreme poverty in India! Display the darling Gingerbread Village Set along with all your favorite holiday decor! This set of three unique, hand-painted mango wood houses will create a beautifully cozy feel when placed on your mantel or in a tablescape display. Each house is eco-friendly and made from fast-growing mango wood, a sustainable byproduct of India’s mango fruit industry. Each house features unique natural wood grains and hand-painted gorgeous designs.

***Purchase this beautifully unique & handcrafted set, using the “Shop Here” link below, to empower women in India out of poverty, by providing them with safe, reliable work environments!***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

I had my blog all typed up. Ready to copy/paste. Ready to edit.

But as I sat here, pasted text on my blog editor site… it just felt off. Like I couldn’t get myself to continue with it. Not in a defiant or lazy way, but like a brick wall was preventing me from continuing.

So, now I have 1.5 hours left before I publish & my page is erased & I am writing this instead.

God knows what I need more than I do. He knows what’s on my heart better than I do. He sees the depth of my subconscious & knows all of its triggers & intricacies better than I understand it myself.

I can trust Him with my deepest fears, deepest hurts, deepest longings, deepest failures, deepest insecurities… ugliest of ugly cries.

I don’t have to prove anything to Him. I don’t have to try to make Him like me or want to spend time with me. I don’t have to convince Him to love me.

He just does.

How often I try to pretty up my emotions or wrong thinking for Him, as if He doesn’t already know.

The psalmists inspire me with their rawness. I can be like that with God. He can handle it.

He doesn’t want my cliff notes. He wants all of me… the good, the bad, & the ugly.

How beautiful a truth that is to me.

I don’t have to ever pretend I’m better than I am. I don’t have to project strength or assurance.

I can be scared. I can be unsure. I can doubt. I can wonder. He is patient with it all. He can handle it all.

He is patient & kind. He is gentle. He is enduring in His love for me. Faithful when I flee. Forgiving when I trust His blessings over Him as my blessings-Giver.

I can show my imperfections & weaknesses. I can feel worthless & hopeless. He stands steady & sure. Unwavering. Ready to welcome me home no matter how far I stray.

What a wonderful Father indeed. He will listen for hours & not tune me out. He will take me at my worst & respond with gentle kindness. He is what I lack & supplies generously upon request.

He doesn’t hold back. He doesn’t guilt me or shame me or push me away.

He loves with an enduring, faithful love. A love laced with grace, grace, by definition being undeserved, above & beyond even. His mercies are new every morning. He forgives upon forgives upon forgives.

How faithful. How true. How sure. How steady. How eternal. How infinite He is.

I am always safe & always loved when I come to the arms of Jesus.

Those same arms are waiting to welcome you, too.

And that’s all I have to say today. Turn to Him. He’s what you need. Nothing else will satisfy like the unfailing love of the God Who made you… the steady unchangeable God, shown so beautifully, so completely, so dramatically through the sacrifice of His one & only Son, Jesus Christ our LORD.

I don’t know where you’re at. I can’t see you. I can’t know your thoughts or your fears or what you mask to show strength to the world because you feel the world needs to see you strong.

God doesn’t care about pretense. He doesn’t need a show. He loves you. Just you. Right now. Where you’re at. Whatever that looks like.

He won’t ever stop pursuing you. He won’t ever give up on you.

I know. I’ve seen it. 36 years (as a Christian) full of failures & shortcomings & lessons learned & humbling moments & He has never once left me. He pursues you. He never gives up on you. Even at your ugliest, very worst version of yourself. The part of you you’re ashamed of. He sees it. And He loves you.

He wants to heal those parts of you. He wants to break you free from their chains. He wants you to feel hope swell up in you & overflow across everything that resides in the deepest, darkest depths of your heart.

Every night, I thank God audibly for the same thing. Every night. “Thank You Lord, that You never give up on us.”

He will never give up on you. He is faithful even if you’re not.

He asked Jesus to die for every wrong bit of you, even down to the morning grumpies to the very worst of you. Jesus let them beat Him & torment Him & lie about Him & spit on Him & KILL HIM because HE LOVES YOU THAT MUCH. Nothing you can do can ever stop that love He has for you!

NOTHING.

Repent. Turn to Him. Trust on Him. Lay it all down at His feet & receive His forgiveness. Because He offers it free of charge. His love COMPELS Him to.

Run into the arms of Jesus. He’s waiting for you. And He always will be. And nothing you do can ever change that.

“Thank You, LORD, that You never give up on us.”

You Don’t Need to Feel Ashamed for Big Emotions

I was talking to a friend in the past months about her struggle through some very strong, painful emotions. Like many of us, she felt guilty for feeling that way, as if it made her seem to not be trusting God enough with it.

That’s how I grew up believing, too. That if I am having very strong negative emotions, it was shameful because it meant I wasn’t trusting God enough.

But let me tell you something that will hopefully loosen those chains for you a little bit if you also struggle with that type of shame—emotions are not sin… they’re simply indicators.

Emotions on Full Display Throughout the Bible

I would like to encourage you to, as you read through the Bible in the coming months, look out for expressions of emotions… how they’re expressed, what comes from them, prayers prayed through them, how God responds to them, etc. You will slowly release any idea of feeling ashamed for feeling.

Emotions are very clearly & strongly expressed throughout the entire Bible!

Now, just as having hundreds of wives & concubines, as many kings did (including kings whom God praised for their faith), just because it’s mentioned IN the Bible does not mean it is automatically not sinful.

And that is why we must look at how God RESPONDS to emotions in the Bible. This is why I strongly encourage you to turn your attention to that as you read in the coming months, so you can begin to see patterns emerge in looking at how God feels about our feelings.

Joy IN the Hurts/Distresses?

As someone who struggles with depression, sometimes pretty severely in certain seasons of my life, I can tell you right now how so many of the Psalms, as well as the “thorn in the side” passage (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) become so clear. This understanding that I can have such intensely painful feelings, not always even see any real, justifiable cause for them (which only makes it more painful & embarrassing), & still feel joy AND intense pain simultaneously. One does not always erase the other.

And that right there is what I think so many Christians misunderstand about having joy in every season, trusting the Lord… as if it means you should therefore not feel pain because you should feel joy.

No. Just as Paul says, “in needs… in distresses,” he doesn’t say the distress is therefore now ABSENT because he now sees the bigger picture of being a testimony for God’s strength in his weaknesses & pains… he says IN IT.

That was me, going through my very dark, very painful seasons. The sun didn’t come out & shine all my sad hurting away because I trusted God in it… the pain very much remained & tormented me, & yet I had this hope inside of me, this “come what may, I know You have a plan, God… I know You have me… I know You won’t waste a single ounce of this pain I feel right now.” A peace, A contentment. A knowing. An assurance. A HOPE.

A joy.

Don’t Suffer in Silence Trying to Look “Strong for God”

So often I see Christians who are very obviously suffering trying to plaster on a smile for all the world around them to see, afraid to be a bad witness for Christ, afraid it will appear that they must not trust Him “enough.” STOP!

The Bible does NOT shy away from pain. It is clear about it. It talks about it. And it shows that God is sovereign, sufficient, & sure through it. Compassionate, gentle, kind even.

Honey, if you are plastering “I’M OKAY” on your face to prove to others how good your God is… stop it.

All the world sees then is you pretending to be strong. It doesn’t show HIM to be strong.

Being a testimony to His strength means being real about your weaknesses. BOASTING even in them. So that others may clearly see that you don’t have all the answers, you’re not strong, you’re not able… but HE IS.

Big Emotions Don’t EQUAL Sin, But They Are Also No Excuse for Sin

Big emotions are not an excuse to wallow, to hide away, withdraw, hold bitterness, lash out, hurt others, be rude, talk about someone behind their back, refuse kindness to others who are undeserving such as yourself. Big emotions are not an okay to sin.

Big emotions are not sin, but they’re also not an excuse for sin.

They’re just indicators. So please stop beating yourself up over them. Stop beating OTHER people up for them. And check yourself if you’re using emotions as your “get out of jail free card” for wrong behavior or bad attitudes that displease & dishonor God. You need to yield them to God for help if you are struggling with this.

God Sees Me & God Cares

Sometimes, when I am flooded by big, hard emotions, whether someone said a careless hurtful thing, it’s that time of the month, something awful happens, or my depression is just kicking my butt… whenever I feel like whimpering, “Can I please just go to heaven now, God? I don’t want to feel this hurt anymore,” I picture God as so big & mighty that He fills a whole 2-story open room, & small little me (in comparison) crawls up into the crook of His elbow & curls up there, nestled in His strong arms. Safe. Protected. Loved.

I stop to remember that He is bigger than me. Stronger. Powerful. Wise. Good. Compassionate. Kind. Loving. He has a plan. He holds me. He hears my cries. He knows my heart. He loves me. He is sufficient in all things. I can trust Him even when everything is hard & everything hurts.

Even then… I can trust Him. And so can you.

How to Please God & Have Big Emotions

Stop trying to be “strong” for God. He is more than capable for the BOTH of you.

Shine HOPE by coming to God, crying out to Him in those big emotions, trusting He sees you, has you, & has a plan in it… turning to Him & crying out to Him as your help in & through it, & by shaking off the shame for those indicators that ought to just draw you right back into His very capable & loving arms. Having joy, even in still feeling very much the hurts of the storm you are in, because He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 7 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

September 2025 Hope Mail

FOR A LIMITED TIME – Only available during the month of September! Enjoy free shipping and 10% off your Hope Mail package when you subscribe every month!     

Your purchase of September Hope Mail provides one day of school for a girl in an area of extreme poverty.   

Featured in this month’s Hope Mail are the Golden Canopy Earrings, stunning ebony brown and gold earrings in the shape of a leaf. These earrings are crafted using remnant leather, making them eco-friendly as well. Your purchase creates dignified jobs for women in areas of extreme poverty in India.      

***Purchase this month’s Hope Mail, using the “Shop Here” link below, to create safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India where vulnerable women are often exploited by sweatshops and human traffickers.***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

Depressed? Depression? What’s the Difference?

I see these two getting mixed up quite a lot, whether it’s in psychology circles or just discussions about it. Even in a recent Bible study book I was reading seemed to equate the two versus understanding their differences. I understand the intent, but it’s important to understand the distinction, so let’s get into it.

To start us off, I highly recommend you first read my previous post about “Understanding Depression with Discernment,” where I break this down in even more detail & offer some useful insight God has given me in my many years of struggling with depression while being a Christian & seeking God for wisdom & answers through those very difficult many years

The 5 Distinguishable Parts of Depression

The blog post I mentioned above helps distinguish between 5 parts of struggling with depression:

1. The Cause (chemical imbalance, etc.)
2. The Symptoms (numb, checked out, bleh, etc.)
3. The Consequences of Symptoms (easy jobs seem harder, you feel weaker/less capable, others may judge you, etc.)
4. How Satan Exploits Our Weakness (suicidal thoughts, questioning our value/worth, feeling beat down & worthless & a burden to family/friends)
5. Our Choice (Trust Satan’s VERY convincing LIES, or CLING TO TRUTH through prayer & God’s Word)

Read the post if you struggle–it was a life-changing & quite freeing realization for me. I hope it is the same for you.

One Doesn’t Automatically Include the Other

But, today, I want to hone in more on the huge difference between feeling DEPRESSED & having DEPRESSION.

The 2 don’t even have to coexist. You can possibly not have depression but be going through something REALLY hard that doesn’t let up & definitely feel very DEPRESSED. But you can also feel pretty okay & have DEPRESSION.

So, let’s talk about it. Because the more we talk about it, the more we can learn to remove the chains of “I have ______________, therefore, I AM _____________,” & learn some freedom through the clouds.

Depression

First, there’s depression. Having depression is something out of your control in some respects, although you CAN learn to help your brain out a bit. It’s not an attitude or bitterness or anything like that. There have been seasons where I felt I could not stop crying, but when I would try to seek out WHY, I found no logical reason. I was just SAD for no reason. It can be maddening. Like a weightiness pressing on me without a cause.

Now, I say that it’s out of your control “in some respects,” because there are things you can do to help your brain out.

Honoring God means stewarding well His blessings & gifts, including our bodies.

How Can We Help Our Brains?

We need to make sure to nourish & fuel it. You wouldn’t put syrup in your car’s gas tank & expect it to run well much longer & our bodies are much like that, but much more forgiving (at least temporarily). Make sure you are checking the nutritious value of your food intake, so your brain has the nourishment it needs to function well.

Drink plenty of water to help flush your body of toxins & keep yourself hydrated.

Make sure you’re getting regular/sound sleep.

Moving your body, even on several walks a week help keep everything in your body running more smoothly.

In some cases, even with stewarding your body well, your brain chemistry is just still out of whack, & so medication may be recommended in some cases. But make sure to try to give your body what it needs before supplementing with meds. All meds have side effects, but treating your body the way it longs to be treated only has good outcomes. Try that first.

THE Ultimate Depression Tip

But, aside from doing your part to keep your body functioning well, helping it out by treating it right, when those symptoms hit, there is an ultimate necessity that will be a make or break for you: PRAYER.

Now, if you rolled your eyes just now… I get it. REALLY get it. But that is because it is so easy to misunderstand prayer. It’s not about special words that do you any good… it’s about considering the WHO you’re talking to that makes a difference. HE can do what you just cannot.

Quick Detour: How Pain CAN Actually HELP Us

I think it’s too easy to skip this part, to think you just need to patch it, fix it, get the uncomfortable OUT. But you know what, in all my years of struggling with this & asking God WHY… “WHY are you letting me suffer?????” His answer both humbled & encouraged me more than I could have ever expected:

It was something like this realization: “You look around & you can see people, even Christians, basically ignoring Me in their day-to-day. They maybe pray before a meal, go to church, some just the “bare minimum.” They don’t think they need Me. But not you… you have never had the “luxury” of believing you could do this life on your own. You have been in a perpetual state of NEED most of your life. And because of it, you have seen Me come through for you & be faithful to you & do for you what others can’t see because they trust themselves over Me. Your faith has grown because you have needed Me so consistently & I have been your enough through every bit of it.”

The need, the lacking, the discomfort, the vulnerability… it is all HARD. But don’t try to run away from hard. Don’t just pop a pill & move on. Use it as your very ever-present reminder of your very real need of HIM as your EVERYTHING & not just when you think you need something.

No Fanfare, But All Power

So, back to the ultimate recommendation: PRAY. Turn to Him. Ask Him to help you where you can’t help yourself. To BE your strength to face your day.

I wake up numb some days. Like everything is through a hazy gray, black & white. Tired. Out of it. Don’t care. Just bleh.

Natural me? Can I fake a cough, put pjs back on, curl under the covers, & skip life today please? (I don’t EVER do this, but the temptation is VERY strong some days, let me tell you.)

But I have learned, that although saying some words to God in my head can sometimes feel like the equivalent of a child thinking they can fly to the moon using a cardboard box because they REALLY want it… basically unrealistic & not enough… it IS enough… because God doesn’t have to SHOW UP with fanfare & blaring trumpets & bright light & filling your room with robes, etc., with sparkling flow coming from His hands as He forms whatever it is you need in that moment or HEAL you in every way possible right there… to show His power to you. No.

His power is quiet. Unassuming. No fanfare whatsoever.

And yet… it works.

I pray. He hears. He helps.

He Helps

My wasted, worthless days, where I am just running at 0% wondering how I am going to even manage to go to work that day, let alone all the chores & responsibilities I have waiting. He helps. He supplies. Every single time.

I pray & I ask God to help be my supply. I ask Him to be my strength when I feel I have none. I ask for encouragement & wisdom, peace & strength. I ask for my next step. I ask for HELP. And He supplies.

Do I do this every day? No. Honestly, some days I give up & get tired of needing to ask for help. I want to be selfish & not need it. I want to be self-sufficient & I get tired of constant NEED. I’m sorry to God for that. For wanting to be my own God. He is SO patient & gentle & faithful with me & I truly don’t deserve it.

The Important Distinction Between Feeling Depressed & Having Depression

Now for the feeling depressed part. It’s actually not synonymous with having depression. You can actually have depression & not spiral into feeling depressed, although you are definitely a lot more susceptible & vulnerable to it…. (*Go back up & read that original recommended post at the start if you want a little more FREEdom on this.)

But, as I admitted, I struggle wanting to surrender my weakness every day. I get worn. I get selfish. I want to be okay without help. I want to not feel so weak anymore.

And yes, deep down, if I am willing to admit how selfish that sounds & then submit that to God for a change of attitude, I can see every time that the weakness is worth seeing how capable God is.

Satan Likes to Beat Us While We’re Down

But there is always that war with the flesh. Always needing to make it die to self, to submit. And that is hard every day. It’s not easy to surrender. And sometimes I have to ask God to even help me to WANT change of attitude. If you know, you know.

Feeling depressed is of the enemy. Satan wants us to give up. He wants us to believe his lies. He wants us to sink into despair. He wants us to demand to be able to count on ourselves vs constantly needing God. He wants us doubting God. Satan wants us in chains, bondage, fear, anxiety, pain, hatred, bitterness. That’s where he wants us.

And when you have depression… it’s true… you’re weaker to it. It feels so easy to believe it. You’re vulnerable, needy even. Others oftentimes don’t get it. Eye rolls are caught in the corner of your eye. Compassion is often lacking. You get misunderstood. You feel like a burden.

Depressed Without Depression

It’s not always bitterness, bad attitude, etc. Sometimes life is just HARD.

Even if you don’t have depression, sometimes life hits you SO HARD out of nowhere. Happy, fun, laughter memories & then BAM sideswiped & your loved one is gone. Or infidelity, cancer, loss of a child, infertility, betrayal, abuse… life on this earth is very very hard sometimes, isn’t it? Sin wreaks havoc wherever it goes.

And it’s hard. So hard. So hard not to just feel the pain wash over you & knock you off your feet, swirling & tossing & trying to come up for air, choking on the hurt in your heart like a lump in your throat.

Sometimes it is sin. Your own sin? Guilt, shame, getting yourself in a mess. Sometimes it’s sin in the form of unresolved bitterness, refusal to forgive, refusal of God’s help, refusal to trust God’s plan or promises.

You don’t have to have depression to be depressed. Life is hard sometimes.

But… God.

God IS ALWAYS Enough

That power I mentioned? The no-fanfare power? The one that seems like “how could it ever?” & yet, does? It’s still there in that, too. God meets us where we are. He doesn’t ask us to pretty up pain before we come to Him IN it.

He can handle it. He can take it.

Sometimes, I have hard days. My depression gets the better of me. I’m not suicidal, but often have days where I find myself asking God if I could have a heart attack maybe so I could just go to heaven so I don’t ever have to feel hurt again. I know that makes some of you uncomfortable to read, but it’s the truth. And the worst part is, I know I have nothing in my life to warrant that. Nothing worthy of wanting to leave for heaven so badly some days. And yet.

God As My Comfort

I sometimes, in the hard, picture God, as best I can from a human mind never having seen Him in all of His splendor & majesty, & I picture Him as a huge giant of a man who fills a room, big & mighty. And I crawl up into the crook of his elbow & nestle in, knowing He has me & won’t ever let me go.

Knowing He’s faithful & kind, gentle & loving. He won’t ever let me go.

And then I thought, but there will be such great demand for this from everyone if this were as He is. But then it dawned on me… God is so infinite in nature, that He could be that for me AND for everyone else INDIVIDUALLY because of how infinite & vast He is.

What We NEED to Remember When We ARE DEPRESSED

In all the hard of life, I think it’s so, SO important to remember what God instructs us in Philippians 4:8 Think on those things. Be INTENTIONAL in it. Life will always have HARD, but it will also always have GOOD, because God is GOOD.

Remember to PRAISE Him… to WORSHIP… to THANK Him. Don’t quote verses about it… DO IT. You will be surprised how often it lifts your soul from the miry muck to peace in remembering an awe for all God is & has done for you. REMEMBER.

Put on the armor OF GOD every day. (Ephesians 6:10-18) Remember the impossible peace He can offer IN the storm. Remember if you trust on Jesus to cover your sins against God by His dying on the cross & rising again… you are SAVED from your sin & NOTHING can take that from you. Remember FAITH… not in the superficial ideal of hope, but faith in what GOD can do where you can’t. Remember God’s Word as TRUTH no matter what you see or feel. Remember to make God-honoring choices, even & especially when you don’t FEEL like it. Remember to PRAY.

(*Read about the armor OF God in more detail on a previous post of mine: “What Good Is the Armor of God? (Part 1/2” & “What Good Is the Armor of God? (Part 2/2)”)

If you can’t fight anymore, I get you. In your heart, when you have no strength to pray, close your eyes & picture crawling up into the nook of His arms, letting Him hold you in perfect peace despite the world. Let Him be for you what you can’t for yourself.

It is okay to not be okay. But don’t let the enemy win… let God.

Shine HOPE by calling out to God & trusting He hears you. He sees you. He loves you.

***Read these other past posts about Depression: “Depression & Me”; “Depression: the Devil’s Playground”; “The Sin Problem That Lurks in Depression & Struggles”; “Pivot, Pivot! #3-The Dungeon of Depression-The Journey of Truth”; “Sometimes God Doesn’t Take the Pain Away.” ***

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 6.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Awakening Necklace (INDIA)

Create safe jobs for women in India when you shop the Awakening Necklace. The intricate design of this necklace makes it uniquely customizable, featuring its twisted burgundy and gold cord with a gold-tone pendant charm and adjustable golden bead for easy wearing. This necklace is easy to pull over your head and adjust to your perfect length.

***Every purchase, using the “Shop Here” link below, creates safe jobs with fair wages in areas of extreme poverty in India.***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

God Can Heal What Can’t Be Healed

Okay, this one’s personal. This one isn’t a very popular topic to be openly discussed, but again, if the church isn’t talking about it, then all we can hear is the world’s opinion, & seeing how God says that our hearts are “desperately wicked” & “deceitful above all things,” well, we probably shouldn’t be turning to the world around us for truth on this subject. (Jeremiah 17:9)

When I was [single digit] years old, I was flipping through our 8-channel tv (yes, I am that old), & I saw a woman with no clothes on a man with no clothes. Showed too much (not like porn, but definitely much too much for a chance sighting through simple channel flipping by a child.)

That singular moment bore itself into my brain a proclivity toward lust. Fantasizing. (With the amount of raunchy &/or suggestive ads that come up when playing a kid game app on my phone, I worry about these next generations & the addictions that will stem from it, completely unbeknownst to their parents.)

I Felt the Need to be “Wantable”

Couple that with the fact that I felt like the fattest, most unappealing girl in any given friend circle, leading to me using flirting & innuendos to gain affection & admiration from my peers at school.

Desperate, hormone-charged, insecure, ill-judgment-ridden me thought I had to be what guys wanted in order to be wantable or likeable. And I wanted to be wantable & likeable.

I didn’t always make the best decisions. But boy did I have loopholes “figured out” in my mind to “justify” them, because the big offender was sex of any kind & well, I was “just using words.”

[God wasn’t fooled.]

A Friend Hurt Me

And eventually, I faced sexual assault. I wasn’t raped, but I was touched inappropriately without consent repeatedly & on multiple occasions, & some by close male friends. I had made them believe that’s the type of girl I was—not that that gives them any right remotely, but I did make them think I was okay with it. I very much was not, but was too afraid to seem “prude” or like I was making too big a deal of “nothing“ to speak up.

It made me feel cheap, used, disposable. It made me feel I had no worth or value, just seen as an object for desire… to be used… & not much more. It left me feeling an ick no length of shower could wash away.

We’re Often Treated As Disposable… Not Treasured

This is no new thing for many, MANY females. (I once had a guy ask to touch me somewhere inappropriate within MINUTES of being introduced to me by a friend, “because he liked them.” (ew) And that was one of MANY countless harassing/uncomfortable situations I have experienced, even by strangers, throughout my lifetime.

Tv shows, music, movies, all have examples of women depicted as sexual objects, comments from men/boys in them being centered on how hot they are or whether they would want them based on how hot they are, or the opposite, how much they would be grossed out if she didn’t “look hot.”

Women are used to being portrayed as the busty eye candy ogled & talked to/about suggestively throughout a movie, music video, show, etc., not holding much additional value to the plot.

Sexual Assault/Harassment Causes Heart Scars That God Can Heal

Assault is common. More common than you think. Some is just minimalized as “just joking around,” but it’s not funny. In my travels abroad, even, I have witnessed grown men ogling nude magazines shamelessly in the middle of a convenience store aisle, & even countrywide laws where no phones are able to have a feature where you can turn off the sound for taking a picture so as to prevent men taking pictures up skirts on the train. It’s nothing new—there are forms of the exploitation of women all over the world.

Even in dating, the pressure to have sex is almost unquestioned these days by youth, as if it’s just EXPECTED. As if our dating value is dependent on offering our BODIES once again!

No wonder there is so much damage in this area! No wonder there is distrust, closed off-ness, lack of vulnerability, distance, turning to erotica, fantasizing, or even porn. Women are widely taught that men are not safe spaces when it comes to sexuality.

We Bring the Damage Done with Us

Then, we get married. And all that baggage gets dumped on our husband. And he doesn’t get why he has to pay the price for what he didn’t do to you.

But he does. The fear gut reaction doesn’t just go away because you’re married now.

The ick of giving in to being ogled or heckled or touched or talked about inappropriately because you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it or cause a scene… it sticks with you.

Because I was assaulted by someone I cared a lot about, multiple times before my other friend coached me & pushed me to have the courage to stop it… I was subconsciously terrified of someone desiring me, because last time it had happened, it made someone who I cared about choose getting what he wanted from me above caring for my wellbeing... choose hurting me over protecting me–because of his desire for me.

And it wasn’t fair to my husband. He never hurt me.

When You Have Trouble Believing God Knows What He’s Talking About–Sexual Vulnerability/Intimacy After Hurt

But you read how God talks about marriage & sexual intimacy & the safety & security there… the freedom to love your spouse wholly & freely & to be loved back just the same way… & it just seems like a joke, a pipe dream… an impossibility… a nice thought… a non-reality. But God DESIGNED sex. And He set rules for it to protect it–if we but trust Him.

So, after all of those distorted views on sexual intimacy through fantasizing, that only became worse after I was assaulted because then I was in control & no one else… plus being degraded by strangers & friends alike throughout my lifetime… plus seeing how pretty much all media portrayed desire/worth/value through how hot you were (aka your value equaling mainly sex appeal)….

Well, how am I supposed to believe God knows what He’s talking about? That HIS design WORKS?

Sin Robs Freedom & Joys

The fear of being vulnerable was so intense the first 5 or so years of marriage. It was so hard to switch from protect-myself mode to intimacy with another person. I still struggle on occasion.

I so often relied on fantasies vs my husband because it felt safer than being vulnerable. I used to go into fight or flight in intimate situations & eventually learned to excuse myself to the restroom so I could reset, pray, & re-coach my brain by telling it this was different… this wasn’t THAT.

How was I supposed to trust HIS design, when literally everything in my world SCREAMED the opposite?

You see sitcoms where the running joke is implied that after marriage, sex just doesn’t happen anymore. And I think part of that is a whole lot of what I’ve been talking about. Plus, the fact that for women, it’s usually us feeling SAFE & CARED FOR & absolutely CHERISHED that gets us in the mood really, & when life is crazy & busy & distractions are ABOUNDING, it’s really hard for a woman to settle into that head space & trust in being vulnerable.

Though It Seems Easier to Trust Our Own Solutions… Trust Instead That God Can Heal What’s Broken & Renew That Sense of Safe Space to be Vulnerable Again

It just seems easier to rely on steamy novels for some women, fantasizing, or even porn (let’s stop pretending men are the only ones who struggle with THAT temptation). Even if it’s “just” steamy novels, don’t pretend that’s any better either (as someone once wisely put it to me—those novels being made available to us means someone had to write it—so reading it encourages those people to keep fantasizing up sexual stories).

But all that just leaves us with is further disconnect. A lack of intimate connection to our spouse. Distance. Lack of enjoying each other together. Lack of freedom in your expression of love for each other.

That’s how fantasizing hurts. It encourages solo vs shared. It encourages selfish control vs shared vulnerability. It encourages isolation vs intimacy.

And it’s something I still have to wrestle. Ever since that one little scene my innocent single-digit me saw when flipping channels, fantasizing has been my companion. I was in control. I was safe… or so I thought. And now it’s addiction that I have to battle from time to time. And I lose sometimes… or rather, I choose to dishonor God because my lust shoves Him aside selfishly & foolishly.

God Designed Sexual Intimacy… So Let Him Set the Boundaries… & Trust Him to Renew What Is Broken or Hurt

But I have seen God help shift the narrative. I have seen Him working. I have seen changes. I am learning to say, “God, I don’t think I can go without this, but I have to believe Your plan & design is better than mine, even as false as that may seem to me at any given moment. I have to trust that You can where I can’t. That You can change me. That You can help me rebuild. That You can help me have the free trust in my own marriage despite all of the poison I have encountered throughout my own lifetime, whether through media, strangers, friends, or through myself & my wrong, sinful choices. Please help me to believe that You know what You’re talking about & that Your design is best AND possible, even in the reality I’m in… even after all the years of mistakes I have made in contributing to my damaged view of possibility. Help me continue to change for Your way over mine, choosing to trust You more than my own desires for safety my way. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Shine HOPE by choosing to trust God & do it His way, even when you have trouble believing it can ever be possible. Where you can’t. He CAN. God is in the business of making all things new—even you, even in this.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 6.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Ginkgo Leaf Earrings–Golden (INDIA)

When you shop the Ginkgo Earrings (also available in silver-tone), you are creating safe jobs for women in areas of extreme poverty in India. These stunning, sculpted earrings are the perfect fair-trade fashion statement! Each gold-tone Ginkgo Earring features two connected ginkgo-shapes to create this beautiful dangle earring!

***Shop these beautifully handcrafted earrings from India, using the “Shop Here” link below, to empower women in India out of poverty!***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

What Is the START of Wisdom?

To start this off with a bang, I am just going to get right to it. Whether you believe God exists, whether you hate or love God, whether you believe in Jesus as the only way or that you can find another, whether you trust Him or not, the Bible gives us one truth to rule them all: “The fear of the LORD is the BEGINNING of wisdom….” (Proverbs 9:10a) (emphasis mine)

Do you know what that means? It means understanding that God is GOD & you are NOT as the very START of wisdom.

So, in other words, whether you want to believe Him or not… the start of wisdom is knowing that you don’t have to believe the GOD Who made you in order for Him to be absolutely correct on all things. And that to just reach the outskirts of wisdom, you have to start there.

Today (& next week), I would like to take a deeper look at some topics where these lines of truth seem to blur quite often. The 4 things I will be looking into are, this week: forgiving yourself & forgiving others, & next week: sexual identity, & sexual vulnerability/intimacy.

Unforgiveable Sin… BUT

Do you feel you have sinned in a way so disgusting, so wicked, so twisted, so shameful… that you think no amount of grace could ever save you?

Now, God says that none of us are without sin. (1 John 1:8; Romans 3:23) We all fall short. None of us measure up or are good enough. Makes sense, seeing as how God made everything, holds absolute authority, & yet we still have the cockiness to EVER assert ourselves above Him in any capacity, even doubting Him. In fact, the word “sin” actually has more of the idea of “missing the mark” rather than “doing bad stuff.” And I think we could all agree that we don’t get it right every second of our lives, even if we try really hard.

But, Jesus, right? God doesn’t say, “look how badly you screwed this up… well, Hell for you!” No, He takes no pleasure in any of that. In fact, knowing we could never pay our limitless debts to Him for our falling short… He sent His OWN Son to die in our place, taking on our shame & punishment… so that we could find forgiveness before God. (1 John 2:2; Romans 5:8; 1 John 1:9) WOW. Grace. Mercy. LOVE.

So, when we avoid surrendering that sin to God, in exchange for the grace bought by Jesus, not only is it like calling God a liar, but it’s also saying Jesus wasn’t enough for you. Ouch. When we recoil because we think, “nah, He can’t forgive that… that’s on me…” you belittle what Jesus gave for you… You make His death for you in vain. His suffering for you in vain. Jesus doesn’t have to pay extra for you. You don’t have to supplement what Jesus gave for you. You just have to take God (as GOD) at His word.

What are you waiting for?

How Can I Be Expected to Forgive THAT?

Next is forgiving others. Wow that is a TOUGH pill to swallow for some, is it not? I mean, I have had people do hateful, spiteful, careless, wreckless things to me. I have even faced sexual assault by a friend of mine & faced years of verbal assault as well, but that is NOTHING compared to the evils some have faced on this earth. (I am not minimizing what I have faced, but only recognizing that the trauma I know is only a mere fraction of what some carry.)

How can God ask us to forgive those people? That wickedness? How are we possibly supposed to not walk around with bitterness as our constant companion? Despair? Disgust? Hatred?

How can we LOVE them? PRAY for them? Do GOOD for them? Forgive them?

Honestly, sometimes I struggle with it myself. But when I consider how God made me, the world, & everything in it… & is seated on His throne & could have just let me face my deserved consequences… but rather sent His own Son to suffer horribly & die in my place, taking on the full weight of all of my sin, when He could have stayed on His throne instead… all so I could go to heaven not even based on my own righteousness…. It makes it a little harder to question Him.

It’s something that takes a dying to self for sure, because it is not comfortable or easy… & it can feel like I’m letting them off too easy.

When You Have Trouble Believing God Knows What He’s Talking About-Forgiving Self & Forgiving Others

But consider this… if they don’t repent of what they did to you, accepting Jesus as LORD over their life in place of their sin, you can be SURE that God is not going to be letting them off easy one bit. They WILL pay for EVERY wrong they have ever done. And it will be severe. Eternal suffering, in fact.

And if they DO repent & ask God for forgiveness, turning from their practicing of sin to making Jesus Christ LORD over their life… you can be sure that Jesus cared enough about you to take on every bit of deserved vengence & suffering upon Himself. No bad deed goes unpunished.

AND, to carry through from forgiving yourself… if you are the abuser…. If you are the one who committed unspeakable wrongs against someone else, I want you to read all that again. IF you do NOT repent & turn to Christ as your LORD & redeemer, you WILL suffer the consequences. God will NOT let you avoid the punishment you deserve. BUT, IF you repent, truly remorseful & wanting forgiveness, surrendering your life & will to Jesus Christ, He has ALREADY paid your debt in full & you WILL be forgiven & given a chance at a new beginning, as a new creation in Christ. Debts paid in full to God, by Jesus.

When It’s Hard to Forgive… Pray & God WILL Help You

It is not always too easy for me to consider forgiveness. I am a lot like Jonah, when I witness unspeakable horrors, I am admittedly not the first one to desire their redemption. I want them to pay for it. I want them to suffer. I want them to get what is coming to them.

I don’t want them to get off easy.

It’s something I have to pray through. I have to deny myself as God instructs. (Galatians 2:20; Luke 9:23) I have to consider what JESUS, Lord of heaven & earth, gave up for ME. And I have to pray & ask for God to help me respond in a way that pleases Him over how I naturally WANT to respond.

“Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)

What Happens When We Forgive the Unforgiveable

But think of what can happen when we respond the way God asks us to in place of how we feel is best….

Not only are we set free from dragging the bitter chains of painful agony around with us, darkening & poisoning our lives forever, letting the trauma continue to destroy us within…. The abuser expects attempted retaliation… hatred even. Sometimes they even crave the power trip it gives them. And if not, they just don’t seem to care.

But, when we, like God instructs, do good, even to those who mistreat us… that isn’t weakness. (Matthew 5:44-47; 1 Peter 2:18-24) That is an inner strength that God can supply as we allow Him to that is able to rise above anything thrown at us. To respond in grace versus pain. That gets noticed.

And, it opens space for repentance. That when God gets a hold of them, they don’t stay locked in a prison of their own shame, shackled by their guilt. It gives them space to discover the transformative power of the grace of God. To make them a new person who, by God’s grace, would never do that to another person ever again.

Look How Mightily God Used Paul, a Forgiven Sinner Underserving of Forgiveness

I imagine many a person was hesitant to believe Paul (formerly known as Saul)… to forgive Paul… for facilitating so much death & suffering on Christians. (Acts 7:57-58; Acts 8:1-3; Acts 9:1-7; Acts 22:4-5; Acts 26:9-11; 1 Corinthians 15:9) And yet, God flipped that man on his head, got his attention, & turned his life around for the glory of God. Don’t prevent someone from seeing God change the worst of hearts. God can do the impossible. So step aside, trust your suffering to Him, & learn to be a forgiver as Jesus Christ forgave you.

Shine HOPE by believing that God knows what He’s talking about, by accepting that when He says you are forgiven & that Jesus’ sacrifice is sufficient for your sins… He MEANS it… & by forgiving others as Christ first forgave YOU.

***Come back next week as I cover the continuation of this topic: when you have trouble believing God knows what He’s talking about with sexual identity & sexual vulnerability/intimacy.***

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for SEVEN years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Coastal Treasures Necklace (INDIA)

This feminine, gold-tone necklace features dainty Amazonite, Citrine, Rose quartz, and Green Amethyst charms. Handcrafted by women earning a dignified income in India, this necklace creates lasting change. The Coastal Treasures Necklace is perfect for daily wear or paired with other styles for a layered look!

*** Purchase the beautifully handcrafted Coastal Treaures Necklace, using the “Shop Here” link below, to help create safe jobs for women ending poverty cycles in India.***

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

God Made Us All Different for a Reason

One of the reasons I have grown to love reading the Bible is seeing over & over again how great God is. Seeing through the whole expanse of time, how He displays His limitlessness, His power, & His ability even when we have so little to offer Him.

The patience He showed with Jonah. The miracles He worked through Moses. The might He showed through Gideon. The gentle care He showed to former prostitutes. The sovereignty He showed through Job. The faithfulness He showed through the Israelites.

I could go on & on & on. And yet, through all of these examples (& more!) something amazing stands out to me. People in the Bible were not all the same in willingness, in faith, in making right choices, in personality… & yet, God used them all in such mighty ways that we still talk about them today!

We all have different backgrounds. Different upbringings. We have all lived different experiences. We all have different traumas, (even those subtle ones where we would claim with vehemence that it is not trauma, but are revealed in our unhealthy gut responses to things we have learned hurt us in the past). We all have grown up with different ways to protect ourselves or feel strong or avoid showing weakness. We all are made different by our personal circumstances & life experiences.

So, when I see God discussing the call for us to have unity in the body of Christ, I cannot fathom the thought that He intends for us all to look & sound the same, dress the same, handle things the same way, have the same strengths or the same weaknesses. To all be carbon copies. God is way more creative than that.

God Is Creative + God Is Sovereign

Diversity + unity seems to be the perfect blend.

We are called to have one mind—to be on the same mission: to know & love God more… all on the same team: seeking to serve & love others to the glory of God. Living as Jesus Christ’s ambassadors.

He calls us to obedience, to honor Him with our choices, our thoughts, our words. In the matter of following God’s law, in the matter of showing respect & honor where it is DUE… we are called to be the same.

But that doesn’t mean WE are all the same…. But in all of our differences, unity.

Avoid Only Being Around People Who Think Just Like You—Allow Room to Grow

The tendency of humanity is as the age old saying goes: birds of a feather flock together. While the fellowship & community with other believers is vital, it is so easy to hang out ONLY with other believers that make us feel comfortable in what we already think & believe.

I think one of the beautiful aspects of being part of the body of Christ is the concept of iron sharpening iron. We all have different growth needs. We all have different areas of strengths & weaknesses. And we can all help each other toward the goal of better representing Jesus to the world… toward striving for holiness. We will all be a forever work in progress & we NEED each other through it!

But we also need to live with grace toward one another.

The Struggle Spots in Some Friends Can Spurn Greater Growth in YOU, Too

Don’t avoid discomfort! We need it!

I have had friends in the last 10 years in every place I have lived in whom I could see some sort of trauma at work in their heart, trumping the truth of God’s Word. And they were unwilling to see it. That is very uncomfortable for me (even though I can also exhibit the very same stubbornness in certain seasons of my own life).

My temptation was to not spend time with them anymore because their ruts made me so unbelievably uncomfortable in some circumstances, even though I respected their faith & understanding of the Bible in areas where I was weak. But God challenged me that even through their weaknesses, it was challenging me to pray & study to solidify in my heart whatever truth of God’s Word their situation represented, challenging me to grow & grow myself!

I needed to be challenged versus just taking what I knew for granted… versus only talking about something that comes easily to me. It was good for me that they didn’t think like me because it challenged me to grow in my thinking more like Jesus & in better knowing God’s Word.

Don’t Kick Others While They’re Down… Even If It’s Behind Their Backs

It hurts my heart when I hear Christians talk ill of other Christians. And I see it A LOT. I probably have been guilty of it as well when frustrated & caught up in a conversation about said frustration.

But shame on me. Shame on us. What are we doing? Don’t we get that we’re all family under God because of Jesus?

We can shake our heads at Jonah, but which of us would see outright murder of young children to false “gods” & not feel like they ought to get what’s coming to them?

We can look at Abraham & be like, “DUDE, why are you putting your wife in a compromising-to-her-safety situation to protect yourself AGAIN,” but which of us would not also feel panic rise up when up against a royal army & possibly moody king with the power to kill you on a mere whim?

We can be absolutely disgusted by David’s infidelity (& basically murder), but which of us has not allowed the temptation of sin to deceive us at one point (or many times over a lifetime)?

(But how easy it is to relate to Job in his laments, right? Because his pain “makes sense” to us.)

Shame on us for holding up the judgment stick against another believer. Are their choices always good ones? No. Is hindsight always 20/20? Yes. Can we know God knows all & still end up doubting Him, fearing, or hesitating? Also yes.

How Easy It Is to See the Weaknesses of Others

I heard somewhere how we tend to look at our own misbehaviors or weaknesses or failures through a telescope, but for others, a microscope. Isn’t that the truth?

We know our intentions. We MEANT well. We didn’t MEAN to screw up so badly.

And yet… did you see how badly THEY screwed up? How poorly THEY are handling this? How long THEIR season of weakness is lasting?

Shame on us. Shame on me.

I think we can all agree that we have all had our own lapses in judgment, when flesh won out over spirit, even if “only” in our own heads. If that were broadcast about us as the subtitle to our life, wouldn’t that be embarrassing? Wouldn’t that HURT?! So why even consider doing that to someone else?

Give grace upon grace!

Be the One Who Edifies the Body… Versus Tearing It Down When It’s Weak

We are meant to build up one another toward Christ. We are meant to be the strength in another’s weaknesses. We are meant to comfort the fainthearted. We are meant to live in LOVING-as-an-action UNITY, even with our many differences.

Some of us are just a finger. Some are a whole foot. Some are the spine. Some are the eyeballs.

And you know what, I think our part to play changes through different seasons of our lives. But we are ALL meant to work alongside each other toward the same goal—honoring God with our lives & giving Him glory through the way we live & treat others.

Using your gifts. Using your resources. Using your time. Using whatever you have to offer Him in either your strengths or weaknesses.

He Is Worth It! Proclaim It!

Proclaiming to the world that whether you’re strong or weak… He is worth it.
Whether you fail or succeed… He is worth it.
Whether you get it right or have to try again… He is worth it.
Whether people “get you” or talk poorly about you… He is worth it.
Whether everyone loves you or everyone hates you… He is worth it.
Whether everything goes right or everything falls apart… He is worth it.
Whether you win it all or lose it all… He is worth it.
Whether you’re surrounded by loving family & friends or feel all alone… He is worth it.
Whether you’re strong or weak… He is worth it.
Whether you have everything to give or nothing at all… He is worth it.

It is never an “US” vs “THEM” situation. Only US.

Grace Upon Grace

We are ALL a work in progress. None of us have “arrived” & none of us ever will. Strong in a lot of areas? I guarantee you are not strong in EVERY area… & if you truly believe that you are… you are greatly blinded by deception my dear friend. Pray for God to show you your blind spots if you dare. (And you should dare… because He is gentle, faithful, already knows them, & Jesus already died for them—they don’t own you.)

And you should treat others with the same grace. If you see something, don’t be afraid to speak up IN LOVE, not to tear them down, not to feel self-righteous, not to look like “it’s a good thing they have me because BOY do they have a lot they need to work on,” but IN LOVE, to HELP them.

Yes, strive for holiness! Yes, obey God’s Word & encourage others to do so! But also, show grace in the failings. Support & encourage versus tear down. Pray for versus talk about. We’re all at different stages of growth in different areas. We need each other.

Don’t expect others to have it all figured out & pruned & perfected. Walk alongside them & encourage them as the Holy Spirit does that work in them throughout their lifetime of seeking to know, love, & obey God better. Fail forward.

God Doesn’t Need You… He WANTS You

GOD DOES NOT NEED THEM (OR YOU) TO BE PERFECT. Jesus died & paid IN FULL. PERIOD. God is infinite. He doesn’t need ANYTHING from us. But it’s because we trust Him to know best & we obey Him because He deserves it most, even when we don’t always understand. He CHOOSES to ALLOW us to participate in HIS work…. Don’t forget that.

We don’t need to talk down about others, stick our noses up at them, look down on them, feel shame paralyze us, worry what other people think of us, or put ourselves down.

JESUS. PAID. IN. FULL. ALREADY. FOR. THAT.

Obey Him As Lord, Trust Him As Your Savior

If you really love someone, if you really TRUST someone… the proof is in the pudding, as the saying goes. You will SEE it.

If others saw your life… would they see your love for God? Would they know?

God Can Use Even Just a Willing Heart…

We don’t all have to be on the same level in every area of growth for God to use us.
We don’t have to all look or act the same way for God to use us.

We don’t have to have the same upbringing or church background/knowledge for God to use us.
We don’t even have to respond rightly every time or get it right every time for God to use us.

We don’t have to have all the right answers for God to use us.

We don’t have to be capable at all for God to use us.

Because He is GOD. He doesn’t need our contribution. He is sovereign. He is good. He is far more gentle than we often are with each other. And He wants to use HIS power THROUGH us to love others & offer them a lighthouse home… to hope found only in the arms of their Savior Jesus Christ.

Diversity + Unity = The Perfect Blend

Diversity + Unity. All on the same team. All have different strengths & different weaknesses. All of us will have different seasons of victory or failure. All supporting one another & working together with one mind & one goal: to better love, honor, & obey God tomorrow than we did today, no matter where you’re starting from.

But we all serve the same great God. And Jesus died for ALL of it.

Let others be weak. Let them not have it all figured out. Let them make mistakes.

Because you are too, you don’t either, & you do too.

But God is strong when we are weak.
God knows all.
God is sovereign over even our mistakes, failures, & weaknesses.

ONE TEAM. FOR JESUS. THROUGH THE HOLY SPIRIT & THE POWER OF GOD ALMIGHTY.

Shine Hope by not looking at how differences make you uncomfortable or different, but how God uses all sorts of people in all states in every circumstance. Knowing God is more than capable of filling in the gaps. Not arguing. Not talking about. But loving, supporting, encouraging toward honoring God in every circumstance & weakness & struggle, come what may—Diversity + Unity = The Perfect Blend.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for SEVEN years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Mother of Pearl Earrings (INDIA)

Make a fair-trade fashion statement with these genuine mother of pearl earrings! These gorgeous earrings feature a gold-tone, organic-shaped stud with a mother of pearl circle. These unique artisanal earrings are handcrafted in a workshop in India that’s committed to fighting child marriage and helping women become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans.

***Purchase these beautiful earrings, handcrafted in India, by using the “Shop Here” link below, to empower women in India out of poverty!***

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

We All Have Trauma of Sorts… But We Also Have a Choice…

We cannot always control our circumstances… but we can always control our response.

All of us have trauma of some sort, whether it was unkind words that stuck, or bullying, or a tough childhood, or loss, or betrayal or injury or witnessing something awful. So many other things as well.

And we may downplay it, as if it isn’t actually trauma because we think it may not be as bad or as extreme as someone else’s trauma, but if it has had a negative impact on how you view yourself, others, life, or God… it’s trauma.

It’s important, I think, to dig up that trauma & face it/deal with it. Not to rehash it or grow in bitterness, but to avoid stuffing it or avoiding it when what we ought to be doing is turning it over to God by praying through it & finding healing in it… moving forward in freedom versus hiding from it in fear.

We have no control over our past, but we do have full control on how we respond to it.

Talk about TRAUMA

Other than Jesus, Joseph is my favorite example of this attitude of choosing to respond rightly even in the midst of just absolutely terrible circumstances.

(***You can read this gut-wrenching story laced with grace & honor & a trust in God that rose above every harsh circumstance, in its entirety, in Genesis 37-50. Easily one of my favorite stories told about in the Bible.***)

Most adored by his father (don’t show favoritism parents, just don’t do it), hated by his brothers because of it, Joseph was thrown into a deep pit to be left trapped to die by his brothers who resented him.

His eldest brother thought to just scare him, leave him in the pit (allegedly to die) so he could secretly free him later… but when big brother left the scene, the rest of the brothers decided they would make more profit from their hatred by SELLING their own brother, Joseph, into slavery.

Hated, thrown in a pit, his life threatened… to being sold as a slave by his very own flesh & blood.

That’s brutal.

He Couldn’t Control His Circumstances… But He Still Chose to Respond Rightly

But, did Joseph lash out & blame a poor response on all of that trauma he had most definitely just experienced?

The Bible doesn’t say. What it does say is that he did his very best at being a slave, serving his master honorably. So much so that his owner took notice that God was literally blessing & flourishing everything Joseph was put in charge of doing or managing.

Then, that same master who praised him & gave him power over ALL of the workings of his household had a wife who got mad that Joseph refused her advances in order to show respect & honor to his master, her husband. So, he got imprisoned because the angry, rejected, & likely embarrassed wife accused him wrongly of attempting indecency with her.

Joseph Kept His Eyes above the Storm… He Trusted GOD

But, did Joseph lash out & blame all of that trauma for it?

Again, the Bible doesn’t say. But it does say that he did his very best at being a prisoner, & that much like his recent master, the prison guard witnessed the very same thing about God obviously blessing everything he set his hand to & therefore put him in charge of the other prisoners. Like, what?

Not exactly how I would initially respond, that’s for sure. I would be demanding my rights!

Joseph understood–He couldn’t always control his circumstances… but he could for sure always control his response.

And let’s not neglect to mention that he felt so sure in his right responses because of one very important thing… he trusted that God had a plan & that God was in control in all of it somehow–even through all of that horrible trauma he had experienced.

Trauma Hurts… But it Doesn’t Define Us… & It Doesn’t Need to Control Us… & We Still Have a Choice in How We Respond to It…

I can’t say my sisters have ever hated me, but they for sure have never plotted to push me into a pit & leave me for dead (not to my knowledge anyway), nor have they ever sold me into slavery.

I’ve for sure been falsely accused & misunderstood & been lied about many times in my 41 years, with some just not feeling concerned with clearing the air, seeking reconciliation, or hearing my side of the story… content to dislike me for whatever they believe to be true about me–that kind of thing hurts, doesn’t it? But I’ve never been to prison for it like Joseph.

I have had plenty of very unkind things said to or about me that still ring in my head from time to time. I have been bullied, mocked, betrayed, & ostracized.

I have lived in an area of Japan where English wasn’t spoken much aka so much isolation, been through a pandemic of even more prolonged isolation, & have survived a once-in-20ish-years super typhoon of mass destruction. I have witnessed a whole lot of very real pain of people I care a whole lot about.

The Hurts Are Real… But So Is My God

I have wrestled through seasons of deep depression throughout my life, where suicidal thoughts were near daily & have gone through intense seasons of loneliness when I was in a place where I couldn’t seem to make any connections despite my efforts… where isolation was a very real reality for me.

It may not be the type of trauma that everyone can relate to or understand. It may not be as severe as a cancer diagnosis or losing a loved one… but trauma it is all the same.

And I couldn’t choose whether any of it happened to me.

But I can choose how I respond to it.

I can trust (& now see) that God always sees the future & has a plan & WILL always use every traumatic experience BOTH for my good & for His glory. Always. Every single time He has done so.

God Never Wastes Our Traumatic Experiences

Whether it is to strengthen my character or teach me compassion or give me personal perspective over the struggles of others so that I know how to better relate & be with them in it/through it. Whether it’s to see Him come through for me over & over & over again so that my trust in Him would solidify… so that it could anchor my soul… so that I could know rest in Him is possible despite the circumstances.

To see that the impossibilities He promises, through Him, are actually possible.

We need to take every opportunity to look for how we can trust God above all of our circumstances, honoring Him over self in all of our circumstances, knowing He has a plan & has it all figured out & knowing we just have to be good stewards of what we’ve got right now—through the good, the bad, & even the horrible.

Because God never wastes our traumatic experiences.

Think Like Joseph…

Even if a family member threatens your life.

Even if you were to get sold into slavery by your own family.

Even if you work hard & do your very best, only to have people accuse you of doing something you would never dream of doing… not leaving any room for reconciliation or hearing your side of the story.

Even if you are thrown into prison for a crime you never committed.

Even if you are hated & scorned, spit on & beaten, wrongly accused & everyone wants you dead. (Isaiah 53)

Even if you came to give your life for theirs but all they do is scream for your death. (1 Peter 2:24) (Luke 23:20-25)

Even if no one understands you.

Even if you feel alone in this life.

Even if the hard doesn’t ever seem to stop.

We just can’t blame our trauma.

We have to choose to respond in a way that gives God honor anyway, trusting that God has a plan every step of this very hard way. Trusting He will provide a way through it all with His help, every step.

Where Have You Allowed Your Trauma to Call the Shots in Your Own Life?

Where’s the stronghold in your own life?

What are you allowing to run the narrative?

What are you using as an excuse for inaction, for a bad attitude, for doubting God, for simmering in bitterness, for closing yourself off from others…? What excuse are you using?

Do you need to pray & ask God to help you better honor Him despite your poor circumstances?

Do you need to pray & ask God to help you trust that He will always have a plan & that He will always use every awful circumstance both for your good & for His glory?

Shine HOPE by recognizing why we can’t blame trauma… by choosing to give God glory & honor anyway, despite it… by choosing to trust that God is ultimately in control no matter how bad the current circumstances may be… by choosing to trust that God has a plan that you may not see, a plan that is 100% always both for your good & for His glory.

AMEN & AMEN.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for 6.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Daisy Gift Set (INDIA)

A thoughtful gift set to share with someone you love! Create fair paying jobs for women in a safe working environment in India when you purchase the Daisy Gift Set. This impactful set includes the Daisy Raffia Studs and the Daisy Handbag Charm. The Daisy Raffia Studs support women with fair-paying jobs, helps educate girls, fights child marriage, and empowers families leaving slums in India. The Daisy Handbag Charm is also created in a safe working environment for women in India to earn a dignified wage.

***Order this set, using the “Shop Here” link, to empower women in India out of poverty!***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!

Who Needs Sleep?

Well, this morning, at 8am, I sat at my laptop, ready to begin writing my blog for the week… after having not slept a single bit last night.

If you remember, I had that wonderful, great 4-day weekend I was so looking forward to last weekend, only to be sick for all of it & get nothing done on my list.

Fast forward back to THIS weekend, & I am thinking redemption is HERE. I am going to MAKE UP for last weekend! YES!

Oh, silly me.

Sick Again? Didn’t We Do This Last Weekend?

Friday, I woke up nauseated for no reason. I am used to my yearly ish dehydration sickness battle & this was not that. It also wasn’t as brutal as food poisoning—had that before, too. AND, it didn’t feel as bad as a stomach bug either. Literally only a couple “bathroom runs” & finally threw up only once (but, warning for tmi a LOT) sometime in the evening. I just felt stuck all day. No videos, no games, no movement or I felt it bubbling up. Just lying still with nothing to entertain me ALL DAY while feeling nauseated.

 Saturday, my wonderful husband remembered only a couple days prior that he had forgotten to tell me about a boat trip he had signed us up for that day. AND, what I expected to be the usual 3-4 hour boat trip was a SIX-HOUR boat trip, plus 40 plus minute drive each way. That day was shot, basically. Beautiful & fun with swimming, snorkeling, sea turtles, tropical fish, dolphins, sunshine, sunset, cool breeze. But gone nonetheless.

And Sunday? Stayed home from church SICK—with another cold! I cannot catch a break. Wasn’t I just sick with a cold all last weekend?

So, then I slept zero hours last night because my nose was like I had plastic wrap wrapped tightly over my nose, with zero airflow, so if my mouth even THOUGHT about slumping closed, I felt like I was literally being suffocated. Needless to say, it made it pretty hard for me to let myself relax enough to feel that again after the first few times.

Now that we’re all caught up… 8am at my laptop… no sleep… sick AGAIN… zero productivity AGAIN.

*deep sigh*

Pay Attention, Michelle!

I feel like God is trying to teach me something about trusting Him.

I mean, last week it was all “God AS my strength reminders” + “Jesus went through MUCH worse than this VOLUNTARILY to die for MY sin.” (Read that post, here: “What to Do When You’ve Got Nothing Left.”)

This week, I am feeling like my plans just are not working out. And they’re good plans.

Trying to Get Ready

My sister & nephew are coming to visit our home for the FIRST TIME since we moved overseas THIRTEEN years ago. FIRST time. I want it to be perfection.

And not because I think she’ll judge me or be disappointed in me. No, I know her well enough to show the messy & feel confident she’ll still love me without judgment. No problems there.

But, this is her FIRST time. Probably her ONLY time. She won’t get to see a before & after. Only one or the other. I want it to be a summation of all the years my hubs & I have spent growing in our marriage & life & home together. I want her to see it at its very absolute best if she’s only going to get to see it once.

Plus, these are things I want to accomplish anyway, & having a deadline to work toward is a good motivational kick-in-the-rear to get moving on those projects.

Crafting My Plan to Stay on Task

Back in January, I recognized clearly how busy life gets. How easily “I have so much time to get things done” can turn into “oh no! I only have 2 weeks left!”

So, I started a general “20 Tasks in 20 Weekends” list to help me track with the ticking clock. I made a list of the 20 most desirable to-do projects I want done before they arrive, while also listing the dates of the next 20 weekends.

I’ve done pretty well, but not where I’d like to be & so I have been trying to spend a weekend these last few weekends just knocking several almost-done ones off to help level the numbers. But… well you see how well THAT’S going.

My Personal Strength Is but a Mirage… But So Is Any Semblance of Control in My Own Life

It’s almost like God is DELIBERATELY pulling the rug out from under me, as if to say again & again, “remember, Michelle, you are not the one who is in control here.”

So, I don’t know. Maybe God will just have tons to be left undone & I will have to settle for their one & only experience being the “before” experience rather than its shiny final form.

Maybe God wants to show me how no matter what curveballs life may throw at me, they have nothing on Him & He will come in clutch & just make it to all work out when it seems I don’t have close to the amount of time I will need to complete it all.

I don’t know. God does. I don’t.

When Things Don’t Go as Planned… God Is Still in Control

Basically, I need to just rest in my being sick state. I need to rest easy & know that whatever happens, it’s in His hands completely. He doesn’t lack control for one single second. He knows what will happen before it happens. He can also very well make the impossible happen.

And He can also show me that even if it doesn’t work out at all as I’d really hoped it would… He has a reason somehow in that, too. Even if I can’t at all see it.

Because when things don’t go as planned… God is still in control.

Amen? Amen.

What Holds You Back & Stresses You Out?

What keeps getting pushed back against your preparations & efforts that is stressing you out? Have you thought to trust that God sees & God knows? That He can help you? That He has a plan in what just looks like a mess right now to you? That you’re not in this alone? That His timing & priorities are higher than the ones we come up with for ourselves? In other words, we ought to be trusting HIS judgments way above even our own. He doesn’t ever have to guess or panic.

Shine HOPE by resting in His all-knowing plan, not letting messed up plans throw you off or stress you out, knowing they’re all in His hands & He’s got it covered. Every bit of it. Even when you don’t.

Coming Next Week

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As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Calla Wristlet (INDIA)

The Calla Wristlet creates fair paying jobs for women in India to earn a dignified income, in some instances for the first time in their life. This ethically made design is functional and stylish with its multi-colored, woven wristlet strap as well as a zippered card pouch that includes two card slots and another zippered coin pouch. The cream color of this zippered vegan leather wristlet is perfect for the woman on the go. 

*** Purchase this beautifully handcrafted Calla Wristlet, using the “Shop Here” link below to empower women in INDIA out of poverty! ***

How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:

#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

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Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!